Chapter 35
Severus heard her moan in response to his words. He'd known she was lying when she said she wanted nothing more, but her admission with that nod of her head and the moan that had just reached him comforted him. This was a dangerous game he was playing. He had never actively pursued a submissive who had said she was uninterested. He often felt the power dynamic made it unsuitable (although he knew that his thinking was ludicrous in the opinion of many other dominants). She must pursue him for him to feel comfortable, but he was not prepared to let Miss Granger walk away.
He seated himself quickly and looked at the door through which she must enter. He was going to keep his eyes on her, observe her every movement and reaction, and not give her a moment's reprieve from his gaze.
Miss Granger walked into the room with her eyes downcast and he wondered for a second if she might disobey and, if not sit on the furniture, perhaps choose to stand. Severus was relieved when she did neither. She got onto her knees with her eyes downcast (in respect? shame?).
"Thank you for sitting as requested," he intoned. He was going to make her explain her reluctance.
"Sir, I like sitting this way, and I love it when you sit up there. I did not mean to suggest that I would not want this sort of thing," she paused briefly before continuing, "I'd also like to continue following your instructions and, when possible, preparing your meals," she'd raised her eyes to speak and he was glad of the opportunity to observe her sincerity.
Severus was truly confused. If she liked all of these things, then what was the problem? He decided to make her explain. If he had to draw it out of her bit by bit, then so be it.
"Hmm well, I have to admit to a certain level of confusion. You seem to like submitting. You clearly are attracted to and sexually aroused by me. What precisely is the problem, Miss Granger?"
His blunt addressed clearly stumped her. She shifted a little and took her time before responding (presumably, preparing her answer), "It's the intimacy. I'm not interested in intimacy."
"Do you not think there is already intimacy in our interactions?"
"Well, yes. Of course. Intimacy is perhaps not specific enough. I'm not interested in sexual intimacy," she frowned and thinking again before she amended her statement, "I'm not interested in sexual activity."
If Severus hadn't been so focused on deciphering what the hell was going on here, he could have laughed. She was desperate for 'sexual activity' he could practically smell her arousal. He was calmer than he had been when she'd first denied him and now he was beginning to wonder what was going on. He wondered at himself. Severus could think of no time in his life when such apparent rejection hadn't hurt him. He'd never been so truly confident of himself. He knew his own strengths and shortcomings, but he could feel that this was something he should not let slip through his fingers.
"May I ask why not?" Severus replied, "Have I done something wrong? I desire you, Miss Granger. I had planned to pursue you. If this is not of interest to you, I would like to understand. I have clearly misjudged the situation and would not like to make the same mistake in future." He was being intentionally provocative.
"No, Sir. You've done nothing wrong. It's me!"
"Explain it to me, Miss Granger. Explain it in plain English so that I might understand," he kept his voice calm in contrast to her rash exclamation. He knew he was beginning to get to the route of it.
"Sir, I can't… I can't be with you sexually. I cannot have that sort of relationship," she said it pathetically, with slumped shoulders. Her words were telling. She'd changed from claiming a lack of interest to an inability. She'd also hinted that it was a general lack of ability and not specific to him.
"Why not?" He needed to probe firmly. He wanted this woman and was prepared to work for her.
"I- I – please, Sir. Don't make me say it," she was begging for mercy. He couldn't give it to her until she explained, but perhaps he could help her.
"Stand," he said, she did. "Come here. You will come to me, Miss Granger. You will place your knees on either side of my thighs and sit on my lap that way," he paused for a moment. She began to move instantly. She wanted to sit on his lap. When she got into position, and he was confronted with the visible evidence of her arousal (flushed face, panting, shaking) he felt himself hardening. He made no attempt to conceal it and looked directly into her eyes.
"I can see you are aroused. You are in need of sexual fulfilment. You can feel the evidence of my arousal between your legs," he thrust his hips slightly to make his point and she moaned and ground down onto his cock. "Do not move." He bit out the words.
He gave himself 20 seconds before continuing, "We are therefore compatible physically among so many other ways – even more ways than you may be aware of. I need to know why you can't, Miss Granger. I am of the opinion that we would make each other happy, provide fulfilment for each other in a number of areas. Why are you denying this?"
"I'm not good enough, Sir. I'm scared that if we… if we… then you won't want," she was shaking again and he knew she was fighting the urge to grind onto his cock. She placed her hands on his shoulders and began clutching it. In a surreal moment, he wondered if the clutching of her fingers was echoing the clutching of her desperate pussy. He fought the sexual need and refocused himself.
"You are more than enough. I want you and I will want you. You cannot deter me," he argued.
"I can't, Sir. I've never had…"
Severus was stunned. This wanton goddess was untouched? This was the problem?
"I do not expect anything that you do not wish to give. If you're a virgin, Miss Granger, it's not a negative thing. Things can progress slowly, if you wish. In fact, I will not touch you until you beg me to," he felt this should settle the matter, but was disappointed when she shook her head.
"It's not that. I am a virgin, Sir, but it's not that. I've never had… I'm unable to… that is to say… I'm physically incapable of reaching orgasm," her head fell in shame.
Hermione felt sick with shame. She couldn't believe she'd told him, but he wouldn't give in. She couldn't have him thinking he'd done something wrong and she could not deny attraction when he was right there, between her legs, driving her wild.
He lent forward so that his lips brushed her left ear, "Miss Granger, I will show you pleasure you've never even imagined. If you are correct, then I can still please you in other ways, but I hope to prove you wrong," his words were shocking to her, "I want you."
She ground down onto his cock once again at his words and groaned. She had no idea what she was doing, but knew that her body was screaming for contact. His fingers gripped her hips, stilling her.
"I told you not to move, Miss Granger," came his voice, "Now I believe we have come to an important point in the conversation. Would you like to pursue a liaison with me?"
"Yes, Sir, please!" She raised her eyes to his as she spoke. Hermione desperately wanted him.
"Then there are a few things you must be made aware of. You will not disobey me, Miss Granger. If you disobey, it will result in punishment. Punishment of my choosing," she watched as his lips wrapped around each syllable. "Stand up and step back from me. Three full paces."
Every impulse she had was telling her to get closer to him, stepping back now was punishment indeed. She did as she was told.
"You understand, Miss Granger, that I am in charge here. In this room, in this liaison, you do as you are told. However, if anything is not to your liking you will say a word. If you utter the word, I will cease any and all actions immediately. It is not to be used lightly, but it will always be yours to use. Choose your safe word, Miss Granger."
"I trust you, Sir. I don't need that," Hermione protested. He'd never hurt her or do something she didn't want.
"Nevertheless, you will have a safe word. During interactions between a Dominant and a submissive, there may be times when the submissive would like to use the words no or stop when she doesn't truly wish to end proceedings. It is therefore necessary to have an alternative way of communicating her wish to terminate activity. Now, choose your word."
"I understand, Sir. I choose the word 'pandora'. Is it suitable?" She hoped it didn't sound stupid.
"Yes, Miss Granger, it's suitable," his face relaxed once again. "Now you have a choice. You may go about your day and come here this evening for a legilimacy tutorial or you may remove your robe, get back on your knees and prepare to please me for precisely 30 minutes. After the time has lapsed, you will leave and go about your day, returning this evening for a legilimacy tutorial."
"Please let me please you Sir," she rushed out the words as she fell to her knees and tore her robe away from her body.
"Good girl," he murmured as he stood and walked towards her.