"Ah, Easy living, you're not much like the name. Easy dying, you look just about the same."

- The Beautiful Letdown; Switchfoot

Chapter 35

"I was going to look for you," Edmund said calmly. "But I figu—"

"You don't have to always look for me," she said, slightly irritated, as she entered the room. "I'm fine. Just went for a walk, that's all."

"Yeah," Edmund said with the same calmness. "That's why I was going to say that I figured I'd wait for you instead."

"Okay," Tawny muttered embarrassedly. She looked at Edmund as he examined her mucky hood, which was ripped at its hems. She suddenly felt her cheeks tingle a little.

"What did you do to this?" he said quietly. "It's made out of fine and delicate Narnian garments. Very expensive. Hand-made by dryads. You murdered it." He looked at her and there were lights in his eyes.

Tawny stopped herself from smiling like a complete idiot. Then she remembered what Aslan told her. "Edmund, I need to get back to Narnia now. Please." She added the last part quickly.

"Why?" he drew closer to Tawny, who was impatiently shifting her weight from one foot to the other. He was still holding Tawny's hood.

"I need to do something."

"What?"

Tawny didn't know if she should tell Edmund, but Aslan said nothing about not telling anyone, right? "Hashreen is locked up there."

"So?" Edmund raised an eyebrow.

"What exactly happened?"

"When we were about to leave Calormen during that night, we were all waiting for you. Then she came and we thought it was you. Or at least I thought it was you so I let her on board. Then we discovered about her and she told that you betrayed us. The counsels advised that we keep her and imprison her here. When Susan and I went to Narnia and the others headed for Calormen for the war, we brought Hashreen with us." Edmund paused. "Why do you want to know about her?"

Tawny looked determined. "I just have to help her."

"Why?" he said with bitter disdain. "She's not exactly the kind of person worthy of your sympathy. In fact, she's the complete opposite of it."

"Aslan…Aslan talked to me and I need to help her. He wants me to. So I have to go to Narnia now."

"You can't." He said with composure.

"Why not?"

"Because you have to stay here." What a lame reason. Tawny opened her mouth to say something but before she could, Edmund cut in. "You must be tired. You need to rest. Just rest."

"Aslan told me to help her," she reasoned, annoyance growing in her. "What part of it don't you understand?"

"Did Aslan say you have to do it now?"

"He—" Now that she thought of it, Aslan said nothing about it. "No."

Edmund smugly jerked his head. "I promise to go with you in the morning. If you say that Aslan wants you to help her, then do whatever you want to help. But not now. In the morning. Promise. It's very late."

Tawny sighed. She guessed that maybe it was alright if she did Aslan's task tomorrow, after all, she was tired. "Fine," she said.

"Now sleep," Edmund said as he placed Tawny's hood on the dark green recamier near one of the big glass windows. Tawny raised her eyebrows at him in irritation while she sat on the foot of her bed.

"Go on," Edmund said. He sat on the sturdy footrest of the recamier.

"What?" she asked with a frown. "Don't tell me you'll stay there, waiting for me to fall asleep?"

"Pretty much," he shrugged indifferently.

"What for?" she scoffed.

Edmund stretched his legs and yawned as he positioned himself fully on the recamier with comfort (he dropped the dirty hood on the floor). "Well," he began. "You might run off. Maybe you'd steal a horse and head to Narnia alone. I won't possibly allow that. I happen to know that you like escaping."

Tawny looked at the double doors of the room then back at Edmund. She was obviously exasperated.

"There are the windows too," he rolled his eyes at the windows' direction.

"Why don't you just go back to your own room?" she muttered angrily. Tawny took off her shoes, went to the center of the bed and tugged the covers. "I'll stay here, so go."

"Not a chance," Edmund smirked.

"I thought you trust me?" Tawny taunted, hoping it would work. Edmund just smiled haughtily. "Have it your way then." She lied down and pulled the covers over her head forcibly. Tawny heard the doors close then everything was silent for a while so she thought that Edmund must've gone out of the room. She peeked from under the covers and saw Edmund, smiling.

"Still here," he said.

Tawny stared at him obnoxiously but then she decided it would get her nowhere if she continued to act angsty with him. "So," she started off lightly as she sat up. "What happened to the Calormenes? Did you meet Ezron?" She remembered when Aslan told her Calormene friend to go talk to King Lune and Edmund in the dungeons.

"Everything is fine," he said curtly. "Ezron is fine. Now, sleep."

Tawny scowled.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know tomorrow," he said. "Don't think about it. You won't be able to rest."

Tawny muttered incoherent words irritably and pulled the covers over once again. After some moments of silence…

"Can't you sleep?" Edmund asked quietly.

"What gave it away?" she said sarcastically.

"You keep on tossing and turning," he replied. She went out from the refuge of her blankets and looked at Edmund.

"Won't you sleep?" she said. He was still sitting on the couch and had his chin propped up on his knuckles.

"You first,"

"If I slept, would you go away?" she asked, not sounding too hopeful.

"It's plausible," Edmund said. "You really want me to go away now?"

"As much as you want me to go to sleep," Tawny answered.

Edmund breathed deeply and gave up. "If you don't want to sleep just yet, can you sit with me here?"

Tawny stared at him for a long moment. "Please?" Edmund said.

What she really wanted to do at that moment was to knock Edmund unconscious and drag him out of her room. But that would be ridiculous and impossible. Tawny just now realized how her whole body ached.

"Well, since you said please," Tawny muttered and made her way towards the recamier. Edmund moved over to make some room for her. "What?"

Edmund stared at her for a second or two, then said, "Are you alright?"

"Are you just going to do some interrogation on me?" Tawny said. "Because my everything slightly hurts and you're right; I need rest."

"You're hurt?" he said quietly.

"I'm fine. Stop fussing."

Edmund leaned in closer and looked at her cut bottom lip. "Does that hurt?" he asked softly.

Tawny leaned away. "Not that it would concern you. Now what do you really want?"

He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her gently, being careful if her cut would hurt. But since she didn't wince or anything, he continued. Tawny sat there, figuring out what to do, either she should push him away or kiss him back. But before she could even make that decision, he pulled back and stared at her.

"What?" he said.

"What 'what'?"

"You were…unresponsive," Edmund said.

"Well since that's the last thing I expected you to do. I was taken by surprise, so I was unresponsive," Tawny said monotonously. He smiled at her.

Right at that moment, while she and Edmund communicated with only their eyes, everything came down on her. Her life as the gypsies' slave, her arrival in Narnia, her friendship with the Pevensies and everybody else, her concern and care for Dorelle, her journeys through the desert both as a slave and a free person, her fears and doubts, her love for Edmund, her encounter with Aslan…everything felt so real. It all really happened to her. She had had gone a long way. She remembered when she wanted to be loved, to feel wanted and appreciated. She didn't know when that was but it was certain that it was a long time ago, before she even came here in this world.

Everything was real and so were the tears that formed in her eyes. She didn't know what she was crying for. Tawny thought it was stupid for even doing that. She felt so vulnerable, so ashamed to be crying in front of Edmund, who took her in his arms.

"I don't know why," she said as tears silently rolled down her eyes. "I just think I need to."

"You over-emotional little kook," Edmund snorted.

"I'm not over-emotional," she muttered.

"Fine, then. You're…temperamental. If put in a better term." He tightened his embrace around her. "But that's just one of the many reasons why I…you know, why I love you." He kissed her hair and leaned at the headrest of the recamier. "I said that correctly, right? This is weird. I've never actually told that to some girl…Weird, right?"

Silence.

"It's been so difficult," Tawny said out of the blue. "I thought I won't make it, and yet I'm here—"

"In my arms." Edmund said. "So now you're being sentimental. Geezers, women these days. And I thought you were a tough kid."

Tawny struggled out of his hug out of indignation but Edmund gripped her harder so that she couldn't escape.

"I was joking," he chortled and he relaxed. The young king stroked her hair while Tawny wiped her eyes and her nose at the back of her hands.

The last thing she heard that night was Edmund saying, "Now you can sleep. I'll stay."

. . .

Edmund felt great. Last night wasn't exactly the best one he ever had, what with the war and all that stuff. But knowing everyone was safe, knowing he was holding Tawny, he felt secure.

So it is true that you feel the happiest after a catastrophe.

First thing he heard in the morning was Tawny's breathing. And it sounded so good. Her head against his chest, it's like he doesn't want to move or whatsoever. He wants to stay in that peaceful position. The curtains were drawn together but some rays of morning light indicated that the sun was up. He adjusted his right arm, which was the one wrapped around Tawny, for it felt numb. He was careful not to wake her up. He gave Tawny a kiss on the cheek and it made her stir.

"You really like physical contact," she said inarticulately.

"What?"

"Nothing," she got up and rubbed her eyes. Edmund stretched his arms and shook them, trying to get blood flow properly back to them.

"You had troubled dreams?" he asked.

"I don't remember,"

"You were frowning in your sleep, so you must've." Edmund leaned back and closed his eyes as Tawny stood up to open the curtains. She stayed there and stared outside. The young king moved his way towards her and stood behind her.

"Problem?" he asked.

"I'm trying to recall my dream," she whispered. "I feel horrible."

"You want to go to the infirmary?"

"No. Not that kind of horrible." She turned around and looked up at him. He saw that she was dead serious. "Someone was crying in my dreams."

"Your stomach?" Edmund joked hesitantly. "You must be hungry. How long since you have taken a decent meal?"

Tawny frowned at him in that way he loved. "I'm dead serious."

Ah, he knew her too well.

"Alright, don't bite me." He said in a surrendering tone.

Tawny was about to face the windows again when she remembered, "Edmund! I have to go back to Narnia now!"

"Right now?" he said. "But—"

"You promised!"

Edmund sighed. "Come on," he said.

The young king talked to King Lune about their early departure while Tawny went to the stables to get two horses. King Lune was surprised but after hearing the Great Lion's name, he gave them immediate permission. Corin was not at all pleased, "We just got back together, and now you two are going! With no bath!"

The two bid quick goodbyes to their friends in Anvard and set off towards Narnia. After some time (they didn't notice how long it took them), they reached Narnia. It felt wonderful to see Cair Paravel looking so peaceful under the golden sun. When they arrived at the threshold, they were greeted by Narnian soldiers who stayed to guard the castle. Tawny and Edmund immediately went to the dungeons without delay. A knight guarding the door of the dungeons bowed before him.

"Is the prisoner named Hashreen still in there?" Edmund asked in his serious tone.

The soldier nodded and opened the door. He led them to one of the farthest cells. The soldier stopped on the corner bend to give way to the young king and Tawny. So suddenly, Edmund stopped dead on his tracks, making Tawny run against him.

"What?" she peered over his shoulder but Edmund spun around so fast she almost stumbled back. Edmund gently pushed her away but she resisted.

"Let's go." Edmund murmured. Tawny was alarmed.

"What is it?" She shoved Edmund aside and saw what was inside Hashreen's cell.

Hashreen was suspended from the ceiling by what looked like a twisted bed sheet. Her pale beautiful face was lifeless.

Tawny wasn't able to move, nor could she utter a word. This was what probably Aslan meant when he said, "Save her from herself." But now it was too late. Edmund tensely placed his arm around her and tried to move her away from there.

"Come on," he said quietly. He raised his voice, addressing the guard that took them inside. "Call for other soldiers and bring her body down."

The soldier was shocked. "She was still alive last night…I—I brought her food…."

"She was crying," Tawny breathed.

The soldier looked at her in surprise. "Yes…she was. She—sh—"

"Please call for other soldiers now," Edmund reminded. The guard nodded and ran.

"Come on Tawny," the young king said grimly.

"I have to help her!" Tawny pushed him away and grasped the bars of Hashreen's cell. "Edmund, where are the keys? I need to open—"

"You can't help her now. She'd dead."

She shook the bars, "It's my fault. I should've gone last night! She might still be alive now!" Tawny felt her eyes get heavy and hot. But there was no time for silly tears.

"It's not your fault," Edmund pulled her away from the bars. "Let's go."

The guard was back with three other soldiers. He opened the cell with the key and the four soldiers brought Hashreen's stiff and cold body down with difficulty. Edmund kept tugging on Tawny's arm but she ignored it. All she could stare at was at the gypsy's grimy face streaked with dry tears. Tawny heard Edmund order the soldiers to bring Hashreen to the mortuary. Once the soldiers with the girl's dead body were gone, Edmund again told Tawny that they should go.

"I should've—"

"Don't say anything," Edmund said with a hint of sternness. "It isn't your fault."

"But Aslan—"

"He'll understand,"

Tawny hid her face from Edmund by turning her back against him. "I was selfish. I should have acted right after Aslan told me what to do."

"I told you to stay," the young king caressed her hair with his hand.

"But I listened,"

"Stop it, Tawny. We can't do anything now. I'm sorry—"

"We have to do something," she said quietly. "We'll give her corpse to Levina. Hashreen at least deserves to be back in her home."

. . .

Queen Susan heard the disturbing news when she was greeted by Tawny and Edmund with troubled faces in her sitting room. Edmund told her the whole story because Tawny can't bring herself up to talk. It was settled then afterwards that they would first send a letter to Levina, and after two days, Tawny would personally accompany the soldiers who will bring Hashreen's corpse back to Calormen. Edmund insisted on going with her, but Tawny refused.

Later that evening, some of the Narnian soldiers from the battle came back to Narnia, led by Oreius and Malric. Ezron also came with them because he wished to see Tawny.

"I cannot stay here," he told Tawny.

"I understand," she said. "When will you leave?"

"After I say my farewell and gratitude to you and to the goodhearted King Edmund and Queen Susan," said Ezron with a smile.

"So soon?" Tawny asked. "Can't you go in two days' time?"

"Why?"

"I'm planning to bring Hashreen's body back to Levina. Can you go with me?"

"Hashreen's body?" Ezron knew who Hashreen and Levina were, as he constantly saw them on the palace grounds of Tashbaan.

Tawny's eyes were sad, "She's dead. She hanged herself while in prison."

There was a moment of silence until Ezron finally agreed to stay until Hashreen was to return to Calormen. Malric has heard of Tawny's arrangements and he persisted that he should come too. Tawny concurred.

"Why not me?" Edmund asked when he got the chance to talk to her alone. They were on the stables (Tawny was feeding carrots to Gregory, whom Oreius brought home for her). "Ezron and Malric will come with you. What's wrong with me?"

Tawny sadly smiled. "There's nothing wrong with you. Well, except for your colossal ego."

"Seriously Tawny…"

"Hashreen liked you. I mean, she wanted you—"

"You're not jealous-!" Edmund said loudly.

"Shh—!"

"She's dead, for pete's sakes!" he said in a hushed voice.

Tawny scowled at him in disgust. "I'm not jealous, you impossible idiot! I meant…" she looked meaningful, "Wouldn't you think it's a bit, I don't know, disrespectful to her memory if we both came to give her back to Levina?"

"What if we both came?" he asked innocently.

Tawny busied herself with shoving more carrots to Gregory's mouth. Gregory looked like he was going to choke. "She wanted you and…we're…"

The young king understood and Tawny found it useless to finish the sentence. "You and your courtesy," Edmund muttered. "Fine, I won't go. Just be careful."

"I will."

"You care for her that much?" Edmund asked after a few moments.

"It's just now that I think I understand her," she replied pensively. "Aslan told me to help her. He said you and King Lune saw the wrong in her. After much thinking, I realized we somehow have some things in common…"

"Like what?"

Tawny looked at him, "She was also looking for affection, like I did some time ago. Only difference was, I found it. From many people."

"She has Levina," Edmund said.

"I'm finding it easy to believe that Levina doesn't know what real love is," she said bitterly. "Hashreen wasn't one of the nicest people I've met, but I reckon she must've just been misunderstood."

"That's the trouble with adolescent humans," Malric said as he joined the two. "They always feel misunderstood. Stop feeding Gregory with carrots, milady, or you won't have a horse any longer."

Tawny let out a small gasp as she saw Gregory drooling some orange stuff.

"Sire," Malric turned to Edmund. "We have sent the letter to the gypsy, Levina, about her niece. We have also notified the Tisroc that a small ship carrying Hashreen's corpse will dock on their port some time after the ship of Rabadash' Calormene soldiers will."

Edmund thanked Malric. Tawny helped Gregory with some water then they all went back to the palace to rest.

. . .

Levina received the letter, which was given by one of the Tisroc's servants. She heard that a talking eagle brought the letter from Narnia. She didn't open the letter right away for she felt afraid. She heard that a war broke in and that the prince's army was defeated. She felt afraid that an enchantment was sealed inside the letter, an enchantment that would punish her for using her niece because of greed.

She has never heard about Hashreen ever since she made her go on board the Barbarians' ship. At first she greatly disapproved of Hashreen's infatuation to King Edmund, but considering the riches, she pushed her niece to get on the good side of the king, even if it was dangerous for Hashreen and for herself. If ever Hashreen landed herself in trouble with the Narnians, she would be hanged. And it would be possible that she would be next. Why should she be punished? She didn't do anything wrong. But she would be sure that Hashreen will blame her if she gets into trouble. What happened to Hashreen? Is she still alive? Has she got the gold yet? Maybe all the answers where in the letter.

She went near the piece of paper on the table and peered curiously at it. Levina grabbed it, and hastily read it. Hashreen died and they were coming after her next. Her world started spinning dangerously and she couldn't stop it.

But it was all in her mind.

Maaaan, what a wait right? Sorry, the Lazy-Butt Syndrome took over me. Anyways, I hope you're kinda getting what happens next to Levina. It's the same one that happened to me ages ago, after I met Math.

Apologies for the wrong grammars and spellings.