Episode 34—The Blair Witch Incident
In October of 1994, three student filmmakers
disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville,
Maryland while shooting a documentary.
A year later their footage was found...
Okay, well not really. This isn't about them at all.
In fact, the real intro to this story goes like this:
In June of 2012, four horror movie slashers/idiots
almost killed themselves in the woods near Burkittsville,
Maryland while sticking their noses where they didn't belong...
As usual.
A few weeks later I wrote this episode of Scream For Me...
"All these fucking vacations that you make us take are gay."
"Shut your mouth, Fuckface. Myers needs to work hard to concentrate."
From his spot behind the wheel of the Winnebago, Michael glared at Freddy and thought irritably, I am a good driver! I've had lessons!
Please, Jason thought, that's like me saying that I'm a good driver because I've seen people jack cars and try to drive away from me; it's not a good excuse!
It's not meant to be an excuse, idiot, Michael thought, it's a preposition. Jesus, you're stupid.
Of course, Michael. It's a preposition, alright. I'm the stupid one.
I just said that, idiot!
Jason rolled his eyes. Well if you wanna get technical about it, we don't speak. We think.
"Okay, okay, ladies!" Freddy exclaimed. "We all get that you two have a thing for each other, so just shut your mouths!"
"How about we turn on the radio?" Ghostface suggested. Freddy nodded, eager to make Michael and Jason shut up.
"Yeah, good idea for once, Fuckingidiotface."
"Was that really called for?" he asked as he switched on the radio and turned up the volume.
Freddy nodded. "Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure that it was." Then the song Bad Romance began playing. Freddy groaned and covered his hears. "Son of a bitch!" he tried to switch it off, but Ghostface slapped his hand away from it.
"No way, I love this song!"
Jason thought moodily, Fine, we'll listen to it, just don't start singing along to i-
"Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la! Want your bad romance!"
Michael, who had really been trying to focus his small attention span on the road, ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated way. Make him shut up! I can't concentrate on concentrating!
Yeah, shut the damn thing off!
"Shut up, Voorhees! Nobody asked you!" Freddy howled as he stabbed Ghostface in the throat with his claws. The slasher gagged and became abruptly silent. "See? Now that's how you shut a bitch up."
Jason stared at him for a long moment before shaking his head and thinking, Kruger, just what in the hell is the matter with you, anyway?
He shrugged as he switched the radio station. "I dunno. I guess I just...oh no!" he exclaimed as a Jimi Hendrix guitar solo began playing. Ghostface managed to weakly gasp and pull Freddy's claws out of his throat.
I can't concentrate! Michael thought warningly as the Winnebago swerved dangerously off the road. Freddy hurriedly changed it to yet another station, much to Ghostface's dismay.
"Respect the classics, man! It's Hendrix!"
"Ah, go take a fucking shower, you hippie bitch." Freddy commented as he sighed and reclined back in his seat next to Michael. The seat fell back on Jason, who logically should have been sitting in the front, because he was the tallest. But do we use sense in Scream For Me? No we don't! Because I'm just too bad ass to use any sense.
Anyway, Jason glared down at Freddy and unsheathed his machete. Move your chair back up before I get pissed.
"Oh yeah, and threatening somebody with a machete doesn't count as being pissed, does it?"
You've got five seconds.
Freddy glared at him. "Fuck you, bitch."
Five, four, three, two, one! Jason thought quickly. Before Freddy could even react to this, he had a machete sticking out his stomach. He narrowed his eyes at Jason.
"Now you have to get it back."
Ghostface, who was sitting to Jason's left in the back seat, groaned in exasperation. "Just give him back the machete and move your seat before Michael loses his concentration and we all die."
"Oh, but didn't you know? I love laying in Voorhees' lap." Freddy said sarcastically as he reached for the button on his seat that would adjust it. He found it and shot back up into his sitting position, his arms crossed. "This is gay. Louisiana is boring!"
"Are you even sure we've gotten there yet?" Ghostface inquired as he dug for the map amongst the trash that littered the floor of the van. Jason found it and peered at it. Under his mask he frowned.
It says that we're in...well that can't be right, can it?
Michael tried to look at the map in the rear view mirror. Why? What does it say?
It says that we're in Burkittsville, Maryland.
Ghostface groaned. "Maryland? Seriously? How the hell did that happen?"
"Because you were supposed to be watching the map, so shut the fuck up, bitch." Freddy commented as he put his feet up on the dashboard and yawned. "Damn, I'm tired. When do we get a hote-"
Suddenly the Winnebago let out a lurch and a huge crashing sound could be heard as the van collided into the side of a hotel. Michael, who was still gripping the steering wheel, thought cheerfully, We're here!
"Nice driving, idiot!" Ghostface said as he opened up his door and tried to climb out. Jason stopped him.
Yeah, amazingly I don't think that we'll be staying here tonight.
Michael became sulky. But that wall just came up out of nowhere.
Freddy sighed. "Yeah, we're screwed."
In an instant the hotel manager had climbed over the hood of the Winnebago. He stared at the van with wide eyes. "My...my hotel!"
"Yeah, yeah, sorry about that, man." Ghostface said as he want over and shook the poor guy's hand. He yelled over at Jason, "Hey, Hockeypuck, bring me that video camera that's in the back of the van!"
Jason brought it over, looking suspicious. Why in the hell would we need a video camera for a vacation?
"Well why do you gotta be so stupid?"
Yeah, I'm sorry, I just have to ask, but did you REALLY just ask why I 'gotta' be so stupid?
Ghostface nodded. "Yeah, so?"
He shrugged as he dug a beat-up video camera out of the trash on the floor. Nothing, I just wanted to clarify.
What does clarify mean? Michael wondered as he scratched his head. Freddy slapped him on his shoulder and shook his head.
"Kid, if you don't know the meaning of a simple word like that by now, then you might as well just write yourself out of this fucking series."
Michael arched a brow. What 'series'?
He sighed. "If you haven't figured it out by now, you'll never know." and he to climbed out of the van and stretched. "Okay, so we're obviously not staying—Fuckface, get that damn camera out of my face!" Ghostface was aiming the camera less than an inch away from the other killer's face. He backed away as Freddy brandished his razored glove at him. Instead of focusing it on Freddy and the hotel manager as they bickered, he went over and focused in on Michael's ass.
Of course Michael noticed this, ran, and hid behind Jason for protection from Ghostface's prying camera. The taller killer gave him a confused look. Myers, what the hell is wrong with you?
Ghostface is filming my ass!
Jason snapped then. He went over, yanked Freddy back into the van by the neck of his sweater, then thought angrily, Okay, this is it! Ghostface, turn off the camera and get back in the van; Michael, you're not driving anymore, so sit next to me in the front. We're leaving.
Michael gratefully climbed into the passenger's side and slammed the door. After making sure that Freddy and Ghostface were properly secured in their seats, Jason took his position in the driver's seat. He hastily backed the car out of the rubble of the hotel and proceeded to fly down the road. Here's what we're not gonna do, Jason thought once he'd managed to regain his composure, we're NOT going to fuck up this vacation; we're NOT going to videotape Michael's ass at any time; we're N-
"The shower is fair game!" Ghostface protested. Michael let out a little squeak of disapproval, but said nothing, knowing that his argument wouldn't be heard by the pervert anyway.
Jason had to be the one to think in a threatening sort of way, Okay, let me put this in the simplest way possible; Ghostface, if you even look at Myers wrong, I'll personally shove that camera up your scrawny little ass and-
"Ooohh," he purred, "kinky..."
And we'll abandon you in the woods, do you understand me?
"Whatever," he grumbled, adjusting the video camera, "but I still get to record everything else."
"Fuck no!" Freddy argued.
"Why not?"
"Because it's fucking annoying!"
Okay, Ghostface, fine, you can be in charge of documenting the vacation, but when any one of us says to turn the camera off, you do it, understand? Jason asked as he calmly drove down the road. In the seat next to him, Michael relaxed a little.
They all agreed that these rules were best and continued driving until they hit the heart of the small town. Once there, Ghostface insisted that he had to take a bathroom break, so all of the slashers got out of the car and found a little store to take a rest at. After he'd taken his leak, Ghostface retrieved his camera and proceeded to walk up and down the main streets in the town, documenting their boring adventure. "See, look how interesting this place is—wow." he said to himself and the camera, "How fascinating this shit-hole town is..."
That was when an old man stopped him. "Excuse me, but why do you have that camera?"
"Documenting." he answered, zooming the camera in on the old guy.
This made the old man become almost panicked. "About what? The Blair Witch?"
Ghostface snickered. "The what?"
The local proceeded to weave a fantastic tale of murder and witchcraft into the stupid killer's brain. Apparently, the woods around the town were said to be haunted by the ghost of an old witch; countless children had been taken and slaughtered as well, which only made the forest seem that much more ominous. Ghostface perked up at this local myth. He asked the old man, "Okay, so you're telling me that somewhere in those woods there's a ghost?"
"Some say so, yes." he answered.
"And that anyone who goes in there sees her?"
"Most people."
"Ohh...interesting." he said, smiling under his mask. Maybe this vacation wouldn't be so boring after all.
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Ghostface wandered the town going from person to person asking if they'd ever heard about the Blair Witch; he got lots of information about the legend. Meanwhile Freddy, Jason, and Michael were still figuring out what to do about their current sleeping situation—or lack thereof. Well, to be perfectly honest, mostly it was Jason who was doing the figuring, since he was the only one in the group with half a brain. He added up what little emergency money they'd brought along and calculated that they had a grand total of five dollars and eleven cents. He pulled Freddy aside to tell him the grim news.
Kruger, listen, I've been thinking and there's no way that we're going to have enough to get a room for a night.
"So where the fuck does that leave us?"
Jason glanced over at the Winnebago. How do you feel about a little camp out?
Although Freddy raised hell about having to sleep outside, he figured that it beat not having any sleep whatsoever, so the two unanimously decided the fate of the group. Once that was done, Jason found Michael and they eventually managed to track down Ghostface, who was surprisingly avid about sleeping in the woods. "Think about it, we wouldn't get bothered, and there's no way that Myers could mess anything up!" he insisted.
Michael thought angrily, Hey! I do not mess things up!
Jason considered this. The woods? Well...that could work. Sure, why not?
After agreeing to Ghostface's idea of camping out in the desolate woods, it was up to Jason to devise the best means of keeping the group alive thru the night—a tougher task than it sounds. He found the old, stained map that they kept on the floor of the car, plotted out routes, rivers, and stuff like that, and while he was at it, he also wrote out a sheet of rules that every slasher was to follow. Just before they set off he passed out the written rules to everyone.
Freddy scowled at the list. "What the fuck? Do you think that we're idiots?"
Jason gave him a condescending look. Aw, no, absolutely not.
Michael glared at the bigger killer. Why is my name on here so much?
Because you always do stupid stuff. He explained coolly. Ghostface threw the rule sheet right back at him.
"I do what I want!"
Are you kidding me? Jason wondered, picking up the paper, It's not like I'm asking you to do anything hard or mentally challenging! Here-
RULES FOR STAYING ALIVE IN THE WOODS:
1)Michael Myers is never to be left unattended
2)In the event that Michael Myers is left unattended, we all leave the area immediately,
let him kill who he wants, and never speak of the incident again
3)Ghostface is not allowed within a 4-foot radius of Michael Myers
4)Freddy won't bitch about sleeping arrangements
5)Ghostface won't bitch about the lack of electricity/water/t.v.
6)Nobody can go off into the woods alone
7)Don't be stupid
Once Jason was done reading the list silently, Michael thought in desperation, This is impossible! I can't possibly do number seven!
"Yeah, and who says where I can and can't stay?" Ghostface asked, inching nearer Michael and switching on his video camera.
"Fuck this! I wanna go home!" Freddy cried out angrily. Jason glared at all of them like they were children and crossed his arms over his chest.
Well too bad, we can't go home! We're stuck in the woods for the night, and that's just the way it is, so either follow the rules or I'll leave you behind. He turned, climbed behind the wheel of the Winnebago, and waited for the others to get inside. Of course everyone resentfully did and soon they were off without a whim or a prayer to the heart of the woods to spend the night.
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As it turned out, the woods were much thicker than any of them had expected. Jason had to end up parking the Winnebago on the side of the road and getting out the essentials. Of course they hadn't planned on camping out, so they really didn't have any useful resources—a half eaten bag of puffy Cheetos, a little baggie of cool ranch Doritios, two cans of diet Dr. Pepper, one opened and flat can of Sprite, two thin blankets, and a crinkled old map that was probably incorrect. By four o'clock that night they'd ended up eating the remainder of the Cheetos and one can of Dr. Pepper along with the rest of the Sprite was gone. They were also following a map that had chunks torn out of it. Eventually Jason had to force the group to stop in the middle of a clearing.
Okay guys, now don't freak out, but we might be a little lost.
"Oh my God, I'm going to die! Dear God, no!" Ghostface cried, staggering over to a confused-looking Michael, "Myers, hold me." he dramatically fell against the other killer and hugged him. Jason glared at him.
Get off of him and stop it.
Jason, are we really going to die? Michael thought, his eyes growing wide with fear. The other killer shook his head.
Of course not, he thought, taking a seat on the ground, we're just going to take a break and—oh, what am I sitting on? Ow... he moved over and discovered a perfect pile of rocks under him. His eyes ventured over a few feet away, and there stood another pile of rocks. And another, then another. Michael sat down next to him.
What are those?
They look like...graves? He shrugged. I have no clue...
"Graves?" Freddy repeated, laughing manically. "In that case—HA!" he began kicking the piles of rocks over and stomping on them. Ghostface joined in. Jason's eyes grew wide.
No, stop! Quit it! He jumped to his feet, hurried over and began piling the rocks back up. You don't know what they're for!
"So? Who gives a fuck?" Freddy inquired, tipping up his hat and smiling. "If they were so important, then why would they be out here in the middle of fucking nowhere?"
Michael heard a sound somewhere off in the forest and he jumped. This...this isn't good...Jason, get us out of here.
Okay, okay. Jason responded silently, going over and retrieving the map. He glanced it over. Honestly he had no clue where they were or what was going on. All he knew was that it was almost night, there were these weird piles of rocks, and everyone was growing anxious. Wasn't he the smart one of the group? Wasn't it he who was always able to figure things out? This...this is nothing, he thought to himself, studying the map. I can handle this. The more he panicked, the more the map seemed like useless gibberish. They were off any trails and clearly something odd was going on with the rocks. He had to do something...everyone was staring expectantly at him. At last he thought, pointing in some random direction, This way.
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When the sun set that night, they found themselves attempting pitifully to make a camp. "I'm hungry." Ghostface whined, tugging on Jason's jacket as the killer tried to make Michael a comfortable sleeping place. Jason turned his attention to him.
Okay, so who was the one who ate all the Cheetos earlier today?
"Oh, do not be that guy right now."
I'm going to be that guy. He roughly pushed Ghostface away from him and thought, If you're hungry, you're just going to have to wait until we get back to the car tomorrow. I think we left a Ding Dong or two in there, even though they're probably melted. Then he turned to Freddy and asked tiredly, Well, what do you want to complain about?
"Fuckface ate everything! We only have one coke left!" he said, glaring at Ghostface.
I'm hungry, too. Michael thought.
"Shut it, Myers! It's all your fault we're here anyway!"
"Don't talk to him like that! It's not his fault he's a complete idiot!" Ghostface protested.
Everyone began arguing at once, and Jason tried to intervene, but found that nobody was listening to him now. He just sat down on a pile of leaves he'd made and let the fights run their course. It was then, at the height of the shouting and name-calling, that the horrible screaming of a baby could be heard. Everyone shut up; Ghostface raced to dig his camera out of the sleeves of his shirt. He switched it on. He'd been recording all day. He'd even managed to get a few good shots of the strange, ritualistic rock piles from earlier. Now he swung his camera wildly around, looking for the source of the howling. Michael, who had become absolutely terrified once the sun had slipped below the horizon, inched closer to Jason, who seemed to be the only one out of all of them who could provide some kind of protection.
Wh-What was that? He thought, his black eyes scanning the surrounding woods.
Ghostface just backed up against a tree and called out into the night, "H-Hello? Anyone there?"
Stranger sounds met their ears, then; it was the sound of branches breaking, and it wasn't coming from one particular place. It was coming from all around them. Freddy jumped and whirled around. "What the hell is going on here?"
Ghostface began to walk away from the campsite in search of the sounds, but Jason hurried after him and hauled him back. "What the fuck? I want to see what's wrong! It sounded like a kid or a baby or something!"
I don't think there's anyone out here but us. Jason thought, We didn't tell anyone we'd be out here, and I'm sure that parents wouldn't let their kids wander around in the woods at night like this.
"Then how the fuck do you explain the sounds?" Freddy demanded.
Just as Jason prepared to respond, a sick cackling could be heard. Everyone scrambled back into the small campsite that they'd made and became utterly silent. Needless to say, it was a long night.
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The next morning Jason woke up first. He was surprised to find that Michael was huddling up next to him, clinging to him desperately. He rolled his eyes and pushed him away before rising to his feet and looking around. In the daylight, the woods seemed just as peaceful as ever. Had he imagined the events of last night? Well, whatever had happened it was over now. They'd had their little 'vacation', it had gone a muck like always, and now it was time to go back to the Winnebago. He searched his pockets for the map only to find nothing there. He looked all over the ground and the campsite. The only thing that he could discover were more piles of rocks. This time, there were four little mountains, all an equal distance away from each other. He didn't feel like waiting anymore. Something strange was happening, and he wanted to get the hell out of here.
Alright, rise and shine. He thought as he unceremoniously kicked Michael in the stomach. The others he roughly shook awake.
Ow...what's wrong? Michael thought, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Pack up, we're leaving.
But-
Now. He turned and began to gather up the blankets. Freddy sat up and adjusted his hat. He noticed Jason's odd behavior and reached over to one of the piles of rocks; he threw it at the hulking killer. Jason barley flinched. He just continued to clean up.
"Alright, what the fuck is going on? Why are we leaving so soon? We have all day to get back to the car, right?"
I just want to leave now, alright? Jason thought snappishly, hauling Michael to his feet. He pushed him over to a little stream and ordered, Go get cleaned up.
But-
Just do it.
Michael sulked over to the stream and lifted up his mask; he proceeded to wash his face, thinking dejectedly, Quit telling me what to do.
Jason turned to the others and then instructed, Get up and start getting your stuff together. We've got to leave.
Surprisingly, Ghostface didn't argue with this. He yanked the blanket away from Freddy and folded it up. "Right, whatever gets us out of here sooner."
"What the hell is going on?" Freddy howled. When no answer came, he rushed over to Jason and pulled him off to the side away from the others, and hissed in his ear, "Okay, look Hockeypuck, I can get how you don't wanna make us panic and all, but what the fuck is happening?"
Jason seemed desperate. Look, can I tell you something without you letting Michael and Ghostface know?
"I don't give a fuck."
I lost the map.
"WHAT? YOU LOST THE FUCKING MAP? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Freddy howled, stabbing at Jason. "We're stuck out here in these weird, fucked-up woods with these rocks and shit and you lose the map?"
"Who lost the map?" Ghostface asked, joining in the conversation. Jason and Freddy ignored him and kept yelling at each other, so Ghostface shrugged and returned his attention to cleaning up the campsite. It was then that he noticed that Michael was no longer near the stream. "Uh...hey, guys, just thought that you should know that Myers isn't here anymore."
This got Jason's attention. He turned to the other slasher, his eyes wide. What the hell did you just say?
"Myers, we lost him. He's not here anymore."
No, no, no, NO, NONONONO! Jason thought, running over to the stream where Michael had been kneeling only minutes before. He pounded on the earth and thought angrily, How the hell could I let this happen? It was on the rules that I wrote! 'Michael Myers is never to be left unattended'!
"Jason, calm down. We'll find him." Ghostface said, switching on his camera and sticking it in a despairing Jason's face. Jason turned away from the camera and shook his head.
You idiot, we don't even know where we are! How are we supposed to find Michael?
"Who gives a fuck?" Freddy asked, snickering. "I mean, we're still alive, and he's probably dead by now, so we should just get going." he began to walk away, and Ghostface resentfully followed him.
"C'mon, Jason, we'll come back for him."
Jason stared out into the seemingly endless forest and stood up. No point. He thought, gathering up his things. They set off for the day, back in the direction they'd come.
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They spent hours walking until they came upon an odd site. The three killers stopped in their tracks; there, hanging in the trees above their heads, were sticks tied together in the shapes of people. Ghostface stared at them wondrously and reached up. He took one down and observed it carefully. "What the hell...what are these?"
Freddy said, staring at the little wooden figure, "Looks like some voodoo shit."
Jason thought nothing, just continued on. Since losing Michael, he'd been doing nothing but wallowing in a deep ocean of self-pity. In fact, he barley noticed the wooden figures above his head, and he certainly didn't tell Ghostface anything when he took one and put it in his sleeve. Instead he trudged along, thru the branches and leaves, feeling bad for himself. Freddy and Ghostface barley managed to keep up with his ruthless pace.
At last the time came to set up camp again. This time, however, the sounds grew closer. In the morning Jason woke up first like before and began cleaning up camp. His head was pounding, he was hungry, and tired from having to stop Ghostface and Freddy from killing each other. He retrieved Ghostface's camera and, just for the hell of it, began recording his own antics. While doing so, he tripped over a bunch of sticks tied together. He stood up, wandered over to the bundle, and untied it. Inside there was a bloody little bit of fabric. He swallowed and aimed the camera at the fabric as he unwrapped it. A few teeth were inside. He immediately dropped the sticks and began wiping his blood-stained fingers off on his jacket.
Oh hell...oh shit, shit, shit...can't let the others see this...they'll just start freaking out again, and we won't get anywhere. Jason thought as he tried to clean his hands. He felt someone's eyes on him, and he turned to find Ghostface staring at him oddly.
"Uh...hey, Jason. What're you up to?"
I—nothing.
He tried to hide the remaining blood on his hands, but Ghostface noticed it anyway. He reached forward, snatched one of Jason's hands, and asked cluelessly, "Why is there blood on your hands?"
I-I was...Jason's mind scrambled to make up a lie
"On your period?"
No!
"Then what?"
He shook his head and pushed Ghostface back in the direction of the camp. Just forget it. We've got to keep moving. He went over and kicked Freddy. Wake up, wake up, wake up! We've got to keep going if we're going to find Michael.
"Why the fuck do you care about him so much, anyway?" Freddy demanded. For some odd reason, this just hit the other slasher the wrong way. He'd spent the past few days listening to Freddy and Ghostface argue, and now when he'd given them a sensible instruction, they refused to listen? This was too much, even for him. Jason got out his machete.
So you want to just leave him? He pays part of the rent, Kruger!
"Yeah, so do you, but I'm about to leave your ass here, too!"
"You're the one who got us lost to begin with, all because you didn't want to admit that you didn't know what you were doing!" Ghostface interjected, snatching his camera away from Jason. They argued that whole day about what to do, and soon it was night all over again. Angry at having wasted a whole day, they lapsed into vengeful silence. That was, until a horrible yowling could be heard off in the distance. Jason stood up and took Ghostface's camera.
"Wait, where are you-"
It could be Michael!
"You idiot! Myers doesn't even talk, let alone scream!" Freddy retorted. Seeing that Jason wouldn't turn back, both he and Ghostface jumped to their feet and hurried after their only hope of protection. "Look, retard, I know that you're really gay for Myers, but we're not going out into a creepy-ass forest looking for him!"
I'm not gay! He thought back, uselessly aiming the camera up at the trees. Seeing that they weren't going to talk any sense into him, Ghostface and Freddy followed Jason all the way to an abandoned house. Like before, the human figures made out of sticks were hanging all around, but this still didn't deter Jason. He went into the house, thinking, Myers? Are you here?
"Look, obviously nobody's here, Hockeypuck." Freddy snapped, entering the house as well. He was dragging a terrified, sobbing Ghostface behind him as he did so. "This place is totally abando-"
Help me! Please...
They all grew quiet—aside from Ghostface's continuous crying. Jason pushed past all of the trash in the room and headed straight in the direction that the noise was coming from. He had a loose grip on Freddy's sweater, and pulled him along, too. Since Ghostface was shitting himself from being so scared, he didn't want to stay alone. Together the trio found themselves walking downstairs into the basement. Michael was standing there in the dark, empty basement, facing a corner. Jason passed Ghostface the camera, wandered over to Myers, put a hand on his shoulder and forced him to turn around.
It was then that Ghostface let out a loud scream and dropped the camera onto the filthy ground...
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"And that's why we don't bring cameras on vacation." Freddy concluded as he threw his stuff in the back of the Winnebago. The rest of the gang was also packing their stuff into the vehicle. Vacation was a big deal, after all, and this was sure to be a good one. The only issue that was being raised right now was the fact that Ghostface insisted upon bringing his camera along. He had listened to Freddy's made-up warning about how everything would fall apart if he did bring it, but he still stood in the dark parking lot looking confused.
"Okay, so why am I not allowed to bring the camera?" he asked, switching the video camera off and chucking it in the back seat. Jason caught it and shook his head.
Because it'll ruin the whole thing. Trust me. He took his seat in the back. Besides, you'd just spend your time documenting Michael's ass.
"What's wrong with that?"
"I just explained it to you!" Freddy exclaimed irritably. "If you bring a camera, then Michael crashes into the hotel, we have to sleep in a haunted forest, and then we all die. There you go, now leave it home."
"But you just made all that stuff up!"
Just don't do it. Jason insisted.
Ghostface glanced down at the camera then to the guys. "Fine," he agreed at last, "no filming, but I don't feel like going all the way back up the room to put it back, so here-" he threw the thing onto the floor of the vehicle, "-I won't even use it."
Michael let out a sigh of relief. Thank God, now I don't have to be afraid of someone filming me all the time.
Let's just go. Jason said, closing the door once Ghostface had climbed into the back seat next to him. Michael backed the car out of the parking lot. It was early, around five in the morning, and it was the start of a beautiful vacation...
...or was it?
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**A/N**
Okay, I've been promising and promising an update and here it is. The next one will be better; I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things. Lately I've been writing a lot of other things from Dragonball Z to Metalocalypse, and I just decided last night that I'd take a trip back here, to my roots. Hope you enjoyed this episode. There is more to come. One reason that this episode was delayed so badly was because I felt obligated to watch the movie The Blair Witch Project, and I've just recently done so. Yes, that's how it ended. If it doesn't make much sense, don't complain to me, that's just how it is. I didn't really enjoy the movie all that much. I've seen better. Anyways, that's all for now. Thanks for reading, and remember that reviews are love.