Chapter Thirty Five: I've Stood Where You Stand

Harley

I had missed the cool air of the mountain as soon as I hit the bottom. We were only there for two days, but it felt like an eternity covered in the white snow and the sheer calmness of the place.

Well, if you can get past all the nightkin. It really wasn't hard to, as Arcade and I kept to ourselves most of the time and the nightkin didn't talk much. It was tranquil, quiet, dark. More peaceful than anywhere else I had been recently.

But now, as I was sprinting towards the 38, Legion in disguise in tow, I was really regretting the decision to come back. Securitrons were alerted by my screaming at them, and they immediately started firing. Rex stayed behind, viciously tearing at one's leg until he fell down. Just my luck. The one day I leave without any weapons and there are Frumentarii all over Vegas. In fact, I wondered who was Legion and who wasn't. They just looked like normal gamblers roaming the Strip. They could be a male stripper in disguise, or a drunk guy in an NCR uniform.

I reached the Lucky 38 with Victor behind me, shakily unlocked the door, almost dropping the key a few times like those stupid girls in horror holotapes. Once inside, I heard the securitrons yelling at the Legion to stand down as I took a minute to catch my breath before hopping into the elevator. Arcade mentioned earlier that I needed to do some rehab for my arm, but after that, I didn't feel like doing anything. I couldn't even do some shit out on the Strip without getting spotted and hunted down. Which wasn't very clever on their part - now everyone knew they were Legion.

"Welcome home Little Jimmy!" Lily boomed from the kitchen. Oh, yeah. I may have brought home a super mutant grandmother.

"Hey, mom?" Kennedy called as I passed the common room. I didn't even see her there, I was just so focused on getting undress and lying down.

"Hey, what's up?"

As I walked into the room, I could smell the scent of sickness. Looking at Kennedy, she was covered in blankets and shivering while sweat poured down her forehead. I grabbed her, carrying her firemen's style to the bathroom in my bedroom. Once there, I ran a bath as hot as I could without burning her, and helped her slip into the water. Her lips moved, but I didn't hear anything except groans. Gently, I brushed her hair back out of her eyes and sang the song Veronica sang to me about the mockingbird.

"I miss Dad."

"Me too."

Boone

"You love her, right?" Joshua asked as I lay on his cot in his cave, shaking and sweating. I didn't want to open my mouth in fear of throwing up. I nodded at him. "Well then, surely, this can't be as bad as the condition you left her in?" I didn't know. I couldn't even shrug as a response. "Just know that what you're going through right now is for your betterment. So you can go home and be the father and husband they need."

My breath was coming in short gasps, "I need water," was the only thing I could croak out. His leathery hand tipped my head forward as he brought the bottle to my lips. I drank it all in two or three gulps before he discarded it at the other side of the room. When I tried to thank him, he merely shushed me and pulled an animal fur over my sweaty body.

"Sweat out the fever," he said, "I'll be over here if you need anything."

X

After delivering the walkie talkies, the compass, the lunch boxes and the sterilized medical supplies, I had to go and kill the yao guai or destroy the cave they were in.

"Most of them are outside of the cave," Follows Chalk pointed out as we stood atop a ridge across from the cave.

"Get down," I said, setting up my rifle and lying on my stomach. Follows Chalk sat down, crossing his legs and staring at me expectantly. I wasn't sure what exactly he was waiting for, so I ignored him, even as he started poking through my bag and asking questions about everything he pulled out. A picture of Carla, a picture of Harley and Kennedy, the half empty bottle of Buffout, the whiskey I took earlier, a few more guns with ammo, some bobby pins, a screwdriver...

I took a shot, hitting the biggest yao guai in the head. Follows Chalk kept going, and I kept shooting. Eventually, all of my stuff was on the ground and all the yao guai were dead. I looked over at him, and he stared at me with this goofy grin on his face.

"You're a good shot!" He said.

"NCR First Recon. Best shot around."

"NCR?"

"Uh, it's the army, out in California and Nevada. They're not out this way."

"Oh. Okay. Who's the women in the pictures?"

I looked over at the pictures, Carla and I on our wedding night, and Harley and Kennedy the night they escaped the Fort. Harley had dirt and blood caked on every part of her body, and they both looked tired and scared, but I loved the picture. It was so relieving and encouraging to look at. We had gotten out of a seemingly impossible situation – because of Harley. Kennedy was with us – because of Harley. It was all because of her, and she didn't even realize what an impact she made. It's not like you can even try to tell her, she won't listen either.

"So, this one your wife?" He pushed the picture of Carla towards me.

I nodded, "yeah. She...died a while back. Legion caught her. Killed her myself so she didn't have to live like that." It was easier to talk about Carla now, even with the lump in my throat.

"Why didn't you just take her back?"

"Too many Legion. She was being sold at an auction. She was pregnant."

"I didn't mean to bring it up. I'm sorry. Who are these two?"

"This one's Harley," I pointed to her still figured in the picture. She was facing the camera, but not actually looking at it. Instead, she was looking down at Kennedy, and Kennedy was looking towards the Cove, the bodies that littered the area around us were numerous and the dry ground had angrily lapped up the blood, making the sand a dark reddish brown color. We had kept destroying the Legion, and they kept coming back.

"You love her?" Follows Chalk asked.

"Yes," I said quietly, hoping he didn't notice the shaking in my voice.

"She is a strong woman. Strong women are among the highest ranking warriors around here. She a tribal?"

"Yeah. How can you tell?" By then, her mark had been shaved off, so there was no visual aid to tell him she was a tribal, except the tattoo on her back, which wasn't showing.

"She looks like some of the tribals in this area. Tall, skinny, muscular, long hair. She's probably someone of status."

"She was the chief's daughter. She's the Chief now."

"So...you're here, but she's not?"

I sighed, "Yeah. I don't remember what happened. Apparently I said some things I really shouldn't have. She told me to leave, and here I am."

"Must've been bad. You okay?"

"No."

Harley

"They're family. I know them better than anyone. They'll like you, don't worry," Veronica reassured me as we headed towards the Brotherhood of Steel bunker.

"Uh, I don't know, Veronica. Seems like a stretch. You said they send you on scavenging missions just to get rid of you."

"Well, everyone has different ways of coping."

"Veronica, that's not a way of coping..."

"Shut up, they'll love you. Just offer to do a bunch of stuff for them, that's all. They've probably heard of you from the radio, anyways."

She entered four numbers on a keypad outside of the bunker. The door creaked, sliding down into the ground, leading to yet again another doorway, and an abandoned campsite in between the two doors. As I poked around the old remains, Veronica yelled into the speaker.

"...Double brahmin burger, easy on the agave sauce this time!"

The man sighed loudly, "Veronica. We gave you a password for a reason. We'd appreciate it if you started using it."

"Make the milkshake a large!"

"Ugh, welcome back, Veronica," he said as the doors slid open to reveal a dark set of stairs illuminated by a dull yellow lighting that followed the steps downwards. It made me nauseous.

"Veronica, who the hell is this?" A gruff voice said from around the corner.

She whispered to me, "He must've been watching the tapes. I was hoping he wasn't."

The owner of the voice stepped around the corner, his greasy hair and unkempt beard made me even more nauseous.

"She's that courier on the radio, Ramos. The one that's been helping out."

"We can take care of ourselves."

"Obviously not," I rolled my eyes, "years of isolation because the NCR beat you? They took your toy away, so you threw a temper tantrum?"

"Stay out of it. I will not permit her any further, Veronica."

"No fair, Ramos! I'm gonna go see McNamara, I'm sure he'll love her!" Veronica stomped away. I stared at her, and then Ramos, who tapped his floor impatiently. I think he was waiting for me to go.

Veronica was hard to keep up with, and the bunker was full of twists and turns, often leading me into dead ends. Calling out Veronica's name just made people shy away from me, turn their backs, or glance down at the ground when I passed by. Eventually, I ended up in a room with a bunch of people in red coats who were bent down over what looked like blue prints. Some people were milling about the room, talking about various tactics used in war. I turned on my heel and walked back out.

"Hey, there you are!" Veronica snuck up on me. I quickly turned and put all my strength into my fist, aiming at her chest bone. With great speed, she caught my fist midair and put it back at my side.

"I'm sorry. I should've known that was going to scare you."

I stopped, resting my hands on my knees and sucked a breath in. I held it for seven seconds, and released it for eight. It was supposed to stop the flight-or-fight mode my body seemed perpetually stuck in. According to Arcade, anyways, and it did seem to work after doing it three or four times.

"Sorry. I'm okay. So where's this McNamara? We got separated. A lot of people here don't seem to like me..."

"They're not used to outsiders, that's all. Don't worry about it, I think you're great."

"Veronica, you think everyone's great."

"That's not true! Boone sucks."

I sighed, "Yeah. He does."

"Are you okay?"

"No."

Boone

"How do you think she feels, right now?" I asked, sipping at the bitter tea Joshua made for me.

"I know nothing about her. You tell me."

Before I knew it, the words cascaded from my mouth, "she's amazing. One time, we broke into Caesar's Fort and she managed to get Kennedy out of there and bring her home. She's been shot in the head twice, two different occasions and she got up and walked away both times. When I met her, she helped me find out who sold my wife to Legion, and then she invited me to come with her. We traveled to see her tribe, here in Utah, only to discover that they had been taken by the Legion. It was all a big plot to get Harley to work for Caesar. She said no and he whipped her until she agreed, but she still set him up. Instead of destroying the securitrons under the Fort, she activated them."

I could see the smile touch his eyes, "she's indeed a strong woman," he pushed another cup of tea towards me, "the tribe uses it as a home remedy for morning sickness." Wow, I wish I could've seen my face. But it was working, keeping me calm and relieving my shakes.

"It's working, though."

"Yes. Yes it is. The tribe doesn't do anything like Jet or Buffout. They've found plants that are just as good as hallucinogens. They boil them into tea."

"Oh. That's...interesting."

He nodded, "tell me more about her. Your spirit seems to uplift when you do."

X

It had been about a month since I arrived at Zion. I learned a lot about the land, a lot more than I would've liked, to put it bluntly. It's not that it was bad, per se, but it was more work than I would've thought. The tribals here were hard working men and women, honest, too. It was just that, like Harley, they didn't know when to stop. But neither did the White Legs. There were times when we would have to move the sick and the children off into Joshua's cave at ridiculous times of the night because of raids and attacks. There were also times when I was awoken by the sounds of feet splashing through water, moving on to the next White Leg camp.

I had traveled many times with Waking Cloud, a fierce woman who bested a yao guai and earned herself a gauntlet made from its claws. Daniel had told me that her husband was one of the first to die escaping the Grand Staircase - he was attacked by White Legs. For a few nights, I struggled with the information he had given me - do I tell Waking Cloud? She hadn't the faintest idea, but she was desperate to know. I felt bad...what if it had been Harley or Kennedy? I'd want them to know. So I told her. We didn't speak for a few days, and no one around camp had seen her. Eventually, I found her sitting atop the waterfall. When I sat down with her, she put a hand on my shoulder and was silent for about an hour before thanking me.

Since then, Waking Cloud had never left my side. She told me all about her children, and how she had almost died delivering her third born. Daniel saved her and the baby, and he taught her Mormonism. She was one of his first converts, and her and Daniel were close. Since he taught her to properly deliver babies, she became a midwife.

So I decided to tell her all about Carla and Harley and Kennedy. And often, when I couldn't sleep at night, she would lie silently across from me and listen to me talk. It made me miss Harley more.

I invited Follows Chalk and Waking Cloud to come back to Vegas with me. Waking Cloud was upset at Daniel for concealing the truth about her husband, although she said she understood. Everything she looked at reminded her of him, and she wanted to leave. Follows Chalk had said several times that he was conflicted between staying with his tribe or leaving to make a name for himself somewhere else. Waking Cloud refused, knowing Harley was there, but Follows Chalk wanted to think on it.

The day when we were to fight the White Legs was drawing near, and we planned to get them to safety before fighting them back. Many of the Sorrows and Dead Horses believed the land had been soiled by the Legion's hatred and living there would not be the same, but as far as I know, most of them didn't want to leave.

Tonight, we were on a mission to destroy the war totems erected by the White Legs. Waking Cloud said that if their totems go missing before battle, they consider it a bad omen, and will probably not participate in the upcoming battle.

I decided to go alone, since I believe I work better alone, and it's easier to sneak when you don't have to worry about someone else. I peeked around the corner of the boulder I was behind. The campfire crackled softly, and two White Legs sat with their backs towards me. Another was lying in a tent, and although he was facing me, I don't think he was awake.

Crouching down, I began to shimmy against the boulder until I couldn't anymore. I was relatively quiet, there weren't any twigs or branches on the ground, and it was covered in sand, so it was easy enough to just keep crouched and walk towards my goal. Once there, I plucked it out of the ground, watched as the one White Leg stood up, and stretched her legs before walking over to a tent. I went as quickly as my legs could take me in my crouched state with their totem in my hand before sliding it and myself into a crack in the wall, just as shouting began. They must've realized their totem was gone already. Damn it.

The camp next to them had the other totem I was supposed to take, and they were alerted by the White Legs from the other camp. They were talking in their language, sounding frantic and wandering about, looking for their totem. I wished I knew what they were saying.

I must've fallen asleep at some point, because I awoke, cramped and uncomfortable, when the sun came up. When I detached myself from the rocks, I noticed that my shakes weren't as bad today. I had been working it out with Joshua. Anytime I'd start to get shakes or urges for whiskey, Buffout, anything like that, I'd go into his cave and he'd make me tea. It was strong and bitter, didn't do anything for the shakes in my hands or the pounding in my head, but it made me calm down easier. I think. And then I'd sweat it out overnight on his cot. He wouldn't say anything, he'd just sit and watch, or clean his guns, or listen to my incoherent babble. If you told me now that this man was Joshua Graham, ex-Legate of Caesar, I'd laugh right in your face.

The White Legs at both camps were gone, so I pulled the other totem out of the ground and walked back to camp with it. On the way, a few White Legs stopped me, but I beat the one to death with a totem, and shot the other in the back while she was running.

The Sorrows cheered as I threw the totems down in the middle of camp. Another tribal lit them on fire, and they beat their drums and danced around, singing merrily.

"Daniel would like to see you," Waking Cloud interrupted my sarsaparilla. I nodded, setting it down beside me at the fire.

Even up on the ridge by the waterfall, we could hear the cheers and laughter of the Sorrows. Celebrating getting one over on their enemies. Their feats weren't in vain. Their lives were here, where they were born and raised.

"I'd like to start moving the Sorrows, first thing in the morning," Daniel said as I approached him, "unless you and Joshua have any objections?"