Chapter Thirty Three: Always There

Castiel's POV-

My eyes slowly flapped open to the sound of birds chirping and the feeling of my hair being played with. My back ached and as I opened my eyes I realized that I had fallen asleep with my head on Brooke's lap while still sitting in the chair next to her bed. My body was contorted and bent over in an uncomfortable position and as I glanced up to Brooke, I saw that she was awake, silently stroking my hair as I laid my head in her lap. I quickly rose up, immediately feeling hot at the sight of her.

"Good morning, Cas." Brooke cooed, flashing me a sweet smile.

"That must not have been too comfortable for you, I'm sorry…I don't even remember passing out like that…" I was utterly embarrassed.

"Don't apologize. It was actually quite comfy." She giggled, shaking her head.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, raising my arms over my head and stretching.

The hotness of my cheeks was almost unbearable. She had been playing with my hair while I slept…that fact alone was enough to send me into a love drunk stupor.

"The nurses came in and gave me a little more of that di-something…the pain meds. So, it's safe to say I'm okay…" She giggled.

I didn't get my hopes up too much; she was high as a kite, anyway. Plus, after what I almost told her last night, I needed to work on my subtleties.

"Well, good. So the pain isn't too harsh?"

"Nah, I don't feel anything right now. Well, except for a numb lap." She chuckled.

I gritted my teeth with embarrassment, rolling my eyes in anguish.

"Hey, what can I say? Obviously you make a pretty good pillow…" I shrugged.

"Well thanks, I guess…"

She giggled to herself, a faint blush rising to her cheeks.

"Cas?" She blinked, looking up at me from under her sweeping bangs.

"Hmm?"

I was pulling my jacket over my chilly arms, zipping it up half way and giving her a sideways glance.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything. You've been the best friend I could ask for through this. Heck, through everything. I don't know where I'd be without you." She told me, her bright blue eyes alive with sincerity.

I glanced down at the floor, flustered and hot.

"It's not a big deal…"

"No, it is a big deal. I don't know how I got so lucky to have met someone like you." She slurred.

She was clearly feeling a little out of it, but was trying to be serious.

"I'm the lucky one, Brooke."

She held out her arms, inviting me to be swept away in her embrace and I happily obliged. As I wrapped myself around her I felt her sigh with content as she deepened the hug with her good arm.

I pulled away and our eyes locked. Her eyelids flickered but kept the stare nonetheless. My heart beat felt irregular and sounded like a bass drum. I leaned in a little closer, not sure what I was planning on doing. I was on auto pilot, not even thinking about how Brooke was only being so sentimental because of the pain medication.

Just as I moved my lips even closer to hers, my phone rang out, the ringtone loud and booming.

I swiftly caught myself, protruding backwards and snatching my phone from my pocket. Brooke scratched her neck as she watched me, swaying back and forth, her balance seeming a little uneven.

I pressed the phone to my ear, almost thankful to the caller. If my phone hadn't rung, there is really no telling what my instincts would have done.

"H-hello?" I stuttered, my eyes darting to every corner in the room.

"How is she this morning?" I heard Lysander ask from the other end of the line.

"She's doing really great!" I told him, smiling at Brooke.

"Can we come down and visit?" He asked, referring to Nathaniel, Rosalya and himself. He had been texting me nonstop since yesterday, probably waiting for the right time to ask.

"Hold on, I'll ask her."

I pressed the phone to my chest and glanced at Brooke who was playing aimlessly with a loose string on her blanket.

"How would you feel about seeing Lys and the gang?"

Her entire face lit up with excitement. "Are they here?" She asked me intently.

"Not yet, they were just wondering if they could come by." I told her.

"I'd love to see them." She grinned before going back to fiddling with the strings.

"It's a go, bro. I'll see you guys in a few!" I told Lysander, pressing my phone back to my ear.

"Great, see you soon!" He chirped back. I hung up the phone and stuffed it in my pocket, this time keeping my distance from Brooke.

Obviously my hormonal dispositions were very capable of taking advantage of a hopped up, post-surgery Brooke. I couldn't get so close to her while my emotions were running so high. I might just kiss her.

"I'm happy Lysander is coming…" Brooke droned, now studying the ends of her hair.

I stood there awkwardly, sticking my hands in my pockets as I nodded.

"Nate and Rosa, too!" I told her with a smile.

Her grin grew wider and she stuck out her hand, motioning me to come closer.

"Wanna see my scar?" She whispered, once I was closer. How random.

"Uh…do you want me to see your scar?" I asked her, scrunching my nose in confusion.

She nodded her head, biting her lip in suspense.

"It's really cool!" She expressed.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"In that case…"

I walked towards her, peering down at her as she lay in her bed. She slowly started to pull off her blanket and then lifted up her hospital gown, oblivious to the fact that she was exposing her mid drift and pink lace panties to me at the same time.

I could feel my entire face getting hot. I tried so hard to focus on the small scar that was etched into her lower right abdomen. Of course, instead of fixing on the scar, I couldn't help but to study her exposed body. Her hipbones, her cute belly button, her smooth thighs, her adorable pink panties. I quickly turned my head to the side, trying to wipe away the blush and fluster.

"That's really cool, Brooke…"

I felt guilty. I was checking out the girl I loved as she lay in a hospital bed, high on dilaudid, weak and helpless.

"I know, right?" She snickered, thankfully covering herself back up and laying back down onto her pillow.

I ran my fingers through my hair in anguish, feeling completely rattled. I hoped Lysander would show up soon. I couldn't trust myself to be alone with her for much longer without taking her head and kissing her without a second thought.

"Castiel, what's your favorite color?" I heard as I paced across the room, trying to walk off the tension. I turned to her with a sideways grin.

"Guess."

"Red?" She cooed, tilting her head in that adorable way that I love.

I winked at her. "You already knew!"

"Guess mine!" She chirped excitedly.

"Hmm, is it puce green?" I sneered sarcastically, now taking my seat back by her bedside.

"Ew, no! That's the ugliest color ever!"

"I'm kidding, it's yellow." I snickered, shaking my head.

"You knew that?"

"Duh, you wear yellow all the time. Plus, it makes your blue eyes pop. I could have only hoped that your favorite color would be yellow. You look good in yellow…" I told her, shrugging my shoulders.

She stared at me, biting her lip and snickering a bit.

"You know, you don't have to be so nice to me just because I'm in this hospital bed."

"I know that." I breathed, painfully breaking the eye contact and darting my stare to the ground.

I suddenly felt my phone buzz from inside my pocket and I fished into it and plucked it out, bringing it to my view and reading the new text message I had received.

'I heard about Brooke. How is she doing?'

It was from Leigh.

"Who is that?" Brooke asked, running her fingers through her hair in a half-baked, haphazard way.

"It's Leigh, he was just wondering how you were." I told her, being honest and upfront.

"Leigh? As in, my ex-boyfriend?"

"Yeah…"

'She's doing well, thanks for checking in.' I typed back quickly, sending the text.

"Well, that's sweet of him…" She shrugged, now taking the TV remote from her bedside and turning on the TV.

"I guess." I shrugged.

My phone buzzed from my hand once more, and I glanced down.

'Thanks so much for taking care of her. You're a good man. Please tell her that I am thinking about her and hope she gets well soon.' He texted back.

"Leigh says hi, he's thinking about you." I told Brooke with a nod.

She bit her lip and nodded, thinking those words through.

"I miss Leigh sometimes; I wish we could be friends." She told me.

"I'll tell him that. He's done a little growing up; I think it's been long enough. Maybe we can hang out at Lysander's sometime with him."

I wasn't worried about Brooke ever taking Leigh back because I knew she wouldn't; I just wanted her to be happy. Whatever she wanted, I wanted to make it happen for her and if she wanted to be friends with Leigh that was fine by me.

As I heard the doorknob jiggle I glanced over and watched as the door opened and a nurse came sauntering in, followed by three familiar faces. Brooke looked up, doe-eyed and alert.

"Ms. Taylor, you have some visitors!" The nurse chirped happily, holding the door open for Lysander, Nathaniel and Rosalya.

Brooke sat up in bed and flattened her hair down before waving to them with a huge, toothy grin.

"Brooke!" Rosalya chirped, rushing to her and throwing her arms around her neck.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Brooke laughed while she hugged Rosa.

"We're so glad that you're okay!" Lysander told her, coming to stand behind Rosa and wait for his hug.

When Rosa was done holding Brooke, Lysander leaned down and hugged her. I watched over her to make sure they didn't squeeze her too hard. Their embraces were followed by Nathaniel, who held a vase of roses in his arms.

"We got these flowers for you!" He told her, hugging her with one arm.

"They're so pretty! Thanks guys…" Brooke cooed as Nathaniel placed them on the table in the corner. Brooke looked up to admire them fondly.

Roses would have to suffice, I suppose. I would have picked a mixture of her two favorites, though, yellow tulips and blue orchids, but again, roses would do.

"I bet everyone at school is talking about me…" She giggled, looking into the faces of her friends.

"Not in a bad way. Well…Amber did start this rumor but I got it taken care of pretty quickly. Everyone is just worried." Nathaniel told her.

I almost wanted to smack him. Why would he tell her that his idiot sister started a rumor? She didn't need that stress.

"Yeah, everyone has been asking us about you. Alexy and Armin, Kentin, Iris, Violette, Jade, They're all so worried." Rosalya told her with a smile.

"Wh-what rumor did Amber start?" Brooke piped, anxiety in her tone.

I rolled my eyes; she didn't need to be worrying about Amber.

"She told everyone that you overdosed on heroin. Only a few idiots believed it, but the rest of the school knows you pretty well. My sister is a brat, she'll grow up eventually. Don't mind her." Nathaniel explained.

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, the nurses have been pumping heroin into this thing all day to wean me off…" She sneered sarcastically, eyeing her I.V.

"Ew, that thing is gross! Does it hurt?" Rosalya gawked, pointing to the needle in her arm. Brooke looked down at it.

I rolled my shoulders with nerves. Rosalya shouldn't have pointed out Brooke's I.V. I worried that it would make her feel bad.

"Um, not really… She shrugged, looking over to them with a smile.

"Do you feel any pain from the surgery sight?" Lysander asked her.

Why was everyone asking questions? Couldn't they just enjoy her presence and be happy she was okay?

"I'm high on pain meds right now, so no." Brooke giggled.

"You're high?" Nathaniel asked, squinting his eyes.

"As a kite." I snickered.

"I couldn't even tell!" Lysander laughed.

I sat at the edge of her bed and took Brooke's hand in mine.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright, little girl?" I asked her quietly as everyone else chattered around her. I worried that maybe them being here was too much.

"I'm fine, Cas! Stop worrying, you big sissy!" She giggled, poking my chest with her finger.

I gasped playfully.

"No one calls me a sissy and gets away with it! Soon as you're feeling better I owe you a beating." I told her teasingly, winking at her and shaking my head.

Lysander, Rosa and Nathaniel stayed for around an hour, talking with Brooke and really lifting her spirits. Maybe I was being too defensive of her, because she really seemed to cheer up while they were here. They left with the promise of coming back to see her soon, and in an instant we were alone together again. As much as I loved the alone time, it was proving to be a little too much for me and I was continuously having to remind myself to keep control.

"Cas, will you please go home tonight? It's not that I don't want you here, I just feel so bad…" Brooke told me as we watched a re-run of Myth Busters.

"I told you, I don't have anything better to do." I sneered.

"But you do, I know you do. I would feel a lot better if you went home and got some sleep…really." She pressed, looking defeated and worn.

I wanted to stay by her side so badly. She needed me, didn't she?

"We'll talk about it." I huffed, my eyes fixing themselves on the television. I didn't want to leave, but a huge part of me was telling me that it would only be for the best if I did.

We aimlessly watched a few more ridiculous episodes of the television show in silence, Brooke napping on and off. While she slept, I played Tetris on my phone and phased in and out of watching the TV, slipping into a vacancy of my own. I hardly even noticed the nurse as she snuck into the room until I heard the door close. I looked up from my phone and smiled at her, glancing over to Brooke, who was now stirring from her light nap.

"Hello Brooklyn, sorry to wake you." She spoke softly, making her way over to her bedside.

"Mmm…" Brooke moaned as she sat up, sighing and holding out her arm.

"I'll change out this I.V for a new one after the examination." The nurse told her as she ran her routine checks.

While the nurse collected Brooke's temperature, she turned to her with a smile.

"Would you like to try and take a shower tonight?" The nurses asked her.

"I need a shower…" Brooke sighed, nodding her head.

"Well I can certainly help you with that if you'd like. Or maybe your boyfriend could help you? Whatever you're comfortable with." She told her.

Brooke looked at her with a blank stare as the nurse waited for a reply. I knew she wasn't the type to correct her for calling me her boyfriend, and I loved every minute of it. According to the nurse, Brooke was mine.

"Um…" She droned, scratching her neck in embarrassment. I hoped she wouldn't ask me to help her. I really couldn't deal with that.

"Cas?" She peeped, her blue eyes blinking and waiting.

"Huh?" I gulped, hoping she wasn't asking me to help her in the shower.

"W-will you…um, help me?" She stammered, turning red.

"Oh…oh, of course little girl. I'll help you." What was I going to do, say no? I couldn't say no to her.

"Well, let me get this catheter out. I'll give you some time to shower and you can just press the call button when you're dry and ready for me to come back and insert the new catheter." The nurse told her, leaning down and carefully removing the tape from Brooke's arm that covered the line in her arm.

She quickly pulled out the line from Brooke's arm and then stuck a bandage over it. Brooke winced, turning her head to me and gritting her teeth.

"The shower is in the bathroom, and there are instructions inside on how to use it, but it's very simple. Please don't hesitate to call if you need any help." The nurse told her. She put a waterproof bandage over her stitches before leaving us.

Brooke giggled and looked over at me with a smirk.

"So, are you cool with seeing me naked?" She chuckled wildly.

No, no I was NOT cool with seeing her naked. Okay…maybe I was a little cool with it, but not under these circumstances. I was freaking out.

"Uh, I won't…um…" I stammered, trying to find words.

"I'm kidding. You can close your eyes, right?" She asked, still giggly.

"Definitely closing my eyes for this one, little girl." I scoffed, taking her hand and helping her out of bed.

Her first steps were wobbly, like a newborn fawn. We slowly made our way across the room to the bathroom, my skin crawling and my heart jumping. What had I gotten myself into?

I lead her as she held my arm into the bathroom and then closed the door, looking around as I let her gather her balance.

"So um, should I just take this thing off?" She asked, looking down at her gown.

"Um…" I trailed, scratching my neck.

She reached over with her bandaged arm to the strings in the back and gave up, whining in pain.

"I can hardly even move this arm…" She sighed.

"I'll get them for you…" I told her, swallowing the bile in my throat. She turned around and faced me. I tried so hard to control my wandering eyes.

I carefully untied the strings, starting with the ones on the top, and working down.

"Don't peep at me now, Cas!" She giggled.

"I won't, promise." I breathed, my hands shaking as I untied the last set of strings, pressing my eyes closed tightly as the back of the hospital gown fell open.

My left eyelid defied me and squinted open for just a second and I breathed in when I caught a quick glance of her backside.

I was beating myself in my head, over and over again, and gushing at the same time at how perfect she was.

"Okay, I broke my promise but I swear I didn't mean to…" I told her truthfully, my eyes still pressed shut.

"Cas! You saw my butt?!" She screeched. I felt her good arm shove me and I took a step back, snickering.

"Accidently!" I admitted, shrugging my shoulders.

"You're so lucky I'm doped up right now…" She laughed, grabbing onto my shoulder. I could feel her stepping forward into the shower.

"Can you reach out and close the curtain?" She asked me.

I felt blindly in front of me and when my fingers grazed across the plastic of the shower curtain I grabbed it and dragged it across the line, closing it and saving myself from my disobedient eyes.

"A-are you okay in there?" I asked her, sitting on a chair in the corner of the bathroom.

"Yeah, I can do most of this stuff one armed." She called back, the roaring of the water muffling her tiny voice.

I slouched down in the chair, resting my head on the wall and looking up to the ceiling. Suddenly, I heard something that sent chills up my arms.

From inside the shower, over the thunder of the water pressure, I heard a beautiful, angelic voice singing the lyrics to a familiar ballad.

Brooke was singing in the shower and her voice was breathtaking. I leaned forward, hanging onto every word. I sighed with passion, falling even more in love with her. She was everything I wanted.

I fantasized about pulling the shower curtain back, grabbing her soaking wet body and pulling it close to mine, soaking my own clothes as I pushed my lips against hers. I shook the dirty, unrequited wishes back into the furthest corner of my mind and just continued to listen to her voice as it echoed through my skull.

When she finally shut the shower off, I grabbed a towel and stuck it through the shower curtain, turning my head to the side to avoid stealing anymore glances.

"Thanks!" She chirped, grabbing the towel.

I kept my eyes off of her body as I aided her in putting her hospital gown back on, and then I walked her back into her room, helping her back into bed. Her hair was wet and stringy and fell around her face in a wavy mess. I loved it.

"I feel so much better…" She breathed, laying back down into her pillow.

"I'm glad to hear it, little girl."

I took my seat by her bedside and smiled at her.

"Even though my best friend saw my butt…" She snickered. I was getting hot again and could feel myself turning red.

"Hey, you asked for it by deciding to let me help you get undressed!" I chuckled.

She giggled and looked over at her bare arm.

"It's actually weird not having the I.V in…" She hummed.

"Oh yeah..." I leaned over and pushed the red call button to alert the nurses that she needed her catheter put back in.

"I don't want them to put another needle in me…" Brooke whined, pouting as she tossed her head.

"You're scared of a little needle?" I teased.

She nodded her head and puckered her lips. If it were up to me, I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt her, but unfortunately she needed another catheter set.

"You'll be fine, they don't even put a real needle in you. It's just a flimsy plastic tube. It doesn't hurt." I tried to console her.

"I really wish that my appendix never decided to burst…" She sighed, her face dropping into a upsetting frown.

Just as she finished talking, the nurse pushed the door open and walked to us.

"How was your shower, Brooklyn?"

Brooke shrugged, obviously nervous.

"First let's take care of your wet bandage and I'll put a dry one over it." She told Brooke, lifting up her hospital gown to change the bandage. I kept my eyes glued to the TV.

"And now just let me get my line and needle and I'll set your catheter."

"Do I have to have a catheter?" Brooke asked meekly. I looked on, wishing I could take her pain away.

"Unfortunately you do, sweetie. Just for a few more days…" The nurse told her, trying to ask sympathetic.

Brooke sighed and grabbed the sides of the bed with her good arm as the nurse took her supplies from the counter and placed them on a silver stand by Brooke's bedside. Brooke reluctantly offered her arm up to the nurse who grasped it and began poking around to find a vein.

"I really don't like needles…" Brooke breathed heavily. I offered her my hand.

"You can squeeze me if you want." I told her.

Instead, she buried her head into my shoulder before grabbing my outstretched hand.

"Little poke…" The nurse warned her. I looked up and watched her as she slide the catheter into Brooke's arm. Brooke groaned in pain into my shoulder and I used my free hand to stroke her hair.

"Shh, all done little girl." I whispered to her.

The nurse quickly applied a piece of tape around the catheter and then screwed it to the I.V line.

"Finished! Good job, Brooke!" The nurse chirped.

Brooke was still shaken from the experience and held me tight, a few tears escaping the sides of her eyes. The nurse gave Brooke more dilaudid and after she left Brooke looked up from my shoulder, her big blue eyes breaking my heart.

"Y-you lied…you said it wouldn't hurt…but it did." She sniffed.

The effects of the dilaudid were obvious in her slurred words.

"Brooke I would never lie to you…I guess everyone's pain tolerance is different. I'm sorry…" I told her, patting her back.

She breathed in and looked over at her arm.

"I-I'm sorry Cas. I'm acting like a big baby..." She blurted, now wiping at her tears swiftly.

"It's okay to be scared sometimes. You don't have to act all tough in front of me." I told her.

"I know. You're the only person I could bare to do that in front of. I'm glad you're here with me…" She droned, her tone becoming distant as the dilaudid made her drowsier.

"I'm glad to be here." I told her sincerely.

"I know that…b-but could you do me a favor tonight?"

'Anything." I breathed.

"Please go home…get some rest. You can come back tomorrow. Just please go home and take care of yourself." She pressed.

I sighed. I didn't want to leave her, but I couldn't continue to make her feel guilty like this.

"Alright. Fine." I half-heartedly agreed. I would at least wait until Christa came back so that she wouldn't be alone, but I wasn't happy about it.

"Thanks Cas. For everything." She murmured, closing her eyes as her head sunk further into the pillow.

"Anytime, little girl."

She was breaking my heart more than she ever did when she was with Leigh or Kentin. As I watched her drift off to find peace and comfort in her dreams I wished so badly I could trade places with her. I didn't want to leave her, but I knew that if I was in her position I would feel the same way that she did, but even if I was going home tonight, I would continue to be there for her, and when she recovered, I was finally going to tell her how I felt about her.

So it looks like this story will be closer to forty chapters before I finish it; still have a few more things to come, but I hope you enjoyed the fluff of these last few! Thank you all SO much for your amazing reviews, you guys are the BEST!