Our lips connected again, and this time I wasn't swept up by the heat of the moment. The heat was certainly between us, as his hands carefully began to unbutton my shirt, but not in the same way. The delicate and meticulous way his lips danced against my own made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

His hands, so impossibly soft for a boy, brushed along my shoulders and pushed the shirt down my arms. I shook my hands and let it pool onto the bed before I brushed it onto the floor. Out of instinct, my face stained a dark, dark shade of red.

Jasper groaned. "Damn it, do you have to do that?"

I blinked at him in surprise. "W-what?" Was I doing something wrong? If so it was his fault, because he totally leading us right now.

"Blush." He answered me simply as his arms tightened around my back. "It's so fucking sexy it's a crime."

Before I could say anything, he reengaged us into action. His mouth shoved roughly against mine, and I nearly gasped at the sudden attack. His hands unhooked my bra as he did so, and I bit his bottom lip and sucked on it as he totally removed another piece of my clothing.

Jasper moaned huskily and gently pulled away from me, scrambling to get out of his pants. I took the hint and struggled out of mine as well. I took a deep breath of mental preparation and then pushed my underwear off, adding it to the mingled pile on the floor. I watched his fall on top of them.

"Bella," he whispered intensely. "Look at me, Bella. Don't be shy about it- not now."

I had seen pictures of a naked male before. Not those cartoon ones in books either. Lets just say, old computer had bad pop-up blockers. I braved what I had figured would be a quick glance at him.

Once I took in his full, uncovered body, I found it hard to look away. Just like his eyes were practically devouring me, I was hungrily gazing at him. After a while, Jasper's smoldering blue eyes locked into mine. He whispered sincerely, "You're beautiful, Bella. So much better then anyone else."

"Anyone else?" I echoed- distracted by his hands as they pushed me onto my back and began to roam my stomach and chest.

"Yeah." He answered simply, starting to kiss a line of burning butterfly kisses on my neck.

"There were others?" I asked him. I didn't sound angry, or surprised- just jealous. Very jealous. The painful sort of jealous.

Jasper mumbled half-hearted, "Jane and Alice."

Was I surprised? Not at all.

Did I want to get more information about that? Hell yes.

But later. Right now, there was only one thing that I wanted. Only one thing that my teenage body would allow me to want. I wanted him- the boy who owned the pieces of my heart- to give me the sweet friction my body was singing for.

"Jasper, come on already." I whimpered impatiently.

He stopped sucking on my neck and nestled himself in between my legs. He warned me, "Don't scream, Carlisle will come in here." Jasper looked sad and regretful with the thought that he was about to hurt me.

I kissed his shoulder and muttered, "Just do it."

I had prepared myself for the pain. Really, I did try. But as he made the first thrust inside of me and ripped the barrier of skin that had been there, I honestly wasn't ready at all

I couldn't help but gasp. Said gasp was dangerously close to becoming the very scream we needed to avoid. To stop myself, I did the first thing I could do. I bit Jasper's shoulder, which was right by my mouth. It certainty distracted me, but only because I tasted blood.

Startled, I let go of him. Wide-eyed with shock, I opened my mouth to apologize. He just kissed me, forcing me to remain silent. He whispered reassuringly, "It's fine. It's not the first time I've been bitten."

Hearing that made my cheeks flush. He checked, "Are you okay now?"

Defining 'okay' would have been wonderful. My body felt stretched and uncomfortable, but my heart was quite happy. I felt very peaceful, though. I was perfectly okay with this, and us being together on such a trusting and intimate level was enough to make anything okay.

So with that in mine, I answered, "I'm okay now."

I brought our lips together and tangled my fingers in his soft, curly hair as he began to build his rhythm.

--------------------

A while later, I would guess by the bright streetlights shining outside that it was eight or nine, the two of us were under his covers together.

You know how people online, and on TV, and in books make you think that you're going to feel complete, and wonderful, and blissful after you have sex for the very first time with the boy you love?

Yeah, they lied.

I hurt in so many places it was ridiculous. Some muscles I didn't even know I had felt like they had been yanked and twisted in all the wrong positions. It was foreign, and painful, and weird- and I hated it.

I felt a little dirty, too. I didn't regret this decision. I wouldn't have let myself make it if I was going to eventually wish I hadn't done it. But I did have two parents who harped at me my entire life about avoiding getting too serious too soon. Just thinking about what they would think if they found out about this felt like wet sand being smeared across my body.

It took me a while to realize the last thing that I was not mentally head-desking about. Jasper had not been wearing a condom. We had used zero protection.

Oh. My. Sweet. Jesus.

My eyes started to sting with tears, and I sighed shakily, chocking back a sob.

Jasper had been quiet for a long time now. I wasn't sure as to why, but then again it was Jasper. However, the sound of my sudden distress alerted to the fact that he wasn't in a dream world. I had known he wasn't asleep, because his hand never stopped massaging my body in some place this last hour or so.

The instant my almost-tears noise escaped me, Jasper snapped into the world of the mentally alert. He propped himself up on his elbow and peeked at me from over my shoulder. His voice was taut with fear when he asked, "Are you crying?"

I tried so very hard to hold it in when I whispered, "No." My voice held a tremor for those two simple letters. Fuck it, I didn't want to hold it in. A half of a second later, I started to blubber and amended, "Y-yes."

He paled considerably and whispered, "Why? Why are you crying, Bella? You said you wanted this."

"Just because." I whimpered. "Because of e-everything."

Jasper rolled me onto my back and wrapped his strong arm around my waist, holding me close to him. He tried to soothe me, his voice gentle and reassuring. "Hey, calm down, okay? Don't talk yet- just calm down."

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his neck. He set his chin on my head and held me for a while until I had pulled my emotional roller coaster to a halt.

When I had settled down a little bit, he kissed my wet cheeks until they were dry. I smiled just so very slightly at him. His eyes shined with the anxiety he was known for, and his voice shook this time. "Are you okay?"

I swallowed hard and decided, "Yes."

"What was all that about?" He asked tensely.

Our eyes met, and I shivered. "I think too much, that's all."

I wasn't going to push all my worries onto him. They were insignificant. Aspirin would help the pain. Charlie and Renee were never going to find out and cast judgmental looks my way. And… well, it was only once! Surely we were fine?

I had thoroughly deluded myself into a mock peace. I smiled broadly and insisted, trying to cheer us both, "I just think too much."

"Well don't fucking do that to me." He snapped, suddenly sounded extremely harsh. I felt my mouth fall open in shock. He realized what he had done and sighed, bringing his anger down a little so he could explain properly. "When Alice and I… God, it was horrible. She cried for like three hours."

He closed his eyes and shook his head, looking half sick. I flinched as I sat up, but I did sit up. I asked gently, "So what had happened?"

He cringed. "We were together for a while, Bella. Quite a while, considering how I get with people. It was at a party of hers. Marcus convinced me to try one beer. I'm such a fucking loser- I couldn't stop once I got started."

His eyes widened a little bit. "It's a little hazy after that. Alice somehow had my shirt and belt off in the living room. Tanya got all pissy and told us to take it upstairs. Then next thing I remember clearly was her waking me up all freaked out. There was some blood on her sheets, and she couldn't find half of our clothes."

His head shook a little bit. "Just try not to cry if… if we do this again. You're going to give me a heart attack."

I hugged him and apologized, "I'm sorry. I had no idea."

He laughed a little. "Don't be sorry. There's no way you could have known." After a few seconds of just holding one another, he announced, "I'm hungry."

"Me, too." I agreed. We had not eaten since this morning!

That was all he had to hear. Jasper rolled off the bed and pulled his dresser open. I looked at him with a new set of eyes- after what we had just done. I didn't see Jasper Hale anymore. I saw simply my Jasper.

I also saw a small flash of red, knowing that he had been someone else's before me. Never Alice's, from what I just heard- but Jane's. How long had he said his relationship with Jane lasted? From the first year of high school?

How many times had he been with her? I'd have to ask him later. He would tell me truthfully, that was one of the great things about him. He was always honest with me.

It was sure going to make me a little hot and bothered at school when I saw him after today. I'd probably never be able to look at him without thinking of his strong, pale chest. And his rippling back muscles. And that tight butt…

"Enjoying the view, Bella?" He asked casually, not even having to look at me to know I was staring at him. I rolled my eyes, blushing furiously, and chucked a pillow at him. He laughed and grabbed a pile of clothes, returning to the bed. He handed me a shirt and grinned.

I took the blue button-up and glanced quizzically at him. "And I have this why?"

He smiled at me. "Because you're wearing it." His eyes darkened, and he whispered, "I want you to have me on you all night."

My cheeks flamed so badly it hurt. How had I gone all this time not knowing he was such a deeply sensual person? Hot damn, I sure was one blind bitch.

I rather liked the idea of having him on me all night. Grinning to myself, I slipped my arms into the shirt's quarter sleeves, and began to button them. The shirt was already too big on me, but I left the top two undone just to taunt him. His eyes were both disapproving and full of desire as I wobbled towards the door of his room.

He hastily stepped into some pajama pants and darted after me. "Wait!"

I halted and leaned against the wall. He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. "I don't own a brush, sorry." That didn't surprise me at all. When he was satisfied I looked slightly more presentable, he opened the door for me.

We started down the hallway, and both Carlisle and Rosalie turned their heads at our approaching footsteps. I had forgotten Carlisle was here. Seeing the look of horror on his face when he saw me- wearing nothing but Jasper's shirt- could have sent me crawling under a rock.

"Bella! You too?" He wailed unhappily. Rosalie punched him seriously hard in the arm for that comment.

He looked at her in shock for a second before declaring in an affronted tone, "That hurt."

Rose glared at him for a second before looking at the both of us. I was surprised that she looked a little sad. "I put leftovers in the fridge for you guys."

I was quite more interested in Carlisle's comment. Me too? I glanced at Jasper for some clarification. He was sharing a hopeful look with Rosalie. She sighed, shrugging once, before turning her attention back to the movie she was watching. Carlisle frowned bitterly before he did the same.

Jasper took my hand and led me into the kitchen. The second the door was closed, I asked, "What's all that about?"

He pulled two large plates of lasagna out of the fridge and crossed over to the microwave. He inserted one of them before answering, "Rosalie slept with Caius yesterday. That's what my and Carlisle's fight earlier was about."

"Oh." I answered quietly. I wasn't in any position to make accusations or assumptions about her after what I just did myself.

He shrugged tensely, then started rummaging the pantry for something. I set two glasses on the table and, smiling to myself, poured some Coke into each. He shot me a side glance and smirked but didn't address the fact that I had willingly chosen his drink of choice.

He really was Superman.

I watched with a smile as he poured a packet of yellow powder into a large bowl, added hot water, and started to stir. He announced, "Tomorrow we can be igneous together."

We both chuckled as he set the bowl of to-be lemon Jell-O in the fridge. I replaced the lasagna in the microwave with the cold one and asked sheepishly, "How is your shoulder?"

"In pain." He answered simply. "It's still sort of bleeding."

I glanced at him in horror. "Oh my God, really?"

"Yep. I bet it's going to scar." He cheerfully asserted as he pulled a First Aid kit out of the cupboard under the sink. I was almost too embarrassed to think straight, but I suddenly had to know something.

"And you're okay with that for what reason, exactly?"

He slapped a large bandage on before grabbing my hand and twirling me against his chest. His eyes burned with an intensity I've rarely seen. "Because, you've marked me, m'lady. Now I will belong to you forever."

I hugged him close to me and asked happily, "No matter what?"

He gently lifted my head, brushing his lips against mine softly. His warm breath made my face tingle, and he promised sincerely, "No matter what."

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