Goodbyes On The Balcony

by ByeByeBirdie

3 years after Hogwarts, James and Lily are back with old and new friends by their side. Their lives are motivated by fear, their world surrounded by immense danger. As they each fight for their lives and for their loved ones in a world centered around Voldemort, the struggle to survive the war against him is nothing compared to the struggle to survive the wars within themselves.

35. Of Laughs, Ministry Events, & Stakeouts

A/N: Slowly, this story is starting to wind down. I've written it all out and am now just in the process of editing and reworking some of it. I'll be the first to admit that I actually wrote most of this story when I was in a pretty sad and dark place in my life and it's clear that that's reflected in parts of this story. This certainly is drastically different from Tears or Kisses. Those were about the build-up to a relationship and the deep, meaningful friendships and the integrity and frankness behind true love. This story is a lot less about relationships and more about what the war is doing to each and every one of them. Will it work out for them in the end? Some of them, yes. Some of them, no. And if you feel invested in this story, I implore you to keep reading to find out who in this story falls in either of those categories. If you're getting bored or annoyed or depressed and you can't continue reading, that is your prerogative. I appreciate the feedback and am using it to edit the rest of this story as I am very well aware of how dark it has gotten. So please do continue providing me with your reviews and feedback - you guys make me keep writing this story!

Oh and for those who are still enjoying this story, here is a VERY LONG chapter for you to enjoy some more!

Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling but I just finished her novel that she wrote under a pseudonym and am once again aware of how awesome her writing skills are.

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Goodbyes on the Balcony

Chapter 35: Of Laughs, Ministry Events, & Stakeouts

By ByeByeBirdie

---

++PETER++

It had been great hanging out with the Marauders again, just the four of us. James wouldn't go into any more detail about why he was hanging out with Riley, but Remus and I could both tell he felt conflicted about it. I didn't bother pushing it. I had a feeling that no matter what I had to say, James would make his own decision about her. I just wondered what Sirius would have to think about it.

I know that I had been avoiding the guys recently but ever since the attack on Potter Manor (and specifically James Potter) went terribly wrong according to Voldemort's plan, the guilt had been filling me up far too much to hang around the people I knew I was betraying. I often considered just running away or going into hiding to keep myself away from Voldemort, but I knew I would never be able to find the courage to do so. As I headed back to my apartment that evening I just hoped that I could keep my friendship with the Marauders for as long as possible before it all blew up in my face.

That was probably wishful thinking.

"Peter."

I emitted a loud squeak, trying to catch my breath as I whirled around to face one of the scariest women I knew. "You really need to stop coming by my apartment, Bellatrix," I said in a small voice.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not about to reveal myself to any of your ridiculous friends, Pettigrew," she sneered. "That would kinda ruin the whole you-being-a-spy thing, don't ya think? Now c'mon, the Dark Lord has requested your presence."

"Now?"

She glared at me. "When he requests your presence, you don't question him, Pettigrew!"

"I'm…I'm not," I muttered. "I'm questioning you."

Her glare grew more intense. "When the hell did you grow enough balls to talk back?" she snapped. She grabbed my arm and before I could even attempt to protest, the wind was knocked out of me as we apparated.

I really hated when she did that.

I wasn't surprised to be apparated into the library of some dark manor to find myself face-to-face with Voldemort. I would have been secretly glad that no other Death Eaters were there but I was too scared shitless to be able to think about anything except making sure I got out there alive.

"Peter," Voldemort's gruff voice greeted me. "You've been a hard man to find lately."

"I've…I've been busy," I whispered, willing myself not to look up at him as I fixated on a stain on the carpet.

"You can't hide from me. Or did the deaths of Wyatt Potter and Regulus Black not prove that enough for you?"

"I'm not hiding. I'm…I'm not going anywhere," I squeaked.

He chuckled menacingly. "Good boy," he said with a malicious smile. "Now on to business."

"Business, Lord?"

"Word is that the Evans girl has moved on to someone else already."

"Uh…yeah."

"Do she and James Potter think me for a fool?" he hissed.

I had no idea how to answer that.

"As if her dating someone else could actually make me believe that James Potter doesn't still fawn over her like a pathetic puppy?"

"Um…"

"Speak, Peter!"

"I-I don't know wh-what's going on with them," I stuttered in a hoarse whisper.

"LIES! I brought you into my circle because of your connections to the Potter boy. If you don't start providing me with answers, I think you know what comes next for you."

I was literally two seconds away from peeing in my pants. "I-I don't think they're planning anything," I blurted out. "Not together anyway. Th-they really seem to be br-broken up."

"Well then they're playing you for a fool, too, Peter, and you're falling for it. But I won't fall for it. No one plays Lord Voldemort for a fool!" he snapped, his voice sending chills down my spine. "Bellatrix, we have some planning to do. You're dismissed, Peter."

"Lord, wh-what are you going to do?"

"I said you were dismissed," he snarled, glaring at me as he set his sights on Bellatrix.

I may have asked but I knew I didn't have to. James and Lily were going to be killed. And there wasn't anything I could do about it unless I wanted to be next.

---

++RILEY++

I hated when there was a knock on my door because nowadays, I hadn't a clue who to expect behind it. Was it Sirius to give me another earful? Was it James to continue to confuse me, wondering if he was going to forgive me or if he was just playing games with me? Was it Lily who was using me as a distraction from her own life? Was it Kay to hate on me some more? Or was it Rhett who I loved so much and yet felt guilty towards because I had never wanted him to get caught up in this drama?

That night, nearing midnight, it happened to be Rhett. But out of all of the options, I would take him in a heartbeat.

I smiled at him and fell into his arms. "I hate when you go on business trips," I whispered, resting my head against his chest. I hadn't seen him in four days and it felt like too much time apart.

He led us both back into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. "I'll quit my job tomorrow," he whispered, a hint of a smile on his face as he kissed the top of my head.

"Good," I responded, stepping on my tiptoes to press my lips against his.

"I missed you," he whispered between kisses, guiding me back towards the couch as his hands made their way into my hair.

Our tongues tangled together as I nodded. "I missed you, too," I murmured, pushing him down on the couch while never letting our lips part.

We sat there like two schoolchildren, snogging relentlessly. Even two years later, he still made my heart race. He always made me feel safe and secure in a world that was so unpredictable. Even now as the turmoil has amplified with the recent addition of my friends' frustrations towards me, I felt as if none of it mattered as long as I had Rhett by my side.

"What have you been up to while I've been away?" Rhett eventually asked later that night as we sprawled across the couch naked in each other's arms.

I hesitated, glancing up at him. "I hung out with Lily a few times. She's dating Shane Redford."

"What? The old Head Boy from Hogwarts?"

I nodded. "Yeah, they work together now."

Rhett frowned. "Last I read, she and James were still together. When did that end?"

So much to tell him. I decided not to go into too much detail because I didn't want to betray James, or even Lily. "He told her he didn't love her anymore back in January."

Rhett didn't respond so I turned to look up at him. Shock was resting in his eyes. "It's been four years for them," he said softly. "What went wrong?"

The war. I didn't say that. I simply shook my head. "I don't know but James has been going through a lot lately. He's lost a lot of good people in his life and I think he just feels lost."

Again, there was silence coming from Rhett before he said, "Have you been hanging out with James, too?"

I slowly nodded. "Not much but a little bit. I think both he and Lily are looking for a change or…just something that doesn't remind them of their relationship. It's why they are the only two that have reached out to me I think."

"I-I can't even imagine what they're going through," he murmured, kissing the top of my head. "They must really be hurting. And they're lucky to have you to stand by them. Even after so many years, you're a good friend to them."

I glanced up at him, shocked. I thought for sure he'd feel uneasy about all of this and here he was praising me. I sat up to face him. "I don't know about that considering the way I left in the past," I muttered, resting my chin against his chest.

"They're the ones that are coming to you, Riley," he whispered, pressing his lips against my forehead. "They wouldn't be doing that if they didn't appreciate your friendship."

I didn't respond immediately, pondering the last couple of days I had spent with James and Lily. It was clear that the only reason they were seeking me out was to hide away from the lives they had once had together. "No, they wouldn't be doing that if they were still together."

He lifted my shin so I was forced to look at him. "That's not your fault though, Riley," he whispered, kissing my nose. "You're just there for them during a tough time. Don't focus on the why. This is what you want, right?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that because of course it was. Had I expected to gain back some of my friendships? No. But I was so glad that Lily and James were giving me a chance. The only problem was it was a chance I didn't deserve. "Yeah," I whispered. "But I don't deserve their friendship."

He hesitated. "You can't change the past," he whispered, pressing his lips to my temple. "I know that you'll probably never forgive yourself for what you did, but that doesn't mean your friends won't be able to."

"That's the thing," I murmured. "I don't really think they've forgiven me. They're just using me as a distraction from what's going on in their lives right now. And I just…I can't help but feel guilty."

"Hey," Rhett said, brushing a strand of hair from my face. "Riley, listen to me. What happened to them wasn't your fault. You can't beat yourself up over it. You leaving didn't cause this to happen. And you coming back didn't cause it either. Maybe you feel as if it shouldn't be you they turn to after how you left, but you're the one they're choosing to be around. Just be there for them, Riley. That's all they clearly need right now.

I knew he was right. He always was. I stretched my neck out in order to kiss him, resting my forehead against his. "Sometimes I wondered what I did to deserve you."

He smiled, framing my face with his hands. "The ironic part is I wonder the same thing about you every day."

I felt a slight blush peak to my cheeks. He still always knew what to say to make me feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. "Can I ask you something?"

"Always."

"Are you really okay with me being friends with Lily and James again?"

He was clearly taken aback by the question. "Why...why wouldn't I be okay?"

I frowned. "You know why."

He met my gaze and sighed. "Just tell me one thing, Riley."

I nodded, knowing what he was about to say.

"Are you happy?"

Okay, maybe I didn't know what he was about to say. "What?"

He smiled. "All I want for you is to be happy. It's been just you and me for so long now. But we're back in your hometown and your old friends are here. I would never want to take them away from you if you want them in your life."

"You're the one I want in my life," I said softly, a smile on my lips.

He chuckled. "It's not an all or nothing kind of thing, Riley."

I nodded hesitantly, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room. "What about Sirius?" I said curiously.

I felt him stiffen under my touch. "What about him? Seems to me this conversation has consisted of only James and Lily."

"It does," I agreed. "But I think you and I both know he's kind of an extension of them."

He shrugged. "Are you hanging out with him? Is that what you're saying?"

"No," I spoke. Unless him berating me counted as hanging out. "And I don't want you to think I am either."

"I know you'd tell me if that was the case," he spoke, looking at me curiously.

This is the part where I should have told him of all of the various run-ins. But I merely smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

---

++JAMES++

I couldn't stop thinking about Lily and Shane. She was allowed to date other people considering what happened between us, but I never knew such pain in my heart before. It was like a thousand knives stabbing every atrium and ventricle inside my heart and waiting for it to stop beating. I tried to ignore it, but it was impossible. All I could see were the two of them snogging in his office and the two of them dancing at the Valentine's Day gala. I couldn't get the image out of my head no matter how hard I tried.

So I did the only thing I could that Tuesday night. I went over to Riley's. Why? Because I knew she'd be the only one who wouldn't ask me about it. I felt guilty as I apparated, wondering what the hell was wrong with me that I was so quick to turn a blind eye to how she left. She left. My best friend for eighteen years thought of no one but herself (and maybe a little bit of Sirius) and walked away from so much more than fear of commitment. She and I had been through everything together. Everything. So much heartaches and tragedies and sorrow. And in one panicked moment, she took all of that away from us. From me.

But here I was once again filled with so much heartache and sorrow and dealing with too many tragedies. And in an odd sort of self-destructive way, I just wanted her by my side. Because she had been one of the few people who had always understood when I wanted to talk about something and when I wanted to ignore it. And tonight, I wanted to ignore it.

"James," Riley said, shocked when she opened the door to find me standing there.

"I brought wine," I said with a slight smile.

"Well, then come on in," she laughed, gesturing me into her living room.

I froze when I saw Rhett sitting on her couch. "Rhett."

He smiled awkwardly at me. "James."

We looked at each other as I tried to find any semblance of words.

"It's been a while," he said.

I nodded. "I didn't mean to intrude."

"You're not. We were just going to throw on a movie. Care to join?" Rhett asked with a hopeful smile.

It was either that or go home and get consumed by thoughts of Lily. I came to Riley's because she would know not to mention Lily. She knew to steer clear of any conversation regarding her and I appreciated it. Everyone else wanted to know how I was doing or wanted to offer their opinion, but it just made me feel worse. With Riley, I could ignore the present as we regaled the past. With Riley, it was just the two of us and we were being transported back to our childhood when there were no relationships and no war. With Riley, I felt safe. I always have.

Okay, maybe I was just trying to hide from the present but it's what I needed and I knew Riley would give that to me. Was I being a complete naïve idiot? Yes. But as everyone was so keen on telling me since I told Lily I didn't love her anymore, I was an idiot.

"As long as it's not a chick flick," I teased, holding up the wine. "Where are the glasses?"

He reached for his wand and summoned three glasses. "Casablanca. Apparently it's a classic."

The movie went on but we didn't watch much of it. I had come to use Riley as a distraction but most of the night was spent catching up with Rhett oddly enough. I couldn't help be curious about him. I wanted to hate him. For two reasons. One, because I hated that Riley was happy when the rest of us weren't. And two, because I knew how much Sirius was still hurting over the way Riley had left and it wasn't fair that she found love again when Sirius couldn't.

And maybe a part of me did hate him. But I was there that night to distract myself from a certain redhead and he was giving me that ability. So I couldn't hate him completely.

"You proposed in a hospital?" I laughed, shaking my head. "How romantic."

"It was," Riley teased, elbowing me. "Watching someone you love holed up in a hospital bed being poked and prodded by Healers galore actually draws those surrounding her closer together."

My heart pained for what they were going through. And yet I smiled at the way Rhett reached over for her hand instinctively. "If there is one thing I know it is that hospitals certainly do make love stronger," I murmured.

They met my gaze and I saw the pity unmistakable in their eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear about your mother, Rhett," I continued hastily. "That can't be easy."

"Watching people you care about die never is," he said, locking eyes with me.

I winced, all of it too much. "This is a very depressing subject. I'm sorry I even asked about the proposal," I said with a teasing smile.

They both laughed and I was grateful that we were blowing past the depression.

"He didn't even have a ring," Riley said with a snort, winking at her fiancé.

"I got you one eventually!"

"Two months later," she teased.

"I can take it back if you'd like," he teased back.

"And be a bachelor for life?"

"Eh, I'd find someone else."

"Not likely with your snoring."

"I don't snore!"

"Babe, you snore."

He hesitated. "Well, you do, too," he muttered.

She smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder. "I guess we are just two peas in a pod," she whispered and my heart ached at the love they had for each other as he wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I guess we are," he agreed with an adoring smile.

I had to turn away, their relationship reminding me so much of the one I used to share with Lily. Constant teasing out of pure love. The thought hit me harder than I would have liked to admit. And here I thought being there would distract me from thoughts of Lily I drowned my sorrow in more wine.

"So," Riley said, turning to look at me, "dare I ask why you decided to show up on my doorstep tonight? Not that I mind."

I frowned, glancing at the black and white actors on the television and suddenly wishing I had one of their lives. "Tomorrow is Valentine's Day," I found myself murmuring.

Riley blinked. "I hate to break it to you, Jamesie, but I kinda already have a Valentine."

I shot her a look but couldn't help but crack a smile. "First of all, I told you not to call me that. And second of all, that's not why I'm here."

"Sorry, Rhett's taken, too."

I laughed, slapping her lightly with a throw pillow. "No, I just...needed a distraction. That's all."

"Is it because tomorrow is also a certain someone's birthday?" Rhett blurted out.

I froze and so did Riley.

Rhett cringed. "I didn't mean to say that aloud."

"No, but you're right," I sighed. "Out of habit, I found myself waltzing into a florist shop today and buying one red rose."

Riley's look softened and the smile on her face slowly faded. "It's what you got her for your first Valentine's Day."

"And every year after."

No one was saying her name but that didn't change the fact that we were talking about her.

"She's dating Shane Redford," I blurted out.

I saw the two of them exchange a look though I couldn't read it. "The Head Boy," Riley spoke softly. It wasn't a question.

I nodded.

"That can't be easy for you," she spoke softly.

I could only shake my head.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" she asked curiously.

"Lots and lots of booze."

"You going out with the guys?"

I frowned, recalling the last conversation I had with Sirius. I had gone over to his apartment earlier tonight but found myself unable to knock on his door. Because he had every right to be mad at me. Sirius didn't take well to betrayal but considering the amounts of betrayal he has had to deal with in his lifetime, it didn't come as a surprise. And I didn't have a good argument as to why he should forgive me so instead of trying to get him to do so, I found myself at Riley's instead.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Sirius isn't exactly my biggest fan right now, Remus said he didn't want to be around anyone, and Peter has been avoiding all of us lately though I'm not sure why."

I saw the gleam in her eyes dull. "Sirius isn't your biggest fan because of me, am I right?"

"No, it's because of me," I murmured.

"Dammit, I am so tired of everyone not blaming me," she argued, the anger coming out unexpectedly. "I-I wouldn't have come back if I knew the problems it was going to cause."

I turned to look at her. "You knew the problems it was going to cause, Riles," I said softly. "You can't pretend that you didn't."

She frowned, glancing over at Rhett who was looking at her curiously. "I know," she said. "But if I pretend that I didn't, then I don't feel so guilty for how much I screwed up."

"Does that really work?" I dared to ask.

She turned away from Rhett and stared at the rim of her wine glass. "No."

Rhett drew her close to him, kissing the side of her face and I smiled at the two of them. Riley had certainly grown up. "Do you remember when we were younger and everything was just so much simpler?" I murmured.

"Yeah," Riley sighed. "No war, no relationships, no hate. Just kids having fun."

"God, I can't remember the last time I had fun," I said with a teasing sigh.

"We're adults now. We're not allowed to have fun," Rhett interjected with a smile.

"Gee, that makes me feel so good about myself," Riley pouted overdramatically.

Rhett hesitated and I saw a sly smile creep on to his expression. "Let me rephrase: we're adults now. We have different ways of having fun," he said suggestively, pressing his lips into the nook of her neck.

The three of us laughed at the implication and I was suddenly very aware that this was the first time I laughed in a long time and meant it.

I had to find a way to get Sirius to forgive me for hanging out with Riley because I realized in that moment in talking to her that I wanted her back in my life. Actually, more than that I needed her. But I needed Sirius, too. The both of them were my friends in very different ways and while I didn't expect them to be around each other, I needed to find a happy medium. I needed to have Sirius by my side and still be able to turn to Riley for other things. I needed them both now more than ever.

Have I been able to completely forgive Riley for walking away from an eighteen-year-old friendship? Not yet. But I knew I'd be able to do because while we may have lost four years, we still knew things about each other that other people would never know about me. And right now she knew the person I was far before Lily came into my life. Maybe I was being naïve or selfish or in denial wanting her back, but when I was with Riley, I wasn't the recently brokenhearted James Potter. I was the on-the-way-to-moving-on-from-Lily James Potter. Lily was with Shane and while it left me devastated, I couldn't help but remind myself that it was probably what we both needed. I wanted her to not be a target. I wanted her to be safe. And the best way to do both was not only to be sure she wasn't with me but to be sure she was with someone else.

So I laughed. And I meant it. Because it was about time to mean it.

---

++SHANE++

She never looked more beautiful. Her face was glowing relentlessly, her sparkling smile never leaving her face. Her emerald eyes glistened with passionate content as her hand reached out for mine, her thumb stroking the top of my hand so effortlessly. The boat swayed slightly as it embarked down the Seine River, the soft breeze rustling her auburn hair so naturally. As I stared across at her over the candlelit dinner, the magical lights of Paris surrounding us, I wondered if it was possible to stop time so I could never let go of this moment.

"What are you thinking?" Lily asked, taking me out of my wildest fantasies.

"I'm thinking," I started to muse, "that I wonder if you'd be up for skipping dinner so I could just ravish you right here."

She laughed, leaning over to press her soft lips to mine. "I'm thinking we have all night for that," she whispered, her nose nearly pressing mine as she stared into my eyes with so much longing.

I let out a mock sigh. "Ah, well, a guy has to try, right?"

She grinned, nestling back down in her chair. "You're making me wish my birthday and Valentine's Day were every day, Mr. Redford."

"Good," I said with a curt shrug. "Because you should feel special every day. And I should be the one to make you feel that way."

She smiled, nostalgia filling her eyes. She didn't say anything immediate but I recognized the hesitant curiosity in her expression. "How did we get here?" she asked in all sincerity, the smile still resting on her face.

"Well, we apparated to the boat landing and then-"

"No," she said with a chuckle, shaking her head. "I mean, you and me."

I laughed, nodding. "I know. I just don't know if I have an answer to that."

She shrugged. "It seems like a lifetime ago when we first dated. Back in Hogwarts."

"It was a lifetime ago," I pointed out as the waiter walked up to the bow of the boat and presented us with our soup course. I nodded my gratitude before turning back towards Lily. "We were only kids back then. We had no idea what the world held for us. We were young and naïve and sheltered from the real world by the Hogwarts walls. Our knowledge of the war came from reading the Daily Prophet and letters from home. Now? We're involved in this war whether we like it or not. We attempt to keep the peace between the countries as You-know-who gains notoriety. It's a big job but we love doing it. And I don't know about you but as a kid in Hogwarts, I never thought I'd end up where I am. We've grown up over these past couple of years because we've been forced to grow up."

She was looking at me in awe and I wasn't sure how to read her. A sad smile broke out across her face. "I've learned that life is unpredictable. We hadn't a clue what the world held for us in Hogwarts. It's like you said, we were kids. But you're right, we love doing what we're doing now no matter how we ended up here."

I smiled at her. She was adorable when she was being profound. "I love that we ended up here."

When I glanced over at her, I saw such a jumble of emotions staring back at me. The expression on her face was hard for me to read as I watched her go from agony to confusion to finally guilty hesitation. I couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking about James. She didn't say anything for a while, eating her soup in small spoonful as she pondered the words I just spoke. "Do you ever miss it?" she finally asked. "Hogwarts I mean?"

I met her gaze, slowly nodding. "Of course. Anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves."

"What makes you say that?"

I shrugged. "Because being a young, naïve, sheltered kid is far less overwhelming than being an adult living in the midst of a full-blown war."

A slow frown broke out across her face. "How about for tonight we just pretend we're kids again?"

I gazed at her hesitantly. "Back then, you barely wanted to hold my hand. Why would I want to go back to that?" I teased.

She laughed, the sound of her joyful laughter sending an adoring chill down my spine. "Back then I had no idea how to be a girlfriend."

I snorted. "I barely know how to be a boyfriend now."

She pushed her soup to the side and once again leaned over the table, pressing her lips to mine. "I think you're doing a pretty damned good job," she whispered, running her hands through my hair.

"Well, yeah, you are on a private boat sailing down the Seine," I mused. "If you said I was doing a bad job, I'd have something to say about it."

She laughed. "Thank you for an amazing birthday and Valentine's Day, Shane. I'm never going to forget this night."

"Well, that was kinda the idea," I teased, running my fingers along her hairline. "I just wanted to make sure you had the best day ever. I-I know that…that James always planned these extravagant days for you and I want to be able to prove to you that you deserve even better than whatever he did for you."

I could tell she was torn between smiling in adoration and frowning uncomfortably. "You've already proven yourself to me, Shane," she said softly, shaking her head. "Please don't think you have to compare yourself to him. You're here. He's not."

I nodded, unconvinced. I couldn't help but wonder if there were times she wished James had never told her he didn't love her so she could continue being with him. But it was thoughts like that I had to quickly rid from my mind before making myself go crazy. "How can I not compare us?" I said hesitantly. "He was a huge part of your life for four years, Lily."

"But he's no longer a part of my life," she spoke desperately, shaking her head. "Not even a little bit. This night shouldn't be about one-upping James. It should just be about you and me."

I wanted to believe that that night could just be about me and her. But for ten years she never celebrated her birthday. Or Valentine's Day. She shunned the day because of what she felt it represented. The person to break her from that lonely shell was James. She had spent every single birthday and Valentine's Day of her adult life with him.

I hated that he got to spend the last four years with her while I watched on in pure jealousy and envy. I hated that he got to make memories with her that I had so desperately wanted to be making with her. I hated him for giving her such fulfillment in those four years and providing her with that endless adoration and love she deserved. I hadn't hated any of it at the time because I thought they would be together forever. Had I been jealous? Yes. Had I been envious? Absolutely. But I had been happy that she was so happy. It killed me now inside knowing that those four years had been wasted on a guy who clearly didn't appreciate Lily for the person that she was. If he appreciated her the way she deserved to be appreciated he never would have cast her aside the way he had. And for that, I would always hate James Potter.

But what I hated most about him was that he got to be Lily's first love. And because of that, a part of Lily would always love him.

---

++LILY++

I was happy. Really, I was.

Wasn't I? Or was it just an act?

All I know is that while Shane showered me with gifts and praise and adoration, all I could think about was how the only reason I was able to even celebrate my birthday was because James gave me hope to.

It was the first time since I got together when Shane that I couldn't help but wonder what I was really doing with him.

---

++KEEGAN++

I was holed up on the couch with a bottle of wine and Mr. Potter's old case files when there was a knock on the door. I groaned, thinking it was Victor still trying to convince me to come out with him tonight.

I opened the door to berate him but was shocked to see Sirius standing there instead. "Sirius," I said hesitantly. "What are you..." I trailed off.

He paused. "Lily home?"

I frowned. "She's with...well, she's out."

He rolled his eyes. "With Shane?"

My heart skipped a beat. "You know about that?"

I nodded. "I also know about Victor."

Damn. "What about Victor?" I said, playing it casually.

"Last I checked, you hated the guy."

"Last I checked, I hated you but apparently that had changed at one point."

"It did?"

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" he asked curiously. "Shouldn't you be out with your new boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I was quick to argue.

Sirius cocked his head to the side. "Not so gung-ho about Valentine's Day like me, hm?"

"You got that from me telling you he wasn't my boyfriend."

"I'm assuming you don't want to deal with the label and going out with him on Valentine's Day is the quickest way to end up his girlfriend."

I rolled my eyes. Maybe a part of him was right but that wasn't why I was home on Valentine's Day instead of out with Victor. "What are you doing here?" I asked again, avoiding his curious implication. "And don't say you're here for Lily. If you knew about Shane then you knew she'd be gone."

He frowned. "Just...I-I...hell, I don't know. I hate Valentine's Day. Always have. And now that Riley's back in town, I'm hating on it even more."

"I hate this holiday, too, but that still doesn't explain what you're doing here."

He met my gaze and I saw regret staring back at me. Regret for what, I couldn't be sure. "I had a feeling you might be staying in tonight," he said softly. "Just thought I'd wander over here and see if you wanted to get a drink with me."

I tried to look away but something in his eyes kept me staring into them. "Do you know why I hate this holiday?"

"Probably for the same reasons I do."

"No, I don't think so. Because I hate this holiday for one reason and one reason only."

He hesitated. "Yeah?"

"It was on this day five years ago when Tristan proposed to me."

Sirius' look softened. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it, clearly having no words of comfort to follow. Finally, he sighed. "You're right, that's not the same reason I hate this holiday."

I suppressed the urge to smile, though I was oddly grateful he went with a joke. "Sirius," I said softly. "Why would you think that on all days, I would go out for a drink with you on this holiday?"

"I didn't think you'd want to get a drink with me. But I was tired of sitting alone in my apartment thinking of…well, it doesn't matter. It just matters that I didn't want to be sitting alone anymore so I wandered over here."

"Well, wander right back."

He shrugged. "This holiday must really suck for you, Rouge," he murmured pensively, ignoring me completely. "I hate this holiday for no good reason except some girl broke my heart four years ago and this day likes to shove that in my face. But you, you actually have a legitimate reason to hide away on this day. Bu you don't have to hide away if you don't want to."

He was clearly rambling and was winging what he was saying, and I found myself smiling at how awkwardly cute he was acting. And then I scolded myself for thinking so. "I do want to," I argued, though I didn't entirely believe the words I was saying. "Hide I mean."

He nodded. "Okay. Just thought I'd ask." He shrugged and turned back towards his apartment.

"Sirius," I said softly.

He hesitated before glancing over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"You knocked on my door trying to avoid thoughts of Riley, weren't you."

He froze, turning all the way around to face me. "No."

It was a lie and we both knew it. "You know what I felt when I realized that the Riley I worked with was the Riley who left you four years ago?"

I could practically see his heart beating out of his chest as he met my gaze. "What?"

"Jealousy."

His eyes widened in confusion. "What?"

I leaned up against the doorframe, wondering why I was bringing this up. "Do you remember what I told you the night you told me, well yelled at me, about the way Riley broke your heart?"

"You said a lot of things."

I frowned. "I said you were lucky."

He blinked. "I recall yelling at you for saying that. You really want to bring this up again?"

"You're still lucky."

"Apparently you do."

"You have her," I said softly. "She's standing in front of you. Any and all questions you've had in the past about her can be asked and answered. So why aren't you doing the asking?"

The vulnerability in his eyes was unmistakable. He opened his mouth a few times and closed it every single time without uttering a word. Eventually, he turned away from my scrutiny and simply said, "I don't want anything from her."

"Why not?" I asked desperately, shaking my head. "She left you in the middle of the night and you're telling me you don't want to know why?"

"I don't want her to know I want to know why," he scoffed.

"She knows. Of course she knows."

"Why? Because she knows me so well?" he snorted, rolling his eyes.

"She does," I said, the words blurting out before I could stop them.

Sirius took an angry step back. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"She may not have been around for four years, but that doesn't mean she didn't know you back then. And unfortunately that means that she knows parts of you now."

"She knows nothing," he snapped, whirling around and opening his own door. He attempted to slam the door in my face, but I rushed after him and held out my hand to stop it before it could shut.

"I know a day doesn't go by where you don't think of her. Of how she left. Or even why she left. I know that-"

"Just like Riley knows nothing about me, you know nothing either."

I frowned guiltily. "Why do you get so angry when I bring her up?"

"It's fucking Valentine's Day, Keegan. The last person I want to be talking about or even thinking about on this day is her. So seriously, can you please just shut up?"

I felt so bad for Sirius. It was clear he was feeling lost and broken, more so now that Riley was back in town. I just wanted him to not feel that way any longer. "Tristan is dead, Sirius. I can't help myself get the answers to all of my questions. But it kills me to watch you not get yours when you have the opportunity to."

"Stop," he pleaded, shaking his head. "This is my life, Rouge. Not yours. I get to ask the questions when I want to. Not when you want me to."

He was right, as always. I hated when he was right. "Are you ever going to want to?"

He blinked, looking up at me hesitantly. "I don't know," he muttered honestly. "But how about I figure that out for myself, hm?"

I sighed, wondering why I was bothering to push this. "You're right. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just trying to-"

"So help me Merlin, if you say you were just trying to help, I will smack you."

I rolled my eyes. "If you recall, you were the one that came knocking on my door tonight, not the other way around. I would have been perfectly content without the interruption. Especially from you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he scowled.

I met his gaze, my heart skipping a beat as I saw the flicker of intense frustration in his eyes. "I said we were over, Sirius," I muttered, shaking my head pleadingly. "And I meant it. Why do you insist on making things so hard between us?"

"Oh, I make things hard? Not the person who keeps asking me about a girl that frankly, she knows very little about?"

"I was trying to help!"

He growled. "I have nothing against smacking a girl."

I rolled my eyes. "You are so in denial it's ridiculous."

"Denial over what?"

"It's like you are avoiding the fact that she's back. And you're hating anyone else who is reaching out to her."

His eyes narrowed. "You been talking to James?"

I hesitated. No. I was talking about Lily but he didn't need to know that. "You're allowed to still be angry, Sirius. But be angry at her. Not everyone else."

"I'm done talking about this," he snapped, whirling around to head into his kitchen.

"Fine, get mad at me!" I called out after him. "I can take it and hell, we've certainly had our practice of yelling at each other. But what did James do to you? Or Lance or Dezzy or Drew? Why do they deserve to be on the end of your hate?"

"BECAUSE I AM SO DAMNED TIRED OF FEELING BETRAYED BY THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT!" he shouted, turning on his heel to glare at me.

"Then why'd you knock on my door?" I snapped right back. "Because I betrayed you just as much as they did! I was the one who knew she was back. I was the one who didn't tell you! So what are you doing here?"

The anger in his eyes depleted into angst. "Because you get it," he whispered. "You get what it feels like to…to lose the people you care about. And the best part about you getting it is the fact that you never knew who I was when I was with…her. You get what I'm feeling but not because you think you knew what I had. You just get it because you went through the same thing. So maybe that's why I knocked on your door. Because I thought you understood. And I thought you'd understand that on tonight of all nights, I didn't want to talk or think about her. Apparently I was wrong."

My heart sank in pure guilt. "Oh, Merlin," I sighed shamefully. "I'm…I'm sorry."

"No, don't," he argued, shaking his head. "Don't feel guilty. That wasn't my intention."

"Wasn't it?" I snorted.

He pursed his lips, leaning up against the back of his couch with a heavy sigh. "I'm just…I don't know. I'm tired of everything going so wrong. So horribly. These tragedies and heartache. It…it sucks. Not just for me but for everyone else. And I don't know why everyone's answer to pushing away the tragedies is to run back to someone who caused us so much heartache to begin with. Everyone else is so quick to think I'm being stubborn when it comes to her. But it's not stubbornness. It's…it just...it…" he trailed off, seething.

"Hurts?" I whispered.

He met my gaze and held it there. "I was going to say it sucks, but hurts works too."

I frowned. "Sirius, I'm-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry," he muttered. "I don't want your pity. I have never wanted that. Especially from you."

I nodded knowingly. "Sirius, I hope you know that your friends aren't trying to hurt you," I whispered. "Not even in the slightest. They're just trying to figure all of this out, just like you are. Only difference is they weren't in love with her so forgiveness is more of a possibility for them."

"I really don't want to hear this," he argued.

I cut him off. "It was just their friend that walked away. Not the girl they had fallen in love with who had ripped out their heart in a single evening. Don't think that this is easy for them, because it's not. They're just trying-"

"Can you please just stop…talking?" he interrupted, cringing.

I frowned. "I'm just trying to-"

"Keegan."

I sighed but obliged.

"I merely knocked on your door tonight asking if you wanted to get a drink," he muttered, shrugging. "Nothing more, nothing less. No agenda. So please, don't turn this into one."

I let out an irritated grunt. "Fine. Happy Valentine's Day," I muttered, heading out of his apartment.

"Seriously? You're mad at me?"

"No," I urged, because I wasn't. "I'm...I just...I..."

"Yeah?"

I sighed, slowly turning around to face him. "I don't know. I just really hate this holiday," I whispered.

"And so...so you're distracting yourself from hating this holiday by grilling me?"

I glared at him. "Must I remind you that you knocked on my door to distract yourself from hating this holiday?"

"For a drink. Not to grill you."

"I didn't realize that asking you a few questions about your ex-girlfriend, questions you've already considered and ignored, was equivalent to grilling you," I snapped.

"You're not just asking me questions, you're judging me!" he responded angrily. "And out of everyone I know, I never thought you'd be the one judging me. You're supposed to get me. I-I thought you got me."

"No, apparently I don't get you," I admitted coolly. "Because you have been hurting for four years and it's like you have no desire to try and stop it."

I could tell it was like a slap in the face, and rightly so. No one likes to be hurt and yet I just accused him of thriving on it. He took a hesitant step back before speaking, his words cold and callous. "Anything she may have to say to me isn't going to change the fact that four years ago she walked away without a goodbye or an explanation. Just like there's nothing anyone could do or say to you to make the pain of Tristan's death go away," he scoffed, frustration growing in his eyes. "People get hurt all the time. They get heartbroken. But what they don't do is displace their hurt and broken heart on to other people because they are too damned cowardly to try to get over their own hurt and broken heart even four years later."

I froze, the words hitting me like a thousand stabbing knives to the heart. He had just finished telling me he couldn't stand feeling betrayed and yet he just completely betrayed everything we had ever talked about. "You're the coward," I whispered bitterly. "You can't face Riley because you can't face yourself. You're too afraid that once you do the truth will come out and you won't like it. Well, you know what really hurts? The truth. Sometimes more than people. Maybe you should get over yourself long enough to realize that!"

Oh, he was angry. He was livid. But hell so was I.

"And what would you know about dealing with the truth?" he sneered. "As you've pointed out, you don't exactly get any answers from a dead guy, now do you?"

I take it back. His words before were only like a hundred stabbing knives. This was like a million stabbing knives jutting through every inch of my body. It had been a long time since I had felt so numbly horrified by just a few words. A chill ran down my spine as my face grew white in pure betrayal. "Screw you, Black," I whispered hoarsely, unable to ignore the wind that was just knocked out of me.

I whirled around, needing to get out of there before I said anything I might regret.

"You're the one who has pointed that out before!"

I turned on my heel to glare at him. "I'm allowed to point it out," I whispered. "I'm the one who lost that…that dead guy you speak so eloquently of. The only dead guy you're allowed to speak of is you when I'm through with you."

He hesitated. "How will I be able to speak of myself if I'm dead?"

And now he was making a joke as if he didn't just spew hurtful words. "Go to hell," I snarled, whipping open his front door and storming out.

"That's a good guess as to where I'd go if you killed me!" he called out after me.

Another fucking joke.

I responded by slamming the door in his face.

---

++KAY++

I used to enjoy Ministry events. I used to like finding the perfect dress to wear and I always enjoyed myself on the dance floor with my fiancé and a drink in hand. It didn't matter what the event was promoting or supporting, I always had such a good time with my friends.

But I was dreading that night. It was heartbreaking because the Valentine's Day gala was always something I had previously looked forward to, and not just because it was an event St. Mungo's always cohosted. But I no longer cared about throwing on a beautiful dress when I didn't have the fiancé to enjoy myself with.

"Wow, you look gorgeous."

I turned away from the mirror to offer Remus a half-smile, glancing slightly down at the midnight blue gown I had picked up earlier that week from Hogsmeade. "Thanks. You don't look half-bad yourself," I spoke, noting his crisp dress robes.

He held up a full beer in his hand. "Want one?"

I nodded. "I'm thinking that showing up to this thing with a nice buzz is essential."

He handed me the beer, taking a swig of his own. "We don't have to go to this thing," he suggested.

I sighed, taking a seat at the edge of my bed. "I do. St. Mungo's is co-hosting."

He hesitated. "I don't have to go to this thing," he teased, leaning over the railing of my bed.

I smirked. "You never know. Maybe you'll find yourself bringing Sydny back here for a one-night stand. Oh, no wait, that was the last St. Mungo's charity event."

The tips of his ears turned pink as he attempted to glare at me with little success. Eventually, he just laughed. "That might not have been my finest moment."

"What are you talking about? That was epic!" a booming voice came from the doorway as Sirius slid into the room, clapping his friend on the back.

I laughed while Remus perfected his glare on Sirius. "Don't you have enough girls you're juggling?"

Sirius scowled, swiping his friend's beer and taking a long drink from it. "You play dirty."

Remus grabbed his beer back, smirking. "Why yes I do."

He rolled his eyes, bouncing on to the bed beside me. "Is anyone else considering opting out of this thing?"

"I can't," I muttered.

Sirius gazed over at me with a cringe. "Oh, right. You kinda work for the people that are co-hosting. I guess you're obligated," he said with a sympathetic frown. "But remind me again why we are going?" he asked Remus.

"Er…moral support?"

"No, that's not it."

"We are pro-Valentine's Day?"

"Definitely not it."

"We support kids and Quidditch?"

"Nope, try again."

Remus hesitated. "Open bar?"

"Oh, right."

I laughed, shoving Sirius playfully as he began to bounce on the bed. "C'mon," I urged, climbing off the bed and stretching out my hand to Sirius. "Let's get sloshed off whatever we can find in the liquor cabinet downstairs before hightailing it over to this stupid thing."

"So you admit St. Mungo's is stupid?" Sirius teased, taking my hand as I led him out my bedroom door, Remus following quickly behind.

"I admit dressing up in a swanky gown and putting a fake smile on my face as I pretend like I want to be at a pretentious charity event surrounded by pretentious people and pretentious conversation is stupid," I argued as he linked his arm into mine pensively.

Sirius shrugged. "Well, that I can't argue with," he muttered. "Except for the part about a swanky gown. I don't know what that feels like," he teased.

I laughed as we made our way down the stairs into the dining room. "I have plenty of them, Sirius, if you'd like to change out of your dress robes into-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," he urged, shooting me a look as he let go of me and headed towards the liquor cabinet. Opening it, he said, "Tequila? Vodka? Ogden's? Dragonbreath? Corabrandy? All of the above?"

"Ugh," I shuddered, shooting him a look. "Let's start with the tequila, shall we?"

"So is it safe to say that we are not planning on pacing ourselves tonight?"

Sirius grabbed the tequila bottle, uncorked it, and took a swig directly from it, grinning as he pulled the bottle away from his lips. "Hell no, Moony. Drink up."

Remus glanced over at me hesitantly as Sirius extended the bottle towards him. I grinned, nodding at him to do as the pretty boy said. "You guys are bad influences on me," he muttered, a smile on his face as he tipped the bottle back and took a long sip. He shuddered when he pulled the bottle back, handing it over to me.

"Bloody hell, why wasn't I invited to the party?"

We all whirled around, guilty expressions on our faces as James wandered into the dining room. I frowned, our argument from earlier that week on the forefront of my mind. We hadn't spoken since but I couldn't be sure if it was because we were too busy ingrained in our work or if it was because we were avoiding each other. Probably a little bit of both. "We have plenty of alcohol," I urged, nodding towards the overflowing cabinet.

He grabbed the bottle from my hand, taking a long drink before handing it back to me. "Remind me why we're going to this thing again?"

"Open bar" was the resounding response from all three of us.

He smirked. "I'm assuming this question has been asked and answered already?"

Sirius nodded, swiping the Ogden's from the cabinet and handing it over to James. "Yep. Drink up," he muttered irritably before grabbing the tequila back from me and walking out.

I glanced at Remus and James, confused, and frowned when I noticed that neither of them were confused in the slightest. "Er…what was that about?"

James shrugged. "Sirius isn't exactly my biggest fan right now."

"Why?"

He and Remus exchanged a brief look. "Uh…no reason," James muttered.

"Right, like I'm going to believe that."

James sighed, unscrewing the cap of the Ogden's in his hand and pouring the liquid down his throat. "C'mon, let's get to the Ministry."

I glanced towards Remus who grimaced and shook his head slightly. I knew that was his way of telling me to let it go, but I couldn't help but have a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Right now with all the shit the two of them have been going through, I couldn't imagine what James did to make Sirius mad when it seemed in the end, all they had was each other to lean on.

But I didn't question it. I finished off the beer in my hand and tossed it into the trash before following the two of them out.

---

++SIRIUS++

This was the last place I wanted to be that night. Everyone was going to be there. Everyone I was trying to avoid. James, Keegan with Victor, Riley with Rhett, Lily with Shane, Drew with Dezzy, Lance, the list went on.

As I hightailed it straight to the open bar, it hit me how many of my old friends I was harboring such resentment towards. You'd think after a while, I'd get tired of feeling so angry but apparently not.

"Hey."

I glanced to my right, thankful that it was just Kay. "Would it be inappropriate of me to double-fist this shindig?"

"Inappropriate, perhaps. The only way to get through the night? Absolutely."

I sighed. "Why the hell am I here, Kay?"

"Well, I'm here because St. Mungo's is co-hosting and you're here because the charity we are supporting raises money to send underprivileged kids to Quidditch camp. Last I checked, you kinda work in the Quidditch world."

I made a face. "I hate Quidditch at this moment."

She chuckled, looping her arm into mine as we continued towards the open bar. "We can get through this," she muttered. "We've been through worse, have we not?"

I couldn't be sure if she was referring to herself and Lance or the war or me and Riley, but whatever it was, I didn't harp on it.

"Can I ask you something?"

I nodded.

"What's going on with you and James?"

I stiffened at the mention of his name. Did I hate James for finding some form of solace in Riley? Oddly enough, no. It was the fact that he had done it behind my back. I wanted to hate them all for rushing back to her, and maybe a part of me did. Maybe a part of me wondered how they could all – Lance, Dezzy, Drew, James – just accept her back into their lives after she way she had handled herself four years earlier when she had left without so much as an explanation. How could they just forgive and forget? Either they were much stronger people than I was or...

Keegan's words from Wednesday night flashed through my mind. Maybe it wasn't because they were stronger people. Maybe it was just easier for them to forgive when it hadn't been the love of their life who at one minute was telling them she loved them and the next, disappearing into the night without bothering to say goodbye.

So it took me a while to realize that it wasn't really hate I was feeling towards them. It was jealousy. They just had to forgive a friend. I had to somehow find a way to forgive a friend, a lover, a girlfriend, and the first and only girl I had ever loved all in one.

"You're probably not going to like hearing this," I muttered, glancing towards Kay, "But he's kinda been hanging out with Riley."

She froze, meeting my gaze. "What?"

I nodded. "You heard me."

"But…but how?" she snapped. "And why?"

"Beats me."

She frowned. "She doesn't deserve our forgiveness," she whispered.

I sighed. "I know."

She grew quiet and I could only imagine what was running through her mind. I knew that for Kay, it was just as difficult imagining forgiveness. Because for her, it wasn't just a friend she had to forgive. It was a friend who broke up her engagement. "Screw double-fisting," Kay muttered eventually. "Let's go straight for the shots."

I laughed but was more than happy to oblige. Unfortunately once we got up to the bar we were informed shots were not allowed so we were forced to go back to our original plan of double-fisting. Needless to say, we were well on our way to getting drunk about an hour into the night.

That's when I spotted Lily talking to some of her coworkers in the corner.

I made my way over to her, sneaking up behind her and whispering, "So are you actually dating Shane or just using him to try and forget about James?"

Lily froze, turning around to glare at me. Her eyes narrowed quickly as she cocked her head to the side. "Are you actually drunk or just using alcohol to try and forget about Riley and Keegan?"

I hesitated. "I retract my question."

I swear there was a hint of a smirk on her face but it quickly disappeared. "Aren't you supposed to be getting up on stage later as your boss goes on and on about the greatness of Quidditch for little kids?"

Shit, I forgot about that. "Er…maybe?"

"You might want to hose yourself off with a gallon of water before attempting to stand still on stage," she snorted.

I rolled my eyes. "I can manage."

"What is with you?"

"Come again?"

"You're not acting like yourself," she argued, shrugging. "You're acting like the guy you were four years ago right after Riley left."

"Don't mention her name," I snapped. "She's a bitch for leaving."

"Yes," Lily agreed hesitantly, "But it seems to me you think she's an even bigger bitch for coming back."

"Seriously, we are not talking about her," I muttered irritably.

"Alright, you want to discuss Keegan?"

"Do you hate me or something?"

She couldn't help but chuckle. "Sorry. It's not really my business, is it."

"Nope. So how about we talk about you and Mr. Redford, hm?"

She frowned. "What do you want to know?"

"I asked you a question when I first walked over here."

"To which you retracted."

"Yes, but you still felt the need to discuss a particular two girls to me so now I feel the need to discuss Shane."

Lily sighed hesitantly. "I-I don't know," she whispered honestly. "It's so soon, right?"

"That's a question you have to ask yourself, Lily-bean," I spoke softly.

She glanced at me, burden heavy in her eyes. "Shane was always just my friend. A good friend. I-I never even once saw more in him until…until he showed me more. I know it's probably crazy. I know that. I was with James for four years and not even a month later, I'm with someone else. I'm not stupid. I know everyone's looking at me like I'm some naïve little girl. But the truth is, Sirius, is that I-I like being with him. So if I want to be with him, I don't need anyone else influencing my decision to do so."

My eyes never strayed for hers, trying to find some form of hesitation. But she actually sounded confident in her words.

"I'm not with him to just forget about James, Sirius," she continued when I didn't speak. "Sorry to burst your bubble or anyone else's who thought James and I were going to end up together, but that's clearly never going to happen. So I'm allowed to move on. I'm allowed to date other people. I'm allowed to find someone who makes me feel special."

I frowned, surprised by the softness in her voice. "You really like him, don't you."

She hesitated. But only slightly before a smile broke out across her face and suddenly, she didn't even have to answer the question because the answer was obvious. She may have responded, I couldn't be sure, but all I was aware of was the way the smile on her face met her eyes. It had been a long time since I had seen that with her. Hell, it had been a long time since I had seen that with anyone.

I wanted to hate her for it. But I didn't. Because the happiness she was exuding was all I ever wanted. Not just for me but for all my friends. And if she was getting that with Shane, I was happy for them.

Now the real question was, when was it going to be my turn to get that?

And who was I going to get that with?

---

++JAMES++

I watched as Sirius and Lily shared a conversation, albeit short. And I watched as Lily walked away from the conversation feeling slightly frazzled while Sirius walked away looking more frustrated than he had when he first walked in. And I also watched as Lily weaved through the crowds towards the bar.

Glancing down at my half-empty glass, I finished off its contents and made my way over to her against my better judgment.

"Hey."

She jumped, glancing at me hesitantly. "Hi."

"So," I spoke as we waited in line, "You're with Shane."

She froze, turning towards me. "What are you doing here, James?"

"It's a Ministry event. Moody expects us-"

"No," she sighed, shaking her head. "Not what are you doing in the room. What are you doing over here by me?"

"I'm not allowed to say 'hey?'"

"No," she snapped firmly. "No, you're not."

"Why are you angry?" I muttered irritably. "You're the one sleeping around your office."

I wasn't surprised when she smacked me across the cheek.

"What is your problem, James?" she snapped. "You did this. Not me. You don't get to be bitter because I've moved on. You stopped loving me."

"I didn't think you'd move on this quickly!"

"That is not your decision to make," she argued, shaking her head. "I can move on when I want how I want with who I want. And you don't get to be bitter or angry or frustrated because you did this."

She was right as always. "Why didn't you tell me about Shane?"

"I don't owe you a damned thing, Potter," she snarled, her grip growing on the empty glass in her hand.

Once again, she was right. "I know," I admitted with a sigh. "I just...I don't...I mean..."

She glanced out of the corner of her eye at me. "You going to finish any of those sentences?"

"Are you happy?" I blurted out.

She blinked. "You really want to know?"

I hesitated before shaking my head. "No," I sighed truthfully.

She shrugged, glancing over the shoulder of the guy in front of her to see how many more people were left in line. I had a feeling she wanted to get away from me. "I, uh, really just wanted to come over here and wish you a Happy Belated Birthday," I murmured. It was a lie but I wanted to look like a better guy than the jealous, annoyed jerk I was clearly being in that moment.

She frowned slightly, clicking her tongue against the top of her mouth nervously. "Thanks I guess," she muttered.

"Did you have a good birthday?"

She sighed. "You didn't come over here to wish me a happy birthday, James. You're just using that as an excuse because what you really want to do is grill me about Shane but you don't want to appear too eager."

Damn, she knew me well. "I don't want to grill you," I sighed, shaking my head as finally, there was only one person between us and the bar. "I just want you to be happy."

She turned back towards me, her eyes filled with skepticism. "Is that really what you want?" she asked softly.

I want you, Lily. Problem is, I can't have you. "I want..." I trailed off hesitantly, my heart beating out of my chest. "I want..."

Her skepticism turned to intense eagerness.

I sighed. "I want a firewhisky and cola," I muttered, turning towards the bartender.

She looked disappointed but only for a second before she ordered her drink. I took my drink and she took hers and we walked off in opposite directions.

---

++LILY++

Maybe he did want me happy. But as we stood at that bar, just the two of us, I could feel there was something else he wanted to say that he didn't.

As I ventured off to dance with Shane, I couldn't help but spend the rest of the night wondering what the hell it was he wanted to say.

---

++REMUS++

I hate Valentine's Day. And I hated these Ministry Valentine's Day galas. But for once, it wasn't me I was thinking about. No, I spent most of the evening watching most of my friends grow miserable with every passing second.

The last Ministry event we had all attended occurred four months earlier. Four months. Back then, Keegan had been happy with Fabian. James and Lily were as cute as always. Kay and Lance spent the night laughing on the dance floor. Caleb had been alive and by his pregnant wife's side the entire evening. Sydny had just recently showed up on the scene and had yet to drop all of the secrets and bombshells she has since announced to us. Riley had just been a girl from our past.

A lot changes in four months.

I hoped that in another four months, we'd find ourselves back to the people we used to be.

---

++SIRIUS++

"Black."

I was surprised to be greeted by Sydny so I only offered a raised eyebrow inquisitively.

She frowned, nursing her drink hesitantly before blurting out, "Your cousin was recently spotted in Godric's Hollow."

I froze, the drink in my hand growing heavy. "So we're going to go ahead and skip the small talk, hm?"

She merely nodded.

"What, does Bellabitch have some sort of death wish?" I snorted. "She knows she's on the top of the Death Eater's Most Wanted list, doesn't she?"

"That's why I was hoping you might give me some insight on why the hell she is lurking around Godric's Hollow."

"How the hell would I know that?" I snapped. "What, just because we share the same last name, I'm supposed to know her whereabouts at all time?"

"No," Sydny retaliated, rolling her eyes. "I was merely wondering if there was any lingering Black family in Godric's Hollow. Or any potential Death Eaters that might be stationed there that you could think about."

I frowned, slowly shaking my head. "No one from my…my family lives in Godric's Hollow. They wouldn't dare step foot in my town. It's laced with Aurors. And you should know by now my family hates Aurors."

She matched my frown, finishing off the wine in her hand. "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of," she muttered.

I blinked. "You think she was after James?"

"No."

I hesitated. "Lily?"

She didn't answer.

"Bloody hell, you do think she's after Lily-bean, don't you?"

"Lily-bean?" she snorted.

I glared at her. "Can we ignore the nickname as we discuss Death Eater activity?"

She grimaced. "I have little to no information, Sirius," she sighed. "Someone sent an owl with the tip that she was lurking near Burberry Lane and all I know is that-"

"That road runs behind Lily's apartment complex," I muttered, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. That meant that Bellatrix Black had been seen down the street from my apartment complex.

She nodded. "There's another possibility here, Sirius."

My eyebrow rose inquisitively.

"You live there, too, don't you?"

I frowned. "You're saying they might be after me, too?"

She hesitated. "You still receiving letters, Black?"

I scowled. "How the hell did you know about that?"

"Inside source."

"Wyatt?" I snorted immediately.

She shrugged.

I sighed. "Yeah, I'm still getting them. And I'm still immediately chucking them into the fire. They may have gotten their hands on my brother but I'm not a moron."

She merely nodded, sipping her drink hesitantly. I knew she thought that meant I had more time. It probably wasn't going to be the same for Lily. "Do me a favor, will ya?" she asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Depends on the favor."

She glanced over at me out of the corner of her eye, desperation blinking back at me. "Don't tell James."

"Believe me, I won't," I sighed. I wasn't about to tell James that the girl he had tried "saving" by pushing away is still on Voldemort's radar. Nothing good could come from that.

As Sydny walked away, my eyes grazed over at Lily once again. She was laughing while Shane twirled her around on the dance floor and I couldn't help but wonder which was going to end first: this war or her life.

---

++REMUS++

"You have yet to tell us what we're doing here," I muttered at my best mate as we sat outside the perimeter of Lestrange Manor.

"Dumbledore's orders, Moony," Sirius said. "Just pipe down and watch the house, won't you?"

"What exactly am I watching for?"

"Anything."

"I'm allowed to question this, y'know! You're being very secretive."

"Shh," Frank whispered from the other side of me. "We kinda lose the whole stealthy thing if we're shouting."

"Easy for you to say," I mumbled. "You know what we're doing here."

Frank caught Sirius' eyes and they both frowned. Sirius turned to me. "Bellatrix was spotted in Godric's Hollow."

My breath hitched. "She's back in England?"

"It would appear so."

"Does she have some sort of death wish?" I muttered.

"Just wishing death upon others," Fabian murmured under his breath as he perched beside Sirius. It was barely audible, but I still heard it and froze.

"Who's her target?" I whispered hoarsely.

"Who isn't?" Sirius snorted, his eyes flickering towards a room on the top floor where a light just went on.

I sighed. "It's James, isn't it," I murmured.

Another look was exchanged between the three of them. "No?" I said, confused.

"How about we just focus on the task at hand?" Fabian suggested, gesturing towards the house.

I frowned. "Lily?"

"Remus," Sirius urged desperately, "Stop asking questions and just watch the house."

I knew it. It was Lily.

Oh. Shit.

"Does Dumbledore think Bellatrix is staying here?" I asked hesitantly. "That why we're on stakeout duty?"

"We're not the only ones on stakeout duty," Frank advised, glancing over at me. "Alice, Gideon, Marlene, and Dorcas are watching Malfoy Manor tonight."

"Because of Narcissa?" I murmured, already knowing the answer.

"Why can't we just go in there and kick some Lestrange arse?" Sirius muttered irritably. "We all know they're Death Eaters!"

"Yes, but we have no proof," Frank pointed out, always the levelheaded one. "Why do you think they're still roaming around England? They would have been arrested a long time ago if we had any sort of proof. At least with Bellatrix, we have some witness encounters to her Death Eater activity, enough for us to know she's on our watch list. The rest of her bloody cohorts keep their masks on at all time."

"It's like she wants to get caught," Fabian muttered.

"No, it's her way of taunting all of us," Sirius responded irritably. "As if to say, 'here I am, come and get me. Oh, wait you can't.'"

"Sirius-"

"I can't believe I'm bloody related to her," he snapped, the strain in his voice not going unnoticed. His voice grew soft as he said achingly, "To any of them."

Frank, Fabian, and I glanced at each other hesitantly, unsure how to respond to that. It was a rare occasion for Sirius to mention his family. It was an even rarer occasion for him to show angst over resentment.

"You may be related, but you're not one of them," I urged.

Sirius glanced at me briefly and I could tell he was unconvinced. "Let's just do the job we were given, alright?"

"Sirius."

"Don't," he muttered, shooting me a pleading look. "I…I really just don't want to hear it right now."

I frowned, wondering exactly what was running through his mind to make him feel so helpless.

"Hey, guys," Frank spoke, nodding towards the lit window on the top floor. "I think we know where she's staying now."

The three of us glanced up to where Frank was looking to see Bellatrix in some sort of shouting match with Rodolphus Lestrange.

"Can you hear what they're saying?" Fabian asked curiously.

"No, but that's not the point anyway," Sirius spoke hesitantly. "She's back in Britain. That's what we came to confirm and we have. Frank, tell Alice we've got her. Let's get back to Dumbledore."

"Shouldn't one of us stay?" I asked curiously.

"You volunteering?"

I frowned. "For Lily, yes."

"I never said this was because of Lily."

"It was implied."

"We can't watch over her at all times," Frank pointed out. "We've tried that before and it fails every time. I think just knowing she is back in Britain is enough to ensure we all watch our backs. She wouldn't be back if she didn't have a mission."

The words hit all of them hard, knowing that if Bellatrix really was back she was after them. She had a vendetta to overcome.

"C'mon," Sirius muttered again. "It's time we report back to Dumbledore."

---

++SIRIUS++

I was happy to live across the hall from Lily, if not for the sole reason that I could keep an eye on her. Dumbledore had debated between calling an Order meeting to alert everyone of Bellatrix' return and keeping it under wraps to lessen potential panic. At least that was what he had said. I had a feeling he was more thinking about protecting James for learning the truth in fear of him doing something else idiotic. Though I wasn't sure one could get more idiotic than telling your girlfriend you didn't love her anymore.

I heard a scuffle outside my door that Wednesday and with a quick peek out the peephole, I thrust the door open and grinned. "Lily-bean!"

She emitted a shocked squeak and whirled around. "Merlin's beard, you can't sneak up on a girl like that!"

I shrugged. "This is usually the part where I wander over to James' to fill my boredom but I'm not talking to that idiot because he hung out with Riley behind my back. So my next option may have been Keegan but now we hate each other again so she's out. So you want to go to Blarney's to celebrate a late birthday?"

There was a hesitant glint in her eyes as a frown quickly appeared on her face. Before I could ask if everything was okay, she put on a forced smile. "So I'm your third choice?"

I hesitated. "Fourth, but Remus had plans with Kay."

She laughed, rolling her eyes at me. "Alright, fine. Can I at least put down the mound of paperwork in my arms?"

"But I want a drink now," I whined.

She glared at me.

"Alright, fine, but you owe me a drink," I muttered teasingly, following her into her flat. She disappeared into her bedroom while my gaze fell upon Keegan's bedroom door curiously. It was closed so she could have been hiding behind it. Or she still could have been at work. Or maybe on a date with her new boy-toy.

"She's not here."

I was thrown from my revelry at the sound of Lily's voice. "What?"

She shot me a look as she shooed me out the door. "Don't play dumb."

"Did you ever think that maybe I really am dumb?"

She rolled her eyes, elbowing me as she shut the door behind us. "What's going on with you two anyway?"

"I didn't ask you to join me at Blarney's so we could talk about your roommate."

"Do you ever really need a reason to go to Blarney's, Si?"

I sent her a look. "I could find a reason not to go," I warned.

She rolled her eyes. "What are you avoiding?"

"James. Haven't we already established that?"

As we exited the apartment complex and started taking the 10-minute walk into town, she slowly turned to face me. "You can't hate everyone who might consider befriending her again, Sirius," she said softly. "She was a big part of our lives."

I knew she was right. I knew I was being stubborn. It's exactly what Keegan had said to me as well, but I couldn't help but be a little frustrated after the way people had been letting me down recently. I just want to be good enough for someone. "I know," I muttered. "I just…"

"Yeah?"

I didn't even know where to start. Or how to start. I wanted to not care about Riley and her return. I wanted to brush it off. I wanted to pretend as if none of it mattered. But it did. I'd be lying if I said I was fine. Because I wasn't. "She's supposed to be miserable, Lily-bean," I muttered. "She's supposed to be alone and hurting. She's supposed to hate herself and live with the guilt of what she did to all of us. Instead, she's hanging out with people who she turned her back on and she's bloody engaged to Rhett Davies. Why does she get it all after disappearing on us four years ago? How is that fair, Lily-bean?"

I couldn't read the expression on her face as I gazed at her. It was a mixture of guilt and shame and distress and heartbreak. Before I could even attempt to figure it out, she was turning away from me. "Nothing in life is fair, Sirius," she whispered.

She didn't have to elaborate. Compared to all of us, she's lived a pretty difficult life. And James didn't make it any easier on her as much as he'd like to believe he did.

I linked my arms with her and steered the conversation elsewhere. "So you've been a little MIA recently, Lily-bean."

She cringed. "I know. I've been busy."

"With Shane?"

She frowned. "You really want to talk about him?"

I shrugged. "I guess I'm still wondering why you didn't bother to tell any of us."

She glanced dubiously at me out of the corner of her eye. "How about for the reason you just mentioned?" she said softly.

I knitted my eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

She shrugged, staring back ahead so as to avoid eye contact with me. "How is life fair, Sirius?" she murmured. "After Riley disappeared from your life. After Jillian disappeared from Remus'. After what happened to Shannon with Caleb. After Tristan died and left Keegan behind. After Lance betrayed Kay. After all of this bullshit, we all deserve to be happy. But…but you're not. Remus isn't. Shannon, Keegan, and Kay aren't. So…"

"Oh, Merlin, Lily, you've been avoiding us because you feel guilty for being happy?" I asked, shooting her a look.

She merely shrugged, clearly feeling uncomfortable.

"You should never feel guilty for that," I sighed, nudging her with my shoulder. "And I would never hate you for being happy, Lily-bean. It's what I want for all of us. Just because things worked out for you in the end and not for the rest of us, doesn't mean I'm going to hate you for it."

Lily hesitated. "But you'll hate Riley for it?"

My gaze grew rigid. "You're not the one who abandoned everyone in the middle of the night."

She didn't say anything.

I sighed. "I'll learn to let it all go eventually. I know that I have to. Just…just not yet."

A small hesitant smile spread across her face. "Alright, that's fair."

"Of course it is. It's life that's not," I teased, throwing my arms around her shoulder playfully.

"Well, y'got that right," she muttered sadly. She turned to look at me and I saw burden in her eyes. She was silent but I could tell she had something to say. Finally, she pursed her lips and spoke. "Sirius, I-I have to tell you something."

That didn't sound good. "Okay..." I said hesitantly.

She was about to continue, but it was another female voice that rang out instead.

"Does your ex-boyfriend know you're screwing his best friend behind his back?"

Both of us froze at the sound of that bone-chilling voice, slowly turning around to face a black-masked, hooded witch.

We both knew that behind that mask was the face of Bellatrix Black.

And behind her appeared five more masked wizards. We were outnumbered three-to-one and I could see on Lily's face that she had done the easy math as well.

It was then that I replayed Bellatrix's words in my head and wondered how the hell she could have possibly known Lily and James had broken up.

But that was an issue for another time. "Why the anonymity?" I sneered, instinctively shielding Lily. "I think I'd know my own cousin's voice."

She cackled, slowly removing the mask from her face to reveal her smirking self. "We like to travel in style but I wouldn't expect you to understand that."

I rolled my eyes, although I was very aware that the witty banter wasn't going to get me out of this tricky situation like it might have back in Hogwarts. I didn't have the castle walls or Dumbledore or watchful professors to protect me anymore. It was just me, Lily, and our wands against six murderers.

At this point, I was just praying we could make it out alive.

Why the hell didn't we just apparate to Blarney's? That was a question I'd be asking myself for a long time.

"Miss Evans, did you really expect a farce of a break-up to trick the most powerful wizard of all time?"

"Didn't realize Dumbledore was tricked," I snapped, wondering what on earth she was possibly talking about.

"What the hell are you talking about, Bellatrix?" Lily finally chimed in, miming my exact thoughts.

"No," she said with a sneer. "No more talking, Evans. It's time we end this once and for all."

"End wh-" she didn't finish her sentence as the six Death Eaters raised their wands into the air and attacked us both with a series of spells. She ducked in time but as I was standing in front of her, an orange light hit me square in the shoulder and suddenly my robes were on fire.

"Aguamenta," Lily hissed before I even had time to process what was going on. She grabbed my arm and we raced off towards the small patch of forest to our right.

"You can run, but you can't hide! Crucio!"

Lily let out scream as she was hit square in the back by the spell. She quickly tumbled to the ground but thankfully I was able to break the connection quickly before any true damage could occur. I had a feeling I wouldn't be so lucky in the rest of the duel.

"Patronus someone," she said, out of breath, as she scrambled off the ground. She threw her wand over her shoulder and shouted, "Stupefy!"

We couldn't be sure if it hit anyone as we continued to race through the forest.

I pressed my wand into my hand, the first person springing to mind being Sydny, but before I could get the thought out, a choking spell was slashed across my throat. I stumbled towards the ground, grasping at the wisps of constricting air around my neck.

"Sirius!" Lily gasped, stepping in front of me to break the spell. Which was life-saving for me but got her on the receiving end of two flashes of light. Before I could even comprehend what spells had actually hit her, she was letting out an earth-shattering scream and being lifted from the ground just to be smashed into a tree.

"LILY!" With all of this screaming, wasn't anyone around to hear us and call for help?

I heard her groan from the few feet away from me, a sign that at least she was still alive, and I quickly ran to her. Her eyes were drooping slowly into a state of unconsciousness. "Lily, no," I whispered into her ear, crouching down beside her. "You've got to stay awake. C'mon, stay with me."

Her eyes strained to stay open as she felt the back of her head. When she pulled her hand away, a pool of blood covered it.

"You can't save her, Sirius," my cousin sneered as she grew closer to us. Glancing up quickly, I saw that the Death Eaters were closing in around us. We really were going to be trapped in less than five minutes. "Nothing can. She's on top of Voldemort's hit list even with James' pathetic attempts at shielding her. But nothing fools the Dark Lord and in the end, James freaking Potter has just put a larger target on her."

At this point, I actually hoped Lily was unconscious to avoid hearing the truth about James' break-up with her. And at that moment, I wanted to throttle James for thinking he could solve everyone's problems by attempting to be noble.

As the Death Eaters grew nearer, I screamed, "Expulso!" and pointed my wand towards two of the Death Eaters. The jet of light hit two trees and they splintered immediately. The force of the explosion slammed one of the Death Eaters into the ground with a sickening crunch. I didn't bother spending time staring at him to see if he was unconscious or not as I pressed my wand into my hand and whispered, "Patronus Declamo Auror Department. Being attacked. Need help." A dog flew out of the end of my wand and sped through the air. I prayed it would get to someone, anyone, and help would be on its way.

Hopefully before both of us were dead.

I could see the fury in Bellatrix' eyes grow as she appeared only a few feet away. The other Death Eaters were only a couple steps behind her but I was grateful when I glanced down at Lily to see her slowly climbing off the ground, but the large gash on her head looked painful. And based on her wincing, I had a feeling it didn't just look painful, it felt painful.

I was about to ask how she felt but before I could, she threw her wand over my shoulder and cried out, "Diffindo!"

A slash went across Bellatrix' face and she let out an irritated growl as Lily grabbed my hand and started rushing the other way. "We can't take them, Sirius," she said in a hushed frightened whisper. "We might be good duelers but we can't on five people at once. We'll die if we try."

"Then keep running," I pleaded, winding through the bare trees on Lily's heel.

"Stupefy!"

"Diffindo!"

"Crucio!"

"Bombarda!"

"Suffacato!"

"Arahambra!"

Curses spilled from all of our mouths and jets of lights were flying everywhere. I was hit with some sort of stinging jinx and slashing curse, Lily's neck was attacked by the Choking Curse and she was hit in the back with another fire spell that I frantically put out, and I was just thankful that based on the numerous groans coming from behind me that the Death Eaters were hit with some of our curses even while we kept running for our lives.

And suddenly the forest went silent. The Death Eaters disappeared and the curses stopped. I turned to look at Lily, who was gazing behind her shoulder in pure confusion as she attempted to catch her breath. When we both slowed down, we realized why the forest had seemingly died down.

We were nearing the edge of a cliff and had nowhere else to go.

As we turned around, I swear I could see the smirks on those bloody Death Eaters' faces even in the vast darkness as they made their way towards us.

"You're trapped now," a deep voice cackled. I was pretty sure it belonged to Rodolphus Lestrange.

"I told you that you could run but couldn't hide," Bellatrix smirked. "You should really learn to listen to me."

"Any last words?" another deep voice spoke out. It sounded vaguely like Mulciber if I could truly recall my Hogwarts days.

"Yeah," Lily snapped. "Stupefy!"

Bellatrix deflected the spell easily and shot another Choking Curse our way. We both ducked and Lily sent a Severing Charm towards Bellatrix. This time it slashed her chest chest and she let out a raspy growl as she keeled over slightly.

"Didn't realize the princess actually had fight in her," Bellatrix sneered in a hushed, angry tone. "Rodolphus, get her."

Well that confirmed that Rodolphus was one of the Death Eaters under the masks. "Expulso!" I cried before Rodolphus could do anything to truly harm Lily.

One of the Death Eaters screamed as a chunk of his arm was blasted off. He fell to the dirt, the pain evident in his cries.

"Suck it up, Dolohov!"

Doesn't Bellatrix have such a pleasant demeanor?

Two Death Eaters down. Four more to go.

"Suffacato!" one of the unidentified Death Eaters shouted and a wisp of air wrapped around Lily's throat. She tried bringing her wand up to send a spell back, but she couldn't speak.

"Expelliarmus!" I shouted for lack of anything better to say and the wand flew from the Death Eater's hand towards me.

Lily gasped for air as the wisp around her neck was broken. The look she sent my way was one of defeat and helplessness. It was obvious to the both of us that these Death Eaters were solely after her and I was merely just some plaything that could be discarded once they finished her off. I wanted so desperately to be able to save her but this battle was not in my favor. Even on my best days, I didn't know how to conquer four Death Eaters on my own.

"Alahambra!" Rodolphus' voice screamed out and both Lily and I were blasted off our feet towards the ground. I had to grab Lily's hand before she teetered off the edge of the cliff directly behind us.

Bellatrix laughed. "You'll be making my job easier if you just plummet to your death, Evans. Crucio!"

I tried to shield the spell but one of the other Death Eaters blasted us and Lily and I both went flying in separate directions. Lily writhed on the ground, her screams hitting my ears like a dagger to the heart as I slammed into a tree. I had to blink away the pain, the forest blurring in front of me. I refused to slip into unconsciousness no matter how much my head was throbbing and my back was bleeding with cuts.

"Lily," I whispered, the word barely above a whisper on my tongue. I slowly dragged myself over to her as Bellatrix cackled and continued torturing her with the Cruciatus Curse. When Lily's screams died down I knew it wasn't because the spell had been lifted. It was because she was unconscious.

Or worse, dead.

Dammit, we were just supposed to go to Blarney's for a bloody drink and now we were fighting for our lives. How did this happen?

Why didn't we just apparate?

"Say good-bye to your friend, Sirius," I heard Bellatrix smirk as a Stunning Spell hit me square in the chest. "And hell, you might as well say good-bye to yourself, too."

"Bellatrix, we've got company!"

I saw a sea of faces I recognized – Moody, Sydny, Alice, & Fabian – running in our direction, but before I could let out any sigh of relief, my head hit the dirt and everything went black.

---

A/N: A little bit of everything! Some Peter-Voldemort action. Sirius-Keegan confrontation. James-Riley conversations. James-Lily moments. Order business. And it all ends with yet another attack on Lily's life. What more could anyone want?