A/N: Thank you for the reviews and communication. I love it! I love to hear from you about what you thought. Things will slow down now, at these ages, and we will watch this family move forward through the ups and downs, as always.

As always, I would love to hear from you. Your support means everything!

Sincerely,

Patricia

Chapter Thirty-Six:

Victories, Setbacks, and Undying Support

December 29

"Has the jury reached a verdict?"

Juror Number One stood, clasping a single piece of paper in front of her, "We have, your Honor…"

"Will the defendant please rise?"

The ginger-bearded man rose, in shackles and an orange jumpsuit, greasy hair in a ponytail, along with his defense attorney, A.D.A. Derek Strauss. The defendant had been on suicide watch and in solitary confinement for the past two weeks, his behavior having been less that acceptable with everyone he came into contact with—fellow inmates, guards, cafeteria personnel, and even the nurses in the prison infirmary.

Alex and her client also stood, the blonde's eyes flitting briefly to the defendant before returning them respectfully to Judge Hashi Horowitz.

The judge questioned, "Jury…on the charge of aggravated sexual assault in the first degree, what say you?"

"We find the defendant, Leroy Rochelle Baskin…guilty."

A collective sigh from the gallery as Alex put her left arm around her client, squeezing her shoulder gently, feeling her relax slightly, a soft sigh escaping her mouth. She turned and saw her smiling, eyes tearing, still staring ahead. This had been a long and difficult case, and hearing the journey's final verdicts was always one of the most satisfying events in the life of a trial.

The judge continued, "On the charge of attempted manslaughter in the third degree?"

"We find the defendant…not guilty…"

Sharp intakes of air could be heard spreading throughout the courtroom now—some elated, some shocked—crying and laughter simultaneously.

But it was now over. Justice for her client's brutally traumatizing rape had been served.

Judge Horowitz thanked the jury for their service, told them that court was adjourned, and then pounded his gavel before people began to disperse from the courtroom now, a low buzz of excitement and disappointment, people moving, doors opening, light chatter having begun.

Alex couldn't help but smile as she looked in the direction of her client, Jennifer Martel, once again, before turning fully. She placed her left hand on Jennifer's shoulder and squeezed it firmly, still smiling. "Congratulations, Jennifer…"

Jennifer grabbed Alex and took her into an appreciative hug as she whispered against her shoulder, the towering blonde feeling her tremble beneath her as she held her firmly.

"Thank you, Mrs. Benson-Cabot…" she pulled away holding Alex's upper arms, "…thank you so much…" Jennifer's eyes filled with tears.

"You are than welcome, Jennifer…it was my pleasure to represent you…"

Jennifer looked toward her mother and father and sister and brother, who had come to support her during this three-week trial, and then moved toward them and began hugging them, turning briefly and smiling at her attorney once more before the Martel family began walking slowly toward the open doors, off to celebrate their win.

The trial had taken them through the Christmas holiday, the blonde getting Christmas Eve and Christmas day off, at least, but then she was right back in the courtroom—hours spent listening to testimony, questioning witnesses and family during gruelingly long days, all of the heated emotions that were typical during a rape trial—some days that weren't over until, sometimes, ten and eleven o' clock at night.

Alex grabbed her attaché from the floor, the well-worn leather satchel leaning against the leg of the prosecution table, and took her navy blazer from the back of her chair. She smiled to herself and adjusted her glasses before moving towards the aisle, stopping in her tracks as she watched Mr. Baskin being led from the courtroom, his arms jerking, trying to escape the courtroom officers' grasp, needing three of them to control his anger and his overpowering strength. Normally the court officers would take the guilty from the courtroom straightaway, but Mr. Baskin was offering his typical aggression and resistance, as they attempted to pull him through the door leading to the back way to the shuttle that would lead him back to Rikers.

With her blazer and case in hand, she looked up just before they led him from the room, and he offered an angry sneer in her direction. "Bitch! You'll get what's coming one day…" he growled.

Alex only let the gloating smirk dance lightly on her face—attempting to withhold the full-out grin that she wanted to express so very badly—but she continued to remain ever-professional and only smiled. "And you, sir… just got yours…"

He attempted to lose the clutches of the three officers once more, his body bucking like a reared-up mare, before they forcefully pulled him through the doorway, and the blonde attorney watched as the door closed behind them, his fight to get free strong until the end.

Alex let out a breath, jacket now draped over her forearm, leather briefcase slung over her shoulder, as she followed the last of the crowd from the courtroom and began walking towards the elevators.

"Alex…" a familiar voice approached from behind.

Alex turned to find Liz Donnelly right behind her, in a black pant suit, electric blue power blouse beneath it. "Hey, Liz…" she smiled broadly.

"Congratulations. I heard you really nailed that son-of-a-bitch…"

Alex nodded, now holding her attaché's handle with both hands in front of her. "One more piece of filth off of the street…"

Liz leaned into the blonde, a slight smile on her face, "And plenty more where that came from…how about a celebratory drink? Lena and I were just headed off to Parnell's Pub…it's right on your way back home, right? We would love if you joined us…"

Alex looked at her watch—4:38 p.m.—and then back at Donnelly, "It is on the way…I think maybe I could have one drink to celebrate…but I need to call Olivia…she had the day off today…"

"Of course…" Liz smiled, "...do what you need to…meet you there?"

Alex nodded, "I'll see you there in about thirty…" Alex took her phone from her jacket pocket and slid her forefinger across the screen.

Liz began walking away, but turned slightly, and offered over her shoulder, "See you there…oh, and tell Olivia 'hi' from me…"

"I will, Liz…see you at Parnell's…" Alex double pressed the bottom center button as she began toward the elevators, "Call, Liv…" she said firmly. The phone began to dial on its own. Alex put her phone to her ear as she stepped inside the elevator that was already open when she approached.

It rang two, three, four times before a breathless voice answered. Her wife sounded winded, "Hello? Hello? Sorry…hey, Babe…"

"Olivia? Everything OK?" The doors of the elevator opened and Alex stepped out and began walking towards her office.

"Yeah…I had my headphones on and was on my hands and knees scrubbing our porcelain throne…the phone was on the bed in the bedroom…how'd did it go? What was the verdict?"

"Guilty on rape in the first, but we didn't get him on attempted manslaughter."

"But you got him…" Alex could hear Olivia smiling through the phone, "That's my Baby…nice work, Al…coming home soon? I'll bet you're ready to really relax…"

"Uh, yeah, Liv…" Alex entered her office still smiling as she envisioned Olivia cleaning the toilet—that adorable sight already emblazoned in her mind—and moved to shut her laptop down before slipping it inside of her laptop bag as she spoke, "Liz and Lena have offered their congratulations and want to buy me a drink at Parnell's on my way home…I told them just one…"

Alex pressed the speaker function and set her iPhone on her desk and she began to put her long woolen, camel coat on and button it, black scarf and leather gloves, as well.

Olivia laughed, "One drink, my bodacious backside…last time it was one and then one more and then one more…and the next thing I knew you were ringing the front doorbell, being held up by Fin and Lena like Weekend at Bernie's, not even coherent enough to find your house keys right in the side pocket of your purse."

The blonde slung her laptop bag over her shoulder, along with the other things she needed to take home for her three-day weekend. "Those martinis were strong, Liv, and…that won't happen, Olivia…" Alex dug in her coat pocket for her office keys, "…I told her one drink, only…besides, Isabel's dress rehearsal is tomorrow afternoon, then her performance tomorrow night and then the Sunday matinee, and I promised I'd stay with her tomorrow…Grace and Theo both have soccer games…then Theo's guitar lesson and Grace's cello lesson…" Alex turned the lamp off, "…and I don't want to be feeling like crap with all we have to do this weekend. I guarantee…it will just be one. You'll hear me come through the garage at six-thirty…you have my word." Alex smiled as she closed the door to her office and locked it, now weighted down with her leather attaché, her laptop bag, lunch bag, purse, and large duffel full of paperwork.

Being Friday she was not only glad the case was finally over, but also ecstatic that it was the weekend and she could finally relax and spend time with her family. Alex walked the short distance down the corridor leading to the car garage and pushed the bar on the gray door open to the cold, damp expansiveness, noting it was about half as full as it normally was, as the echo of the door slammed behind her with a clamor.

"OK, Al…say 'hi' to them for me…this glamorous wife is about to take out her aggression on the shower tiles and bathtub, then I've got a little case work to do, too…see you soon?"

"Absolutely, Liv…see you soon…love you…"

"And I love you, Al…"

The line disconnected and Alex pressed the button on the Rover's remote, the headlights illuminating and the locks popping up, as she moved toward the car, opened the back seat, threw her things in, shut it, got in the front, and headed to Parnell's to celebrate her victory.

"Well, it seems that our little Alexandra Cabot hasn't lost her touch. What's the score now?" Petrovsky held up her new glass of scotch on the rocks.

"In the past year? 32, 37…" Alex held her own, first glass of the same elixir up, her own now halfway gone. As promised, she was sipping on this first, and only one, slowly, while the other two ladies were already on their second.

"Impressive, Alex…thirty-two wins out of thirty-seven? Definitely calls for another drink…" Liz signaled to the bartender for one more for Alex, her own glass still raised in a toast, "Here, here! To Alexandra Benson-Cabot, still a bad ass in the courtroom!" Liz offered.

Glasses were clinked, sips taken.

Another drink was set in front of the blonde.

"Oh, Liz…no more for me…Olivia is expecting me home…in…" Alex looked at her watch, "…about fifteen minutes…"

Lena made a whipping sound and motion and Alex couldn't help but smile.

"Absolutely, Lena…since day one…" Alex smiled, taking a small sip from her glass. "And proud of it…I pined for her, waited for her, found her again, and vowed to never let her go. So, if that makes me whipped…so be it…I'd do absolutely anything for her…" Alex's eyes glazed over as she looked down at her wedding and engagement rings, her fingertips lightly cradling her drink glass, "…absolutely anything…"

Alex was feeling the whiskey. She rarely drank hard liquor anymore and this one drink was hitting her harder than usual.

"We're proud of you, of everything you've accomplished, Alexandra…and those gorgeous, amazing children…what a wonderful witnessing over the years. You and Olivia Benson…mothers together. And not only that, two of the best mothers and parents I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and witnessing. Simply beautiful." Lena smiled.

"Any future attorney's?" Liz questioned, taking Alex's full drink, obviously knowing the blonde wasn't drinking it.

Alex took a deep breath, smiling, "Well, Gracie seems to enjoy the environmental part of law…anything to do with the Earth or the ocean or animals and their defense…"

"Oh, no…she said defense…not prosecution…" Liz giggled, leaning into Lena and shouldering her. The older woman was very obviously already tipsy.

"Theo is interested in music and music theory and soccer and water sports, but he does so well in school and likes so many different subjects, I think it's gonna be hard for him to choose in a couple of years. He might go the engineering route, though…Liv and I have a feeling…"

"And your mini you?" Lena smirked.

"Izzie?" Alex smiled, looking down at her glass as she wiped the beads of condensation in a downward motion. "Isabel is so much like me, it's not even funny sometimes. If you want the feisty side of me…look no further than Isabel. But…" Alex looked up now, still smiling, unable to keep from doing so when talking of the loves of her life, "…Izzie likes the arts…anything that has to do with using herself for performance…ballet, tap, hip-hop, singing, acting…she's our future celebrity…and we've encouraged her so much…she loves it…" Alex's eyes glazed over once more and it suddenly struck her, once more, that she needed to go. "Hey, girls…" She looked at her watch—6:18. "I really gotta go…" She stood and downed the last sip of her scotch and then put her coat, gloves, and scarf on. "Thank you for the drink…and I want to invite you two for dinner soon…maybe after New Year's. Deal?" Alex smiled as she slung her purse cross-wise over her body.

"Sounds like a deal, Alexandra…say 'hi' to Olivia for us, give those wonderful children a hug from us, and you take care, OK?" Lena offered.

"I will…thank you…"

Hugs were had and then Alex made her way out of the bar, out into the frigid December evening, on her way home to see her wife and family.

Alex couldn't fight the emotions that were rising up inside of her. She was exhausted, she was elated at the winning the case that had taken so much time and energy.

And it had all been worth it.

As the attorney drove down Park Avenue slowly, the traffic was light, yet noticeable, on this Friday evening, watching the blanketed snow piled up along the sidewalks, Christmas lights strung everywhere in their post-celebratory glow, the various lights in buildings, townhouses, and apartments lit up, people inside living their lives, she couldn't help but feel the joy rise up inside of her as she headed home. There was no other feeling like winning another case and the fact that she could celebrate it with the ones that meant the most in her life, only added to her utter and complete bliss.

Ellie Goulding's sweet soprano voice sang How Long Will I Love You, the blonde's mind kept drifting to her wife, her family, and how very blessed she was in life. For the billionth time since she and Olivia had been back together, had said I do, the blonde silently said a prayer, thanking God for the wonderful blessing that was her life.

OOO

Olivia adjusted her new Dre. Beats headphones that she had gotten from the kids for Christmas, on her ears, listening to music that she didn't dare to listen to out loud, Certified Freak by Baby Bash. With a case file on her lap and an ACE bandage wrapped tightly around her knee, three throw pillows beneath it, she was now icing it after her housework. Being on her knees for so long that afternoon, it had really begun throbbing. The following day was her once-every-three-weeks injection, and she needed it badly. After the exertion she had done that day, and with the cortisone shot finally wearing off after almost a month, it was now time to rest it and treat it with a little TLC.

The brunette's eyes scanned the document stapled to the manila file folder, as she chewed a large pink wad of Isabel's bubble gum from the pack that had been lying on the kitchen counter, and she couldn't help but shake her hips as she perused the file. Softly, she began to sing, "I like the way she movin' on me…I like the way she twerkin' on me…I like the way she move to the beat…and shorty, she a certified freak…" Olivia leaned to her right and took her pen from the coffee table, and clicked it open, continuing to let her body move to the beat, "…I liiiiike…..the waaaayyyyy…" She continued to move her hips, head bopping to the beat, now marking the documents with the notes "TWO YEARS AT THIS ADDRESS" in all caps, and circling it numerous times. "I like the way she workin' on—" In Olivia's peripheral, a body entered it, the brunette jumping only slightly, not having heard anything but the loud bass through her headset.

She looked up and full-on at her wife standing there in front of her and she smiled, removing the headphones, setting them back on her neck, and sitting up simultaneously.

"Sorry, Babe…you were so intense…so into the file…" Alex moved to sit next to her on the sofa, "…and the music apparently...I like the way she twerkin' on me?" Alex questioned, smirking at her wife.

Olivia reached for her wife's waist with both hands, smiling, her body jostling with laugher, still chomping away on the fruity gum, "Yeah, Babe…twerking…you can twerk, my love…and don't even pretend you can't…"

"My twerking is reserved for the privileged…not for all…"

Olivia squeezed her hips more firmly, "So I'm privileged?"

Alex nodded, "Absolutely…" She leaned in for a simple kiss, lingering for a moment, before pulling away, "I'm so glad to be home…where are the kids?"

"Congratulations, by the way, Al…you deserved that win, as hard as you've been working the past few weeks…"

Just then, Isabel came in and walked directly up to Olivia, leaning over the back of the sofa. "Hi, mom…" she said to Alex before she proceeded to lean in and cup the brunette's ear with her hand, and whisper, "The flowers should be here in about an hour and Theo's driving us to get the cake from the Whole Foods Gourmet…"

Olivia smiled as their daughter pulled away, "OK, Baby…yeah, you can wear my black cashmere sweater…just don't get a hole in it…"

"Thanks, Mama…" Isabel walked around the sofa, up to Alex, and kissed her cheek quickly, "Bye, Mom…" before turning and going back upstairs.

Olivia just looked at a smirking Alex, both studying the other.

"I won't even ask…" Alex offered, now removing her navy blazer and placing it over the arm of the sofa on her left. She turned back around and looked down at her wife's leg now, placing a light hand on top of the ice. "Hurts?"

Olivia nodded, trying to be positive about it, "Yep…but…I was on it, kneeling, a lot today, Babe…tomorrow is the shot in the morning, eight o'clock, and then I'll be good to go for another three weeks…" She smiled.

Another song came through the headphones that were sitting on the brunette's shoulders now, Fetty Waps No Days Off, Olivia recognizing the bass line right away.

"Your new headphones…they're nice, aren't they?" Alex offered. "The kids were so excited to give those to you…good sound?"

"Yeah, Al…listen…" Olivia removed them and placed them on her wife's ears, watching as Alex listened, her eyes never leaving the brunette.

Alex began slowly moving her head to the beat, her smile growing, keeping her eyes on her wife.

"We're going, Mama…" Theo said softly from behind Alex, the blonde too in her own world, not having heard their son. Isabel and Grace were on either side of him, all three in coats and scarves and hats and mittens.

Olivia nodded, smiling at her wife, trying not to make it look like their children were standing right behind her, "OK, be careful, Theo. Keep your cell on…" Olivia smiled at Alex, the blonde continuing to bop her head to the beat, her arms now in the air, eyes closed.

Her wife was really into it.

"I like this!" she said more than a little loudly. "It's good! Who is it?" she yelled.

Olivia giggled and reached forward taking the head phones from her wife's ears. "Fetty Wap…good, right?"

Alex smiled and began lightly tickling her wife's thighs below the open folder. "Yeah…good…wish I could dance with you…" She smiled and leaned forward, kissing the brunette gently. "But…I know your knee needs rest…" Alex turned her head towards the kitchen now, sniffing the air, "Something smells wonderful…"

Olivia smiled, "Always one of your favorites, Babe…Autumn Harvest stew with chicken and squash and potatoes…in the crock pot, cooking all day, just for my brilliant lawyer wife…"

"I'm gonna go change…I see you're comfortable…" Alex eyed Olivia's ensemble of faded jeans and a red, crew neck cashmere sweater, dark gray slipper boots on, her hair in a high, messy ponytail. "I'm gonna get comfortable, too…" Alex stood and stretched, "I'm gonna sleep well tonight, Babe…no worries to have running through my mind…just happy to be home for three days…"

"Go ahead, Al…I'll be here…dinner when the kids get back from the store. If you need anything, Theo's cell is on…"

"And the girls?" Alex took her blazer from the arm.

"With him…"

"Such trust…"

Olivia cocked her head, "I still worry, Al…I won't say I don't get extremely nervous when he's out there on the road, especially when it's all three of them, but…we have to begin to trust…you know? At least the Whole Foods Gourmet is only five blocks away…"

"I know…" Alex admitted softly, her eyes glazing over briefly before snapping herself out of it. "OK…I'll be back down in a second…"

"I'll be here…" Olivia winked, watching as her wife turned and headed down the hallway, out of sight.

AAA

They had surprised Alex with a cake that night and Olivia's special dinner, a huge congratulatory bouquet of her favorite flowers delivered just before dinner to celebrate another courtroom win. The blonde had been pleased, emotional, and had become weepy with happiness with the gesture as the family celebrated together.

The following morning, Olivia had her injection, Alex and the kids with her for the small procedure, and then they all went to Theo's soccer game at nine, then Grace's at eleven, and then Olivia took those two home while Alex took the Isabel out for lunch before going to her dress rehearsal for Into the Woods before the big show that evening.

Isabel loved Thai food, just like Alex and Olivia did, and so they decided to go to one of the family's favorites—and Olivia's before they got married—called Jaiya, located on 2nd Avenue, just a couple blocks from home.

Chicken and shrimp pad Thais had already arrived and two Thai teas, as well, mother and daughter having discussed show times and the run-down of how the day would go. It would be a long one, apparently. Isabel had a dress rehearsal at three, which lasted an hour and half to two hours, depending on how things went, then the first performance was at seven. The entire Benson-Cabot family would be in attendance that evening to watch Isabel's first major role as Cinderella.

Alex forked some rice noodles and looked at her daughter, who was already quite into the food. "So, Iz…you ready? You feel good?" Alex popped the forkful into her mouth.

Isabel nodded, "Mmmm, hmmm…" She chewed and swallowed, wiping her mouth. "We've been practicing since August so I know my lines and all of the choreography…" Isabel took a sip of her Thai tea.

Alex treaded softly as she thought about her next question, "You and Alison still friends?"

Isabel smiled, "Of course, Mom…why wouldn't we be?"

Alex chewed, eyeing her daughter's blue eyes as she smiled at her, those teeth now fixed and worthy of many smiles and photographic opportunities. Isabel looked beautiful and so much like Alex that the blonde couldn't help but watch her, almost mesmerized.

"What, Mom?"

Alex shook her head and returned to piercing a shrimp with her fork, "Nothing, Baby…you just…you remind me of myself, so much, Iz…"

Isabel smiled, "Everyone says I look just like you…grandma, grandpa, Mama, Uncle Johnny…"

Alex nodded, "Because you do, Baby…it's almost like seeing myself when I talk to you…it's almost a little weird…" Alex grinned. "So you and Alison are still friends…that's good…are you still more than friends, Izzie? I know you wanted to be more…" Alex popped another bite into her mouth, chewing and leaning back, awaiting her daughter's answer.

"Define more, Mom…"

Such an Alex Cabot statement, Alex mused.

The blonde attorney smiled again and reached for her straw, sipping the spiciness away with the coolness of the coconut milk in the tea. They had ordered them extra spicy and her mouth was currently ablaze with heat. She sat back again, "I know it's hard, Baby…don't forget I went through it, too…being attracted to girls…"

"When did you know?"

Alex looked up at the ceiling, briefly thinking, and then back at her daughter, "I knew probably about the same age you did…twelve or thirteen…but things were different back then, Iz…it wasn't accepted. So, I hid my feelings for other girls for a long time…"

"How long?"

"Years…I had a lot of close friends in high school, but none were gay…and if they were I didn't know about it…then I got to college and I decided I would be who I really was…I started dating girls and realized how much I enjoyed their company…"

"Did you kiss a lot?"

Alex nodded, "I did…I dated a lot of different girls in college and law school, then I graduated and became a lawyer…" Alex popped a piece of zesty chicken into her mouth.

Isabel sat, chewing, awaiting more history from her mother.

"Then, I went to work for SVU and I met your Mama…everything changed for me then…I knew it was love by the way I felt when I looked at her, the way my heart fluttered when I was around her, how I melted and felt so comfortable when I talked to her…"

Isabel smiled, sipping from her drink once again. "So you found Mama when you were how old?"

"I was twenty-eight, Iz…"

"And Mama was…?"

"She was thirty-two…"

"And you thought she was beautiful?"

"I did…the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life…I still think so, Baby…"

"Mama is beautiful…did she think you were beautiful, too?"

"She says so…still says so…" Alex smiled, pushing her plate slightly away and leaning back, pulling her glass closer now, fingering the straw.

After a few moments of Isabel finishing up and a comfortable quietude, Isabel finally spoke, those baby blues piercing into her own, "What's all the way with another girl?"

Alex fought to keep her expression unfazed, "Well…I suppose it's when…" She reached for her drink and took a sip before clearing her throat. "You know what all the way is with a boy, right?"

Isabel nodded.

"Well with another girl would be when you or she does that, too…" Alex felt the uncomfortable flush creeping up from her chest to her neck and across her cheeks. She knew she must have looked quite embarrassed.

"Then I haven't gone all the way…not yet…"

Alex let a breath go, slow and long, trying not to let her relief show. She nodded, "OK, Iz…maybe you're not ready…you've got time, Baby…you're only fifteen…plenty of chances to find the right one…"

Isabel smiled, "Maybe twenty-eight will be the magic age, like it was for you?"

Alex laughed along with her daughter, "Maybe so, Isabel…maybe so…"

OOO

Olivia gripped the sides of the bathroom sink, her knee spasming, her body trembling as the pain radiated up and down her leg as her wife showered. She took a deep breath, trying to even out her heart rate.

"She was so amazing, Liv, wasn't she?" Alex declared loudly from over the sound of the running water.

Olivia found her voice, "Yeah, Al… a natural…the drama teacher told me, after the show, that Izzie could get a scholarship to Columbia University, right here in New York, with her talent…" Olivia closed her eyes, feeling the pull in her knee, the knife jabbing, jumping with every beat of her accelerated heart rate.

Fuck, Olivia mouthed to herself before looking up and into the mirror at her strained expression. They had woken up on this Sunday morning and the brunette detective almost couldn't put any weight on her leg. She had lain in bed, while Alex slept, trying to bend some life into it, as was typical in the mornings, but a horrendous clicking sound happened with every movement, as she tried to remain quiet and not have her wife worry.

The shower shut off and Olivia fought to remain casual, to have just another normal Sunday morning with the family. She reached for her toothbrush and layered it with paste before shoving it into her mouth and adjusting her robe ties with her left hand, looking at herself once more. Her face was perspiring slightly from the ache, the pain more intense than anything she had felt so far.

"That would be incredible, Liv…just...hopefully, she won't end up on a cruise ship somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, performing Disney songs for the rest of her life…" Alex smiled as she opened the glass shower door and reached for the large bath towel draped over the top ledge of the glass door and wrapped herself in it. "Liv?"

Olivia continued brushing but couldn't stop her eyes from welling with tears as Alex approached and placed a hand on her back, rubbing gently.

"Jesus, Baby…you're flushed…and sweating…"

The brunette removed the toothbrush for a moment to speak, trying a smile. "Just seeing you coming out of the shower, Al…still does it to me…"

"Olivia…come on…" Alex's expression was unyielding, absolute concern spread across that porcelain face.

Olivia moved to sit on the lid of the closed toilet, finding only slight relief in this action.

"The shot isn't working this time, is it?" Alex moved closer, tucking the corner of the towel into her cleavage.

Olivia shook her head, still brushing. She spoke around the brush, "Not this time, Al…"

"I'll get the crutches from the garage…" Alex moved, almost in a panic, into the bedroom as Olivia watched her, still desiring to sit a few minutes longer and collect her bearings.

When the foam in her mouth overpowered her, threatening to spill from her mouth, she stood again, hopping to the sink and spitting and rinsing before wiping her mouth with a face towel. "It's OK, Al…" Olivia tried, now limping into the bedroom, watching as her wife began to dress hastily. "Baby…slow down…" Olivia moved to her side of the bed and sat, rubbing her face with both hands, watching as Alex continued dressing, sliding her jeans upward and buttoning and zipping.

"We're going back to Dr. MacDowell tomorrow. I have the day off and we're going first thing…"

Olivia nodded and opened her nightstand drawer, removing the pills that she hadn't taken since August, and setting the bottle on the surface. She was hesitant to take them again, and knew her wife would be, too. But with as much pain as she was in, she needed to get through today and then they would go and schedule the inevitable.

She knew exactly what the doctor would say. There was no doubt in her mind.

Alex slipped on her glasses from the top of the bureau and then moved into the closet now and got herself a sweatshirt—her pink I Love New York item—and slipped it over her head, her blonde locks still dripping from her shower and beginning to wave as they started to air dry. She then went back into the closet and came out with a stack of clothing for her wife—a pair of gray lounge bottoms and a matching hoodie, and then set them next to her on the bed.

"Here…let me help you…" Alex rubbed her wife's shoulder soothingly.

"I can do it, Al…I don't…I won't…be a burden or a cripple, Alex…" The frustration rose inside of her now as she snatched the sweat pants from the bed and leaned forward to slip her feet into the leg holes, her knee pulling from bending it so sharply. She took in a sharp breath of air and moaned at the discomfort. "Fuck…" she whispered before standing and pulling them upward, keeping her weight off of her leg.

She removed her robe and laid it on the bed before slipping the hoodie on and zipping it.

She sat again and looked out of the bedroom window at the snow falling in powdery silence. "When I have this surgery, Al…I want to be as independent as I can…"

She watched as Alex nodded from her peripheral.

"I don't want any 'poor Olivia' happening, either…"

"I know, Liv…" the blonde said softly. She moved to kneel in front of her wife. "But I will help you with whatever you need, in your own time, when you need it, OK?" Alex took her hands into her own and rested them on the brunette's thighs.

Olivia looked at her wife now, noting the mist in those cerulean orbs. "Don't, Babe…please don't cry…It's just gonna be hard for me to be so…immobile for weeks on end. You remember when I was injured in the warehouse? I went stir crazy…and that was just three weeks…"

"I remember, Liv…my Wonder Liv hates stagnancy and being cooped up…"

Olivia moved a lock of damp hair from her wife's cheek, noticing the waves in her hair were even more pronounced now. "But…like you said…it'll all be OK…it'll just take time, right?" Olivia smiled, still trying to be strong.

"Yes, Baby…it will take time but look at the support crew you have on-hand…" Alex smirked. "If I were you, I'd take full advantage of being waited on hand and knee by your wife and children…"

Olivia couldn't help but smile at the thought. "Come here, Babe…"

Alex leaned forward and clenched the brunette's waist before she wrapped her loving arms around her, the two finding themselves in a comforting embrace.

"I love you, Olivia…and we can do this…you can do this…"

"With you by my side, Al…I can do anything…"