Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. Happy reading!

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Ch. 36

Because I Have You

Severus rolled to his side as he tried to find a comfortable position. He'd transfigured two chairs into a small cot, hopeful he could rest yet stay close to Miriam. As it was, the cot felt hard as a bloody rock and Severus only dozed intermittently. He sighed heavily, tossed the thin cotton blanket aside, and sat up.

Miriam was awake, which surprised Severus. She managed to sit up, and had a pillow clutched to her abdomen. Miriam's body curled around the pillow, and her head bowed down so low that her curls completely obscured her face.

"Miriam?" Severus said quietly.

The agony etched on Miriam's face as she raised her head to look at him caught Severus off guard. Her face appeared drawn in, the deep lines around her forehead, eyes, and mouth pinched her usually smooth features into a grimace. Severus took stock of her shallow breathing and clammy skin, and knew Miriam needed another round of potions.

"You need to wake me if you start to feel poorly," Severus admonished as he sat on the bed next to Miriam. He picked up a vial of pain potion, uncorked it, and offered it to Miriam. Her lips pressed together tightly as she gazed at the vial, and then to Severus. "Mia, you need to take this," Severus reiterated.

Miriam swallowed hard as she continued to eye the potion. "I watched my mother slip away into her vials and bottles until there was nothing left of who she was." Miriam took a few deep breaths as her eyes closed. When she opened them, she stared directly at Severus. "I don't want to be her," Miriam said vehemently.

"You are nothing like her," Severus said firmly. "Do not compare her inability to cope with your recovery from a deadly curse. She was weak. You, little witch, are the strongest woman I know." Severus brushed a curl from Miriam's damp forehead. "For these other potions to be effective, your pain needs to be controlled. Otherwise, I won't know when something gets worse until it's too late. Besides, I won't let you slip away from me," Severus added with a wry grin.

"I don't want to slip away from you," Miriam whispered. "I came back for you," she added as her eyes filled with tears.

Severus had no idea what Miriam referred to, but he did know she needed to calm down. "Shhh. Here," Severus said as he helped Miriam drink the pain potion. "Good. Now, can you tell me where the pain was?"

"Everywhere." Miriam leaned her head back and closed her eyes, the pillow clutched tight to her body. Severus nodded as he watched Miriam's breathing become deeper and less shallow. The potion was already at work easing her discomfort.

"I can't take all your pain away, and I'm sorry. This is the best I can do for now," Severus spoke as he selected more vials for Miriam. "As long as things remain unchanged, your body will begin to heal itself. With the help of these," Severus added as he gave Miriam the vials one at a time. "They will help you, I promise."

"Can you promise they will keep me out of Azkaban?" Miriam asked bitterly as she handed back an empty vial.

Severus frowned at Miriam. "No one has said anything about Azkaban. Where did you get that idea?"

"Come now, Severus. You and I both know what happens when a person uses an Unforgivable. There's a reason why they're called that," Miriam said ruefully. "All your work keeping me alive could be for nothing."

"Enough!" Severus said firmly. He straightened the gray hospital blanket as he continued. "The last thing you should worry about is that awful place. I need you to focus on getting better, so I can take you home. You are not going to Azkaban, not if I have anything to say about it."

Miriam smiled sadly. "But you don't. I fear I have made a horrible mistake, Severus. I'm scared about the outcome… but even the threat of Azkaban wouldn't change my actions," Miriam mused as her eyes misted over.

Severus realized Miriam was right; he didn't make those decisions, only the Wizengamot did. However, if there was any way to keep her out of that maddening prison, Severus would find it. With a decisive hand, Severus drew his wand, and widened the hospital bed. Carefully, Severus sat down next to Miriam. He put his feet on the bed and gingerly slipped his arm around Miriam's shoulders. "We'll figure this out," Severus said quietly. He felt Miriam lean closer, and eventually drift off to sleep.

In the morning, Healer Wright arrived early and checked on Miriam. He seemed pleased with her stable condition and wanted to continue the potions, which Miriam grudgingly agreed to. Severus also received an owl from Auror Bowen. The third person had been located and placed in custody; when they had more information, the Aurors wanted to speak with Miriam.

Severus frowned as he tucked the bit of parchment in his pocket. Things developed rapidly the last twelve hours, and after their brief conversation last night, Severus began to wonder about the consequences for Miriam. She had yet to say what happened in the alley, and Severus didn't want to jump to conclusions. Severus held her hand, and watched as Miriam dozed. His thoughts kept returning to her admission about the Unforgivable, and what it could mean for their future.

A firm knock at the door interrupted the silence and woke Miriam. Severus wondered who could possibly be disturbing them this early in the day. He was about to tell them to leave when Inga's blonde head peeked around the door, a large smile on her face. "Can I come in?"

Without waiting for an answer, Inga swept into the room. Her round face shined with happiness, and Severus noticed immediately the positive influence Inga's presence had on Miriam's mood. Miriam smiled, and it was obvious the two witches were pleased to see each other.

Severus stood and moved back so Inga could greet Miriam without having to approach her broken arm. Though magically mended, it was still very tender and would be for several weeks. Inga bent down and hugged Miriam as she whispered softly in Miriam's ear. Inga then turned and without warning enveloped Severus in a hug. Too shocked to pull back, Severus stood stiffly, his arms at his sides. "Thank you for bringing her back to us!" Inga exclaimed.

Severus didn't think it possible, but Inga squeezed him tighter. He recovered just enough to mutter a quiet "You're welcome," before awkwardly patting the witch on the back. Inga pulled away beaming, then turned around. Behind her stood another, older witch.

"Severus, this is my mother, Helga. Mama, this is Severus Snape, the wizard I told you about." Severus nodded his head as the tall witch approached him. He was about to offer his hand when Severus found himself on the receiving end of another hug. For a witch of advanced age, Helga had a bone-crushing grip. As he felt something pop in his back, Severus wondered if Helga squeezed her grandchildren that hard.

Helga pulled away and held Severus at arms-length as she looked him over. She nodded her head slowly. "Ja! He will do nicely," Helga said in her heavy Swedish accent. She swatted Severus on the shoulder. "You should eat. Go, and let us women work."

"I don't think…" Severus started to say he wasn't leaving until Inga interrupted him.

"Severus, when was the last time you took a break?" Inga asked. "Go to the tea room, get some breakfast. Mama and I are going to freshen Miriam up." Inga turned to Miriam and smiled. "A bath and some clean clothes will do wonders for your spirits."

Severus looked around Inga and spoke to Miriam. "Are you sure you feel up to this?"

Miriam nodded slowly. "I really don't feel like myself, looking like this. I'll be fine."

Severus nodded, stepped beside the bed and leaned close to Miriam. "I will be in the tea room, then. Have Inga get me when you are ready."

Miriam's hand grasped his shoulder, and Severus stooped even lower. "Sorry about all the hugs," she whispered in his ear.

Severus pulled back slightly. Though she didn't smile, the mirth in Miriam's eyes made his previous discomfort worthwhile. "I'll survive, though you'll need to make up for it later," Severus murmured.

He straightened and debated staying, but Severus knew he couldn't be attached to Miriam every second of the day. With a fair amount of trepidation, Severus left Miriam in Inga's care and made his way to the tea room. It felt strange to be in another area of the hospital, but the closer Severus got to the tea room he realized how hungry he was. He saw Will seated at a small table next to the large windows, and Severus debated leaving him to it until Will motioned him over. Severus wove his way around the round tables and sat down as Will poured him a cup of tea. "Did the ladies kick you out?"

"Yes," Severus said as he took a vanilla crown from the pastry basket. "Apparently I need a break, and your mother-in-law seems to think I'll do just fine, even though I need to eat more."

Will snorted and sat down his cup. "That's Helga. She shows her love with food – it's a miracle I don't weigh twenty stones." Severus chuckled as Will continued. "The woman has a heart of gold, but she will royally eff you over if you cross her. So, it's for the best if she approves of you."

Severus made a small noise of agreement as he took a bite of his pastry. The two men ate in silence until Severus mentioned the owl he received this morning. Will was unaware of a third person, and he seemed relieved to know they were in custody. "I just don't understand why this happened," Will said as he shook his head. "I mean, it's not the first time we've dealt with disgruntled people, but never like this."

"What?" Severus asked as his eyebrows climbed up his forehead.

Will waved his hand as if he was swatting a fly. "Oh, a year ago someone sent us a piece of incendiary post. When Miriam tossed it on the desk, it went off and took out our reception area. Nasty bit of cleanup, that was."

Severus clunked his cup down on its saucer, flabbergasted this was the first he'd heard of this. He opened his mouth to speak, then quickly shut it. For someone who survived the war, Severus was shocked at Will's lackadaisical attitude. At length, Severus spoke. "I can't believe you would take something of that nature so lightly, Will. This is your livelihood, yes, but it's ultimately about your and Miriam's lives."

Will frowned into his tea cup, silenced by Severus' admonishment. "Look, Severus. I know you don't think I'm trying hard enough. After all this, maybe you're right. It hasn't occurred to me until now that our company is overdue in implementing some security changes."

"Damn right it's overdue," Severus groused. "There will be changes, otherwise I can't support Miriam going back when all this is over."

"Do you really think you're going to tell Miriam what to do?" Will said with a laugh.

"No," Severus replied simply. He knew making demands of Miriam was out of the question. "While this is fresh in her mind, I plan to convince her to allow me to put some measures in place. As long as you're agreeable as well. You must realize Will, this isn't just for Miriam. You have a wife and two sons that need you to come home at the end of the day."

Will paled slightly at Severus' comment. "I never fully realized that along the way, we've made some enemies," Will said as he sighed heavily. "Anything you think would help, Severus, I'm willing to support."

"Good," Severus said as he picked up his vanilla crown. "Now, about this owl from the Aurors. I don't think Miriam should see anyone else today; we don't want to tire her out. Suggest to the lawyer when you owl him to come first thing tomorrow morning, and the Aurors after that."

Will nodded in agreement. "Better to get it all over with at once," Will said as he looked past Severus to the door. Severus turned and noticed Inga standing in the doorway. She made her way to their table and sat down. "So, how is Miriam?" Will asked as he poured out another cup.

"I've seen her better," Inga said bluntly. "I'm worried, Will….she seems depressed, almost despondent."

"That's natural after everything she's been through, isn't it?" Will asked. Inga shot him a look and Will held up his hands in surrender. "I know that look, so excuse me while I make my exit. I'll send an owl to the lawyer now," Will said to Severus. As he left, Will placed a kiss on Inga's cheek, and she smiled at her husband.

"So," Inga said as she turned her attention to Severus. Her eyes practically glittered as she looked the wizard over. "I must admit, I'm dying to ask you a thousand questions." Severus paled slightly, and Inga grinned. "Don't worry, Miriam asked me to go easy on you. She's told me how private you are, and I will respect that."

"Oh," was all Severus could muster as relief flooded through him. Severus hated to talk about himself, and he was grateful Miriam's request spared him for now.

Inga smiled again. "I am truly indebted to you. What you've done for Miriam…for us, there's no way to repay that. Losing Miriam would be a tragedy to my family, and personally I don't think I could bear it."

"There's no payment needed. I have my own selfish reasons where Miriam is concerned." Inga nodded in understanding as she reached into the pastry basket. Severus watched as Inga frowned slightly at the scone she'd picked and busied herself with buttering it. "How are you doing?" Severus found himself asking the blonde witch across from him.

Inga released a puff of air that sounded something like a cross between a scoff and a sigh. "I don't know. Some days are good, and I don't remember every minute that I lost my daughter. Then, there are the days where that is all I think about." Inga pursed her lips and looked at Severus. "It hurts, emotionally…and physically, too."

Severus nodded slowly and tried to process everything he just heard. He honestly had no idea Inga carried all that with her. She appeared so put together. Severus watched Inga as she thoughtfully chewed on the scone and gazed out the window. When Inga looked at him again, she said. "Miriam is going to go through hell, with her recovery and whatever the Wizengamot throws at her. Do you feel prepared to handle that?"

Inga voiced a question that he dared not, though it stayed with him all morning. Severus easily saw Miriam's physical struggles, and he got a brief glimpse of her inner turmoil last night. He also knew Mia well enough that those glimpses were just the tip of an iceberg. "Miriam is…she changed my life, and everything I thought I wanted. She's very special to me. Prepared or not, I will help her with anything that comes our way."

Inga studied Severus, and at length, she spoke. "She loves you. I'm sure you know that, though," Inga said quietly. "Miriam's waited a long time for a devoted wizard to come into her life, and I'm grateful she's found that in you."

Severus dropped his gaze to the table. The conversation abruptly turned rather personal, and Severus felt unsure what to say. Fortunately, Inga sensed his discomfort and gave him an out. She suggested he check on Miriam, and Severus readily agreed. When his dark eyes met Inga's light ones to take his leave of her, the awkwardness vanished.

When Severus returned to the room, Helga was gently applying Star Grass salve around Miriam's eye. Severus noticed immediately the positive changes in Miriam. The standard hospital gown was gone, replaced by one of Miriam's cotton night gowns. The pink blush of her skin told Severus Miriam just finished a warm bath. Severus marveled at how much the two witches accomplished in the short time he was gone; one of them had even managed to plait Miriam's curls into a long braid. Miriam looked more like herself, and that pleased Severus.

Helga glanced over at Severus as he sat in the chair next to the bed. "Couldn't stay away, I see," Helga said gently. The smile on the witch's face told Severus Helga was joking with him. He nodded slightly and Helga finished applying the salve. "Did you make this?" Helga asked as she held up the jar.

"I did," Severus replied.

"It's an excellent quality," Helga said as she screwed on the lid. "The consistency is smooth, not grainy - or oily - like the salve you find at most apothecaries."

"You have to know how long to simmer the ingredients," Miriam said quietly. "There's a fine line between under-brewed and over-brewed."

Severus and Miriam shared a knowing look and Helga chuckled as she glanced at the pair. "So I noticed. Well dear, I shall leave you. Inga and I will be back tomorrow. Get some rest, and set your worries aside. Everything will work out." Miriam nodded. Helga smiled and patted Miriam gently on the leg before she left the room.

When they were alone, Severus moved and sat on the edge of the bed. "Look at you," Severus murmured as he lightly fingered Miriam's braid. "You are lovely."

"Oh, please Severus. You and I both know I look like hell right now."

Severus shook his head. "Your beauty isn't solely your looks. It's the way you are, little witch; strong, clever, and resourceful, among other things."

Miriam's lips parted in surprise. She still couldn't understand how a deeply private man like Severus could take the simplest phrase and utter it so Miriam felt it in her soul. "Oh, Severus," Miriam said softly. "You always know what I need to hear."

Severus watched as Miriam's surprised expression turned pensive, and he wondered what she was thinking. "Are you tired?" Severus asked as he covered Miriam's hand with his.

Miriam looked at Severus as his dark eyes searched her features intently. She knew Severus wanted an answer so he could fix the problem. This time, though, the problem was Miriam's mind; her memories of the fight in the alley plagued her. She felt afraid of Severus' reaction – Miriam didn't know if he would think less of her, and how she would take it if he did. Would Severus be angry, or tell her she was at fault? Not knowing was eating her up inside, and whether she wanted to or not, Miriam needed to talk.

"Can we talk…about what happened?" Miriam managed to ask before her courage failed her.

Miriam's voice was barely a whisper when she spoke, and Severus frowned slightly. "Are you sure you feel up to it?" Miriam shook her head slightly, and a large tear slid down her cheek. "We can wait," Severus said firmly as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and caught Miriam's tear.

"No, I can't," Miriam blurted out. "I know I have to talk to the Aurors and my lawyer soon, but I want you to hear about what happened first."

Severus arched an eyebrow as Miriam looked at him imploringly. All his speculation would soon be at an end, yet he felt uneasy about Miriam's sudden urgency. Severus kept his voice calm and replied, "I'm listening."

Miriam took a deep breath and began to tell Severus everything that happened from the time she left the meeting. It was easier to look down at her hands than it was to look Severus in the eye, so that's what Miriam did. Miriam's voice broke slightly as she told Severus about the large man's attempt to rape her in the alley, and once she reached that point in the story it was as though a dam had burst. The words spilled out of Miriam as she began to cry again. She used Severus' handkerchief to blot at her face, irritated over her emotional outbursts. She hated crying so much, but lately it seemed the only thing that made her feel better.

Severus listened intently until Miriam finished talking. Anger began to build slowly as Severus heard about the rough treatment Miriam endured; but when she spoke of the attempted rape, a deep hatred began to boil within Severus. How dare that tosser think he could take those liberties and get away with it, Severus thought to himself. No one had that right, and Severus' possessive nature began to plot retribution.

Severus briefly closed his eyes. He wished he could go back – change the events that transpired- or at the very least Obliviate Miriam's memories. But he couldn't, and that knowledge made Severus feel helpless. Miriam didn't deserve that man's unwanted advances, and she certainly didn't deserve the pain the curse inflicted on her body. He didn't know what to do. What did Miriam need, or want from him? Severus knew he needed to respond, but he didn't want to say or do the wrong thing. "Tell me what you need," Severus finally said.

Miriam sniffed loudly as she answered. "I need you to hold me."

That, Severus knew he was capable of. "Come here," he said as his arms opened to embrace Miriam. As she reached for him, Severus gently slipped his arms around her. His hand unconsciously rubbed the small dip between Miriam's shoulders as Severus waited for Miriam to stop crying. "I haven't held you in my arms since the morning you left," Severus said quietly. "I am proud of you, Mia. You fought your way here, and I am so grateful for the chance to hold you again."

"You don't hate me, then?" Miriam asked, the surprise in her voice evident.

"Why would I hate you? You did nothing wrong."

Severus' words echoed around her, and Miriam felt her uneasiness fade away. With effort, Miriam moved so she could look at Severus. "I don't know. I thought you might not want me, anymore. I feel cheap…and used. Not to mention, I'm a murderer now. I'm still confused about why they were after me and why the one felt he could do that."

"He went for you first, and if you hadn't recognized his intent the outcome would be very different," Severus said firmly. "Your memories will clearly show that. As for why, I don't know, either. The truth will out, I'm sure." Severus paused as his anger returned. "I do know the arse who tried to rape you should pray the Wizengamot gives him a lengthy Azkaban sentence - because if he gets out, I'll kill him."

The tone of Severus' words were hard, and cold. Miriam did not doubt the truth behind his statement. Rather than feeling upset by Severus' declaration, Miriam felt relieved. Their eyes met. "I'll help you hide the body," Miriam said softly.

"I know," Severus replied evenly as they stared at each other. He knew she would, too. "Never doubt my feelings, Mia. I plan to want you for a long time." Miriam smiled, and Severus continued. "Just tell me what you feel you can handle, or what you need from me."

"I want to forget he ever touched me," Miriam said immediately.

Severus smiled slightly. "I may not be able to take your memories from you, but when you are ready, I will help you forget."

"Good," Miriam answered as she leaned into Severus' embrace. Her side began to ache, and Miriam grew cross; she didn't want to move. She wanted to stay wrapped in Severus' arms as long as possible. "Could you hold me tighter, Severus?" As Severus squeezed Miriam his arms acted like a compress, and the pressure made the pain tolerable. Holding Severus felt right, and long overdue.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Severus asked.

Curious, Miriam gave a quick reply. "Of course."

"I spoke with Will in the tea room. He mentioned that piece of mail you received a year ago at B&M. Add to that what just happened..." Severus trailed off, then started again. "I think we need to overhaul the security measures your company has in place. I also want to hire an assistant for you," Severus added.

"You mean a bodyguard," Miriam interjected. "Enemies are a result of being successful, Severus. Besides, who do you propose we have work on these security improvements?"

"Me. I feel I am more than qualified, and I also think an assistant would be a great help to you." Miriam frowned at Severus. "Mia, I'm concerned for your safety if you return to the company as it stands now."

Miriam sighed heavily. A stabbing pain shot across her right side and Miriam groaned loudly. Startled, Severus immediately dropped the subject and switched to his role as caretaker.

"Lie down," Severus instructed as he helped her move. "Slowly….good." Once Miriam was down, she watched as Severus pulled vials out of his stash. Frustration filled Miriam, and she felt as though she was a spectator watching her life from the sidelines. Would she ever be well enough to do something as simple as finish a conversation?

Severus produced a vial and Miriam drank the contents without hesitation. The potion began its job and Miriam breathed a sigh of relief. She felt her pain slowly melt away, but the words Severus spoke stuck in her head. Though she didn't want to admit it, Severus had a point. Things were out of hand, and she almost paid dearly for their lax in vigilance. Ian's parting words rang through her head, and Miriam knew this was only the beginning of her heeding that advice.

Severus ran his hand over the gentle curve of Miriam's face as he studied her. "Try and relax. We can talk more tomorrow."

Miriam shook her head. "No, it's fine Severus. Whatever you feel needs done, go ahead," Miriam replied.

Severus' dark eyes widened with surprise. He honestly expected to gradually wear Miriam down over several conversations. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Are you saying now nothing needs to change?"

The look Miriam gave Severus made him smirk. "No. It's not like you to agree so readily, though. I prepared myself for several rounds of witty banter, only to have you pull the rug out from under me."

"Well, at least there's one thing I can still do while completely incapacitated - keep you on your toes," Miriam said drily. She paused for a moment, then added, "There's something else I want to talk to you about, but not right now. Nothing dire," Miriam added after Severus gave her a wary look. "It was an experience that made me realize I can't fight this on my own. Maybe, I shouldn't have to."

"You don't have to do anything on your own," Severus started to say.

"Because I have you," Miriam interrupted, her voice steady, yet soft.

"Yes, you do," Severus answered. He felt Miriam squeeze his hand as she closed her eyes. "I love you, Miriam."

Miriam opened her eyes. "I love you, too. There's room for one more, you know." Miriam patted the mattress beside her. "Unless you like sleeping on that little cot."

Severus grinned. "How can I say no?" he asked, and gently stretched out next to Miriam. She smiled and leaned closer; Severus couldn't resist tracing the line of her jaw as he observed her. "Besides, I know you sleep better next to me, anyway," Severus teased.

Miriam smiled. "My secret is out," Miriam murmured as she twined her fingers through his. Severus watched intently as her eyes drifted closed. He knew sleep was the best thing for Miriam right now, as it allowed her body time to heal, but it surprised Severus how quickly she nodded off. He closed his eyes and sighed; Severus was not a napper, but he would stay by Miriam's side until she had need of him.

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A/N: I'm back! It took forever to get this chapter to a point where I liked it, but here it is :) Things are busy here with everyone back in school, but I wanted to get this to all of you before the weekend. Enjoy, THANK YOU for all your reviews and favorites. Your support truly brightens my day!