November 5, 1994

Dear Veronica,

I think I'm in love with Edward Cullen.

To be honest, I think I've been in love with him for a while. Forever maybe. And I know that's not even possible, but that's exactly how I feel. God, I'm such a loser.

He was here for a couple hours. It was just me and him. And after we talked (about the fact that he didn't have sex with Lauren Mallory), we stayed on the couch kissing.

We kissed forever.

Just kissing this time. There was no groping or inappropriate humping like at his house. There was no wondering if he was going to feel my boobs or if he wanted me to do anything to him. It was almost like – I don't know – like, I knew he wanted to do those things, but he was happy just to be there with his lips pressed against mine.

The rest of that stuff will come eventually. I hope.

Alice called and invited me to spend the night at her house, and I really want to go. She said that we were going to watch Reality Bites. And I definitely want to see that. That guy (I can't think of his name) is pretty hot. Even if he does look a little dirty and greasy.

I tried calling Dad at Billy's, but his son, Jacob, answered and said that Charlie wasn't there. I could have sworn that he said that he was going to Billy's. But I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, it didn't matter. He called a few minutes later to check in. He said he would be late coming home. I wanted to ask him where he was, but I thought it was more important to get him to agree to let me go to Alice's. And you know what? He did. He totally did with no questions asked. And he is ALWAYS all about the questions.

Strange.

Actually, come to think of it, everything has been strange about Charlie today.

I suppose I should just be happy that he seems distracted. Because if he wasn't, I would probably have already been busted by now. But I've been thinking about that, too. Ever since I told Emmett to tell him about me and Edward, I've sort of decided that nothing bad can really happen from him knowing. I mean, what would he actually do?

He wouldn't make me quit my job.

And there's not really anything else he could take away from me.

I think that maybe I should just sit down and talk to him again. Especially if Emmett and I do it together. I think that there's no way he can say no to both of us. And I seriously think that we can make him see reason.

Anyway, Alice is on her way. I'll tell you all about it when I get home tomorrow! This is my first official sleepover ever. I don't even know what to bring.

Love,

Bella

PS: I wonder if it's too soon to be in love with Edward. And even more than that, I wonder if he feels the same way for me. It seems like he does, but I just don't know. It's not like I have anything to compare it to. I guess I will (once again) follow his lead. I mean, I'm definitely not saying it first. Even if I was a millisecond away from possibly telling him while he kissed me today.

Although, I suppose that could have been the enormous relief I felt from knowing he hadn't touched or been anywhere near Lauren Mallory's vagina.

Gross.

Yes. I'm definitely going to wait for him.

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Reviews are love.

Please leave me some.

I love Marvar more than soft kisses on an old couch.

And ILY all, too!