Author's Note: Oh, my darling readers! I know, I have been terrible again.
But have no fear, there are a few chapters that have come from my recent hiatus, so I hope you won't be too angry with me. As I said before, these next few chapters were giving me so much difficulty because I wanted them to be perfect. Hopefully, they were worth the wait as I start to get them out there. Thank you for being so patient and I hope you enjoy!
The only sound that can be heard is the clock ticking away on the mantle. I try to keep still and relaxed, as if glancing around the room will disturb the peace of the room. However, I can't resist as I let my eyes drift gently over the top of my book for a peek at Severus.
It's been a couple of days since our New Year's kiss, but there has been a subtle shift. We still have awkward silences and strange pauses as we try to find the right words to speak to each other, but I don't feel the apprehension that I did before we kissed. If anything, I have been bolder than normal.
On New Year's Day, we went to the Great Hall for the small feast being held. Although there is a single table, there is still a very prominent divide between teachers and students. However, Severus made it a point to sit next to me. I assume it was mostly to keep monitoring my food intake, but he didn't ignore me like he normally would have. Instead, he made a few comments through the meal and even included me in a conversation with Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick. It was like we were operating as a couple rather than two strangers sitting next to each other.
After the wonderful food and lively conversation, I could feel my eyes growing heavy. As we left and headed back to our chambers, I mentioned that I needed a nap. He actually chuckled and commented that I should sleep while I could since it wouldn't be long before I wouldn't be able to nap when I wanted. When we arrived back at the our chambers, he escorted me to my room like a boy would walk a girl home from a date. Maybe it was the food or my sleepiness, but I couldn't resist reaching up and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
He didn't flinch away or try to stop me when I did it again that evening after our chess game. I bid him a good night and bent over his chair to peck him on the cheek. He seemed to actually lean into it. I was sure he would comment on it the following morning, but he didn't. In fact, as I walked in our small kitchen, he placed an arm on my shoulder and gave me gentle peck on the top of my head.
Now that we are in the living room reading, I can't seem to focus on my book as I steal a glance or two at him. The kiss from New Year's wasn't unpleasant. It wasn't passionate either. It was simple and relaxed, but felt right. Something clicked and I have spent nearly all my free time wondering what it would be like to kiss again.
As I watch him across the room, I'm can see there are things that are not so repulsive about him. He is not necessarily handsome, but I do enjoy his features. Since the war, his skin doesn't seem so sickly even though he is still quite pale. His nose is his most prominent feature, but it somehow fits his face. His eyes are my favorite feature to look at though. They are so dark, almost black, but have something in them that draws me in. It's probably part of the reason why he is such a great Legilimens.
Before I can break my gaze, a knock echoes through the living area. I start to rise, but he just waves his hand.
"I'm closer," he points out. "I'll get it." I nod in agreement and watch him glide to the door with ease. His eyebrows raise slightly as opens the door.
"Mrs. Weasley," he greets. I stiffen for a second until I hear the response.
"You know you can just call me Hermione."
"Perhaps when you are no longer a student," he suggests.
She shrugs as she steps through the threshold. "Technically, we are related. I don't suppose you call anyone in your family by their last name?"
Severus presses his lips together. "No, I suppose if any of them were still alive, I would not." Hermione looks slightly ashamed, but he just waves her off. "I suppose it will just have to be something I work on… Hermione." Hermione grins triumphantly at his pointed use of her name.
"Hey," I greet, standing up from the couch. "What are you doing here?"
"Your mother sent me with the gifts you left behind at Christmas and some of the leftover food."
"Oh, I completely forgot about them," I admit. Truthfully, I haven't thought about anyone except Severus.
"Well, she thought you needed some space, but since Ron and I were coming back to the school today, it seemed pointless to send them by owl. I would have waited, but there is nowhere for Ron and I to keep the food, except in our room. But you know he'll just devour everything in one day," she explains.
"I can imagine," I laugh. I motion for her to follow me into the kitchen as Severus settles back into his chair.
Once in the kitchen, she pulls out her beaded bag and begins pulling out tins of biscuits, dishes of casserole, and containers of soup and stew. My mouth practically waters just thinking about all the delicious food I missed after I left.
It takes no time at all to find a place for everything, so I suggest we go to my bedroom to unload the gifts. She shuts the door behind her and proceeds through the same process of unpacking gifts and restoring them to their original size. Most are for me, but I spy a couple for Severus, including one lumpy on from my mom that is almost certainly a sweater. I stifle a laugh just thinking about his reaction.
"So how are you?" Hermione finally asks.
"I'm fine. I guess I should have let Mum know that I wasn't coming back," I say.
"She said you owled her," Hermione frowns.
"I didn't..." I start to say, then shake my head as I realize it. "Severus must have sent a note so she wouldn't worry."
"I see," Hermione nods. "So I take it you and he worked things out?"
"Sure," I shrug casually. I can tell her curiosity is starting to get the better of her, so I hide my smirk. She narrows her eyes for a second, then flicks her wand at the door, simultaneously warding it and casting a silencing charm.
"Okay, spill it," she demands. I give her an innocent look, but she doesn't buy it. "Come on Ginny. You announce you are pregnant, then storm out of your mother's house, looking like you are going to kill your husband, but we get a note later saying that everything is fine. Then I come to check on you today, expecting to find you two still at odds with each other, but instead, your husband banters with me as he lets me in and you look calmer than I've seen you in months. Something is going on here."
"Nothing is going on," I finally relent with a smile. "We are just… learning to be together."
"Fine," she rolls her eyes. "I get that you want to keep it private. But we at least have to talk about this baby. When did you find out? How long has have you known? How did Professor Snape react? It that why you've been acting strange?"
"Okay, okay," I hold my hands up in surrender. "How much time do you have?"
She plops on my bed and smirks. "For this? All the time in the world…"
Ginevra and her friend are gossiping about me, I know it. Why else would she ward the door and cast a silencing charm?
Oddly enough, it doesn't irritate me as much as it might have a few months ago. I'm more embarrassed about the fact that she is probably talking about our physical contact over the last few days.
I don't regret kissing her at the manor. It was rather thrilling. I honestly can't say there was a spark or the metaphorical fireworks to go with the real ones above our head, but it was the perfect way to start the new year. And the fact that she has continued to give light pecks on my cheeks over the last few days tells me that she agrees.
Funny, it almost seems like we are dating. Dating is not really a subject I consider myself an expert on, but this all seems to be how it would have gone had there been more time before we got married. Or how it would have gone if we had just made better use of the time we were given.
I can feel her eyes stealing glances when she thinks I'm not paying attention. It takes every bit of my willpower to not look into those caramel eyes and search for the reason. While it is obvious that I am not repulsive to her, I can't help but chalk her feelings up to hormones. I'd like her to want to continue to explore this relationship, but I have to remind myself to be cautious. Our circumstances could be tricking us into thinking we are feeling something that is not really there.
As I try to settle back with my book, the fireplace flares green. Lucius steps through and settles on the couch as if it is his living room he walked into.
"Lucius," I drawl without lifting my eyes, "How nice of you to join me. Tell me, how could you possibly have known I was even here at the moment?"
He shrugs with a smirk. "Lucky guess?"
"Don't fuck with me," I snap my book shut. "You never visit me and when you do, you make it a point to come through the grounds and take a meeting with the Headmistress."
"Fine, you caught me," he raises his hands in surrender. "I was here visiting the Headmistress to deliver news before it hits the papers tomorrow. She was happy enough to offer to let me floo over directly from her office."
"And what news would that be?"
"The Wizengamot has given extra funds to Hogwarts to allow for students with children to continue with their education after giving birth. Students who give birth during the school year will be given a set portion per month to go towards childcare, food, clothing, nappies, and other needs for the child. The hope is that the students will not be forced to drop out of school in an attempt to find jobs to support their offspring," he explains.
"Sound reasonable," I state indifferently. Wasn't the news I was hoping for, but it is a step in the right direction. Since Ginevra is not due until the school year ends, this news does not have any real effect on me. "I can understand your visit to the Headmistress, but why come see me? You know I will be at the manor on Sunday for drinks."
"Can't I visit you just because you are my friend?" I give him a pointed look, so he rolls his eyes. "Fine. Truth be told, I was curious how things were going with you and Ginevra."
"Fine."
"Really?"
"You are being nosey."
"I saw you kiss her."
This time I roll my eyes. "Well, she is my wife."
Lucius lets out a bark of laughter. "I'm well aware of that. However, I would venture to say that your kiss at my party was the first one you two have shared."
"Voyeur," I scoff.
"Come on, Severus," he persists. "I'm not trying to tease you or make you feel uncomfortable. From my view, the pair of you looked happy. There is no shame in admitting that things are going well."
A sigh escapes me and I rub my temples. "Yes," I admit, "things are going well, or at least as well as they can for the moment. We kissed and are still getting along, so that is good. She kisses me on the cheek before bed and that is it."
"See? You are making progress," he declares definitively.
"Of course, we are," I snap. "That was the point."
"So what's the problem?" he asks seriously. "Why are you being so… hostile?"
"I'm annoyed, not hostile," I argue. He gives me a pointed look, so I sigh again. "I just don't want to jinx it or get too ahead of myself. We seem to always make progress and then fall right back to where we were. I don't want to do that again."
"Hey, I get it and I understand," Lucius reassures me. "But I think this time is going to be different though. You two seem to finally be on the same page. Nothing you say is going to mess that up. You just need to make sure you don't overthink it too much. That seems to be when things start to go awry."
Before I can reply, I hear voices in the hallway. Lucius and I turn to see Ginevra escorting her friend down the hallway. They both freeze mid stride.
"Ginevra," Lucius greets cordially, "And Miss Granger, right?"
"Weasley," they answer in unison. Hermione reaches to her forearm instinctively. Ginevra eyes the spot and looks at me as if she is trying to communicate something to me.
"Right, forgive me," Lucius apologizes with a smile. From the way Ginevra is boring her eyes in me, the realization of the situation dawns on me- the night Bellatrix carved MUDBLOOD in her arm occurred at Malfoy Manor while Lucius was watching. It must still haunt her friend.
"Lucius was just visiting the Headmistress and stopped by to say hello," I rush to explain, hoping to break the tension. I turn to Lucius and give him a hinting look. "I believe he was just leaving."
"Right," Lucius agrees loudly. I can see him shift uncomfortably as the realization dawns on him as to exactly why Ginevra's friend would feel uncomfortable. "Well, then I'll see you Sunday, Severus."
"No! Wait! It's fine. It's fine," Hermione says hurriedly. "I should be going. I'm… yeah. I'll see you later, Gin." She rushes past me and flies out the door before Ginevra can even bid her goodbye.
"I'm really sorry, Ginevra," Lucius apologizes miserably. "I didn't mean to run your friend off. I take full responsibility-"
"No, it's okay," Ginevra reassures him. "She knows you are no longer an enemy. The war was… terrible and some parts are just harder to get over than others. But I don't think she is trying to hold it against you. I think you just caught her off guard today."
"Of course, I understand," he nods solemnly. For the first time in a long time, I see the remorse and defeat left from the war. "Please let your friend know, I do not wish to have this… divide between us. Especially now that our connection is closer than ever."
"I will," she agrees. "I didn't get a chance before to tell her about your willingness to make amends, so this will give me the perfect opportunity."
"Excellent," he smiles. Glancing at the two of us, he gives me a knowing smirk before taking his leave. "And I really should get back. Have a nice day!"
"Bye," I reply as he grabs a pinch of floo powder off the mantle and steps into the flames. Turning back to Ginevra, I ask, "Perhaps you should find your friend now? She looked a little distraught."
Ginevra shakes her head. "I'll find her tomorrow. She needs time to think it over. That's what she does. However," she changes the subject, "there is something I've been meaning to ask you." I tilt my head to signal her to continue. "I was wondering if I could have permission to… hug her?" She blushes deeply.
"Hug her?" I repeat.
"Yes," she answers looking slightly embarrassed. "We are really good friends and she is a hugger. It has been really hard for her to not give me a hug with the ring and there are times that I want to give her one back. And when I do talk to her about Lucius, she might need a hug…"
I suddenly find myself embarrassed. How could I have not thought of it sooner? "Of course," I quickly answer. "She's your friend. You should be able to hug her freely if that is what you wish. I said before the rings were not meant to sever our ties to friends of the opposite sex, but they shouldn't with our same sex friends either."
"Oh," she suddenly looks thoughtful, "I see what you mean. I give you permission to hug Lucius too."
A bark of laughter escapes me, but Ginevra visibly relaxes as I ask, "Hug Lucius? Me?"
She suddenly laughs with me. "Yes, now that you say it, I know it sounds ridiculous that you would ever hug anyone. But the option to hug Lucius is there if you want it," she replies. She rolls her eyes humorously and settles back on the couch with her book.
As I take my seat again, I can't help but feel slightly wistful. I would much rather hug her than Lucius. Perhaps one day she will agree to give permission for that.