The Problem with Men and Me
"To be heavily intoxicated with alcohol to the point of not knowing where you are."
Chapter 36: Pissed
"Don't be silly, those things on Marlene's chest can hardly be called tits," Sirius had somehow managed to drag himself up from the floor and stumble after us, slinging an arm around my shoulders. He squeezed his thumb and forefinger together, squinting his eyes, "They're like… Ant bites, aren't they? " He looked down at my chest, a lazy grin groaning on his face. "Yours are nice, though. Not… not big, but not small, and really… just… nice."
"Um…" I felt my face heating up and I nudged him away a bit, "You're drunk, mate."
"No, m'not- Well, yes, m'a bit pissed, but- but," He licked his lips, while he struggled to get the words out, "but you still have really nice tits. No- no, not- not tits. Didn't mean to say't like that. Breasts. Boobies. Bosom. 'Dunno. Whatever word sounds most romantic."
Remus winced, taking Sirius's arm and hauling him off of me. "Right. Bed for this one. Think you can handle Marlene you too?" He asked Mary and me.
Mary's cheeks blushed, and she nodded, seeming to have lost her voice. "Yeah," I said, "We'll manage," I glanced up at Marlene, who was twirling her shirt over her head.
With a grunt, Remus nodded at us both and dragged Sirius, who was still babbling, off to the boy's dormitories.
I groaned, climbing on top of the table. A bunch of the guys started whistling and I glared at them, "Perverts, the lot of you," I told them, grabbing Marlene's shirt from her.
"Penny!" She shouted happily, throwing her arms around my neck, "Guys, this is Penny! Penny!" She giggled, slumping against my body and letting me wrap her blouse around her body.
"Come on, Mars," I told her, guiding her down from the table carefully. "Time for bed."
She pouted as Mary took her other arm, "But- but I'm not tired," she argued weakly, as the crowd that had gathered around the table began to disperse.
Mary shook her head; sighing heavily and helping me drag Marlene up the stairs. "You will be as soon as you lie down," She told her in an amused voice, lips twitching a little into a smile.
We were all laughing a little by the time we reached the dormitory and managed to tuck Marlene in. She was asleep almost instantly, collapsing against the pillows and snoring loudly.
"Well," said Mary, still giggling a little as she jerked the curtains around Marlene's bed shut. "That was an adventure."
I nodded my agreement, flopping onto my own bed, "Remind me never to drink. Merlin, people act like tossers when they're pissed."
"Sirius was…"
"Yeah," I said shortly, my head falling back against my pillows and focusing my eyes on the ceiling.
Mary sat on the edge of my bed, and I was glad it was just us here, Lily and Nancy must have still been down at the party. "… You okay?" She asked gently.
I shrugged, still staring at the ceiling, "Yeah. I mean. I dunno. I'm… fine. I just… don't know why he says things like that- even drunk. I mean- does he mean them? Or is he just babbling? Does he think those things when he's not drunk, or just…? I… Perdita says he likes me. That he told her when he broke up with her."
She was quiet for a long time. "I sort of… thought so. I have for a while."
"Oh," I answered, my eyes wide and focused on the ceiling. "Wow."