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Chapter Thirty Six: You Look Like Rain

Your mind and your experience call to me

You have lived and your intelligence is sexy

I want to know what you got to say

I can tell you taste like the sky cause you look like rain

You look like rain

You think like a whip on a horse's back

Stretched out to the limit you make it crack

Send that horse round and round the track

I want to know what you got to say

I can tell you taste like the sky cause you look like rain

You look like rain

Yea you look like rain

You look like rain

-"You Look Like Rain" by Morphine


"C'mon, Bella…please…come to the party," Alice begged.

We'd been invited to a party at Ben's house and Angela had called to invite us. Jasper and Emmett had plans for the weekend and Rosalie was sick with a cold. Alice didn't want to go by herself and she'd been pestering me for several days about going.

"You haven't seen Ang or Ben or Jessica in forever."

I realized guiltily that I hadn't. I'd texted them or emailed occasionally, but it had been a really long time since we'd hung out.

"Alright," I reluctantly agreed. "I'll go."

"Yay! You'll have a great time…I promise."

I nodded absentmindedly at her and wondered if I should see if Claire wanted to come. I vaguely remembered her saying something earlier in the week about having plans on Saturday though, so I decided not to bother. Besides, it wouldn't hurt me to hang out with my old friends for a while. I really had been neglecting them. Alice and I got ready for the party together; she curled my hair and did my makeup and when I stepped back to look in the mirror before we left I was rather pleased. Tousled curls, defined eyes, rosy lips…I looked good. I turned around, checking out the jeans and boots she'd found in the back of my closet, and the black fitted top with the deep v neck that I'd only worn once before. Too bad there was no one to enjoy it. I sighed and slipped on the necklace from Edward before grabbing a small clutch purse to put my wallet and keys in.

I said hi to Angela and Ben when I got there, but they were quickly distracted by other guests. I glanced around. It was a nice little house, Ben had been living there with a couple of friends since the fall and for all practical purposes Angela was living there too. Her ultra-conservative father had no idea. She still technically had a dorm room that she lived in, but she was rarely there. I knew they were planning on getting married as soon as she graduated, and with the course load she was taking and the summer classes, it would be just two more years after this semester was over. It was strange to imagine any of my friends getting married, much less so young, but Angela and Ben had already been together for almost three years and they were one of the best couples I'd ever seen. If anyone could defy the odds and actually make it, it was them.

I caught up with Jessica a few minutes later and she hugged me enthusiastically.

"Hey, Bella! I haven't seen you in forever."

"I know, it's been crazy."

"How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"Great."

"Are you dating anybody?" I asked.

She giggled. "Mike and I are still on again off again."

"Are you cool with that?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, it's fine. He's cute but it's nothing serious. I went out on a date with a nice guy last weekend but we'll see. I'm having fun."

"Good."

"Are you and Edward still doing your friends with benefits thing?"

"Uh, sort of, he's studying abroad this semester."

"Oh bummer! I'm not sure I could go that long." She giggled.

I shook my head and laughed. "Trust me, it sucks. Skype only does so much."

"Are you and Claire still hooking up?"

I gave her a surprised look. "We've never really hooked up. Just fooling around at the party and stuff like that."

"Oh, I thought maybe it was more."

I shrugged. "I dunno."

She nodded. "She seems nice."

"Yeah, she is." I took a deep breath. "You're not weirded out by it or anything?"

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Nah, not at all. It's cool. My roommate and I make out sometimes at parties. Whatever floats your boat, right?"

I grinned at her. "Yeah."

I loved her frank attitude. Now that she wasn't friends with Lauren anymore I liked her a lot more than I ever had in high school.

"Oooh, hey, I need a drink, want to come get one?"

"Sure." I nodded and we went over to get drinks. I mixed myself a gin and tonic and started talking to Alice who had wandered over to grab a Pina Colada.

"Ugh, how do you drink those?" I made a face.

"I actually like coconut. How do you drink gin? It's nasty! Like gargling Pine Sol."

We both laughed; we'd had that conversation a thousand times before.

"Thanks for coming tonight," she said.

"I'm glad I came," I admitted. "I was kind of getting to be a hermit."

"Yeah, I noticed."

Angela and Ben's party was going full swing when I was distracted by a flash of bronze hair to my left. My head swung around and I gasped when I saw him.

"Edward?"

He turned and smiled at me before walking over and wrapping his arms around me.

"Mmm, Bella. I've missed you. I couldn't stay away any longer."

I breathed in his scent, unable to believe he was really here. I closed my eyes for a second and leaned into him. After a moment I pulled back and looked up at him. Jesus he was beautiful, a little tired maybe, and scruffy, but still so incredibly gorgeous.

"What are you doing here? How long are you home for?"

"Five days in Seattle. I'm on spring break. Most of the people in the program took side trips to Greece or France or England but I wanted to come home to see you."

My heart was beating too fast in my chest but I wasn't sure if it was fear or excitement or something else. I was glad to see him, but things with Claire were already complicated enough. It felt so good to have his arms around me though.

"Surprised?" he asked, grinning at me.

"Very."

I felt strange, flushed and jittery. I went to pull back from him but he didn't let go.

"Good surprise?" he asked, looking a little worried.

"Of course."

I smiled at him and his arms tightened around me. He had come all this way for me, and I had missed him so much. He leaned down to kiss me and I felt my knees go weak. The chemistry was still there between us, for a moment I'd wondered if my feelings for Claire might have changed that, but apparently not. I shut everything else out of my mind for a few moments while I kissed him. His hand tangled in the back of my hair and my knees actually gave out. He grabbed me and pulled his lips away. I blushed and buried my head in Edward's neck when I realized several people were staring at us. This was starting to become quite a habit of mine. When I opened my eyes again everyone had turned away again and I looked up at him.

"Whoops."

"It's so cute when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Blush."

I rolled my eyes at him and he leaned in and spoke in my ear. "Plus, I like making your knees go weak like that."

Damn him, of course he'd noticed, I thought.

"So when did you get back?" I asked him.

"I just flew in. I pretty much came straight from the airport."

"You must be exhausted."

"I was, until I got here and saw you."

I took his hand and squeezed it, amazed at how right it felt to be together.

"You're back!" Alice came up and hugged him. "Yay, our plan worked."

"She was part of my devious plot to keep this a surprise from you," he explained.

I laughed. "Well it worked. No wonder she was so adamant about dragging me to the party."

She grinned at me. "Yep. I was starting to think I was going to have to hog-tie you to get you here."

"Well, when I saw Edward I was starting to think that I was hallucinating."

"Don't you mean fantasizing?" he winked.

"Well, that is something I do an awful lot…"

"Eww, go get a room you two." Alice rolled her eyes and walked off.

"I think that sounds like a great idea," Edward purred in my ear.

"Yeah, it does," I admitted. "But I should stick around for a little while. I just got here and I promised Alice I would." He sighed. "If you're too tired you can head back to wherever you're staying and we can get together tomorrow."

"I had kind of hoped I could stay with you," he said.

"Of course, I just didn't want to assume. But I'd love for you to stay with me, as long as you don't mind a minuscule dorm room with a tiny bed."

"Anything if I get to sleep next to you."

"Alright, I won't stay too late then. We should probably go mingle for a little bit though."

"Ok."

I took Edward's hand and we wandered over to Angela and Ben. I saw her eyes widen and I couldn't help but chuckle. Sometimes I forgot what kind of an effect he had on girls. We talked to them for a while when all of a sudden I caught a glimpse of Claire walking over to us.

"Bella!" she said as she hugged me. "I didn't expect to see you here."

I was enveloped in the scent of the perfume she wore and the ever-present sweetness of cloves.

"I…I didn't expect to see you either."

My heart raced and I started to feel light-headed. We stood there for a moment staring at each other until Edward cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, I'm being rude. Claire, this is…my…Edward." That hadn't come out right at all. I had meant to say that he was my friend, but he was more than that and I stumbled over the words. "Edward, this is…" I hesitated again, "my friend Claire."

They shook hands and I wondered if I was imagining the weird tension between them.

"Where are Mike and John tonight?" I asked her.

"Oh, they're both being a pain in the ass. Mike's pouting because he's trying to get into the pants of some girl in his physics class and she's not interested."

She looked over at Edward. "Mike is my brother." He nodded. "And John, he's…he's a friend. He's just being pissy in general. He didn't want to come tonight. So Julie and I came." She gestured toward her roommate. Julie was staring at Edward with a goofy grin on her face and I couldn't blame her. He was spectacular, even tired and rumpled from travel.

"Bummer," I said. "So how do you know Angela?"

"Honestly, I don't really know her that well. But I have a class with Ben."

"Oh, right, he's in the engineering program too."

"How do you know her?" she asked.

"I went to high school with Angela; we graduated together."

She nodded. "I should go talk to Ben actually. I have a question for him. I'll catch you later,

Bella, nice to meet you Edward."

"Bye, Claire."

Other than a barely murmured sound of agreement when Claire said goodbye I realized Edward had been unusually quiet.

"Are you ok?" I asked when she walked away.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He smiled at me. "Just the jet lag I think."

"Why don't we head back to my place then?"

"Are you sure? I thought you wanted to stick around."

"No, it's alright. I really wouldn't mind some alone time with you and I don't want you to pass out on your feet. Let me just tell Alice I'm leaving and we can head out."

I waved goodbye to Emmett and Jasper across the room. Apparently they had also been part of the surprise. They had met Edward at the airport when he flew in. Rosalie really was sick though. She had been the only one not directly involved in the surprise.

Alice hugged me goodbye and whispered in my ear, "Have fun tonight."

I rolled my eyes at her and we left the party. It was raining lightly and I shivered. I hadn't brought a jacket with me. Edward pulled his off and settled it around my shoulders. We walked in silence for a while, just holding hands. It didn't take long to get back to my dorm. It was after midnight and all but the front door were locked. I had to show my student ID to check in and I had to sign in Edward as a guest. He dug out his driver's license and he flashed a charming smile at the girl who was signing us in and for a moment I thought she was going to hyperventilate.

"That's not nice," I scolded him as we walked up the stairs to my room.

"What's not?"

"You almost gave that poor girl a heart attack."

He laughed. "You exaggerate."

I paused when we got to my door, suddenly inexplicably nervous for some reason. It had been months since I'd seen Edward, or been alone with him. I fumbled with my keys. I finally managed to fit the key in the lock and open the door. I jumped when a flash of light lit up the room and a crack of thunder immediately followed.

"Wow, I guess we got back just in time," he said. "That looks like it's going to be one hell of a storm."

"I know."

I shut the door behind us and walked over to the window. The rain was pouring down and through the old windows I could see the campus illuminated every time the lighting flashed.

"It's beautiful though," I said.

He didn't respond and I turned to look at him but he was staring at me, not the storm. I leaned into him and he moved behind me and put his arms around my waist. He kissed the top of my head and we stood there for a while watching the storm. After a while I noticed him leaning on me a little more heavily and I realized how tired he must be.

"I'm sorry, Edward, you must be exhausted."

"Yeah, I'm getting there. I think I just need to sit down."

"Alright, let's get you ready for bed."

He smiled at me and winked. Even tired he still couldn't help but flirt.

"Oh shit, you don't have any of your stuff with you. Where did you leave it?" I asked.

"My car is at Ben and Angela's. Alice ok-ed it with her, I'll pick it up tomorrow. I wasn't sure what parking was going to be like around the dorm and I just wanted to get back here with you."

"Ok. Well, I'll see if I have an extra toothbrush or something. I doubt you'll fit in my pajamas though."

"No, probably not. But I'd rather sleep naked with you anyway."

I laughed and rummaged around in my toiletries.

"I found a toothbrush for you. There's the bathroom at the end of the hall that you can use, it just has a sink and toilet though. I'll get a loaner key for the guy's shower in the morning so you can use it. I'm going to go brush my teeth and stuff, I'll be back in a few." I paused on my way out the door. "Let's use the pull out couch, we'll be more comfortable there."

I grabbed my things and hurried to the bathroom and stood there shaking for a moment. Edward being here seemed very surreal. I couldn't believe he'd flown halfway around the world to see me. I was glad to see him but my feelings for Claire were still there and I wasn't sure what I wanted. If the guilt about my interest in Claire had been bad before, it was worse now with him right in front of me. I absentmindedly brushed my teeth and washed my face. I stood there for a while staring at myself in the mirror, unsure of what to do. I took a deep breath before I walked back to my room. No over-thinking things tonight I promised myself, just be glad that Edward's here.

I gasped when I opened the door. He had lit a couple of candles and there was music playing. Morphine. He knew me too well.

"Planning on coming in the room or did I scare you off?" he asked.

I realized I was still standing in the hallway and I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, locking it for the night.

"You didn't scare me off, it's amazing."

"I'm glad. I wanted to surprise you."

"You definitely did. Was putting Morphine on intentional?" I asked, gesturing toward the docking station for my iPod.

"Of course, I remembered that you said you wanted to listen to them during a storm." He smiled. "You like?"

"I do. I just can't believe you remembered that."

He pulled me into his arms and held me. "I remember everything you said."

I smiled and rested my head against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat and it was strong and steady, thrumming just under the sound of the music and the occasional crack of thunder. I let myself relax into him for a few moments until I remembered how tired he must be. I pulled away and he smiled at me.

"You all ready for bed?" he asked.

"Yes." Nervous tension was still making my stomach clench so I took a deep breath as he laid down.

"Then come here."

I took another deep breath and crawled into bed beside him. He had managed to locate my sheets and make up the pull out couch for us. I wondered how long I'd actually been in the bathroom freaking out. He wrapped his arms around me and sighed.

"God I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

He kissed me and it was slow but a little bit desperate.

"I wish you could be there with me." His fingers brushed along my cheekbones.

"I know. Me too."

He laughed softly. "I'm not sure how much sightseeing we'd get done though. Do you think I'd let you out of my bed?"

"Umh, true."

He kissed me again and I felt myself getting wet. He pulled away long enough to nibble my ear but then he yawed.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm exhausted. I really want you right now, but I'm wiped out."

"It's ok, Edward. I've made it through a couple of months, I can wait until tomorrow." I kissed his forehead. "Sleep."

He sighed and laid his head on my shoulder. I stroked his hair and in a few minutes he was asleep. I watched him for a while but eventually my eyes closed too.

I woke up several hours later and realized the candles were still burning, although the music had stopped. I stared down at Edward, watching him sleep. He was so beautiful. Sleep softened the sharp lines of his face and with his dark heavy lashes against his cheeks he looked very young. I pulled away from him a little and he frowned. I lightly stroked the furrows on his forehead and they softened again into sleep. I disentangled myself from Edward and blew the candles out. I slipped back into bed beside him and he wrapped his arms around me protectively. He was asleep and his breathing was slow and even.

"I love you, Edward but I don't know what to do," I whispered and tucked my head against his neck. "I'm so scared." His breathing never changed and soon I was asleep too.


-Were you surprised to see Edward?

-What did you think of Edward and Claire meeting?