Tales of Symphonia © Namco

Beta: Synodic

"Presea?" Genis calls into the house, creaking the door open. "Are you here?"

He doesn't step through the threshold, obviously hesitant to see the body in the bedroom again, but I do see him fidget slightly. "Sis?"

Raine crosses her arms, inclining her head in thought. "She may have gone into town; perhaps some of us should go search for her."

"A few of us can head up to Ozette," Sheena agrees. "We need to stock up on supplies anyways, right?"

Raine nods. "Yes. Who's staying here?"

I raise my hand a bit, and she nods. "Anyone else? We only need a few people to go."

"Oh — can I come?" Colette asks, swinging her arms at her side. "I saw a cute dog the last time we were here; I want to see him again!"

"I don't see why not," Raine agrees, and I frown. There's a nagging feeling in the back of my head — like I'm forgetting something, but I can't put my finger on it. A few seconds pass, in which it's decided that Genis, Raine, Sheena, and Colette will go up to Ozette, while the rest of us wait here.

Lloyd slumps down on the porch, arms stretched out at his side, and I drop down beside him, staring intently at my feet; that feeling is still here, growing stronger by the second, but I can't for the life of me figure out why.

"What's wrong?" Lloyd's voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and I glance down at him curiously. "You've got a strange look on your face."

"Oh — sorry," I apologize. "I'm just … thinking about some stuff." I draw my knees up to my chest, loosely wrapping my arms around them and leaning back.

Lloyd stares at me for a long second before sitting up fully, and a long moment of silence passes before he asks, "Are you OK?"

I blink. "What? Why do you ask?"

Lloyd frowns deeply. "You know why," he presses. "Back in Mizuho — you said you were fine, but I can tell you're not. You made up with Sheena, right?"

"Yeah," I manage. "It's nothing like that; just … I'm tired."

My stomach twists, a sick feeling of dread weighing it down, and I tap my fingers rapidly as I try and keep myself calm. Lloyd watches silently before standing up and offering me a hand. "Wanna try sparring?" he offers. "You've never sparred with swords before, right?"

I stare at the hand silently for a second, before shrugging. "Sure … I'll probably suck, though," I warn him.

We use a pair of wooden practice swords that he pulls out from somewhere; Lloyd easily disarms me the first time because of how distracted I am — the second time is a bit better, though Zelos has decided to be as distracting as possible for some reason.

"Great — remember to keep your arms up!" Lloyd calls, and I adjust my grip around the handle as I bring it up to block his attack. Because he uses two swords, it's stupidly difficult and all around strange to spar with him — he's completely unpredictable with how he's going to attack or come at me.

It's like that time, way back at the mausoleum, except a bit easier considering he's not actually going for my throat this time.

Fifteen minutes passes fairly quickly, and we take a short break when it becomes too much for me. Lloyd's stamina, at least when it comes to swords, is much higher than mine.

"You're hard to spar with," I mumble after taking a drink of water. "So unpredictable."

Lloyd shrugs, leaning back in thought. "That's kinda the point," he replies. "You're unpredictable, too, though — you've never had actual training, right?"

"Mm." I agree. "Well, my martial arts class back on Earth had me learn some stuff, but it wasn't for battle. Just show."

I pause. "Actually — wanna see something I learned before I got here? I'm not sure if I can still do it, but it's worth a try."

"What is it?" Lloyd asks. "Something cool?"

I nod, picking my practice sword up off the ground. "If I do it right, yeah."

I take a few steps back and nod to myself before running forward and launching myself into an aerial — but as my legs swing over I stumble, losing my balance, and suddenly I'm crashing into the ground with a jolt as a wave of dizziness assaults me head on.

My impact knocks the breath out of me — but the panic that follows isn't from that. A bird swoops overhead circling momentarily before it lands on top of a tree branch, and before Lloyd has even said anything I'm already to my feet, stumbling from the suddenness of it. My chest is tight and I stumble over to my sword, nearly dropping it in my sudden haste.

"Eden?" Lloyd starts, but I ignore him, unable to form any kind of response. My hands are shaking and before I realize what I'm doing I've taken off into a run, panic hitting me with a startling violence.

The Papal Knights are already there when I make it into the town, and it's painfully obvious that the four members of our group are outnumbered. Sheena ducks beneath an attack, struggling to both fight off three and protect Raine and Genis at the same time — I search frantically for Colette and find her practically backed into a corner. Her wings sprout from her shoulders, allowing her to shoot into the air and return back to the other three.

"Shit," I whisper. I grip my sword tighter, ignoring the shaking in my legs, and without more than a second thought I move to attack one of them from the back.

The rest of our group appears just seconds after, making the battle more manageable — and now that the battle is over, I'm struck with a strong sense of confusion.

The whole reason in the game that the Papal Knights were able to track down the group was because of a charm that Sheena was given by Kuchinawa when receiving the EC. But we never got the EC; technically, we're not wanted criminals; there's no reason for the Papal Knights to be after us, and there's no reason they should be able to find us.

"They called us criminals," Genis says lowly. "And they're after Colette — what did we do?"

Colette's shoulders droop. "I'm so sorry everyone … this is all my fault."

"Don't be silly," Zelos tells her placatingly. "They're after my life too — we've all done something to piss off the Pope, especially if they're calling us wanted criminals." He turns to look at Regal. "Sheena is from Mizuho, now considered a village of traitors for associating with us, and the Pope thinks Eden is from there too. Regal is considered a traitor too."

Colette hesitates, before finally whispering, "… Thanks, Zelos."

"Stop thinking everything is your fault," Lloyd scolds.

"I'm sorry, Lloyd."

Lloyd sighs. "You don't need to apologize for it."

Colette turns, heading towards the fence, only to suddenly drop to her knees, her face screwed up as an anguished cry escapes her mouth. Lloyd immediately drops beside her, eyes wide.

"Colette!?" He calls. "Professor! Colette's —"

Raine kneels down as well, brushing Colette's bangs away from her face and laying her palm across her forehead. Her mouth thins into a line. "She's running a fever," she tells him. Lloyd reaches out to touch the blonde's arm, only for Colette to bite back another whimper. "But what could be causing this much pain?"

"Move." I freeze at Presea's voice, hand gripping tighter around my sword. "Please leave this to me."

No — no. I open my mouth to protest, to say something to stop her from going to Colette, but I barely get the words out before Raine has agreed.

"No — Presea, don't!" I cry out, but it's too late. Presea swings her axe out, forcing us to retreat away, and within seconds Presea has knocked Colette onto her back with the brunt of her axe. Rodyle comes up behind her, his usual grin stretched across his face.

"Good work, Presea." He turns his eyes towards the sky, where two wyverns are rapidly approaching, and we're forced to retreat even further to avoid them attacking us. "You've done exactly as I've asked of you."

Sheena grits her teeth when Presea and Rodyle approach the wyverns. "Damn — Corrine!" She mutters under her breath. "Don't let them get Colette!"

He manages to trip Presea, effectively stalling her, but Rodyle doesn't seem to care about leaving her behind — he mounts his wyvern quickly, dragging Colette's limp body onto it with him, and before we can do anything he's already in the air.

"I am Rodyle — the most cunning of the Desian Grand Cardinals!" He laughs to himself, his grip around Colette tightening. "I hope you don't mind me taking the Chosen One!"

Lloyd jerks, his eyes widening. "Desian? Why are the Desians in Tethe'alla!?"

Rodyle cackles again, patting the neck of his wyvern, and before we can stop him they've already taken off. "Colette!" Lloyd screams. "Stop — come back here!"

We just stand there for a minute, unable to do anything except stare in shock, and Regal is the one who finally breaks it. "Lloyd," he starts. "Will you still help Presea?"

Lloyd hesitates, taking a moment to stare at the girl across from him. Then, finally, he agrees, "Yeah."

He reaches into his bag for the key crest, approaching Presea cautiously, his eyes locked on the battle axe at her side. When she makes no motion to attack with it he presses it against the Exsphere on her chest.

There's a long silence, in which no one says anything, before a small gasp comes from the girl. "Presea?" Genis asks. "Are you OK?"

Presea turns, her grip on her axe weakening as she looks around. "What?" She whispers, panic quickly seeping into her voice as her eyes dart around frantically. "What am I doing?"

"Where's my daddy?" She all but abandons the axe, letting it slump to the ground as she breaks off into a run, heading back towards the slope that leads to her house. We follow wordlessly, Regal grabbing the axe as we pass, and Raine places a soothing hand across Presea's shoulder blades as she leads her into the house.

Even from outside, I can hear the scream loud and clear — the anguish and terror ringing out with a horrible clarity. I slouch forward, half covering my ears and half hiding, wanting nothing more than to disappear.

If I hadn't forgotten, if I'd stopped Colette from going into town — none of this would've happened. Colette wouldn't have been knocked out, taken by Rodyle; she'd still be here.

It's your fault, the Exsphere tells me; the first thing it's said to me in days — and I drag my fingers through my hair. You let this happen.

'I know,' I reply. 'I know. I'm sorry.'

Zelos drops down beside me, an unusually solemn expression on his face. "You knew, didn't you?" he accuses, his voice low enough that I don't have to worry about anyone else hearing, and my heart leaps into my throat.

"No," I lie. "I didn't."

He scoffs. "So you took off like a bat out of hell earlier for no reason at all?"

Ah — the sparring session; I'd forgotten about that. I drag my knees to my chest, pressing my forehead against the bones and breathing in shakily. "I heard the knights," I whisper. "I heard them, but I didn't realize what it was until — until then."

Zelos raises an eyebrow, but his response is cut off when Raine and Presea exit the house. There are obvious tears in the girl's eyes, the edges red and her cheeks wet, but she simply straightens her shoulders and heads around the back, returning with a single shovel.

"I'll help," Lloyd says. "Do you have any more?"

Presea nods wordlessly. Lloyd goes to grab one, and, much to my surprise, Zelos follows after him. Raine sighs, coming up beside me. "Why don't you help Sheena carve the headstone?" She offers. "Regal and I will be moving the body, and I'm sure you'd … rather not go back in there."

I swallow dryly. "Yeah," I agree. "I will — thank you, Professor."

By the time the grave and headstone are finished it's well into the afternoon; Presea drags out an old, rusted axe from the shed behind the house, laying it across the grave. She kneels silently in front of it, knees drawn to her chest and eyes focused on the headstone.

"… Thank you for assisting in my daddy's burial," she offers, and despite the warble in her voice it's all around steady. She stands up, sniffling to herself. "I … appreciate the help, despite what I've done."

Raine frowns in concern. "Have you calmed down a bit?"

Presea sniffles again, rubbing her fist against her eyes rather roughly. "I've … been a great burden on you all," she says weakly. "I apologize."

"You remember, then?" Lloyd asks.

She hesitates for a moment before nodding. "Yes … mostly."

"Why did you have an Exsphere like that on you in the first place?" Genis asks.

Presea frowns. "Um … I received it from a person named Vharley."

"I knew it," Regal murmurs to himself. "Vharley."

Presea offers him a small look, but continues on with her story, "I wanted to save my sick daddy; I wanted to learn to wield an axe so that I could work in my daddy's place … so Vharley introduced me to a man named Rodyle." She hesitates, before finishing with, "That's when I was taken to the Research Academy in Sybak."

"In Sybak?" Zelos repeats. "So that means those experiments they did on you were carried out by the Pope, right?"

"Um … I don't know," Presea admits. "But a woman named … Kate, I believe, was the one who actually carried out the experiments."

"If the experiments were ordered by the Pope, then that means that the Pope is working with that Desian!" Lloyd exclaims. "They're in league with each other!"

Regal frowns. "Presea," he begins, "do you have an older sister by chance?"

She shakes her head. "No."

"Do you have any other family?" Raine attempts. Presea shakes her head again.

"No … just my daddy. My mommy died when I was a child; well — … I have a younger sister, actually," she says slowly. "But she left to go into service for a noble. That was the last time I saw her."

"Wait, when you were a child? You still are a child."

Presea hesitates, her eyes flickering away, and I ball my hands into fists and ask, "Presea … how long ago did you get your Exsphere?"

She blinks, a startled expression coming across her face, but she quickly covers it up with embarrassment. "Um … a few years, I believe. The Exsphere … it has stunted my growth."

"At any rate," Sheena starts, "you have no one to turn to; we can't just leave you in this village by yourself."

"Yes, Sheena is right — Presea, would you be alright with traveling with us for a little while longer?" Raine asks. "Perhaps we can search for your sister as well."

Presea nods. "Yes … I would like to go with you all. It is my fault that Colette was taken away, after all; so please, let me help in her rescue."

"Please allow me to come along as well." I blink, turning to look at Regal. He straightens his shoulders as he says, "It seems my fate is linked to your enemy."

"Huh? How?" Lloyd asks. "Because the Pope hired you?"

Regal frowns. "No."

He doesn't elaborate past that and I sigh to myself.

"Well, I don't mind," Lloyd begins. "What about you guys?"

The general consensus seems to be in agreement; there's a slight bit of hesitation from Zelos and Raine, but it all around is outweighed.

"I am in your debt," Regal states, bowing his head a bit. "I shall not betray your trust."

"It's still quite early in the day," Raine notes, "but it seems like none of us are in a state to travel today. Why don't we stay at the inn tonight and head out tomorrow? We still need to figure out where we're going, after all."

Sheena nods. "I agree — we'll have to head back to Mizuho tomorrow and check on the Rheairds. I'm almost sure they haven't found them yet, but … it's not like we have any other choice," she admits. "Also, I'll put in a request for them to keep a lookout for Colette and Rodyle."

"Yes, that sounds good." Raine hesitates before saying, "Presea — I know you may feel guilt over your actions, but do not let it consume you; you can't blame yourself for this."

Presea's expression falls slightly, a flash of guilt passing her face. Then, she nods slowly. "Yes … I understand. Thank you, Raine."

We head towards the tree trunk only to be stopped when Kratos steps forward. Lloyd's shoulders tense, hands immediately shooting down to his swords, but when Kratos makes no move to attack they relax slightly.

"So, you've lost the Chosen," Kratos notes. Lloyd grits his teeth.

"You again — what have you done with Colette!?"

Kratos scoffs. "Rodyle is ignoring our orders and acting on his own," he tells us. "I know nothing of it."

"Internal strife? How pathetic," Raine mutters. "Cruxis isn't even able to control their own men, then?"

"Say what you will," Kratos replies. "Either way, he will have no choice but to abandon the Chosen. In her current state, she is useless; you can let her be."

"You've got to be kidding me," Lloyd snaps. "We're going to rescue Colette no matter what — and if you get in our way—"

"I will not," Kratos says simply, turning away from our group. "If you wish to save the Chosen, then I suggest you seek the Rheairds and head for the eastern skies." With that he heads off, disappearing into the mess of trees — and it's only when he's completely gone that Lloyd relaxes.

"What's the guy trying to do?" he wonders aloud, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. "Telling us stuff like that."

Zelos shrugs. "Ah, well. Who cares? If he's useful, might as well make use of him. Though, can you guys really trust the stuff that guy says? He did betray you once already."

"I agree, for once," Sheena says. "We'll head back to Mizuho tomorrow; I trust their intel a lot more than his."

The rest of the day passes by fairly uneventfully; we split up the rooms evenly for once, and while Sheena spends most of the remaining daytime socializing with the group I find myself holed up in our shared room talking to James.

"Zelos really is perceptive," I say softly, rolling onto my stomach. I rest my forehead on my forearms. "I thought I was in trouble today … I shouldn't have forgotten like that."

"Well, it has been awhile since you last played," James notes, "and you've been pretty stressed out lately."

I shake my head. "It's not an excuse … I should've remembered. That's my job. If I'd remembered then Colette would still be here, and we wouldn't —" I yawn, "—w-wouldn't have been in this situation."

"I mean … you're not wrong," he starts, "but you don't need to be so hard on yourself. You can't control everything."

"I can try." A knock interrupts our conversation and I push myself up on my hands, looking over my shoulder as Sheena enters the room.

"Hey," she offers, "dinner's ready; have you been sleeping this whole time?"

I blink. "Eh … no?" I run my hand through my hair, swinging my legs over the side of my bed. "Not really."

She rolls her eyes, but offers me an amused smile regardless. "Just don't stay up all night because you decided to be lazy today; we'll be pretty busy tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah, I know …" I sigh. I hesitate as we head down the stairs, my stomach twisting in discomfort at the thought of eating; my appetite is still completely nonexistent. "I'm not really hungry," I admit. "Do you think Raine will care if I skip?"

"Uh, yes?" She replies. "Especially considering you've used that same excuse twice today already." She frowns. "You're not getting sick, are you?"

I pause, raising my hand to my forehead to test the temperature. "I don't think so?"

"Well," Sheena starts, "you do need to eat something today. If you're getting sick though, you should tell one of us."

I shrug. "I'm not. Maybe I'm getting my period."

Sheena blanches and I laugh slightly. "I'm kidding," I jest, "I think I'd be in more pain otherwise."

"You think? Haven't you …?" She trails off for a moment before her eyes widen in realization. "You haven't?"

I shake my head. "Nope … back on Earth my doctor said not to worry unless I turned sixteen and didn't get it." I pause. "Actually … now that I think about it, I'm sixteen back on Earth."

"You should really bring that up to the Professor — preferably after dinner," she hastily tacks on. "I can't believe I didn't notice it before."

"Why would you?" I ask. "It's not like it's something you casually talk about."

Our conversation dies away when we reach the dining area. I force myself to eat the food, if only to keep Sheena happy and Raine from scolding me more about it, but unfortunately the nausea continues to grow with each bite until I have to actually force myself not to throw it all up.

We all scatter again after dinner is over with and barely thirty minutes later, after everyone has gone their separate ways, I find myself propped up against the wall of the inn, hidden in the shadows of the building after emptying my stomach contents across the floor. My hands are clammy, shaking and trembling bad enough that I can't control them, and a coil of panic settles deep in my chest.

"What are you doing to me?"I choke out, resting my head against the wall. "Why are you doing it?"

You don't deserve this life — this body, the Exsphere hisses. Just give up already.

I bite my knuckles to keep from crying, already able to feel the sob bubbling in my throat, the helplessness surrounding me — I just want to go home.

The Exsphere continues without even pausing, You're never going home. You're never leaving, you're never going to make it back to your family so stop trying already.

James says something that I don't catch; I drag myself into a ball and ignore the urge to slam my head back into the wall, just to make it — make everything shut up.

Useless, it sneers. Why don't you go ahead and do it? Smash your skull and scatter your brain across the wall; or are you too afraid?

"Sh—shut up," I order weakly, but my voice feels foreign and strange. The words are distant; I'm distant. "Why won't you — just—just leave me alone."

It laughs and I squeeze my eyes shut, chest constricting painfully as I struggle to breathe. My hands are still shaking so I drag them through my hair, pulling at the strands desperately. A slight, drawn out whimper drags itself from my throat and I barely manage to restrain the others that try and follow. Too close — too close to the door, too close to everyone else; I need to move but I can't.

You're such a baby, the Exsphere grumbles. Why do you have to cry so much?

I wheeze out a breath, pushing to my feet despite the shakiness in my legs. My throat burns from the acid, and I rub my eyes roughly to hide any traces of tears before heading back towards the inn.

Sheena's in the room when I reach it, and she opens her mouth to say something in greeting only for it to fall away when I flop face first into the bed.

"Are you alright?" She asks. "Did you talk to the Professor yet?"

"Mmh …" I roll so that my back is facing her, my eyes sliding shut. "No … I don't feel like it tonight. I-I'm just — tired," I lie.

I hear her shift on her bed. "Eden … I really think you should go see her," she says, her voice taking an uncharacteristic tone. "You've been feeling off for awhile, right? It's only going to get worse if you don't ask for help."

"I'm — no," I argue. "No. I don't need to. I'm fine. If it gets worse I will but —" I sigh, burying my face in my pillow. "I probably just … need to go to bed early.

"Didn't you sleep most of today though?" I don't respond, and Sheena sighs before reluctantly agreeing. "… If you're sure," she replies. "You heading to bed now, then?"

"Mm." I shrug. "I'll try to at least."

Sheena sighs. "Well, alright — don't get in the habit of it, though. Too much sleep is bad for you too."

"Yeah, yeah, I know …" I crawl under the blankets, flicking off my own lamp. "Goodnight, Sheena."

"Night Eden."

"—scared?" He whispers. "Is that true?"

I tremble, throat tight with nerves. He watches me carefully, and I can do little more than shut my eyes and hold back tears. My voice doesn't work anymore.

"I think your parents might worry," he muses, adjusting the machine, "but they'll do anything to keep their child alive, right?"

Pain, pain, pain — the tube is still in my throat and my body is immobile. The painkillers don't help much at this point.

I wake up in a cold sweat, terror bursting through my body as my heart pounds in my chest. I scramble off the bed, barely remembering to keep silent when I see Sheena's sleeping form in the opposite bed. Somehow I manage to scramble out of the room without waking her, and I all but collapse against the railing in the hallway, body shaking like a leaf.

Outside — I need to get away —

Hehe, the Exsphere giggles, what if you go outside and they take you? They'll find you — they'll find you here.

"N—No they weren't," I whisper, but my voice is shaking too badly. "Won't. I'm — I'm safe. I'm safe."

Hmm … are you, though? It muses. Wanna know something cool, then?

I can practically hear it smirking and I straighten up, turning towards the stairway. There's a light shining from underneath Raine's door.

I can show you things.

"What—?"

And suddenly I'm not here; I'm not in the inn — I'm inside there, laying on a bed and hooked up to tubes.

The terror is stifling; I stop breathing, practically vibrating, and I attempt to shove myself to my feet — to run and get away from here when the door opens and he steps through.

"Hello again, Eden," Riven says pleasantly, that same smile drawn across his mouth. James comes up behind him silently. "We're going to try something new today, alright? You don't seem to be adapting well to what we're doing."

I can't speak, can't move and I meet James' eyes, desperately pleading, begging for him to get me out of here, but he simply looks away.

And oh god it hurts — I try to scream but no sound comes out except a choked whimper, and Riven just smiles down at me, motioning towards James, and he steps forward —

I practically slam into the door, barely managing to stop myself before it causes an actual ruckus, and it takes all my self control not to pound on the door in my desperation.

Raine opens the door carefully, glancing at me — and her stern expression melts into one of concern when she sees me.

"Eden?" She asks quietly, before cracking the door open a bit more. "Are you alright?"

I shake my head — "N-No," I gasp. "I'm — I'm — I'm there."

I'm frozen, gasping for breath and struggling to keep myself from coming apart at the seams.

"It's spring right now — been quite a few months," James tells me placatingly. "But you're doing good, Eden. It'll be over soon."

Raine says something that I don't catch before reaching out and placing her hand softly on my upper back, stepping out of the room and shutting it quietly behind her.

"Alright," she says softly. "Why don't we go downstairs; is that alright with you?"

I swallow thickly, my hands shaking, but I manage to nod despite my rapidly growing panic. Raine's hand remains on my upper back as she leads me down the stairs, taking them slowly, and I follow her wordlessly, blinking through tears as the Exsphere sends me clips and random bursts of memories.

We settle down in the lounge and I collapse into the couch, dragging my hands to my face. Raine pauses, as if she's thinking deeply, before she asks, "Is it alright for me to sit next to you?"

"I—" I swallow again. "Y-Yeah."

Raine sits beside me on the couch, keeping a reasonable distance between us while still managing to be close. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head. "I—I can't."

"Can't what?" I shake my head again. "Come on, Eden; please talk to me. I can't read minds, and you came to me for help — you need to talk to me if you want me to help you."

I drag my hands up to my scalp and manage to choke out an airy, "Can't breathe."

Raine nods. "Alright. Do you know any breathing exercises? If you'd prefer to nod or shake your head that's fine."

I nod, and Raine sighs to herself. "Good. Do them for me. Do you need me to count?"

I nod again, and Raine begins to count in a calm, even tone — and I try to match my breaths to her counting but it doesn't work.

"N-Not — it's not work—ing," my voice trembles and I barely manage to stabilize it enough that I don't make a complete fool out of myself. "I-It — I —"

The words get clogged up in my throat and I sob, the sound forcing through the blockage and making me feel sick. "Help me," I beg, hands shaking as I rock back and forth. "Help me, help me help me."

"Does it hurt?" Riven asks, without an ounce of wonder or disbelief. He speaks like he's talking to a doll. "Let's try this instead … it's ten percent."

Raine sighs again but this time it's laced with concern. "How can I help you, Eden? What do you need me to do? Would you like me to get Sheena?"

"C—an't let her — s-see me like thi—s," I manage to force out, sentence interrupted by several shaking gasps. The Exsphere is all but cackling in my head. "Please. Make it stop. I can't do this."

"Is she asleep right now?" I nod, and Raine brushes a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Alright then; if you don't want me to wake her up, I won't; but you need to work with me." She pauses, before offering, "Why don't you tell me about it?"

"Tests," I blurt out weakly. "When I — I was there. The tests. Ja—" I swallow dryly. "Him, h-he was there with me. Talk—talking to me. Comforting me."

A shiver wracks my body and I curl forward on myself. "C—can't stop — re-remembering. It's hurting me. It hurts."

"Which one feels worse?" Riven asks. "Ten?" He turns the knob. "Twenty? Thirty?"

"Ten percent hurts," I whisper. "Twenty hurts. Thirty, fourty, fifty — it hurts so badly. Make it stop."

"How? What do you want me to do to make it stop?"

"J—James," I finally croak. "Please don't — don't leave me. Don't leave me."

"I'm right here," he reminds me softly, though there's a grogginess in his voice. "You're with Raine, remember? Not back in the lab. Be careful, Eden."

"You seem to care a lot about James," Raine notes. "Do you need his help right now? He's the one from your … Exsphere, right?"

I shake my head, then nod. "N—No. He — he was with me on Earth … I-I don't really know," I admit. "He work—worked with Ri-Riven. Works," I correct myself. "He's nice. He didn't hurt me."

"How'd they hurt you, Eden?" Raine asks calmly. "What did they do?"

I blink through my tears, and James mumbles something reassuring to me. I swallow thickly. "They …" I tremble. "Ma-Mana."

"Mana?"

"T-To see — if it worked." I cup my hands around my mouth, attempting to count my breaths. "The system. Mana system."

Raine goes silent and I lean my head back, chest heaving in effort. "I'm — I-I'm so tired of re-remembering," I finally manage to sob. "It hurts. I wanna go ho—home."

"I know," she responds, "and I'm sorry. But while you're here, let me help you. What can I do?"

"I-I don't know," I whimper. "I don't know. I don't know."

Raine pauses, before asking, "May I take your hands?"

I nod, and she reaches out to take them in her own, running her thumb across the backs of my hands with her thumb. "As a young child, Genis used to have nightmares," she tells me. "I'd often do this to calm him down — it soothed him."

"It's alright that you're missing your home. It's natural." Raine doesn't force me to meet her eyes thankfully. "But for now, you are here with us. Does this happen often?"

I shake my head. "No …" I hesitate before admitting, "I've … I've just been — been having a lot of fla-flashbacks."

"Of what?" I don't respond, so Raine prods me gently, "Eden, you need to talk about this. It's unhealthy to keep it bottled up."

"I don't want to," I croak. "It's stupid."

Raine frowns, and I elaborate with, "I — hate crying." I look down at my hands; Raine's still holding them in her own, her thumb rubbing across the inside of my wrists now. "You—you've gone through bad stuff, too. A-And Genis. But — but you guys don't cry li-like me." I bite back a sob, my voice cracking as I admit, "I'm weak."

"No, you are not." Raine's voice is firm. "Listen to me, Eden; your situation is drastically different than my and Genis' and it's unfair to compare them."

I shake my head. "It — i-it's not. We're all from dif—different worlds, and — and we all can't go home." I blink rapidly, tears blurring my vision. "But he doesn't cry a-and neither do you. You guys don't ha-have panic attacks, and don't get scared of everything and—"

"Listen to me," Raine orders firmly, and I cut myself off. "You are not Genis. You are not me, and your situation is not the same as ours. Yes, we're both from different worlds that we can't return to; but Genis and I did not go through months of experimentation beforehand."

"So?" I bleat. "It—it doesn't matter or cha-change the fact that I'm—"

Raine flips my hands over. "Eden. Look at me."

I reluctantly do so, and the look in her eyes stuns me. "You are not weak. You are traumatized, which is understandable, but that does not make you weak."

I hiccup, the tears returning full force, and I pull my hands away so I can wipe them away; it's useless, though, because they just keep coming. Raine sighs again, but she doesn't reach out to me — and I'm thankful.

"Do you want to tell me about the flashbacks?" Raine begins again. "You don't have to, but I'd like to put the offer out for you; whenever you are ready."

I gasp out a heaving breath, dragging my legs to my chest and sinking back into the couch. "I—" I struggle to find words. "I don't — I'm—"

"If you're not ready," Raine begins, "then that's fine. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. But you cannot continue keeping this bottled up, Eden. You need to talk to someone; whether it's me, Sheena, Lloyd … but don't keep it in."

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "It-It's just —" I sniffle, rubbing my eyes harshly. "In … in the flashbacks, I'm — I'm back there." My voice raises slightly in panic. "And the—they're doing i-it again. I ca-can feel it. I can feel it, Raine."

"I can feel the Mana bursts … I can feel the ne-needles. I can feel — everything." My words are choppy and rushed, and I cup my hands behind my neck. "A-And when it's not that, it's just — I-I'll see Riven, or I'll be — be back when they were fi-fixing me."

Raine says nothing, and I spare her a nervous look. Her expression is hard to read. "Trauma is a difficult thing to tackle," she finally says, after a long pause. "Everyone deals with it differently; but you just need to remember that you're safe now, with us. No one in the group is going to let them take you again."

"The tests are over," she says in an attempt to soothe me, "and now you're here. Not there."

"But—but what if I get back home and they take me again?" I stammer. "If I get home and — a-and they do it again." I hug my knees to my chest and hide my face in them. "I don't think I could handle — handle it …"

Raine shakes her head. "There's nothing that I can do to reassure you on that account, because it's true; they could easily take you once you return home. But you need to think about it this way—why did they take you in the first place?"

I don't respond, and Raine leans back on the couch patiently. Finally, when it becomes clear that I have nothing else to say, she gets to her feet.

"Why don't you head back to sleep?" She suggests gently. "We have a long day tomorrow."

"I—… OK," I acquiesce. I've all but calmed down completely compared to earlier, thankfully. "I'm sorry for bothering you tonight, but … thank you."

She smiles lightly. "You don't need to thank me. Now, come on. I'll walk you back to your room."

"Our rooms are adjacent though …" I mumble as I get to my feet. "Was … was Presea asleep when you left? I—I didn't wake her, did I? Or did I wake you?"

"No." Raine heads up the stairs. "I was already awake, and Presea was asleep when I left the room. There's nothing to worry about."

I sigh in relief. "I'm glad." We reach my room and I hesitate, my hand resting on the knob. "You …" I swallow dryly, "you won't … tell anyone, right?"

"Of course," Raine replies. "If you don't want me to then I won't."

"Thank you. … Night, Professor."

"Goodnight, Eden."

The next morning Raine catches me after breakfast after everyone has split up. "How are you feeling?" She asks lightly. "Did you manage to fall back asleep?"

I rub my arm. "Yeah … I did," I reply. "Thanks for last night."

"It's not problem." Raine gives me a once over before nodding. "If you ever need support, Eden, I want you to realize that I'm here — and so is everyone else. You don't have to deal with this by yourself."

"I—yeah," I murmur. "It's just hard."

"You did it last night," she reminds me. "Was it as bad as you thought it'd be?"

I hesitate, before admitting, "No."

"We're your friends; trust us, alright?" She requests. "It won't always be this hard."

"I'll … I'll try," I manage. "Thank you, Professor."

Raine nods. We go our separate ways after that, with her heading to talk to Genis about something and me heading back to my room. Sheena is finishing putting her things away when I walk in.

We all meet up half-an-hour later downstairs after returning our keys, and it's as we're exiting the inn that Sheena admits, "Mizuho won't have found the Rheairds yet."

Lloyd turns to look at her. "It's still worth trying though, right? There has to be something we can do!"

"I'm not saying we can't head back," Sheena tells him. "I'm just saying that it's unlikely they'll have anything to tell us. It's only been a few days."

Lloyd groans, and I pat him on the shoulder before turning to Sheena. "There's probably gotta be something we'll have to do to actually use the Rheairds, right?" I hide my hands under my cloak as I suggest, "Volt, right?"

Sheena's expression flatlines, before it's quickly replaced by something more neutral. "Yeah … Volt."

I frown, and begin to say something only to stop myself at the last second. Within a minute we're already making our way out of the town and back into the forest — which is just as creepy as it is every time we've gone through so far.

We reach Mizuho quicker than usual, now that everyone is used to navigating the forest, and Sheena once again leaves us at her house while she goes to set up our meeting with the Vice Chief.

"Y'know, I don't think I can ever get used to this place," Lloyd admits from his spot next to me. "It's so cool looking, but also so different."

"It's a different culture," I remind him. "Isolated from the rest of Tethe'alla … so it makes sense it'll be different."

Lloyd shrugs. "I know. But still, it makes me want to learn more about it — I kind of want to try on those dress thingies they wear."

I blink. "You mean the kimono?"

"Is that what it's called?" he scratches his neck, leaning back against the wall of the house. "Yeah — it's just so cool looking!"

"Maybe if you ask Sheena she'll let you," I muse. "I've always wanted to try one too …"

Sheena returns a bit later; but rather than lead us to the chief she instead leads us inside her house, with an explanation of, "We can't meet with the Vice Chief right now; it'll be about an hour or two before he's free."

"That's fine," Raine replies. "Shall we make lunch, then? I wouldn't mind cooking."

Immediately everyone halts what they're doing; Genis scrambles for an excuse, and I blurt out, "Um — a-actually, Professor, can I cook today?"

Raine frowns. "I have a new recipe I'd like to try, though."

"Please?" I beg. "Since it's Mizuho, maybe Sheena can — um … um, she can teach me stuff! Right?"

Sheena blinks, looking startled for a brief moment before she catches onto what I'm doing. "Ah; yeah! I'd like to show Eden some Mizuhoan recipes, if that's alright."

"Well … alright," Raine relents. "I suppose that's fine."

There's a collective sigh of relief, though Zelos' expression is one of confusion. "Yo, bud." He motions to Lloyd. "What's up with anyone? Who cares if Raine cooks or not?"

"Eh … you don't want to know," Lloyd mumbles. "Just hope you never have to try her cooking."

Raine looks up at that and Lloyd immediately goes back to what he was doing, trying to look as innocuous as possible.

Sheena and I head into the kitchen with our rations, and she quickly goes about searching through them for specific things. "It's a good thing I grabbed rice the last time we came here," she says to herself. "We can make something simple like vegetable nimono and stir fried pork …"

"What's nimono?"

"Um—" Sheena frowns. "It's a simmered vegetable stew. Here—" she removes various vegetables, handing them off to me, before she heads towards the back door. "I'll be right back; start cutting those please."

I shrug, but do as she wishes. She returns a few minutes later with some other vegetables — most likely from the garden outside. "Try to make them more — uh … ran-giri," she struggles for a moment, before translating, "rough cut. Just — make them even, but diagonal. It'll cook better."

I put the carrots off to the side and start on the potatoes — and as I'm finishing Sheena pauses in cutting the mushrooms. "Here — peel the edges off. It'll keep the liquid from getting cloudy."

I frown, but attempt to replicate her action only to slide too hard and slice the inside of my thumb. I wince, immediately putting the potato down. Sheena winces. "Ah, sorry. That can happen at first. Go grab a bandage from the Professor and I'll finish this, alright?"

"Sure … sorry," I murmur. By the time I've returned the preparation is finished, and I glance down at the ones we have. I recognize the more obvious ones such as carrots, mushrooms, onion, bamboo shoot, and lotus root — but the last one stumps me.

"What is that?"

"Hm? Oh — kombu. It's used to make stock … I'm using instant stock for this," she admits, "since you're supposed to let it sit overnight, but I like the texture of kombu in nimono."

She removes a large, deep pot and places it on the burner before grabbing the oil and pouring it in. Once the pot is heated she says, "Put the onions in first — they need to cook for a bit longer."

I nod, grabbing the chunks between my hands and dumping them in. Sheena hands me a pair of cooking chopsticks, and I push them around a bit before simply waiting. There's a pot of boiling water on the adjacent burner and Sheena quickly takes it off, transferring it into another container.

"Potatoes and carrots next; just cook them a little. It'll make them more sweet." As she tells me this she begins to prepare the stock. I glance over at her as she does.

"What's the stock?" I ask, when she motions for me to add in the rest of the vegetables.

"Dashi; we'll add in the other ingredients after, since you want to have a clear broth before." I move over as she approaches, and she dumps the stock into the pot.

Sheena does the rest of the preparation, though she tells me what she's doing and allows me to watch.

As we wait I crouch down, leaning back against the counter with a sigh. "Can I ask a question?"

"Hm?"

"What does, um … f-fuku touuyou?" I stumble over the word. "Or whatever you call the Vice Chief when you see him mean?"

"Fuku Touryou," she corrects. "Literally, it means something like substitute leader or substitute boss, but Vice Chief is a better translation."

"How do you write it?" I pause, before elaborating, "Not the hiragana, but the kanji. Can you show me?"

Sheena smiles in amusement. "It's pretty advanced kanji. You're still working on the simple ones, Eden."

"I know, but …" I sigh. "I don't know. I wanna know anyways. Though if it's too much trouble you don't have to."

"It's not any trouble," she reassures. "I don't mind. Now, let's start on the other dishes while we wait."

Forty minutes later we're all eating, with everyone once again trying to use chopsticks. I watch in amusement as Lloyd continues to try and fail, though he is getting better just slightly.

Despite watching Sheena cook, my appetite is still completely gone — and the food tastes like nothing as I eat it, much to my dread. The nausea creeps forward again and I clench my hands into fists, struggling against the urge to throw up.

"Eden …" James says softly, "this is really something you should be talking to Raine about. She's a medic, and if you're sick—"

'—James,'I interrupt, 'I don't think I'm getting sick.'

I shove another piece of carrot into my mouth, chewing thoughtlessly and swallowing as soon as I can. No taste. No texture, a brief and uncomfortable aftertaste of ash.

'I think … I made a mistake,' I tell him. I force more food down despite the ever growing nausea. I'm only a quarter of the way through my food. 'With the Exsphere.'

"… That's not much better," James replies. "Are you talking about—?"

I dip my head into an inconspicuous nod. '… Yeah. I … I'll talk about this later with you.'

"I really like this dish," Lloyd says through a mouthful of food. At least he has the decency to cover his mouth. "The vegetables are really good!"

"I agree." Genis nods. "You guys did a really good job."

I don't hear Sheena's response, too focused on finishing at least half of my food so I can leave — and once I reach it I stretch, leaning back onto my hands.

"I'm full," I tell Raine. "Do you mind if I head out for a walk?"

Raine frowns, sparing a glance at my food, before reluctantly agreeing. "Though," she starts, "it's up to Sheena if you can walk around."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, that's fine," the ninja agrees. "Just stay away from the Chief's house, alright?"

"Alright. Thanks."

Considering it was warmer when we got here than usual I leave my cloak in Sheena's house, simply sliding my boots back on and heading out into Mizuho. Considering how much larger it is than shown in the game I try to keep to the main path. A few people send me odd looks — probably because of my clothing — but I do my best to ignore them.

The path leads me, eventually, to a graveyard. It's empty at the moment, and I linger around for a few minutes before heading behind them and further away.

When I've reached one of the walls I finally relax, sliding down against the stone and letting my forehead rest again my knees. "I think … my Exsphere is trying to turn me into Presea," I tell James, my words coming out slow. "Or … not turn me into her, but … like her."

James takes a moment to respond. "If what the dwarf said is correct … there's probably not a lot you can do except get a new key crest. But, to be honest, I don't know how it would react with your current one."

A lump forms in my throat. "Could it … would it kill me?"

"It might," James responds. "I don't know. We've never tested it — you were the first one to react in a semi-positive way to this method. The others who we tried to test it on didn't …"

He trails off, but I'm able to get the gist of it. A shiver runs down my spine. "So even now? After I've left … has anyone else … y'know, succeeded?"

"I don't know," he admits. "I deal with you, which is why I knew you were the first to succeed. They've kept me far away from all of that since."

"Is it wrong that I really don't want anyone else to succeed?" I sigh, rubbing my eyes tiredly. "I mean, sure … it saved my life, I guess, but … I wouldn't want anyone else to be stuck here. Especially for such a … a bad reason."

My voice cracks a bit at the end, but I'm able to hold it steady for the most part. "I wish I wasn't here," I whisper. "I wish I was at home."

"I know … I know. I'm sorry, Eden."

"It feels so far away. I feel like I'll never get home." I drag my knees closer to my chest, blinking tiredly. "It's endless. And if the Exsphere succeeds with what it wants to do—"

"You should really tell them," James tells me. "Sure, you can hide it now by saying you're not feeling well, but what about when the other side effects start to kick in? I mean, you're sitting out in the cold in a sleeveless jumper."

I blink. "But it's not …" my eyes widen. "It's December."

"Exactly," James stresses. "You can still feel some cold, right? But it doesn't feel as strong as it should. This is serious — it's only going to get worse from here on, and if you don't let them know—"

"I—I might really be fine, though," I argue hastily. "Really. I mean — maybe—maybe I'm just really getting sick. That's possible, right? W-When people get sick they feel warmer than usual and — and their taste buds get dulled and—"

"Eden, please," James begs. "I know you hate to rely on others, but this isn't something you can do on your own."

"But … I don't even know if I can do anything to fix it," I argue weakly. "And I — I can still cry. Colette … the way she lost her senses was taste, her ability to cry, sensitivity, voice, and then soul, right? But I'm going in a different order — so … so maybe it really is nothing."

"I don't know," he argues. "It might be different for everyone; it's not like we have another person to ask. But you really need to consider telling everyone."

I shake my head. "I can't … I can't. Because we don't know what'll happen if another key crest is put on top of mine, and it's not like I can just — just remove it. If I tell them then they'll all worry … and there's nothing that they can do. It's not fair to them."

James is silent for a long moment, and I wonder for a moment if he's cut the connection only to feel it flare up as usual. "I can't make you do anything," he finally relents. "But I'm just telling you what I think. At least consider it."

"If … if it gets worse, I will," I decide. "But it could be a fluke. I could be overreacting. I probably am, anyways."

"Very well." James sighs. "But please, be careful Eden. I don't want to lose you too."

"Too? Are there others you've … helped, then?"

James pauses. Then, he admits, "No … I've never helped anyone else. You're the first. But … I've lost family, Eden, and at this point you might as well be family to me."

I make a face. "Like … a daughter?"

James laughs. "Definitely not. But … maybe like a sister, I suppose. I … had a sister, she'd be around your age now."

"… Did she die?" I ask, after a moment of hesitation. "I'm sorry if that's too personal … you don't have to answer."

James exhales heavily. "No, it's alright. I don't mind; it was years ago. She was in an accident, and it took her from me and my family."

I hug my knees tighter. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't need pity," James says with a tint of roughness. "I'm not telling you this for pity. But I just want you to take care of yourself, alright? You have family waiting for you, and you have your friends here as well."

I swallow a lump in my throat. "Y-Yeah." I sigh to myself, before getting up. "I guess I should head back before they get suspicious."

"Good idea." I dust myself off, beginning to retrace my steps back to Sheena's house. "Just remember what I said, alright?"

"… Alright," I agree.

A/N: Eh. I have excuses for this being late, but you've all seen them before so there's no real point in me repeating them again. But it's summer now so I'll be trying to update more quickly. Plus, I'm doing quite a bit better now than I've been in the last seven months, so that's something.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, thanks for reading!

Please review! I love to hear feedback on what you thought, liked, or disliked.