Cullen sat bolt upright in bed, drenched in cold sweat, chest heaving. It took him a moment to register that the pounding on the door was not a part of his nightmare.

Solana placed a hand on his arm. She was looking at him with bleary eyes, her hair a wild mess.

"Hold on!" he yelled.

Had he overslept? He fumbled for his breeches and was still tying them when he opened the door a crack to find one of Leliana's scouts outside. The grey light indicated it wasn't long after dawn.

"The Inquisitor requests your presence in the war room, Commander," the scout said crisply.

A meeting? This early? "What's this about?"

"He didn't say, ser."

It must have been urgent. Cullen's chest tightened. Had Corypheus made another move? Were they too late? Or was it the phylacteries? Had they been discovered? Stolen? Destroyed?

"I'll be a minute."

He closed the door in the man's face and grabbed for his clothes.

"What is it?" Solana asked.

"Meeting. He didn't say why."

"I'm coming too."

He thought of arguing, but he knew he'd lose and it would only waste valuable time. If the Inquisitor took issue with Solana's presence, then he'd have to dismiss her himself.

Cullen didn't bother with his usual morning grooming. He splashed his face in the basin and ran a comb through his hair. Solana didn't even do that much. She threw a robe on and twisted her wild hair into a tight bun, through which she slid a single wooden needle.

Cullen's heart was beating a frantic rhythm as they walked through Josephine's empty office. The rest of Skyhold was quiet. Whatever emergency had occurred, it hadn't been shared with the rest of the Inquisition yet. That only made Cullen more nervous.

He paused with his hand on the war room door and took a steadying breath before pushing it open.

The whole council wasn't present yet. A surge of relief rushed through him that he wasn't the last to arrive. Max was standing with his back to the door, outlined in the early morning light. Josephine was fidgeting next to him. She startled when Cullen opened the door.

But the relief was short-lived. Hawke was also there and as Cullen pushed the door further open, he realised he was talking to someone. Someone with long blond hair tied up in a messy bun and black feathered pauldrons, weathered by four years on the run.

"You," Cullen growled.

Anders turned his attention to Cullen and gave him a bright, if somewhat hesitant smile. "Long time no see. It's Commander now, isn't it?"

Blood roared in Cullen's ears. It took all of his training and discipline not to launch himself physically at the man.

Trevelyan cleared his throat. "As you see, we have a situation that I thought required your attention."

"A situation?" Anders's eyebrows shot up. "I don't know whether I should be flattered or scared."

Josephine stepped in. "With all due respect, you are a wanted criminal. Usually we would be happy to accept an offer of help from someone as accomplished as yourself, but -"

"- but many of your allies want me dead?" Anders finished for her.

He didn't wait for her to answer. He looked to the Inquisitor. "Hawke told me that you'd aligned yourselves with the rebel mages. If your allies have been so understanding about that, I don't see how I would be any different?"

"You blew up a chantry," Cullen snarled.

He heard an intake of breath from his side. "Anders?"

Solana must have only just recognised him. He was no longer the primped troublemaker of legend she'd known at the Circle. Now his stubble, tousled hair and hollow cheeks were much more reminiscent of the terrorist he'd grown into.

He smiled benignly. "Solana." He reached out, as if to take her hand, but Cullen stepped in front of her automatically and Anders dropped his arm and fidgeted. "Hawke told me you were here. I was surprised to learn you'd become the Hero… you were always so quiet." His eyes darted back to Cullen's face and he cleared his throat. "I must admit, when Hawke told me of your marriage I thought he was having me on. Last time Cullen and I spoke I believe it was 'mages cannot be our friends, they must always be watched'."

Shame heated Cullen's neck. He didn't want Solana to hear he'd once thought those things, and he knew that was exactly why Anders was repeating them.

Solana spoke before he could. "Oh, I'd say marrying me is a brilliant way to keep an eye on me. Why are you here?"

Her hand slipped into Cullen's and his heart beat a little faster. Usually he would think holding hands in a council meeting wildly inappropriate, but now that small reassurance meant everything.

Anders glanced at the Inquisitor, but Trevelyan nodded for him to answer Solana.

"Do you want the official answer or the honest one?"

"Give me both and I'll see which I prefer."

He chuckled. His eyes slid to Hawke. "I can see the resemblance already."

Hawke, Cullen noticed, seemed less than pleased. He wasn't glaring the way that Cullen was. But his face bore little expression and he had his arms folded across his chest.

"Alright," Anders said. "The official reason is that Hawke has been keeping me up to date on your Inquisition. You're saving the world, and I want to be a part of that. Well, Justice wants to be a part of that. I think I want that too."

"Talking about Justice probably isn't helping your case," Hawke advised softly.

"Right. Well. I'm a very skilled healer. I have other talents as well, but that's my specialty. I want to lend my skills to your cause." He shrugged.

"If our cause is so important to you, why only come now?" Solana queried."Hawke joined us months ago."

Cullen knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"In addition to being a superb healer, I am also a Grey Warden."

Solana didn't say anything for a moment. Silence hung thick in the room. Not even Josephine stepped in to ease it.

"Hawke failed to mention that," Solana said eventually. Her grip tightened on Cullen's hand as her eyes met her cousin's. The look burned and Cullen was grateful that for once he wasn't the subject of her shortened temper. "So when I told you about the Calling…"

Hawke nodded. "Yes, I had some idea what you must have been going through, but not why."

"Don't blame him," Anders said. "I never chose to be a Grey Warden and I left as soon as I could. I'm afraid I didn't pay much attention when they were explaining the side effects." He gave her a disarming smile. "Hawke had me locked in a room, under guard, while you were sorting it all out. Which would be why I didn't join sooner."

"I thought Aveline was still watching you," Hawke commented, again talking softly and with very little emotion. It was odd behaviour from him.

"Oh, she was," Anders's eyes seemed to sparkle with silent humour. "Unfortunately for her, I'm particularly adept at escaping." Then, with a glance at Trevelyan, "Another one of my skills."

Hawke covered his face with his hands.

"Don't worry," Anders assured him. "I sent her a message as soon as I was well away. And I didn't hurt her, if that's what you're concerned about. Although had we stayed in that house any longer I can't promise that would have remained the case."

"And the truth?" Solana asked.

Anders blinked at her.

"You said you'd tell me both the official reason and the truth," she reminded him. "That was the official version."

He looked to Hawke and Cullen thought maybe he was about to ask him something. Then he seemed to notice the posture, the way Hawke was not himself. Anders paused, his eyebrows drawing together, his eyes narrowing.

"I would think that should be obvious," he said, not to Solana but to Hawke.

"Anders…" Hawke's voice came from behind his hands. "We spoke about this."

"We spoke about a month, maybe two."

"And I told you my reasons for staying."

"All perfectly valid. Which is why I wouldn't have asked you to leave." He glanced up at Trevelyan. "So here I am. And I do wish to help. Fighting injustice is sort of my thing. Plus, you've aligned with both mages and Wardens. I don't wish to belabour the point, but I fit into both categories." His gaze shifted to Josephine. "I heard the story you crafted for the Wardens. You just happened to meet them at Adamant where they were attempting their own solution? And you peacefully agreed to align, did you? You're clearly quite skilled at weaving believable stories. I'm relatively certain I shouldn't provide too much of a challenge."

"You're a murderer," Cullen responded, before he could stop himself.

"And the other Wardens weren't?"

"The other Wardens thought they were doing the right thing."

"As did I! I only did what was necessary."

"Necessary? Slaughtering a hundred innocents in a big symbolic gesture, that's necessary?"

"Do you think your lovely wife would be here right now if it weren't for my symbolic gesture? She'd be locked in a tower somewhere. Your child would be raised as an orphan."

He didn't bother arguing, even though he knew that wasn't the case. No one would dare put the Hero of Ferelden in a Circle, even if she weren't a Warden herself. He turned instead to appeal to Trevelyan. "Inquisitor, surely you're not considering this? This man is dangerous. He's unpredictable. He's an abomination."

Anders lifted his hand. "Ah, technically not an abomination. Justice is a spirit, not a demon."

"It's all the same."

"It really isn't."

"Gentlemen," Trevelyan cut in. "Cullen, I do see your point, but Anders isn't wrong. We've hardly been picky about our allies up to this point."

No, he certainly hadn't. Trevelyan had accepted every single offer of help he'd received, even from those with clear ulterior motives. "Perhaps now is the time to begin," Cullen said stiffly. A tight ball of rage was growing in his chest. "Or are we going to start accepting aid from terrorists as a point of fact?"

"Commander, I've noted your thoughts."

Cullen forced himself to take a deep breath. He was bordering on insubordination.

"Josie, will you go get the others? I think we will need a full vote after all," Trevelyan said.

The ambassador nodded and swiftly left the room, no doubt relieved to be away from the growing tension. Once the door was closed, Trevelyan turned to Solana.

"Your thoughts?"

Cullen felt her stiffen. "I agree that we should be cautious of accepting anyone with a proven track record of destruction," she said. "However."

His heart started drumming again. No, no, no. Please, not you.

He felt her eyes on him, looking at him carefully before continuing. Could she see what her hesitation was doing to him?

"However," she repeated. "It would be hypocritical of me to tell everyone to forgive the other Wardens, other mages, and not offer that same benefit of the doubt where he's concerned. I'm sorry Cullen. The Inquisition does need strong allies."

He let go of her hand and folded his arms to wait for the rest of the council to arrive.

"I can't believe you did that," Cullen repeated again.

Solana was following after him as he marched towards the barracks. He couldn't even look at her.

"I can't just say what you want me to say! What do you want me to do, pretend to agree with you when I don't?"

The meeting had been a mess. It had gone on far too long. He'd stated his concerns again, for all the others to hear. He'd told them what Anders had done to Kirkwall. Cassandra had stood with him. Of course she had. She couldn't forgive the loss of a chantry, and she'd been elbow-deep in the war that Anders had started ever since.

Cullen had had high hopes for Leliana. Then Hawke had surprised everyone by saying that if Anders was forced to leave, he would leave too.

Even though Leliana didn't say so, Cullen was certain that's what had swayed her. Losing one potentially useful resource was inconvenient, losing two was unacceptable.

Morrigan, who seemed to have appointed herself to their council, voted he be allowed to join. Whether out of some apostate kinship or because she had some ulterior motive, Cullen didn't know.

Josephine had decided to remain neutral, which meant it was a hung vote. That is until Trevelyan had looked to Solana, the great Hero of Ferelden.

She had repeated what she'd said before. He deserved the benefit of the doubt the same as the other mages and Wardens.

Now Cullen spun to face her. "What do I want? I want you to choose to give me and my concerns the benefit of the doubt before a known terrorist!"

Solana started. He'd never been this angry with her. The only time she'd ever seen this side of him had been when she'd found him in Kinloch Hold Circle Tower and he'd been very nearly insane.

She didn't say anything. She was breathing heavily. There was no sign of the defiant fire in her eyes. They were wide and… frightened?

"I need… I need some time," he said, not trusting himself to say anything more. He turned back and continued his route to the barracks. She was wise enough not to follow.

Cullen had only been settled in his office for a few minutes before someone rapped on his door.

"What!"

It opened a crack, the recruit outside shifting nervously. Cullen sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "What is it?" he tried again.

"Its… well… it's your family, Commander. They've just arrived."

Solana pressed her back against the cold stone wall outside their room, trying to control her breathing. She quickly dabbed the corners of her eyes.

No, she scolded herself. Not now.

She'd never had much trouble controlling her emotions, but recently it was like being on a runaway stallion. Her frustration at Cullen at completely drained away now and left her only with a hollow sadness. She stood by what she'd said to the council. In the past few months she'd spoken with Hawke at length about Anders. He was more than just a terrorist. While she'd been camping in the mountains after the Blight, he'd been slaying darkspawn. And then he'd dedicated years of his life to helping refugees. Yes, what he'd done in Kirkwall had been bad. Terrible. And Hawke had said many times how he wished it had never come to that. But did that mean they should just dismiss him now? Lose both him and Hawke? Now? When they were so close to finally confronting Corypheus head on?

At first she'd been angry that Cullen had seen her vote as a personal betrayal.

But now her emotions had calmed, she knew it had been a personal betrayal, to him. She was the one who was supposed to stand at his side no matter what. Disagreeing about the future of mages behind closed doors was one thing. This had been something else.

And now she felt like her insides were covered in ice. Guilt tasted bitter at the back of her throat. She knew she needed to pull herself together. It had been a few minutes since the recruit had called her to go meet the Rutherfords.

To say it was bad timing would have been a vast understatement. She'd practically rolled out of bed into her robes for the council meeting, and the look on Cullen's face when he'd left...

When she had pictured this introduction to his family, she'd imagined him leading her forward with an arm around her and announcing her proudly. It wouldn't have mattered that she was heavy with a child they knew nothing about, and it wouldn't have mattered that she was a mage, because they would have seen how happy he was, how happy they were together. And even if they were doubtful about her, it wouldn't have mattered because he would would have been there to reassure her.

Now she had to go down there alone. Alone and weeping. And she was pretty certain he hated her.

Stop it. She cursed herself, brushing at her eyes again. Since when was she the type to cry? And why now of all times?

You've fought demons. You've walked in the Fade. Going down to the courtyard to meet your husband's family is not frightening.

She forced herself forward, onto the stairs. She could see a cluster of people down in the lower bailey beside a cart. A big cluster.

What if she just stayed in their room? Cullen probably wouldn't return until tonight. She could put this off until she was feeling better. Claim she was ill.

But then what if she came upon them by accident later in the day? That would be far worse. And dreading it would be far worse. Rather do this now. Get it behind her.

She paused again at the top of the second flight of stairs. A maudlin song drifted out of the tavern. Maker have you left me here… Now she could see individual people. Cullen was there already. A woman with wild blonde curls had him locked in a tight hug. There was a man standing a little behind her, beside a woman with a baby on her hip. The baby had a ruffle of yellow hair and its thumb in its mouth. Cullen pried himself free of the woman's grip to shake the man's hand. Then another woman darted around the cart, almost bowling Cullen over with another hug. She also had blonde hair, but it was straight and shining.

Solana clutched her stomach. She could do this. One step, then another. Slowly down the stairs. Just one at a time.

The woman with the curly hair was the first to spot her, over Cullen's shoulder. She said something and he turned. He'd been smiling, but the smile disappeared as soon as he saw Solana and something in her shattered.

Tears threatened again. No, no, no. He was coming towards her. You've already betrayed him today, you won't embarrass him by crying in front of his family.

The Rutherfords pulled together, staring at her with open curiosity. Another man came around the cart to join them, an in-law she supposed. Cullen reached out a hand for her. She took it hesitantly.

"This is my wife. Solana," he said to his siblings. His grip on her hand was firm, but there was no warmth in it. He pulled her forward gently, guiding her to them.

"And that is the other news you failed to mention in your letter, I presume?" the woman with the curls said with an arched eyebrow.

It was the first time Solana had felt insecure about her pregnancy, the first time she'd wanted to hide it.

"Yes," Cullen said. "I wasn't quite sure how to explain."

Solana wondered if an attack on Skyhold right this minute would really be so bad. A dragon, perhaps. Swooping down and burning the ramparts. Not hurting anyone, of course, but providing a distraction from the way they were all looking at her.

"Are you really the Hero of Ferelden?" the straight-haired girl asked.

Solana nodded. "That's what they like to call me."

She imagined she looked nothing like a hero right at that moment.

Cullen cleared his throat. "Sorry. This is Mia," he indicated the curly-haired one. "And this is Rosalie." The one with the straight hair. "And that's my brother Branson. I'm afraid I… I um.."

Mia stepped forward, offering Solana her hand. "What he's trying to say is that he can't introduce you to our spouses because he's never met them."

Solana freed her hand from Cullen's to shake Mia's, and in truth it was a relief. Mia introduced her husband, Jeremy, and her sister-in-law, Maralie, and the baby, Branson junior.

"Let me show you to your rooms," Cullen said. "Our ambassador insisted you take our guest wing."

"Isn't that for visiting dignitaries or something?" Rosalie wanted to know as they started walking.

Cullen smiled a little at that. "Indeed it is. You'll have to be on best behaviour."

She punched him in the arm, her fist clanging against his armour. "Ow!"

He laughed and the sound of it would have made Solana feel a little better, if he hadn't still been avoiding looking at her.