A/N: Im curious about my readers, so I ask each and everyone of you, what is your favorite chapter so far? I think id have to go with The Weak vs The Strong. Dont know why its my fav so far, but it is.
Somebody messaged me and asked the time period, dates and whatnot and I wasnt so sure, so I had to google and find out when most of the stuff(in the up coming chapters) takes place. Ive determined by what I read that most of this is set from January-March, I presume. I dont have specific dates yet, but i'll see what I can do since some of you are into that kind of detailing. Smh, I feel a headache coming on already, lol.
Anywho, read, review, enjoy, or dont.
"Anything to get your shirt off, eh Jake?"
"Shut up, Leah!"
I roll my eyes at Jake and Leahs display of affection but smile nonetheless; Leah seems to be getting good at getting under Jakes skin nowadays.
I told her what happen a few days ago, how my my so called thrill of adventure or rather epic fail on the motor bike landed me with seven stitches.
She found both that and the whole conversation slash moment that took place after profoundly hilarious.
"Did I ever tell you you're sorta beautiful, Jakey wakey...?" I literally smack myself for even mentioning anything to her, shes teased us non stop since then.
If I get any redder, I just might explode and die from embarrassment. Id guess that Jakes face mirrors my own but I cant really see, he already practically jogging ahead of us.
"Nice, Leah..." I shake my head, mirroring her own pace. She waves me off of course, not all effected by my words or Jakes behavior.
"So tell me again, Swan. What exactly are we looking for out here?"
We're currently on a hike of sorts in the woods; woods I assume are a fairly close to the place we once made love.
Yes, she and I made love in Edwards meadow, on occasion. The first time was during summer, in the middle of August I believe, when the humidity in my house was too much to bare and we settled into the meadow; we hadnt intentionally came up there just to do that. We came there just to relax, take in the peaceful serene view and let the light breeze cool us off. Or rather me, since heat or temperature doesnt really play a factor for their kind.
"Um, well its this meadow I found once on a hike..."
"-Meadow?" She snorts obnoxiously. "Never really took for the type to roll around in daisy's and whatnot. Hell, I never took you for a hiker..."
"Im not." I interject, carefully stepping over a decent size rock. " At least not usually anyway."
"Right, and on this 'one time hike' that you just so happen to find this meadow...were you a dare devil before then or after?
"Ya know, sarcasm isnt really all that necessary. If you didnt want to come then all you had to do is say so. You guys asked me what I wanted to do today and I told you.." Im getting irritated and when im irritated I dont really take too much notice to my surroundings; so when my foot gets caught between something, im not to surprised, and apparently neither is Leah.
"Jeeze, you really need to work on multitasking." I give her a meek smile as she helps me off my ass. "I swear you're the clumsiest person Ive ever met..."
"So sorry I cant be all poised like you quilettes.." I quip in my own little sarcastic tone, dismissing her with a wave of my hand.
"Yeah, well you should be. Being a quilette is a great honor...takes alot of character, which you wouldnt know about..."
Oh now shes being smug. I cant see her, but I can practically hear the smile on her face.
"If you say so." Theres a pause, before something ebbs at my brain. "The other day, when you said, 'let go, stop searching and know your own worth. Whats right in front of me', what'd exactly did you mean?"
I dont look at her, but I can tell from the huff she gives that she wasnt planning on discussing the matter.
"I'll tell you, if you tell me what your 'searching' for? Or rather who..."
"Wha-.."
"The day in the shed, before we became friends. You said you werent running, you were searching. What are you searching for? Who are you searching for..?"
Im at a loss of words. I hadnt expected her to hit me with this.
"Im searching for...happiness. I want to be me again, happy. The Bella I was when she," I trail off, unable to finish.
"Rosalie. Thats who your searching for?"
I dont say anything, so she takes that as confirmation.
"She's gone, Bella. And shes not coming back. How long are you gonna let her hold you back?"
"You're one to talk.." I mumble to myself, glancing at her from over my shoulder; she stiffens at my words, clearly effected by them but recovers
"As Ive said before, we're alot alike. Only difference is im trying to let go. You're not. And Jacobs gonna suffer because of it..." She struts past me, not at all bothered by my stunned posture.
"Thats who you were referring to, Jacob?" I inquire, jogging up to her and matching her pace.
"Yeah. Who else would I be talking about?" Her eyebrow raises in my direction and I immediately fluster at how dense I am.
Of course shes talking about Jacob.
"Well?" She persist, that eyebrow raising further but in a teasing manner.
"Nothing! I mean no one...its-where the hell is Jake?" I finally puke out, flustering further and walking ahead. Away from this conversation.
"Right here." He comes strutting out of the thicket, scratching his head and looking rather disgruntled. "Okay, so dont panic...but I think the compass is broke..."
"Or in other words, he has no clue where the hell we are right now.."
"I know where im going, Leah! And even if we were lost, all we'd have to do is back track. Simple as that..."
"Whatever, tampon. And you, Bella," she points accusingly. "Does any of this shit look familiar to you? Cause we've been at it for at least an hour and my freakin dogs are barking..." She sits down on a nearby rock, takes off her boots and begins rubbing her feet.
"Yeah, and howling.." Jake jokes, scrunching up his nose and grinning.
I ignore it the words being spat back and forth and focus on my surroundings; I honestly couldnt tell you where or how far we are. For all I know we could of been passed it.
"Alright, I think its quite clear that we she call it a day." I concede, sighing in defeat.
"Sounds good! Im getting hungry anyways."
"Well then lead the way, back tracker. Since its, how did you say? As simple as that...?"
If it werent for the fact that their pretty much always together and they're cousins, Id gather that they really dont like each other.
"Outta my way, neck breather." Gently he glides past us with a subtle little twitch playing on lips and a determined look.
We role our eyes of course, but entertain him nonetheless.
"You guys been hearing about the grizzly sightings around here?" Leah asks out of nowhere.
"Grizzly's?"
"Yeah, Jake. Where the hell have you been? Some friends at school were talking about it a while back. Campers, hikers going missing and whatnot..."
"Cant say that I have, Bella."
"Charlie, dad, and even myself plan on looking into it. Go hunting I should say..." Leah grins with child like wonder.
"Speaking of friends, a couple of us are talking about going to the movies soon and I was wondering if you guys wanted to go?"
"Oh? Whats playing thats good?"I hear Jacob, but cant really see his face since he's walking ahead.
"Umm, not really sure, but...think they said something about The Dead Do Tell..or something like that..."
"Thats like a action/thriller right? Heard it sucked..."
"All the more reason for you guys to come with. My friends are all pretty adamant about going, but me? Not so much, id rather chill with you guys..."
"So tell them no, you're not interested..."
"Yeah, I would do that, Leah. But I kinda already agreed, remember? Besides, Ive got alot of making up to do with them for how I acted within the past few months.."
Theres a pregnant pause as we all just stop and look at one another; we all know just how I acted during those reclusive months.
"Right, well count me in I guess..."
"Leah?" I eye her expectedly and to my dismay she shakes her head.
"Id say yes, but im not too sure since you didnt give a specific date. Ive got work remember..?"
*T.I.M*
Days pass, and despite Jacobs protests, we continued with the bikes. I've relatively gotten the hang of it, which is good and bad. Good because I wont need to explain to Charlie about the many cuts and bruises I had attained, and bad because, well, the voice in my head slowly started to fade away.
Im beginning to loose hope, not to mention my insanity; Jacob and myself went hiking at least three time this week and still got nothing.
Im starting to think that place was just like the voice in my head, an hallucination.
"Let go, stop searching and know your own worth. Whats right in front of you.."
Maybe Leahs right? Maybe I should let go. Whats the point in searching for someone, who clearly doesnt want to be found? Im pretty sure she can see me, my future, what i could do next and yet, she isnt here. She hasnt called, hasnt come back, so why search?
"Happy Valentines day..." Blinking, clearly surprised by the gift dangling in front up me, I stare up at Jacob in confusion.
Is it really Valentines day? How the hell did I not notice? Surely my friends,(mainly Jessica) had to have been gushing about it in school today or something?
Im so beyond being out of it, if I didnt even notice today's date.
"Today's...Valentines day?" That grin that was once plastered onto his lips has now formed into a frown.
Great Bella, nice job.
"Crap, Jake, im so sorry. I had no idea...Ive just been-"
"-Out of it?"
"Thats a bit of an understatement apparently." I shake my head, still trying to figure out just how i managed to be so clueless."I feel like an ass..."
"Well, theres only one way to clean up your shit, ass-hole," he grins at his not-so-clever joke. "Be my Valentine..."
His words were teasing of course, but I still knew there was something more hidden within them. Theres always something more when dealing with Jake.
"And what, pray tell, would me being your Valentine entail exactly?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary," his shoulder shrug. "Slavery and such..."
I purse my lips at the prospect; being his slave for days on end wasnt really anything out of the ordinary.
"Okay." I grab for the small box of candies, muttering a polite thank you accompanied by a "friendly" hug.
"So, tomorrow...hiking or bikes?"
"Neither," he frowns or maybe scrunches his face up in confusion. "We're going to the movies, remember? I asks a little whiles back..."
"Oh yeah. You um...you still want me to go?"
"Of course I do! I'll have to call Mike later on to inform him of the plans and such, but yeah. You're more than welcome to come. Leah as well, and perhaps maybe Quil?"
"I doubt Leah will come. Shes been kind of out of lately. Really bitchy and moody. Well thats nothing new, being bitchy, but ya know what I mean.."
Tell me about it. I havent seen or talked to her since the last time we hiked, which was maybe a week ago or less. Ive tried calling and texting but she never replies. Im starting to think maybe ive done something wrong?
"Yeah, I hear ya. She hasnt returned any of my calls or texts. She hasnt said anything to you has she, Jake?"
"Not really. I mean I saw her on her way to work earlier. Look right at me and didnt utter a word. she looked...stressed. Look like she hasn't slept in weeks."
"Maybe shes sick?"
" I dont know. I mean, Its not really too out of the ordinary, the being distant and all. Since she tends to get like that from time to time, but never this long."
"Maybe we should go see her?"
"I really wouldnt. The last time she pulled this, like full on, gave me the cold shoulder and everything, was a little whiles back during the whole Sam thing. I went to go check up on her and she totally flipped shit. I know Leah better than anyone, just give her some space."
"Alright, but...im gonna text her later on. Just to make sure shes okay.."
"Okay, I'll try to see whats up with Quil.."
*T.I.M*
"Welp, I guess its just the three of us. Havent heard from Jessica, Tyler, Lauren or Eric. Angela came down with the flu so Bens over there tryna help her get well."
Theres an unusual pregnant pause after my words, where we all just stand there looking at each other.
"Cool," Jake finally says with a shrug, kicking himself off the wall.
"Great." Mike doesnt seem all that enthused but whatever. "Arent you uh, kinda too young to see this movie?" I hear Mike say before heading to the ticket booth to fetch Jacobs ticket. I shoot a quick text to Leah as I stand in line, asking if shes okay.
Im not too sure if she'll reply but im hoping.
The line gradually shuffles ahead and about two minutes later, my phone buzzes with an alert.
"Thank god..."
"Im fine, Swan. I just...need some space. I dont really feel like myself."
"Are you sick? We've been really worried."
"No, im not sick. Or at least I dont think so. Im sorry for making you guys worry, but im fine, really. I get like this sometimes, so no worries."
"Okay. Well, if you need anything, im here."
"Thanks, and you always are, Bella." I smile at the use of my name; at first it used to get under my skin when she never called me by my first name. Its was always Swan, but now, I prefer either or.
"I really wish you could of came tonight."
"Oh? Why is that?"
For some reason I can just picture the smug little smirk on her face.
"Because, it'd be less awkward. Its only Me, Jake and Mike. Both of which have some sort of feelings towards me and its just...uncomfortable. Not so much with Jake but still. At least with you it wouldnt seem so...weird.
"Righhhhtttt. Well, I'll have to make it up to you, I guess. But for now, just accept my sincerest apologies:D"
I roll my eyes at her sarcasm, picturing her playful mannerisms as she says it.
"Alright, Bella. I gotta get back to slaving but I'll call ya later..."
"Can I help you?" Startled, I look up to see the put off look on the ticket masters face.
"Oh, um yeah. Two tickets to see The Dead Do tell."
*T.I.M*
"Rose, what are you doing?" She knows exactly what im doing, or at least plan on; she saw my decision right after she saw Bella's.
"Exactly what it looks like, Alice. Im leaving. We're all leaving..."
"But we just-.."
"-Edward was right. We never," I shake my head. "I never should have came back..."
"Rose, that was nothing. You know our visions are subjective. They're not for certain..."
"That may be so, but one thing is for certain. She's either moved on without me or shes on the verge of doing so. Of forgetting me..."
She wants to forget.
I should be mad. Mad at what I saw, of Bella and Jacob...kissing. Of her moving on, but I cant be. I left and he, he was there to pick up the pieces.
I hadnt seen too much since coming back, on account of the fact that she stayed on the Reservation most of the time. But on the few times she was alone, (yesterday in particular) at night, away from the Reservation, Id see enough.
I saw how she'd giggle on the phone while talking to Jacob.
I saw how they'd talk about everything and sometimes nothing at all, just breathing.
And then I saw how relatively peaceful she had slept; the occasionally tossing or turning, but not one whimper escaped her mouth.
Im grateful for that, that shes not suffering so much these days, that her nightmares dont have a hold on her.
But Id be lying if I said it didnt hurt.
That seeing her, plug up her camera every morning, flick through countless photos she'd collected over the few weeks and always, always stop at each picture with her in it, didnt hurt.
And by her, I mean Leah Clearwater.
My guess is that it had become a habit of sorts; she did it yesterday and the day before.
She'd stare at it for minutes on end with a frown or a sigh, and it killed me. It Killed me knowing that she so clearly missed her, but not me.
I cant be mad at that, but, I can be hurt.
I had originally came back not only because she was being stupid and reckless, but because I wanted to see her. To know that she was safe. I wanted that peace of mind. I wanted to try to fix it, to make it right. But then as I watched her, I realized how selfish I was being.
Shes doing exactly what Edward wanted. What "we" all wanted, being happy. Moving on with her life.
And it wouldnt be right for me to just waltz back in, and more than likely cause her more pain, right?
"You can make a difference, Rose. Just show her-..."
"Whats the point? Shes happy now. She's...forgotten me..."
"Rose..."
"-Edwards already calling a cab for Seattle. We're leaving Washington in the morning..."
"So thats it? You're just gonna give up? Just like that...?"
I already know her angle, but I refuse to indulge her.
"I guess," I shrug nonchalantly. "I get it from you guys after all. This is what you all wanted, isnt it?"
Its a low blow. One that will hurt her dearly; the sadness radiating off of her tells me so. But I'll ignore it, just like the pain deep within my hollow chest.
"Shes happy now, Alice. Shes exactly what everybody wanted, so im going to let her keep that happiness."
I dont know what I expected when I got here yesterday, besides her being alive of course. Which she is...and then some.
"The cab will be here in a half hour," Edward calls from downstairs. All too eager to leave, like myself.
I bet he just cant wait to rub this in my face. To tell me "I told you so."
"I wouldnt do that, Rosalie..."
Whatever.
"Im going for a walk before the cab comes. You can stay here til morning, but I expect all of you at the airport before nine. If not..if you refuse, I will personally come back and drag you there myself."
I end my rant by slamming the front door to the Cullen manor, leaving no room for arguments.
I begin my track through the woods, unsure of where my feet will land me, and try to mull over my thoughts.
"What the fuck was I thinking when I came back?"
Flashback.
The plane touches down in Seattle. And unsurprisingly, who's waiting at the gates for me?
Fucking Edward, thats who! Brooding and all.
I had already seen him making a decision to "attempt" to stop me, but much like i did with the said vision, I'll ignore him.
"Rose, what the hell are you thinking?"
"I could say the same for you. How'd you even know that I was coming back?"
I already know how he knew; Alice told him of course. That or he read her mind.
"That..doesnt matter. What matters is the fact that your putting everything we've accomplished so far at risk.."
"Accomplished? We havent accomplished anything. She's losing her mind! That much is apparent from her little stunt the other day..."
"You knew this would happen, Rose. You knew she'd be broken. Its all apart of healing!"
"Part of healing! I wasnt aware that healing involved thrill riding? She nearly almost killed herself!"
"But she didnt, so..."
"I dont believe you." I shake my head in utter disbelieve. "How...how can you possible tell me that you love Bella, but yet, you act as if you dont even care?"
"Dont ever question my love for her Rose." He hisses threateningly, taking up my personal space. Im not at all worried in the slightest. "Its the only way." He mumbles more to himself. "Its easier. If I act like I care, if I act on my true feelings then it'd end me up right where I am now. In Washington. I need Bella to have a chance, Rose. Thats all I want for her, all I've ever wanted..."
"You're so full of shit, Edward, its pathetic." My lip curls in disgust as I eye him in distaste." Where's, Alice? I know shes here..."
"Shes in the car. We need to go back, Rosalie..."
"No, you need to go to hell. If you wanna go back, then be my guest, but im staying. I cant do this anymore..."
"That wasnt a request, Rose.."
His words cause me to snicker. Surely she doesnt really believe he can stop me?
"Dont...fucking... test me Edward. Im way past being your rival now. You wouldnt stand a chance against me.." I threaten back, glaring, and practically itching to show him my new tricks.
"Hey, guys. Come on." Alice interjects out of nowhere. "We're in public remember?"
"Tell Eddy to back the fuck off then. And what the hell are you doing here anyways?"
"Jasper and I," she pauses, seemingly trying to find the right words. "I didnt like what I was seeing, Bella...suffering. And then I saw her, on the bike..and the nightmares." She shakes her head. "She seems better than..before now but..I dont know. Shes being stubborn and stupid. So Jasper and I made a deal. If things didnt seem better, we'd come back."
"-Nobody's coming back! You all knew she'd suffer for a while but then she'd heal. She'd be happy. Let her be happy!"
"Let me be happy, Edward!" I scream, not caring about the stares we seem to be receiving.
"Everybody calm down!" Alice growls irritably. "Look, lets all make a deal. We stay a few days. Watch her, see how she is and all that mess, and if shes good...then we'll leave. For good."
"Fine," Edward concedes. "But no more than two days."
I dont say anything. Im not agreeing with anything but my own actions and beliefs; guess they take my silence as my confirmation.
End Flashback.
Shaking my head, I cant help but laugh at the fact that Eddy always wins in the end.
He got what he wanted, as usual; we've been here in Washington for about two days and one night.
Though we've been hauled up in Seattle for the most part, we've spent the better part of an hour or two here, at home; it wont go without a hassle with Sam.
Unfortunately, we're not allowed to come and go as we please any longer, at least not without making it known to Fido.
It wont be long before he comes snarling his demands and whatnot. Clearly they've been having a field day since our previous departure; the whole area reeks of wolf stench.
"Bunch of flee ridden mongrels"
A/N: Alright, this is the first half of the chapter. Some facts for all you confused minds out there lol. Including my own smh, I swear my head was about to explode from trying to figure this out and make some sense out of it.
So, ive come up with the following logics.
We'll say the bike scene from last chapter happened on the 7th, the hike on the 9th or 10th, and we all know valentines day is on the 14th or Feb, for those who dont know lol.
Now, on my last author note, I said it probably took a few days for Rose to return to forks, I dont know how many, so sue me!
Lol.
Okay, okay, we'll just agree that, though it generally would of took her less than a day to get to Washington, a series of unfortunate events(which wont be mentioned cause...I dont know what they are, lmao) at the airport happen, and she doesnt get there for about 3 days.
Theres your bloody logic lmao.
So, tell me your thoughts. Will she stay or will she go? And whats the deal with Leah? I have noooo clue lol.