CHAPTER 36 - Bittersweet Moonlight

Jenelle didn't tell anyone when she had decided to return to her dormitory. She didn't want Sarah to fuss over her, or the boys to be dragging along with their apologies and well wishes.

She particularly didn't want to have Dumbledore eyeing her with those keen, blue eyes, so perceptive and capable of tearing down her carefully masoned walls. What she wanted was a few hours to hide in obscurity, tucked away from the rest of the school behind the heavy, velvet curtains of her bed.

She had explained the gist of her wishes to Madam Pomfrey, who saw fit to take pity on the "poor dear" and allowed her to make her way home in the early hours of the morning when she was sure even the night owls would still be asleep.

The mediwitch had handed her a lighted candle and warned that the light from a lumos spell might wake the dozing portraits. She also pressed a few corked bottles of different tonics and potions into a cloth satchel and reached up on her toes to place it over the tall girl's shoulder.

Jenelle thanked the woman sincerely, reaching out for a hug and clinging for longer than was likely appropriate in British etiquette. But the kind mediwitch merely stood in a fierce grip with her arms around Jenelle's shoulders until Jenelle felt she could be allowed to be released.

She was wearing one of her simple, white nightgowns that Narcissa had been kind enough to bring with her during one of her visits. She carried the wrinkled green mess of her party dress in her bag. It was tear-stained now, with a dusting of broken pottery and singed from the sparks of broken spells of almost a week before.

Jenelle didn't want to have to look at it again. That was normally the case for anything she was wearing on days she had experienced episodes. She wanted, more than anything, to stuff all memories aside and pretend like the whole fiasco had never happened.

As she slipped silently down the darkened halls she found herself pausing to stare out the dirty pane windows, looking down into the outer courtyard of the castle. The moon, having been full and bright in the sky, was now dipping below the horizon with the first light of day. The courtyard was visible in the blue hues of twilight and Jenelle could make out dark shadows cast by naked trees. Everything was as still as death, with not a single gust of wind to make the branches dance above the ground.

Before Jenelle could turn from the glass, slightly fogged from her breath, she saw figures moving into the courtyard. Their movements were easily spotted in the stillness and seemed to be grouped together in a tight knot. Jenelle pressed her free hand to the glass and wiped away the condensation. Her candle was held up beside her, hoping to cast what little light it held on the figures below.

At the sight of her candle, she saw three heads glance up at her. Their features were unclear and their clothes all muted in blue, too dark to discern house colors. She squinted harder, trying to make out any telling characteristics of the mysterious group wandering the castle ground at this odd hour.

They were probably boys, their tall figures and short hair being the telltale signs. They also seemed to be carrying something between them. Arms were wrapped around two of their shoulders and Jenelle saw a gleam of light refracting off the fourth head of flaxen hair….

The Marauders?

Jenelle quickly pulled her candle from the window and backed up a few steps. It took a moment to register what she had just seen. But before too long it was obvious that the boys were returning from a night in the Forbidden Forest with their lycanthrope friend.

Jenelle had tried to ignore any of the signs of her love interest's...condition, but she knew.

Of course she knew.

There wasn't a witch or wizard alive in her time who hadn't heard of the Battle of Hogwarts and the heros of the war against Voldemort. One of the many wonderful repercussions of the entire thing had been an awareness and understanding for those afflicted with magical ailments.

But that man she had read about in her textbooks seemed so far removed from the boy she was growing attached to. Remus was, well... Remus.

Making a sudden decision, Jenelle turned and started flying down the corridor in the darkness. Her candle fell from it's brass stand and she left it clanking loudly in her wake.

As she descended the stairs down to the grand foyer, the boys were already on their way up another staircase leading to Gryffindor Tower. It was still very dark in the big open space and she didn't want to be caught and blow the cover Madam Pomfrey had been kind enough to get her. So she skidded over to the stone railing and whispered as loudly as she could over the side.

"Hey!"

The boys paused and she saw pale faces turning back to look her way. She was certain they made eye contact with her through the dimly lit hall and watched their movements. She saw the tallest of the four, Sirius it had to be, unfurl Remus' arm from his neck and place it over Peter's. Then the three started back up the stairs, a fair bit slower with Peter struggling to hold up his heavy friend.

Jenelle rounded the end of the banister and tiptoed down the steps as Sirius came across the polished stone floor towards her. The hush was so silent Jenelle could hear each of her steps tapping lightly as she moved.

"What are you doing?" Sirius whispered harshly. There wasn't an ounce of worry in his voice, only exasperation. Jenelle was thrown for a moment and had to swallow and gather her thoughts before she answered.

"I ju- I saw you in the courtyard. I wanted to see what was wrong," she said, leaning to look over Sirius' shoulder as James and Peter carried Remus' dragging feet behind a doorway and out of site.

"Nothing's wrong. We just had one too many Fire Whiskeys out at the Shack," Sirius said, unperturbed.

Jenelle raised an eyebrow. "I don't smell any alcohol on you."

"Yeah well, I was the Sober Sally this time around, wasn't I?" Sirius scowled, refusing to make eye contact with the blonde who stood tall enough to stare him dead in the eye.

Jenelle felt herself growing hot and had to take a breath. The anger was making her head hurt and the run had basically wiped away any energy she had left.

"Alright Sirius, I didn't come here to fight with you." She sighed, pressing a few fingers to her temple. "I just... wanted to know if he's alright. Remus, that is."

Sirius glanced her way at that. "He's fine. He'll sleep it off like he always does."

"Right, I'm sure you take great care of him," Jenelle said drowsily.

The tone must have confused the dark-haired boy because he shifted his stance and placed his hands lazily on his hips. "What's that supposed to mean, Montagnard?"

"Mean? It doesn't mean anything."

"I don't like your tone."

"My tone? Sirius, I'm sorry, I'm just now getting out of the infirmary. I'm on my way back to my dormitory where I'm hopefully going to sleep." Jenelle wasn't sure how her worry had turned into an argument with the boy but wasn't looking to make a rift between herself and the guy who was at her best friend's heels for half of the day.

Sirius glanced behind him at the steps where his friends had gone a few moments before. "Listen, Monty, I have to check on my mates. Can we leave it, please? I don't need another detention from McGonagall this term."

"Yeah, sure. I didn't mean to snap at you; you should go." Jenelle looked at him gently and tried to plead her case with her soft expression. "Take care of him, won't you?"

"We got it. You don't have to worry."

Sirius turned to leave but whipped back around. "Could you, maybe, not mention this to Sarah? I don't need to give her a reason to mistrust me, if you know what I mean." He did his best to give what Jenelle was sure was a convincing grin for most girls.

Heh, fat chance.

Jenelle smiled and nodded. "Sure thing, Sirius."

"Right. Well, goodnight then," and he was off and up the stairs to the Tower. Jenelle heard his shoes stomping out of earshot as she turned back towards her own common room.

She wasn't sure what she had expected to get from that encounter. Her foggy mind must have gotten the best of her. Sarah wouldn't be happy that she had almost blown their cover by knowing something they shouldn't. But Jenelle could still feel the tingle on her lips where Remus had kissed her and couldn't do anything but act when she saw the boy slumped and being carried away like a wounded soldier off the battlefield.

It was one thing to read about werewolves in a textbook, but a whole other thing to see the anguish and work that went into helping them.

Is this how people feel around me? Is that how I affect the people around me when I have episodes?

And it wouldn't end either. Just like for her fair-haired Remus, it would never end.

When Jenelle woke up the next day, it was already after lunch. She pulled the pillow out from under her head and placed it over her face, groaning that half the day was gone already. She hated sleeping past eleven. It was a motto ingrained in her by her father who was always up before the sun.

"Sleep to eleven and you may as well stay in bed, the day is wasted."

"I guess being shacked up in the infirmary for nearly a week is about the same," she spoke to the darkness above her bed. The canopy around her bed blocked the light from the lanterns and made it impossible to tell the time. She pulled aside the heavy velvet and looked again at the clock on the side table.

"Ugh, there is going to be hell to pay for missing another Magical Creatures class. Poor Sarah is probably ready to stab herself in the face to relieve the congestion in her head," she chuckled slightly at the metaphor, regardless of the dark connotation.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat herself up. Her head was still foggy and unsettled, like sand kicked up under water. She closed her eyes and tried to feel the cold stone floor through her socks. When the dizzy spell wouldn't die she slid forward and sat on the ground beside her bed, laying her head back against the mattress.

She had forgotten how long it took for this uneasy feeling to pass. She was all at once ready to jump at the smallest noise and sleep for a millennia. There wasn't a space in her mind that wasn't swimming with images and sounds and smells.

"Oh! You're here after all!" Jenelle heard a familiar smooth voice call from behind her. Turning her head to look over the bed she saw Narcissa walking towards her, throwing a bag of heavy books on her own bunk and slipping off her heavier Slytherin robe to toss on the back of a nearby chair.

"I am. I got here last night, but everyone was sleeping," Jenelle explained.

"You should have said something! One of us would have come to escort you," the small blonde scolded.

"I appreciate it Cissy, but I think the walk on my own did me good." She smiled and tried to show how appreciative she was of the gesture. Narcissa seemed to shrug it off and came to sit on the floor across from her.

"Oh! The floor is freezing. What are you doing down here?" The girl looked about and picked a small piece of lint off the ground, flicking it away with a frown.

Jenelle sighed and placed her head back on the bed. "I feel better when I'm on the ground. It's like being a shipped docked at port. I'm still floating, but at least I have leverage."

"Hm, can't say I've ever felt like a ship," Narcissa said, clearly not in the mood to think deeply.

If she ever really was in that sort of mood, Jenelle thought.

"Anyways, how are things here? Did you all miss me?" Jenelle gave a small wink and Narcissa smiled, now back to her frivolous, egoist self.

"You've missed so much! After the party, Lucius escorted me all the way back here and I even got a parting kiss," the girl whispered proudly. She pulled down a piece of her long hair as she spoke and absentmindedly picked away the split ends.

She seemed such a simple soul. She'd never let concerns for the future or worries of the past stop her from enjoying the now. Perhaps this little snowflake of a Slytherin had something to teach her after all?

"That's great, Cissy. I'm happy for you," Jenelle smiled, and she meant it.

"Reg saw us though, and he won't stop being a brat about it, no matter what I say!" she huffed.

"Had you stopped to think he is probably jealous?" Jenelle asked.

"Well, of course he is! He hasn't managed a snog since he entered school and the whole of Slytherin house knows it," Narcissa spoke matter-of-factly.

"I don't know if that's so importan-"

"It's important," she eyed Jenelle warily and the witch shut her mouth and stifled a laugh at the ridiculousness of the conversation.

"Say, did Lucius say anything else about that night? Maybe about the Original Twelve?" Jenelle investigated.

"What? Oh, the Ilvermorny stuff? I don't know. He doesn't talk about that sort of thing with me. We mostly talk about our families and school work," she chittered, getting up and brushing the dust from her skirt. "Although, he did say something about some advantageous networking he was excited to pursue. He's very good at networking, you see. He says it's very important to always be on guard for people who can help you to build your own personal empire. It's inspiring, he's so intelligent."

Jenelle had to force herself not to grab the sheets from her bed and hang herself with them right then and there.

"Right, well I should probably shower and get dressed. I'm going to try heading to a class today. I can't miss Divination again or I'll never catch up on the coursework."

"Huh, Divination. Why do you bother with that drivel? It's all nonsense anyway." Narcissa scoffed as she pressed back her hair into a low ponytail and secured it with a hair tie. Jenelle rolled her eyes quickly before the girl could see and then slowly picked herself up off the floor.

"There's a lot to be learned from Divination. About yourself, if not the future," she said as nonchalant as she could.

"Well, you'll tell me if there's any danger in my future, won't you Monty?" Narcissa winked and walked over the pat Jenelle playfully on the arm.

Goodness, if only I could. I would tell you to stay away from that slimeball who will drag you down a dark and tortuous path.

But that was something forbidden. And she wouldn't even if she could.

"Of course, Cissy," was all she said.

The girl giggled and bent down to open the large cherry truck at the end of her bed. Jenelle turned back to her own dresser and started pulling out her shower things. When she had her towels and cleansers in hand she looked over at Narcissa's bed and the beautiful silver gown that lay over the quilted comforter.

"Wow, Cissy! That's beautiful. What's the occasion?" Jenelle asked amazed. She walked over to look more carefully at the sequined fabric.

Narcissa looked her way and gave a sarcastic snort. "You're joking, right? It's for the Harvest Ball you dippy!" She ran her hands over the gown and smiled to herself.

"The what?"

"Don't tell me, you didn't know about the Ball?" Narcissa looked taken aback, hand placed gently on her breast and lips slightly parted.

"Uh, I don't suppose I do. Is it like a dance?" Jenelle could only think of the occasional nights that Ilvermorny upperclassmen could throw their own parties and spend the whole night dancing, gorging on unhealthy snacks and spiked punch. Or the occasional community contra dance hosted by the faculty and staff for local magic folk.

"It's a ball, of course there's dancing! The Harvest Ball is the best event of the year! A far cry from a Slug Club Party or an evening at the Three Broomsticks," the fiery girl said poshly.

"All the upperclassmen get to attend and it's the prime opportunity to scope out the sort of advantageous networking Lucius was talking about!"

"Oh, so no invitation required? Can anyone go?"

Narcissa rolled her eyes, just a bit. "Well yes, I'd say that about the only downfall is that any old witch or wizard can throw a smock on and attend. But the best of us, and I do mean us Slytherins, will be dressed to impress. Preening our feathers and casting our nets I guess you'd say. Though families like mine and the Malfoys are of a different caliber. That's why my arrangement with Lucius was set up by our fathers."

"Wow, you all take it very seriously," Jenelle mused, starting to see where this Ball may be problematic. "So I'm guessing we have to be accompanied again?"

"That's correct. And none of this, inter-house mingling. I won't have it! This is an evening for house pride!" Narcissa gently lifted her silvery gown and waved it about in front of Jenelle's eyes, dazzling her and making her head pound a bit.

"Right, no lion dates." Jenelle tried her best not to look as disappointed as she felt. She remembered seeing Remus come skipping down the stairs two at a time at the sight of her before the Slug Party and had a little pity party for the moment that wouldn't be recreated.

"Don't look like that, we'll find you a proper date. A real pure blooded gentleman. And a dress! You'll be needing a fine gown fit for the event," Narcissa clapped her hands together happily and took stock of Jenelle's body like she was a pumpkin at the state fair. Jenelle recoiled and covered herself with her hands.

"What's wrong with the dress I wore to the other party?" she asked, knowing full well that the green smock was torn and dirtied beyond repair.

"No no no, this needs to be dazzling. And you have such a body! You must show it off! How else will you attract suitors?"

"I feel like I've just fallen into a Jane Austen novel," Jenelle mumbled as Narcissa continued to run her hands over the tall girl's body, taking mental measurements no doubt.

Jenelle felt her cheeks grow hot and quickly pushed Narcissa's hands away.

"No matter, it may be in a few days but my mother will have us a spectacular ensemble in no time!"

"What? No, Cissy, I can't afford something like that-"

"Nonsense, this is a gift. You're representing my house after all, and we are nothing if not charitable in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black." The girl fluttered her eyelashes and walked to her writing desk, pulling out parchment and quill to begin composing her scheme.

Jenelle took that moment to gather her belongings and make a beeline for the showers. Once she was settled in the stall with the steaming water washing over her she collected her thoughts and smiled.

A ball? This will be interesting, just what I need to get back into the swing of things. I can't wait to tell Sarah.