Chapter 32

At dinner, Dan and I sat with Grace at our usual table. As we were eating, I noticed a movement to my right and stiffened when I realized who it was.

"Well, well, look who we have here. Carla, how unpleasant of you to drop by. Please, do tell us what brings you to our side of the lunchroom." Dan tried to joke; though his words were clipped and his tone was bordering on hostile.

I didn't say anything. Quite frankly, I didn't care what she had to say. I glared at her, silently daring her to pull another stunt while I was there.

"I-I came to…" Carla stuttered, falling into an uneasy silence as we all looked at her expectantly.

"Finish what you started in the dormitory?" I interrupted sardonically. "What did you make your shank out of this time? One of the plastic spoons perhaps?"

"No!" Carla said defensively.

"A spork then?" Dan added with a contemptuous grin.

"I don't find your words humorous." Carla frowned as she played with her glasses nervously. "They are inappropriate."

"Well forgive me." I bristled. "I forgot I'm talking to a saint who'd never hurt a fly."

"Sage, it's okay," Grace said as she placed her hand on my arm.

Carla swallowed loudly, and I watched as her eyes darted from me to Dan, and then back. She shifted, staring only at Grace as she spoke. "I came to see you."

"Well here I am, what do you need?" Grace asked calmly. To my surprise, she didn't appear affected at all. She cocked her head, seeming bored, and raised a brow when Carla stayed quiet.

"Can we talk?" Carla asked.

"Isn't that what we're doing right now?" Grace replied with a little scoff.

"I mean in private."

Grace's scoff turned into a low chuckle as she shook her head. "No. Whatever you have to say can either be said here or not at all."

Dan and I shared a quick look; and I could see he must've felt just as impressed as I did. After the attack, I had to admit I'd worried Grace's gentle nature wouldn't be able to handle it. I'd feared she'd have some sort of nervous breakdown or would lose the confidence she'd gained. It was nice to be wrong though; if anything, the event seemed to have helped solidify something within her.

"You don't have to be scared, I won't try to hurt you again." Carla assured her after she'd gotten over her mild shock.

Grace let out a sharp laugh, then rolled her eyes. "I am not afraid of you Carla. I just don't want to go." She paused and took a sip of her water. "I'm having dinner with my real friends, and I won't just get up and go because you feel like what you have to say is more important."

"It won't take long." Carla pleaded.

"All the more reason, stop beating around the bush and just talk."

"I wanted to apologize for my earlier behavior. It was wrong of me to do that, but I-I," Carla bit her lip, and I couldn't help but find it ironic; an erudite who found it hard to articulate how she felt.

"What?" Grace asked in a tone that actually sounded concerned.

"My rank has just been so low Grace!" Carla said in a sudden outburst. "It wasn't fair! I was doing fine, average maybe, but not bad. Not like you. I mean, really, you were terrible! Then out of nowhere you started winning fights, and your aim was so much better. You did a complete turnabout and left me behind to fail! You were selfish and a horrible friend! The only ones there for me were Billy, Howard and Samantha!"

As I watched Grace stiffen, I worried that maybe Carla's words had gotten to her. Would she fold under the pressure?

"Shut up." Grace said quietly.

"No! You deserved what I did, and I only regret that Sage got in the way."

Grace stood suddenly, and a sharp thwack sounded across the room as her hand slapped Carla's cheek. I was shocked, Dan gasped, and most of the people in the lunchroom had turned to witness the whole confrontation.

"I was selfish? I was a horrible friend?" Grace hissed. "If I recall, when I was doing badly you never made the effort to help me. No, instead you comforted me by telling me that when I ended up factionless, you'd be sure to visit."

Dan was frowning, and his mouth was twisted into a scowl. I was holding onto the table, trying to control the disgust I felt at what Grace had just revealed. I hadn't known about all that. How Grace had managed to stand Carla this long was beyond me.

Grace took a deep breath, and then the look of anger was gone, her features sad instead. She was herself. "I would've helped you Carla, I really would've."

"Liar." Carla muttered, shoving her hands deep in her pockets.

Grace sighed, sitting back down and shaking her head in dismay. "I'm not going to try and convince you or justify myself. And as for that apology? Even if you didn't mean it, I forgive you."

Carla snorted, and then turned sharply and joined Billy and his friends at a table near the back.

After a few moments, the normal murmur of talking dauntless resumed, and it was as if nothing had happened. Dan and I ate in silence for as long as we could, but soon enough, the curiosity to find out the truth was too strong.

"Why did you do that?" Dan asked.

"What? Slap her? I don't know, she was yelling at me and I guess I just got too worked up." Grace answered, sounding almost apologetic.

"No, I think he means why did you forgive her?" I amended. Grace got a far-away look in her eyes, and after a second shrugged.

"Because, I honestly don't think she meant to hurt me." When Dan and I were about to protest, Grace grinned and waved us away. "I mean, yeah, she probably would have if you hadn't interfered, but… When you're filled with panic, if you're not strong enough to handle it, it can cause you to do crazy things. Fear changes you, sometimes for the better, and sometimes not. Carla just couldn't take it."

I looked at Grace, and couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration. She was right of course; in the face of danger, you could either build yourself up and fight, or crumble into nothingness. She was a prime example, she'd grown from her experiences.

"Carla is smart, and I know when everything is done and over with, she'll come to her senses. I don't want her feeling bad and beating herself up about all this later."

It was a selfless act, and as I looked at Grace, I couldn't help but wonder is there wasn't a little abnegation in everyone.

Dan nodded, and then after a moment whistled. "That slap though," he snickered, and I couldn't help but join in, "remind me not to piss you off."

"And don't you forget it," Grace teased.

The mood lightened, and we finished the remainder of our dinner in peace. Afterwards, we practically sprinted back to the dormitory. The current rankings would be up, and with them a hint of what we had to look forward to.

Shoving past anyone in my way, I cleared a path so that we'd be able to be front and center for the announcement. Amar was busy scrawling something on the blackboard, and everyone in the room buzzed with repressed anxiety.

"Quiet!" Amar ordered; the room immediately falling still. "Now listen closely, because I'm about to explain how the ranks are decided. After the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you earned depended on your skill level and the level of the person you beat. You earned more points for improving and also for beating someone of a higher level. And likewise, you lost points if you lost to a lower ranked opponent."

A couple of murmurs sprouted, and Amar paused until everyone was silent again.

"Stage one is important, of course, but stage two is what will be more important in the long run. Mostly, because it's closely linked with overcoming fear. However, with all this being said, it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation if you rank low in stage one. Cuts will be announced tomorrow."

"How much do you want to bet we all fail," Howard muttered to Billy somewhere near the back of the room. "This is probably all set up so only the dauntless-born make it in."

"Do you have something to share?" Amar glowered, and I smirked when Howard immediately paled, looking as white as a sheet of paper.

"No, sorry, no." Howard said as he shook his head frantically, his cheeks coloring in embarrassment.

Amar snorted, and then addressed the rest of us. "As I was saying, the fact that you're transfers and the dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into account. Four of you, or four of them could end up factionless. Furthermore, here are your ranks."

Amar turned, hung the blackboard back on the nail in the wall, and then stepped back so we'd be able to see.

Sage

Banks

Dan

Billy

Grace

Todd

Howard

Samantha

Pam

Carla

First. I was first. Sure, I hadn't lost a fight yet, but a little voice in the back of my head had been nagging that my fight with Banks might have changed things. I'd won, but not easily.

I glanced at him then; his jaw clenched and his blue eyes frigid. Though he was quiet, it was evident he was completely livid. He shifted, and then our eyes met. For once, he didn't view me with the normal indifferent expression he always wore. His mouth twisted, and I almost expected him to launch himself at me. After a tense second, he turned and stalked out of the room, his clenched hands shaking.

"Sheesh, you think the guy would be happy." Dan chuckled. "He's top two!"

I turned and grinned, giving him a playful shove. Dan was a third, but I could see he was proud of himself. When he'd fought with Banks, he'd lasted so long I almost thought he'd win just by tiring him out. Banks was fast, but Dan was faster.

Every time Banks would try to attack, Dan would just leap out of the way, and then rebound and strike before Banks even knew what had happened. It had been almost comical. Banks, who normally seemed so poised and ready to kill, had looked like a lumbering oaf in comparison to Dan's speed.

Unfortunately, Dan's swiftness hadn't been enough. The turning point came when Banks finally managed to catch him. Dan was strong, but unfortunately, not as strong as Banks. Without the advantage of his speed, he'd lost; though he'd put up quite a fight and even managed to punch Banks' eye so hard it had swelled the next day.

Grace was beaming beside us, and I couldn't help but bask in the momentary happiness. With these past few days heavy in my mind, it was nice to remember that there were still lovely moments in life.

That night, even with the worries I had about finding the spy, and the letters my mom was getting, I rested easier than I had in days.