Oh my gosh! The sweetness and support for the last chapter just blew me away! Love and kisses and mini powdered donuts to all of you!

35. Television Heaven

Three Months Later

We're watching Smokey and the Bandit on his fuzzy TV because that's all that's on. I'm sitting on the green velvet couch, and he's sprawled out on his bed, an arm propped behind his head. His foot jerks up and down constantly because he never can stay still.

"I have a man-crush on Burt Reynolds," he says, rubbing at his eye sleepily.

I laugh a little because I can't help it, and keep scratching off the black nail polish Alice painted on my toenails. "Ew."

"Oh, c'mon. He's so cool. Look at him."

"He has a pornstache."

"Whatever. He rocks it."

I roll my eyes.

Edward glances over at me and lifts his head a little. "You should come over here with me."

I peep at him. "Should I?"

He smiles.

I always sit here, on the couch. He lies on the bed, with his leg bouncing up and down. We watch TV until one of us falls asleep. He usually goes to sleep first. If he could keep still long enough, he'd pass out faster than anyone I've ever met.

I get up a little hesitantly. It's not that big of a deal, I guess. I've slept with him before—that night when he was so drunk. But that's just it. He was drunk and sleepy. He's very much awake now.

I ease down on to the bed slowly.

I'm stiff as a board.

He laughs and scoots closer to me, putting his arm beneath my head to prop me up a little. We squirm until we're both comfortable, except, I'm not all that comfortable, being this close.

"That's better," he says.

I don't say anything. I just keep my eyes glued to the TV.

In ten minutes, my worries are for nothing. Because Edward is out like a light, his face buried against my neck.

"I don't know. He's actually around." Rose yells to be heard over the vacuum cleaner.

I nod to let her know I'm listening, and start the battle of trying to get new fitted sheets on the stained mattress.

"I think he's trying. It's crazy." Rose flicks the loud machine off once the floors are as clean as they're going to get. Then she glances at Kennedy, who plays happily in the crib we cart around with us, room to room.

"That's good," I tell her.

"Yeah." Rose sighs. "I still don't trust him, though, obviously. I mean—he can still be an idiot. He can't even change the diapers right."

I blow a few curls out of my face and struggle to lift the corner of the mattress. I'm trying to get the corner of the sheet hooked beneath. "Maybe he'll learn."

"Maybe." Rose watches Kennedy gnaw on her rattle. "I think she's teething."

"Do you see any teeth?"

"No, not yet. But she's drooling a lot—and she bites everything."

"Yeah," I say, smiling a little. "Edward told me she was chewing on his fingers like crazy the other day."

Rose grunts, suddenly not as talkative. She marches over to help me with the fitted sheet and says, "So, what? Are you two dating?"

"What? No."

"He's just fucking you, then?"

"No!" I flush, feeling faintly disgusted. My stomach flip-flops with old fear. "Why would you even say that?"

"I've seen you." Rose looks across the bed at me as we fight to get the sheet on. "I've seen you leaving his room."

"We just hang out."

Rose rolls her eyes.

"We do," I protest, needing her to know the truth. "We're just friends."

"Edward doesn't have friends, Bella—not that are girls, anyway." She says it like it's obvious, and I guess it is, but it still makes me frown.

"Maybe you don't know him as well as you think," I mutter quietly.

But she still hears.

"Oh, really? And you do? Let me guess. He's different with you. He's sweet—he really is a good guy. He's just misunderstood. He really does have a good heart."

"Stop," I say quietly.

"Come on, Bella. Don't you think every girl he 'hangs out' with thinks those same things?"

"We just watch TV, Rose. That's it."

"If that's it, he's just working up to something more. I've seen the way he looks at you," she says as we finish up with the sheets.

"Do you think I'm some kind of idiot?" I demand quietly, frowning at her. "I know exactly what Edward can and can't offer me."

"He can offer you an STD," Rose grumbles as she walks away.

"Why do you hate him so much?" I ask tiredly, my words a sigh.

"Because I knew a lot of guys like him back home. My sister got her heart broken by a guy just like Edward. I'm not saying he's a complete tool, Bella. I mean, shit. I'd even go so far to say Edward's a pretty nice guy—but only if you keep your distance. His type hurts without meaning to and that's the whole problem."

Edward asks me to come lie next to him again, so I do.

We watch Ghostbusters, which he says is one of his favorite movies. I think it's kind of stupid, but when he smiles or laughs at something, it makes him look less sad. It's good to be less sad, so I don't ask him to change the channel.

I don't really watch the movie, though. I watch him, and he finally notices. He turns his head and our noses almost bump.

"What?" he asks. His breath smells like the mint gum he's been chewing.

"Why do you think Rose hates you so much?"

My question takes him by surprise, and he laughs a little. "Hell if I know. I've never done anything to her." He shrugs as best he can with his arm around me. "She just thinks I'm a player."

"Well, you are, aren't you?" I ask softly, plucking at the hem of my shirt.

There's a moment of hesitant silence. "I don't think so," he murmurs. "Do you?"

"It doesn't matter what I think," I say vaguely.

"It matters to me."

I smile just a little, shaking my head at his easy line. My eyes meet his, and I realize he can't even help himself. Flirting to him is a knee-jerk reaction. "I just think you're looking for something."

"What am I looking for?" he asks, a curious smile tilting his lips.

"Happiness. Comfort. Safety." I shrug. "You're just trying to find all that through sex."

"How should I try to find it?"

"If I knew that, I'd have it, too."

We both smile.

Then his eyes drop to my lips, and I realize how close we are.

"Are you thinking of kissing me?" I ask him, my voice barely a whisper.

He nods, his eyes flickering back up to mine. He looks at me through his lashes because I think he knows how that rocks me a little. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"I have to have a reason?"

The right one, I think. You have to have the right reason. But that's silly. And it sounds like I might be okay with him trying to kiss me if he did have the right reason. I'm not, though, so I turn my head back towards the movie.

Edward just laughs a little, shaking his head at my strangeness.

Just so y'all know, they haven't kissed again in the three month time period. He's not pushing her, and she's still nervous about all of this. She's dealt with a lifetime of abuse from her mother's different boyfriends, not just James, so it's gonna take her a while not to get disgusted by the idea of intimacy.

I love you guys soooo very much. Thank you for all the kindness y'all have shown me!

Until next time! I hope everyone has a good week!

oxoxoxox