Runaways Chapter 34 Spiral
Ben yawned and laid his head on Hux's lap. He'd been sleeping a lot lately – probably his body's way of getting additional energy for healing the blaster wound. Hux gently ran a hand through his hair, then went back to repacking the medkit.
One of the little bottles of pills dropped and Hux caught it before it could fall. It was the morphate, which gave such a nice sensation. Almost on automatic, he opened the bottle, palmed a pill, and closed it again. Ben didn't notice. Hux finished packing the stray bandages into the kit and closed it.
Ben squirmed in his lap, making himself as comfortable as possible. He reached out a hand and made a sort of beckoning gesture at the pile of gear on the table. His black bag rose and flew over to him. He hugged it close to his chest and curled in on himself so tight Hux had to check to be sure he wasn't sucking his thumb. Then he fell asleep.
There was a gentle pressure as Millicent placed her front paws on Hux's leg and pushed up to sniff delicately at Ben's hair. Then she lay across Hux's thigh and settled down. She'd hidden under the bench at the scent of the Wookiee, which was probably too much like predator. Hux scratched her head, and remembered the pill in his hand.
It was a mess. Hux was almost certain he was a dead boy walking. What was Solo going to do with him? How long until he was pulled away and put in cuffs? And what would they do when he refused to tell them all the First Order's secrets? How hard would they push him? Would he give up before- Or would they just execute him first? That would be…easier.
Why, oh why did he run off? It was just getting worse. He was starting to feel fear, and that was something he'd banished years ago. It was madness. He felt like he was spiralling down into insanity.
But he didn't have to feel the descent. He dry-swallowed the pill quickly. He so desperately needed the numbness, and it was only a matter of time before the option was lost.
He ran his hand through Ben's hair, watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful. All the little worries and concerns and griefs that had been leaving tense furrows on his forehead and crinkles around his eyes. He'd never looked younger. He slumbered, idle and placid.
Then familiar fuzziness swept over Hux. It had made school bearable, when the stress of exams and assignments and the near-constant threat of assassination attempts got too much, and he just needed to get out of his head. There were always pills being passed around, a contraband bottle sneaked in that could be stolen, and there was always the endorphin rush of sex. Just a way to get the sheer overwhelming reality of how much was asked of him out of mind.
And in the end, he hadn't delivered. Grades and performance was meaningless unless he was there to deliver what they indicated. What had he achieved, really? Well, he'd kept Ben safe. That was it. And Ben would go home, and he'd be left. Alone. Like always. But now he knew what it was like to have a friend – at least he thought he had. Ben had probably been playing him all along. And Hux had indeed protected him. He couldn't bring himself to care.
Because he'd done it. He'd achieved something. Ben will live.
And Hux will die. Life will go on. The planets will spin. The stars will shine. Ben will be fine, and Hux will become star dust.
It was all too much. Hopefully Ben wouldn't watch his execution. That would be…
There was a prickling around his eyes. He couldn't remember how to cry. His fingers were still moving through the short fur of Millicent's scalp, and she made a plaintive mewl at his movements.
Footsteps. Hux looked up, seeing Solo come out of the cockpit. Hux held still as he came over and knelt in front of him, reaching out to stroke Ben's cheek. Then he smiled at Hux. "Hey, kid. It's gonna be okay. You're safe now."
Hux stared blankly. If he was prone to hysteria, he probably would have laughed. Safe now? He'd never been safe in his life. He never would be. Especially not among his enemies.
Solo must have picked up on his…reticence. "My name is Han Solo, by the way. You wanna tell me yours?"
Hux kept staring. What was he meant to say to that? If he was in interrogation, he was meant to recite name, rank and military ID number. But this wasn't interrogation. Not yet.
Solo sighed. "Going by what Anat Potdrum said, I'm guessing you go by Zander Ardeen. That what you want me to call you? I mean, I don't think that's your real name, but we can get to that later. You want something to drink? Some water?"
Hux flinched slightly before he could stop himself. They could ʻget to that laterʼ could they? How…reassuring. What he wouldn't do for a hyper-vodka right now. Not that he would get it. Or he could trust anything Solo gave him anyway.
Solo seemed to give up on getting an answer. He cleared his throat. "Listen, Zander, I'm not good at thank-yous. But I need you to know how grateful I am. For protecting my son. You looked ready to give your life for him. And trust me when I say I know that look." He stood up, clapped Hux on the shoulder and stroked Ben's hair once more before returning to the cockpit. Hux watched him leave.
What was that all about? Was he trying to weasel answers out of him the easy way? Or did he…want something else?
Something besides execution. But what?
What could Solo possibly want from him?
Hux had no idea what to do.