What Heart Wants

Author's note:

The characters does not belong to me only plot is mine.

Thank you to Scarlett 2112, Starlight So, Elizabeth 1966, vnss, the Donner party, Joy Lande, Damon fan girl, Blue Tulips 1995, Anne 1994, Orions Belte, Anna 4267, Kimminnee ,Ladybug 95, White Lilly 1529, Ella Tremaine and my guest reviewer. Thank you so much for your reviews.

Now I know that you are all angry at Elena so I want my all readers to re read chapters. I wrote Elena this way from very first chapter. She never wanted to date rich guy let alone marry one and she always valued simple things in life and always save money instead of spending it on unnecessary things. She even stopped Damon from spending money on her as much as she can. Damon and everyone were aware what is going to happen when truth came out and I wanted her to lash out. Women is in her worst form because she is deeply hurt. Remember their first fight only Damon hasthe means to hurt her deep and she held same power over him. That being said they have rough road ahead but relax they will get their happy ending. So please have patience and keep supporting me and this story. You all are best readers and you motivated me at every step. Love you all.

Now on readers demand here is chapter mostly in Elena Pov with special surprise entry in end. So enjoy your chapter hope you able to forgive Elena after this chapter.

Thank you so much to my friend and sis Starlight So who beta my chapter .

Elena's P.O.V

It's been three weeks since my perfect little world came crashing down to the ground, our home, or perfect lives, all was an illusion, a perfect lie. I can't help but laugh at my fortune, I had made plans to surprise my husband, guess fate had a different plan all together. Never in my wildest dreams I could imagine that I'd get this surprise rather shock from the one whom I love… loved most. Now that I think about it, he was never the man I loved, there is no Damon Jackson in the picture, it's only Damon Salvatore, a man of power, wealth, a man who finds joy in deception.

In that moment I felt so small, minuscule, like bug at his feet as his power stomped my small world.

My days passed in anguish and misery. My mind wondered about every possible reason, every possible excuse, and the deeper I went, it became nebulous. How stupid I was to believe to think myself lucky enough to find perfect world that was filled with love and happiness.

I remembered every moment spent with him loving him and being loved by him, was any of that real.

Why he did that? Why he lied? What could he possibly get from marrying me?

I have nothing, my house back in Mystic falls and our lake house is only two properties that I co-owned with Jeremy.

He couldn't be interested in those? Then why because of some sort of bet he made with Michelson after I shot Kol down? I sometimes flinch at that possibility because I remember meeting him the same night, my emotions are worth so little that it could be played with? Did they bet how soon he will take me to his bed.

I cried some nights thinking of our first time that weekend when we gave ourselves to each other, when I confessed my love for him during our intimate moments.

Was all that part of some bet too? But then I remember our morning after he was so happy and that kind of happiness couldn't be fake. In fact every moment since I saw him was uniquely wonderful like some dream come true or a prayer that was answered. There's constant war between my mind and my heart.

My mind is making me blame him, creating all these questions scrutinizing every memory and turning it into something disgusting but then their is my heart which is continuously defending Damon, reminding me how much I love him, how much my whole being yearns for him.

It's seems like my body is torn in two halves. One ruled by my mind, one by heart.

I realized that when I heard Damon was missing a week ago. I didn't spare second thought as I rushed out to find him. My brain was screaming at me that he went missing purposefully to gain my attention, that it was a trap to lure me in, whereas my heart was hurting with worry and was restless to see him.

I didn't know what I expected, but the second I saw him everything hit me again with full force. His love, his lies, our relationship , his betrayal, our marriage, his deceit .

The second I felt his arms around me my heart was screaming to lose itself in his embrace while my mind recalled every moment was a lie when he touched me.

So I let my anger rise through me making a shield around me so I won't be fooled again. Encaging my love within my heart. He hurt me by lying, now it's my turn to hurt him by rejecting his love.

My mind was triumphant at its victory but then he begged. He literary knelt at my feet as he called me his home , he called himself homeless if our baby and I were not part of it and for seconds I felt my resolve break as my heart started thumping after hearing his confession. I could feel truth behind these words.

I could feel my walls breaking as I ran my hand on his black locks, relishing in its softness giving in to what my heart wants but then he called himself Salvatore and everything snapped back inside me leaving anger front in my eyes and so I left him declaring he is not my husband that he can never be part of my life.

I walked away without backward glance causing him same hurt that he caused me.

So why I'm loathing my existence ever since that day.

I thought hurting him is what I wanted most in that moment but now that moment is hurting me ever since that day.

I feel so disgusted, why I said those things? Was that some kind of vengeance?

Have I stooped so low to trample his heart when he was begging me to take him back?

Another tear dropped as I clutched my belly feeling so ashamed of myself. I was never this bitter person, I never broke anyone's heart nor intentionally caused someone pain but now I caused tormented on one person I love the most. I guess it's true, love gives you power to mend or break someone.

''Did he?" my mind taunted me again and I shook my head to clear these thoughts. ''Stop it!" I clutched my head and screamed, thrashing my head.. ''Please stop it?" but my mind was now evading my body again. ''Please, he probably bragged to his rich friends every time he fucked you, I bet the price got high how soon will he knocked his precious baker girl?" it taunted me making me angry again.

Constant streams of tears flew from my eyes as my heart defended my husband. ''He loves you Elena, he loves you so much, whatever his reasons were but truth is you and Zenia are his world , he will die if you take his world away from him. Do you want him to die?"

I trembled at that thought as I shake my head again. ''No, No, please stop just leave me alone!"

I was screaming loudly and didn't realize someone calling my name. ''Elena! Elena!"

First thing I realized Bonnie's face as she said my name. Seeing her face I went in her embrace making her beacon of my sanity. ''Make it go away Bonnie! make it go away !"

She looked panic as she held my face in her. "Elena calm down. Talk to me Elena I am here for you."

I nodded my head at her assurance. ''Please make these voices go away, they are hurting me making me hurt him!"

I burst into tears and hid myself in her arms. ''Bonnie he hurt me so I hurt him back in worst way possible. He was begging me to stay but I left him, I left him and told him he can't be part of my life anymore." I cried as I remember my harsh words.

''Why Bonnie why this happens to us? why he lied? Why he never told me anything before? Why I hurt him like that?"

I felt anger rising inside that came from both my heart and mind. ''I hate this Bonnie! I hate him ! I hate myself! I want my life back Bonnie, I want everything goes the way it was before."

She was quiet as I cried some more. Finally my tears stopped flowing as I felt exhausted.

'' Are you feeling better?" I barely managed to nod at her question after all nothing can make me feel better about myself anymore.

"Okay then you need answers it's time you get them. Let's go Elena."

She helped me up on my feet while I stared at her. ''Where are we going?"

She smiled as she led me out of her house. ''You will see soon."

We hailed cab and she helped me inside. I am glad to be out of bed rest specially after the stunt I pulled. Dr Joe didn't waste time telling me how irresponsible I was when I left to find Damon.

She put me on another week of bed rest and told Bonnie to keep a strict eye on me. Another edition to my guilt list.

That week I took care of myself as much I can for my baby. I was happy to hear week later , when Dr Joe did another check up and told me that we are our out of danger and even she forbade me to travel long distance she allowed me to resume my studies and my job as long I won't exert myself.

I was still remembering my last appointment and how much I missed him when I saw our baby growing more in that screen, I couldn't help but ask Dr to send copy to Damon. No matter whatever happened between us I decided I am not going to take our baby from him.

Lost in my thoughts I didn't realize when a cab stopped but then I saw familiar bar that was another place connected to my happy life.

''Why did you bring me here?" I asked as I stared at Bree's bar.

''You needed answers and you are going to get them today." Bonnie's voice held determination.

I thought we were going to bar instead she went inside building that led to my apartment.

I couldn't make my feet move. ''I can't go in there…" I shake my head while new tears form in my eyes.

Bonnie stared at me with kindness.

''I know you're scared of getting answer as much you are scared of going back in there but they both are connected to answers you want. Come Elena don't let your fear won you. "

With that she walked away and I couldn't let my fears control me so I followed her inside to place that is once my home.

I was unprepared to hit by so many emotions when I enter my home. Its seem like yesterday when I left this place with Bonnie to deliver cakes. Things were so simple that day I waved my husband goodbye as he left for work.

I walked around and could feel every moment , every laughter that we spend here.

I saw that couch where we made love countless times and I clearly remember the moment we were intimate for the last time before…

( Flashbacks.

''Damon stop it!" I moaned when I felt his lips on my neck.

It was few days after Lorenzo's birthday. Damon came home late when he found me sprawled on couch watching sex in the city movie on our television. He wasn't the one to miss an opportunity, he joined me on couch only to distracting me from watching movie.

''Come on baby I want little Elena loving time, you can watch this movie later." He leaned in to kiss me but I moved away after giving him small peck on lips. ''Behave baby, if you be a good boy and let me finish this movie then I'll grant you long hours of Elena loving time."

His eyes shine like kid at candies shop as he nods his head eagerly and grabbed my feet for massage.

I shake my head at his silliness and then resumed the movie. I was at part when Carey found his love letters email and I couldn't help but feel giddy. ''Now that's a man romantic, rich and classy no wonder Carey loves him so much through years." As I said this Damon stopped massaging my feet. ''You are saying that you will take love letters that were emailed by rich guy over your husband's massage? " his voice was playful so I tried to ruffled his feathers.

''Hmm maybe I mean if I find someone like Mr Big." His eyes grew outraged. ''You will choose an old dude over your stud husband? I don't believe you."

I was laughing as he tickled my feet. ''Why Damon? " I asked in fit of laughter, ''Why are you jealous of my favourite fictional character, they're not even real, now if I meet Mr Salvatore that day..."

I trailed off when I felt his expression changed, ''Hey what's the matter?"

He gave me small smile so I continued. ''Well as I was saying I didn't saw him only his back so you can imagine what would have happened if he saw me."

I tried to continue our joke but he told me seriously. ''He would have fallen for you baby , hard and fast."

I stared at him in surprise before telling him teasingly. ''Well then you are lucky he didn't saw me or else he would have taken me away to Italy. Bonnie once told me Mr Salvatore lives in Italy in his Villa." I sigh dramatically. ''Hmm, come to think about it, he would have taken me there with him if he'd fallen for me."

Before I knew it he pulled my feet making me closer to him as he enveloped me in his arms. ''So you want to leave me for Italian villa? And what about me huh?" he tickled my side making me squirm in his arms.

''Aw don't worry I will give you transfer and promotion there. You can maintain my sports car in day and at night we will have our secret rondevu." I winked at him. "Think about this, It will be so hot you would be my guilty pleasure and we will have so much fun, right?"

We couldn't contain anymore as we start laughing. I just love this man he never gets angry with my teasing.

Our laughter died down as we stared in each other eyes. I don't know how but soon everything else was forgotten as our need for each other grew more strong. He slowly kissed me while making me straddle him. We made slow love until we reach our peak and collapsed in each other arms.

After a while my breathing calm down I looked up to stare at him.

''I take it back. Who needs Italian villa when I have most beautiful home with you. I won't trade our small world for all riches in this world."

I laid my head in his arms and found my home with in, I will never leave this embrace for anything.

End of flashbacks )

I wish Damon told me then or any other day before that, I wonder how I reacted if he told me himself, but now we will never know.

''Why did you bring me here Bonnie?" I finally turned around to ask my friend. "How will I find any answers for my questions here?"

She stared at me long and hard before stepping closer to me.

''You are lying to yourself Elena. There is no questions except one that matter most. Your inner battle is happening only to avoid that one question that is hidden deep inside you."

I averted my eyes because her words held truth that I am afraid to face.

''I don't know what you are talking about?" but she didn't let me turned my eyes away and make me look at her.

''Really Elena after everything you are going to lie? Well fine let me tell you."

I flinched away from what she is about to say. "You are not angry at him anymore, disappointed maybe, maybe little hurt but truth is you have forgiven him long ago."

I wanted to deny but the word never came out. ''You want to know another thing? Hurting him is hurting you but you are even denying this."

Tears threatened to break through as I begged her. ''Stop it!" but Bonnie didn't stop as she grabbed me.

''So you have forgiven him, yet you are hurting him but not for revenge it's because..." I was able to pull away as I screamed . ''Stop it Bonnie I don't want to hear anymore!" I made my way towards door when I heard her. ''You are scared Elena and that's the only question that matters, only one question that you are denying to ask yourself."

Those words that I hid deep down came out through her voice making me freeze in my position. ''You are scared Elena and you need to accept that and let Damon know too because its not fair on both of you to be apart because of reasons that don't even exist anymore."

I sobbed quietly unable to meet her eyes as she walk near me. ''Call him Elena, talk to him, share your fear with him. Only then you will find peace within you."

With that she left me, leaving me with only question that now I have to face.

############

Kol's P.O.V

Another week passed in drunken haze and we have more days ahead. Nowadays I am dreading each day that comes.

Ever since Elena came into our lives it changed for better. We were happy almost like family. Everything was going great, she even let El and Nick in her life.

She brought happiness in my life in form of Davina. She is my perfect match and I was finally experiencing same kind of happiness that I craved after seeing Damon and Elena.

We become close family and Elena filled the empty place that came from missing my sister who lives far away.

We were so happy waiting for our new family member to be born and then everything went downhill when Elena found out.

I felt her pain and we all are so ashamed because we failed her and Damon. We hid his truth but never consider consequence of that lie is going to destroy our family in one swoop.

Elena and Damon are now separated because of that lie and it also took Davina from me.

I tried to talk her again after Elena released from hospital and two weeks later she agreed to meet me.

( Flashback)

I was sitting at a cafe for hour waiting for her. When another hour passed I realized she stood me up so I get up to leave.

Leaving few bills on the table I made my way towards door when I heard her voice from corner booth. ''Leaving so soon." I was taken aback as I saw her sitting at booth drinking coffee.

She must have sensed my surprise as she gestured me to take seat. ''I arrived two hours ago but couldn't find courage to go to your table. So I sat here and watch you waiting for me."

She sipped her coffee again and stared at me. ''You know why I agreed to meet you today? It's because Bonnie told me you deserve one chance to explain yourself."

I was intrigued but not surprised. Lately Bonnie and Enzo became a thread that is still connecting our family they both are determined to get our family back together and are not giving up any time soon.

For that we respect them more then ever because they are still fighting for our happiness and have hope that was lost inside us. "They are admirable couple I respect them a lot."

We sat quietly for a while unable to start our conversation.

After a while she sat straight. ''I am ready to listen everything you have to say."

Her voice was calm and compose and it seems she really wanted to give me honest chance to explain myself. ''Okay I will tell you everything but promise me you hear me out first without interrupting me and then after hearing it all you can make your decision."

She stared me hard before lightly nodding her head.

"It all began few days before thanksgiving Damon gathered us together in his Mansion ."

I start telling her everything even my side of what happen at restaurant that day when we first met Elena.

She heard me out quietly and didn't say word as I explained everything to her.

After I was done telling her there was tears in her eyes. ''I am so sorry Kol for that day at hospital. I blamed you all trapping Elena for some bet or revenge when in reality you all hid Damon's lie to spare your friend from hurting, from saving Elena and her baby from any harm."

I held her hand in mine. ''Please don't cry Davina, anyone would have jumped to same conclusion."

I sighed as I remember Elijah's words. ''El and Rick tried to make Damon confess but he was so scared and by the time Stefan and Caroline were able to make him fess up he found out Elena got pregnant."

She nodded hand gripped my hand tightly in her hand. ''I understand Kol, fate has sure way to mess things up at unexpected times."

We both were quiet after that as we dwell on these words.

Finally I gathered courage to ask her decision. ''So now you know truth?"

She sighed and stared at me. "Kol I love you, and these last few days without you were living hell."

She stared at our joined hands and part of me knew what is about to come. ''That still didn't change a fact that right now I can't be with you. Elena and my family needs me more and as much I want to go back to things were, I can't until Elena..."

She couldn't finish and I realize her dilemma. I brought her hand to plant kiss on it.

''I understand love, its your time to stay on Elena side. I already failed her as brother, I won't let you choose between us."

Tears fell from both our eyes and I wiped her tears away. ''I love you Davina and I will wait for you as long it takes."

She got up and walk towards me giving me parting kiss. ''Good bye Kol." With that she left and I finally let pain consumed me.

End of Flashback )

From then on my home became bar where I spend my evenings drinking my pain away until bar tender cut me off. Today like other nights I was drunk out of my mind so bar tender called cab for me.

The moment I stumbled inside I saw my brothers waiting for me. Seeing my condition they both ran towards me before I could fall.

Nick hold my left arm tightly as I sway on my feet. 'What happened to you?"

I slurred painful words at him. ''Karma's a bitch, Davina has forgiven me but she can't be with me because she needs to stay on Elena side."

They looked at each other while making me sit on couch. ''I am sorry Kol." El told me sincerely for million time.

''Don't be El I already failed Elena as brother , now I can't take her sister away too."

Tears fell from my face as speaking of Elena make me missed someone else. ''I wish Bex was here." I let tears spill as I missed both my sisters.

''Aww look at you emotional saps." I heard my sister's voice and sure enough I saw her standing few feet away. ''Bex!" we all stared at her in surprise. ''Hello brothers." She gave us her brilliant smile.

I stumbled towards her pulling her in tightest hug ever. ''Glad you are here sis." I felt her hugging me back. ''Don't worry brother I am not leaving until I fix everything."

And her assurance bring back hope that was lost inside me.

Author's note:

Sorry for delay but here's is new chapter with surprise entry. Hope it clear something up about what Elena is going through ever since truth came out. Next chapter pure Delana heart to heart where Elena finally face her worst fear. Please send me your reviews. It means a lot to me.