Author's Note: I was having some problems writing this chapter until I switched narrators. The alternate universe where Eddie is being held captive ties into one of my LJ stories- The Lost Boys, which ties into Mental/Psycho/School Daze. It might not look like Jimmy's reaction was particularly poignant, but after writing a universe where Jimmy has tried to bury his feelings until they vanish, this scene was evocative.

If anyone is interested in the Catalyst spin off series, send me a personal message. It's all up on LJ, but LJ is disorganized. XD

Chapter Thirty-Six: Undone (This Mad Season)

She stepped inside the Neutron house and gazed around her. On the wall, the pictures had changed and now featured Amelia along with her half brother. The one nearest the door showed Jimmy's parents hugging both children and Amelia gazing admiringly at Jimmy. For a moment, Sasha stared at the picture and thought about what life might have been like if she had kept Amelia. The Neutrons looked so happy, no trace of resentment or anger in their countenance, and nothing ugly like what always lurked behind any pictures of Cindy or the Vortex family.

Amelia hung back, standing in front of her older brother. There was another version of Jimmy here, holding a younger Cindy's hand, and Sasha sniffed. She knew they were time traveling. She had warned Cindy to stay away from that boy. All right, so part of the admonition came out of her unrequited love, but the other half had derived from his inventions. They were dangerous.

She sniffed disapprovingly at Cindy, who glared back, stone faced. She wondered where the actual Cindy was, and then decided she was probably avoiding her. Sasha removed her gaze, but saw Cindy grab Jimmy's hand out of the corner of her eye.

"Would you like something to drink? To eat?" Judy said between clenched teeth. Her eyes sparked in anger and she placed a protective hand on Amelia's right shoulder.

Sasha smiled, not a friendly gesture but more like an animal scenting its prey. "Whatever you have will be fine."

Judy inclined her head and backed out of the room with her eyes upon her. Hugh hung back, toward the kitchen, until Judy yanked him inside too. They spoke in huddled whispers and Sasha rolled her eyes, more preoccupied with Amelia.

Amelia held herself upright and stared back; her eyes were green, but they were closer to Judy's shade, a vibrant jade. Her facial structure resembled Cindy's, but since she was so young, it was hard to tell. She still had chubby cheeks and her sister's nose, although it could be argued it was Jimmy's nose too. The last time Sasha had seen Amelia it was shortly after she was born. She sighed and dropped to her knees to hug her. Amelia eyed Jimmy and jumped back, leaving Sasha to hug empty air.

"You're not my mother."

The words hung in the air like an indictment and Sasha winced. She smiled at Amelia, who had grabbed Jimmy's hands and pressed herself against his left leg.

"My mother told her what happened," Jimmy said coldly. "She knows the story."

Amelia said again, "You're not my mother. My mother is Jimmy's mother."

"Biologically, I am your mother," Sasha said, ready to wring Judy's neck for poisoning her daughter against her. Gritting her teeth, she glanced over at Cindy, who was watching Amelia curiously. When their eyes met, Cindy stiffened and glared, hatred flashing in her eyes. Sasha scoffed.

Amelia shook her head. "That doesn't make you my mother."

Using a different tack than she would have with Cindy, she said, "Then what does?"

"My mother takes care of me and loves me," she said. Her expression was defiant and Sasha would have smacked Cindy for glaring at her like that. However, Sasha had a weakness toward Amelia she didn't have toward Cindy. The way her lips were set in that pout reminded Sasha a little of Hugh.

"I would have done that if I had won custody," Sasha said. "And there's still time for me to take care of you."

Cindy said something in an aside to Jimmy and Sasha glared at her. Cindy glared back.

"No, you wouldn't," Amelia said.

Sasha swallowed back an impatient response. "I'm here now, and that's what matters. I'm here and I love you."

Cindy yelped, Sasha glanced at her, and the hurt expression that flitted across her face for a second almost made Sasha feel guilty. When she spoke, it was wounded.

"You say it to her to her so easily," she said.

"Cindy-" Jimmy started and she whipped her head around so fast Sasha was mildly surprised she hadn't strained her neck.

"No, Neutron," she said. "I've seen enough. I'll be in your lab, waiting."

"You can't get into my lab without-" he started to protest and she yanked a hair from his head.

"Now I can," she said. Her eyes met Amelia's for a brief second and Amelia flinched when Cindy stormed up to the door and grabbed the knob.

"Cindy, wait," Amelia said. "Don't you wanna stay?"

Cindy's eyes roved her face for a moment longer before she grabbed the knob, yanked the door back, and slammed it on her way out. Sasha sniffed. Impertinent child. What did she really want her to say? She had never been able to completely sort out how she felt about Cindy, and besides, those feelings should be evident. Her mother had never said it to her.

The front door opened again and the younger Jimmy had one parting shot before leaving the scene.

"Congratulations," he said quietly, "you lost the only family you ever had."

The door shut and Sasha bit back a growl. Amelia was looking anxious now, her eyes shiny and tears glimmering. Her Jimmy held her against him and looked almost like he would have wanted to pursue Cindy too. As it was, he rocked Amelia back and forth.

"I know I wasn't around before," Sasha continued, as if the scene had never happened, "but I'm home now and I want to make it up to you."

Amelia shook her head. "How come you want me as your daughter but you don't want Cindy?"

"Amelia!" Jimmy said, but it didn't sound like his heart was in it. Sasha looked at the kitchen, where Judy and Hugh were watching her. It was as Sasha had thought- a ruse to get out of the room. Judy would never play gracious host to the woman who had kidnapped her husband.

"I'll smooth things over with Cindy later," Sasha lied. "And that wasn't the real Cindy. That was a younger Cindy. The past is over. The future is what matters."

She knelt again and opened her arms to Amelia. "Give your mother a hug."

"No!" Amelia snapped and hugged Jimmy tighter. "You're not my mother."

Sasha forced herself to be patient. It might take a while for Amelia to see things her way. She rose to her feet and smiled, although she privately wanted to rip Jimmy away from her precious daughter and steal Amelia from him.

"I'll tell you what," she said. "Why don't you show me your room and you can tell me what you like to do. No pressure and I promise I won't take you away from your precious Jimmy or your mom and dad."

Amelia cocked her head to contemplate this. She said, "Okay, if Jimmy can come too."

Jimmy's expression was cold and callous. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Goddard watched Jimmy master himself. It was a struggle and his brain waves fluctuated erratically. Outwardly, the boy genius had his fists balled and practiced steadying his breathing. As was customary with seizing the top spot and knocking Jamie and James out, Goddard couldn't detect the other personalities with Jimmy overriding them.

"If I let him go, I risk recreating the tragedy that led to this," Jimmy said after prolonged silence.

"Master, there's no proof what happened here happened anywhere else," Goddard said.

"That's not true," Jimmy said and rubbed his temples. He sat down and stared at himself for a moment. He rolled his right arm from side to side. "When did I cut myself?"

"James did that a week ago in the lab," Goddard said and frowned. "I thought he healed that with the Neutron healing patches you invented."

"I suppose not," Jimmy said and continued to examine his body. "Why is there a ring in my pocket?"

"An admirer gave it to Jamie," Goddard said. He tried to quell his excitement. Jimmy being interested in other things meant he might stay. Goddard had longed for Jimmy to return for years now, only to have to settle for Jamie. He liked Jamie, since Jamie was much better than the abusive, callous, and sometimes cruel James, but there was no substitute for his real master.

Jimmy glanced around him; they were in the living room, with its white uncomfortable sofa James had picked out in front of a large flat screen TV against the opposite wall. The TV was for show, in James' case; he wanted to brag how much money the drug companies gave him. In Jamie's case, he actually watched it. Jimmy stared at it and then at Goddard.

"I should release him," Jimmy said. "Before I do something I'll regret."

There was a clause coming and Goddard waited for it.

"However," he said, "I can't help but want to inflict trauma on him, to prevent him from hurting my counterpart."

"Master, that's not you," he cautioned.

"It's the person I've become," he said and released a deep, shuddering breath. "James said there were other universes like this one."

That was news to Goddard. Both that Jimmy had listened in for long enough to gain information and also that James was researching alternate universes in the first place.

"I don't want my counterpart to suffer the way I have," he said. "But at the same time…"

Jimmy lapsed into silence, but it was minus the head cocking motion Goddard had grown to associate with Jimmy listening to someone else's speech. It took him a split second to realize he couldn't have been listening in, because it was almost impossible to hear James and Jamie from Jimmy's side unless Jimmy was underneath them. Jimmy had buried himself so well in his own mind he could stealthily appear, even unknown to Goddard, and listen, but only if he were already within the system. Once he left and joined the top, he couldn't hear them anymore. Goddard wasn't sure if it was because Jimmy didn't want Jamie cajoling him to return to his life or a wall had sprung up out of nowhere.

"He said he was here because I didn't exist," Jimmy said.

"You were listening," Goddard said.

"I was." Jimmy inclined his head. "I hear more than you think."

He frowned. "I have an idea."

Goddard watched him closely.

"I'm going to release him, before I do irreparable harm," he said. "However, he won't return to his universe unscathed. I'm going to implant a trigger device."

At Goddard's questioning look, Jimmy continued.

"It will activate in case anything resembling the catalyst event transpires," he said. "I don't know the League side of things-"

He shuddered and Goddard saw the memory portion of the brain light up, along with his emotions. He hugged himself and Goddard pressed him against him. That was the pleasant thing about the form Jimmy and James had created for him (back when Jimmy had functioned alongside James instead of falling back). He could hold Jimmy if he wanted to.

"I can't tell you how it happened first," he said and his eyes swam in tears. "But I can tell you where it started with me. And I can implant that in his brain. The instant the circumstances resemble what I think happened first, Eddie would be forced to sabotage the League. He will have no choice but to help my counterpart and prevent my insanity," he said. "It's the best help I can give my other self."

"What about you?" Goddard said.

"What about me?" Jimmy countered and smiled sadly. "Goddard, I can't deal with this. You know that."

"You could if you told someone else," he said. "If you didn't suppress it. You know suppressing traumatic incidents makes them more powerful."

"And told them what?" Jimmy said. His voice rose and grew hysterical. "I died twice and almost died a third time? I was used as a plaything by a group of people who should have known better? I was carved up like a Christmas turkey? Carl could have stopped it and he abandoned me? That the only reason I survived was because Beautiful Gorgeous saved me after Jet betrayed me?"

In the past, Jamie had been able to seize the helm and prevent an overload. Jamie was locked out. Jimmy rocked back and forth with tears streaming down his face. His lower lip quivered and he buried his face into Goddard's chest. Several moments passed before Jimmy was well enough to speak.

"I can't," he whispered. "I've come undone."