'Alexis are you sure you're feeling okay?'

Alexis looked over at her husband from her spot on the couch as she watched Shane get ready for his night of cards at the loft with Dave, Ryan, Esposito and Castle. She loved him with all her heart and it annoyed her severely that she could hear herself spouting and snapping at him yet seemed to have no control over the filter mechanism between mouth and brain.

'Shane, I swear baby,' she said with strained patience, rubbing her bulbous stomach, 'you need to go.'

'I don't need to go, I can-'

'Drive me crazy by constantly hovering.' Alexis arched an eyebrow, pulled out the heavy artillery. 'Do you want a rep like Ryan had when Jenny was pregnant with Dell?'

'No,' he replied immediately, then sighed. 'I've nervous, okay? There I said it. I'm a freaking basket-case.'

'Which is exactly why you need to go play with your friends tonight.'

'Can I have junk food too?'

'Sure, just don't make yourself sick.'

Shane laughed, then came over to rub her belly before laying his lips lightly against hers. 'I love you so much. Both of you.'

'We love you too. No go have some fun.'

Shane kissed her once more, then headed out to catch the subway to the loft. The guilt stuck to him like gum on the bottom of his shoes, which made him wrinkle his nose up as Alexis' voice sang its little song in his head. If he was like this when she was simply pregnant, what would he be like when the baby was actually here? When it was time to go out for a parents' date night? Or when the baby was going to school? Growing up, living a life.

'Okay, you need to chill out,' he told himself in the elevator. 'You're a grown up and going to be a father, and most importantly, you are not veering into Kevin Ryan territory.'

But the moment he was in the loft and listening to Esposito and Ryan talk about their kids, he was feeling rather icky again. Yes, he decided, he was going to be seven years old and used words on himself like 'icky' tonight.

'Man, Max is just getting cuter by the day,' Ryan commented, scooping up spinach dip onto a tortilla, then grinned when he saw Shane come in. 'Hey big papa, you gotta hear this one.'

'Max being adorable?' Shane inquired, looking with longing at the beer and wishing he could have one; he'd sworn off booze for a bit since his stomach kept turning flippy-flops at just about everything Alexis did these days. Another sign he needed to relax.

'He has been on the Internet with Tessi looking up information about famous people born in September.'

'Really?' The idea of it tickled Shane, that the kids were getting so involved in the baby's life before it was even kicking. 'What did they find?'

'Prince Harry, Charlie Sheen, Beyonce, Stephen King, and Andrea Boccelli were the main contenders with a little assistance from Meredeth.'

'What brought that on?' he asked.

'We were at Whole Foods in Union Square and Max heard some girls ahead of us in line talking about birthdays, and how one of them had the same birthday as Mere,' Esposito explain, 'so Max wanted to know what famous people your baby will be sharing a birthday with.'

'How's it going so far?' Ryan, ever the subtle one, wandered over with a couple of crackers full of dip. 'You guys started on names or a nursery or anything yet?'

'No,' Shane snapped. 'We haven't yet.'

'Whoa, buddy it's okay, just thought you guys would have-'

'Well we haven't.'

'Shane?' Esposito gave him a look. 'Are you okay?'

'No, I'm...I'm fine.'

'Bullshit.'

'I'm fine.'

Rather than get into a yes-no-yes-no arguement with his friend, Esposito went to the sideboard and found the Reed's ginger-beer that Shane enjoyed. He looked up when Castle sidled up, putting a plate of sandwiches down. 'Everything alright?'

'Your son-in-law is getting that I-just-want-Alexis-safe edge in his voice. He needs his men.'

'Ah.'

Esposito returned with the drink for the nerved-out daddy to be and wrapped an arm around his shoulders; it was a little awkward since Shane was about three inches taller than him. 'Sit,' he instructed him, steering him towards a chair. 'Speak.'

'I'm not Tortuga.'

'No, but you need to get this out, or you'll turn into Ryan.'

'Hey!' Ryan started to protest, then shook his head. 'Nah, he's right, dude. You don't wanna be me when you're a first-time daddy. I drove Jenny up a wall and she already had her hormones doing that for her. You need to relax, bro, what's got you so warped out?'

'I'm just...I...I'm scared to death I'm going to suck at this.'

'At what, being a daddy? Not possible.' Castle shook his head as he shuffled the deck. 'You are going to be an excellent father.'

'Castle, how do you know that?'

'Did you learn that from Kate?'

'What?'

'She still calls me Castle when she's cranky with me. But the point is, you will do much much better than you think you will.'

'But what if I don't warm the bottle properly and the baby gets sick? What if it bumps its head on teh crib because I didn't tuck it in properly? What if...' Shane tried to fight the crack in his voice. 'What if the baby likes Alexis better than me, and I can't comfort it when

'Welcome to being a first-time parent,' Esposito replied and pointed at the men around the table. 'Every last one of us would lie awake with these worries, and you think they're rough at forty-something, Castle did it the first time before he graduated university.'

'I'd gotten my degree but I hadn't actually received anything yet,' Castle explained to a silent Shane. He gave a little shrug. 'Evil Meredith wasn't into the whole college thing and she was intoxicating when we first met. After she left and it was me on my own with Alexis, I'd lie awake at night on those nights with my collicky daughter going how am I going to be good at this on my own?'

'Exactly,' Shane said, and then men exchanged understanding looks. 'What happens when the baby just wants mumum and not me? What do I do?'

'Hey, hey I'm here!'

Dave came through the door still in his work uniform, change of clothes in the backpack on his shoulder. 'Did I miss anything?'

'Shane is going through his 'will I be a good parent' paranoia stage,' Ryan informed him and Dave clapped a hand to his friend's shoulder.

'Totally natural, dude, but that's what we're for, to listen to you bitch and freak and then tell you stories of what we went through to make you feel better.' Dave looked around. 'Lemme change and grab a beer and you guys can catch me up.'