Hey guys, i cant believe i update one week later. woohoo .. i have a run :o)
Have fun reading and as always R&R

My last cry for Andrea felt like the last words I was ever going say. It was dark and it was getting darker. My thoughts went back to Merle, who died all alone. I couldn't take care of Daryl's brother, couldn't take care of myself. Daryl had told me to stay put and I didn't listen. My soul would go to hell for being such a pain in the ass. At least I had been able to kiss him before I was going to die. I saw him right in front of me: his Daryl-smile, his yes, his lips. It wasn't fair … nothing was fair in this world. Looking over to Andrea, the world wasn't fair at all. She wasn't moving and Milton was lying dead on top of her. This wasn't how I thought things would work out. "Andrea." I whimpered.

"I'm here." She suddenly spoke up. She pushed Milton off herself. He was damn dead. "I'm here." She said again. She stood up and fell to the ground. Before I could scream her name, she started to crawl my direction.

"Did he bite you?" It was all in slow motion. My vision was somehow vibrating and I was seeing double.

When she reached me, I saw blood running down her throat. She wanted to stand up, to take out the knife, but she collapsed on me. Her head falling on my legs. She tried to stand up but she rested in my lap. "Ella?"

"Hmm?"

"You know, Amy died just like this." She turned and looked at me. "She died the same way … a walker bit her throat." Andrea didn't cry. What a tough women she had grown into.

"No one ever told me how she died, nor how Dale and the others died." Remembering all my dead friends I had left behind hurt. I knew their names, saw their faces, but it was as if they were just photographs on my mental pin board. They weren't real anymore. That's how I would end up in the end, a memory in someone's head.

"No one likes to talk about what had happened. When you see your beloved ones bitten to death … you don't even want your enemies to experience that." She looked me into the eyes. "Dale died the same way. He was bitten and Daryl released him. Shot him in the head to end his pain. Jim was bitten too, just like Ed. They died at the camp side. Jacqui died in an explosion, when we had been at the CDC. And Shane …" She seemed to be emotional involved in Mister-nice-police-ass. "They told me Rick had killed him."

"What?"

"On Hershel's farm. He wanted to kill Rick, but Rick was faster." Her eyes were somewhere else. Her thoughts seemed to be with the dead. I wanted to comfort her but didn't know what to say. So I stroked her hair. It hurt to move. I didn't even know how I was able to lift my arm at all, but to comfort my friend, I endured the pain.

"I can't believe they are all dead. We had lost so many friends along the way and now it's me who will take the same gateway."

"You won't die." But my tears wetted her hair. She didn't look at me no more, but over me. "Andrea …"

"We need to get that knife. You have to kill me before I turn!" Her breathing was uneven. When she moved again, blood came out of her wound like a fountain. She cried out and again sank down on my legs.

"Don't move." The only thing that would help us now was talking. There was nothing left in this world, so I wanted to make it a little easier. "You know when I first saw you, I thought you were a real bitch." I smiled.

"And you were a hopeless little daydreamer." Her lips formed a smile followed by a low scream.

"Tell me without a cry and I believe you." I needed to distract her from dying. She shouldn't suffer, after all, she had tried to safe us. "You know, Amy had been the first of our group I really liked. She was open, friendly and not afraid of the apocalypse."

"I had seen you out of my car when you crossed the way of our group the first time. You looked like Lara Croft, with the knives in your hand." She coughed. "That's when you first met Daryl."

"Is that really what you wanna talk about now?" I said with a pang in my heart. I wasn't sure it was because of the topic or aftereffects of the men's kicks.

"Maybe it's because I feel like you now. Running away from all the good things …" Her face was a mix of a smile and crying. "The whole time I had run after a ghost, something I thought I could trust in. And now I feel like I had been doing it all wrong." Sighing she looked to the side. "I have the feeling it is my fault that this war began."

"No … nobody could have stopped Phillip. Besides, Rick and the others must be on their way to Woodbury. They will save us." I tried a comforting smile. I didn't believe my own words.

"Nothing is gonna save me."

"Andrea …"

"Stop it. I know I am going to die Ella." She accepted it, why couldn't I? I smiled sadly. "Through all the things you have been through … you are still you. I thought you would have turned into a dark person, boiling of hate. But you are still smiling."

"I had been there … I still am." No, dark thoughts shouldn't be our last. "Thanks to you I knew they were alive and never gave up." And hidden under all these scars and bruises was a small girl waiting for someone to take her away. "Andrea?" Was she still breathing? I was tired and wanted nothing more than to close my eyes. But I stood awake for her.

"Yeah?" Small and fading she answered. She was still alive, but she was getting paler.

"How did you get along with Michonne?"

She smiled under me. "That one is a tough nut to crack." She coughed.

"How did you meet?" Trying to distract her from pain, I stroke her hair like my mother had always done. I remembered her like it had been yesterday, when I had been in the hospital after the crash. I couldn't move and she had sat at my bed and had stroked my hand and hair for hours. Just to know she had been there, made me feel protected and loved.

Andrea somehow smelled the rat. She tried to get up, but again she failed. "Andrea!" But I had no chance to help her. The knife that should had saved my life was now killing me slowly, stealing my blood and strength. She sank back into my lap. "Andrea!?" I whispered.

"You have to be strong. Try to get the knife. I don't know how long I'll make it."

"You ever expected life to end like this?"

"I know what you are doing …" She sighed. "But distracting yourself in a world like this doesn't work. You have to focus on what will come in the future. Focus Ella or you'll die." She closed her eyes.

I was exhausted from staying awake, from focusing on this world. I didn't feel like talking anymore, I wanted to close my eyes too and rest. But Andrea opened her eyes again, the hardness had left her face. "I hoped I would survive the apocalypse, hoped Amy would." She pressed her hand on her wound. "But deep down, since all the things happened … I knew I would die because of a walker." She looked over to me. "Are you still there?"

"I am …" But my voice sounded gone. "I knew they would kill me … not the zombies, but the human beings that could torture a defenseless woman."

"I always thought you would run away with Daryl and live in a little house on a lake. Live from squirrels and rabbits shot by yourself." I wished I wouldn't have run away in the first place. Seemed Andrea now wanted to distract me. "Even others found a partner, Daryl stood alone. He had never given up on you, believe me. He went out looking for you every time he had the chance to. The one time on Hershel's farm, I mistook Daryl for a walker and shot him. The bullet just grazed him. Hershel fixed him and when I wanted to call on him, he was asleep and said your name." You could tell from her face that speaking was hard for her, but she went on anyways. "At camp, when the two of you had sneaked away or had sat together, I wondered when you both would realize you matched. Your eye sex was obvious." She laughed and blood came out of her moth.

"But I ran away … twice. Destroying everything that could have been."

"And always found the way back home."

"Home?"

"Home is where your friends give you comfort and warmth. Never mind where you had ran off, your road had always led you to them."

"I am torn between dying and fighting to live." I said honestly. Her words had made me happy … Daryl talking in his sleep of me … but I had ruined that relationship once and for all.

"What do you really want in this life?" Andrea asked.

In my head were thousands answers, but there were two simple ones: I wished my brother hadn't died and I wanted to be with Daryl. I wasn't quite sure how to answer.

Minutes ticked away. "Ella, stay awake." Andrea told me a little bit in panic.

"I wished I had never left the group …"

"I asked you about the future." She interrupted. "You shouldn't make your past lead the way into your future."

I closed my eyes and all I wanted was the warmth and shelter Andrea had talked about. Suddenly I heard a loud undefinable sound. There was light blinding us. Maybe it was the door to heaven opening, to pick us up. I was ready to leave this world behind, but I wasn't ready to leave Daryl behind. All the thoughts I had about dying and being alone … now they were nothing but smoke and mirrors. And suddenly I saw the one man I wanted to come for me all the time. The door was opened and Daryl ran for me while I sat pinned up at the wall. I wasn't sure if I really saw him or if I just wanted to see him coming to save me. But when his hands reached for my face, I heard his voice too. "Ella!" So it wasn't a dream …

"What took you so long?" I croaked. He studied every bit of my face, touched me carefully. His eyes roamed around my body and stopped at my pinned hand. With a smooth motion he took out the knife. I collapsed into him with a scream.

"Damn it Ella." He took me into his arms. "Ya bitten?" I shook my head. He tore his shirt and quickly wrapped it around my hand to stop the bleeding, while I watched him through watery eyes. He then took off his vest and wrapped me in it as if it could hold my broken body together.

"I'm sorry Dar'." Tears escaped my eyes and didn't stop streaming down my cheeks. With the bloody hunting knife he freed my cuffed legs.

Next to me Michonne and Rick gathered around Andrea. "Judith, Carl … the rest of them …" Her voice was so weak. "Are they alive?"

Daryl pressed me carefully to his chest. "Please never leave again." It didn't sound like him. I took a fistful of the leftovers of his shirt in my good left hand and pulled him even closer. Looking up, he looked into my eyes with a glance that said more than words. Where did this intimacy come from? I must be dead.

I heard a low cry. Looking over Daryl's shoulder, I could see Andrea, Michonne and Rick. Rick had sat her up against the wall. When she showed them the bite, Rick locked away emotionally. That's when my heart beat up again, when I forgave him. But Andrea was smiling, while the others were near crying. She knew she was going to die and so did we. Michonne's face was all stone, but tears streamed down her face.

"They are all alive." Rick told Andrea, then looked over to me and nodded.

"It's good you found them." Andrea said to Michonne who was crying hard. "No one can make it alone." Now she looked at me and Daryl.

"They never could." Daryl retorted in a low voice. He was as upset as Rick.

Daryl turned to me again. "Think I can move ya?" He asked carefully, afraid I might break into pieces. I simply nodded, not knowing if I would burst into single portions. Daryl picked me up and turned with me to Andrea. It hurt, but was nothing compared to the constant pain I felt the last hours. He held me while I put my left arm around her, hugging her goodbye. "Say hi to Amy." I smiled, tears escaping in my eyes. "I will miss you."

"You're a liar. The moment you are out with your man, you'll forget me." Even she smirked, tears formed in her eyes too.

"I'll never forget you. You are the person trying to protect me, more than I did for myself." Daryl slowly pulled me away.

"Ella." I looked into her eyes. "See … He will always come for you." She looked to Daryl who was startled. "Take her away … I don't want you guys to see this." She told Daryl.

"I don't want to leave you!" I couldn't accept she wanted to kill herself all alone. "I can't simply go …" She didn't deserve that. But Andrea just smiled at me. Suddenly Michonne put her arm around her friend and I knew they needed a last time together. I finally nodded and retorted her smile. Daryl nodded to Andrea in his Dixon-way and was about to carry me out of the room, I saw Milton's dead body.

"Wait." And Daryl stopped. "Over there …" I saw Milton was holding something and a memory in the back of my head was screaming. Daryl turned with me to Milton. "He … he's got something in his hand."

Daryl made a few steps and carefully bend down to pick up the slip of paper Milton was holding. While he did, he pressed me carefully to his chest. Daryl passed me the picture. I held it in my left hand, it was hard to open it with just one hand. When I unfolded it, I starred at the picture of me and my brother. I had it back, I had my brother back. I pressed it to my heart and put it into my trousers so I couldn't lose it again. Daryl moved towards the door, one last glance to Andrea and I began to sob hard. Trying to suppress my grief was useless and only made the sobbing worse. It almost felt as if my chest was exploding.

Daryl walked out of the room, slowly dropped me on a box outside and examined me again. He seemed to be searching for another bleeding wound which needed to be treated. I was so tired, my eyes only half open. "I'm fine." He rolled his eyes, checked my hand again which was already wrapped in his shirt and by the way, soaked in blood. His eyes narrowed when he saw all the bruises.

"Don't worry … a few hits and kicks don't bring me down." There was nothing to worry about anymore. He was here, he really came for me. "I'm gonna make it to the prison …" The prison … my eyes went big. What had happened since I had been away?

"They are all fine. Governor and his army walked straight into our trap. They are all safe!" Daryl answered to my screaming thoughts. He was nice to me again, the ignoring glance was gone.

"Were is all your hate gone?" I croaked.

"There never had been hate."

Then it hit me. Did he say safe? So Phillip is dead? But Daryl shook his head. "Governor killed almost all of his people and pissed off." Killed his own people, like it was his job … and suddenly a name popped into my head.

"Merle …" I managed to say.

"He's … fine … almost dead. But nothing can kill a Dixon …"

"… but a Dixon." I finished his sentence smiling. "I knew we would make it."

"Ya pretty dumb for a brunette." He let out a short laugh.

"I feel I am born to die over and over again." I said brainless. My pain and tiredness made me say my thoughts aloud. I closed my eyes and it was hard to open them again.

That's when he gently took both of my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "I had felt the same … Years ago when I had been a kid. But you are not born to die now Ella." He said my name with such force. "We will face this together …" He stopped. Even the words were emotional, his voice was not. "We'll survive this shit together."

We had so much in common. Daryl still held my shoulders, still looked into my eyes. I raised my good hand to touch his face, to know this was real, that he was real, but pain rushed through my left side. I winced and my hand sank into my lap. This time he was the one making the next move. With his right hand on my cheek he came closer and kissed me. It was a short kiss, but it felt good. His lips felt so good against mine. He pressed his forehead against mine and looked me deep into the eyes. His nose slightly touched mine and I winced. I remembered Phillips men had beaten me pretty hard. My nose was broken, as was half of my body.

"Nothing is gonna hurt you anymore." He slowly departed looking almost uncomfortable. "As long as you stop being such a runaway."

Rick joined us and Daryl straightened his back, but didn't let go off my hand in my lab. "How are you?" His beard stubbles and torn dirty clothes made him look hard and yet his wet eyes were all soft.

"I want to go home." I whispered, tears filling my eyes, and Rick smiled at me. He actually smiled. He came closer, put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it carefully.

"We'll take you home." He comforted me even we didn't get along. His glance still told the story of grief. Andrea's fate troubled him, like Loris death had. I really forgave him.

I closed my eyes again, I was so tired. When I opened them again, all of a sudden a man walked around the corner and my heart almost stopped. He had a riffle in his hand. I wanted to take the gun out of Daryl's jeans, but fell down. While Daryl watched the direction the man came from, Rick jumped to my side and caught me. "Careful!"

My eyes were wide but Rick calmed me. "That's Tyrese. He helped us." I wanted to stand up, but couldn't. Daryl helped me to get up but my legs didn't work. I couldn't even stand on my own feet. Silence fell upon us, everyone looking in another direction. Daryl looked down on my hands, while I looked from Rick, to that new one Tyrese, and back to Daryl.

A shot made me wince and remember Andrea died in this very moment. Daryl comforted me by hugging me tight. I closed my eyes and pressed my head into Daryl's chest. He didn't mind, he even comforted me by stroking my hair. When I opened my eyes again, Michonne had come out of our hell and Daryl carried me out of the house. When we left the place I never wanted to go again, I closed my eyes and listened to my friend's talking. There were other voices too, the one of Tyrese and of a woman. But I didn't want to see this place. Someone stroke my head. "Don't sleep now." It was Daryl's raspy voice.

"I'm not …" But I wanted to sleep badly. I felt Daryl moving, felt how he carried me.

"Open your eyes." Again his raspy voice called through the warm darkness.

"I don't want to." I sounded like a stubborn child, but I really was afraid of what I would see. Were walkers roaming around? Were there corpses on the ground? Was there blood and pain lying ahead?

"Look at me." He demanded and I opened my eyes slowly. We were sitting in the back of a car and it was moving. When did we enter a car? "There you go!" Daryl was still holding me. "Talk to me." He commanded, trying to make me stay awake.

I looked up on him. "How did you know …"

"Merle. He told me the whole story." He finished my sentence.

It was hard to talk. My mouth was dry and my senses had given up their job. I didn't feel anything and my eyes were tired. "What story?"

"Ya tried to save him. Put ya life on the line again." I didn't want to hear about my failures anymore and closed my eyes. Andrea's voice echoed in my head, telling me to look ahead and not back. But I was afraid to open my eyes and see into Daryl's blue wide ocean. He had told me to stay put, twice. And I hadn't listen, twice. Had ran away, twice. Had gotten injured because of the same man, twice.

"Stay with me." He breathed into my ear. That's all I wanted, I wanted to be with him. His breath sent a shiver down my spine and I opened my eyes to know how close he was. "I've missed these green eyes." This was a dream … he would have never said these words alive. And I held him tight and wanted to never let him go.

So finally they get closer ... we'll see were this leads in the next chapter :o) have a great day!