Authors Note: Here is chapter le 36. Hope you all like it^^ Ok, so I just want to note that there is strong wording like of the cursing and sexual joking manner. I hope that you've all have had or will have a happy holiday season. Cheers and lots n lots of love.

In regards to a review.

I'm sorry, and this is to everyone. This piece of writing is crappy and

grammar riddled. Sorry. I'm not much of an editor and would really

love one. I am also sorry for looking ignorant with the smoking pot

thing. A friends opinion is obviously not as good as the real facts.

While I believe marijuana addiction is impossible, still some people

can get addicted. People are entitled to their own opinions, and I

enjoy hearing them. Thank you hihihi for reviewing. I agree with the

editing, feel like an ass for the pot thing, but I still think Axl

Rose and Sash are rock gods; and Freddie Mercury is the greatest

person to walk the planet. From this point out the story ends. And I

hope some of you readers are on for the ride.

Herb3

rated T for a reason... la...^^ cursing! And lots of.

Disclaimer: I disclaim any ownership of and to the Harry Potter world. Its all J. K's mess. Not mine. I'm only here to fix it! ^^

Cheers!

Herb3

Playlist: Hallelujah~ Rufus Wainright. In My Own Prison~ Creed. Through the glass~ Stone sour. The Last Stand~ Adelitas Way. The Song Remains The Same~ Led Zeppelin. Sweet Child O' Mine~ Guns N Roses. Miracles out of Nowhere~ Kansas. Eleanor~ The Turtles. What Is And Never Should Be~ Led Zeppelin. Bus Stop~ The Hollies.

Upon a Glimpse.

Chapter Thirty-Six: For All The Wrong Reasons.

The Nest, Dorset County

England.

The room was filled with silence, a pin could drop and silence would still fill the room. Frankie was in my arms sleeping, he did have a big day. Padfoot, Moony, Frank and Prongs were all sitting at the kitchen table going over something, voices hushed and low. Lily and Alice were on either side of Fabian who was sitting on the sofa while staring into the fire dead like trance. My heart ached for him, to have lost his brother. In the original timeline they both died, this time only one of them. I was waiting for Regulus to burst through the floo, Dumbledore did say he was going to send Regulus to us for the weekend, after all Snape died. Poor Regulus; poor Fabian. Fate didn't seem to be kind to them at the moment. I really wish that Gideon and Snape hadn't died, I could have stopped it, if only I'd of stayed home rather then make Umbridge eat her guts. I should have known, revenge spurs revenge. And hate spurs hate. They come in a full circle, never stopping and ever going. I should pay for this, after all they're just another notch in my price. Stupid! STUPID! My son could have died, two of my good friends did die. Fucking Voldemort! I will hunt him down and skin him. But god that's still revenge. And hunting him down like that would be for all of the wrong reasons.

The dying embers in the fire place burst into life. Growing tall and green, and in a flash of a moment Regulus was stumbling though them. He was still clad in his night clothing as it neared 03:00 in the morning.

"Is everyone alright?" he demanded while heading strait for Sirius who looked up at him with sorrow in his eyes. "No one got hurt right? Clover? Where is Frankie?" he whirled around at me worriedly before sighing at the site of us. "What happened?"

"Death Eaters." Padfoot sighed before standing up and walking over to his brother. "They attacked tonight. We were all at work, they showed up about dusk. Moony and I met up at the ministry and came home together. They were all around the outside when we showed up. I sent Moony off to get help, and when help arrived we went to battle. It was madness." he stopped and looked up at me. "I was so worried. It felt like my gut had been ripped from my stomach. Curses flying everywhere. A couple Auror's got hit, along with a few death eaters."

"Ok. So is everyone ok? Where is Severus? Has he made contact yet?"

"Reg…" Padfoot paused. "Snape he… he died."

"What?" Reg asked in a hallow voice. He began to tremble. "What do you mean Severus is…" he fell to his knees. "He cant be…"

"M'sorry mate. But he is."

The night wore on from there.

Regulus was huddled up in the spare room by himself, after all none of us could blame him for being sad. He lost his lover. Fabian was on the couch sleeping, of course after he downed a couple bottles of whiskey. Everyone else had gone to they're own respective homes, each and everyone of them in a somber mood. I couldn't find sleep. Sirius was snoring on my right; Frank sleeping in the cradle to my left. The sun was rising slowly, the first small rays of day break flittering though our curtains did little to help the need for sleep. Who else would die before this was over? Who else would be lost to this cause? I mean really, was it even worth it? I don't think that I can deal with this anymore, maybe I should just end it all now. Go take out that megalomaniac bastard before he got anyone else. Its no wonder that I cant sleep, I have all they're deaths on my head. First Frank, who died a horrible death just to save me; Gideon who died to save my child; Snape who died to save James… they're all dead. And I could have been home today, to stop this. But no, I had to go and take on Umbridge… I should be avada kedavra'd on spot for all of the things that have happened because of me.

I flipped the covers back and stood up. This wasn't fair, but what in life ever is? I crossed the room to the window and stuck my head under the curtains to see outside the nest. The garden was alive in its near autumn crops. Igraine was in her little hut sleeping softly. I had to make the stand today, I had to take him down now. Before anyone else was lost. I pulled back from the window into the semi darkness of the room. I walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a set of clothes for the day. Once I was dressed I pulled out a bag from the bottom of the wardrobe and put an extra set of clothes in it. I turned to Frankie who was sleeping soundly, his cute face scrunched up. I didn't want to leave him, to abandon him. And it kills me to do this, but there is no other choice, I have to go and stop Voldemort now before it was too late. We're nearing the already too late soon, after all if we don't stop Voldemort before Harry is born then there isn't much hope, time will go exactly how it did before. And we have already come to far to turn back now. I leaned down and kissed Frank on the head, a tear drop falling. I straitened back up and headed for the door.

"Clover?" Padfoot asked groggily from our bed. "What's going on…"

"Nothing, just go back to sleep." I told him a little too quickly before turning the door knob.

"Then why are exactly are you dressed with an overnight bag over you arm while trying to sneak past me?"

"I'm not!" I protested. "I'm going to make breakfast!"

"Liar." he said standing up from our bed. "Your going to sneak off aren't you?"

"No. I am not."

"Clover, at least do me the honesty of not lying to me. I'm not stupid." he told me darkly. "Why? Why do you wanna go off this time?"

"I'm not going anywhere damnit." I spat at him.

"Liar." he ripped my bag from me and unzipped it. "And your going to cook breakfast with a froe?" he asked pulling the long knife out of the bag before shoving it back in and tossing it on our bed. "Why? Why do you want to go off this time?"

"Why? Why do you think Padfoot? Because I want that bastards head on a fucking stick!"

"So you were just going to leave? Just like that? What about our son? Is he in any of your calculations? Or are you really just that selfish." he asked taking a few steps towards me. "What about the people here that care about you? The people that are ready to back you up no matter what? Hmmn?" he spat. "What about me? You really just want to up and leave? Leave me? Leave out newborn son?"

"Of course I don't want to up and leave! I don't want to leave anyone. But I don't have a choice here! He has to be taken care of." I told him nastily. "We knew this was coming! Why is it such a shock to you?"

"A shock to me?" he asked hollowly. "Do you want to know what really is a shock to me? You running off thinking you can save the goddamned world! That's the shock to me. Do you really think you can handle everything on your own? That you can take down Voldemort all on you own? With no one there besides you to back you up when might fail?" he grabbed me by the shoulder and shook me. "Are you fucking insane? Do you really have a death wish?"

"Of course I don't."

"Then what gives? Why are you so gung ho on doing this? aren't you scared? Or have you gotten that arrogant to think that you alone could save the day?"

"I just don't want anyone else to die for this Padfoot." I sighed. "Its not worth it, I should have already taken him down. I should have been here yesterday instead of at the ministry, but I wasn't. I wasn't there, and people died. I don't want anyone else to loose they're lives for my obsessive need to destroy him. I shouldn't have gotten involved with this time period, should have just gone after him. Then I didn't have that much to loose. Now I've got everything. And that bastard knows it, that's why he came here yesterday in the first place."

"Clover. Its no ones fault but his. You cant keep doing this to yourself. And you cant keep going on thinking that you alone can save everything. Its not possible, your not a god. It will take more than you to get him. You have to know that."

"I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Just come back to bed and get some sleep ok? We'll find away." he told me before steering me back over to the bed. "There isn't any point of getting yourself killed, plus it will just make things worse. Get some rest and I'll go cook."

"Padfoot? Really you cooking? I'll be fine once I've got some coffee in my system. You go back to sleep." I rolled my eyes and walked back to the door. "And you don't need to baby-sit me. Your right, I cant take him on alone." he smiled and flopped down on the bed. "In that case some pancakes do sound pretty good…"

I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

.scène change.

The Nest,

Dorset County, Northern England.

1979

Sirius's Point Of View.

The house was quiet, everyone was sleeping, and I was up getting a cup of coffee. The time was nearing three in the morning and I was trying to keep quiet. Both Clover and Frankie were sleeping, and I wanted to keep it that way. I poured myself the cup of coffee I had sought out and lifted it to my lips. The bitter taste of the strait black substance woke me the rest of the way up. The embers in the fireplace were red hot and barely visible in they're deaths. Rain was pelting the roof in sheets, but what can you expect from the weather this time of year? I took another drink and walked over to the kitchen table to sit. I cant believe how things have gone, and to some extent, Clover is right. We do need to take Voldemort out of power before that power grows more. I can scarcely imagine a day where all muggle born witches and wizards are put to trial over stolen magic and executed in the form of they're souls being sucked away by dementor's. That's a future I don't ever want to let happen. I don't know how or where or when, but something changed Clover. Its like she's lost faith in everything. I don't know what possessed her to think that the only way was for her to just go off and kill him. I don't know why she seems to think that the deaths of Snape or Gideon Prewett are her fault. Does she not know that the only person who's fault it was for they're death was the person who orchestrated it in the first place? I don't know what to convince her. I don't even know what got her to this way of thinking the first damn place.

The last embers in the fireplace died and the room was sent into darkness. I don't get it. How did she loose the faith? She was always so forward, so lets go get him because we will win and they will loose. Maybe she just is going in for all the wrong reasons. That has to be it. I cant figure out any other conclusion but that. Maybe now for her its not for the better of the world or the bigger picture but revenge. She has been caught up in that lately. At first I thought it was cute, to see her all angry and frazzled over Umbridge. I should have know, I should have stopped her new vengeful attitude. And I didn't. But that didn't mean that I wouldn't say something now to knock some damn sense in her head. Its like the Malfoy manor scene all over again. I sighed and drank the rest of my coffee. I stood up and dropped it into the sink before heading back to our room. I stopped in the hall in front of the room that Regulus and Fabian were sharing. The light was on. It was then that I heard they're voices. So I listened.

"You must feel pretty bad." I heard Regulus say softly. "To loose your brother."

"Its like part of me died. And in reality, part of me did." Fabian said before giving a great sigh. "He died doing what he believed in though, so that gives me a little comfort. And I'm sure he'd only have it that way."

"Gideon always did seem like that sort of bloke. On the bright side, he's in a better place."

"That's true. I know I'll see him again someday. Its just, my twin. He's gone. Its hard to think about, because part of me doesn't want to deal with it or believe it."

"I'm sure that with time it will get better. They say time heals all wounds."

"I know." Fabian sighed. "How are you? I mean you and Snape were more then friends right? How are you dealing?"

"Not much better. I loved him, and in a flash of a second it seemed like he was taken away from me. Its like my insides are hallow. I don't know what to do."

"Take your own advice. Time heals all wounds."

"Yeah. That is true huh?"

"Of course. The funeral is in a couple days right?"

"Yeah, they're burying him in just outside of Surrey."

"I'll go with you if you want. I mean, to give you some support." Fabian said in a soft tone that barely could be heard through they're door. "If you want I mean."

"I do." Regulus responded. "And if you want I can do the same."

"Sure. I'd really like that."

"Maybe we should get some sleep. Its almost four and you know Lyla will be in here getting us up for breakfast in a while."

"True. You think she'll make those waffles again? They were pretty good. Sirius must have hit a gold mine in her." I smiled at this comment.

"Well my bro's a smart bloke. I suspect it was the food that got him to fall in love with her in the first place."

"I'd believe that." Fabian laughed. "I'll take the floor if you want."

"Nah. We're both old enough to deal right? And I mean the bed's pretty big."

"Alright. Night."

"Night."

And with that the light went out.

I smiled lightly, they both seem to be doing well. I mean I never was much for the whole free love bit that Regulus seemed to radiate, but I do love him and wish him well. I don't have to accept it, and I know part of me never will. While I may not be as prejudice as the rest of our family is, I still don't believe that two men or two women belong together. I know Regulus loved that git though, and for him I am sad. I cant even think about loosing Clover or Frankie, it terrifies me. I don't know how he's doing it, dealing with that on his shoulders. They're both doing good, both him and Fabian. Maybe being around each other will do them some good. I headed the rest of the way down the hall to our room and crept in quietly. The moonlight was bathing the room, sending some rays of light around. Frankie was sleeping with his new teddy he'd just gotten from Lily, its still weird to think that this child was mine. It wow's me. He came from love, and so much more then that and I know he'll always be loved. By Clover, By the guys, by me… I crept over to the bed and slid into the blankets with a smile etched into my face. I cuddled up against Clover and quickly fell into sleeps folds.

.scène change.

An: Alright chapter 36. Phew. Some different point of views there. Pretty short by my standards as my standard is somewhere near five thousand words instead of three but… eh school and life and well this is the best that can be done for this chapter. So I know I'm making the characters that are effected by death heal quick, but really the story is ending so I'm speeding. Sorry for any grammar errors or misspelled words. don't have a beta and I'm a shitty editor. A beta would be nice though. Any hoots. Chapter 36 done! don't forget to review.

Cheers!

Herb3

theherbflower gmail . com

herb3 yahoo . com