Summary: Perry investigates a theft at the O.W.C.A. Headquarters. Ferb steals a video game and instantly regrets it.

Wallace, Clyde, and The Domain are from Mighty Med.

Crime Waits for No Man

*Comic Book Store*

Phineas, Ferb, and Candace were at The Domain, a local comic book store. Candace was looking through the comic books, while Phineas was showing Ferb the new video game they wanted.

"Check it out, Ferb!" Phineas exclaimed. "They have it! They have 'Monsters vs. Inventors!' (Monsters vs. Aliens reference) This is the hottest game of the summer! Did we bring enough money?" Ferb held up his wallet, which was nearly overflowing with cash. "I hope that's enough." Phineas took another look at the game and frowned in disappointment. "Aw, man. It's rated M. We have to be seventeen to buy it." He sighed and put the game back on the shelf. "Oh, well. I guess we can always..." He grinned. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do, today. We're gonna create our own video game!" Ferb slowly pointed to the shelf. "Yeah, I wanna play 'Monsters vs. Inventors,' too. Hm. Maybe we could accelerate our ages."

Meanwhile, Candace had squealed in excitement, when she picked up a comic book. "The new Marvel comic is here! Sweet!" (Mission: Marvel) She saw Janet holding some kind of device, but she turned around, before she could see Perry fighting her. "Phineas! Your birth-mom's doing something evil!"

Outside The Domain, Perry and Janet were wrestling for a the small device in Janet's hand. In the process, Janet accidentally fired her device, but neither of them noticed. Their struggle rolled to the side of the building, as Candace opened the door. She shrieked, as a blast bounced off the glass door and into the building. She did not see it hit Ferb.

Phineas poked his head out the door. "Whatcha lookin' at, Candace?"

Candace grabbed her brother's hand, a determined look on her face. "Come on, Phineas. She couldn't have gotten far."

As she dragged him away, Phineas asked, "What about Ferb?"

Suddenly craving the video game even more, Ferb grabbed it from off the self and looked at it. For some reason, he felt a powerful urge to run off with it. Nearby, the twin store owners, Wallace and Clyde (the difference between them is that Clyde wears glasses), were discussing a problem with security.

"How can the security system not be working?" Wallace asked.

Clyde rolled his eyes. "Probably because somebody spent all our money on car wax, so now we can't afford to fix it."

"Hey, car wax is very important. Don't be so hard on yourself."

Clyde narrowed his eyes in frustration. "I'm just so stupid, sometimes!"

"Anyway, without the security system, people can just walk out of the building with stolen property, and we would have no way of knowing." Wallace noticed Ferb listening to them. He nodded to the boy. "Take that green-haired kid, for example. He could just walk out of here with what is likely the awesomest video game on the planet, and we would have no way of knowing." Ferb zoomed out the door. The owners noticed. "Did he just...? Clyde, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Clyde grinned. "That we should play 'Monsters vs. Inventors,' because we're grown-ups, and we own a copy of it?"

Wallace grinned back. "That is exactly what I'm thinking!"

*Major Monogram's Office*

At the knock at the door, Monogram called, "Come in," and Perry entered.

"Everything okay, sir?" Perry asked, closing the door. "You don't normally call me to your office."

Monogram folded his hands on his desk. "Sit down, Agent P." Perry gulped, suddenly anxious, but took a seat across from his boss. At the platypus's nervous expression, Monogram assured, "Don't worry. You're not in trouble or anything of the sort. I just need some assistance, and all the other agents are busy. Besides, you read a lot of those mystery novels."

Perry raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, it seems that my award has gone missing."

"Do you mean the 'Superior of the Year' award or that arts-and-crafts trophy that Monty made you when he was little?"

"The first one. I keep Monty's back at home. Come over here for a moment." Perry hopped off the chair and walked to his boss's side. Monogram grabbed the knob of a drawer. "I put it in this drawer, because it kept falling off the wall." He opened the empty drawer, and Perry had to stand on his toes to see the inside of it. "As you can see, it is no longer there."

"Hm. You know," Perry mused, "Miss Applebottom made a machine that makes people steal things successfully. Maybe it blasted someone, thus compelling them to take your award. Of course, for that to be the case, someone would have to have wanted it to begin with."

Monogram rubbed his chin in thought. "Well, few agents and Carl have admired it, and Admiral Acronym seemed a little on the jealous side when I won it..."

"Well, I guess I know what I'm gonna do, today. Don't worry, sir. I'll find your award faster than you can say 'Where's Perry?'"

*Bedroom*

Ferb ran into his room and slammed the door. It was a miracle no one had caught him with the video game. What had he done!? He didn't even remember what compelled him to steal it in the first place! He heard the sounds of a delivery truck outside and walked toward the window. He heard the door open and he gasped, tripping over the rug. To his chagrin, the video game slipped from his grasp and went flying out the window.

"Oh, sorry, mate," Perry apologized, stepping into the room. "You okay?" Ferb gave a hesitant thumbs-up and stood up. "I was wondering if I could borrow your detective make-up." (Finding Mary McGuffin)

Ferb blinked. "May I ask why, or is it something classified?"

"No, it's not classified. Long story short, I'm investigating a theft."

Ferb gulped. He thought that Perry might have been referring to The Domain. "Th-theft? As in, someone stole something?"

Perry raised an eyebrow at the strange behavior. "Um, that's kinda what a theft is... Are you sure you're alright?"

"Positive. Wh-why do you ask?"

"'Cause you only talk that much, when you feel guilty about something."

"Ho-ow do you know I haven't just decided to speak more often?"

Perry blinked, not believing him for a second. "Where's the detective make-up?" Ferb pointed to the closet. "Thanks."

While he went to look for it, Ferb rushed to window and looked down at the video game. Fortunately, it remained in one piece.

"Hey, Phineas," a guy on a forklift called, "where do you want these ridiculously heavy lead bars?"

Phineas looked up from his blueprint. "Just put them over there somewhere."

"Got it." He sat them on top of game, and Ferb flinched. (Candace Disconnected)

"On second thought," Phineas called, "Bring them over here."

"Sure thing." The man drove the bars away and sat them down near Phineas, then he drove out of the yard.

Phineas looked up at the window and waved. "Oh, there you are, Ferb. I know what we're gonna do, today! Come and help out." Ferb held up a finger, signalling that he'd be down in a minute. "Okay. I promise not to start without you."

Perry, a spray bottle in his hand, stopped on his way out of the boys' bedroom. His brow furrowed in worry. "Are you sure you're alright, Ferb?" No response. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" Still no response. Perry bit his bottom bill then sighed. "A-alright. Just promise you'll call, if you need anything." Not looking back, Ferb gave a thumbs-up in confirmation. "Okay... I, uh... I'll just be going. Th-thanks for the detective make-up."

*Applebottom Being Interrogated*

Perry, now in black and white and wearing a suit, shined a spotlight on Janet. He fixed her with a cold gaze. "Alright, Applebottom. What can you tell me about a theft at the OWCA Headquarters."

A fully-colored and rather defensive Janet sat at the black and white desk. "I don't what you're talking about."

"Earlier today, you created a device that creates a negative charge in the brain, causing an individual to neglect the purchase of objects and simply remove them from the location they were discovered in. To put it simply, you made a thing that makes people steal other things."

"Well, yeah, I did that, but I don't know anything about a theft at your little petting zoo with hats." (Sipping with the Enemy)

Perry growled. "I suggest you refrain from speaking ill of the agency."

Janet sighed and rolled her eyes. She put her hand on her chin in thought. "Now that I think about it, my thief-atron might have let out a blast, while we were fighting."

"And...?"

Janet blinked then shrugged. "That's it. I'm not sure where it could have went. For all I know, it could have hit the giant floating baby head."

Candace fell from the ceiling and on to the desk, breaking it. She looked from Perry to Janet, both of whom were in shock. Candace shot upright and bolted out the door. "I'm telling Phineas!"

After that, I decided to speak with other possible suspects.

Clips of Perry interrogating Admiral Acronym, Peter the Panda, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and the even the giant floating baby head were shown.

This lead me to one young intern, that may have known exactly what was going on.

"Agent P, why are you narrating?" Carl asked from his place at the black and white desk. "And, why are you in black and white?"

Well, I did say 'may have.'

Perry narrowed his eyes. "If it's all the same, young man, I'll be asking the questions, here. Now, I have intel that you may know a thing or two about Major Francis Monogram's stolen 'Superior of the Year' award."

"Oh." Carl blushed. "Uh, funny story. M-major Monogram asked me to deliver a painting to Seattle. I-I'd misplaced my glasses, so I couldn't see what I was mailing. Guess I sent out the wrong thing, huh?" He let out a sheepish laugh.

"So, do you think it's already been shipped off to Seattle?"

"I don't know. You might be able to find it, before the package is shipped."

*Backyard*

Ferb rushed outside, and bumped into Phineas, knocking the two of them over. Phineas grinned. "Whoops. Sorry, bro." They both stood up. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I-I'm alright," Ferb told him, his mind still on the broken video game. "S-so, what are we doing, today? I'm totally not stalling."

Phineas raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay, Ferb? You only talk that much, when you feel guilty about something."

"Maybe, I've just decided to speak more often!" Ferb involuntarily snapped, making Phineas flinch. "Is that so wrong!?" Upon seeing the hurt on Phineas's face - Ferb was angered even less often than Phineas - Ferb realized what he'd just said. "My sincerest apologies, brother. I'm not quite sure what's gotten into me, today."

Phineas smiled slightly. "That's okay. We all have bad days. Do you wanna talk about it?" Ferb slowly pointed at nothing, and Phineas turned around. "What are we looking at?"

Ferb whipped out a small broom and plastic bag and rushed to the nearby pile of video game parts. He swept them into the bag and ran.

"I still don't know what we're looking at," Phineas commented. He heard the gateway slam closed and turned around, instantly knowing that something was amiss. "Ferb?"

Candace suddenly arrived at her brother's side. "Phineas! You're birth-mom is-"

"Not now, Candace."

"She's a suspect in a crime!"

Phineas, after a moment, looked calmly at her. "Well, you know what they say: Innocent until proven guilty."

Candace groaned.

*Street*

(This song - and, I guess, video - is a parody of I Need My Letter Back from the episode, "Operation: Crumb Cake." Perry is now in color and not wearing a suit.)

-Perry-

Postmaster general, please help me out.

The intern sent a parcel, but he's filled with doubt.

I know his ship was accidental,

But he'll probably be in trouble anyway.

Somebody please cut me some slack.

I need that parcel back.

I need a retraction,

A full-scale redaction.

I think that I should at least swap it out, you know.

You better believe it.

I have to retrieve it.

Don't say my opportunity is already blown.

(Already blown.)

Oh, why did he ever sign his name?

I promised my boss that this would go okay.

I'd never break a promise,

So I will claim that package today.

Somebody please cut me some slack.

(I need that parcel back.)

It might be in this very stack.

(I need that parcel back.)

It's hard to overstate this fact:

I need that parcel back.

*Comic Book Store*

Ferb ran as fast as possible to The Domain, but Phineas stood in front of the entrance, arms crossed and eyes narrowed in suspicion. Ferb stopped short, sweating, and held the plastic bag behind his back.

"What's going on, Ferb?" Phineas asked firmly. He jabbed his finger at Ferb's chest. "You're hiding something. Something bad. You might as well fess up, because Perry's not here to be the paranoid one, and my face hurts from making this expression." Ferb pushed him aside and ran into the building. "Hey!" Phineas ran after him.

Wallace and Clyde stopped Ferb from running into them. "Whoa, kid," Clyde said. "Where's the fire?"

Ferb cleared his throat, which was starting to hurt from all the talking he'd been doing. "Sirs, it seems that I have made a dreadful mistake." He presented the bag of broken video game parts, which Clyde took from him. "I stole this video game, and it ended up getting destroyed. I know what I did is against the law, and I have come here to accept my punishment, like a man."

The twins looked at each other in shock, then Wallace told Ferb, "Kid, I gotta say, I respect you for being up front with us. However, we will be calling your parents."

"And, you're gonna have to do some work around here to pay off the damages," Clyde added. Ferb nodded in acceptance. "Well...I guess you can give us your number and go home."

"A little heads up, though: You'll probably be grounded when you get home," Wallace added.

Ferb nodded, told them his phone number, and turned to walk out, only to bump into a stunned Phineas. "You stole something?" Phineas asked in shock. Not meeting his gaze, Ferb nodded. "Wow. Talk about OOC. Still, I'm glad you were honest with them." Smiling sympathetically, Phineas put an arm around his brother's shoulders. "And, hey, I bet I could make you getting grounded a lot more fun."

Ferb smiled. "Why don't we head home? My throat is starting to hurt from speaking so frequently." He coughed twice.

Phineas laughed. "By the way, what do you suppose Perry's been up to all day?"

*Street*

Doo-be-doo-be-doo-ba!

Doo-be-doo-be-doo-ba!

Perry used his grappling hook to leap on top of the mail truck that held the package he needed to obtain. He pulled a special device out of his hat and began using it to drill a hole through the top, but his wrist-com beeped.

A rather embarrassed Major Monogram appeared on the screen. "Hey, Agent P. Uh, funny story about my award. Turns out it was in a different drawer than I'd thought it was in. So...Heh heh... I guess you sort of did all of this for...nothing... My bad."

Frustrated with his boss' ignorance, Perry threw his wrist-comm somewhere, making someone scream, "My watermelon!"

**Credits** (This might make less sense, if you don't watch Mighty Med, but it's still funny.)

In the Domain, Ferb was sweeping the floor, when he heard his temporary bosses discussing something.

Wallace menacingly held up half a circle that had an intricate design on it. "Once we have the other half of the Dyad of Nebulon, we will return to our true form as Catastrophe, the world's most evil supervillain."

Clyde rubbed his hands in anticipation. "We will be feared by men, loved by women, ignored by cats, 'cause you know how cats are!"

"And, we will destroy every superhero in the universe." Wallace thought for a moment. "E-except The Beak. I like his suit. Him, we'll just torture." Clyde nodded in agreement.

Now greatly fearing the store owners - and recalling being half of The Beak - Ferb bolted.

The End

Yeah, Ferb was definitely OOC, but at least there was a reason. Review, unless you want Wallace and Clyde to destroy you. Or, torture you, depending on whether or not they like what you're wearing.