(There won't be a need for tissues just yet. Since I wrote another bonus chapter my timeline was altered. So here you go it's really really long but...Enjoy)
Our Ballerinas
Present
"So you're not going to talk to me the entire drive home?" he asked. Serena fidgetted in her seat trying to ignore him.
"You're going to ignore me for an entire hour?" he asked. "i'm going to be so bored if you don't talk to me" he tried to get her to speak.
"...maybe you could call the office I'm sure they are dying to talk to you" she huffed, her gaze still at the cars outside the tinted glass window.
"Oh, so you are going to talk?" he smirked slightly. "I knew you wouldn't be able to go an entire hour" he laughed a little.
"Serena...," he nudged her but she was stubborn. "Serena come on" he put his hand on her knee, she immediately brushed it off and looked up at him.
"Why didn't you tell me!? you need to tell me these things" she said sternly, her mind wandering to Brooke.
"I knew how you'd react,...I knew you wouldn't want to leave home if I told you. If I told you, you wouldn't have gone to Europe" he explained.
"Your damn right I wouldn't have gone, god Dan..." she turned back to her window clearly upset with him. Serena answered Dan's cellphone that morning, it was the Ostroff centre asking if Brooke had any episodes since the twelfth, Serena was shocked and told Dan she wanted to go home.
"Serena she's fine!, she doesn't need you to tuck her in and make sure she's taking her vitamins, she's going to purge whenever she wants and just because you're home doesn't mean she's not going to do it" he explained. Serena ignored him.
"don't say that word" she swallowed hard and crossed her legs.
"we can't revolve our lives around what she does at every second of the day." her head turned back to him.
"she's sick!, this isn't a phase and this isn't something I'm going to take lightly...people die from this!" she yelled.
"I know that!,' he yelled back, he closed the window that divided them from the driver so he wouldn't be distracted with their bickering. "This shouldn't be something that consumes your life" Serena's eyes glanced back up at him, she wanted to cry.
"How did I let this happen to her?" she asked even though she knew he didn't have the answer. "I...I just feel like the worst mother ever, she probably needs me and what do I do?...I go to Europe" she said sadly. "I'm just like my mother" she closed her eyes.
"That is not true and you know it." Dan leaned over to her. "Serena you are an amazing mom, this has just gotten bigger than both of us...we can take her to the centre on the weekend" he hated to say it, but it was true, Brooke wasn't going to get any better without going to the Ostroff Centre.
"Really?" Serena looked surprised that he had changed his mind.
"Yeah, we'll take her on the weekend and then she can stay after the holidays" he explained. When the limo pulled up to Bass Industries, Dan gathered his briefcase and laptop.
"Hey," Dan took hold of Serena's hand before he opened the door. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but at the same time I'm glad. How long has it been since we just went on vacation together alone?...I had a great time" he smiled.
"Me too" she smiled at him.
"She's going to be fine, I promise" he leaned over and kissed her goodbye.
"See you at home"
"Yeah" she smiled lightly.
Flashback
Dan woke up to find Brooke's foot digging into his side. She was still sleeping in their bed at this point. As Dan moved her foot gently to the side with a wince, Brooke's lips moved and her eyelids fluttered before she woke up.
"Hi daddy" she smiled with her tired eyes.
"Hi Sassy" he whispered, being sure not to wake Serena who was sound asleep on the other side of Brooke. The little four year old moved herself so her chin was resting on pillow as she watched her mom sleep. Dan quickly tapped on Brooke's arm. "Don't wake her up, come on" Dan whispered before they went to get Julia so they could make Serena breakfast.
"What are we gunna make her?" Julia asked as he walked down the stairs with both of them.
"Maybe some pancakes?" he asked if that was a good idea.
"Yeah pancakes!" Julia approved sitting herself on a stool so she could watch her dad cook. Dan yawned as he pulled out some pans. The house was still so new that he wasn't exactly sure where everything was, he opened drawers and drawers trying to find a spatula. When he finally found one he noticed Brooke head towards the foyer.
"Where are you going?....Brookie?" she didn't answer him and he looked back at Julia. "She better not wake Mommy up"
"Why not? it's..." Julia counted the ticks on the clock. "Nine fifteen?" she looked at him to make sure that was right.
"Good job" he smiled, she was so smart it was scary.
"She should be up now Daddy" she nodded.
"No Mommy's tired. It's hard work growing a baby, we'll bring her breakfast in bed" he said as he took a tiny glass bowl out of a cupboard and filled it with some chocolate chips for her, just like his dad did for him when he was younger.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
"Hi Mummy" Brooke smiled at Serena as she slept.
"umm, hi" she sat up slowly, pushing the blonde strands out of her face.
"Daddy is umm, making you pankegs" she crawled on her hands and knees and got under the blankets.
"He's making me what?" Serena asked wiping the sleep out of her eyes.
"Pankegs" Brooke smiled.
"Oh Pancakes...Pan-cakes" Serena tried to get her to pronounce it properly.
"Umm yepp" Brooke said making Serena giggle. Serena followed her down the stairs. "Slow down" Serena said as Brooke ran.
"She woke up mommy" Julia said with a little sigh to her dad. Dan heard a thud and stopped doing what he was doing when he heard crying. He waited it out for a few seconds thinking she might stop.
"What hurts?" Serena scooped her up, but she didn't say anything she just cried.
"You need daddy?" Brooke nodded on Serena's shoulder as she brought her in the kitchen to Dan. He put down his spatula and took Brooke from Serena.
"She was running down the stairs and slipped on the floor" Serena explained.
"Daddy I hurted my knee" she cried as she clung to him.
"Well you can't run down the stairs babe, our floors are too slippery" he sat her up on the counter and Serena took a seat next to Julia stealing a chocolate chip from the little glass bowl Dan filled for her. He rolled up Brooke's pink pj pants to see her perfectly healthy looking knee. "Oh my goodness...we're gunna have to cut it off" his eyes widened.
"Cut if off?" Brooke looked up at him concerned. Dan went to the cupboard and Brooke put her hands on her face and dragged her tears down to her chin dramatically. "It hurts soooo Bahhhd" she looked at her knee helplessly as Dan put a little mermaid bandaid on it. There was not a mark on her but he knew this was the only thing that made her feel better.
"one kiss oughta do it" Dan placed a quick kiss on her knee and everything was perfect in her world.
"You're suppose to stay in bed" Dan turned his attention to Serena who smiled as he bent down and kissed her.
"I hate bedrest," she commented. "How long do we have before breakfast?" she asked.
"Ten minutes" Dan answered instantly as he went back over to flip another pancake.
"Okay let's go get ready for dance" Serena took hold of Brooke and Julia's hands and brought them up the stairs.
Present
Walking in he could hear giggles coming from deep inside the large home.
"Kylie don't be silly you're still my friend" Julia explained to her.
"I just thought that after everything with my brother..." Julia cut her off just like her mother was known for.
"...Honestly I'm fine, I like you and you're my friend okay?"
"Ugh Cosmo?" Dan said distastefully as he walked into the family room to find Julia, Tara and a new girl lying on some couches in their pjs reading the latest issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.
"Hi Daddy" Julia strained her neck over the arm rest to see him.
"Hi baby" He walked over and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Does your mom know you're reading that trash?"
"It's hers" Julia giggled.
"Ah"
"and I literally have hers" Tara held up an old copy with Serena on the cover from just after they got married.
"No kidding" he smiled. Tara's head went down and read aloud. "I love my husband most when he...a) Cooks b) writes me sweet love letters c) speaks in a sexy voice d) treats me like a princess, guess which one Serena circled" Dan thought for a moment
"cooks?" he asked.
"She circled them all and wrote I love him all the time at the bottom" Tara said.
"Oh" he smiled slightly.
"Dad this is Kylie" Julia continued to lay down and just pointed at her.
"Nice to meet you" Dan shook her hand.
"Dad, Nate drove Tara over here like four hours ago, why are you just getting home now?" she asked sitting up. Dan groaned a little.
"Well i didn't have a very good day at the office" he admitted. It had been a long day, he really needed to talk to Serena about what happened. Julia held out the small tub of ice cream and spoon that was sitting on the table beside her head.
"No thanks" he smiled for the gesture.
"Where's your sister?" he asked.
"Bed" she answered sadly. 'Her and mom had a fight, she won't even talk to me"
"Great" he sighed, another thing to talk to her about. "do you know what it was about?"
"I think Brooke...," she stopped for a second. "and mom heard her" she kind of whispered so her friends didn't hear. Dan took a deep breath.
"Okay have a good night" he hugged Julia who's arms were out. "don't believe everything you read in those" he pointed at the magazine, the girls giggled.
Dan removed his coat as he walked up the large winding staircase. He poked his head in their bedroom but didn't see her, she wasn't in bed. He threw his coat on the bed and slowly opened the en-suite door, he knocked a little on it to be sure not to frighten her, she wasn't in there. Confused he opened the door to the walk in closet. "Serena?" he called stepping inside, he walked a little further in and realized she wasn't in there either.
Walking out of their bedroom he started down the hall opening Julia's room to find all her lights on, her MAC computer on with her IM chiming every couple of seconds and her tv still playing a movie that her and Tara probably began their night with before going downstairs to get icecream and guitar hero, It was still Serena's favourite game, Julia was better than her at this point and Serena refused to play with her claiming she was a cheater and that she never counted style points. He shut off the tv and turned off her lights before going into Brooke's room. It was pink and fit for a princess, the bed had drapes that she closed every night. She seemed to be sound asleep, he could only see her silhouette through the sheer drapes.
"Daddy?" he sighed. upset he woke her.
"Yeah honey?" he walked over to her bed.
"Are you taking me to the Ostroff centre?" she said as he sat down. Dan tilted his head at her and noticed she was crying.
"we don't know how to help you" he put his hand on her face.
"I don't want to go there" she cried.
Dan lowered his head and put his lips on her forehead. "we don't want anything bad to happen to you...we wanna keep you" he whispered. Brooke seemed to calm herself down as he spoke. Something Serena was positive he had been able to do since she was born.
"How long do I have to go for?" she asked as he pulled away.
"I'm not sure" he said honestly. "you're not going to go until after Christmas though okay?" Brooke nodded relieved.
"But that means you have to eat Christmas dinner...you have to eat my amazing pie, or at least try a little since it's so good" he smiled.
"Okay" her eyes were glossy.
"That was suppose to be a joke" he said with a little smile at her sad face. "I heard about your fight"
"I threw up earlier and Mom yelled at me and locked the door of my bathroom" she explained. Dan rolled his eyes a little upset that Serena did that. "she said having my own bathroom is a privilage" she wiped her eyes.
"Okay you get some sleep, I'm going to talk to her" he kissed her one last time and walked out. He had enough to discuss with Serena.
He opened a couple guest room doors but Serena was no where to be found. As he approached his bedroom he realized he forgot to check one room. It was pink, a large painting of ballerinas on the wall, an original Allison Humphrey. Serena was curled up on a large comfy chair, it rocked back and fourth slightly.
"What are you doing in here?" Dan whispered. Serena looked up a little startled. It was strange for her to be in there, even when Holly was playing in there she had a hard time going in.
"I don't know" she smiled a little through her tired eyes. Dan couldn't bring himself to confront her like this, she was so peaceful. On the wall beside her there was a bookshelf that covered the entire wall. Dan smiled at Cedric who was stuffed into the corner.
"Holly loves him" she commented.
"Brooke used to" he reminded her, she nodded remebering.
"Yeah along with Mr. pig and that...stupid duck" Serena pointed at one of Brooke's favourite childhood toys. Dan laughed heartily as he stood in front of the plastic duck named Duck. Duck wasn't a toy, he wasn't even a stuffed animal, he was a plastic lawn ornament. Memories flooded in of Brooke when she was just four years old. Duck wasn't cuddly or even attractive but Brooke loved him from the first moment she set eyes on him.
"He was a dollar ninety nine" Dan said making Serena giggle a little. Mr. Pig was quite expensive, Serena's dad brought him from England when she was born, he was soft and easily the cutest stuffy she had but there was something about the duck that she loved. "she got the duck for a replacement for the Pig remember?"
"Oh yeah, she gave him to Hannah" Serena closed her eyes as she continued to rock back and forth gently.
"...what do you say we get a puppy?" Dan asked.
"...a...a real puppy?" she opened her eyes.
"yeah"
"...really?"
"yeah for christmas. Like a little chihuahua or yorkie?"
"no they like big dogs" Serena reminded him, she looked exhausted.
"Are you okay?" he asked sitting down.
"This room...is such a waste" she almost smiled.
"Well it wont be" he said kissing her cheek. Serena seemed to wince at the contact.
"Can you get the tree out tomorrow?, i want to start putting up decorations, I'm behind" she changed the subject.
"Yeah" he nodded. "Let's go to bed" Dan said. Serena stood up and wiped her eyes.
"Serena...are you..." she staggered a little. "have you been drinking?"
"no" she said as she opened the door to their bedroom and got up on the bed.
XOXOXOX
A few hours later Dan woke up with Brooke shaking him. "What?...what?" he looked at her, his eyes squinting.
"...I can't sleep I feel sick"
"You think you might....?"
"Yeah and I really don't want to' she started to cry.
"Okay, okay" he got out of bed. "Go back to bed and I'll bring you something"
Dan yawned as he walked into the dark kitchen, He opened a few cabinets looking specifically for ginger ale and gravol. He found neither, but what he did find was a little disapointing, in the recycling there was an empty bottle of Patron. Why did they have Patron? He decided to ignore it and went back up the stairs, Serena had some gravol in her travel bag he was sure of it.
When he opened the bag he was content that he was right, there was some gravol, he was about to grab the box and go back to Brooke when he noticed a white bag, a prescription bag dated on their anniversary just a week ago. Dan was curious as to what Serena was taking, he didn't think she was sick. He slowly and quietly opened the bag being sure not to wake Serena. The writing on the label didn't make sense to him, he opened the box and pulled the tray out wondering if they were allergy pills. When he saw that the pills were pink and tiny he recognized them instantly, the little pills that Serena took every night before bed religiously about a year after Hannah. She never skipped a day, if she forgot them, it was a huge ordeal, he thought these pills had been put in the past for the time being, he looked down at the small plastic and tin tray that was missing exactly eight pills, she even took one that night. Dan stormed out of the bedroom with the gravol not caring that he could wake up Serena. Brooke sat up when Dan walked in. Dan didn't say anything to her he just walked over to her bathroom door and threw his shoulder at it about three times until it opened. Brooke flinched with each push.
"There you go" he said calmly handing her the pill. Brooke was relieved but confused.
"What the hell are you doing?" Serena appeared in Brooke's door frame.
"Goodnight, I love you" Dan kissed Brooke and walked past Serena.
"Dan!...' Serena followed him. "You probably woke up the entire house!" she scolded him.
"Do you enjoy this?...is this a game to you?" he asked her, his eyes moved around with rage.
"What are you talking about?" she sat back down on to their bed and Dan closed the doors.
"These?..." Dan held the bag up to her, Serena's face fell. "The bottle of Patron in the recycling...Monica" Serena's mouth opened but she didn't say anything before Dan did.
"I walked into the office to find her crying today...you know why she was crying?...of course you do... because you fired her" Dan shook his head.
"she was just suppose to move...to another floor" Serena said sadly.
"well guess what? they didn't have another place for her so she was told to pack her things and leave. I don't know why I didn't clue in to that...I've never had an assistant for longer than five months...Monica lasted less than a month." Serena started to cry. "I know you don't trust me...you've never trusted me"
"Oh and I got a phonecall from the people at Ralph Lauren saying they saw Julia in the J. Humphrey Designs show last week...,all you ever do is lie to me"
"Oh like you don't lie to me" she said angrily. "Like about Brooke"
"You're grasping at straws Serena. I didn't tell you about Brooke because I was protecting you from that, I knew you'd overreact"
"and Darcy...I know you're talking to her" Dan froze in his place.
"I'm writing her a letter of recomendation Serena" he said stoically. "I feel it's the least I can do after she was fired with no warning or severence"
"Anything for her" Serena said under her breath.
"I've done everything for you...I do everything for you!, and what do you do? you use Brooke as an excuse to not have another baby and lie to me"
"I'm not using her as an excuse!" Serena yelled.
"then what? what's your excuse?"
"...I'm scared" Serena burst into tears.
"...why didn't you tell me that?" he asked quietly.
"Oh come on....you wouldn't have understood" she wiped her eyes.
"...why would you say that? of course I would. Serena, those were the worst days of my life too. I would never make you go through any of that ever again" he sat down on the bed with her.
"I'm sorry" she apologized and he hugged her.
Flashback
Family breakfasts were for Sundays, on weekdays Dan started work too early for them to sit together as a family, on Saturdays they had brunch at the palace a tradition they started early on with the Basses. But on Sundays, Serena and Dan cooked and ate together, Sundays were for family.
A smile came over Serena's face. "Oh, Oh, Oh" she said excitedly putting her glass of Orange juice down, then quickly grabbed Julia and Brooke's hands placing them on her tummy. They were sitting beside her with tutus on, they had ballet right after breakfast. Serena then looked at both of them with a shocked, thrilled look on her face.
"Dan!" she called motioning for him to come over, he was making more pancakes in the kitchen.
"WHOA!" Julia said excitedly feeling the baby rumble and kick.
"She's punching me" Serena laughed. Brooke who was wearing a pink tutu giggled then went right back to her pancakes being more interested with them.
"Hi baby!" Julia patted Serena's belly and listened for a moment before going back to her breakfast. Dan walked over and laid his hand down on her just missing out on the rumble. "I always miss it" he sighed walking back to his chair and sitting.
"MMM" Brooke smiled licking syrup off her fingers, the tight, neat ballerina bun of golden locks moving side to side at the top of her head. Dan put some more pancakes on her plate and smiled at her. Brooke was entertaining to watch, she was sitting on her knees, pink tool from her cute little tutu everywhere.
"Mummy did I kick you when I was in your belly?" Julia asked Serena, her tutu was black and her hair was in a long blonde pontail, Serena had never taken her for a haircut only trims.
"You didn't kick this much" Serena told Julia.
"You were always sleeping...or hiccuping" Dan said as he sat down. He remembering listening to Serena's belly for the first time and being completley amazed.
"Daddy where do babies come from?" Julia asked with both elbows on the table holding up her chin, her fork resting in her outstretched hand. Dan put his coffee mug down shocked that she actually just asked that. He looked at Serena who's smirk was getting wider and wider by the second, happy that she didn't have to answer. It was just like Julia to ask Dan everything, she assumed he had all the answers in the world, Serena knew that was why she was so smart, he never babied her, if she had a question he answered, this question was a little tougher then the usual easy questions such as "How old is nana CeCe?, why do you always wear suits?, why's blood red?, why do I have to go to bed at eight?, why can't we have a puppy?, how do you spell Bass Industries?", "what's an investment?, he even told her what an investment was, it was funny because unlike Brooke who would get up and walk away being bored, Julia listened to every word as he explained what investments were. These were the easy questions, "Do you think mommy's pretty?", "what does Private school mean?"
Some of the questions were tougher all though he always did his best in answering her. "What kind of animal is Grover?", "Why do Auntie Blair and Uncle Chuck yell so much?", "Why do I go to private school and Tara doesn't?, Even "How come you kiss mommy on her neck?" was easier than this.
"Why..." he cleared his throat. "Why do you want to know that?" Julia kept chewing and shrugged.
"Well?" Serena said looking intrigued at how he was going to explain. Dan's eyes narrowed on her he then turned to Julia.
"…the stork" he said earning an eye roll from Serena.
"Stork?, what's the stork?" Julia asked.
"It's…like big bird" he said before going back to his pancakes.
"Dan!" Serena scolded him with a little laugh.
"I lub big bird!" Brooke said quickly, now licking the palms of her little hands, her blonde bun just starting to fall out, Serena would have to do it again before dance class.
"Babies aren't brought by the stork Jules" she said.
"By all means, you tell her then" he continued eating his breakfast.
"they happen when people love eachother" Serena said.
"But they only happen when you're married" Dan added. Julia thought for a minute, her forehead crinked when she decided that wasn't a good enough answer.
"Aunt Jenny and Uncle Derek are married and they don't have a baby" Dan looked back at Serena thinking she was too smart for this answer. Dan tapped his hand on the table and came up with "maybe they don't love each other"
"No…no Julia they do" she shook her head at Dan. "You cant tell her that" Serena said and he quickly thought of something else to tell her.
"they just got married though and..." Serena didn't know what to say now.
"You have to…wish for one for a long time before you get one" Dan came up with it out of nowhere. Serena made an amused sound and Dan shook his head with a smile not knowing what else to say.
"yeah you have to... Wish for one" she said knowing how absurd it sounded.
"Ok" Julia said going back to her toast. Dan took a sigh of relief that the discussion was over.
"Wait daddy?, " he paused and waited for her to ask something else. "but how does the baby get in there?" Dan instantly lifted his head up from his breakfast, dropped his fork and rubbed his eyes. When Serena noticed he really didn't want to field this question she decided to take it upon herself to answer.
"Ok sweetie, when two people love each other…" she began.
"and they're married" Dan included.
"and they're married" she repeated.
"They decide to have a baby" Serena took a breath thinking of what to say now, Dan finished chewing and quickly held on to Brooke's ears, she looked at him with a crazy face that he returned making her giggle, their eyelashes touched as their eyes mirrored each others. Serena went into a very vague explaination of how a baby is conceived, just the kind of thing that parenting books tell you to tell your kids when these questions come up. "and then the baby grows in the mommy's belly for nine months and then it's born."
When she was done Dan took his hands off Brooke's little ears, Serena and Dan both sat relieved with their answer and continued breakfast. Julia ate some blueberries with a sceptical look on her face.
"But what does the daddy do?" Serena wasn't expecting that one. Dan threw his head back and made a crying sound wanting to be done.
"Umm" Serena looked at Dan and realized this was tougher than she assumed. "Nothing" Serena said definitively and Dan nodded agreeing feeling as though that was a good enough answer to end the discussion. Julia was only six she didn't need a biology lesson.
"Oh..." she looked even more confused now, her head tilting to one side, a pancake wedged into the side of her cheek as she chewed it slowly, Serena could see she was still thinking and was anticipating another question.
"So you wished for me?" she looked straight at Dan, he laughed a little bit and looked up to see Serena digging into a grapefruit across the table.
"No" he answered honestly with a smile. "we didn't wish for you, you just happened, because.... mommy and I love each other" Serena looked up from her grapefruit and smiled sweetly at Dan who's eyes were locked on her.
"You were a really nice surprise" he explained. Serena got up off her chair and sat on Dan's lap pressing her forehead on his. Julia looked confused as Serena wrapped her hands around him and closed her eyes. Dan whispered some things in her ear as he drew circles on her back.
"Did you wish for this baby" Julia put her hand on Serena's belly.
"yeah, that one we wished for" Dan said honestly as Serena got up.
"Did you wish for Brooke?" she asked finally.
"…Nope" Serena smiled.
"Jus cuz their in lub JULIA!" Brooke said in her no-it-all voice making Serena laugh, she had no idea she was listening.
"that's right" Dan stood and collected plates.
"You are way too smart" Dan tugged gently on Julia's shiny ponytail before picking up her empty plate and adding it to his pile.
"Me too, I'm berry berry smart" Brooke looked at him.
"Yes, and you are also berry berry sticky" he agreed and wiped her face with a napkin. "You eat like a little piggy" Brooke chuckled a little.
"No!, like, like a PRrrrrinCESS!" she smiled with her hands in the air hoping Dan would help her down off her seat.
"Like a princess" Dan agreed lifting her up and setting her down, he wiped down her seat that was covered in crumbs.
"So Lucy is really working out" Julia overheard Serena telling Dan.
"Oh my dad saw them out with her yesterday I got an interesting phonecall" he smiled. 'It went along the lines of...," he thought for a second. "Why are you're children out with a stranger?" Serena shook her head.
"What did you tell him?"
"That we need a nanny, we can't take them to him everyday." Dan explained.
"Why do we need a nanny?" Julia asked looking up at her parents who were still clearing off the table. Serena wiped down the table and Dan told her to stop and sit down.
"I can wipe down the table" she insisted.
"Sit down" he said sternly.
"I need some help since I'm on bed rest" she answered Julia while compling to Dan's request by sitting.
"I lub nannies" Brooke said to herself walking around on her tippy toes, hoping from one tile to the next, being sure not to step on a crack.
"why aren't you in bed mommy?" Julia asked her.
"Yeah why aren't you?" Dan asked her with a smirk.
"Because I feel perfectly fine today and I'd like to see my babies dance" she said to him as if she had every right to be up and about, he hadn't let her do anything for the last month.
"Okay" he didn't want to make her upset and she did seem to be feeling alot better, she looked back at Julia.
"babies need a lot of attention so we need someone extra to help us, don't you like Lucy?" Serena said standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the family room with her hand on her back. Dan looked at her and laughed which produced a "What?" from Serena.
"You are...huuuge" Dan laughed realizing how big Serena actually looked. "The bedrest is really paying off. and you still have like a month to go" he smirked.
"Oh thanks" she said sarcastically with an eyeroll as she crossed her arms trying to conceal her bump.
"I hope there's only one baby in there" he teased her wrapping his arms around her.
"Get' she pushed him away playfully. "If you're gunna be mean get" she shooed him
"But I lub you" she couldn't help but laugh, when his lips hovered over hers she kissed him.
"I'm going to get the camera out, stand right there" Dan pointed to the calendar on the wall. Brooke and Julia jumped around hoping to get in his shot.
"Let me get mommy first" he told them and they moved to the side.
"Ok turn to the side" he directed her, she rolled her eyes but complied standing exactly how he wanted her to.
"When are you due?" he asked and she pointed to the date.
"is she going to be early?, late? what's your guess?"
"Well we've had one of each so i'm going to say the right due date this time" she guessed even though she knew that Hannah wasn't going to be late, she was going to be induced early.
"Alright, see you in three weeks Hannah" Dan said before turning the camera off.
"Julia has a playdate" she let Dan know while looking up at the calendar.
"with who" he asked Julia
"Shawn" she said happily.
"Shawn? Is Shawn a boy?"
"Yes" Julia said.
"Hmm" he said. "I might have to have a little talk with this Shawn" he told Serena and she shook her head at his silliness.
"Just ask him what his intentions are, see if they're honourable" Serena giggled.
"You're starting this now?, what happens when they're teenagers and have boyfriends?" she said amused.
"yeah...no, I'm kind of hoping they'll never have boyfriends" he said to Serena who looked over at them as they twirled around.
"Julia you're doing it wrong!' Brooke demenstrated.
"Yeah beautiful, blonde, ballerinas are known for never having boyfriends anyway" she said sarcastically. Dan frowned at her just thinking about it.
"Hey ladies' he said sitting down with them. "Do you by any chance like boys?"
"No ewww" Julia said instantly.
"I do!, I do!" Brooke said as if it was something he wanted her to say. "You like boys?" he asked her again his forehead wrinkling.
"I like you daddy" she threw her hands towards him for him to pick her up Dan smiled and picked her up. He pulled his face away from Brooke. "you're still sticky" he said. Brooke stuck her tongue out at him and her returned the gesture making her throw her back and belly laugh, she was so adorable when she laughed.
"You're so cute" he kissed her cheek. "and you taste like pancakes" he kissed her again and she made the sound that he loved again.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Serena couldn't stop smiling while she watched them dance. Julia was getting tons of praise from the teacher. "Good job Julia!" Brooke wasn't paying much attention she was too busy looking at her shoes and herself in the mirror. The other six or seven little girls were following everything the teacher did.
"what a ham" Dan commented on Brooke who was making funny faces in the mirror, she loved wearing her dancing outfits but never danced in them.
"Okay I'm going to show you what to do and then you all copy me okay?" Cindy held on to the bar and lifted her leg then did a little spin. "now you try" she watched them attempt it, Julia got it right and again the teacher smiled widely. "Watch Julia do it" she used her as an example now. When she was done she smirked a little at the girl beside her which did not make Serena happy.
"Did you see that?" she looked at Dan who nodded not believing that just happened.
"We have a Blair in the making" he said.
"Not if I have anything to say about it" Serena walked over to her and whispered something in her ear.
"What did you say?" Dan asked as she sat back down.
"I told her to be nice or no more dancing" A few minutes later they were all done.
Brooke tried really hard to do what the teacher was doing but gave up. "That's stoopid" she said to herself.
"What a little bugger" Serena laughed.
"I'm the only dad that goes to dance class, all the women think I'm single and keep flirting with me" Dan told Serena as they walked out of the building, she rolled her eyes with a laugh.
"Serena I'm not kidding, I thought they were just being friendly but when I tell them my wife is pregnant on bedrest they stop talking to me"
"Poor thing" she joked.
"well it's not their fault...I have appeal...I make cute babies" he said rubbing his knuckles on his chest full of himself.
"Yeah I think you had a little help" she smiled.
XOXOX
Serena was surprised Dan let her shop with him that day.
"Miss these?" Dan laughed holding up box of pampers swaddlers for newborns, it had been awhile.
"No" Serena answered with a giggle as she continued to push the cart.
"Yes you do, you miss midnight feedings and changings and everything" he said putting them and pretty much everything else baby he could get his hands on, into cart.
Serena smiled a little. "I do" she agreed thinking about her baby, she loved having a newborn, there was something so special about it. Nurturing a tiny little being so they can grow and learn. Serena was meant to be a mom and she didn't realize this until Julia was born. She always wanted to have kids but she never thought she would be so maternal, if having Lily as a mother taught her anything, it was that maternal instincts were not genetic. She remembered watching Julia sleep when she was only a few days old and be completely content with watching her stomach going up and down for hours. Dan even had to tell her to stop checking on her after a few days. Serena wasn't very confident she was going to be any good at being a mother when they first brought her home, the baby blues set in within three days and everything made her doubt herself, she even cried that she might have postpartum depression which Dan promised her she didn't.
Dan always made her so jealous, he was so calm, so confident with Julia, he carried her around like a football, changed her in under a minute, and just seemed to have all the answers when Serena had questions. Julia was the second baby Serena had ever held, Steven Archibald was the first but Julia was the first baby she ever rocked to sleep, the first she ever bathed, and the first she ever changed and the first baby she ever fed.
Serena still remembered having the most terrible night with Julia about two days after they brought her home. "whoa, whoa whoa, you cant lay her down like that" Dan picked her up and put her down the way she was suppose to be. A flood of tears came when Dan told her that she might not be able to breathe laying like that. Serena doubted her ability again. Since then Serena checked on her every five minutes. Dan had reassured her that she was fine but that didn't comfort her, the only thing that put her at ease was seeing her baby's little stomach go up and down.
"I think we're ready" Serena looked in the cart. After two babies she was so confident, this was going to be a piece of cake. Even this labour was going to be easy, she was going to be induced early so she would be getting her epidural for sure and it wasn't new, she had done it twice now, this was going to be a walk in the park.
"Julia said we should give her the middle name Ariel, like the little mermaid" she smiled. Dan laughed to himself as he signed the visa slip.
"Hannah Celia Ariel?" Dan said, it didn't sound right.
"Well Brooke said it should be Cinderella instead of Celia" Serena laughed as she tried to take some of the bags.
"give them to me" Dan held his hand out.
"I can carry a few bags"
"No you can't, you shouldn't even be out you should be in bed...give them to me"
"Fine," she handed them over. "So anyway Brooke wants her middle names to be Cinderella Ariel"
"How bout..." Dan thought for a moment trying to compromise. "Hannah Ella Ariel?"
"really?" she looked shocked that he even considered.
"why not?"
"Well I didn't think you'd be open to our four and six yearold naming our baby"
"Yeah I think it's cute"
"Okay" she smiled.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
"no, no, no, no, no, no" Brooke clung to him holding on for dear life.
"this bed is so comfy" he sat down and she stayed glued to him. "Lay down" he pulled her little hands off his shoulders, she finally let go of him. "your a big girl"
"No...I'm not, i'm not" she whined, her dough eyes sparkling. "I'm still a baby" The problem with Brooke was that Dan and Serena couldn't ignore her cries. They weren't the usual whiny kid cries, they were heartbreaking, as if she was going to have a panic attack, she was literally afraid of her bedroom. Serena frowned as she leaned in the door frame of Brooke's room.
"We can leave the light on, and here's Mr. Pig" he set him beside her, and she sniffled.
"I don't want you!" she pushed the stuffed pig away from her, her little body shaking like a leaf.
"I can't!...but i Cannnnnnt" her big eyes wide and worried.
"Yes you can" Dan reasured her. Serena walked in now and frowned seeing her so upset.
"Okay, you can sleep in Julia's room okay?" Serena tried to get her to calm down.
"No, no, I want to sleep in your room" she looked up at both of them she cried harder now and Serena sat down on her bed. Serena realized this had nothing to do with monsters under her bed or being alone, this had to do with Hannah.
"Brookie, baby...shh" Serena kissed her forehead and held her close.
"You used to love sleeping in your own room remember?" she ran her hands down her hair.
"Come here I have some secrets to tell you, do you know how special Hannah is?" Brooke didn't say anything she just nestled into Serena.
"she's special because daddy and I wanted her so bad and we wished for her for a long time," Serena smiled at her. "she's your baby sister and she's going to need you to teach her how to paint her toenails' Serena wiggled one of Brooke's toes and she giggled a little bit.
"she's going to need you to tell her which stories are stoopid" Serena mocked her, Brooke laughed as Serena tickled her a little bit.
"we can dress her up and play with her and feed her, I'm going to need you to help me" she smiled slightly.
"mommy and daddy love her just as much as we love you" It didn't work she still cried when they tried to leave.
"Okay...okay...You know what...I'm really tired" Dan got under the covers with her. "I might snore though" he told her making her produce a little giggle.
"goodnight" Serena smiled and kissed both of them before walking back downstairs. Within ten minutes Dan appeared in the doorway of his office.
"she's asleep?"
'Yeah" he nodded.
"You wanna come up to bed now?"
"I'm going to be right up, I just have to do something first" Serena grabbed two copies of his book off the shelf. she sat down in one of the big comfy chairs and began to write.
I may not be as good with words as him but your daddy is the absolute love of my life. I can't imagine my life with anyone else, he's my perfect match and I know he loves me just as much as I love him. You are very lucky to have a Daddy like yours. I never had one when I was little. I didn't have one to read me bedtime stories or to play hide and seek with me. I'm jealous when I see you with him, because I never had a relationship like that with my dad. You have the best daddy in the entire world and I will love him forever and ever.
- Mommy.
"Dan?" she walked into her bedroom to find him.
"Yeah?" he looked at her. Before answering him she ran to him and hugged him tightly.
"I love you"
"...I love you too" he looked confused as she closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest.
XOXOXOX
( I really don't like this chapter at all...it's so choppy and maybe a little fluffy but I wanted to give you some of this before all the drama lol. the next chapter is called HANNAH, it's not as sad as the chapter called "The Wurtess day" that's the worst one, I'll warn you. Please review, I know it was terribly long but I decided to just post it all rather than cut some parts out, thank you for reading)