Summary: "We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out." - Winston Churchill
Notes: A certain tag has been added to reflect this chapter. Don't look up unless you want to spoil it! Also, I went back and edited all chapters took me 2 hours or so but I fixed the errors I made with Leliana's name and such.
I also fixed my version as well considering that one is my rough draft and looked super sloppy. I hope the fixes will be appreciated!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter TextMeeting the Champion of Kirkwall of all people was an immense honor in Evelyn's eyes. She owed a great deal to the Champion after her deeds in Kirkwall. Her stories branched out and reached the highest of towers. It was through Hawke's actions that lead other mages to rebel against those who held them down. Word spread of a lone rogue who sought to end the tyranny that was known as Meredith Stannard and the Circle which she stood so proudly by. It was amazing to hear of her feats. Her triumph over the rampaging Qunari threat. Hawke was an idol and Evelyn owed her such a great deal.
When Varric pushed Evelyn up the stairs after a bundle of hesitating sputtering on her end, Evelyn slowly approached the designated lookout point with glee. There standing back-faced but ever glowing from the sun's rays - a silhouette of the very woman Evelyn envied. It was a true turning point especially the way the Champion turned to respond to own name called. Everything was a slow-motion blur. Red apple lips, green glossy eyes, and skin so pale but fair one might think at first glance she too was a princess. Her clothing screamed that she was a fighter of some sorts however and as Evelyn got closer she noticed a painted red line bridged over Hawke's nose. The champion was no princess. Just a worn-torn beauty on a mission and she was as ever hypnotizing as they said. Evelyn just could not get the sight out of mind after seeing it. Especially when the Champion sported a raven black hairstyle - Evelyn's favorite color - mind you. Hawke's hair was long too but not overtly so - not like her own scarlet braided locks that dripped past her shoulders and down her back.
"Inquisitor, meet Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall." Varric's voice came from beside stating the obvious. Still, voice caught throat and Evelyn wondered if she would trip falling down the stairs from all the gawking.
After all this wasn't just some nobody! This was her – her idol– the woman Evelyn looked to for support and escape. She was the light at the end of the tunnel. A true full-fledged hero.
"Though I don't use that title anymore," Hawke responded, voice silky and smooth. A blush spread instantly across cheeks and Evelyn had a hard time adjusting to it all. It was Varric who made move first. He moved past Evelyn and down the steps over to Hawke's side. The two greeted each other with a hug before Varric then whirled around to point at the still very shocked Evelyn.
"Hawke, the Inquisitor, I figured you might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. You and I did fight him, after all."
Evelyn awkwardly raised left hand to bid hello. Hawke, however, turned away and leaned over balcony's edge.
"You've already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I'm sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison."
"T-That's not true!" Evelyn blurted out loudly and found her right hand reaching for staff. "Because of you – mages like me are-" She was cut off by the scraping noise from something overhead. Evelyn glanced up to see something coming down at her.
A silhouette of a warrior and not just any warrior an elf at that. His sword aimed to strike true. Evelyn gasped taking a step back but knew there wasn't much she could do to counter such a blow. Fire magic was the offensive type. Nothing to really block incoming projectiles. And while there was the option to use the Mark. Evelyn had barely had time to grasp how to use it herself. She just knew she had to point her left hand at things - and hopefully, things would just fall magically into place.
It was hard for Evelyn to imagine an assassination attempt now of all times especially when she was just finding her place in this makeshift world. But even now the world was already pushing against her – and Evelyn could only close her eyes and flee from it. A single panicked name came to mind – Ellana.
Evelyn eventually attempted to re-open eyes. She expected to find bloodied garments and the distant sounds of her new found friends dueling it out with such an unwelcome guest but instead nothing of the sort came. It was truly puzzling until after her eyes adjusted to its surroundings. Revealing darkness and yet through all of it Evelyn was able to take a steady breath knowing that she was truly safe. For Ellana was out again.
XXX
It was incredible how time seemingly slowed down between the shift but it was all that was needed for Ellana to retaliate. As soon as the spirit regained consciousness she conjured her mana to her side with free left hand and a Wall of Ice snapped up from the ground within seconds. The wall captured her attacker in its chilling grasp and once all had come into past - there were distant shouts that rang in her ears. They were not for her though instead rather for the person now entangled within her valent efforts.
"The Inquisitor is as dangerous as they say." Her attacker deadpanned from icy grasp and with such words Ellana felt lips twitch into a soft smile.
"And here I thought flowers were offered on the first date." Ellana responded as she turned to scowling Hawke. At seeing old ally's face her smile grew into a wider grin. "So much for coming alone."
Hawke shook her head at the sight before her.
"I assure you, Inquisitor, the feeling is mutual. All I can say is well – when it comes to me – Fenris is pretty hands-on." She joked.
"Hawke." Fenris scowled, a light redden tint appearing on cheeks as the two females shared a momentary laugh.
"Inquisitor, I know you must have been caught off-guard but I'd appreciate it if you forgive my partner just this once and well turn him loose."
"Of course," Ellana responded, flicking left hand to shatter spell, causing Fenris to fall to the floor beside her.
Fenris glared at her so darkly that Ellana felt own chill down the spine. "I see you haven't changed a bit." She commented.
"Oh," Hawke breathed out, "The two of you met before? Do I need to start swinging my daggers around to make sure that you know Fenris is strictly off-limits."
"You say that as if I would ever lower myself to find comfort in a Mage's arms Hawke." Fenris grit out as he rejected timely outstretched left hand from Ellana to help him up. Instead, he simply used the retrieved fallen blade to help himself back onto his feet before casting it back over shoulder as he eyed Ellana cautiously. "The more of them gone the better."
"Really Broody this is how you're going to introduce yourself?" Varric responded in disbelief. "And here you wonder why I never invite you to go out drinking."
"I'm just stating a fact dwarf."
"You know Fenris, not every mage is like Danarius." His eyes sharpened in an instant Danarius's name rolled off Ellana's tongue. The Lyrium-infused marking on his body glowed as his anger boiled over.
"What would you know of Danarius abomination! Speak now before I rip the heart from very chest!"
Ellana took a deep breath knowing she had crossed a line she hadn't meant to take and dropped staff on the ground as a signal to him that she wished to withdrawal statement.
"Fenris will you stop before you do something incredibly stupid that you'll surely regret!" Hawke snapped. "I'm pretty sure there is a logical explanation on why she knows about Danarius. Isn't that right, Varric?" She asked, her voice now dripping with venom. Varric felt a trail of sweat drip down forehead at the sudden shift of tone.
"I'm pretty sure I left that part out of my books Hawke. You were pretty clear about leaving everyone's personal life out of the script. Especially when you held a knife to my neck."
"I only held a knife to your neck Varric because you mentioned writing a sex-scene," Hawke responded whilst groaning at the reminder. "And that's hardly appropriate don't you think?"
"What?" Varric questioned, "Are you kidding? My reader's love that kind of shit. Especially more so when it concerns the main character. Don't you see Hawke - this is a highly requested thing."
"Well requested or not – it's my personal life – you have no business writing about it!"
"And I swear I didn't Hawke!"
"Enough!" Fenris cut in. He pulled his broadsword from his back once more and pointed up to Ellana threateningly. "You will tell us how you know of Danarius now - wench!"
"Because I was a slave once too," Ellana replied. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. "I had heard of Danarius and his closest – pet."
"I am no one's pet!" He screamed and Ellana winched in response. She had forgotten how sensitive Fenris was... A mistake that was now being splashed to face as Fenris came at her in full force.
Ellana barely dodged his swing as it cut loose her braided hair tie. Ellana found herself inwardly laughing at the sight as Fenris's blade had completely crushed the stone flooring below. His strength clearly unparalleled whenever his Lyrium-infused marks activated.
Red locks swung free as she called her mana to her once more as she took some steps back. Lighting tendrils wrapped around the right arm as a sparkling spirit blade appeared and despite this revelation Fenris still advanced forward. Honing in on Ellana as he swung his mighty broadsword down upon her. It was met with a countering blow by her right arm swinging underhand. Their two blades making an echoing clang into the air.
"And I am no one's slave!" She roared back at him with such furiously through his gritting teeth and murderous glowing gaze. With the loose outstretched shaky left hand she summoned a rift to his right which jerked him forcefully away and right over the side to where Varric and Hawke stood gaping like two fishes out of water.
Her limitations still ever clear. If she had real form - real body the pull might have flung him into one of the two. Yet now it was only pulling him directly to rift rather past. Frustrating but still ever effective but clearly not enough for Fenris gave motion to attempt refooting. Slowly he did eventually raise and even attempted to slash away the person who dared to grab his shoulder. Luckily he was utterly stunned when met with a strong backhanded blow to the face. The blade falling from hands as Lyrium blue markings faded to white.
"...Hawke." He breathed out as her met the look of his lover's scorned expression. "I...Didn't...I..."
"It's alright, I know Fenris...Just stop it would you. She's not our enemy." Hawke bit out as she pulled him to her and into a hug. "So please don't make me repeat myself and just stand down."
Fenris felt his eyes wander to his right to see Varric pulling Bianca of all things on him. He let out a sigh and finally relaxed into Hawke's embrace. Ellana who was on the sidelines during all of this breathed in relief allowing her own Mana to dissipate. Her sword eventually turning into hand as the sparks fizzled out.
Fenris took another deep sigh before turning back slowly to face Ellana with scowling lips.
His gaze held no regret for his actions but there was a look of clear displeasure within his orbs.
"Forgive me. Danarius is a sore subject."
Ellana responded with a very slow nod.
"Apologies. I did not mean to offend. I was just trying to make amends."
"In the future Evelyn," Varric spoke up whilst he was currently re-latching Bianca around his back. "Try being less mage-like around Broody. It will do you a favor in the long run. Trust me."
"He attacked me first though." Ellana muttered wearily as she rubbed her throbbing noggin. "...It scared a part of me."
"I assure you Fenris isn't scary in the least bit." Hawke commented. "A bit ticklish at best." Fenris scowled again as Hawke reached out and touched the mark on the side of his face. "Does it hurt?"
"I'm perfectly fine." He snipped, but surprisingly did not pull away.
"Bruised ego if anything." Varric added laughing, earning a sneer which Varric ignored promptly. "Man, did we get off on the wrong foot or what? Takes me back to the old days in Kirkwall."
"If only someone learned to stay at home when asked." Hawke added laughing as she patted Fenris's cheek teasingly before she pulled the hand away and placed it on Fenris right shoulder. "Speaking of which, now who's going to look after my dear favorite Dread Wolf when I'm gone?"
Ellana faltered at the name calling. Before she could even ask on the subject she was immediately cut off by Varric.
"I still can't believe you named him that Hawke." Varric noted shaking his head. "There are plenty of better names to give to a Mabari hound dog I assure you. Maybe like - you know - Hound for one – considering that's what he is."
"Varric don't speak ill about Dread Wolf. He's a good boy. Besides, it seemed like a good name at the time." Hawke responded as she tapped Fenris's right shoulder blade and Fenris tilted his head in confusion. "You see Inquisitor I was crushing so hard on a certain Elf and I was trying my best to get his attention! So hey you know what - I thought well why not name my Mabari something similar? Dropping hints is one of the finest flirtations, don't you know?"
"Really Hawke?" Fenris asked, a small smile crossing his lips as Varric practically rolled over in laughter. He kept mentioning how he needed to add that bit in an upcoming book when he had the chance. Hawke however simply looked at Fenris with furrowed brows.
"Was it not obvious enough Fenris? I thought since your name defers from a wolf that The Dread Wolf would be a really good name."
"Fenris is not even my real name Hawke." He responded and she shrugged.
"I prefer it over Leto anyways and I know for a fact that you do too. Fen-ris." Hawke drew out into his ears and he smiled again softly. Hawke was the only one who made him smile it seemed. A refreshing sight from all the previous anger.
"Just please don't mention any of this to Solas." Ellana commented pulling their undivided attention to her. She tried to break gaze instantly. "Wolves just happened to be a sore subject for him too. Especially the Dread Wolf."
"Whose Solas?" Hawke asked, turning gaze to Varric for answers.
"Undoubtly an Elf." Fenris stated. "Is he not, dwarf?"
"Oh you mean Chuckles? Yeah. He's Evelyn's Ex."
"Yes he's my, my, what?" Evelyn asked incredulously. "That's awful Varric - why would you say something like that?"
"Huh? Why are you glaring at me, Boss? You're the one that cut ties with the poor guy!"
Ellana blinked a couple times at that statement.
"That's not remotely... Why would I—Oh...Evelyn." She drew out as she connected the dots. Ellana took in a deep breath as her hands turned to white as they tightened into fists. "Where is Solas now?"
Varric scratched the back of his head.
"I don't know, drinking like they said?"
"Drinking?" Ellana replied enormously. "But Solas can't even get –" She cut her self off before she revealed too much. Ellana swallowed roughly. "Down at that tavern I assume?"
"Well yeah, that's what Mahanon and the others did claim which by the way Evelyn I'm not sure why you need to know the run down. Especially you know since you were there, don't you remember?"
Ellana groaned.
Of course, she didn't remember - she really wasn't there!
Evelyn was and it honestly bothered Ellana that she couldn't recall it.
In fact she couldn't recall a damn single thing. It was so frusterating!
"Sorry to cut in but Varric," Hawke began, "Well if you don't mind me asking if the Inquisitor that is—is she like Anders?" Varric looked puzzled that that statement.
"Good heavens no! The Boss is nothing of the sort Hawke! No one is crazy like Anders crazy."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that dwarf." Fenris cut in. His eagle-eye like gaze now piercing into Ellana's crumbling mask. "This Inquisitor seems to be hiding more than she cares to let on."
"No," Varric argued while waving his hands around, "I know she seems weird but trust me, Evelyn is Evelyn! It's only sometimes that she does this weird shit with Solas that she becomes all elfy."
"Elfy?" Hawke echoed, "What's that supposed to mean? And just when were you going to tell me about that?"
"I'm actually a Spirit." Ellana confessed with a cough, interrupting the two completely. It caused Hawke to place her right hand on forehead and rub it as she mutter a silent, 'Oi.' While Varric's mouth on the other hand hung open in shock. Fenris simply rolled his eyes.
"Great another one." Fenris commented.
"But I'm not like Justice!" She protested. "I'm not going to blow up any holy chapels to get my way! I'm not a bad spirit...At least I would like to think that I'm not."
"I told you coming here was a waste of time Hawke." Fenris said. "With mages – its always bad news."
"Now come on, she hasn't done anything to provoke us...Well me anyway." She added with a wry smile when his brow furrowed. "So um, Miss Spirit, what exactly brings you to this part of town?"
"I liked you better when you were a mage Hawke." Ellana couldn't help but say. "You were much easier to talk with back then anyway. More relatable for one."
"Pardon? When I was a mage?" Hawke echoed. "I assure you I've never used any magic of the sort. If I did I would have had a much harder time bedding this one if that was the case - that's for damn sure."
"You managed to swoon him pretty easily actually. I assume you just have a natural charm about you." Ellana replied seriously, "At least in my world that is...By the way, I'm not from this world."
"Clearly." Fenris snipped. "You spirits have nothing better to do but to invade the unwilling."
"That's –That wasn't my intention at all, I assure you. I meant to come back in time as myself, not as someone else. Not as Evelyn." Ellana responded weakly. "The spirit thing – was unintentional at best but now also very useful."
"Of course it is."Fenris snapped causing Ellana to swallow roughly into a stunned silence.
"If you aren't Evelyn then pray tell what is your name – or what should I call you?" Hawke questioned feeling a bit awkward. "I would think Miss Spirit is not very flattering."
"Who cares if it's flattering or not? It's an abomination Hawke."
"Fenris, dear, please...Can't you see I'm trying to make nice with the friendly spirit here...You know before it goes off and kills us all the second we turn around?" She added, laughing a bit. Fenris crossed his arms muttering about how stupid of a plan this was.
"My name is Lavellan, Ellana." Ellana said. Earning a brow raise from Varric.
"Wait...You and Mahanon are related?"
"No, he just, took my place in this world. He's living my previous life. My family is his...So for example, while in my world, I am the sole Inquisitor."
"But not anymore. Sounds like you have a lot of patience to be living this shit all over again." Varric replied.
"I get that a lot." She said a small smile finally forming on lips.
"And here I thought all this time you were bipolar Boss. Now I know that you're just crazy like Anders. Good to know."
"But I'm not-"
"Yeah yeah – the so-called good Spirit of Patience. Got it, Boss." Ellana groaned.
This was not how she wanted this conversation to go.
"I'm not saying I believe you but if I had wanted to – well if you truly have traveled back in time or whatever like you claim then what am I here to tell you about?"
Ellana crossed her arms.
"Well that's an easy one. For starters your here to tell me how Corypheus has a connection to the Gray Wardens."
"Corypheus really messed with the Warden's minds back then by getting into their heads. Turned the Gray Wardens against each other. It spelt big trouble for us back then." Varric chimed in earning a disapproval look from Hawke.
"Varric...I'm trying to interrogate here so could you do me a favor and Please. Stop. Helping." Varric shrugged his shoulders while Ellana smiled.
"You've also come to tell me that Shroud is investigating the Warden's disappearances as he believes there might be some corruption in the ranks. There is. The false Calling by Corypheus's hand...Another good reason that you didn't bring Bethany along. With her being a Warden and all."
Hawke laughed, shaking her head.
"I can't believe this...If she knew all this then why am I here again Varric?" Hawke asked.
"I swear I didn't know Hawke! You know for a fact that you're the first person I'd talk to about things I deem overtly crazy." Varric responded honestly and Hawke took a deep breath but nodded.
"Yes, yes I know that Varric – it's just this is all so very overwhelming."
"For all of us." Fenris added. "I didn't think time traveling was a thing."
"Just know that Varric didn't know – No one really knows. I've always been on my own."
Hawke threw her head back and laughed before finally looking down and back towards Ellana. Her gaze was a hard one but Ellana met it with her own steady gaze.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but if the Wardens are being controlled by this false Calling then how exactly do we go about stopping it?"
"Well first we should probably tell Shroud as he's the one who has the closest connections to the Wardens."
"What about Blackwall?" Varric questioned.
"Forget about Blackwall. He's not really a Warden anyway."
"Geez just when you think you know a guy." Varric muttered.
"Blackwall has his reasons. It's best to just leave him as he is in the meantime. So don't mention anything to him. If you do he might just bail on us and I don't want to loose him. He is a great guy just made some poor decisions...Anyhow so Hawke - are you going to head out now?"
"Oh right – I guess I will. Shroud's waitng for me in an old smuggler's cave near Crestwood but I'm sure your already aware of that aren't you - Ellana?"
Ellana couldn't help but smile. "Right – you are. Well then. Do you mind me asking you something else?"
"You want to know more about the Red Lyrium?"
"Ah please don't do that." Hawke responded. "I don't like the feeling that my mind is being probed even though you're not doing any sort of probing of the sort. Or are you? So I can feel a bit less sick on the matter?"
"I assure you I can't read minds, Hawke."
"Oh goodie! One less thing to worry about!" Hawke responded wearily.
"I just want you to know that I appreciate you sticking around Hawke. You really were the best of friends." Ellana told her out of the blue and Hawke shrugged casually.
"Well I wouldn't go that far as to call me a friend...Corypheus was simply my responsibility. I thought I had killed him and apparently not. I'm just here to finish the job, which I'm also sure you can relate to hence why your here to begin with."
"Yes." Ellana replied smoothly despite the pang of guilt in her heart.
She couldn't let them know about Solas. Not yet. Not until they got to know him. If Ellana didn't give them a chance to bond then everyone would not feel any remorse about cutting ties with him if time eluded to it.
"So tell me Ellana why did Corypheus want to use Red Lyrium anyways?"
"Well given your history with Meredith you ought to know best." Ellana responded and Hawke rubbed chin recalling how Meredith went from partial to impartial in seconds after consumption of Red Lyrium.
"Corypheus plans on making all the Templars that deranged?" Fenris questioned and Ellana nodded.
"The Red Lyrium essentially eats the Templars from the inside out as it grows. Corrupting the Templars and manipulating them into eventually becoming Behemoths – monsters. These Behemoths posses immense strength...Large and dangerous – barely recognizable as having once been human – you would only know from their screams alone. Agonizing at best."
"...Well shit." Varric said. "This just got the hell of a lot more complicated."
"It doesn't have to be as long as we get rid of the person who is spreading it." Ellana retorted.
"Corypheus." Hawke replied sharply.
"Mmh." Ellana said.
"Right - well I'll be going now – Fenris you stay here and keep Ellana safe."
"Hawke –"
"Please Fenris – I don't want to fight you on this. Besides, I think it will be good for you. Fighting alongside a mage might make you less wary of them."
"Nothing will ever make me less wary of them. Hawke. Not even if you were a mage." Hawke shook her head, and placed a kiss on the side of his cheek before turning to Ellana once more.
"I'm sorry. I know he can be a hard ass but I assure you, he's not all that bad - Even pleasant at times."
"Oh believe me," Ellana drawled out, her own smile growing to match Hawke's own, "I know...And let me reassure you, Hawke, that nothing, and I mean no one out beats my Vhenan."
"Well then it looks like your in good hands then Fenris."
"You better stay out of harm's way Hawke." Fenris told her while crossing his arms, "I mean it."
"Me?" Hawke questioned pointing at herself laughing. "Me getting into danger? Sounds like an oxymoron at best."
"I'm not joking, Hawke. There better be no scratches."
"I'll try to not climb any mountains then Fenris. Or trip over for the matter." She told him as she pulled away, only to be pulled back into his arms for a quick kiss.
Hawke couldn't help but laugh.
"Honestly sometimes you act like I'm going to die or something. Which –," She paused, rolling head back to glance at Ellana, "I don't right?"
Ellana swallowed roughly at the words. "Nevermind. Don't answer that." Hawke quickly added. "Some things are best left unsaid."
"Yes." Ellana breathed out as she looked up into the deep blue skies above. Blue and not red nor green for the matter.
Clear beautiful blue. "Yes - that is something that I can most certainly agree on Hawke."
Somethings must never come into light.
Falon'Din enasal enaste. My dearest friends.
XXX
Notes: Translations:
Falon'Din enasal enaste : A prayer for the dead. (I thought to add it as a silent farewell to those Ellana has lost.)