So sorry for the lag in updates! Life has basically knocked me down, but I'm back along with our favorite family...
Noah was quietly coloring a picture at the coffee table, while Ed and Olivia sat motionless on the couch. To say it had been an exhausting day would be the world's biggest understatement. The enormity of the sentencing, coupled with watching Charlie fall apart, had the couple at a loss for what to do next. So they sat in silence, watching a three year old color a card for his older sister.
"What now?" Ed asked, almost monotone, as he squeezed Olivia's hand a bit tighter. It had been a rough few months for Ed, being as he was officially retired. He was busying himself with odd jobs around the apartment and caring for Noah once he finished his half-day preschool program. Being Mr. Mom had it's perks, but it was still a big adjustment for a man who was used to working 80 hours a week.
"We live our lives," Olivia said quietly, but with wisdom deeper than most people. "We stand by Charlie. We keep her in counseling. We finish up Christmas shopping. We just, continue on."
"I totally forgot that Christmas is a few weeks away…" Ed mumbled as he rubbed his hand over his face. It was early December, and even though the family had already put up the Christmas tree and decorations, they were having a hard time getting into the spirit.
"Well, we've had a few things happening. The sentencing, you moving in, not being able to find a bigger place we like," Olivia mused. "Getting into the Christmas spirit just wasn't a priority. Tho, now it can be?"
"Absolutely," Ed responded while pulling her close and kissing her forehead. "It's our family's first Christmas together."
Olivia just looked up at him with watery eyes and smiled. Given the year they all had, it was not lost on either of them just how miraculous this Christmas would be.
"I love you." she said, quietly to him.
"I love you too," he responded. "Maybe once we get through the holiday, we can look at destinations for our wedding."
Olivia just kept staring at him for a while then leaned up to kiss him softly.
"That sounds perfect."
"Tar-lie?"
Noah was standing in the doorway of the master bedroom, hoping that his Charlie would be awake and ready for his arrival. He clutched a wrapped knish in his hand and waited patiently for her to respond.
"Hey, Noah," she said sleepily as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. She scooted back and leaned against the headboard, then opened her arms signaling to the little boy he could climb up. Noah wasted no time as he scurried across the room and leapt onto the bed, landing on her legs with a giggle.
"I bringed you soo-prise!" Noah said still clutching the little bag and looking at Charlie with excited eyes. He was literally bouncing with excitement.
"You did?" She asked, in a somewhat fake enthusiasm but Noah didn't notice. "What is it?"
"It a NISH!" He exclaimed proudly, and handed her the brown paper sack. She looked curiously inside, since she really had no idea what he was talking about. Even after she pulled out the delicacy, she was still unsure.
"Me and Uncle Munchie go to Jewish diner and bringed this back for you. It po-ta-to. It good." He explain, as Charlie continued to examine the square, fried piece of food. She wasn't hungry at this point, but knew Noah would be devastated if she didn't enjoy his surprise, so she took a small bite. It actually tasted good to her, being it was mainly just potato, so she smiled and took another bite.
"See Tar-lie? Nishes good." He said confidently then leaned up, hoping to steal a bite. Charlie just laughed and tore it in half so they could split it. Noah happily took his half and munched quickly, still sitting on Charlie's legs and watching her eat too.
"Nish make you feel better, Tar-lie?" He asked innocently between bites. Ed and Olivia had gently explained to Noah that Charlie was sad because she had to see the "bad man" today. Noah immediately got upset, but Olivia assured him the bad man was now in jail and would never hurt anyone again. The young boy was very in tune with the feelings of his family, and he also seemed to posses and depth of understanding that surprised people. Ed had once told Olivia that it was because she was his mom, and she was teaching him to have deep compassion. With Olivia Benson for a mother, the tyke had no choice but to inherit that same compassion and pull to help people.
"A little," Charlie said. "But you definitely make me feel better."
Noah just grinned at her, took his last bit of knish, then made his way to her side and cuddled up with her. She pulled him close and kissed the top of his head, causing him to look up at her.
"Momma said the bad guy went to jail, Tar-lie. Dat good," he said softly, repeating what he had been told. "Dat means he won't hurt you 'gain, right?"
Charlie locked eyes with the little boy and saw his little three year old heart through his expression.
"Right, Noah, he can't hurt me or anyone else" Charlie voice was soft as she spoke, given it was the first time she had really said anything about the hearing or given clear thought to the idea that Josh Miller would be behind bars for a long time. Noah squeezed his little arms around her as tightly as he could, and she returned the sentiment.
"Dat good, Tar-lie. I lub you." He said and closed his eyes as he relished in their cuddle. Charlie swallowed the cries bubbling up, but couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. That is when she noticed the two adults standing in the doorway, watching their little exchange. Olivia had a lone tear falling, while Ed just smiled at the scene.
"Do you think you can eat something more?" Ed asked Charlie, hoping to get a little more food in her stomach, seeing as she vomited most of it out earlier.
"Yeah, I think so," Charlie said. "Nothing crazy though."
"How about I run over to Tony's and get some different pasta dishes?" Ed offered, grabbing his wallet of the dresser. "Then we can all play a game or just pile in the bed and watch a movie?"
"PAN!" Noah yelled in excitement. The adults chuckled and Olivia rolled her eyes.
"Noah, let's pick a different movie ok?" She said as gently as possible. Noah immediately sat up and gave her a look of shock.
"No, no other movie good," he said in his little opinionated voice. Olivia raised her eyebrow at him.
"You sure?" She asked and then went over to her nightstand and pulled out a DVD she had intended to use as a stocking stuffer, and handed it to him. "Not even this?"
Noah's eyes got wide as he held the new DVD. After a few moments, his shock wore off and he turned to shove it in Charlie's face.
"Tar-lie look it! Momma buyed me CARS 2!" Charlie didn't have to fake her excitement this time, as she was more than relieved to not have to sit through another showing of Peter Pan.
"Oh, let's watch that, pal!" She exclaimed and then went to get up. "But first, I need to shower and change."
"Hey Noah, want to go with me to Tony's?" Ed asked, hoping to give the women a bit of space.
"I get cookie?" He asked, trying to decide if the trip was going to yield anything good.
"You aren't full after the diner?" Olivia asked, teasing him a bit. Noah shook his head furiously.
"Don't worry, Momma. I leave room for cookie."
A freshly showered Charlie made her way out to the kitchen wearing leggings and her dad's NYPD sweatshirt. There was something incredibly soothing about the warm white lights from the tree radiating through the living room, with a NYC skyline in the background. After the day they had, Charlie knew they all needed to be soothed. She checked the clock and saw it was almost 7pm. She could really go for a coffee, though, so started to brew a pot of decaf hazelnut. Her dad would mock her, but Olivia would enjoy it too. As she waited for it to brew, she glanced around wondering if Olivia had decided to go with her dad and Noah. As if she read her thoughts, the apartment door opened and in walked Olivia.
"Hey Charlie," she said a bit breathlessly. "Making coffee?"
"Yeah, decaf hazelnut. Dad can get over it," she said with a little laugh and Olivia smiled. It was a relief to see a little humor and life back in the young woman. "You doing laundry?"
"No, I actually went up to see a vacant apartment about six floors up," she said slowly, watching how Charlie reacted. When the girl seemed okay and interested, she continued. "It has three bedrooms and a terrace. In decent shape, but will need some work. I haven't told your dad about it yet, but it might be perfect for all of us."
Charlie just watched her for a bit, unsure if she meant that she would be moving with them or not. Again, Olivia read her thoughts.
"I was thinking you could either move in with us, or you could keep my apartment," she spoke quickly and with her hands, almost as if she was nervous. "Or even both, really. I own this apartment, so you could live with us for a while then move in here when you are ready. I think…well, I just want you to be close by, if at all possible."
Charlie just stood there watching the woman in front of her explain all of this to her. She was a little bit in awe of how much Olivia would think to include her when making plans for her family. It had been obvious that they were looking for an apartment recently, but Charlie just tried to ignore it as she was unsure what that would mean for her. Now here she was, feeling silly that she even thought Olivia would exclude her from their plans. The woman had not once done something that did not prove that Charlie was a member of their family, even when it was a bit awkward.
"Don't think about it now, sweetheart," Olivia jumped in, realizing now was not the time. "You've had a rough day. We will talk this through when we are all a little more clear in the head."
Charlie just smiled at her and took a sip of her hot coffee. She turned around and fixed Olivia a cup, just how she liked it, and handed it across the bar.
"Here, Olivia," she said softly, her voice still scratchy from all of the emotion from the day.
"Thanks, Charlie."
"No, thank you…for everything."
"Hey Noah, let's pop in here." Ed said quickly, as he steered the boy into a ma and pop jewelry store next to Tony's. He had an idea as to what to get his girls for Christmas and thought this would be a good time to check it out. They had just ordered the meals and had about half an hour to kill before it was all ready.
"Whoa! Pretty." Noah exclaimed as he examined the different necklaces and bracelets. Ed held tightly to his hand, but patiently let him look in all the glass cases. Finally a salesperson noticed them and came over.
"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes, I'm looking for a Christmas gift for my daughter and fiance," Ed said confidently. "I saw something in your store window last month that I thought would be perfect. But I don't see it now."
"Can you describe the piece?"
Ed went on to explain what he was looking for, while Noah stood patiently by his side and following his every word. The salesperson nodded away and then went into the back to see what he could come up with for them. As they waited, Ed squatted down so he could be eye level with Noah.
"Okay, Noah. This needs to be a man-to-man secret, okay?" Noah looked at him very seriously and nodded.
"Otay, Daddy. I keep see-cret," he said and Ed's breath caught once again. Daddy. "Dis be Noah and Daddy see-cret."
Ed had to keep his emotions in check, so the little boy wouldn't think something was wrong. Instead he just gave him a smile and pulled him in for a tight hug.
"Exactly," he said softly. "It is a Noah and Daddy secret."
Just then the man reappeared with two purple boxes that looked about the size to hold a necklace. He beckoned them over to the counter, placing the open boxes in front of them. Ed lifted Noah up so they could both look.
"Dat pretty, Daddy." Noah said softly, as if speaking loudly would ruin their secret. Ed nodded in agreement.
"You are right Noah. I think they are perfect. Do you?" He nodded quickly in agreement, so Ed informed the man they would take the necklaces. As they waited for him to ring up the total, Noah laid his head on Ed's shoulders.
"Dis a good see-cret, Daddy. Momma and Tar-lie be soo-prised?"
"You bet, bud."
"Good," he said and then pulled his head up and used his little hands to turn Ed's face to him. "Now I need dat cookie, Daddy."
"Whatever you want, buddy," Ed said softly. "Whatever you want."
Up Next: Christmas!
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