A/N: Thank you so much to everyone! The day after I posted the last chapter, I woke up to about a dozen wonderful emails about reviews, and more came throughout the day! All of you are fantastic, and I can't thank you enough! Enjoy the chapter!
P.S. You guys were supposed to get this yesterday but the wifi was being stupid, sorry.
~DW
Another wave of nausea comes on when I remember. Mum is in the other universe – I'm never going to see her again. Everything she did for me – she saved my life – and I never even thanked her properly. Mickey is gone too. I just hope they're happy. I take a deep, shaky breath. The Doctor wipes tears from my eyes gently. I didn't even realize I was crying.
I sit there crying silently in the Doctor's arms. He holds me close and murmurs comforting things in my ear.
My family is gone, and I'm never going to see them again. They're good as dead now. Again.
Distantly, I hear footsteps coming from behind me, and a hand falls to my shoulder. The Doctor looks up.
"Max," Dr. M says softly. I suppose I can call her Mum now. There's no one else left to hold that title.
"I'm fine," I mumble, my mouth on autopilot. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Maximum…"
"Stop it. Just…I don't want to talk about it," I say hoarsely, slightly louder than before. The Doctor looks at me carefully, pushing my hair out of my face.
"We should get you cleaned up. I want to make sure you're okay," he says quietly, touching the cut on my forehead tenderly. I wince.
"Ouch."
"Sorry. Come on, we're going back to the TARDIS, I can fix you up in the infirmary."
I start to nod, but think better of it. The pounding in my head is already bad enough.
"I'm coming with you," Mum says. The Doctor nods, having already expected this.
"Go get Ella and Ari, too. I think it's best that Maya stays here for now."
"Alright. I'll meet you there," Mum agrees. She leans down and kisses me on the cheek.
"I'm so sorry, honey. Really."
"Yeah," I mumble. She gives me a sympathetic look as she leaves the room. I sigh, rubbing my eyes tiredly.
Wordlessly, the Doctor helps me stand, keeping his arm around my waist. I cling to him, barely able to stand upright as my vision goes blurry for a moment. I blink, trying to clear it up.
"I think you might have a concussion," he says worriedly, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and scanning me over quickly. I wince at the loud noise and bright light.
"Yeah, definitely a concussion. Want me to go get the TARDIS and come back for you?"
"No," I say quickly, grabbing onto his sleeve tightly. "No. Don't leave me alone."
"Okay. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere, Rose, I promise," he murmurs. I loop one of my arms around his neck and he helps me limp over to the lift, which opens as soon as he presses the button. There aren't many people left to use it, after all. I just want to get out of this awful place. I decide immediately I never want to come back again.
Inside, I lean half on him, half on the wall, closing my eyes. A sudden tiredness has overcome me.
"No, don't do that," the Doctor tells me. "Stay awake."
"Sorry," I apologize, blinking.
"Just don't fall asleep on me, you might not wake up."
I stare blankly at the wall, and something hits me. The tears threaten to start flowing again. My cheeks flush – I'm done crying. I'm supposed to be the strong one. I can't lose my head like this.
"Oh my god, what am I going to tell Angel?" I gasp, my hand flying to cover my mouth. I bite my lip. "She finally has a family and they're ripped away from her again..."
"Hey," the Doctor says, rubbing my arm comfortingly. "Everything is going to be okay. She's strong, Angel. She learned from you, after all." He smiles, and I make a lousy attempt to do the same, but it's almost as if my muscles have forgotten how.
Finally, we've reached the right floor, and conveniently enough, the TARDIS is within view as the lift doors slide open. I've never been happier to see her, yet I can't even crack a smile. The Doctor readjusts his grip on my waist and we wobble over to the doors together. I slump tiredly on the door while he unlocks it. Then he looks at me, reaching out to grab my waist again, and frowns.
"This isn't working," he says. In a swift movement, he sweeps me off my feet. He carries me bridal-style through the doors and down the corridors to the infirmary, setting me down on one of the white beds. I automatically begin breathing through my mouth. I might be able to stand being in here now, after the many accidents (broken bones and cuts) I've had on various planets, but I still can't stand the medicinal smell that accompanies it.
The Doctor fumbles around in some drawers, pulling out a toothpaste-like tube and a bottle that must be filled with pills. He pulls out his glasses to read the labels.
"Here we go. Take two of these and you'll be good as new in a couple of hours. You'll be a bit tired, these will put you right to sleep for a few hours or so," the Doctor says, pulling a bottle of water out of a mini refrigerator attached to the cabinets and handing it to me along with two small orange pills. I swallow them, gulping down the water.
"This is just going to heal up your cut," he says, holding up the tube. He unscrews the cap and squeezes some blue gel into his fingers, and then gently rubs it into my forehead. Then he replaces the cap and takes out some gauze.
"I'm just going to wrap it," he explains, unraveling some of the roll. He rips it off at one point and wraps the strip around my head like a sweatband.
"So I'll be up and ready to go in an hour or two," I clarify. He shakes his head.
"No. You need a few hours rest, superior biology or not," he says, finishing with the bandage.
"I'm sure this is attractive," I sigh.
"Did Rose Tyler just make a joke?" the Doctor asks with a half-smile. The corners of my mouth turn up ever so slightly. Then guilt floods through me when I think of Mum in the parallel universe.
I yawn loudly. The Doctor rinses his hands off and replaces the medicines he gave me, closing the drawer carefully. The TARDIS starts humming loudly.
"I think Dr. M is outside with Ella and Ari," the Doctor says. "I'll go let them in."
I start to get up, but the Doctor stops me.
"I don't think so. You need to rest, Rose."
"No!" I protest, wanting to go with him.
"Yes!"
"Don't leave me here alone," I say, feeling childish. My cheeks flush slightly. I don't want him to go. I feel like I might never see him again. Ridiculous worries circle through my mind, like maybe the Void didn't close completely and he'll get sucked in.
The Doctor's gaze softens, and he kisses me on the forehead, careful to avoid my injury. I reach out and grab his hand, holding onto it tightly.
"I'll be back in less than three minutes," he assures me. "You can count the seconds if you want. Try to go to sleep. I promise I'll be here when you wake up."
Reluctantly, I release my grip on his hand. He squeezes mine one last time before exiting the room. Everything is silent besides the gentle hum of the TARDIS.I yawn again, frowning at myself. I pinch my arm, trying to keep myself awake. But as much as I try, sleep slowly comes up from behind and swallows me into darkness.
~DW~
I'm clinging to the lever tightly, but my grip is slipping fast. I can hear the Doctor screaming my name, telling me to hold on, and with every last bit of my strength, I try. But it's not enough.
My sweaty palms slip, and I go hurtling toward the Void and break-neck speed. The Doctor shouts my name desperately as I tumble through the air violently.
Then suddenly, I crash into something. My insides are twisted, and I feel like I'm suffocating, but then everything is over and the world is silent. My wide eyes take in the room at the darker Torchwood – I'm in the parallel universe.
I wrestle the dimension cannon from Pete's grasp, slamming down on the button, but nothing happens.
"It's closed. The Void is closed. His plan worked. The Doctor did it," he says, like he doesn't quite believe it. I freeze, dropping the cannon and turning to stare at the wall just a foot away from me.
"No," I whisper, my heart pounding painfully in my chest. Tears build up quickly, spilling over. I don't even have the chance to try and hold them back.
"No!" I shout, kicking the wall. My foot goes straight through the plaster, creating a huge hole. "Take me back! Take me back!"
~DW~
"Rose! Rose, wake up!"
My eyes fly open, my heart racing. I sit up quickly, nearly bumping heads with the Doctor. I stare at him.
"Oh, god…" I breathe, throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him as close to me as I can. He hugs me tightly.
"Hey, it's okay. It was just a bad dream, I'm right here," he says, rubbing my back. I bury my face in his neck, breathing him in and calming myself down. Then he pulls back and examines the bandage around my forehead.
"How are you feeling? Does your head hurt at all?"
"Not as much, anymore," I tell him. "Just a bit of a headache."
He nods, reaching for the bandage, and I lean my head toward him. He unravels it slowly.
"Healed right up, not even a scar," he says, rubbing his thumb across my forehead gently. "That never fails to amaze me, you know. Your healing capabilities…"
"Am I allowed out of bed now?" I ask, rolling my eyes before he starts rambling.
"Yes," he says, smiling slightly. "Your mother has been waiting for you to wake up. I sent her off to the television room with Ella and Ari."
"We need to go get Angel," I say quietly, rubbing my eyes. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, stretching, and stand slowly. I bite my lip nervously. "What do I even say? How do I even begin to explain this to her?"
"I'm so sorry, Rose," the Doctor says sadly. "I mean…if you want…I could find a way to get you and Angel safely through the Void…"
"No," I say shortly. "I told you. I'm not going anywhere. We can ask Angel what she wants, but no matter what, I am staying with you."
"Are you sure?" he asks, looking slightly scared of my response. As if I'd say no.
"I'm positive. Mum lived for years without me, before she even knew I existed, and Angel managed on her own with Total. They'd be fine without me." I take his hand. "You, I'm not so sure about." He cracks a tiny smile.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you want to stay with me so badly? You're practically giving up your family, Rose…"
"Because…" I struggle to look for the words, looking up at his confused expression.
He really has no idea, the TARDIS tells me. I contemplate my options for a moment. I remember Ella's words:
You and Fang went on for so long pretending you didn't feel that way about each other. Things might have ended differently if you had both stopped being stupid about it earlier. Don't let this slip away from you too.
The Doctor opens his mouth to say something else, but in a sudden movement, I cut him off, tugging his lips down to meet mine. He freezes in place, and I pull back quickly.
"Sorry…" I begin, staring into his wide eyes, but something clicks in his head and this time, he's the one cupping my chin and pulling me in for a fervent kiss. My eyes flutter closed and for the first time in a long time, I feel the happy butterflies in my stomach. My heart starts beating faster, and I can feel the Doctor's hearts beating steadily through his suit jacket. After a few breathless moments, we both pull back.
"We should go get Angel," he says, and I nod, fiddling with the lapels of his jacket.
"Yeah. She needs to know," I sigh, dreading the oncoming conversation. "She'll be so upset…" My voice cracks and I feel like I have to cry, but I just don't have any tears left in me.
The Doctor kisses my forehead softly.
"Come on," he says, tugging my sleeve gently and sliding his hand down my arm to lace our fingers together. We walk out of the room. For some reason, I had imagined the atmosphere would have been happier the first time I kissed the Doctor. Go figure, it would be the opposite.
~DW~
For once, even the TARDIS seems sad. The ride is smooth and gentle, not the shaking, exiting one that it usually is. The Doctor doesn't bound around the console in a crazy whirl, just moves fast enough to hit the right buttons and switches. I sit on the captain's chair, staring at the door, and dreading the moment I'm going to have to open it.
I know we've arrived when the Doctor approaches me silently.
"Are you ready?"
"I'm never going to be ready. Let's just get this over with."
He nods, taking my hand and leading me to the door. It swings open slowly, without a creak or scratch or any kind of noise at all. Sarah Jane, Luke, Angel, Total, and K9 all stand anxiously outside the TARDIS, beaming when they see us.
"You did it!" Luke cries happily, and Sarah Jane and Angel are clapping, but it dies quickly when they see the looks on our faces. The color drains from Angel's face, Luke goes wide-eyed, and Sarah Jane and Total frown.
"What happened?" Sarah Jane asks, barely loud enough to hear.
"Mum?" Angel asks, sounding scared. My eyes flicker over to her, and I suppress the urge to cry again. Oh, god.
"Angel," I begin carefully, my voice thick. I bend down to match her height, placing one hand on her shoulder and using the other to wipe the wetness from her face. Tears have started spilling over, and she doesn't even know why yet.
"Do you remember when Uncle Mickey left?" She nods, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes.
"Grandmum is gone, too. She's with him now. I'm so sorry, sweetie…"
She gasps, her hand flying to cover her mouth, and the tears start coming faster. She throws her arms around my neck and cries into my shoulder. I close my eyes, shaking my head.
"Oh, not Jackie…" Sarah Jane whispers, her own flow of tears starting. Her arm is around Luke, who cries silently beside her. Total just looks shocked, his mouth hanging open, like her can't quite believe it.
"Angel," the Doctor says softly, kneeling beside me and placing a hand gently on her back. She looks up, her eyes wet and red, and sniffles.
"Rose and I were talking; earlier…what you need to understand is this. Mickey and Jackie are in a parallel universe, with a living version of Pete Tyler. That dimension is sealed off from this one, but if I can find even a small little tear…it's nearly impossible, but I think…just maybe, and that's a big maybe, there might be a way to send you to them…if you want."
"But what about you? You'll be here on your own," she says, wiping her eyes.
"No, he wouldn't be," I say softly. "Because I would be staying here." Her eyes widen and she shakes her head quickly.
"No. No, I'm staying with you. I've practically just found you again, I'm not leaving," she says, throwing her arms around me again. The last part of her sentence is muffled in the fabric of my shirt.
"Shh," I say, rubbing her back gently. "It's okay, you don't have to go." She pulls back slightly and nods.
"But…is there any way to say goodbye?" she asks, looking at the Doctor hopefully. He thinks for a moment.
"I'll do everything I can, Angel," he tells her. She pulls away from me and throws her arms around him. He hugs her tightly.
"Thank you," she whispers. "Thank you."
"Sarah Jane, can I talk to you privately for a minute?" I ask her. She nods, gesturing for me to follow her out of the room into the hall. We speak in hushed tones.
"I'm so sorry, Rose," she begins. I hold up a hand.
"It's…it's fine. I'll be okay. I just have a favor to ask of you."
"Anything. What do you need?"
I sigh. "I'm going to ask Angel to come along with us in the TARDIS…but I don't think she'll want to. She's had enough of everyday life where she needs to run away from bad guys – that's exactly why she turned down the offer last time. But the thing is, now, she and Total don't have anywhere to go..."
"Of course I'll take her in," Sarah Jane interrupts, not even letting me ask the question. I smile gratefully, pulling her in for a hug.
"I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you so much," I say. "I can never repay you for this."
"That won't be necessary at all."
I pull back, nodding. I know better than to argue with her. We enter the room again. Angel's tears have slowed a bit, the Doctor trying to comfort her, and Luke sits on the floor petting Total. K9 stand by, ready in case anyone needs him.
"Angel?" I ask carefully. She looks up at me, the Doctor following her gaze.
"Yeah?"
"There are some people inside that want to see you," I tell her, nodding at the TARDIS. Her face screws up in confusion.
"What? Who?"
"Just…come with me, okay? You too, Total." She nods, holding out her hand. I take it, leading her through the TARDIS doors. Total trots along next to us, but he's still not as giddy as he usually is. He doesn't even have the energy to be annoying. The Doctor follows right behind us, motioning for Sarah Jane, Luke, and K9 to follow. The four of them stop in the console room, and the Doctor gestures for me to go on without them.
I lead Angel and Total down the hall to the television room, where the Doctor told me the others were earlier. I crack the doors open, pushing it the rest of the way. Mum, Ella, and Ari look up from the couch quickly. The room is silent – they hadn't even been watching anything. Angel gasps.
"Angel! Total!" Ella cries, rushing up to them. She pulls Angel into a tight hug, which is returned. Ari and Mum approach more cautiously, unsure of what the reaction will be. Total growls at them.
"Stop it, Total. They're okay," I say. He quiets down, but still sniffs at them, distrusting. Ella finally releases Angel, who's completely shocked, and goes for Total. She picks him up and scratches him behind the ears.
Angel stares at Mum and Ari, frowning.
"Why are they here, Mum? She…she works for the School!" Angel cries, backing up into me and taking a fistful of my shirt. "And him! He's one of Jeb's clones!"
"Angel, it's okay. I promise you, they wouldn't be in the TARDIS if they weren't."
Mum speaks up first. "Angel, I'm so sorry…I know you think that I was working against you, but I promise, I wasn't. Working undercover in the School isn't easy, and I would have to pretend to be on their side more often than not. I never actually was, though. I don't even pretend to work for them anymore, they think I'm dead."
"She runs Torchwood, now," Ari adds helpfully. "I work for her."
"What's Torchwood?"
"We protect the Earth from aliens and stuff," Ari explains vaguely. Angel nods.
"I guess…I guess you're okay, then." Ari smiles at her, and so does Mum, who holds out her arms. Angel gives her a quick hug, still slightly unsure of them. She and Ari start to go for a hug, but settle on a handshake instead.
I suppose I actually still have a family. It's mine, I found it. It's small, and broken…but still good.
~DW~
For months, the Doctor searches for the smallest tear between the universes, trying to find a way to say goodbye to Mum and Mickey. During that time, we drop Mum, Ella, and Ari back on Earth, to try and reform Torchwood. Maya didn't seem happy that we left them to do it on their own, but the Doctor did hint at a few things to help them get started. ("Try being nice to the aliens. Not all of them want to take over the planet.") I exchanged phone numbers with all four of them, even Maya, so they could contact us if anything went wrong.
I checked with Angel about her living circumstances, making sure she was okay with staying at Sarah Jane's with Luke (she was, of course). Sarah Jane worked out all the legal issues, and we were good to go. However, Angel had been staying on the TARDIS while the Doctor was doing all his searching.
As much as we seemed on the road to recovery, the loss still hurt all of us badly. Even the Doctor seemed a bit sad that he would never have a cup of tea from Mum again. Angel had nightmares sometimes (she had taken to falling asleep in my room with me) and I would have to comfort her. But I didn't sleep much at all – when I did, the nightmares were awful. I couldn't even sleep in the same room as Angel anymore because I didn't want her to worry. I sat with her until she fell asleep, and then went across the hall to a new room that the TARDIS made for me. When Angel had a bad dream, the TARDIS would tell me so I could go wake her and calm her down.
More often than not, when I had a nightmare, the Doctor would be the one waking me up. He would murmur comforting things, stroking my hair and calming me down until I fell asleep again. It got to the point where he did his Time Lord mind tricks to me and Angel every night so we could get some sleep.
We didn't talk much about the time we kissed, but both of us knew something had changed between us. We didn't spend a lot of time apart – while he was researching ways to contact Mum, I was usually there in the console room, just watching him, because I didn't want to let him out of my sight. I couldn't have him disappearing on me too. He kissed me on the forehead and the cheek much more often (though still not as much as I'd like), and on extremely rare occasions, a quick peck on the lips (That's only happened about twice. It's been two months.) We didn't tell anyone about it – the only one who knew was Angel, because she walked in on us one day. I'm almost positive her squeal could be heard to the end of the universe. That was the first time the three of us really smiled since Canary Wharf.
I'm sitting with Angel one morning (at least according to the Earth-time clocks on the TARDIS), braiding her hair, when there's a knock on the door.
"Come in," I call. The Doctor pokes his head through the door.
"Can I talk to you?"
"Yeah, sure. Hold onto that, Angel," I say, holding out the bottom of her braid in her face. She takes it from me, holding it between her thumb and forefinger. I walk over to the Doctor, who opens the door for me to walk through, then closes it carefully behind me.
"What's up?"
"I found a crack," he says. "Between the universes." My heart picks up slightly.
"We can say goodbye?" I ask, making sure I understand him correctly. He nods.
"Yeah. But we need to do it soon – it's sealing quickly. The sooner we do it, the longer you'll have, and I can't promise you any more than a few minutes."
"You don't understand," I say hoarsely. "A few minutes are everything. Thank you."
"Meet me in the console room as soon as you can," he says, kissing me on the cheek. I open the door to my room, and Angel is already standing next to the door waiting. She's undone her hair, fiddling with a strand of it.
"How many times do I have to tell you not to eavesdrop?"
"Sorry," she says, not meaning it at all. "Is it true? Really? We get to say goodbye?"
"Yeah. Come on," I say, putting an arm around her shoulder. "We've only got a few minutes."
We make our way to the console room, where the Doctor is flicking switches and buttons.
"Have you moved the TARDIS?" I ask.
"We're in orbit around a supernova," he explains. "We need energy to send projections to the other universe. I'm burning up a sun."
"Is there anything we can do?"
"Just concentrate on Jackie, really think of her. You'll probably be good at this, Angel. Send her a message with your mind. Tell her to follow your voice."
She nods, closing her eyes. The Doctor and I watch her; confident she'll be able to pull through. Sure enough, a hologram of Mum appears, right in front of us. She looks sad.
"Rose? Angel?" she gasps.
"Hi, Mum," I say thickly. Angel opens her eyes, looking ready to cry. I put my hands on her shoulders.
"Hi, Grandmum," she says, waving.
"You two look like ghosts."
"Can you fix that?" I ask, turning to the Doctor. He nods, flicking a switch.
"Better?"
"Yeah, thanks."
"Is that himself?" Mum asks, raising an eyebrow. I nod, offering a small smile. "Tell him to get his arse over here."
The Doctor rolls his eyes good-naturedly, coming to stand behind me and putting his hand on my shoulder.
"Hello, Jackie."
"You'd better be taking care of my girls."
"I think they're taking more care of me, actually."
"That's my girls," Mum smiles proudly. Angel smiles, but she's started crying silently.
"Hey, now," Mum says softly. "Don't cry." She reaches for Angel, but the Doctor shakes his head.
"I'm sorry. We're only an image. No touch."
"Course not," Mum sighs. "I figured." She pauses. "I hardly know what to say."
"Where are we?" the Doctor asks. "Where did the gap come out?"
"We're in Norway," Mum says distastefully. "It's called Darlig Ulv Stranden."
"Dalek?" I repeat, wide eyed. What a coincidence that is…and not a fun one.
"No. Darlig."
"That's Norwegian," the Doctor puts in. "It means bad. The whole phrase translates to Bad Wolf Bay."
We share a knowing look. Stupid Bad Wolf – it's haunting me even now.
"You've still got Pete, yeah? And Mickey? You're doing alright?" I ask, suppressing my own flow of tears.
"And the baby," Mum says, smiling. My jaw drops.
"You're not…"
"Three months gone," she says. "Another Tyler on the way."
"Oh, Mum…that's wonderful! Congratulations!"
"Little boy. We're calling him Max."
That's enough to send the tears spilling over.
"Oh my god, Mum…"
"Will you tell him about us?" Angel asks, trying to wipe tears from her eyes and failing miserably. I run my fingers through her hair, trying to comfort her.
"Of course I'm going to tell him about you, love! Angel Tyler - the sweetest girl I ever had the pleasure of calling my granddaughter, and Rose Tyler - Defender of the Earth. Even the Doctor."
"Just don't forget us," Angel says.
"I'll never forget you. Both of you – you changed my life, you showed me so many things." She pauses, taking a deep breath, clearly holding back her own tears.
"And the two of you," Mum says, pointing at the Doctor and me in turn. "Need to stop dancing around your feelings. Get over yourselves and kiss already."
Angel grins mischievously through her tears. Mum's jaw drops.
"Really? You're together now?"
"Well, I suppose," the Doctor shrugs, smiling. I can't help but crack one of my own happy faces. Then Mum gets angry.
"I swear, Doctor, if you don't take good care of her – if you ever hurt her, I will find a way to cross universes to kick your sorry arse."
"You have my word, Jackie."
"That goes for Angel, too."
"Understood."
"Tell Mickey hello, and we miss him," Angel says. Mum nods.
"Course I will."
"Have a good life, okay Mum? For us," I choke out. She nods, tears beginning to fall. The TARDIS console beeps.
"Only about half a minute left," the Doctor informs us solemnly. Mum nods.
"I love you," she says.
"I love you too," Angel replies.
"I love you," I add. "And…I just want to say thank you. For everything you've done. You saved my life, and I can never even begin to express how much that means to me. I would never be able to repay you."
"You already did. I watched you grow, Rose…you're such a strong and beautiful young lady, and I couldn't be more proud of you. The same goes for you, Angel. Don't ever forget that. No matter what happens – I'll never forget you, and I'll always love you."
I open my mouth to reply, but Mum's form fades away right before my eyes. I take a deep breath, running my hand over my face tiredly. Angel turns around and hugs me, burying her face in my shirt while she sobs. The Doctor wraps his arms around both of us wordlessly. Suddenly, I hear a voice.
"What?"
We all turn around, completely bewildered, to face a ginger woman in a poofy wedding dress. The Doctor's eyes widen in confusion.
"What?"
"Who the hell are you?" shrieks the woman.
"What?" the Doctor repeats, even more confused.
"Where am I? What's going on?" shouts the woman.
Angel grips me tightly, her eyes wide as she takes in the scene, her face still wet with tears. I wipe my own eyes, squeezing her hand gently.
"What is this place?!"
"What?!"