A/N: It's officially summer for me! Which means more time to write between work. haha enjoy this wonderful flashback filled chapter, and please, someone beside Tara leave me a review!

Burning Bridges: Chapter 36

The elevator rose, opening its door and her eyes to a new world outside of Division. Alex took a deep breath as she stepped into the barn, her sights now set on a ladder off to the side.

"He's not here." Alex frowns, turning back to face Nikita.

Nikita sighed. "Don't give up." She says, "We haven't even started looking yet." She took a step closer to Alex and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, reassuring the girl. "Look around." Nikita smiles. "You've been here before. Take some time, you'll remember." Alex gave her a small smile and returned her gaze toward the ladder. "If you need me, I'll be with Ryan okay?"

"You're leaving me?" Alex asks, a little bit shocked.

"I trust you." Nikita smiles. "But just in case, here's a little something to guide you if you get lost." She hands Alex a small device. "It's programmed with a map of the property including the surrounding perimeter and the lower sectors if you feel like exploring. You can thank Birkhoff for it later." She winks.

On that note, Nikita begins to walk back toward the elevator. "I'll see you later okay?"

Alex nodded. "See you."

Once Nikita was out of sight, Alex sighed and stared at the ladder again. She took a deep breath and began to climb the steps up to her once favorite lookout...

"Another day, another hiding place." Sean smirks once he catches Alex's eyes peering at him from the base of the ladder. "What's new?" He laughs.

"Hey, that's not fair! I was here first." Alex glares at him. She successfully climbs onto the loft and makes her way toward Sean. "Move over, you're hogging all the cushions." She smirks. Sean gave her a look, refusing to give up his comfy spot. "Come on!" Alex pushes him slightly away. She wiggled her way next to him and fought for her favorite pillow. "You know this is my spot."

"Gosh." He teases. "So aggressive."

Alex smirked. "What are you even doing here anyway?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Sean counters.

"I got bored watching Birkhoff set up his dolls in his new nerd-cave." She replies.

"Dolls?" Sean laughs. "They're called action figures."

"Same difference." Alex says rolling onto her side. She adjusted her pillow and looked at Sean, as if suddenly realizing how close he was lying next to her.

"You comfortable?" Sean asks, noticing her frigid movements.

Alex sat up, intentionally distancing herself from him. She nodded. "Yeah, it's just... usually," She glares at him. "I have a little more breathing room... and pillows."

Sean laughed and sat up. He picked up his pillow and shoved it at her. "Here, I'm done with it."

"You're leaving?" Alex suddenly asks.

She didn't want to admit, but she kind of liked his company. On hot days like this when everyone was inside and underground, enjoying the cool air conditioning, she wanted to go outside and get some fresh air. She was surprised to see another familiar face doing just the same.

Sean was happy to see her too, but lately he had a feeling she was scared to get close to him. He gave her a confused look, "Why?" He asks her, "You want me to stay?"

"No..." Alex denies. "I mean, only if you want to. I'm not kicking you out if you do want to stay." She gives him a small smile.

Sean smiled back at her. "You know, I think this is the longest conversation we've had in awhile." He says, sitting back down.

"What? No way." Alex laughs. "I just saw you yesterday."

"Yeah, but you ran out on me."

"When?"

"When I went to check up on you and you said you had to meet Dr. Lester."

"Oh yeah. Well, that was a good excuse. My arm is all better now." She smiles.

"I'm still betting you're gonna break it again." Sean winks.

"Hey!" Alex smacks him in the shoulder. "Thanks for that lovely encouragement."

Sean smirks at her. She was so easy to tease. After a while, he began to look out the window, feeling the cool air rush through his hair. "It's such a nice day out today." He comments.

"Yeah, it is." Alex agrees.

Sean suddenly looks at her, having an idea. "Hey." He gives her a giant smile, "Do you want to go on a walk with me?" He asks. Alex gave him a look, thinking for a second. "I've always wanted to go exploring..." He quickly adds. "The farm... It's a big property, you never know what treasures are out there." He looks toward Alex and holds out his hand. "Come on, it'll be fun."

Alex looked at his hand, tempted but scared to go with him. She found herself thinking of another excuse to keep herself busy. "I don't know." Alex looks away. "We shouldn't stray too far... Nikita could need me for something."

"That's when phones come in handy." Sean counters. "Come on, I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." Alex sat still. She was running out of excuses. "Come on." Sean continues to urge her.

"Sean..." Alex frowns. She glanced down at the elevator. "I-"

"You're always hanging out here." Sean states. He was a little bit upset, disappointed that she was choosing Nikita over him. "Don't you ever go anywhere else?"

"What's wrong with the barn?" Alex questions. "I like it here, it's-"

"Peaceful, I know." Sean sighs. He stood up and walked over to another window across from Alex. "But don't you ever want to go anywhere else?" He asks, looking out into the world. "Do anything else?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't know, I haven't really thought about it."

"And here I thought, this was the place you said you liked to come to 'think'." He teases.

Alex laughed. "Well I do think here… sometimes…" She looks at him. "Just never really about the future, I guess."

"Hey Ryan," Nikita smiles as she sits down next to her old friend. "I think the future is finally looking up." She says. "Alex is getting a lot better now. I know she still has some things to work through, but I believe there is an end in sight…" She trails off as she takes in Ryan's steady heartbeat. "I know you'll be there." Nikita reaches for his hand. "When this is all over, you're gonna be standing with us okay, Fletch? You're going to pull through this, and you're going to wake up."

She waited a minute and sat back in her chair, whispering, "I'm sorry Ryan." Nikita sighs. She took a deep breath and glanced toward the door, surprised to see another pair of eyes watching her. "Michael."

"Sorry." He says, walking over to her. "I wasn't spying."

"It's okay." Nikita sighs. She returned her attention to Ryan and sat still, thinking about the future again.

After a while, Michael called her. "Nikita..." He frowns. "About earlier..."

"You were right." Nikita cuts him off. She glanced at him and shook her head slightly. "Michael, you were right... about Alex, she needs more time..."

Michael sighed and sat down next to her. "She does, but you were right too." Nikita looked at him confused. "Amanda, she's not going to wait for us... but that doesn't mean we have to wait for Alex. I have a plan."

"I can't leave her behind." Nikita argues.

"We're not. Listen to me." Michael explains. "Amanda's war is with the media right now. She's using Alex's image against her. If we can prove she's not who Amanda is making her out to be then we'll gain the advantage."

"Isn't this what Amanda wants? To lure her out into the open?" Nikita counters.

"Yes, but on her terms. We're going to take control, Nikita. Isn't this what we were trained to do?" Michael smirks. "Control the narrative?" Nikita looked back at him in awe. "Amanda will never see this coming." He winks.

Alex sighed as she reached the top of the loft. She made her way to her stash of pillows and sat down, trying her best to remember more about this place...

He continued to stare at her from his position at the window. "The future is whatever you want it to be." Sean tells her. "So tell me, before the world comes crashing down around us, what do you have to lose?"

Sean was right, it was the perfect day to go out and enjoy herself. Alex sighed and picked up one of her favorite pillows, the same pillow Sean had thrown at her in her memories. She laughed, thinking back at how playful they used to be before she became too stubborn and guarded.

"It's just a walk." She remembers Sean telling her. "Doesn't have to be anything more than that." But maybe she wanted something more, she didn't know, it was so confusing.

She glanced out the window and took a deep breath. Just one walk, Alex thought... nothing more. "Okay." She finally gives up.

"Okay?" He asks.

"I'll go on a walk with you." She smiles.

Alex sat fondly, remembering this moment in her head. It was still a beautiful day out, if Sean wasn't in the barn, maybe he was waiting for her somewhere else.

"Where do you think Sean went?" Birkhoff asks Sonya casually as they sat in his office.

"I haven't got the slightest idea." She replies. "But I hope it's somewhere nice, with a beautiful view."

"I just hope it's still in the same country." Birkhoff laughs. "Would narrow down the grid better."

"Birkhoff, you know we shouldn't be helping." Michael suddenly walks into the room. "Alex needs to remember on her own."

"Hey, I'm just curious." Birkhoff retorts. "SEAL just up and left us. I have the right to be a little upset he didn't even say bye."

"Aw, Seymour." Sonya rubs his arm. "Do you miss your friend?"

"No." Birkhoff lies. "I don't need him... I have plenty of friends left."

"Nerd, don't lie." Nikita laughs as she joins the three. "Sean's the only one who enjoys your comic ramblings."

"That's not true!" Birkhoff gets defensive. "Sonya-"

"Don't worry, honey, I love your comic ramblings." Sonya winks.

Birkhoff smiles at her then glares at Michael. "So how's Alex doing?" He asks.

"Don't know, why don't you check on her?" Michael replies.

Birkhoff shakes his head then looks at his computer. "You could ask more nicely."

"Okay, Nerd, can you please bring up Alex's tracker?" Nikita plays along.

Birkhoff rolls his eyes and types in a few command codes on Shadownet, bringing up a flashing green dot on his screen. "Ah, there you are princess." He smiles. "Says here she's nearing the northern edge of the property." Birkhoff explains. "Should we be worried?"

"No." Nikita replies, "I think I know where she's heading."

Alex walked steadily along a dirt trail nearest to the barn, enjoying the sunlight on her skin. She couldn't remember the last time she enjoyed the sun like this. Maybe it was when she was with Sean. Now that she thought about it, all her best memories were with him...

"I like this." Alex comments as she walks side by side with Sean. "Reminds me of when we were in the park..."

"But without guns being shot at us right?" Sean winks.

"Well, we are still technically on Division." Alex laughs. "You never know."

"Did I ever thank you for taking that bullet for me?" Sean suddenly asks.

"I told you, you thanked me when you took out the shooter." Alex replies.

"Oh... Sorry about your friend by the way." Sean frowns.

"It's okay." Alex sighs. "You couldn't have known Amanda was that evil."

"If I knew what Amanda was planning, I would've tried to stop her."

"Really? You would stand up to her?" Alex questions.

"I've done it before." Sean reminds her.

"That's right." Alex remembers, "Belarus."

"Our first real mission together."

"I think that one is my favorite mission." Alex comments.

"Really?" Sean looks surprised. "Why?"

"I don't know... it was a good mission." Alex smiles. "I felt... good."

Sean couldn't help but smile at her as they continued to walk along the perimeter. Alex seemed oblivious though, her eyes more focused on the trail ahead of her. "That's good." Sean comments.

"What's your favorite mission?" Alex asks him casually.

"Russia." Sean automatically replies.

"Russia?" Alex stops walking and lookes at him confused for a moment before remembering what he meant by Russia... "Why?"

"Because I got to help you see your mom again." Sean answers. "To me, that's more special than any other mission combined."

His words left her speechless, for the first time in awhile, he was starting to see a crack in her wall again. Alex didn't know what to say, she had already thanked him a million times but she never felt like it was enough.

"Sean..." Alex tries to speak, but her words were jumbled. "I-"

"Hey," Sean suddenly grabs her hand and pulls her into the surrounding bushes. "I want to show you something."

"Where are we going?" Alex asks, excitedly.

"You'll see." Sean smiles. He led her a couple feet south toward an embankment before stopping her. "Hold on." He smirks. "Close your eyes."

Alex gave him a look before obeying. "You better not walk me into a tree." She laughs.

"I promise I won't." Sean smirks. "Okay, hold my hand." He offers. "And watch your step here, it's just around the corner..."

"What is?"

"I came across it one day when I was helping Birkhoff set up new perimeter triggers." Sean explains. "Watch it," He gently guides her through the tall trees. "Okay, open your eyes."

"Oh my gosh." Alex looks around in amazement. Before her was an old rustic bridge, centered on top of a stream lined with wildflowers.

"I know it's not much, but you should have seen it before, the wood was cracked in three places and was practically a safety hazard... I fixed it." Sean marvels. "Took me 2 trips to a hardware store to get all the right supplies, but I wanted to restore it..."

"The bridge." Alex remembers. She had walked straight to it, without even realizing it. It was still perfect.

"You're not the only one with a hiding spot." She remembers Sean telling her.

He led her across the bridge and stopped in the middle. "This is mine." He points to his initials craved into the wooden railing. "But I'll share it with you."

"I'd like that." Alex smiles.

She ran her fingers along the crevasses of his name, feeling his initials. "Sean." She whispers, happily. "I remember this."

A/N: Aww, she's getter better and remembering more :) Gotta love flashbacks, they're so calming... but seriously, where did Sean go?