The Banana Slug: Batman and Robin have a funny little relationship, it's like a married couple…but they aren't having sex.
Batman is off making hot adult love with Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Talia al Ghul and other different femme fetales, and Robin is having awkward teen sex with Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown…good for them.
But like all relationships, it has it's ups…and massive hell-level downs. This is one of them…
You Got BatRolled!
By The Banana Slug
CHAPTER 35: Couple's Therapy
Batman and Robin Need Therapy
In the bathroom of the Wayne Manor, Alfred sits on the toilet as he reads the "Weekly World News", trying to drown out the noise of Batman and Robin arguing loudly throughout the house. He groaned when the sound of breaking glass was heard, he knew it was time to stop sitting on his ass and do something.
So, he pulled his pants up and walked out the bathroom, without wiping apparently. Outside the bathroom in the main hall was Batman and Robin, arguing loudly to the point of screaming.
"It's always you! YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU! It's never about me! Is it!" screamed Robin with anger as Batman stood there, chuckling.
"You say I am egocentric? And you are the one talking about it's never about you?" scoffed Batman like a dick, "Damn, Robin, you're pathetic."
"I'm pathetic? I'M THE PATHETIC ONE!" roared Robin as he swung his arms around, "You constantly put me down every time, never letting me get the glory of a victory because YOU are afraid!"
"The Batman is not afraid, Rubbin'. Nothing scares the Batman!" growled Batman in anger, because he's Batman.
"Why do you keep saying your name?" hissed Robin with scorn, "Are you retarded? Are you Yoda or some-" And then, Batman grabbed Robin by the collar, glaring at Robin's nervous face as his teeth bared from anger.
"Yoda. Doesn't. Do that!" he growled out with hate, "You can never do ANYTHING right!" With that, Alfred walked to both of them and swiped them both in the face, sending them both into the wall with tremendous force. I never knew Alfred was a meta-human, I'm surprised. Then again, he works out a lot.
"Enough! Enough!" berated Alfred in quite a tiff, "Look at yourselves! You're scaring Batgirl!" He pointed over at Batgirl, who was huddling over at the corner, crying softly as she held a teddy bear close to her chest…awwwww…
Batman sighed and said, "Sorry, Alfred, it's just that some of us think their unappreciated around here for doing absolutely nothing."
"Yeah?" growled out an angry Robin, "Well, some of us here think that they are the center of the entire universe because their parents are-"
"Don't…go…THERE!" growled an intensely angry Batman, grinding his teeth roughly. Robin had the most frightened expression as he closed his mouth in shock. We all know badmouthing Batman's parents is a no-no.
"Listen, I do believe this has escalated to an extreme level," sighed a tired Alfred, "I think you two need to seek expert help, you two need therapy…couple's therapy."
"WHAT!" shouted both of the vigilantes, shocked at what Alfred is insinuating.
"It is either couples therapy, or I will give you both a right good thrashing," threatened a calm and stoic Alfred, "Are. We. Clear?"
Batman and Robin both glared at each other, then looked at Alfred, then nodded. And then Alfred nodded, who nodded to Batgirl, who nodded back.
Then Steve Bino came out of the kitchen holding a bat-cake, he nodded as well.
THE NEXT DAY
The Batmobile parked in the parking lot in front a large white square building…after running over two SUVs and a Hummer. Batman firmly believes that we don't need neither.
Batman and Robin hopped out the Batmobile, and gave each other a sour look before stomping over at the building with as much distance between the two, which was a bad thing since they both accidentally walked through the wall, blind with their anger.
The two strolled down the hallways, stomping in front of a door that said, "Dr. Elliot."
Batman gave an annoyed groan in misery, "What are the odds?" With a growl of frustration, he twisted the knob, revealing a disturbing sight to both Batman and Robin.
It was an operating room, with Hush operating on a dazed person, his chest open as Hush was pulling out organs left and right. Hush looked over at the dysfunctional duo, then calling out, "You got the wrong place, man."
"Uh, sorry," let out a disturbed Batman, and as he closed the door, he said quickly, "I'll arrest you later!"
The two looked over to the other room, which read "Dr. Hugo Strange". This caused Batman to groan even louder in disturbed rage.
"You always overreact Batman!" sternly pointed out Robin.
"Hugo Strange is a bald little troll that wants to ruin me and is also Gendo Ikari's secret father!" growled Batman, "If you are at all a good sidekick like Dick, then you'd believe me!"
"Stop comparing me to Dick!" growled an angered Robin as the two walked into the room. In the room was Hugo Strange, sitting in a circle of chairs along with other members of Couple's Therapy.
There was Joker and Harley, The Ventriloquist and Scarface, Killer Croc and Baby Doll, and Two-Face. "Oh, well, please come in," greeted Hugo Strange, keeping in an amused laugh at the prospect of Batman and Robin in Couple's Therapy.
The two begrudgingly sat down, not looking at each other as the others snickered at them over in Couple's Therapy. It just reminds people of that little ol' rumor.
"Now, let us introduce us to ourselves and ask what brought us here," announced Hugo Strange, "How about our friends from NAMBLA start first." More giggles were heard as Batman and Robin both growled with unamusement.
The two got up and Batman said aloud, "I am Batman, and this ungrateful sack is Robin. I have no problems, Robin just thinks that he is unappreciated…that is not true. You have to actually do something to be unappreciated."
"Maybe I wouldn't be seen as such if you let me DO something!" grumbled a spiteful Robin.
"Because you'd screw it up!" argued Batman, "I tell you to get rid of the canister of Joker Venom, and you threw it into the dump! I was the one who had to rummage through crap to find the-"
"Okay, thanks for the update, Victor Salva," Strange sighed at Batman, shaking his head as he turned to Joker and Harley, "Now, tell me, what brought you two here?"
Harley looked around nervously, with a bandage over her nose and a black-eye on her face as she twiddled her fingers and her feet cross together. Joker just sat there lazily, his back slouched against the chair as his long feet arched, smoking a cig like a lazy boss.
"Weeell," let out a nervous Harley Quinn, then looking over at Joker bashfully. Joker sighed and flicked his cigarette away, taking a deep breath before explaining the problem.
"You see, doc, the problem is simply this, I am losing my love for the poor girl. I don't know why, but when I look at her, I see a big regret. Hell! I don't even want to have hot dirty sex with her and she has the cutest little ass in the world! I do believe you can see a prob with this, eh?"
"Correct, but, what about the black-eye and her broken nose?" inquired Hugo Strange with a nod of his head.
"Oh, that's not new," said the Joker with a shrug, Harley nodded with agreement. Everyone just rolled their eyes with annoyance.
"Okay, now, how about…you two," said Hugo, pointing his pen at the Ventriloquist and Scarface. Ventriloquist shivered with terror as Scarface sat on his lap, looking into the abyss with a deep darkness.
"Oh, well, It's just that…" let out Wesker as Scarface was looking at the man, "Well, my boss has been very aggressive lately, more aggressive than normal. He seems to be getting angered by the simplest provocations. I don't know what to do anymore!"
"Wait…this isn't the North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes!" shouted an enraged Scarface, swinging his little wooden hands around, "You lied to me!"
"I had to, Mr. Scarface!" whimpered Arnold as Scarface pressed his face closer, "You wouldn't be here if I told you the truth!"
"I outta shove a racoons down that throat'a yours, you weasel!" screamed an enraged Scarface, "I wuzza shoe-in for that Godfather Talent Show!"
"Now, now, you may kill Wesker later, Mr. Scarface," called out Hugo Strange, "But if I get one more death in my office, I will have to pay a heavy fine and go back to night school…I will not go back to night school for you, Scarface. Now, sit down or I will throw my termites at you."
Scarface gave him a glare, then sat back down, grumbling as Arnold Wesker whimpered with fear. Hugo gave a deep breath and turned to Killer Croc and Babydoll, "Now, tell us why you two are here."
"I'd be happy too," sighed a miserable Baby Doll as Killer Croc sat at his chair with a great level of embarrassment. Baby Doll then explained with great sadness, "We are in a relationship for two weeks, but he treats me so…unfairly. He won't look at me, he sometimes doesn't acknowledge me…I try to be sexy for him, but he looks at me with one emotion: disgust!"
"Oh god," groaned an uncomfortable Killer Croc, slapping his forehead.
"What is it? Why aren't you attracted to me?" questioned Baby Doll with tears in her eyes, "What do I have to do? Wear lingerie? Talk dirty? Go to town on myself as you watch from the window? I'll do it!" Killer Croc nearly barfed at those examples of creepy.
"Miss Dahl, please, I just had lunch," groaned a nauseous Hugo Strange, then turning to the final patron of today, "Now…Mr. Dent…what is your problem?
Two-Face sat there, annoyed and angered, with his arms crossed and staring at the floor. "I just…can't get along with myself…"
There was a great pause between the group, broken when the Joker began laughing hysterically at that. Everyone stared at him as he giggled and guffawed, falling on the floor in uncontrollable hilarity.
STEP - 1
All of them sat in a row as Hugo sat in a chair in front of them, holding a bunch of large white cards in his hands. "Now, I am going to show you some inkblots, and I want you to tell me what you see. Batman, you may go first."
And so, Hugo flipped the cards to reveal a inkblot. Hugo then asked the Dark Knight, "Can you tell us what you-"
"A bat," he replied quickly. Hugo looked at him with distaste
"…Robin, tell us what you see," continued Hugo Strange, showing off a different inkblot.
"I see a man's son, who feels pretty unappreciated by his father, and even though he loves him, he wishes for respect," responded Robin with a frown as he nodded.
Batman chuckled at his answer. "A bat's cooler," he added, with Robin giving him a dark glare.
"Harley, what do you see?" asked Hugo, holding out the new card.
"I see a place filled with flowers, and rainbows, and kangaroos," rambled Harley happily, "And muffins, and chocolate, and trees, and interacial gang-bangs, and-"
"Harley! We'll be here all day!" shouted Joker angrily, then yelling out happily, "Me next! Me next!"
"Okay then," let out Hugo, pulling out another inkblot, "What do you see, Joker?"
"Batman laying on the floor with his throat slit," said the Joker grimly, "Or maybe the remnants of a sensually-pleasured elephant, I can never tell these days."
"…I see…don't know what to make of that," let out a confused Hugo.
"What is the point of all this?" growled Two-Face, "This is crap! I came here to settle with my other-side, not look at what I see in my goddamn hanky!"
"SHUT UP!" yelled Hugo Strange, "I am the goddamn psychologist around her Pizza-Face! And if you don't like it, you can kiss the tip of my bald head! Hear me? I am the mastermind! You! Are! Harvey Dent! Dumb-Face Incorporated! Now shut up!" Two-Face was promptly shutted up.
Hugo took a deep breath and turned to Baby Doll and Killer Croc. "Now, Miss Dahl, what do you see here?"
Baby Doll took a deep look and said with sorrow, "I see a poor woman trying to satisfy her boyfriend, doing anything to make her man happy."
Hugo then turned to Killer Croc, who was quite put off by her comment. Killer Croc took a deep breath, and said, "I see me labeled as a sex offender. And I don't want that kind of crime, thank you very much."
Baby Doll growled with annoyance, stamping her foot on the floor in anger. Joker let out a giggle at her misfortune.
Hugo smiled and turned it to Scarface as he chattered his teeth, showing him an inkblot with a calm smile. "What do you see, puppet?"
"…I see an inkblot," replied Scarface as he studied the blot, "It has a pattern of some strange meaning, with four goin' off like an X. Along with those, it is pretty wavy between them and-"
"Uh, Scarface sir, you're suppose to think of what the image puts in your mind," added Ventriloquist, only to be slapped in the face by a wooden backhand and silenced after a beaten whimper.
"Shut up, ya testa di merda!" yelled Scarface angrily, "I know what an inkblot is and what it isn't! I read Watchmen!"
"Watchmen was a book?" whimpered Ventriloquist in confusion.
"Vaffanculo!" yelled an enraged Scarface, swinging his arms around, "If ya say one more stupid thing, I'll wring your neck in! Capiche?"
"How about we go to, uh, Step Two," interrupted Hugo Strange, chuckling nervously as he wipes his brow with a hanky.
STEP - 2
"Now, our next step is…Shout Therapy," said Hugo Strange as the group was at the edge of a cliff, "You will be shouting your troubles out into the sky, having all to hear your problems and releasing all that misery from your bowels."
"I think you are going to push me off the cliff while I'm not looking, that's what I think," growled Batman.
"Tempting, but this is just too much fun," replied Hugo Strange calmly, "Now, who would like to go first? Harvey?"
Two-Face then flipped his coin, letting it hit his palm, looked at it, then said, "Nope."
"…So you are not participating?" groaned out an annoyed Hugo Strange.
"Yep," replied Two-Face.
"…Can I please have the coin?" asked Hugo as he held out his hand.
"Pfft! Like I'd fall for that again!" scoffed Two-Face with high levels of being amused, "Last time that happened they gave me cards instead and I ended up pissing myself…STOP LAUGHING JOKER!"
"I'll go first!" growled Killer Croc, pushing the giggling Joker away as he walked over to the rock, standing there as the wind blew against the scales of the beast.
He took a deep deep breath, then yelling out into the skies with the force of a thousand angry dragons, "I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE!" He took one final breath and walked away satisfied next to the greatly annoyed Babydoll.
She growled deeply and stomped over to the cliff, yelling out, "Screwing me will not make you a pedophile!"
"Are you prepared to explain it too millions of onlookers?" growled out Killer Croc. He was then hit on the head by Hugo Strange's ruler, causing the beast to growl in annoyance.
"No! No talking to each other! Does not help!" he berated, then turning to the Dark Knight, "How about you, Batman? Would you like to try?"
"Remember, I have a flying cape in case you decide to push me, baldy," growled Batman as he walked past Hugo and stood on the cliff.
In a very expected way, the Dark Knight lifted his cape up and yelled into the sky, "I AM THE BATMAN! MY PARENTS ARE DEAD! WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME! WHERE IS SHE! CRIME! DEATH! RAGE OF A BEAST! YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK ME! I AM BATMAN!" He then turned away from said cliff and walked back to the cliff, everyone was disturbed by the Batman's strange rambling shout-fest.
"What…the hell…was that?" let out a curfuddled Strange.
"…I work in mysterious ways," growled the Batman, putting the cape to his face. Robin simply rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Robin?" implored Hugo Strange to the Boy Wonder, only to be shoved by the rambunctious Scarface and the timid Arnold Wesker being tagged along against his own free will.
"Alright! I gots some things to shout out!" growled Scarface rudely.
"Mr. Scarface, Robin was suppose to go next!" pointed out Arnold nervously.
"Hey! Did I ask you to butt in so rudely like ya did?" growled an antagonistic Scarface, glaring at Wesker dead in the face, "I do what I wants and you are the Goombah that does what I say before I smack you a new one! Now shut up so that I can shout out at the sky!"
Arnold had his eyes shut tight, shaking and sweating, before baring his teeth and shouting to the heaven's like the great mighty Caesar, king of apes, did before him.
"NNNO!" he yelled out with a great echo, leaving everyone speechless as he glared at the motionless puppet in his hand.
Wesker took one deep breath, and soon began to lay into his 'master' with, "Listen here, you, you, you Goomboh! I have had it up to here! Up to…here! With you and your insults! You constantly put me down even though I follow through with every one of your schemes! Why did I do this, you ask? Because I thought we were friend! Because I thought that we'd share this empire of crime together! Because I thought you'd actually listen to me! And y'know what? I! WAS! WRONG!"
Getting furious, Wesker grabbed Scarface by the collar and lifted him up. "You'll never get it past that wooden block for a head that you ain't the center of the universe! And why would you think that at all to begin with? You can't walk, you can't fight, you can't even shoot a gun unless it is some stupid, uh, gavolt? I think…yeah, a stupid gavolt like me to hold your arms and pull the trigger! But still! I am still second best! No! Not second best! Third! Fourth! Two-Hundredth! You know what? I'M TIRED OF IT! When you can actually treat me with respect like you should, you can call me! No wait! Ya can't! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT ME!"
And with that last outburst, Arnold chucked the dummy off the cliff as he watched it fly down into the lake below, sinking into the depths as Scarface disappeared into the dark waters.
Arnold looked down the cliff with shock and terror, trembling horribly. "Scarface! Oh god, what have I done! I killed him!" he sobbed out, crying heavily, "I…I never meant to…"
With that, he took one quick leap and dived down the cliff as he shouted, "Don't worry Boss! I'll save you!" The group watched him fall into the waters, swimming around looking for his boss he can't live without.
"Pfft, all bark and no bite," groaned the Joker. Everyone nodded with his statement, except Two-Face. The coin said no nodding.
STEP - 3
"And now, it is time for Step Five," announced Hugo Strange as the group was all situated back in the therapy room, sitting in their circle of chairs.
"Three, Strange," growled Batman with hate. He did not want Hugo to make Monty Python jokes, they were too good for him.
"Oh yes," sighed Hugo pleasantly, "We call this session…roleplaying."
"Oh goodie!" hissed Joker pleasantly, "Me, Two-Face, Killer Croc, and Batman will be a savage yet lonely squadron of Horny Uruk-hai and Harley and Robin can be a pair of incestuous Elf siblings that are our naughty sex slaves with Hugo Strange being our leader and orchestrator of this little gang-bang, Saruman…Babydoll can be Gimli…watching from the back."
"I like those terms," said Croc with a simple shrug. Babydoll was not amused as she crossed her arms and scowled hatefully.
"Not that kind of roleplay," grumbled Hugo, much to everyone's massive displeasure.
"This type of roleplay is one where you pretend to be your partner, saying out loud what you believe that person is like," explained Hugo Strange, "This helps set an understanding for each other and being shown how you are presented in your lover's eyes. We shall start with Harley and Joker."
"Oh, oh, I do a perfect Harley!" shouted out an ecstatic Joker, taking a breath and imitating his girlfriend with a Brooklyn accent and a high-pitched voice, "Ooooh, my name is Harley Quinn! I always mess everything up with my McCheesed-up brain! No matter how much I get what is coming, I never learn anything other than how to change my skin color from Caucasian to black and red. Yet I am so sexy and cute that I can make up for it all night long!"
"Ya think I'm cute and sexy! Oh, Mistah J!" giggled Harley Quinn with a big smile on her face. Hugo cleared her throat, causing her attention to be brought to him, having her instantly remember the reason for the season.
"Oh! Right!" let out a embarrassed Harley, breathing in and saying with her normal voice, "Hiya, I'm the Joker…" She suddenly paused, looking around nervously as all eyes were on her.
With another look around, she said, trying to imitate the Joker, "I'm the Joker! I do crimes! I'm the Joker! I kill people in hilarious ways! I'm the Joker! Why so serious? I'm the Joker!" She then turned around and gave Joker a slight slap to the face, as if to imitate their abusive relationship.
"BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!" guffawed the Joker, slamming his palm against his face as he laughed and laughed and laughed, "That is the worst imitation of myself I have ever seen! Harley, who ever said you couldn't tell a joke to save your life was wrong. You are hilarious!"
Harley wasn't joking, and she turned away with embarrassment. "Yeah…well, I try," she said with a great amount of shame.
"If Harley Quinn can't be serious, we shall skip her and go to Two-Face," said Hugo Strange, swaying his hand to the two-faced Two-Face.
"Hi, I'm Two-Face, I am confused. Hi, I'm Two-Face, I'm confused as well," rambled Harvey Dent, "I don't know how this is going to work. Me neither. Who asked you? I did! Don't talk back to me! I can talk back at whomever I want! Shut up, you can't hold down a job to save your life. Both of you shut up! Who are you? I'm the Judge. Oh no, another split personality? Maybe. Hm. Strange. I agree."
The aftermath revealed a bunch of confused faces, hell anyone would be left speechless from that…whatever it was. "Okay…then," let out Hugo Strange.
"I hate this game," growled Two-Face to them all, "So do I. Stop butting in, Two-Face! This deal is getting worse and worse every minute! Oh great, a FOURTH personality! …I'm delicious."
"Now that we are done with Two-Face, let us get to our Ambiguously Gay Duo," announced Hugo proudly, snickers heard after he made that demoralizing joke. Batman grumbled hatefully and Robin whined miserably.
"Now, Batman, mind if you start mimicking your lover?" teased Hugo again, more giggles were heard from the villainous group therapy compatriots.
"He's not my lover! …I'll go first," grumbled Batman, then taking a deep breath and began imitating with an effeminate voice, "Hi, I'm Robin. I constantly get in the way of things even though I was told to get the hell out of the way. I listen to Justin Bieber, watch My Little Pony, and eat the tops of flowers while singing about rainbows. My oh my does Batman hate it when I constantly whine about not being a part of the team when it is just two guys and a chick, and I'm the chick!"
"…Hi, I'm Batman!" growled Robin, trying to emulate Batman's dark growly voice, "I am a big jerk! I like to put my name into things that already have been invented because it makes me feel a-special. I think I am the center of the universe because I am the World's Greatest Detective, meaning I like to act I don't need help but I do. I am a dark and brooding butt-hurt that would spiral into boring grittiness and over-brooding if I didn't have anyone to talk to in my crazy hijinks."
"Oh yeah?" growled Batman, who sat there with his mouth open. He shut it and began to wonder to himself aloud, "…Wait…maybe you're right."
"What?" groaned a surprised Joker, who was confused along with everyone else.
"When Joker killed Jason Todd, I was so angry that I couldn't see straight before you came along…maybe you do have a purpose after all…" wondered Batman out in the open, finally getting the message, "If I am ever left alone, I go into Frank Miller-style brooding while yelling I'm the Goddamn Batman. And besides, you are the most fun Robin I have ever worked with. Dick always was criticizing my actions to the point of sounding like the straight man, Jason was a delinquent who smoked and was always doing his way and not my way, and Damian hasn't been introduced yet."
Batman turned to Robin, both of them smiling with warm eyes. "Robin, I apologize for saying you do nothing. You do do something, and that is…making my job easier."
"Thanks, Batman," he thanked back with warmness, "But you're still a jerk."
"And you're still a little whiny brat," replied Batman, with both hero and sidekick laughing with warmth. Batman turned to Hugo and said, "Thanks, Strange, I thought you were just trying to get me mad…but turns out, you really tried to help us. All of us."
"…Actually, I am not a Couple's Therapist," let out a revealed Hugo, "In fact, I'm doing all this just to kill time, the real therapist is locked in the bathroom down the hall. I needed something to do while I wait for that new Hobbit movie and this seemed like the perfect thing to help me through the horrid waiting."
"…Oh," replied Batman, then saying, "I should arrest you."
"Come at me, bro," chuckled Hugo Strange with a devious grin.
"Wait! Are you saying you can't really help us with our problems!" shouted Babydoll with tears in her eyes, "I need help! I need love! Waylon doesn't give me any of it, even though I leave myself open for it every night!"
"Yeah, that one night where you were naked on the table covered in syrup really made me lose my appetite," growled Killer Croc in misery.
"Why do you hate me?" she sobbed out, looking at him with crazy eyes and insane sadness, "Why do you feel so gross around me? I try my best! And you still look at me like the grossest thing evers!"
"What do you want me to say?" growled Killer Croc angrily, "You look like a kid! I couldn't even if I tried. It's. Just. Gross! And I eat people for a living! That is saying something, dammit!"
"Do you want me to be sexy? I can be sexy!" sobbed Babydoll, desperate and not listening to a word Croc has said.
"Please don't," whimpered Killer Croc before he was jumped on by the loli-lady known as Babydoll, pinning him on the floor as he screamed and shook his arms around.
"I may look like a little girl but I'm ALL WOMAN!" she screamed out with insane desperation, "I need your love inside me! Please!"
"AAAAAGH!" screamed Killer Croc with tears in his eyes, "No! Please! I don't wanna be labeled! I don't want to be labeled! NOOOOOO!"
FOUR HOURS LATER
Batman and Robin were up in the rooftops, with the Bat looking out at the street as the Boy Wonder was leaning against the pipes jutting from the roof.
"Wow…I can't believe we just witnessed a literal woman-child try to rape a big bad crocodile man," let out a disturbed Robin.
"Waited four hours to say that?" questioned Batman, then grunting with, "Bah, just as well, at least Two-Face knocked her out with the gavel, don't know where he got it, and Joker wrapped her up with silly string…even though, in hindsight, that sounded pretty pointless."
"Yeah, but at least Croc won't be seeing her for a long while," added Robin gleefully, "Since he's charging her for attempted rape and all."
"Seein' how people are being acquitted for the stupidest reasons and counting our own track record, I doubt it," growled Batman to his sidekick, "But at least we got past our hatreds…in a small way."
"That's the truth," sighed Robin with a nod, "And who knows, maybe our time with the nutty and insane Hugo Strange taught us to cherish our friendship and develop an understanding and trust to each other."
Batman glared at Robin, then saying with his dark growling voice, "Don't push it!"
The Banana Slug: I have been waiting for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks for the Iron Man 3 trailer to be leaked online…but DAMN IT ALL, they love to keep me waiting!
I wanna see the Mandarin, I heard he looked cool! Hints of Extremis, do want! Why the wait!
To hell with the world!
And now, it is time for…BATMAN CONFIDENTIALS!
Name: Batgirl AKA Cassandra Cain
Voice Actor: Janice Kawaye (Sure, she doesn't speak much, but still, pretty voice for pretty girl. For a while, due to how infrequent she speaks, I was thinking Tom Hanks would voice her in his free time.)
Description: She has a skinny petite body with short yet wavy black hair, brown eyes, and her body covered in scars. Her costume is, well, a black skin-tight costume that makes her look like a ninja, with a black cape like Batman and a yellow symbol on her chest and a yellow utility belt like the last Batgirl before she got shot. Her headgear is mouthless, with black visor glass over her eyeholes which give her this faceless kind of expression, possibly to scare people but it all just increases the woobieness she emanates.
Likes: Batman, Robin, Chocolate Cake, Puppies, Kittens, SpaghettiOs, The Mighty Boosh, Flowers, Writing poems, Breaking criminal's bones and beating them into a bloody pulp until they are a writhing mass of flesh in great amount of pain and misery…and Bears. All in all, she likes so much that it is hard to list them all down.
Dislikes: Her father, Going to the doctor for a check-up (she thinks that they will fake her death and send her to the desert), and sand being thrown into her eyes. Those are pretty much the only things she doesn't like.