A/N: TPOV
She was trying hard to focus on the explanations he was giving, but the words he was using kept distracting her as images ran through her mind.
"… At times a light kiss with the softest lips can take your breath away…" Would his kiss be light? Will it take my breath away? "… your mouth may be yearning for a bold, thrusting kiss…" The image of being pressed against the rough stone wall, his lips capturing hers, the palms of his hands planted firmly on the wall on either side of her head. "… designed to sting…cannot be used too long without tearing flesh… a delightful thud, almost flat yet crushing…I will be happy to show you the difference…" Her mouth had gone dry, her tongue darting out trying to wet her lips.
She liked the sound of the potion play. However, the orgasm denial sounded positively frustrating and wicked. She didn't know if she would want to curse him or beg him if he did something like that to her. She couldn't help but gape slightly as he said the words "bitch in heat". It was like she was meeting him for the first time. She had never seen him as vulnerable as he had been earlier, then to find out about his past relationship with Lily Evans, and now this accompanied by a happy, if not hungry, look in his eyes. A number of people knew Severus Snape, the potions master. She wondered if anyone knew this person sitting in bed in front of her right now. She felt honored to be trusted enough to be shown this side of him. She wanted to know more, to see more.
"… straddling something sharp and at a height where you had to decide to discomfort your feet or your nethers…" Her breath hitched slightly, trying to imagine being in that situation. "I'd only do this in a way to pleasure rather than harm you, but you'd soon see how torturous pleasure can be." Her mind spun as she eased a sigh of relief when he reinforced the fact that he had no intention of harming her and then followed it with what sure sounded like a threat…or maybe a promise? He continued and the image of his feet propped up on a person seemed simultaneously exotic and bizarre. She realized that not only was he revealing himself to her but an entirely different world to her, one she wasn't sure she would fit into yet. She knew she wanted to try.
"I should add that I do not have a submissive of any type, however." She hadn't realized how much she needed to hear that until he had said it. That possibility had been what was bothering her since she had found the previous contract. If he had started back with Lily, how many had there been since? And did he have any now? She was glad she had the answer without having to ask.
Her eyes widened as she listened to him describe the predicament bondage. She was competitive enough that such an event could prove interesting… "Lost twenty Galleons on that wager" … She smirked, for both of them. One of the driving forces of her life had been people saying, "You can't…". Her response had always been, "Watch me!" Possibly not the most submissive response. She realized. She had to wonder how she would react when it came to orders. Being an auror she often followed orders, but limitations had never been a strong point for her. She had always tried to push her own as well as those of others around her.
"… it would easily become sexual." Her eyes immediately snapped up to his again. "You, of course, have every right to cease any play with a safeword, but you should not expect me to bring your pleasure in my certain ways without wanting to," her eyes strayed from his as she watched his tongue wet his lips, she knew that move, she had done it earlier when this conversation had started, had the move looked as inviting as his did now? "fully satisfy both of us. Which brings us to an unpleasant point in this conversation." She frowned slightly; she had rather been enjoying the pleasant part of the conversation.
"Members within the Order would not understand the nature of this relationship. I advise you to not even bother trying to bring it up." She bit her tongue to keep the sarcastic remark inside. Yes, I can just imagine sitting around the table with Molly…"Oh, by the way, I have a new hobby. I let Severus beat me in both of our free time. At first I thought being stuck on Hogwarts patrol would be boring, but he sure knows how to liven it up…could you pass a scone?" Brilliant. I will have to get right on that. "Should you wish to continue pursuing Lupin, I shall not stand in the way, nor would it affect us." The smirk that had been on her lips from the previous image thinned to a grim line at the mention of Remus. She didn't know what she wished with Remus, but he had been more than clear in detailing his wishes for her. It didn't help the sting that had settled into the background, but was nevertheless constantly present. "People involved with BDSM frequently cannot engage in such activities with their spouse due to the partner's perceived stigma or unwillingness to engage in such acts. I am willing to brew you contraception potions or take them to myself if you desire. My only demand is that you submit yourself only to me. Is this agreeable?"
She was quiet for a moment trying to take in everything he had said. She didn't know if she could be in a relationship with Remus and keep something like this from him. She didn't even know if she had a relationship with Remus in the first place. Did couples really keep something like this from each other? "Was that the arrangement between you and Lily Evans? That James wouldn't know?" She asked softly, knowing he was going to be angry that she had snooped, but desperate to know how the dynamic worked, if it worked. It would explain why no one seemed to know about Severus and Lily.