Malorn sat on the edge of his chair, rubbing his sweaty palms together and looking like he was ready to bolt out the nearest door and into the forest outside. Elrond had wished for Thranduil and Legolas to be present during their discussions, believing it to be important that they understood Malorn's thinking since he was to return home with them in the spring. If anything were to trigger him to have another such emotional outburst, Elrond wanted Thranduil and Legolas both to be in tune with Malorn's thoughts so they could quickly and easily help him out of it again.

While Malorn was happy to have the help and support for his return home, he was also very nervous about revealing his most intimate thoughts to his uncle and cousin. Though he had not been part of their lives for long, Malorn already loved Thranduil and Legolas greatly and he still harbored fear that his troubled spirit would disgust them and drive them away. It was a rejection that Malorn knew he would be unable to take. However, Elrond had been steadfast in his belief that Thranduil and Legolas would be nothing short of supportive. Malorn trusted Elrond completely and so, though reluctant, he agreed to having his small family present.

"Now, Malorn", Elrond began gently. "What were the main feelings you had during the incident yesterday?"

"B…Betrayal", Malorn answered, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Loss, heartbreak, confusion and fear."

"Is that what you realize now that you felt or did you recognize all those emotions when you were in the moment?"

"It is what I realize now. In the moment, I only remember anger and fear."

"Anger toward whom and fear of what?"

"Anger toward Ascal, those who I thought were my friends but never hesitated to forget all I tried to be and distrust me immediately, and myself.", Malorn said. "Fear of what consequences would come of me losing my temper and hurting Ascal. Fear of losing everyone I have come to love so dearly because of a bad choice made in haste and anger."

"If you were to see Ascal and those students you were angry with again right now, do you still wish to act upon the anger?"

"No, I still feel a little bit of anger, but mostly I feel everything else now. It all mostly just mixes together and makes me feel sad."

"That is good. Being grieved over something going amiss is not wrong, but turning everything into anger and continuing to hold a grudge is unhealthy. Sorrow will heal given time, but anger festers and grows into bitterness and then finally hate. What about your time alone in the forest? What were you thinking about before we found you?"

Malorn swallowed and nervously cut his eyes to Thranduil and Legolas sitting nearby before he hesitantly answered. "A…All I could hear was Uncle Thranduil saying if I hurt you, he would hunt me down and there be no third chance. I realize now this was different, but at the time I was not thinking clearly and I saw everyone I love leave me all alone once again…like I thought I was when Ada died. I remembered being left alone after Nana's death, then again after Ada's. I thought I was about to be sentenced to be alone again and this time it would be for the rest my life."

"So, your experience that afternoon in training brought back all the memories of past heartbreak in your life and it mixed with the fear of what would be because you fought with Ascal. Did any of the good things that have happened, the love you have been shown, surface in your thoughts at all?"

Malorn shook his head.

"Did you try to think of them or was your heartbreak so great that you let your grief carry you where it pleased?"

"I…I did not try", Malorn admitted. "I just felt so overwhelmed by the feelings of anguish, anger, betrayal, loss, and fear. I felt like my mind was out of control and I could not take the control back."

"You have before had times of feeling similar confusion and fear after a trying day or unexpected nightmare and you have always known to come to me in those cases. Was it fear of my rejection that kept you from coming to me yesterday?"

Malorn looked like he was going to cry. After everything Elrond had done for him, he should have known the elf lord could have been trusted. But he realized it was that love and connection that had made him fear Elrond all the more. Seeing deep disappointment and indifference in the eyes of the elf that had been his guardian and teacher for nearly a year would have been far too much for him to bear. Slowly Malorn nodded, ashamed of his assumptions.

"Ah, so therein lies the lesson for next time, if there is one", Elrond said gently. "You allowed your fear to rule you and cloud your mind, blocking out memories of all the good things that have happened. That in turn only served to increase your feelings of loss and loneliness until you felt as though you had nothing and no one left. You have done well to control your anger. Your slip yesterday with Ascal was understandable, given the circumstances. Many would have reacted as you did and that means you have succeeded in taming your temper down to reasonable levels. We always have room to improve more on our reaction to situations, but your heart is no longer ruled by rage. You did not meditate on a wish to kill Ascal when you attacked him, correct?"

"Aye, I had no deliberate thought of wishing to kill him", Malorn agreed. "I just wanted the lies to stop and I wanted him to feel the hurt he had made me feel."

"Precisely", Elrond continued. "Thus, proving that the kind of anger you had in Mirkwood that drove you to try to kill Elrohir, me, and Legolas, is leaving your mind. You will continue to learn to dampen the remaining anger within you, but your vengeful rage is gone. Your work now needs to revolve around allowing yourself to trust in those who have promised to always be there for you. Committing ourselves to trust in others can be a very dangerous thing for our hearts, but it is also the quickest way to mend past hurts. For when you learn to realize that you can be forgiven by the people who love you and that they will not cast you away just because you slip, you will then conquer the fear and despair that keeps picking open the wounds of your heart and renewing old memories and despair. Do you understand, Penneth?"

"Aye, I think I do."

"Very good", Elrond said, coming and giving him a strong hug. "You are not failing, Malorn. In fact, you have made great, great strides in your healing. You have the courage and the knowledge about yourself that it takes to mend completely, now you just need the time to do it."

Malorn gave a tight smile but still turned apprehensive eyes to his Uncle and cousin who had remained silent through the exchange. "I am sorry I do not have the trust in you I should. I promise I will try to do better."

"No, Malorn, it is alright", Thranduil said, coming and giving Malorn a hug as well. "You have been hurt so much, even by me. I was less than kind to you when we first met, so the fact that you are a bit wary is understandable. I know I was harsh to you that day in the dungeon and I said things in my anger that I should not have. I want you to know now that you will always have my forgiveness, my understanding, and my love. It is not something you will ever lose because you make a mistake and I can say that with confidence because I know you will never do anything again like you did last year. You have moved so far past those feelings that they are not even a part of you anymore. You are my family, Malorn, wholly and completely and that will never change, no matter what."

Malorn swallowed hard past the growing lump in his throat, leaning forward to give his uncle another hug. "Thank you, Uncle. Thank you for accepting me, even broken as I am. Thank you for giving me a place to belong once again."

"You are welcome, my nephew. You will always belong with me no matter what. You will never have to be alone again."

Glorfindel's heavy riding boots thumped against the wooden floor of the armory as he strode purposefully toward his second-in-command's office that resided there. There was no light shining from under the closed door, but Glorfindel felt the trainer's presence inside; anguished and turmoiled. He stepped into the room to see his second slumped over his desk, head resting on folded arms and his shoulders giving a faint shake every few seconds. Glorfindel sighed, but knew this had to be done sooner or later so it might as well be sooner.

"Alwin", he said, trying to keep him voice firm but not harsh.

Alwin flinched but obediently raised his head, wiping quickly at the wet lines streaking his face. "Master Glorfindel, you have returned."

"Yes, I have", Glorfindel said, taking a seat across the desk. "I do not intend to drag this out, Alwin. I am aware of what happened yesterday. I would like to hear your story and your defense."

"I…I have no defense, Master", Alwin said softly. "I let my feelings guide my decisions without questioning if there was sound proof of my assumptions. I had seen what I believed to be disrespect toward Ascal on Malorn's part and I became defensive for Ascal. I let those feelings grow and I did not want to defend Malorn even when Ascal clearly cheated. So, I made an excuse and kept quiet. If I would have intervened sooner, Ascal might not have had the opportunity to say those things about Malorn. I thought you were treating Ascal unfairly because a new student who showed great promise and was also a prince of Mirkwood had come to join our training, but I see now that Ascal did harbor the feelings of jealousy you saw in him. I am sorry for doubting you, Master."

"What exactly happened to make you doubt my judgement, Alwin", Glorfindel asked. "I do not believe you would have done so without due cause for this has never been an issue with you before."

Alwin swallowed, realizing now, just how little he had to go on. "I…I saw what appeared to be Ascal trying to shake Malorn's hand in good sportsmanship, only for Malorn to scowl and pull away from him. I knew he was King Thranduil's nephew and so I…I just assumed he was being haughty and rude. I had known Ascal for so long and had seen him take so many students under his wing to help, that I just could not fathom him having such feelings of jealousy. I did not study his fëa closely enough to see the darkness that resided there."

"That you did not", Glorfindel agreed. "So you are aware, what you saw was Ascal trying to threaten Malorn into throwing the match so that Ascal would still appear to be the most skilled out of the two of them. I must say, I am disappointed in your actions, Alwin. You are still young, but you have made great strides and shown much maturity for your age. I thought you realized that personal feelings and favoritism cannot ever be allowed in a military atmosphere. Malorn is not my favorite by any means. Had he displayed the behavior Ascal did, he would have been given the same punishments that Ascal received."

"I realize that now", Alwin said hoarsely. "I am sorry I have disappointed you, Master."

"What is done is done", Glorfindel said. "You have redeemed yourself partially by showing such remorse for your actions and not trying to scrape up a defense for yourself when clearly there was none for what you did. I feel you truly have learned something from all this. However, there still must be consequences for your lack of good judgement. As I am sure you are aware already, you will not be promoted to head trainer over your own division for a while yet. I was also going to promote you to captain of a patrol and that too will be put on hold. You will not be demoted, however. You will remain as my second over our current division and continue to learn. Also, you are to give Malorn your most sincere apologies for your bad judgement, both in writing and to him directly in front of his fellow students. Do I make myself clear Alwin?"

"Yes, Master", Alwin said, shocked and humbled that his punishment was not worse. How he'd ever doubted Glorfindel was beyond his comprehension now.

"Good", Glorfindel said, standing. "I expect you to have your apologies prepared in time for Our next training session in two days. I leave you to it."

With that Glorfindel swept out the door to go find a certain student that was going to receive the tongue-lashing of a lifetime.

Elvish Terms:

Fëa – An elf's spirit

Penneth – Young one

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