A/N: Okay no excuses this time. It just me a long time to type this up. It's been a crazy year. I've been so wrapped up with Avater: The legend of Korra that it's hard to sit down and type anything. But I'm back and ready to roll. I hope you like it.

Chapter 35

EPOV

All I remembered thinking before I pulled her to me and crushing her mouth with mine was, 'Don't kiss her Edward', over and over again. But instead of actually listening to myself, I ignored every thought and did it blindly. I say blindly because I had no idea what would happen once our kiss was over and I was hoping that it never ended. I was never the spontaneous type, always having a well thought out plan and then a backup just in case.

I was very pleased when she responded to me, opening herself up. I didn't hesitate to move in not waiting for her to come to her senses.

Kissing Bella, really kissing her was more than I had ever imagined. It felt almost magical, if I dared say the word, like everything had suddenly fallen into place. Odd thing was I had always thought that I had my life in perfect order because I hadn't built a multi-million dollar company by the time I was twenty four by seeing imperfections and not fixing them.

I both blamed and thanked Bella for this new found knack of dropping into unforeseen dark and mucky waters. It was almost as if she was a missing part to the puzzle. And I was a puzzle to some. Not many people outside my family and close, very close friends understood me. But yet somehow Bella had waltzed right into my life by complete accident, though I was seriously under the impress that it wasn't as much of an accident as a planned meeting by my older sister. Still, Bella got me, from the very beginning. At work, we were a team, thinking the same thoughts; she even understood what my quirky jesters meant. My own mother was still having a problem figuring them out. She was not only a great assistant, but an irreplaceable friend, enchanting without the littlest idea that she had the power to move mountains. However it didn't take me long to figure out that I didn't just want to be her friend. No, I wanted to be far more important.

But I had been petrified; I had never felt so strongly about anything in my life. That was what scared me so much, that someone, that I could love someone so intensely almost as if my very life depended on her. She was totally consuming, so much so I wasn't sure to this day how I got any work done when Bella was always on my mine. I wanted to be her everything, just as she had become the reason I existed.

I could hardly control myself as I slowly pulled way completely breathless but it wasn't oxygen I craved even though my lungs where burning inside my chest. I was very pleased by her reaction to me but for a moment I thought she was going to push me off her in disgust which would then entail a huge hit to my ego. But instead she melted into my arms almost as if that was where she had been craving to be this entire time. I smiled at that thought. I had wanted that moment to last forever but I should have known that Alice wouldn't miss an opportunity like this. It was more than obvious as she approached us that she witnessed our kiss.

I watched, my heart still pounding in my chest as she tackled Bella, who was a little startled but smiling. I was hoping that I had a little something to do with that. Then she jumped into me, not an easy task as I was almost a full head and a half taller than she was. My eyes met Jaspers apologetic gaze, like he had anything to do with the way my sister was born.

"Edward, Happy New Year's" I remembered Alice yelling over the loud screams and bursting fireworks that lit up the New York sky.

"Happy New Years, Alice! And don't worry; you don't have to say anything. It was just a kiss," I stated hoping to save Bella from my sister by stating the obvious before Alice could play into it too much.

"What kiss?" I remembered thinking that the confusion on her face looked genuine before she asked. "What are you talking about?"

Could she really not have witness our kiss or was Alice's acting improving?

"So you really didn't see anything?" Alice stared up at me like I was going crazy myself. She finally shook her head.

"No, I just came to give Bella her coat. Bella?" It was then I noticed that the warmth next to me had disappeared. It didn't take long to spot her leaning over the bar.

I felt my heart stop, before I was pushing through the thickened crowd to her. From what I could tell she didn't look like she felt okay, too pale for comfort. Before I knew it I was pulling out the stuffy building.

BPOV

"Edward, wait!" I called as he steered me out of the building. It was far colder down here than it was on the roof and I gasped when the cold chill hit me. But I hardly noticed. Everything was a blur. It was hard to concentrate with all the alcohol flooding my brain but I was beginning to believe that swirl my head was causing had nothing to do with the liquor. How I was still standing on two feet was nothing short of a miracle.

He stopped and turned to me. For a moment when or eyes met I forgot why I had called out to him in the first place. As if reading my mind he smiled and held up my clutch and navy pea coat.

"Looking for this?" It surprised me. Where did he get that from? Was that what he'd gone to get? I hadn't noticed them.

I nodded and took the coat from him first. He helped me button up as if he didn't trust me enough to do it right.

"How?" I asked as he buttoned the last button. "I figured you'd need it. Alice was coming to give it you." I shuffled through the small purse making sure I had my keys and phone. Everything seemed to be there even my debit card and driver's license. The purse couldn't hold anything else.

I took a deep breath and thanked him.

"You're welcome. Now let's get you home." He took my hand ever so carefully and prepared to call a cab. I didn't move when he pulled which made him turn back to me. Maybe that was what I wanted, for him to not to take his eyes off of me. Or maybe I just wanted more time like this. I didn't know, but the idea of watching his back didn't sit well with me. It made me feel like he was moving away from me. It was a stupid idea as it was freezing cold out here but I just didn't want to get in a car. If I did then I would have less time with Edward.

"Do you mind if we walk?" I felt my face grow hot but I didn't break our gaze. He seemed to be fighting reason, probably thinking that I'd freeze before we could walk the entire three blocks to my apartment.

"I promise I'll tell you when I get too cold." That seemed to help him make his mind up because he sighed.

"Promise?" he asked. I nodded. Still holding my hand we walked side by side toward what I wanted to believe was our future.

It was silent for the first five minutes, a good awkward silence that left my mind open and able to imagine anything it wanted. Edward still had my hand in his and I couldn't stop thinking about my sweaty palms. Edward didn't seem to mind, but that didn't make me feel any better. I tried to keep my breathing under control which was a task within itself. I was nervous and I couldn't understand where that courage I had had five minutes had gone. I let out a breath that was louder than I had wanted causing Edward to turn to me.

"Are you okay?" The heat of his breath could be seen in the cold air.

"I'm fine," I answered. He eyed me, one eyebrow arched.

"Really, I'm perfect," And it was true. I was perfect besides the fact that I felt like my heart was going to explode but other than that…

"I've been meaning to ask you," he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "…if you had fun tonight? I know those types of places aren't your thing."

"Usually not, but I have to admit that tonight has been a wild ride."

"A good ride, I hope," he smiled leading me around a street vent.

My face heated, but I was already red so it didn't matter.

"Definitely good,"

"Are you sure you're not cold, I could call a ca…"

"I'm fine, really! I didn't know you were such a worry wart," I chuckled.

"Usually I'm not." He uttered and for some reason I felt like his statement had a second meaning. I wanted to ask him, why was he worried now but abruptly I felt my phone ring. Just by the ring I could tell who it was. I contemplated whether I should answer it.

"If you don't, she'll just keep calling," Edward stated. I looked over at him surprised. "How do you do that?" I finally asked. I wanted to know how he always seemed to know what I thinking.

He grinned and shrugged casually. "I'm good at reading people."

I frowned. I didn't like that fact that he could read me. If that was the case then he could see how nervous I was right now.

Edward laughed. "Don't worry. You're not as easy as you think to read. It took me quite some time to understand you."

"You understand me?" I was shocked. All my life people had told me that I was so hard to understand, that I was almost too indifferent. And here Edward was reading me like an open book. I heard my phone ring again.

"You'd better get that, or my phone is next in line." He laughed. He let my hand go for the first time since we'd left Wonderland, and I immediately miss it, the warmth and the electricity. I pulled my phone from my clutch and put it to my ear.

"Alice?" I answered.

"Bella, where are you? You disappeared. Are you okay?" Alice sounded genuinely anxious.

"Yes, I'm fine." I felt her sigh, relieved. Then I began to feel apologetic for leaving. I mean I had come to support her, not run off with her brother in the middle of the night.

"I'm sorry I left, it's just-"I didn't get to finish my thought because Alice cut me off.

"Are you with Edward?" I eyed Edward and answered.

"Yes. He's taking me home." Suddenly her tone turned bright and cheery.

"Okay, just checking. Have fun and be safe!"

Click.

I stared at the mobile phone as if it had just grown two heads. What was that? That may have been the first conversation that I'd had with Alice that was less than thirty seconds. I was half expecting her to yell at me for leaving her event but she hadn't even mentioned it.

"Don't waste your time trying to understand that one." Edward advised as we started to walk again, silent for about a minute.

"Bella," His voice cut through my thoughts.

"Yes," I answered too hastily. I kicked myself mentally. I had to get myself under control.

"Are you hungry?" He asked with a grin. For a moment I was stalled, unable to process anything but the utter beauty that was the man next to me. I blinked as I registered his random question.

"I could eat." I grinned.

Edward's smiled brightened. He took my hand and pulled me across the street.

*Later*

We were laughing as we climbed the stairs to my apartment.

"Yeah well luckily I was able to take another picture after Carilse talked to the principal." He'd been telling about the time that Alice had added green hair color to his shampoo that day of his school pictures in Jr. High.

"I can't believe that she did that," I laughed.

"I got her back though," he added as we came to my door.

"I added vanilla extract to a cake that Esme had made for her graduation." I gasped. If there was one thing I knew about Alice was that she very sensitive to vanilla. It had the tendency to make her face swell. Luckily it was nothing life threatening.

"That was mean," He shrugged with a grin. I chuckled, and then held my stomach.

"I can't believe I ate so much. I seriously need to start on a diet." I joked.

"No you don't. You are perfect." He voiced. "Just the way you are." My cheeks heated and my heart couldn't help but skip. I suddenly wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. He was so close now that it wouldn't be hard. Edward was absolutely intoxicating. No he was totally irresistible.

"Well thank you for walking me home." I gazed up at him through my eyelashes.

"Of course, any time Bella." He smiled. I could feel it. The tension. I wanted to kiss him so badly that is hurt, and I could tell he wanted to do the same. He began to lean in slowly and for a moment I wanted to jump into him but I stopped myself, not wanting to mess this up. This time I would be fully aware of this kiss, no more accidents or surprises. I'd had enough. This would be our kiss in which we both acknowledged the other. The sound of my heart beating in my chest was almost so loud that I didn't hear the low buzz of a phone. I wondered if I should invite him in after. I mean was that appropriate? We moved so slowly, so carefully and I closed my eyes right before our lips would touch. I stayed like that for a moment, yearning for his lips but when they never came I slowly opened my eyes.

Edward was staring at his phone.

"I'm sorry Bella. I've got to go."

"Uh, okay. Is everyth-"But he was skipping down the stairs before I could get my words out. Fear struck me hard in the face. Had he come to his senses? Who was that on the other end of that text? I could m y heart sink and turned to enter my apartment….alone.

It was past three when I heard a knock on my door. I sighed before pushed the blanket off of me, placed the glass of wine down and stumbled to the door. I swung it open and Alice rushed in.

"Where is he?"

"Who?" I asked as I closed the door behind her.

"Edward, I know he's here." She grinned. I sighed and shook my head. I could feel the stabbing pain in my chest arise.

"He's not here." I stated dryly and returned to my spot on the couch, wine glass to my lips.

"What do you mean he's not here? Didn't you say that he was walking you home? "She arched an eye brow. "Did you lie to me?"

"Oh he walked him home alright," I muttered falling back into the couch. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open.

"But…" Alice sunk into the seat next to me.

"He left."

"Left? What do you mean? I thou-"

"He left Alice! That's what that means. Geez," I jumped up.

"Okay, did he at least give you a good night kiss," she nudged my leg.

Suddenly I felt like crying but instead shook my head.

"That bastard! I'm going to kill him." She snarled through her teeth. She got to her feet and began to pace in front of the window. I fell back with a thud.

"After all my planning- I'm going to kill him." Honestly I'd never seen Alice like this. She began to mumbling to herself but I swore I heard, "After all I did."

"Hey," I got to my feet and touched her shoulder. "It's okay," I said it even if it wasn't true. She spun around her face red with anger.

"No Bella, this is not okay. You and Edward belong together. How long, how many signs do you two need?" I stared at her confused.

"Signs? Alice I don't understand."

Alice breathed. "From the moment I met you Bella I knew that you were going to be a part of my family. I knew that from the very moment you ruined my favorite dress that you and Edward were destined to be together." I stared as her bewildered, trying to keep up.

"Alice…"

"I don't know what my idiot of a brother is doing but tonight is the night Bella." She grabbed me by the shoulders; she gripped me so hard I could feel her nails in my skin.

"You have to go after him." Alice was, for the first time that I had known her, desperate. I had never seen her like this. As if my very life depended on going after Edward.

I stared at her in disbelief. "You have to go after him now!" I was trying to wrap my brain around her words.

Go after him? Why? Wasn't he the one who had run off like someone had lit the shoes on his feet on fire? Why should I? It was obvious that he had more important things to do. I know that I was just hurt and angry, but it made me feel a little better when I was angry at him for leaving my standing there.

"Bella." Alice shook me back to reality. I focused back on the tiny girl in front of me.

"I can't," I pulled away turning my back to her, my hand gripping the spot over my heart that hurt so much. It wasn't a physical pain, but this was much worst.

"Of course you can. Just go, tell him that you love him."

"Why?" I snapped around. I wasn't gong to deny that I loved him. "Why should I? It's not like it could work out for us. He's my boss, Alice. I'm his employee. Nothing more. " The hurt and pain was taking over. Doubt replaced the confidence that I had found recently.

"You are more of an idiot than I thought. Both of us know that is a lie. Deny it all you want but you love my brother and he loves you. All the other crap does not matter."

My heart froze. Did Edward love me? More importantly, could he? I was plain, ordinary. Nothing special. He didn't need someone so dim standing next to him. Someone like Kate was a much better fit. She could stand next to him without getting swallowed whole, me on the other hand. Well there wasn't much of a comparison.

"Alice I just don't belong next to him," I stated, a single tear falling down my cheek.

"Oh give it up. You are beautiful, smart and an amazing person Bella. Has he made you feel anything less? Why do you doubt yourself so much?"

She was right. Edward had never not once ever made me feel as if I was inferior to him in any way. In fact he always told me how amazing I was. Is that how he saw me? Was I smart, amazing and beautiful to Edward?

Beautiful. I remembered him telling me so on several occasion but I had always believed it was because of Alice's magic.

"You have to go." Alice's voice cut though my thoughts. "You have to go tonight. He's leaving Bella." She stopped momentarily.

Leaving? What did she mean? Leaving to go where?

"In the morning he's going to Tokyo for who knows how long."

"Tokyo?" How was it I didn't know about this? Was the merger in Japan doing so poorly? I thought was taken care of. I shook my head mentally. He was leaving. Edward was leaving and I would not see him for a while. I didn't like that. I didn't want him to go but most of all I didn't want to wait. I wanted him now.

Alice crossed the small space between us and touched my arm.

"Do you understand now why it has to be tonight? You may not get another chance for a long time." I met her gaze.

"You have to go now Bella!" Something snapped then. I wasn't sure of exactly what it was, but my feet began to move. Everything moved slowly, as if I was trapped in time. I wasn't sure of what propelled me forward, maybe it was the alcohol clouding my bruised judgment or the fact that I loved Edward beyond reason and that was good enough for me. Honestly I didn't want to chase him but I knew that I had to. I had to go after him because we had unfinished business.

I hope it was well worth the wait. Please review and let me hear some of your thoughts. Thanks for sticking with me. - Baby