A/N: I have no rights to Sons of Anarchy.

Chapter 36

(Episode 3:7 Widening Gyre) (A gyre is a large system of ocean currents, isn't Sutter good at naming his episodes)

Tara woke up with resolve to go and give Jax a piece of her mind, maybe tell him her secret. She dressed and headed over to the clubhouse.

When she pulled up she felt eyes on her, like everyone knew something horrible about her and had been talking about her.

She walked into the clubhouse and all eyes turned to her. She continued through to the dorm rooms, heading toward the one Jax claimed as his own. She heard a door open behind her.

"Tara," she heard Opie call. She turned. "He's not in there."

"Where is he, he didn't come home last night."

Opie refused to make eye contact with her. He shook his head. "Not sure."

Opie was one of her oldest friends and she knew this was an out and out lie. One to protect both her and Jax from the truth she would find when she walked through his door. She had to go anyway. She had to see what he had done to push her away.

She turned and walked down the hall, and through Jax's door. She found him lying in bed, smoking and saw a discarded bra and heels on the floor by the bed. Her heart stopped. She knew this is what she would find, but she needed to know who it was.

The door to the bathroom opened and Tara looked up to find Ima leaning against the door jamb, wearing one of Jax's Tshirts.

"Mornin," Ima greeted smugly.

Tara felt her heart stop. She was done. He had chosen the one person he knew she would not forgive him for. He knew exactly which knife to use to stab her in the back. The longest, sharpest one. Ima.

She looked at Jax who looked like a deer in the headlights. Then she turned, slammed the door and left. She had to get out of there.

"Tara, I'm sorry," Opie offered as she stalked past him.

Tara didn't stop and went out to the car. She had to get away from this place. As she pulled away, she saw Lyla smack Ima.

She smiled because Lyla did what she wouldn't.

Jax & Tara

Tara stood at her locker, she was just doing rounds today, seeing a few patients, so she put on her white coat and just stood there.

"Hey Tara," Rachel said coming in to the lounge.

Tara just waved.

"What's up?"

"Nothing," Tara said flatly.

Her pager went off. She checked it. "Gemma beckons," she said flatly heading out the door.

She went down to Gemma's room and found her sitting in a chair looking ashen.

"You ok?" she asked moving into the room. "Nausea?" She looked into the wastebasket at her feet and saw that Gemma ha vomited. She put her hands on her hips. "Might be the meds?"

"Its not the meds," Gemma said.

Tara picked up the wastebasket and moved it to the bathroom. "Dr. Gallagher is going to release you. We will make sure you continue to get your medication. I'm sorry Gemma, I know how hard this is for you."

"Well, at least I have a new grandson on the way," Gemma said turning and touching Tara's stomach.

Tara pulled back.

"What?"

Tara walked over and leaned against the bed. "I don't think Jax is ready for another baby."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gemma asked.

"I walked in on him and that porn slut this morning. He's been trying to push me away. It worked. We're done."

Gemma stood and came to her. "He blames himself for everything that happened to Abel. He can't handle the thought that something bad might happen to you. He's lost baby and you have to be the constant. Ride it out."

"I'm not as strong as you," Tara said. She couldn't make eye contact with Gemma. She had come so far with her and now she was out of the family.

"He wouldn't be doing this if he knew you were pregnant."

Tara stood. "He can't know. What happens with this baby is my decision. I'm serious Gemma, no one can know."

"Secret babies are a bad idea," Gemma said shaking her head.

"Please." Tara begged. She had to figure out her options, what was best for her and best for Jax and best for the baby.

"You want my silence, I need a favor."

Tara squinted at Gemma wondering what was coming.

"I need out of here. I'm going to Belfast."

"No, Gemma, no way."

"They will need me over there. I can't go away until I know Abel is safe at home."

Tara shook her head and then nodded. "Fine, this is what we do."

They sat next to each other, heads close, whispering, making their plan.

"I'm going to go pack you a bag, Gemma, we will do this just before 4."

"I love you Tara."

"Yeah," Tara said walking out the door.

Tara drove over to Jax's where all of her stuff was. She couldn't go to Gemma's, she had to act like things were normal.

She pulled in, thankful that Jax did not seem to be there and started packing a bag for Gemma.

She pulled out a bag and folded some clothes before she moved to the bathroom when she heard the front door open. "Shit," she muttered.

She continued packing some toiletries for Gemma and heard Jax speak behind her.

"You don't have to leave yet, we're headed out tonight. I just came by to pack a bag."

Tara was livid and angry that he was fine with her packing her stuff to "leave." She just continued packing, refusing to look at him or answer him.

"I'm sorry about this morning."

"It's what you wanted," Tara ground out, the sight of Ima in his shirt fresh in her mind's eye. She looked up and glared at him through the mirror. She turned and went back to the bedroom.

"I didn't want for you to get hurt," Jax said following her.

"Yes you did," Tara said, packing the clothes. "You think I am responsible for what happened to Abel. You hate me and you just can't say it," Tara said angrily. She sighed. She wanted to see how Jax would react to Gemma's theory. "Your mother thinks this is about protecting me."

"I am protecting you."

"From what?"

"Donna, Abel, Sack, take your pick."

"God you are so full of shit. You and I both know that nothing's going to happen to me. This is just about you needing a good reason for bailing, well, guess what. The PRINCE doesn't always get his way," Tara spat as she picked up the bag and left the house.

She threw the bag in the back seat and climbed in. She started the car and began to back out. Jax came out the front door and hesitated. His hesitation made her continue to pull out and drive away. Tara mentally cursed him, calling him every name in the book in her head.

She pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car. She reached back for the bag she had packed and pulled it out of the car, slamming the door. "Is this old lady enough for you, Jackson Teller?" she cursed as she turned and stalked into the hospital to commit another felony for his mother.

Jax & Tara

Tara was paged to Gemma's room by the nurse's station and went in and began a quick exam. "Her temp spiked, take her to the ice bath," she told the nurse.

She followed the gurney down the hall and saw Unser, just as they planned.

"Jesus, Gemma! What the hell happened?" Unser asked.

"Her fever spiked to 107, maybe a reaction to the new meds, we are putting her in an ice bath before she strokes out," Tara said leaving Unser in the hallway.

"Let's get her in," Tara instructed. "One, two, three," she counted for them to move her.

"Easy," an orderly instructed.

Tara tensed as Gemma hit the ice. She had to remain motionless.

"Go get Dr. Gallagher," Tara instructed the nurse next to her.

"Uh, he's in surgery."

"Then page his partner," Tara snapped. The orderlies left, followed by the nurse looking for Dr. Gallagher's partner.

"Oh, shoot," Tara said. She turned. "Can you go tell Dr. Demet I will be late for the hernia assist?" she said to the only remaining nurse. "I'll be ok," she said walking over to the ice bath. She started undressing Gemma and turned. "A little privacy," she said to the guard.

"Sure, sorry," the guard said leaving.

She watched everyone walk out. "It's clear."

"Uhhhhh, shit that's cold," Gemma moaned sitting up.

Tara turned and got her bag and handed her a towel. Gemma dried off quickly and changed. Tara handed her her white coat and led her out of the room.

"You calling Jax?" Gemma asked.

"No, you are," Tara said dialing the phone and handing it over. She swiped her card and led Gemma down a hallway.

"Its Mom, you at the hospital?" Gemma said into the phone. Tara continued leading her.

"Just listen, meet me outside the service entrance, I'll be there in a few minutes...Just go now."

Tara got her to the elevator. "Ok, I packed enough meds for a few weeks, but if you are there longer, you are going to have to find a way to fill that prescription. This elevator takes you down to the service level, the key card will get you out the back door. There's cash in the pocket, my car's in the service lot if you need it." Tara looked down the hall worriedly.

"I'm not sure the feds are going to believe I did this at gunpoint."

"You may as well have," Tara joked.

"And I'll keep my promise, no one will know about that baby."

"It's my decision, Gemma."

"What I suggest, is you wait til Jax gets back, look into Abel's eyes before you do anything."

The speaker beeped. "Security..."

"I better go," Tara said looking down the hall.

Gemma pulled her into a hug and Tara held on tight until the elevator beeped. "I'll be back in a week," Gemma assured her.

"Yeah," Tara said, trying to hold her tears. She turned and walked down the hallway, turning to look at Gemma one more time before the doors closed. She went around the corner to find Margaret Murphy.

"Where's Gemma Teller?"

"I...uh...I don't know, she pulled a gun on me and took my key card."

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"I don't really care," Tara said getting defensive.

Margaret pulled her into a supply room. "You're committing a crime. Do you understand that?"

Tara had to tell her. It was the only way to get Margaret on her side. "That Irishman that killed the Prospect, he kidnapped Jax's son. It wasn't in the papers, the cops, they don't give a shit. It's all on Jax and the club to find him and Gemma wasn't going to jail until she knew that baby was safe. You know, maybe there was nothing I could have done to stop him from taking Abel, I don't know, but helping Gemma was my way of making up for it. And I'll deny all of it. And if the cops don't believe me, they I guess I'll suffer the consequences." She looked at Margaret for a moment and understood suddenly that this woman had been trying to help her, as much as Gemma had, in a different way, but Margaret was on her side. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"I know you are trying to help me."

Tara walked toward the door.

"Wait," Margaret said and as Tara turned, she felt Margaret's fist hit her cheek.

"Oh," Tara said falling against the wall. "What the hell are you doing?"

"They'll never believe Gemma didn't slug you," Margaret said handing her an icepack. "Let's go."

Tara could hardly believe what happened and stood in shocked silence for a minute before putting the ice pack to her cheek and following her.

Jax & Tara

Tara followed Margaret back to Gemma's room and was questioned by a guard. She told the story of Gemma pulling a gun on her and hitting her.

"I tried to go after her, but she must have used the key card," Tara explained, holding the ice pack to her cheek.

"I saw Dr. Knowles trying to pursue her, figured it was more important to tend to her wound than to do your job," Margaret explained.

After a while of questioning and paperwork that goes with a guarded patient escaping, Margaret suggested Tara head home and Tara jumped at the prospect of sleeping. She called the shop and got one of the prospects to pick her up and take her home. She climbed into their bed and held the pillow that still smelled of Jax and fell into a dreamless sleep.