Akatsuki Fundraising Idea #35
"Has anyone seen Hidan?"
Konan growled as her question was met by shrugs and shaking heads. It was ridiculous that she spent most of her time trying to track these cretins down. With a few whips of paper, she had the rest of the crew on their feet and, grudgingly, out looking for the demented cleric.
There's no one to stop me this time. I have it all under control. Hidan thought to himself as he entered the cavern where his glorious number of recruits had gathered. Tonight is the night.
He looked out on a sea of fervent faces; eager to please, wanting to serve. There was only one greater thrill then completing his ritual in combat, completing the ritual en masse.
Before him on a table stood a cup of willing offerings, filled to the brim with the dark blood of his unknowing sacrifices, its salty tang pervading the air and enriching his senses. He stirred it with his finger, careful not to spill a drop outside the circle ready drawn at his feet.
The crowd in front of him shifted slightly, drawing closer, anticipation running through their veins.
"The time has come!" He shouted, the echoes reverberating around the cave, "Tonight, we feast with Jashin!"
A cry went up around the crowd, the roar deafening in the enclosed space. In one gulp, he drained the cup, even to the dregs. A thrill swept through his audience as the black and white markings appeared on his face and bare torso. He yelled in delight at the connection he could feel to each of those watching him. His yell was echoed by the crowd, as he raised a metal spike in both hands.
"I think he's down here."
"Tonight, my friends, we end our pitiful, worthless existence, and enter Jashin's realm."
His speech reached its pinnacle, Hidan brought the spike crashing down, impaling his chest with an exclamation of excitement and a groan of delight.
As one, the gathered youths shrieked, clutching their chests as they fell to their knees.
Wanting more, Hidan withdrew the spike, plunging it into his stomach with a grunt, then panting as the pleasure of fifty peoples' pain coursed through his body. His followers fell to the floor; some gasping in pain, others already in shock.
There was a new cry from behind him and a swarm of paper swirled around him and attempted to drag him from his circle.
"It's too late!" He laughed, power surging through him as more of his cultists surrendered their lives to the pain. "They're all mine!"
"Idiot."
The smile that had adorned his face vanished with the arrival of his heretic partner.
"Get out! Get the fuck out! They're mine! You can't fucking have them!"
"What's the matter, zombie boy? Can't enjoy it with an audience?" Kisame laughed harshly, standing over Hidan's paper-shrouded form as Kakuzu stepped down among the wilting bodies of his sacrifices.
"If that's all it takes, we shouldn't ever leave him alone." Kakuzu called back, as he crouched and began looting the bodies.
"But who could stand him twenty-four seven, yeah?" Deidara asked as he followed Kakuzu out onto the floor. He grimaced as one of the cultists moaned at his feet, kicking the poor sod away from him with a grunt.
"Hey!" Hidan yelled, more because of the disrespect than because he disliked the pain. He was immobile though, struggling against the paper prison.
"Oh, I'm sorry, didn't you feel that?" Deidara laughed harshly, searching for another cultist who was still breathing and slamming his foot down on their chest.
"Deidara, stop that." Konan commanded as Hidan swooned. "Well, this is a mess. Alright everyone, gather up their valuables and anything we can sell."
"What is taking Zetsu so long?" Kisame murmured, looking back up the tunnel toward the surface.
"You defile a holy fucking sacrifice!" Hidan screamed, writhing within the paper as Konan tried once more to break the curse. "I'll kill you all!"
"Someone shut him up!" Kakuzu called from the other end of the cavern.
Kisame knelt over him, smirking evilly," I think he's mad. Look, he's foaming at the mouth."
Hidan was apoplectic, curses spilling from his mouth as he wrenched and twisted, fighting his way out of the paper. Konan was yelling out orders but her words went unheard under Hidan's rage. Kisame stood up, still smirking as he punched the psychotic priest in the face, effectively cutting off his outcry and causing unconsciousness to descend on the last of the cultists.
Then, as Hidan struggled semi-upright to glare at him, he tutted, "Bad dog" and unleashed a wave of water that swept Hidan across the floor, crushing him into the far wall and washed away all evidence of his ritual circle.
As Hidan spluttered and choked, Zetsu finally arrived and proceeded with the organ harvest.
Picking over Hidan's newest recruits for valuables: Success
Harvesting their organs for sale on the black market: Double success!
Author's Note: Is anyone else annoyed at the number of fanfictions that depict these hardened, ruthless criminals as romantic Adonis (plural) or as cute fluffy animals? Utter shite if you ask me.