A/N: In comparison, this one was pretty difficult to write XD Now that Kingdom Hearts is taking shape, Xigbar tries to rattle Luxord which may or may not have anything to do with Dream Drop Distance...

XXXVI. No Time Like the Present

I was slowly but surely beginning to understand what Marluxia had left behind. By picking up the fragments of memories he had strategically left behind, I could almost build a complete picture of what he was going through in his final moments. It was shocking how much I couldn't remember a great deal of my last conversation with Marluxia. I couldn't recall what I said or how I had said them, but the one thing that did stick was how carefree he was.

Marluxia had avoided my question about whether our separation was intentional. He had dodged a lot of the questions, but that was the one that killed our final conversation. Ultimately, Marluxia made every effort to make sure I didn't go with him, so that I wouldn't follow him to his airy grave. That much was certain.

Marluxia saw so much wrong with the world. In his eyes, everything was in chaos. He saw it as his duty to amend things, even if there was nothing to fix. He tampered with matters beyond his control with no thought of the consequences he would cause. All those efforts were merely a diversion from boredom.

He also knew, in his own twisted way, exactly what he was doing. I only wished he had the decency to tell me what I had to do. He had tasked me to pick up from where he left off, but I had no idea where to begin.

I sighed as I settled down on the floor of my newfound sanctuary. Havoc's Divide, unlike anywhere in the castle, did not have a view of the city below. It was an alcove from within the castle itself, surrounded by the walls and roofs of the rest of the castle. The architecture really was splendid when one looked it from the outside, with its tall spires and towers.

What was more appealing was that, although I was sat on the floor, it sloped in such a way that I could almost trick myself into thinking I was on a roof.

Kingdom Hearts grew larger and brighter by the day, and it was a miracle that a world of perpetual darkness finally had some light. I admired the handiwork that Roxas had singlehandedly done for the Organisation. Our weapons were unable to contain hearts, and Roxas had accomplished more in a few months than anyone had done in years.

Everything was going according to what the Superior wanted, but was this scenario the very thing Marluxia was trying to avoid? Was Kingdom Hearts a sign of our salvation or our destruction? If Marluxia hadn't been so cryptic, perhaps I would have had some understanding of what he was trying to prevent.

"So this is where you hang out."

I jumped slightly, and Xigbar's booming laugh tore across Havoc's Divide. "Is there any reason why you were looking for me?" I asked in annoyance as I turned my head to face him.

Xigbar, much like the other Organisation members, had looked considerably older once I made time move for Zexion. His streaks of white hair were a good indicator, but his age lines around his face and neck were the things that gave it away.

Much to my dismay, Xigbar hardly looked bothered. "Not particularly. Just felt like a walk, and I stumbled across here." After the events at Castle Oblivion, I only saw any of the other members after missions. I was an early riser, and no one else was usually awake save for me and Saix. Xigbar was no exception, and it was a pleasant surprise to know he hadn't turned in for the night.

I raised a hand as a gesture to say that I appreciated the company, and Xigbar complied. He settled down quickly, and noticed instantly Kingdom Hearts right there before him. "It's a nice retreat you've chosen."

I brought one knee to my chin, keeping my other leg stretched out before me. "Thank you."

Xigbar tilted his head towards me. "Kingdom Hearts is finally starting to take shape. Are you starting to feel like your old self?"

"Should I?" I countered as I cast a fleeting glance at my friend. "It's an embodiment of hearts and emotions, but none of them are truly mine. It is a remarkable sight though." More than anything, I had become accustomed to what I had become. Even though I didn't have a heart, I had joined the Organisation out of sheer curiosity. That was my driving force. Everyone else in the Organisation had their own end games too, Xigbar included. "What about you?" I inquired.

He rubbed at his eyebrow, but it wasn't out of tiredness. "The way I see it, it doesn't get more real than this. Everything we're working towards is within our grasp, and it's only a matter of time before we claim it for ourselves." The Nobody leaned forwards very slightly. "Although, as you put it, your heart isn't really there, don't you feel even slightly elated by being around so many?"

I furrowed my eyebrows as I tried to formulate an answer that didn't involve repeating myself. There was an abundance of hearts there in the sky, but it didn't stir anything within me. "I merely believe that it's too early to celebrate."

"Yeah, I see your point there," Xigbar mused. "Anything can happen between now and completion."

I nearly made a remark that I was sure to regret. I cleared my throat to better disguise my original intention of mentioning Castle Oblivion.

Xigbar's gaze slowly dropped from Kingdom Hearts to me. I kept my expression as neutral as possible. I certainly didn't feel anything like what Xigbar did, but maybe the moon's effect varied from Nobody to Nobody. It was an entity of raw emotion and desires, and it was interpreted in a slightly different way, much like how one could interpret a bluff where there wasn't.

I had to say, in all the years I had known Xigbar, I didn't like the way he was looking at me. He was trying to get under my skin and, in that one visible eye, I knew that he was trying to see me for who I was. It seemed like I was looking into Kingdom Hearts itself, a vivid shade of amber with a ring of orange around the pupil. Much like when an opponent throws in all his chips to match his bet, Xigbar had a look on his face to suggest he was trying his best to hide his enthusiasm.

I had played against a number of exceptionally challenging opponents. Xigbar was not one of them, but he wanted to think he was. In a way, that made him a formidable player.

It wasn't long until I had to tear my eyes away from his. It was certainly a sign of weakness, I was fully aware of that, yet there was something uncanny about how Xigbar was behaving. I willed a pack of card in one hand and started to idly shuffle them. If I wanted to break Xigbar, I needed him to play by my rules. "Fancy a game? Just like old times."

I started dishing out the cards before he could refuse. I wasn't paying attention to what the cards were holding. I tossed them into our separate hands, rather carelessly for my standards, and I came to realise that it really didn't matter who won. It had been a long time since I felt the need to defend myself. I had to compose myself, and a friendly game was the most effective way I could do that.

Xigbar gave a dry laugh as he picked up his cards. "You don't have a reason to fix the cards this time, do you?"

"Indeed. If you'd like to make a wager, you can be sure that the cards are in neither of our favour." I waited until Xigbar had looked at his own cards before I snuck a look at mine. "When do you think Kingdom Hearts will be completed?"

"When the Superior says it is," Xigbar said dismissively. He fingered the top of one card idly, debating whether to discard it or not.

I laughed softly. "Who was jumping the gun earlier and saying it's nearly finished?"

In that instant, I knew I had said something wrong. In the past, we would have bantered over a beer and accused each other of multiple things. Although he faced frustration and repetition each and every day he tried to convince me to join the Organisation, he didn't let that stop him from having a good time doing so.

Xigbar, however, was not impressed with my comment.

I couldn't help but wave my free hand dismissively. "If I've touched a nerve, I apologise."

My apology went amiss as Xigbar chose to discard his card and pick up another moodily. It apparently wasn't what he was hoping, for he rearranged himself to be more comfortable in an attempt to disguise his disappointment. Clearly he too wasn't trying overly hard to win the game as well.

"I can only assume that I will only feel as you do further down the line."

I wasn't expecting Xigbar to reply. There was something about his attitude that didn't ring true to me. He certainly had an agenda in mind, and I had a gut feeling that it wasn't his first. The only thing I could put him down for was that he was trying to evaluate me. Maybe, through a series of one-to-one interviews like this, he was deducing who was resonating with Kingdom Hearts and who wasn't.

Truth to be told though, I didn't want to accept its divine blessing. Until I knew whether Kingdom Hearts was the sign of our salvation or demise, I wanted no part in it.

Xigbar made a noise of affirmation. "Maybe. It can be a bit scary going through the transition, but remember that it's nothing to be worried about. Kingdom Hearts is powerful, and soon you'll come to realise there's no going back. Once you're there though…" Xigbar paused dramatically as he ran a hand through his hair. "Well, let's say that you'll feel like you could conquer anything."

There was something about the delivery of his words that twisted its reassuring meaning into something else entirely. The time to claim back our hearts were nigh, yet I couldn't see the appeal. I had always been an observer, the dealer of a long-drawn game. It didn't matter to me who turned out the victor. I was in it for the entertainment.

I didn't say anything until I changed my entire hand of cards. Kingdom Hearts came with a different set of rules that the Superior was letting on – was that what Marluxia had discovered? My eyes locked with Xigbar's. I wanted to see every aspect of his reaction in order to prove one point. "Were the casualties at Castle Oblivion worth it?"

Xigbar gave a toothy grin, and I could tell he was doing his very best to feign composure. The fact I took him by surprise spoke incredible volumes. "I didn't pin you as the type to dwell on the past. Castle Oblivion happened months ago."

I returned his smile, partly to annoy him. "One can't fully appreciate the present without first understanding the past. Had you forgotten so quickly that our success is built upon their sacrifice?"

My comment must have cheered Xigbar up considerably, for he shook his head in mild disbelief. "You're an odd one, aren't you? It's exactly those thoughts that should ring true with Kingdom Hearts. What if I told you that those at Castle Oblivion didn't matter – would that make you angry?"

There was no way for me to know for certain, but I had the impression that Xigbar was trying to back me into a corner. Saix had mentioned before that he was doing me a favour by not sending me to Castle Oblivion. By extension, it seemed that the team were always meant to fail. Xigbar's remark wasn't so outlandish, but why was it so important to him for me to react? What was he trying to accomplish?

"No. I'd say that if that's the will of the Superior, then that's that."

Xigbar's eyebrow twitched slightly as he revealed his hand of one pair. "You're loyal to Xemnas, and yet you show no interest in Kingdom Hearts. I do look forward to when you fully mature."

I was tempted to detract the conversation by revealing my hand, but I decided to simply make the cards disappear without concluding the game. Xigbar blinked a few times as it disappeared before his very eyes. "The Organisation required my assistance, and I gladly obliged. I am not required to yearn for the same objective, and I have reason to believe that it was for this reason the Castle Oblivion team was disposed. As long as I do my bit to help my comrades, that is more than enough for me."

That was the only satisfaction I needed. If the Superior really was as corrupt as Marluxia made him out to be, I wanted to be in a position to protect my comrades. Until such a time that I worked out how to protect them, I had no idea what cards to hide up my sleeve.