"That bastard didn't even know what happened." Jace laughed while entering the Institute with Alec and Isabelle. "I think I'll call your whip 'the head-slicer' from now on."

"It'll be offended." Isabelle grinned with a teasing smile on her lips. "It can do much more than slice heads off demons' shoulders."

"Yeah, but this move today was its top-moment." He raised his hands in attempt of description of that top-moment. "One moment; a big ugly demon in front of me, teeth like knives, smelling worse than sewerage system. Another moment; a big ugly head of the mentioned demon flying around, still smelling worse than sewerage system, and its stinky blood falling all over our heads. My, that was really a sight to see."

"And to smell." Alec added. "Exactly what you are now."

"Look who's talking." Jace replied, knowing very well Alec was teasing him. His own voice was sarcastic, but accompanied by a big grin on his face. "You smell like you haven't seen water and soap for two months."

"And you smell like you haven't seen either for three." Alec grinned.

"And Isabelle smells like she hasn't seen either for a year." The boys burst out laughing as they glanced at their sister, who was shooting Jace a murderous glare.

"You must never, ever, ever, say that to a girl." She hissed. "Especially not to the one who wields the head-slicer."

"I knew you'd like the name." He patted her shoulder theatrically.

"I knew it could cut your head off for this offense if I wanted it to." She threatened, but the danger in her voice was too exaggerated to be honest.

It made him grin.

"I love you too, Izzy." He said. "Even when you smell."

She pushed him, so he barely avoided a nasty contact between his nose and a wall. Then she ran and before he could have his revenge, she entered her room and closed the door. When he grabbed the doorknob, he heard her locking the door.

"What?" He asked with fake innocence in his voice when he heard Alec joining him in front of the door that led to Isabelle's room. "I just stated a fact. Why did she take offense?"

Alec smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"She's a girl. They can get like that sometimes, I guess." He said.

"Girls." Jace sighed overdramatically and looked at his parabatai.

It surprised him when he saw a grin on Alec's face.

"But I know somebody else who gets like that sometimes." Alec patted his shoulder. "Trust me that I say this with your best interest at heart, Jace. Go take a shower. You smell like a dead rat."

"You'd know." Jace replied after Alec had already made a few steps toward his own room.

Before his parabatai could strike back, he followed Isabelle's example and ran toward his room. He burst into his room, slammed the door behind him and locked them as fast as he could. Just at the moment he turned the key, the door shook.

"This doesn't end here, Jace!" He heard Alec yell, but also that his parabatai could barely stop laughing for long enough to actually speak.

"Yes, it does!" He yelled back. "Now go away before my room starts to smell like you!"

He loved having the last word, so he ran straight into the bathroom before he could hear Alec's answer. But his parabatai was right. He really needed a shower. There was dirt, blood and sweat all over his body. Maryse would kill him if he showed his face in front of her looking like that.

This is ready to be burned. He smirked, glancing at the clothes he had taken off. There's no way I'll put that on again.

The shower was a true blessing. As the water streamed down his body, his tired muscles were regaining a bit of their strength, like the dirt had been choking them. He felt refreshed, almost as if he could run into another battle right now. But he didn't want to end the therapy just yet. When the actual showering was done, he relaxed and closed his eyes, letting the water fall on his face and enjoying its warm touch. After a couple of minutes, he decided he had wasted enough water and got out of the shower. He grabbed a towel and wiped himself dry.

After a few minutes, he was lying on his bed with his eyes closed, letting himself relax completely. It had been a long day and though he'd never admit it, his body desperately needed rest.

But just when he was about to fall asleep, he heard somebody knocking on the door of his room.

"Come in." His eyes remained shut and his voice was lazy, because he wasn't really interested in the intruder's identity.

"This is for you." He recognized Maryse's voice. "From Idris."

There was only one person from Idris who would send anything to him. He opened his eyes immediately. She handed him the letter and smiled gently.

"I'll leave you alone." She said and walked out of the room.

He stared at the letter in his hands, wondering what it contained.

It had been three months since he had last seen Victoria. A day hadn't gone by since that he hadn't thought of her at least once. He wanted to write to her, but he had no idea what about. He doubted she would be interested in hearing about Clary having a new boyfriend, a werewolf from Luke's pack. Since she knew neither Simon nor Isabelle very well, he saw no point in writing about them and their relationship. Maybe she would like to hear that Alec had partly recovered from the break-up with Magnus, since he was smiling again, but it didn't seem enough even for one letter. He didn't want to write about his fighting skills going back to their full power. Maybe she would like to hear that, but he didn't want to sound conceited. He didn't want to write about how much he really missed her, despite listening to her advice about imagining her being right next to him whenever he needed her. It would just make everything worse, to put his feelings down on the paper. He would no longer be able hide them in the deepest part of his mind, pretending that they weren't there. It was easier that way. But it was also the reason why his hands were shaking while holding her letter.

Jace Lightwood, afraid? He could hear her voice as if she was standing right next to him. The man who can face an entire army of demons is afraid to open a letter?

By the Angel, I really am a coward. He laughed at himself and pulled the letter out of the envelope.

He took a deep breath and began to read.

Dear Jace,

I hoped that I had been wrong, but when no letter came after two and a half months, I knew I had no choice but to start writing. Because if I don't do it, you definitely won't. I know you well enough to be sure of that.

Blood crept up his cheeks, even though there was nobody around to be embarrassed in front of. Damn it, she really did know him well.

Maybe you don't know what to write about. I understand that, since I've also been thinking a lot what to write about in this letter. What would you want to hear? What if I accidentally hurt your feelings while writing it, considering some things can't hurt me, but can hurt you? So, I hope you don't mind that I asked Jonathan for help. Without him, you wouldn't even have got that 'dear' in the beginning. I've completely forgotten about it and he was the one who pointed out it should be there. So, you can be sure Jonathan is completely on your side where this letter is concerned.

Lucky me. He thought sarcastically, but decided he should read further without trying to figure out which parts were Victoria's and which were Sebas-… no, Jonathan's.

During the first month after we had left New York, our lives were quite difficult. We could go nowhere without being accompanied by at least one Shadowhunter. I didn't blame the Clave, I knew they, like you, couldn't just forget who Jonathan had been, but I knew it was especially difficult for him.

Jace tried to feel at least a bit of compassion for his former enemy. But when he thought of him, he still saw a boy with black, not with green eyes. Then he remembered Victoria's words about Jonathan being his protection back then when they were babies. Somehow, it was enough to make him feel sorry for the light-haired boy.

You probably won't believe me when I tell you what helped us. But maybe I'll be the surprised one, so here it goes. Do you remember when I told you that we who didn't have angels' blood in our veins were sometimes asked to babysit children of Shadowhunters?

Of course I do. He smiled. It was the reason you came to New York. To babysit a not so young child.

A young mother was looking for someone to take care of her two-year old son James. She was supposed to go on a mission with her husband a week later and couldn't find anyone else to look after him, so she asked me. But she was determined that I came to her house alone to take care of him. Since the Clave insisted that I had to watch over Jonathan all the time, I couldn't do that. But I managed to convince her to let us both come one day, so she could watch us taking care of her son – so she could watch Jonathan taking care of her son. She was completely amazed that day, like you'd have been if you'd been there. Jonathan played with James the whole afternoon. He carried James around the house, pretending that James was flying. We played hide-and-seek. Jonathan read to James and tickled him.

Jace had trouble imagining Jonathan doing all that. It just didn't go together with the picture of demon he had in his mind. Jonathan he remembered didn't play with children. On the contrary, he murdered them.

But he knew Victoria wouldn't lie to him. Like before, he could see a new picture in her words. He could see another world, a world where demons became angels. He couldn't deny that he loved seeing it, that he was happy for Jonathan. The thought made him smile, despite everything.

It was one of the most amazing sights I've ever seen. Smiles didn't leave their faces for a second. Susan, James's mother, couldn't believe it. She said that she had never seen James becoming so attached to a stranger. She was a little suspicious because of it, but she couldn't deny that James adored Jonathan. He didn't want to let us go home in the evening.

It didn't take long for rumours to start spreading. Shadowhunters didn't believe that children could like Jonathan. They invited us to their homes just so they could see it with their own eyes. Wherever we went, Jonathan made a connection with children right away. I guess it's because he's kind of like them. Like them, he's at the beginning of his life. But what I think is the reason why they love him so much is his smile when he looks at them. I can't put it into words, Jace, but if you could see him, you'd know what I mean. The children feel he's their friend and he feels they are his. And he loves it, he loves being loved.

Don't we all? Jace could feel his heartbeat pounding against his chest. Victoria's words, whether actually hers or Jonathan's, were full of warmth. That warmth spread through his body, like he still had Heavenly fire in his blood. He read that part of the letter once more, amazed by love and care that it was filled with. It reminded him of the Victoria he had fallen in love with. Despite her inability to feel, he believed those words were truly hers, even if they were written completely objectively. But she still remembered what it meant to feel every emotion within them. This letter was proof that girl still lived, still knew how to say the words he needed to hear.

You should see the 'kindergarten' in our house. I think there hasn't been a day in these two months that at least three children haven't spent at least an hour here. I don't mind it and I know Elizabeth wouldn't mind either. I believe she'd love the current purpose of her house. If she were alive, she'd never be lonely with all of us around. I've even heard that the Clave avoids having meetings at the time for playing in our house because they can't hear each other. What can I say; we're quite noisy at the time. Or maybe I should say; the children and Jonathan are noisy at the time. They just can't stop laughing. But I'm not complaining. I'm glad that they can't. But you should see them when Jonathan reads to them. They all seem completely mesmerized by his words. And they have a good reason, because he reads beautifully. I sometimes leave everything just to listen to him with them. Nobody has read to me since Elizabeth and I really love listening to him. But he still insists that I read to him every night, like a mother to a child. I know he loves it and I don't mind it, so I grant his wish. He also insists that I call him 'Jon' instead of 'Jonathan'. When I asked him why, he said that my eyes looked differently when I said 'Jonathan' than when I said 'Jon'. I haven't noticed it, but I trust him, so I call him the name he likes more.

"It makes him feel closer to you." Jace mumbled out loud without even realizing he was doing it. The letter still held all of his attention.

I'm writing the next part without Jonathan's help. There are some things that I want to say to you without him hearing them. I don't want to remind him of his past, even if it's the past he doesn't remember.

You should see the way his eyes spark whenever I or any of the children call him 'Jon'. You'd never say it's the same boy that threatened to destroy the world. It's a shame Valentine had raised him to be a murderer when it's obvious that he loves life so much more than death. When I look at him now, I know he feels that he belongs here. Even Shadowhunters are starting to feel that he's one of them, one of us. They don't look at him with so much hatred anymore. They haven't forgotten who he was, but I think they are slowly starting to accept the person he is now.

He's asked me about you and Clary a few times. He tries to look and sound indifferent about you two, but I know he wants to know more. I think he's even more interested in you. He had talked to Clary and made some kind of peace with her before we left New York, but I think he feels that he didn't make his peace with you and it bothers him. Maybe you should come and talk to him. And before you even think of it; yes, it's not just for Jonathan's sake, I'd love to see you as well.

Stop it! Jace laughed out loud in amusement. It's not fair that you know me so well! You know what I'm going to think!

But he loved her for that and he couldn't wait to see her again. There was only one sentence left and after that he would start packing.

In expectation of either your letter or your magnificent self in person,

Love

Victoria