Chapter 35: Game of Kingdoms, part 2
Previously on Family Guy: OC Universe...
"Let me read you a fantasy book" Helena said, opening the book "It's the story of Innerland, a world inside of ours..."
...
"I can't believe I'm gonna meet more of my boyfriend's relatives!" Meg cheered.
...
"Father, brother, sisters, nephews and niece. I'd like to re-introduce you to my husband...Franklin Walker" Helena said.
"*nervous* Hello, guys" Frank greeted.
*the Oldman gasped*
"You did WHAT?!" Sir William asked, outraged.
...
"This room is off-limits" Albert said.
Amy entered the empty room as Eddie followed her.
"Amy!" Eddie called her as she took off the blanket revealing...a wardrobe.
"An old wardrobe?" Amy asked "That's the thing he wants us to stay away from?"
...
Amy was in Innerland meeting Eileen.
"I am Eileen" the Eileen said.
...
'Five Warriors Outside of Innerland Will Come, So They All Can Overthrow The Evil King And His Throne'" Eileen explained the prophecy.
"That's my brother and cousins!" Amy said, pointing at each warrior.
...
Meg met King Draggoroy.
"Meg...would you like to be...Goddess Princess of Innerland?" Draggoroy asked.
"What?" Meg asked, surprised of the question
"Or better yet...GODDESS QUEEN OF INNERLAND?" Draggoroy asked.
...
Draggoroy used his scepter again to control Meg's mind.
"Let the hatred consume you...you want to make them suffer..." Draggoroy ordered with an evil smile.
"I-want-to-see-them" Meg said with a monotone voice.
"Altimore!" Draggoroy called.
"Yes, your majestic?" Altimore asked.
"I want you to go to the exterior world and find these people" Draggoroy ordered, magically projecting from Meg's mind: the Griffins.
...
Eileen knighted our heroes.
"From now on: you all will be the New Knights of Justice" Eileen said.
...
"I will spare your lives with one condition: you ALL will become my slaves!" Meg daid,
"Slaves?!" Lois asked "You can't do this to your own family!"
"Meg Griffin is gone!" Meg said approaching Draggoroy "From now on, for the rest of my life, I'll be called..." she took Draggoroy's hand, so they can both raise them "GODDESS QUEEN MEGARA!"
They both evilly laughed as the Griffins were staring with fear.
...
The parody of the Game of Thrones opening is shown; Innerland is built including the four frontiers and Draggoroy's Kingdom. Everything happened while Jackie is singing background.
Jackie:
Kingdoms! Game of...
Kingdoms! Game of...
Kingdoms! Game of...
Kingdoms!
Jackie:
This...is...a game where you risk...
Your life
(Kingdoms! Game of Kingdoms! Game of Kingdoms!)
Jackie:
A bloody game...that makes Peter Jackson...
Cry!
(Kingdoms! Game of Kingdoms! Game of Kingdoms!)
Jackie:
It's a game!
That shouldn't be played!
This is not Yu-Gi-Oh!
(Kingdoms! Game of Kingdoms! Game of Kingdoms!)
"Jackie!" Eddie snapped at him.
Our heroes were about to fight the giant sandworm with all his 'computer animated appearance'.
"There's no time to sing, we have a monster to take down!" Eddie said.
The sandworm attacked the girls, but they both quickly dodged it.
"What we're gonna do?!" Ronnie asked to Eddie.
"Let me take of this!" Eddie answered "Hey you!" The sandworm turned at Eddie "David Lynch called! They need you on the set of Dune! I can't believe I just said that"
The sandworm attacked Eddie, but he cuts the head off with his sword.
"Heck yeah!" Jackie praised.
"Way to go, bro'!" Amy cheered.
But suddenly, the sandworm's head regenerated.
"God, I hate creatures with regenerating powers" Eddie said "It's like they're cheating!"
"Stop complaining like a bitch!" Emily said, taking out her daggers "Leave this to me"
Emily decided to make a risky move: letting herself be eaten by the sandworm. Then inside of the worm, she found the heart and she stabbed it with one of her daggers. The sandworm seized up like a fat guy having an heart attack and fell to the ground dead. The last thing it did was spitting Emily out, who's covered with the sandworm's slime.
"Yuck!" Emily said, disgusted "At least the beast is dead"
"What the hell was that?" Eddie asked "Eileen, you told us your brother destroyed all the mystical creatures of Innerland!"
"It wasn't a mystical creature" Eileen corrected "It was created by Draggoroy in case somebody is looking for the ruler."
"Don't tell me there will be more..." Ronnie said, a little scared.
"In order to find the lost ruler, you have to defeat the monster" Eileen said.
"But, we already defeated the monster" Jackie said "Nothing is happening..."
But then they felt an earthquake and they found out something was coming out of the sand. Everybody stepped back as a big palace emerged from the sand.
"Is that...?" Eddie asked.
"Princess Ofira's palace!" Eileen answered "I hope she's all right"
Everybody got into the palace where they found a sleeping black-haired woman with a Jewish nose.
"She's sleeping" Eddie said.
"Under Draggoroy's spell" Eileen added "But I can fix that" she used her wand to wake her up.
"Uh, huh...?"
"Princess Ofira..." Eileen said, kneeling to her as our heroes did the same "It's such an honor to have you back-"
"I was having a beautiful dream about unicorns and you have the gall to awake ME?! Princess Ofira asked, very angry and with a child-like voice with a Jewish accent "You better say something important!"
"My brother has taken over Innerland" Eileen said "And these young people are the New Knights of Justice. We need the weapon to stop him. Can you please give us your key?"
"No! I don't want to! It's made of gold and it's mine!" Princess Ofira answered throwing a tantrum "Now go away!"
"Please, Princess" Eileen begged "He destroyed every creature that ever existed: trolls..."
"I don't care" Princess Ofira said,
"Centaurs..."
"Still don't care"
"Unicorns"
"I don't...wait, what?" Princess Ofira asked "Even unicorns?" Eileen just nodded as Ofira cried like a baby "I'll never see a unicorn again!"
"Calm down, princess" Eileen said "All we need it's your key to unlock the weapon and stop Draggoroy. He has the scepter to revive all the creatures including the unicorns"
"*stop crying* Really?" Princess Ofira asked.
"Trust us, there's still hope" Eileen answered.
"Okay...here!" Princess Ofira threw her key completely made of gold "Do it...for the unicorns"
Our heroes left the castle.
"Wow, I never thought girls love pretty horses so much" Jackie said.
"I know how she feels since I'm a brony" Eddie said.
"Am I the only Oldman who keeps the family's dignity?" Emily asked.
"Oh, me!" Ronnie answered, raising his hand.
"You're adopted, you don't count" Emily said "If it wasn't for us, I bet you would spend the rest of your life planting rice"
*everybody gasps*
"You know what, Emily, you can be mean, you can be cruel!" Amy said "But being racist is crossing the line!"
"Stay out of this, AMELIA" Emily said as Amy got REALLY pissed off and attacked her.
Both girls started a cat fight, at least just pulling each other's hair. Sorry for disappointing you, pervs.
"Girls, please, stop" Eddie gently ordered, but as they didn't listen "ENOUGH!" he used his sword to stab the ground and separate them "We're ALL against Draggoroy, NOT against ourselves! So you better show your best behavior!"
"Oh, so you're the leader now?" Emily asked.
"Don't tempt me, Emily" Eddie said with authority.
"Face it: you don't have the guts to be one" Emily said "I should be the leader! I came from a magnificent family! You? Your father is a pity drunk and your mother has Stockholm Syndrome"
Eddie raised his hand to slap her...
Do it…slap her for the bitch she is…
Eddie glanced to his side to see a vision of Axel…in Emperor Palpatine's outfit.
"Axel? What are you doing in my head…and when did you become Ian McDiarmid?" Eddie asked in his head.
"I'm not Axel…at least, not the one currently having an orgy with top models right now. I'm a figment of your mind created by your desire to become a man like me." Fake Axel explained.
"And the outfit?" Eddie challenged.
"Oh, I took a wrong turn into the part of your mind that keeps a list of your favorite movies…" Axel shrugged, "But back to the bitch at hand…you need to put that broad in her place! Give her one big slap on her face…or her ass…whichever comes first."
"Ew, gross! That's my cousin!" Eddie grimaced.
"Hey, I hear rough sex is the way to go in setting bitches straight. I don't know why I try that with Connie." Axel laughed.
"Well-wait, when do you have sexual feelings for Connie? You hate her!"
"I do…but you seem to have a little tidbit about her in your 'sexual fantasies' section…looks like you have a thing for popular girls…"
"Okay, get out of my head, you're not helping!" Eddie asked…but Axel remained, "Well, begone!"
"Doesn't work that way, but since you aren't going to play ball, I might had well check out the rest of your brain. Farewell!" Axel waved, as he 'poofed' out.
Eddie managed to control himself, as he brought his hand down.
"You see, you don't have the guts." Emily sneered.
Eddie stifled a growl.
Slap her ass...
Eddie glared at the vision of Axel whispering in his ear.
"Sorry, I leave you alone now." Axel apologized as he vanished again.
"We need to continue on our way." Eileen said.
"This was scarier than that bear I met in the forest" Ronnie said.
Flashback
Ronnie was in the forest until he met Tim the Bear, who was trying to take a dump.
"Don't tell my family I was here" Tim said.
Flashback's end
Meanwhile, in Draggoroy's castle; Draggoroy forced the Griffins (who are now wearing gray slave clothing) cleaning every part of the castle.
"This is HORRIBLE!" Chris complained.
"I can't believe we're Meg's slaves!" Peter said.
"Can you blame her, Peter?" Lois asked.
"Uh, DUH!" Peter answered.
"Well, I don't" Lois replied "First off: we suck on keeping our promises"
"And second?" Chris asked.
"Her mind must be controlled by that bratty young king" Lois said "Didn't you notice her pupils? They were purple like the orb of the young king's scepter."
"So...he did what Marik does to his victims in Yu-Gi-Oh!?" Chris asked.
Cutaway
Marik was using his Millennium Rod on his Rare Hunters.
"All of you! Go find Yugi and his friends!" Marik ordered as the male Rare Hunters went to find them. He turned to his female Rare Hunters "Ladies...take off your clothes!" the ladies took off their clothes to their underwear "Good. Blondie, make out with the Brunette" they started making out "Oh yeah...It's a shame 4Kids has to delete this scene."
Cutaway's end
"Then what are we waiting for?" Peter asked "Let's take his scepter and free Meg!"
"No!" Lois said "We must continue be their slaves! WE deserved it!"
"Aw, come on!" Peter complained "Don't you miss our home? Our friends?"
"To be honest, Bonnie is a bitch" Lois answered.
"Stewie?" Chris asked.
"Oh my god, STEWIE!" Lois screamed "I completely forgot him! He must be alone and scared!"
Flashback
Stewie was in his bed, snoring while he was having a dream where he pretended stabbing somebody.
"Die...Lois...die..." Stewie said, asleep "Hmm...I love the taste of your blood...oh, hello, Liam Hemsworth"
Flashback's end
"We must beg Meg to let us go, so I can go back to Stewie!" Lois said.
"You know, I watched an episode of our show where you said to him: *imitating Lois's voice* 'Screw you, you little turd!'" Chris explained.
"Don't be silly, Chris" Lois said, skeptical "And I don't talk like that!"
Meanwhile, in the Southern Frontier (a forest); our heroes continued looking for the next ruler. But they decided to set up a camp, so they can sleep for the night. Eddie, Jackie and Ronnie were sleeping in one tent, Amy and Eileen were in another tent and Emily had a tent just for herself since she refuses to sleep with Amy.
"Can I ask you something, guys?" Ronnie asked "Why do Amy and Emily hate each other so much?"
"Well, I guess you should know…" Eddie said "There was a time when Amy and Emily were friends..."
Flashback
When I was in the juvenile hall, she and my Mom went to England where Amy studied in a boarding school. This is where she and Emily became friends.
A 6 years old Amy was in a boarding school, wearing a uniform. She was too shy to get along with the other girls, but Emily was the exception.
"Do you want to play together?" little Emily asked.
"Ah...sure!" little Amy answered.
They were like sisters, always having each others' backs.
We see both girls jumping the rope, swinging and even Emily puts her a brand-aid on her knee when she got hurt.
"We'll always be friends, Amy?" little Emily asked.
"Best friends!" little Amy answered.
They did their friendship salute:
Amy and Emily:
Sparkles! Sparkles!
Sunshine! Sunshine!
Lady bugs please make us SMILE!
They lay on the ground while they laugh.
Flashback's end
"It was so wonderful!" Eddie said "Amy was very shy and lonely, but thanks to her friendship with Emily, she became the cheerful girl we know and love"
"But then what happened?" Ronnie asked.
"Well, any piece of art will be criticized by some snobbish jackass" Jackie said.
"What he means, it's that our uncle Jeremy wasn't pleased with that friendship" Eddie said.
Flashback
Jeremy was scolding his daughter.
"But she's my friend, Daddy!" little Emily said.
"No, she's your cousin and I forbid you to see her again!" Jeremy said "I won't let my sister, a failure of a mother and wife, to let her children corrupt mine!"
Flashback's end
"After that, Emily did her best to please her father and that includes hurting Amy's feelings" Jackie said.
"I don't like this story..." Ronnie said in a sad tone.
"There's no bad teammates, just bad leaders" Jackie said "If a leader fails, everybody fails"
Jackie's words affected Eddie so much that he stood up to leave the tent.
"Excuse me, I'm gonna take a walk" Eddie said, going outside.
Eddie was walking around with a confused mind. Doubting about his own leadership. Suddenly, he found a well full of mystical water. He felt a little thirsty, so he was about to grab some until...
Do not touch the water!
Eddie heard the voice and looked around to find the owner. And he found an old lady that looks like a ghost.
"It's a well to see the future" the ghost old lady said "Sometimes it's better off leaving what life is planning for us a mystery"
"Who are you?" Eddie asked.
"Don't you remember me? Eddie?" the ghost old lady asked "I'm Annabeth. Your grandmother"
"Grandma Annabeth?!" Eddie asked, surprised "I thought you were dead!"
"I am...I'm her spirit" Annabeth said "You see..."
Flashback
Like watching a painting, we see Annabeth dying on a hospital bed. There's also Sir William James praying to the stars.
Your grandfather was so heartbroken, that he wished for the stars to turn my soul into a spirit to guide our children and grandchildren.
Flashback's end
"But, why a spirit in this fantasy world?" Eddie asked.
"I was his inspiration" Annabeth answered "I had the hope the prophecy would be true and see if you become the leader of the New Knights of Justice to overthrow the spoiled and tyrant king"
"Well, I think this clichéd and overdone prophecy is wrong about me" Eddie said "I suck at being the leader"
"You just need to follow your heart and never give up" Annabeth said
"Can I take JUST a little look at the well?" Eddie asked "Please..."
"...okay, but just for a second" Annabeth said.
Eddie slowly touched the water and then...
*ROAR*
He saw a flames everywhere and an evil creature eye similar of Sauron from Lord of the Rings.
"AH!" Eddie screamed as he stopped touching the water.
"What did you see?" Annabeth asked.
"I don't know, it wasn't clear" Eddie answered "But I have the feeling that I shouldn't give up and keep fighting"
"I'd wish I still had my body...so I can embrace you"
Eddie tried to hug her, but since she was a ghost, she disappeared.
"Grandma..." Eddie whispered.
Next day; our heroes were packing up their stuff to continue their way.
"Guys, last night I was taking a walk and...I saw our grandmother" Eddie said.
"WHAT?!" everybody asked.
"I know it sounds crazy, but I know I saw her" Eddie replied "I found a well that allows you to see the future and then I saw her...at least her spirit"
"Okay, I think you officially became mad!" Emily said.
"I don't think so" Eileen said "Sometimes, when they were unable to sleep during the night, the Knights of Justice could see the spirits of the people they knew and loved. Families, lovers and even close friends"
"Well, looks like even if I die, Emily would be unable see me!" Amy said.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Emily asked.
"Not again" Jackie complained.
"Because we're not friends, remember?" Amy asked "All because of your stick-in-the-mud father!"
"Do not involve my father on this!" Emily warned "He knows what it's best for me!"
"Oh yeah, just like Jackie's dad who dumped auntie Anastasia for supermodels half his age!" Amy said.
"That's true" Jackie said "I couldn't agree any more"
"You will pay for your...!" but then she was attacked by a savage white mandrills with sharp teeth "AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
*mandrill roars*
Our heroes took out their weapons. Amy shot an arrow at the mandrill, killing it at the instant.
"What the hell was that?!" Eddie asked.
"More Draggoroy's creatures, this time White Mandrills" Eileen answered "But...I don't understand. They usually are in..." then she looked around and they were surrounded by dozens of White Mandrills "...packs"
"All right, guys, if we work together we can take them down" Eddie said "Ronnie, is there a rope in your bag?"
"Let me see..." Ronnie answered, but he realized the bag was gone "Oh, poop…" They realized it was taken by one of the mandrills.
"Plan B, genius?" Emily asked.
Eddie just looked at one of the mandrills and he imagined Axel's face on it.
"Hey, Wimpy Walker!" 'Axel' called.
"Axel?" Eddie asked.
"*sarcastically* No, I'm Rafiki from the Lion King" Axel answered "Are you ready to put your pants on and be a man or keep your panties on and be a sissy girl?!"
"What are you doing now?!" Eddie demanded.
"The only way you are going to survive is to go Patrick Bateman on their asses…however, since you lack my bloodlust and high levels of badassery, I have to get you angry like the Hulk."
"And you will do that…how?"
"Simple. Imagine me f*cking your mom's mouth to a point where I break her jaw." Axel stated simply.
Eddie's mind snapped like a violin string.
"*growl* I have one: LET'S KICK THEIR NAKED ASS!" Eddie exclaimed.
They charged at the mandrill, as a vision of Axel smiled.
Everybody decided to attack with their respective weapons while Eileen used her magic to protect herself. Eddie was slashing them with his sword, Amy was shooting arrows, Emily was slashing them with her daggers and Ronnie was shooting arrows with his crossbow. Three mandrills were about to attack Emily and Amy until Jackie used his axe to slice them like watermelons.
"Thanks, Jackie!" Amy thanked.
"They don't call me 'the Protector' for nothing!" Jackie said.
Finally, some of the mandrills retreated.
"They surrendered" Eddie said.
"That's right, if you mess with my family, you mess with me!" Amy said as she turned at Emily "Are you okay?"
"Y-You...saved me from that disgusting primate" Emily said.
"So?" Amy asked.
"I thought you hate me since I treated you like garbage!" Emily answered.
"Just because you're so mean to me doesn't mean I have to be mean to you" Amy said "Amy Walker's #1 rule: always help a person who needs help, not matter how kind or how mean that person is!"
"But that doesn't make sense!" Emily said.
"When it's about family, it doesn't matter if it makes sense" Eddie replied.
"The point is, we got rid of those monkeys" Jackie said "Now, where's the boss with the key?"
Suddenly, a stone statue of a man came out from the ground.
"Who is it?" Eddie asked.
"Chief Matoskah" Eileen answered "Ruler of the Southern Frontier"
"What the devil happened to him?" Emily asked.
"Draggoroy must have turned him into stone" Eileen answered taking out her wand and used his magic to turn him back to normal. He looks like Dhalsim from Street Fighter, except he has black long hair and a white bandana.
"Uh...where am I?" Chief Matoskah asked "Princess Eileen?"
"Chief Matoskah" Eileen said, kneeling, "King Draggoroy has taken Innerland and..."
"My people!" Chief Matoskah exclaimed, looking around "What happened to my people?!"
"King Draggoroy did this" Eileen answered "He killed not just the mystical creatures, but the people who stood against him...including your village"
"No...I failed to protect my village..." Chief Matoskah said, in vain.
"But there's hope" Eileen said "I summoned the New Knights of Justice to overthrow him. But we need your key to unlock the ultimate weapon"
"Here" Chief Matoskah said, giving them his key that looks like an eagle totem "Do it...for my people"
"Let's keep moving, we're only halfway..." Eddie said.
Meanwhile, in King Draggoroy's castle; the Griffins went to Meg and Draggoroy.
"Oh, what does the excuse of a family want from their beloved and powerful daughter?" Meg asked, with a very arrogant tone.
"Meg..."
"GODDESS QUEEN MEGARA, YOU C*NT!" Draggoroy demanded.
"We beg you to send us back home!" Lois said.
"*laughing* what part of 'being my slaves for all eternity' didn't you understand?" Meg asked.
"But your baby brother Stewie...!" Lois said.
"If my queen says 'no', it's NO!" King Draggoroy shouted "Now...are you hungry?"
"Oh, yes!" Peter answered "I want orange juice, scrambled eggs, three bacon strips, four blueberry pancakes..."
But King Draggoroy summoned three elephants and three giant bowls in front of the Griffins.
"Wow, are we gonna eat 'elephant' for breakfast?" Chris asked.
"Oh...even better" King Draggoroy answered with an evil smile "Turn around!"
The elephants turned around and they started to...
"Oh no...does that mean we're gonna eat their...?!" Lois asked, horrified and disgusted at the same time.
"FEED THEM, MY BEAUTIFUL GIANTS!" King Draggoroy exclaimed, being hammily over-the-top "FEEEEEEEED THEEEEEEM!"
(A/E: Oh my god, he must be zapped by the Raimi Ray!)
Commercial
Bruce Campbell was promoting a product.
"Hello, I'm Bruce Freaking Campbell!" Bruce Campbell greeted "And I present you the Raimi Ray! A ray gun that the director Sam Raimi uses to make any subtle actor going over-the-top as much as possible!
A live action footage of Spider-Man is shown where Norman Osborn was talking to his son Harry.
Remember Willem Dafoe in Spider-Man?
"You want me to trade in my care for a Jetta just because you flunked out of every private school I ever sent you to?" Norman asked.
*ZAP*
"ZAP! RAIMI RAY!" Bruce Campbell exclaimed, shooting the ray gun.
The scene where the Green Goblen terrorizes Aunt May is shown.
"Finish it!" Green Goblin demanded "FINISH IT!"
"FROM EVIL...!" Aunt May screamed.
Then a scene of Spider-Man 3 is shown where Peter wanted to talk to Harry about what really happened to his father.
Remember how cold-hearted James Franco was in Spider-Man 3?
"Tell it to my father" Harry said, in a cold-heated tone "Raise him from the dead"
*ZAP*
"ZAP! RAIMI RAY!" Bruce Campbell exclaimed, shooting the ray gun again.
The first fight between Peter and Harry, AKA the New Goblin is shown.
"He was trying to kill me" Peter said "He killed himself"
"SHUT UUUUUUUP!" Harry shouted, tearing up a piece of building.
And finally a scene from Oz the Great and Powerful where Oscar and Theodora were in a cave.
And course, how can we forget Mila Kunis's performance in Oz the Great and Powerful?
"You were afraid?" Oscar asked.
"Yes, that something might happen to you" Theodora answered.
"Oh, you're such a nice lady! Little bit of Raimi Ray!" Bruce Campbell exclaimed, shooting the ray gun again...again.
*ZAP*
The climax of the movie is shown.
"I DEFY YOUUUUU!" Theodora shouted as she threw one of her fireballs.
"The Raimi Ray! Why would you need subtlety when you can have a LARGE HAM?!" Bruce Campbell said.
Suddenly the demonic goat from Drag Me to Hell appeared.
"BUY IT OR I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" The demonic goat shouted.
"Eat this!" Bruce Campbell exclaimed, shooting at it with his shotgun "Groovy..."
Warning: the Raimi Ray may causes seizures, vomit, diarrhea and the inability to act like a normal human being.
Commercial's end
Our heroes are now in the Eastern Frontier, which is...a bamboo forest.
"I admit this is a pretty place" Ronnie said "I feel as if my ancestors were here."
"I don't wanna sound racist, but I'm suspecting each frontier has a different kind of people similar to our world" Eddie said.
"What do you mean?" Jackie asked.
"Princess Ofira looks like a Jewish person and Chief Matoskah looks like a Native American." Eddie answered "So, I assume this Frontier has an Asian culture"
"It's not a coincidence" Eileen said "Innerland is basically an alternate reality of your world if magic exists. Because of this, our time in this world is faster than yours"
"One hour in this world is a minute in our world?" Amy asked.
"Exactly" Eileen answered "No matter how old you get, if you come back to the exterior world, you will recover your youth"
"Wow...that's..." Eddie said.
Imaginary Axel appeared aside Eddie, "Just like the ending of Chronicles of Narnia. We are shameless when it comes to parodies, aren't we?"
"This is Family Guy, isn't it? Parodies are kinda our thing." Eddie shrugged in his head.
Suddenly a giant panda appeared in front of the heroes. It had red eyes and a scarred face. It also wears a red and golden Chinese robe.
*ROAR*
"AH!" Emily screamed "A PANDA BEAR!"
"Oh, I love pandas!" Amy said.
"Sis', this isn't exactly a GOOD panda" Eddie said.
"Don't worry, guys, as 'the Protector', I'll protect-!" Jackie said, raising his axe, but the giant panda slapped the weapon out of Jackie's hands.
*ROAR*
The giant panda attacked with a kung fu move, kicking Jackie and crashing against a tree.
"Jackie!" Eddie shouted as he turned to the giant panda.
"All right, mean Kung Fu Panda, you want a martial art fight?" Amy asked, doing a karate stand "Fight me then!"
"Me too!" Emily said, doing a karate stand too.
"Me three!" Ronnie said, also doing a kung fu stand.
The three fought against the giant panda, attacking him with several combos. Unfortunately, the giant panda was fast enough to counterattack. The three seemed tired.
"He's too strong!" Ronnie said.
"Any ideas?" Emily asked.
"Hmm...GOT IT!" Amy answered "Ronnie, do you have a helmet inside your magic bag?"
"Yeah!" Ronnie answered, taking out a medieval helmet.
"Put it on!" Amy ordered.
"What are you thinking?" Emily asked.
"First: I'm gonna toss Ronnie up in the air" Amy explained her plan "Then I'm gonna toss you too. And finally: you kick Ronnie hard enough towards the panda like a human bullet!"
"You have the maddest ideas" Emily said.
"I'm ready!" Ronnie said with the helmet on.
"Come on, step on my hands!" Amy told.
Ronnie stepped on Amy's hands as she used her incredibly strength to toss Ronnie so hard, up in the air. Then she did the same with Emily as she kicked Ronnie like a soccer ball towards the giant panda.
*POW*
The panda got hit by Ronnie, putting him in a daze as he goes down for the count.
"Are you all right, Ronnie?!" Amy asked,
"Whoa...I'm...fine" Ronnie answered, a little dizzy.
"Is he dead?" Jackie asked.
"Let me check his pulse" Eddie answered, stabbing the panda's head with his sword "No pulse"
"That was pretty brutal, dude" Jackie commented.
"He was trying to kill us" Eddie replied.
"Well done, young grasshopper…" Axel complimented…though he looked Asian. He noticed his looks, "Curse that confounded Mortal Kombat movie!"
Suddenly a golden Chinese palace came up from under the ground. They went into the palace where they found the ruler: a midget Asian emperor. He, for some reason, was laughing and moving hands like he was touching something.
"Emperor Ching..." Eileen said.
"What the devil is wrong with him?" Emily asked.
"He's under one of Draggoroy's illusion spells" Eileen answered "Emperor Ching is known to have a peculiar addiction"
"What kind of addiction?" Eddie asked.
"*laughing* Boobies...!" Emperor Ching said as he imagined dozens of beautiful girls in skimpy outfits.
"Oh good, a perverted old man" Eddie complained.
"Hey, watch it. 70% of my elders were perverted old men." Axel threatened.
"You know, we can really do without your commentary." Eddie frowned.
"So, he's the Asian version of my father…great…" Jackie rolled his eyes.
"Please, wake up, Emperor Ching" Eileen said, waving her wand to wake him up.
"Oh, boob-huh?" Emperor Ching asked, waking up "What the...?"
"Emperor Ching..." Eileen bowed "It's an honor to be in your..."
"What happened to my boobie girls?!" Emperor Ching asked.
"King Draggoroy, he did..." Eileen answered.
"Yeah, yeah, just give us the bloody key" Emily demanded.
"NO!" Emperor Ching said "I want to see boobies first!"
"Emperor, this is not the right time to sate your desires!" Eileen said "Innerland is in danger!"
"No boobie! No Key!" Emperor Ching said.
"Big brother, don't tell Mom and Dad about this" Amy said walking to Emperor Ching.
"Amy, what are you doing?" Eddie asked.
"Don't tell Chris about this neither" Amy answered, taking off her breastplate revealing her silky dress "And Jackie, cover Ronnie's eyes"
"Okay!" Jackie agreed, covering Ronnie's eyes.
"I hope they're good enough for you" Amy said, pulling down her dress to show her breasts to Emperor Ching.
"OOOOOOOOHHHHH!" Emperor Ching said with wide-eyes "HERE'S MY KEY!"
He threw his key that looks like a panda to a shocked Eddie for seeing his OWN LITTLE SISTER doing that.
"Holy sh*t…your sis got decent sized knockers. Not as big as Raine, but Chris is one lucky bastard." Axel smirked.
Eddie didn't even dignify that with an response.
"You used to watch Sesame Street..." Eddie whispered, still shocked.
"I don't know, Sesame Street wasn't the same since they released their newest video game" Jackie replied.
Cutaway
Elmo was beating up Big Bird, who's dressed as a hooker.
"Where's my money, bitch?!" Elmo asked.
"I don't know, ask Bern and Ernie!" Big Bird answered as Elmo blew his head off.
"One dead body!" Count von Dracula exclaimed "Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Then Elmo went to a dirty apartment where he found Bern and Ernie having sex.
"Where's my f*cking money?!" Elmo asked.
"What the hell?!" Bern asked as his head was shot and died.
"Two and three dead bodies!" Count von Dracula exclaimed "Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Then he found Cookie Monster, who was getting high with cookie dough.
"So, that was YOU who was spending my money!" Elmo said as he blew his head off.
"Four..." then Elmo shot at Count von Dracula.
"Damn, I need a ride!" Elmo said as he stole Cookie Monster's car to drive away.
Grand Thief Elmo
Rated 'E' for 'Elmo-Haters'
(A/E: Sorry people if I ruined your childhood)
Cutaway's end
Meanwhile, in King Draggoroy's castle; he and Meg were enjoying their luxurious meal.
"Hmm! This is the best food I've ever eat!" Meg said, eating a chicken leg.
"But do not eat too much, dear" Draggoroy "I want you to look radiant for your coronation!"
"Your highness!" Altimore called.
"What do you want, Altimore?!" King Draggoroy asked "Don't you see I'm eating with my future wife?!"
"I do, my lord" Altimore answered "But you have to see this!"
He took out a crystal orb that showed our heroes on their way to the fourth and final key.
"Who are they?" King Draggoroy asked "And why is my traitor sister with them?"
"It seems that she knighted them as the New Knights of Justice" Altimore answered "They're looking for the rulers to give them their keys. They already possessed three of the four keys to open your father's temple"
"I see...Altimore, why did my father trust you?" King Draggoroy asked.
"Because I swore to obey him" Altimore answered.
"And you think you are doing a good job?" King Draggoroy asked.
"Well, I do not mean to show off..."
"Then WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL THEY ONLY NEEDED ONE MORE KEY TO GET THE WEAPON TO DESTROY ME?!" King Draggoroy asked using his scepter to levitate Altimore. Even Meg, despite being mind-controlled, was scared by King Draggoroy's anger.
"I underestimated them!" Altimore screamed with fear "I thought they had what they call 'beginner's luck'!"
"*darkly* Go find them and KILL THEM!" King Draggoroy ordered, throwing Altimore hard against a wall "If you fail me, I will turn you into a statue to spout water for my cutie duckies!"
"Cute duckies?" Meg asked.
"Bloody hell, I revealed one of my secrets!" King Draggoroy cursed "Nevertheless, GO!"
Altimore stood up and left the castle to find our heroes.
"*sigh* It's hard to trust your own servants, isn't it?" King Draggoroy asked.
"Yeah..." Meg answered as the 'mind-controlling power' was starting to wear off.
Meanwhile, in the Northern Frontier, which is a snowy land; our heroes were trekking through a terrible blizzard.
"Why did we choose the hardest place to find the final ruler?!" Jackie asked.
"If I don't complain, why should you?!" Emily asked.
"We're getting close!" Eileen answered "Keep moving!"
Suddenly, the blizzard just stopped.
"Huh?" Amy asked "It disappeared"
"Usually blizzards last much longer" Ronnie answered.
Then Altimore appeared in front of our heroes.
"Hello, New Knights of Justice" Altimore greeted.
"Are you the tyrant king?!" Eddie asked, taking out his sword.
"No, he's Altimore" Eileen said "Our family's noblest counselor until King Draggoroy brainwashed him"
"Let's just say he made me see 'the light'" Altimore said "He and his future queen will rule Innerland for a long time!"
"Future queen?" Eileen asked.
"An ugly face young girl whose family was enslaved" Altimore answered "Two morbidly obese men and..." he took out the pair of Lois's panties he stole from the last chapter "...a beautiful woman with the most exotic scent I've ever smelled in my life"
"Wait...that's Meg and her family!" Eddie said.
"Oh my god, they got Chris too?!" Amy asked.
"Why the hell he has women's underwear with him?" Jackie asked "Is that his fetish? Because, to be fair, I have something with Jillian's bras too"
"Silence!" Altimore demanded "If you want the final key, you have to face off against me and this beast!"
He summoned a four-legged beast made of ice from the snow. Just like the sandworm, it's also CGI.
*ROAR*
"Oh no, a Frost Giant!" Eileen exclaimed.
"And just like the sandworm, made of disgusting CGI" Eddie said.
"What does he do?" Jackie asked.
The Frost Giant charged energy from his mouth and then...
*BLAST*
An ice blast came out from his mouth and our heroes dodged it.
"Did you have to ask?" Emily asked.
"What's the plan?" Amy asked.
"Ronnie, is there a wire in there?" Eddie asked.
Ronnie took a look at the magic bag and he found a chain.
"There's only a chain" Ronnie said.
"Perfect!" Eddie praised.
"What's your brilliant plan?" Emily asked.
"Guys, it's a four-legged beast and we're in a snow land" Eddie said as he winked his left eye.
"* amazed* OH...I don't get it" Ronnie said, confused.
"He means..." Jackie said, whispering Eddie's plan into Ronnie's ear.
"Oh, right...! I still don't get it" Ronnie said.
"Just follow our lead!" Amy said.
"Amy, I need you to throw me to the beast's back where Altimore is" Eddie ordered.
Amy nodded as she prepared her hands, so he can step on them and she pushed him up in the air. He landed on the Frost Giant's back to face off Altimore.
"It's an honor to meet the leader of the New Knights of Justice" Altimore said "We should fight like gentlemen"
"Well, before we fight, I have to admit you have a cool voice" Eddie said "You sound like Commissioner Gordon from the Dark Knight and Lord Shen from Kung Fu Panda 2"
"I have no idea what you are talking about, though I would like to meet that Lord Shen you speak of." Altimore said, taking out his sword "But my king will be pleased to be presented with your head"
"You have to cut it off me first!" Eddie said, taking out his sword.
"Ooh, you're taking charge. I like it." Axel smiled, appearing as a vision once more, "And I didn't need to tell you-"
"WOULD YOU STOP PLAYING OBI-WAN KENOBI?!" Eddie shouted.
"Have at you!" Altimore taunted.
"EN GRADE!" They both exclaimed as they clashed against each other.
Meanwhile, in the castle; King Draggoroy and Meg were watching the fight through the crystal ball.
"You better not fail, Altimore" King Draggoroy said.
Meg saw the duel between Eddie and Altimore; how they both were crashing their blades against each other. But when Eddie tripped and his face was shown. Meg suddenly snapped out of it at the moment she saw Eddie's face.
"Eddie, be careful!" Meg screamed, turning back to normal.
"My beauty, what is going on?" King Draggoroy asked.
Meg looked around and saw everything.
"Am I still in this castle?" Meg asked until she saw her family washing their mouths "Mom! Dad! Chris!"
"Yes, Me-I MEAN, Goddess Queen Megara?" Lois asked.
"Goddess Queen Megara?" Meg asked "Who told you to call me with that stupid name?"
"It was you, my beautiful future wife queen" King Draggoroy answered, kissing Meg's hand.
"Eek! Get away from me!" Meg demanded, disgusted "I have a boyfriend, you know?!"
"What did you say?!" King Draggoroy asked "You cannot treat your husband king like that! Only our slaves are treated like that!"
"Slaves?" Meg asked, looking at her family wearing the slaves outfits "Did I do this?"
"NO!" Lois said, nervous "You were just doing the right thing"
"God, would you shut up?! We been punished enough in this fic already!" Chris groaned.
"Yeah, you didn't get mind-controlled by that psycho king" Peter said.
"PETER!" Lois scolded.
"You did WHAT?!" Meg asked, turning to King Draggoroy.
"But dear, I gave you everything you wanted" King Draggoroy said "The only thing I ask you is you to be my wife"
"No-freaking-way!" Meg said "And Eddie is the only one who can call me 'dear'! Come on, guys! Let's find my friends and get the hell out of here!"
"Oh no, YOU WON'T!" King Draggoroy said, raising his scepter to levitate her "*darkly* You will pay for your insolence..."
Eddie kept fighting, but despite his swordsmanship, he found himself on the ground...or rather the beast's back.
"You fought well, Knight of Justice" Altimore said "But alone, you cannot defeat me and take this beast down"
"Alone, sure" Eddie said "But with help..."
Altimore looked down and he realized the Frost Giant was getting his legs' tangled in chains by the team until it was finally took down.
"STAAAAAR WAAAAAAARS!" The Frost Giant roared in agony, as he fell to the ground.
The beast's fall knocks off Eddie and Altimore. Eddie landed on the soft snow, while Altimore misses it…by dropping off the cliff, meeting his doom.
"Bro, we did it!" Amy cheered.
"You all did it, my brave warriors!" Eileen praised "Now, may the last ruler should be revealed"
A frozen person came out from the snow; it was an old lady wearing a Norwegian-style green-blue winter dress with pink tulips.
"Queen Florasven" Eileen said, using her wand to melt her down.
"Oh...what happened to me?" Queen Florasven asked with a Norwegian accent "Milady, it's so good to see you again"
"Queen Florasven-"
"Blah, blah, blah, tyrant ruler, blah, blah, blah, we're here to save everyone, blah, blah, blah, give us your key" Emily said.
"Oh, okay" Queen Florasven said, giving them the final key, which it looks like a tulip.
"We did it, guys!" Eddie said "We have the four keys!"
Suddenly, the four keys started to shine and they transported our heroes to an empty black space until a light revealed a golden door with four locks in front of them.
"This is it, brave warriors" Eileen said "The previous king's temple where resides the weapon to stop Draggoroy.
Amy, Emily, Jackie and Ronnie inserted the keys and the door was opened. It revealed an empty room with sunlight illuminating a golden sword with a red dragon head-shape sword handle lying on a pedestal.
"This is the Sword of the Flaming Dragon" Eileen said "It was formerly wielded by the previous king when he was killed by the dragon. Only a warrior with a heart as strong as the gold that surrounds it can own it. That warrior is you, Eddie"
"Me?" Eddie asked "Look, I wanna show Axel I can be a strong guy, but..."
"No, 'buts', big brother!" Amy said "You wanna save your girlfriend and her family?! Then go ahead and take that sword!"
"Yeah, man, don't be a pansy!" Imaginary Axel declared.
"Okay, okay!" Eddie agreed "Geez..."
He looked at it carefully and he slowly grabbed the sword. Suddenly the sword started to shine as his body was covered by an aura. When the aura was ceased, his outfit was changed: he was wearing a red armor that looks like Hermos's from Yu-Gi-Oh! (Orichalcos Saga or Season 4) in his human form, except the helmet looks like a dragon head.
(A/E: Wow, I've been doing a lot of Yu-Gi-Oh! references in this chapter)
"I wonder how many people remembers season 4?" Imaginary Axel mused.
"Shut up, imaginary Axel." Eddie grunted.
"Whooooaaaaa..." Ronnie said, amazed.
"I cannot believe it..." Emily said.
"This is the coolest armor I've ever seen in my life!" Jackie exclaimed.
"Yeah, I actually look like an Anime character" Eddie said "Ha! Now I can make Axel not only jealous, but making him piss his pants!"
"Unlikely. It would have to take a lot more than that to make me wet my pants!" Imaginary Axel grunted.
"Oh, no?" Eddie smirked, "You are in my head…"
Axel's eyes widened, "Oh crap…"
Imaginary Axel disappeared in flash.
"That should shut him up for now." Eddie smiled.
"Remember: use the power of this sword to relieve him of his dark scepter" Eileen explained "It's his power source. Without it, he's defenseless"
"Okay, easy enough" Eddie said.
"Do NOT underestimate him" Eileen warned "He shows no mercy towards anyone who stands against him..."
Meanwhile, in the king's castle; King Draggoroy pushed Meg away.
"I thought you were the queen I was looking for!" King Draggoroy said "But you turned out to be an ungrateful bitch!"
"Okay, I'm done being the damsel in distress!" Meg said, ripping off some of her dress (revealing a little of her bloomers) for more movement and unsheathing her sword "You're going down!"
"Oh my god, Meg is gonna kick some ass!" Peter said, excited.
Meg charges towards King Draggoroy, but he used his scepter to protect himself and pushed Meg away.
"Goddamn it!" Meg cursed.
"And she got her ass kicked..." Peter said, disappointed.
"You actually thought you could take a fight against a GOD KING?!" King Draggoroy laughed, "You don't even know my backstory..."
"We don't really care" Peter said.
"All my life..." King Draggoroy said.
Flashback
We see a young Draggoroy training hard with a wooden sword as the previous king was watching him.
I've been dreaming about the day I would become the next king of Innerland. But the imposter king, who's also my traitor sister's father, never saw my full potential. Of course he didn't! He wasn't my real father and he never will be!
Then we see the young Draggoroy begging for help from some mysterious elves. They helped him seal his parents, the king and the queen, away into a big green crystal while his half sister ran away.
But then I met them: the most powerful creatures of Innerland, who trusted me with their almighty scepter. With it, I became unstoppable and I ruled Innerland under my terms!
Flashback's end
"Look, I understand what you're feeling, I TRULY do" Meg said, making her family feel ashamed "But trust me when I say: being mad at your parents forever doesn't make you a better person"
Suddenly, the crystal ball was dropped from Draggoroy's pockets and it was activated: it shows our heroes with Eddie holding the sword like a true warrior.
"No...NOOOOOOO!" King Draggoroy screamed of anger "WHO THE DEVIL IS THAT TWAT HOLDING THE SWORD OF THE FLAMING DRAGON?!"
"That 'twat' is my boyfriend!" Meg said with a satisfied smile "In other words: you're in BIG trouble!"
King Draggoroy, having enough of Meg's cockiness, used his scepter to capture Meg in a golden cage.
"Don't you want to be a princess?" King Draggoroy asked "Then you will be the princess in distress!"
"Uh...look it at the bright side, Meg!" Lois said, trying to make her feel better "Princesses sell better!"
Commecial
It shows a doll of 'Princess Meg' along with the the golden cage.
You can have the Princess Meg doll for just $19.99! (The golden cage is sold by separately)
Commercial's end
Meanwhile, our heroes were in the village where King Draggoroy's castle is. The townspeople were mind-controlled zombies working hard as slaves.
"Oh my god, did King Draggoroy turned these people into zombies?" Eddie asked.
"Ah, no duh." Imaginary Axel sighed.
"He doesn't care about the people, he just want them to give him good stuff" Eileen answered.
"I'd hate to be a slave" Ronnie said.
"We don't have much time" Eileen said "Let's go to the castle.
They reached the castle, ready to stand against him.
"Okay, this is it, I'm gonna fight to save my girlfriend, her family and this kingdom" Eddie said.
"You mean, WE'RE gonna fight, big bro'" Amy corrected.
"Ame-I MEAN...Amy, about saving me from that disgusting monkey...thank you" Emily thanked "And forgive me for being such a bitch to you"
"Hey, I know you were acting like this because of your dad" Amy said.
"I want you to be my friend...to be like a sister" Emily said.
"Me too!" Amy said.
"So...friends?" Emily asked, offering her hand.
Amy not only accepted the hand, she have her a strong hug.
"Forever and EVER!" Amy said.
They did their friendship salute:
Amy and Emily:
Sparkles! Sparkles!
Sunshine! Sunshine!
Lady bugs please make us SMILE!
"I'm proud of you, girls" Eddie said "But now we have a tyrant king to overthrow!"
King Draggoroy was patiently waiting for his opponent. Suddenly...
*BOOM*
The main door of his castle was destroyed as our heroes entered.
"These bombs are the BOMB!" Jackie cheered.
"If my mom would see me with one of these, she would die" Ronnie said.
"Well, well, well...here is my traitor sister and her group of friends" King Draggoroy said.
"Shut up and tell me where Meg is!" Eddie demanded.
"Over here!" Meg called, still trapped in the golden cage.
"Release her..." Eddie growled.
King Draggoroy let out a sigh and released Meg from the cage. Meg went towards Eddie and hugged him.
"I missed you so much!" Meg said.
"Me too, babe" Eddie replied.
"CHRIS!" Amy exclaimed looking at Meg's family and went to kiss Chris several times.
"Why I have the feeling this happened before?" Lois asked.
"Let's go home and forget about this-"
But then she was knocked out by King Draggoroy, leaving her unconscious.
"MEG!" everybody screamed.
"BWA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!" King Draggoroy evilly laughed "Look at you: you failed to save your princess..."
"You...BASTARD!" Eddie angrily shouted swinging his sword, which released a fire cutter.
King Draggoroy, in slow-mo, jumped backwards as he used his scepter to cut off the flames and protect himself.
"What the bloody hell?!" Emily asked.
"Eddie has unleashed the powers of the sword" Eileen answered.
"This...is fire of a dragon" King Draggoroy said "My father sacrificed his soul to seal the dragon inside of this sword. The question is: are you able to control it?"
"Why don't we find out?!" Eddie asked, preparing his sword.
"Let's do this sh*t!" Imaginary Axel cheered.
Then King Draggoroy summoned 7 flying black gremlins and attacked Eddie.
*Gremlins laughing*
But he cut off their wings as they ended on the ground. But the evil king made the gremlins to fuse all together and they became a big dark warthog!
*ROAR*
The warthog was about to tackle him, but Eddie easily stabbed it and it turned into flames. It became a delicious cooked warthog, so the Griffins can eat them.
"This is REAL food!" Chris cheered.
"Yeah, no more elephant's..." Peter said as Lois covered his mouth.
"Don't even say it, Peter!" Lois ordered.
"I am impressed, Walker" King Draggoroy praised "You proved to me you're worthy of wielding my father's sword. Unfortunately, my scepter was made by the almighty elves. In other words: I'm more powerful than you!"
"You won't defeat me!" Eddie shouted, stabbing the ground, which caused to create a fire wave.
King Draggoroy tried to protect himself, but he was still affected by the flames.
"Eddie, remember you just have to knock the scepter out of his hands!" Eileen reminded him.
"No! I'm gonna kill him!" Eddie said "He has to pay for his atrocities!"
Eddie let out a war scream as he and King Draggoroy engaged and started sword fighting (at least just Eddie since Draggoroy used his scepter).
"What happened to my brother?" Amy asked.
"Yeah, he doesn't look like himself" Jackie answered.
"He became scary..." Ronnie commented, hiding behind Emily.
"The power of the sword is very powerful, yet very dangerous" Eileen explained "If Eddie let out his emotions while using this sword, he becomes more aggressive. If he doesn't control it, I don't know what could happen"
"You know, what I hate about the stories with Anime-like concepts are the boring and pointless expositions" Peter said eating a warthog rib "Mighty power, blah, blah, blah, very dangerous, blah, blah, blah, show us more awesome fight scenes"
"This is not an anime, Peter" Lois said.
Suddenly, King Draggoroy used illusionist tricks to multiply himself, so Eddie couldn't see which one is the real one.
*King Draggoroys laughing*
Eddie started listening voices in his head.
*Sarah Stone voice* All this training for nothing!
*Caroline Black voice* My life was already difficult, you know that? But then you had to come and made it impossible, right?
*Albert voice* You're just like your father, Walker: insolent, arrogant and very WEAK
*Axel's voice* I f*cked your mom anally…
"What? I had to get him pissed. That butler is real good with his tongue."
"ENOUGH!" Eddie shouted, doing a fire tornado around.
"Oh sh-" Imaginary Axel yelped, before being wiped away by the tornado, causing him to disappear.
That made the clones disappeared and knocked King Draggoroy back...and disarming him of his scepter. Everybody was astonished by such incredible power that Eddie displayed in this battle. Unfortunately, Eddie's face became different: he had dragon-like golden eyes, sharply teeth and spiky hair like a Saiyan.
"Eddie, it's your chance to take the scepter!" Amy said "Eddie?!"
But Eddie wasn't listening since he was approaching Draggoroy. He pointed the sword at him.
"No, wait!" Draggoroy begged "Have mercy!"
"*distorted voice* Mercy is for the weak..." Eddie said, darkly "People like you don't deserve mercy..."
"Wow, Meg's boyfriend is very f*cked up right now" Peter commented.
"Oh my god, I should have bring a camera!" Chris said.
Then Meg slowly opened her eyes and saw an evil Eddie prepared to kill the young king.
"Now...you will DIE!" Eddie said, raising his sword to kill him once and for all.
"EDDIE, STOP!" Meg screamed, quickly standing up.
*echoing* EDDIE, STOP!
Eddie heard Meg's voice as his face suddenly changed back to normal and stopped the attack. He turned around to see Meg. Meg slowly took a few steps and then she ran towards her boyfriend to give him a hug.
"No more fighting!" Meg said, crying on Eddie's shoulders.
"That's right, Meg, people shouldn't fight...not like this" Lois said.
"*crying* Not like THIS!" Peter cried, but then he suddenly stopped crying "What am I saying? That fight was awesome!"
Eddie dropped his sword and saw how the weakened Draggoroy was trying to reach his scepter. But Eileen took it and suddenly the scepter's dark purple orb turned blue for some reason.
"My elvish powers has purified the dark powers of this scepter" Eileen said "Now tell me: where are my parents?"
Draggoroy pointed at the roof with a blue hexagonal symbol. Eileen shot a beam at the symbol and a couple trapped inside of a crystal appeared.
"My mother Queen Ellevin and my father King Edagorth..." Eileen said.
"*laughing* 'Edagorth'? Sounds like barbarian gay porn!" Peter said as Lois smacked him "OW!"
"Do not worry, I'll release you!" Eileen said, shooting a beam to release and make them appear on the floor.
The King was ginger and he has long hair and beard. He wears a brown and red medieval outfit and a black cape. The Queen was brunette, she has a ponytail and she wears a green dress.
"Ugh...dear...what happened to us?" King Edagorth asked.
"I have no idea" Queen Ellevin answered.
"Mother! Father!" Eileen exclaimed as she hugged them "I missed you both!"
"Sweetheart, do you know what is going on?" King Edagorth asked as Eileen pointed at Draggoroy.
After Eileen explained everything to her parents, Draggoroy was handcuffed as he was confronted by the king.
"Draggoroy, your actions had lead this land into times of death and suffering" King Edagorth said "Do you have anything to say in your defense, son?"
"Don't call me 'son'! You're not my father!" Draggoroy answered "I deserve to be king! Everything was perfect until the bastard of your daughter made this pathetic group of knights to overthrow me!"
"Silence!" King Edagorth ordered "You leave me no choice, Draggoroy. You will be banished to another world where nobody has to suffer for your insolence and pride!"
"I will not forget what you did to me, you fools!" Draggoroy said "I will have my revenge!"
"Farewell...son" Ellevin said with a very sad tone.
"I will have my revenge, mother" Draggoroy asked "I will have my revenge!"
"Okay, we got it!" Peter said, getting annoyed.
"I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Draggoroy shouted.
"JESUS!" Peter cursed "What an annoying little twat!"
"I KNOW!" Imaginary Axel agreed with him, before realizing something, "Oh right, you can't hear me."
(A/E: Sorry, Raimi Ray effects)
King Edagorth used the scepter to perform a spell and a portal wormhole appeared to make Draggoroy disappear for good.
"Just for the record: I didn't sleep with him" Meg said.
"Hey, I believe you" Eddie said.
"But I saw his tiny penis for a second when he pissed on Chris" Meg said.
"He did WHAT?!" Amy asked, outraged "Bring him back, so I can give him a good spank on his butt!"
"Eileen, bring us the scepter" King Edagorth said, giving her the scepter.
Eileen went outside and shot a beam at the sky. The magic of the scepter was dispersed all over Innerland: snapping out the townspeople's minds, resurrecting the four frontiers' population AND the mystical creatures. We see the horses of the castle hanging out with a beautiful pony and a beautiful unicorn who suspiciously look like Bon-Bon and Lyra Heartstrings from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
"So...this kingdom called 'Equestria' is as awesome as every pony said?" Horse #1 asked.
"Hey, as long the rulers are four beautiful Alicorn princesses and not a dick-head boy, what could possibly go wrong?" Horse #2 asked.
"Well, I heard Princess Twilight fought against a red centaur called Tirek" the pony said.
"Dragon Ball Z style" the unicorn said.
"Whoa..." the horses said, quite impressed.
...
They celebrated with a wonderful party: Chris and Peter enjoying the fest, Amy and Emily funnily dancing while Meg and Eddie romantically dancing, even Ronnie and Jackie were telling their quest to some kids (possibly children from royal lords).
Eddie left Meg for a few moments to get something at the refreshment table…then suddenly, something caught his eyes: Imaginary Axel…dressed as Anakin Skywalker.
"Axel...why are you dressed like Anakin at the end of 'Return of The Jedi'?" Eddie asked "And why the one played by Hayden Christensen?"
"Search me. I guess it's your mind telling me that my work here is done." Imaginary Axel shrugged "Also, Christensen is not a bad actor, Lucas is a bad writer and director"
"I won't argue with that" Eddie said "But, did you even do anything?"
"Uh yeah. Who was the one that taunted you so you could go bat-sh*t on the mandrills, Altimore, and Draggoroy?"
"I don't get why you were doing that though." Eddie admitted.
"You will…in time. But may I say this…you did well, Edward Walker. You had shown that you are capable of being as awesome as me, and for that I salute you." Axel smiled, as he gave him a salute.
"Wow…thanks, Axel…so…what are you going to do now?"
"Well, I am just a figment of your mind, so I guess I will fade away…" Axel whispered, as he did fade away.
Meanwhile, in our world, back in Quahog…
The real Axel wakes up from his bed at Tracy's apartment.
"Whoa…what a weird dream…me, complimenting Wimpy Walker?" Axel said to himself, before scoffing, "Yeah, when pigs fly…"
He then just fell back to sleep.
Back in Innerland.
After the party; our heroes decided to go back home with Eileen's help. But before they were leaving, Eileen gave Eddie a very special gift: a small blade that looks similar of his sword with a collar to carry on his neck.
"What is it, Princess Eileen?" Eddie asked.
"The Sword of the Flaming Dragon, but in a smaller form" Eileen answered "Pronounce the oath and it will turn back into the tool that freed this land."
"Wait, I don't want this sword" Eddie said "I don't care if I'm stronger than Axel anymore"
"But it belongs to you" Eileen said "You must protect it for the rest of your life"
"*sigh* all right" Eddie agreed, taking the sword.
"I'll open the portal for you" Princess Eileen said, taking out her wand to open the portal.
"This is it, guys" Eddie said "Our friends and families are waiting for us"
"Actually...we are not going back" Meg said.
"WHAT?!" everybody gasped, except the Griffins.
"You're kidding, right?" Eddie asked.
"HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!" Amy laughed "You're such a comedian, Meg"
"Actually...she's not kidding" Lois said with a serious tone, making Amy stop laughing "We decided to live here, so we can fix our broken family"
"No!" Eddie said, not believing it "That's INSANE! What about Stewie or Brian?!"
"Tell my baby that Mommy loves him and tell Brian to take care of him" Lois said.
"LET ME STAY WITH YOU THEN!" Amy exclaimed, hugging Chris.
"No, sweet cupcake, your life is with your family" Chris said.
"Meg, are you out of your mind?!" Eddie asked "What spell did Draggoroy put on you?!"
"None, Eddie" Meg answered "This is a decision I made on my own. I know I'm being selfish...but for the first time of my life, I think I know what is right"
"* tearing* please, come with me!" Eddie said "I love you!"
"I love you too, Eddie" Meg said, giving him a pink handkerchief "But...I'm afraid this is over. It was wonderful while it lasted"
"Guys, the portal is ready" Eileen said.
"I promise I will NEVER date another girl" Eddie said.
"Me too!" Amy said "But with a guy since I'm not a female gay"
"You mean a lesbian" Jackie said.
"Good-bye...Griffin family" Eddie said with a very sad tone.
Eddie, Amy (who's crying like a baby), Emily, Jackie and Ronnie entered the portal to go back to their world.
"Meg, are you sure about this?" Lois asked "You may never find another guy like Eddie"
"Mom, for me: the most important thing of my life is my family" Meg said.
"Oh, Meg!" Peter said, giving her a hug "I promise to be the best father of all time!"
"Me too!" Chris said "...wait, that doesn't sound right"
"This is the beginning of a fresh start for all of us" Meg said, looking at the sky.
The Griffins decided to live for the rest of their lives and they lived happily ever after.
The End...
...
One Year Later
The Griffins were riding on their horses. They barely changed a little, but at least they're wearing medieval versions of their outfits. They ended on the forest where they came to Innerland.
"Family, I think I remember this place" Meg said, apparently she now has a British accent "This is where we ended up in here in the first place"
"Oh yeah, it's been a year, but I remember it as it was yesterday" Lois said.
"Remember when we were a dysfunctional family back in our world?" Peter asked.
"Yeah, we were horrible people" Chris said.
"But you know what?" Meg asked "I kinda miss being a dysfunctional family"
"What?" Lois asked "But Meg, you always wanted to have a loving and caring family"
"I know...but maybe that's how we were best" Meg said "I mean: while other families try to be perfect, we didn't mean to be perfect. We pushed the boundaries that no family has ever done before and that made us special"
Suddenly, a wardrobe appeared in front of the Griffins.
"Meg, look!" Chris said.
"Oh my god, it's the old wardrobe!" Meg said "Does it still work?"
Meg opened and entered to the wardrobe as her family followed him. And then...
They both ended on the empty room of the Oldman mansion, wearing the pajamas they wore before they entered...and they're one year younger...not too much difference.
"Ugh...my head" Meg complained as she looked up and saw...EDDIE!
"Meg!" Eddie exclaimed.
"Eddie!" Meg exclaimed too "Oh my god...after an ENTIRE year, you refused to forget me"
"Well, your entire year was only 6 days for me" Eddie said "We were about to leave and I only came back to this room one last time"
"Brother, we need to go!" Amy said, with her suitcase until she saw Chris "CHRIS!"
She hugged him and kissed him in the lips.
"I missed you too, babe" Chris said, smiling
"What made you change your mind?" Eddie asked.
"Well, I missed my old life and I guess I wished to get it back" Meg answered "So, here we are!"
"Hey, what the deuce is going on?!" Stewie asked until he saw Lois "Oh no..."
"STEWIE!" Lois cheered, hugging her baby "I MISS YOU SO MUCH!"
"Really?" Stewie asked "Because I didn't miss you...AT ALL"
"Hey, where have you been?" Brian asked.
"Long story" Meg answered "But, I'm ready to back to normal, right Dad?"
"I don't know if I can still be that ass of a father, Meg" Peter said.
"Come on, give it a chance" Meg said.
"Uh...Meg, you suck" Peter said.
"Meaner" Meg said.
"You suck ass?"
"What are you? Danny Tanner from Full House?" Meg asked.
"A castrated monkey would be better daughter than you, because you know what?" Peter asked "Who cares?! Your fandom isn't as strong as it used to be! It doesn't matter if I bash you in the most mean-spirited! It does't matter! Nobody is gonna miss you when you die!"
"Okay, I think that's enough" Meg said.
"No, no, no! I'll keep going!" Peter said "One day your boyfriend will have a sex-change and leave you with a celebrity. Then you'll commit suicide and we'll bury you next to Hitler where nobody will bring you flowers. In other words..." he farted on her face "SHUT UP, MEG!"
Peter and Chris laughed as they gave each other high five.
"Damn, it feels good!" Peter cheered.
"My god, what have I done?" Meg asked, regretting her decision.
"*laughing* Meg is a stupid bitch!" Stewie said.
"So, we have learned nothing from this?" Brian asked, smoking a cigarette "I can live with that"
They went down to see Frank, Helena, Jackie, Jillian and Emily waiting for them.
"Hey, you guys!" Frank greeted "You guys are really good on hide-and-seek"
"Wait, didn't you see we...? Never mind" Lois said.
Then they found that the Oldman family weren't very pleased.
"Don't...you...ever...come back" Sir William said with a bitter tone.
"Mother would be ashamed of you" Helena growled.
"Whatever, I don't need this bloody family!" Emily said, hugging Amy's arm "I'll be happy with my new family AND MY BCBFF!"
"HUH?" everybody asked.
"'Best Cousin Best Friend Forever" Amy answered.
"Did we miss something?" Meg asked.
"It's also a long story" Brian answered.
Finally, both families were in the airplane. Meg and Eddie were silently sitting together.
"Eddie, may I ask you something?" Meg asked, breaking the silence.
"What is it?" Eddie asked.
"Were you serious when you told me you'll never date another girl?" Meg asked.
"*sigh* I was willing to move on...but I just couldn't forget you" Eddie answered.
"Me too, in fact: I never fell in love with anyone in Innerland when I was living there" Meg said "Not even sex"
"WHAT?!" Eddie asked "You had a YEAR and you didn't even hang out with someone else?!"
"What did you expect? She's Meg" Peter commented, laughing.
"Oh yeah, I also wrote a love letter just for you!" Meg said, with a smile.
"Give me that!" Peter said, taking the love letter and tearing it apart "AHA! Now it's gone!"
"Actually, that was your birth certificate" Meg said "PAY BACK TIME!"
"Wait, no, no! NOOOOOOO...!" Peter screamed, disappearing.
"So...are we back together?" Meg asked.
Eddie saw Amy and Chris making out.
"Well, if our younger siblings could do that...yeah, of course!" Eddie answered.
They both kissed.
End of the Chapter
(A/E: Sorry for the long chapter. I promise next time will be shorter.)