A/N: Usually the chapters are in sequential order, but this one backtracks a bit and ends at the same time as the last chapter did. Just to be clear.

Chapter 34: Headed for Trouble

"Should we try to move him?"

"How long do you think he'll be out?"

"I dunno."

"No way, he's too heavy."

"Hey, remember what Goomp said?"

"Yeah, that Bowser was all fat or something."

"Is it just me, or does he smell kinda grody?"

"Well, fatter."

"Liked singed hair?"

"I don't think he's fat."

"No."

"You didn't have to pull him out of there."

"Take a whiff, there's something funny about him."

"Ew, what are you doing?"

"He said the king smells."

"Urrrrrrr…" All the other voices fell silent as Bowser groaned, having been roused by the jumble of echoing voices all around him. Wincing painfully, he slowly slid his eyes open, finding himself lying on his belly and surrounded by Goombas and Shy Guys.

"Your Electrocutedness, you're awake!" grinned a nearby Shyguy.

"Rrrrrwwwhha- what happened?" asked Bowser, pushing himself onto his hands and knees.

"We found you lying in some sort of chamber," explained a Goomba.

"Alarms went off after we entered," added another one.

"We were just barely able to drag you out before the whole place was filled with lightning!" exclaimed a third Goomba.

"We figure that's what knocked you out – a shock from the security system," said a Shy Guy.

"Security system? …Electrocution?" Bowser raised a hand up to his throbbing forehead as he stood up. "…Yeah, that sounds kinda familiar… There was something else, too… Voices… Or, maybe it was just Chippy?"

The Koopa Troop members looked at each other sideways as Bowser shook his head to try and clear his mind out. There were rumours going about that the Koopa King was suffering from some kind of malady. Some of their company reported seeing Bowser talking to thin air, and they had heard as much from Goomp, Paraplonk and Sgt. Guy when they had met up with the trio early that morning. According to the oddballs, Bowser had spent the night stuck in the kitchen floor talking to himself, and while the troops weren't sure if that part of the story was true given the somewhat loony nature of its conveyors, there was no denying that the king had resoundingly failed to reclaim his castle the previous day. And then there were the stories of Bowser sucking living organisms into his hammerspace, which was not only implausible but impossible, and yet, kept being reported. It concerned his loyal troop members, and Bowser noticed the shadows of doubt creeping across their features.

"What's with the faces?" he scowled.

The troops jumped, beads of sweat forming on many a brow.

"Um... we…"

"Er, well…"

"You see…"

"ENOUGH!" Immediately the jumble of voices fell silent again, the Goombas and Shy Guys watching in stony fear as Bowser massaged his temples. "How long was I out for?" he wondered aloud. "You. What time is it?"

The Shy Guy Bowser was staring at squeaked in fear, but quickly answered his king. "Ih-ih-it's-s-s-Seven fifty-six, Your Badness."

"So, almost eight o'clock, huh? And it was sunrise when I fell in the cave… What time was sunrise?"

"Ummm, six-ish?" replied another Shy Guy tentatively.

"Hmmm," Bowser scrunched his brow. "I dunno how long it was until I met up with those Monty Moles… Less than an hour, so that means… Uhh…" Bowser snorted in frustration, throwing his arms up. "Well, whatever, at least I didn't sleep the whole morning away. Now let's get up to the surface – that Fawful freak's taken both my castle and my Princess Peach, and we are gonna get them both back!"

"Yes sir!" chorused the minions as Bowser started off towards the nearby stairs. He jumped up to the landing, snorting to himself at the shoddy half-finished job the Toads did – he always made sure his stairwells went all the way to the floor.

Speaking of construction, he looked back towards the hole he had excavated or the Monty Moles, but it was still clogged with fallen dirt. "Typical," he snorted to himself, "lazy minions…"

"Umm…" frowned the lead Goomba.

"Not you," said Bowser, rolling his eyes. "Although come to think of it, what have you lot done since yesterday?" He regretted asking the question almost as soon as it passed through his lips, for the nervous Goombas and Shy Guys immediately started chattering on and on about every menial, useless, little thing they did, hoping to make it sound like they had accomplished something – anything. Bowser merely rolled his eyes again and tuned it all out, grateful that it didn't take long for the group to find a Warp Pipe leading to the surface.

"Bwa ha ha! At least some people remember that I'm a force to be reckoned with!" grinned Bowser as he and his handful of minions were met with a crowd of screaming Toads. He looked around as they fled into the stores that dotted the hillside the Warp Pipe stuck out from; he remembered hearing from his spies that the Toads had been building some sort of marketplace or stripmall or whatever, and figured that's where they were. Pity it was still early in the morning – otherwise there surely would have been a larger crowd, but he was still happy with his reception. It was far better than the one he received back at his castle, that's for sure.

"Your orders, sire?" asked the Goomba at Bowser's side.

"Should we head back to your castle?" inquired the leader of the Shy Guy corps.

Bowser crossed his arms and shook his head. "No way! I spent all day yesterday walking over there, I don't want to do it again. Besides, stupid Fawful's using Mushroom Castle as his base." Bowser spat out a tiny lick of flame as he muttered to himself darkly. "Idiot doesn't know a thing about castle quality. Turing my glorious fortress into some stupid theater and using Peach's Castle as his base? The idiot…"Bowser sighed and straightened up. "Well anyway, it's off to Mushroom Castle we go. We'll clobber Fawful there and claim the castle as our own, along with Peach, and then we'll worry about my castle."

"Umm, S-Sire?" said a Shy Guy meekly as Bowser started to walk towards the nearest set of stairs.

"What?" growled the Koopa King, looking back over his shoulder.

"Um, we can't get to Mushroom Castle… at this time…"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Bowser turned and faced the quivering Shy Guy.

"Well, you see, we've been monitoring the castle, and a barrier went up all around it a short while ago. And there's a blockade across the moat. There's weird energy interfering with my radio signal, but my operatives say that it's impassable, the blockade."

"Oh really? We'll have to see about that. I'll break down whatever kooky invention Fawful's concocted, and then-"

"B-but it's not an invention," interrupted the Shy Guy, wincing as Bower's eyes flashed dangerously. He swallowed hard and continued. "Most of the signal was too garbled to make out the full report, but I think Fawful made some sort of announcement, probably to some Toads or something, and one of the things I could make out from my operative's conveyance of the speech was 'Dark Star'."

"'Dark Star'?" repeated Bowser thoughtfully, scrunching his brow. "I've heard that name before… It was a Star that went bad and almost destroyed the world, or something. Kamek told me about it once when we were trying to think of new ways to take over the Mushroom Kingdom… Gah, too bad he's not here."

Bowser frowned as he thought about his advisor. He had probably been captured and was being held somewhere. When Smithy invaded, Kamek had even gotten himself mind-washed, but he had studied up on hypnoses and other sorts of mental magic since then, and Bowser was sure he wouldn't be so easily broken if Fawful tried anything on him this time around.

Of course, if Kamek had come up against Cackletta, the story might have been different. Bowser was glad she was dead: the memory of how easily she had taken control of his mind, energy and body still made him shudder, and it still angered him to think she then used her living puppet to take control of the Koopa Troop and hypnotize Bowser's own children. Sometimes he wondered if things would have turned out different if Kamek hadn't happened to be on vacation to Koopa-knows-where that week (somewhere too far to come back early, yet close enough that Kamek had a very detailed account of what had happened in the Beanbean Kingdom while he was away, for some reason…).

But shaking his head, Bowser put those thoughts aside. Fawful wasn't Cackletta – no spirits would be controlling Bower this time. It was just him in his body. Well, him and Chippy, but she was on his side, so that was okay. She was even being quiet for a change: not a single lippy remark since Bowser woke up.

Shocking, thought Bowser to himself, before uncrossing his arms and sighing. "Well, if Fawful has this Dark Star thing, that just means we'll have to take that from him too. Come on, I still wanna see this 'impassable' blockade for myself." He then set off, the Goombs and Shy Guys in tow. Word had spread that there were Koopas in the mall, and the only Toads they met as they made their eastwards and up the hill were immobile Blorbed Toads. The Goombas eyed them warily, concerned that the disease could possibly be transmissible between the two sentient mushroom species.

Noticing the way his troops shied away from the swollen Toads, Bowser's moodiness worsened. Part of the reason he had tried to get in on the Blorbs meeting the day before was because Kamek and the other eggheads monitoring the situation across the border wondered if the disease could jump to Goombas. But Peach, Mario, Toadsworth and that Star thing didn't even give him a chance to point out how unreasonable they were being in excluding him. Hell, if they hadn't kicked him out, he wouldn't have run into Fawful, and he'd still have his castle and Peach would still be safe.

Bowser was still fuming about the whole thing even as his little group reached the top of the hill and the upper level of stores. Passing by a derelict Warp Pipe, Bowser couldn't help but vent some of his frustration with a derisive snort. "Psh, stupid Toads, too lazy to even remove broken down Warp Pipes. What kind of shoddy mall is this?" Bowser smirked to himself as he looked around. "It's not even a mall, really. Just a bunch of stores on a hill. Unconnected stores, and broken Pipes, and sick Toads. They don't even bother putting their nasty, diseased townies in the medical center – what, are they too weak to roll 'em up the hill?" Bowser looked back at the clinic next to the Warp Pipe, suddenly stopping dead in his tracks as a new idea came to his mind.

"Um, is something wrong, Your Angryness?" asked one of the Goombas timidly.

"Well, I was just thinking, we're here already – might as well see if the doctors will tell us anything about the Blorbs. I know you lot wanna know if you'll get sick too."

"Oh, that's very, er, considerate of you," said the Goomba in surprise.

Bowser snorted. "I don't want my minions getting sick is all. Those idiots at the castle wouldn't tell me anything yesterday, but there's no Star brats or Mario Bros. here to mess with me this time. I'll get us the scoop – just you watch me."

"Yeah! That's our King Bowser!" crowed the minions as their leader stomped over to the door. They knew an opportunity to suck-up when they saw one.

"Go get 'em!"

"Make 'em sing!"

"Bowser!"

"Bowser!"

"BOWSER!"