Chapter 36

Wendy looked over her schedule for the day, sighing softly. Most of the crew was taking the Deinosuchus mission in stride. They'd spent four weeks traipsing about the Atlantic, Scatter-Comming every square mile of ocean, trying to make sure they found every one of the baby monsters. The problem with that, of course, was that Deinosuchus was a reptile, not an amphibian. They were perfectly capable of crawling onto land and staying there indefinitely, even finding food there. Scatter-Coms only covered the water. Being on land made them easier for the hunters to kill, but also easier to hide if they were in an unpopulated area.

Once Lucas negotiated a viable alternative for one specimen, everyone was a lot more excited about looking for them. Miguel finally found a 25 foot male near the Falklands. They captured it and took it directly to Dr. Britton in northern Australia. That side trip 'wasted' four days, but no one complained. Wendy could feel how elated the crew were that they finally saved one. They housed him in large tank near the moonpool. Tony referred to him as Wally, and Darwin repeated it, so the name ended up sticking. Even Dr. Britton seemed to like the name and planned to keep it.

Everyone was still riding the high of saving Wally when Nathan stopped at Broken Ridge Mining Colony, near the Great Barrier Reef. While most of the crew probably thought it was a personal visit for the captain, Wendy suspected otherwise. She didn't know all of the details, but the leader of the colony, Leonard Sutter, had once sent a distress call, answered by seaQuest on its first tour. Mr. Sutter evidently owed Captain Bridger and Commander Ford for saving his family from a dangerous situation.

Sutter was now very wealthy and had started expanding his business into two new mining colonies. He was gaining power and influence. The rest of the crew could think what they wanted about Nathan and Jonathan joining the man for drinks while Lucas entertained Gibby Sutter, Leonard's 13-year-old son, on seaQuest. Wendy knew, without scanning, that this was a very calculated move on Nathan's part to strengthen relations with allies in the area, in hopes of changing the dreadful predictions about a possible Macronesian Alliance. Sutter's operation was independent, but if he ever felt the need to join any group, Nathan wanted to be certain it would be the UEO.

It didn't take a psychic to see how well it had gone. Gibby and Lucas had a grand time playing with Darwin and both Nathan and Jonathan were smiling when they returned from Broken Ridge. No doubt, it had been three hours well spent before they had to rush back to the Atlantic, back to the drudgery of scanning for prehistoric crocodilians.

Wendy hadn't been able to completely purge the guilt over this whole thing. Those eggs had been left alone on her say-so that they were infertile, and she'd been wrong. She knew all the placating lines about being human and no one being able to know anything solid about an extinct species. She knew them because she often used such lines on others. But while her intellect accepted the rationalizations, she was having a hard time taking it to heart and actually forgiving herself as much as everyone else had already forgiven her.

She was keeping busy though. Lonnie was her biggest concern right now. The first two weeks back, Wendy had pestered her to make an appointment for counseling, but Lonnie kept putting it off. Then Wendy made an appointment and gave it to her as a fait accompli, but Lonnie left a voicemail cancellation at the last minute. Wendy made another appointment and emailed it to Lonnie with a note saying that if she didn't come on her own, Wendy would go to Commander Ford. Lonnie said she understood, but then she supposedly 'forgot' the appointment time and didn't show up.

She knew it would make Lonnie even more hostile toward counseling, but the seaman had given Wendy no choice. Wendy spoke to Jonathan in private, bringing up the subject before one of his own counseling sessions.

"She needs to talk more than anyone else, and yet she's avoiding me and everyone around her."

"What, you want me to order her to talk to you?"

It was her own fault that Jonathan didn't see counseling as the serious matter he should see it. She'd made sessions very low key and kept everything "off the record" for the most part. She understood how bad it looked to have the words "psychiatric treatment" in one's personal file. But she was only willing to do that up to a point. "If you have to, yes. This is beyond just being concerned about her, Commander. If you can't get her to come see me voluntarily, then I have to call for an official psych evaluation and I don't think she'll pass. Do you want her removed from duty?"

She could see in Jonathan's eyes that he understood the gravity of the situation now. "I'll take care of it, Doctor."

She knew without a doubt that he would do anything he promised. She gave him Lonnie's next appointment card, all filled out.

He accepted it. "Tell me if she tries to get out of this one," he said solemnly.

Wendy nodded even as she hoped she wouldn't have to. Thankfully, Lonnie did show up that time and none too soon. There was no proof, of course, but Wendy was pretty sure that another month and the girl could have become suicidal. If Wendy thought she felt bad for having been mistaken about some Deinosuchus eggs, that was nothing compared to the guilt Lonnie was carrying. Somehow, she'd even got the idea that Wendy thought her a coward for not having stood up to Beauregard, like accepting a forced mate instead of a brutal beating had been a betrayal or something. The two of them had a long talk and a good cry together and Lonnie hadn't missed another appointment since then. It would take a while, to be sure, but Lonnie was finally on the right path.

Besides Lonnie, there were seven men onboard who had survived If Island. All of them were coming to counseling and all of them were making satisfactory progress. Nathan was doing very well except for nightmares and being inordinately worried about Lucas. But Lucas had turned almost every negative into a positive and was actually growing from the experience. Sure, he had some lingering fears and nightmares, just like everyone else, but for the most part, he'd bounced back better than almost anyone.

Tim was also doing especially well, no doubt in part because the man was madly in love. The change in him had been apparent from the first time Wendy saw him. He smiled more and he seemed to walk taller. She was slightly worried that he'd get homesick quickly, but she had yet to notice any symptoms of that. Going on their fifth week at sea and he was still almost as cheerful as he had been the first day.

"You know, you're making me look bad," she said with a teasing inflection. "You're supposed to come to counseling to get cheered up, but I think you cheer me up more than I cheer you."

"Well, you should have someone cheer you up," he said. "You were tortured too."

"I did have some counseling on leave. Thanks for your concern. How are you doing with being away from Mary?"

Her name made him smile, but he tried to hide it. Then he adopted a fake pout. "She scolded me for trying to talk to her while we were in the middle of a Scatter-Com scan. Like we haven't done eighteen of them already. And it wasn't even like there were a whole lot of people around, just Miguel."

"I think her rule that you never talk while you're on duty is a wise one, Tim. If you wouldn't put on a headset and talk out loud, then she's right, you shouldn't be mind-speaking either."

He sighed. "I know."

"Are you fighting about it?"

He laughed. "No, I just hate it when she's right."

"She's trying to look out for you."

"I know. She's the one who suggested that Lucas and I ask Will to give us martial arts lessons too, and now I'm so sore I can hardly walk."

Lucas had mentioned the lessons before, with great excitement. Wendy didn't know much about Ensign Shan yet, but the fact that he was taking time with the two crew members who seemed the most vulnerable had instantly endeared the man to her. She'd always thought the idea was Lucas's though. "That was Mary's idea?"

"Yeah, I made the mistake of mentioning how inferior Will made me feel."

Wendy took half a second to marvel at this statement. She smiled. "You just told me about your feelings."

He looked surprised. "Isn't that why I'm here?"

"Yes, I suppose it is. But can you remember how hard it used to be for you?"

He shuddered. "I think a lot of things were harder before. People keep looking at me like I'm different. Yesterday, the captain left me in charge even though Brody was standing right there!"

It was about time Nathan started giving Tim more responsibility outside of communications and repairs, however, Wendy did worry slightly about how Nathan could do it without stepping on someone else's toes and 'rocking the boat', as he would put it. "And how did Brody react to that?"

Tim shrugged. "If he was mad, I sure couldn't tell. He almost acted…"

Wendy knew he wasn't searching for the word. He was just reluctant to say it. "Relieved?"

He nodded. "Yeah. But maybe that's my imagination."

"Trust your instincts, Tim. You know, Jim has a lot of new responsibilities at home now. And he didn't have time to think about it or prepare himself mentally, like you have."

"Is he okay?"

"Why don't you ask him that?"

"I tried to. I asked him how often he calls home and he said every 5-7 days. I was just so shocked, I didn't know what to say after that. I talk to Mary two or three times a day, every day."

She couldn't violate Jim's privacy to tell Tim how precarious Jim's marriage was. Valerie had originally intended to keep her pregnancy secret and raise the child on her own and only the fact she thought Jim was dead for a week did she rethink her position. But even after she told him, they had very little time to establish their own relationship before the baby came rushing on the scene. Jim was trying to do the right thing, but he was overwhelmed. It didn't surprise Wendy one bit that he'd welcome someone else being put in charge on the bridge. Unlike Commander Ford, Brody didn't care much about ever getting his own command. His source of pride was launch missions—rescues, extractions, and assaults. He probably should have been a SEAL. Nathan had been one shrewd captain to lure him to seaQuest instead.

Wendy jerked her thoughts back to Tim. "Yes, but you weren't always a big talker, were you?"

He looked down. "I guess not. I still don't know what to say in social situations." Tim said 'social' like it was some nasty concept.

"Talking to a fellow officer when you're both off duty shouldn't be a social situation, Tim. I think Jim could really use your friendship." She paused to take in his expression. He looked a little surprised, maybe, but in a good way, like she believed him and really wanted to help. "Did you tell him you're engaged?" That would give them some common ground. Jim was a man of action and Tim was a thinker, but other than their rank, they had little else in common.

"No, not yet."

"I notice you haven't told very many people. Who else knows besides me?" Wendy wasn't even sure Tim would have told her at all. Mary had been the one to come squealing into her mind, hyped up like she'd drank five too many espressos, and still panting after having fallen overboard into the freezing ocean in December.

"Just Lucas and Miguel."

She chose her next words carefully. "Is there a reason it's a big secret?"

Tim sighed. "Kinda. A lot of people think she's my imaginary friend and I don't have any way to prove otherwise. I mean, how many guys can't produce a single picture of their fiancée?"

Carefully and gently, she said, "But a picture would mean other problems, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess." He paused and looked her in the eyes. "Do you think she's ugly?"

Ordinarily she'd avoid that question. She knew all the psychology tricks to turn focus away and keep from talking about herself. But that was unfair to Tim. Her sessions with him were already less about counseling for PTSD and more about friendship. She wasn't even joking that much when she'd said she was getting more out of it than he was. She met his gaze, cringed, and nodded. "But I don't think any less of her because of it. It's not important."

He sighed. "It's hard when I don't see what everyone else does. I mean, sure, her nose is a little big, but so what?"

Wendy chuckled and shook her head. "You two are so perfect for each other." She'd suspected it from the first time Mary had talked about him and she'd only become more sure as time went by.

He grinned. "I know. That's just it. I feel like I've won the lottery and talking about it is like gloating."

"Fair enough. The captain probably feels the same way about his partnership with Captain Hitchcock, but he does talk about it if it someone else brings up."

"I'm not hiding it," Tim said defensively.

"I didn't mean to imply that you were. What do you want me to say when people ask me what's up with you?"

"People are asking you that?"

She nodded. "You said yourself that they're looking at you different."

"Just tell them I have a great girlfriend and if they want to know more, then ask me. I still don't know how I'm going to handle it if people make cracks about her looks though."

"Don't mention her looks at all. Tell them she's camera-shy. That's what I've always said. It's not a lie and anything more is really none of their business. And if they want to attribute your happiness to an imaginary friend, I'd say you've got some imagination."

"Sometimes I don't think she's real myself. Like maybe I dreamed her up when I was on pain meds or something."

She punched him lightly on the arm. "No, silly, you told her you wouldn't talk to her because she didn't have a decoder ring, when you were on pain meds."

He cringed. "I did?"

Laughing, Wendy nodded. "You did. But she just thought it was cute."

"I don't think I ever thanked you for introducing us, Wendy. Thanks."

"I didn't do much. She heard your Transmissions quite without my help."

"You know what I mean."

Yes, she knew. Wendy had rather prodded them into talking to each other because otherwise, they'd both have clammed up. While she wouldn't have guessed they'd be engaged this soon, it didn't surprise her. She smiled, patted his hand, and whispered, "You're welcome."