Chapter 35

Author's Note: How good was this fricken episode? Season 3 is by far my favorite season... anyway i Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Kara stood in front of Lena's mansion with a box of cronuts in her hand. She wasn't sure if she wanted to enter the house or not. She knew that Lena and Alex, in particular, were going to be mad at her which is why she flew to Metropolis with Clark, to buy some for them.

She used her supervision to peak through the house to see what everyone was doing. Everyone was sitting on the couch… drinking scotch?

Rao, her hand was hovering over the doorknob, she wasn't sure why she was so nervous. Maybe it was because she knew how angry Lena and Alex would get.

She was still watching them from the outside… was she a creep? Was she being creepy right now? Okay, she should definitely stop using her x-ray vision. She blinked a couple of times before twisting the door knob.

Someone should really lock the door.

The first person to react was Lena, she immediately shot out of her seat and ran towards to the door where she saw her girlfriend standing there.

"Hi?" Kara said with a small wave. She saw her sister stand up from the couch and walk to the front door with Maggie, "I got cronuts" She said excitedly, hoping to clear the tension in the room.

"You are in so much fucking trouble" Alex shouted at her sister.

Lena didn't bother to hug Kara, instead she gave her a stern look, and Kara knew that she deserved it.

"Lena… I can explain" Kara said, she was pretty sure she was in a lot of trouble right now. Lena pinched the bridge of her nose before shaking her head.

"Don't bother" She replied before turning her back to walk upstairs, "I'm glad your safe" she replied tiredly before leaving Kara alone with Alex and Maggie.

"But I got cronuts" Kara mumbled underneath her breath.

"You can keep your stupid cronuts" Lena shouted from on top of the stairs before slamming the door shut.

Kara knew why Lena was mad at her, she shouldn't have just left like that. It wasn't right of her.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked Kara in a soft tone.

Kara nodded her head, despite feeling crushed that she had hurt Lena without meaning to, "Are you guys okay? Today was..."

"Crazy… Confusing… emotional" Maggie started listing off any words that she could think of describe the events.

Kara nodded her head, she placed the cronuts down onto the table.

Kara felt guilty for dragging Maggie into this, "I know this isn't what you signed up for. Please don't take out your anger on Alex, this whole situation is my fault. Just don't be mad at Alex for any of this"

"Slow down little Danvers, I'm not breaking up with Alex over this" Maggie calmed Kara down, "This… whole alien thing… isn't going to scare me away"

Kara let out a sigh of relief, she was thankful that Maggie wasn't easily scared away.

"Okay Kara, you have 2 choices, you either stay downstairs and tell me what's wrong, or you march your ass upstairs and fix things with your girl" Alex said

Kara looked upstairs, she was going to use her x-ray vision to check if Lena needed her or not. But before she could, Alex picked up a vase and threw it Kara.

Kara out of quick instinct, turned her attention on the vase and caught it, "What the hell Alex?" she shouted at her sister for throwing a case at her head.

"Don't even think about using your powers" Alex shouted at her sister, Kara placed the vase back onto the table that Alex took it from.

She wandered just how drunk Alex was.

"She's pretty drunk" Maggie said as if she could read Kara's thoughts.

"Yeah, no kidding" Kara mumbled under her breathing, "Alex, would you calm down?" she asked as she could feel the anger radiating off of her sister.

"Calm down?" Alex shouted, Kara was regretting walking through the door, maybe she could have slept outside in the trees, "You want me to calm down?"

"W-well… I know you have every right to be mad at me... but hear me out" Kara threw her hands up in the air defensively.

"I'm listening" Alex shouted

Kara bit her lip as she tried to think of a good excuse… she would use the excuse that she felt over whelmed with everything, but it wasn't okay for her to just leave like that.

"Well…"

"God Kara" Alex walked over to the living room, she poured herself another cup, gulping it down, "You died… and you're acting as if it wasn't a big deal"

"it's not a big deal" Kara countered, she didn't think it was a big deal, but obviously she was wrong.

Alex could not believe what Kara was saying right now, "How the fuck is it not a big deal? Your heart stopped beating Kara. Quit acting like it was nothing" Drunk Alex was so damn angry that her sister wasn't addressing the issue of her dying.

"But I'm alive, I'm breathing the same air as you are right now" Kara tried to calm her sister down, trying to show her that she was safe.

"Fine" Alex shouted, "If you're not going to address the fact that you died, let's talk about the fact that you just left… You just flew out of the house, without telling anyone"

"Superman was following me" Kara tried to show Alex that she was fine, but mentioning Superman's name wasn't the best way to do that apparently. In fact, it only made Alex angrier.

"Oh great, I feel so reassured that the man, who brought all of his fucking shit from metropolis to Midvale, is flying after you" Alex shouted, "While the rest of us have to sit here and wander whether your fucking okay or not… which you're not by the way"

"I am fine Alex"

"Quit saying that" Alex screamed, she slammed the glass onto the floor, she was so sick and tired of Kara telling her that she was okay when she isn't, "I'm not fucking stupid, I know that you're hurting, I know that when Clark mentioned Astra's name, something inside of you clicked… I'm not a fucking moron"

Alex was right about everything, something did click within Kara when she heard that name. But Kara didn't want to admit it… she didn't want to dump all of her baggage on Alex.

"I never said that you were" Kara mumbled quietly.

"Then stop treating me as if I am" Alex loved her sister to death, she loved her so much that it physically pained her to know that Kara was hurting on the inside. It hurt knowing that Kara was bottling it all up, "I am your sister Kara, I want you to talk to me about your feelings… I don't want you to bottle it up"

Kara thought that hiding her feeling was protecting Alex, protecting everyone. But apparently that did the complete opposite. Instead, it frustrated them to no end.

"Do you not trust me?" Alex asked after second of silence, her voice slightly cracking.

"What? Of course, I trust you" Kara didn't know where this was coming from, she trusted Alex more than anyone on this planet.

"Then start acting like it" Alex shouted, "I never pushed you to talk, never. And 2 nights ago, you came home looking more broken than I've ever seen you looking before"

Kara looked down at her fingers, she didn't mean to do this Alex, she didn't mean to hurt her sister.

"I don't want to bother you with my problems" Kara didn't know why she was still trying to justify her actions.

Alex looked ready to shout at Kara again, but she took a dep breath, calming herself down, "Kara… you wake up every night from a nightmare that I know nothing about because you never talk to me. You came home covered in bruises and cuts, not to mention the fact that you also blew out your powers… and I have to find out why because you are in a verbal sparring match with your cousin"

"Do you understand how terrified I was for you? Do you understand that I worry about you all the time, because you never talk to anyone about your feelings? Not even your own damn girlfriend!" Alex was so tired, she was tired of worrying about Kara, don't get her wrong, she oved her sister and will never stop worrying about her, but Kara needed to understand that it was okay to talk about her feelings.

"Alex… I'm so—"

"I don't want to hear you apologises" Alex quickly cut her sister off, "I just want you to talk to me" she muttered before leaving the room to go upstairs.

Kara rubbed her eyes tiredly, and Maggie gave her a sympathetic look, "Once she sobers up, she will apologise for what she said"

Kara didn't want to hear an apology from Alex, she only wanted to make things right with her. She moved to the couch and collapsed against it, "She doesn't need to apologise to me"

Maggie nodded her head, taking a seat on the opposite end of Kara and pouring herself and Kara a glass.

Kara took the glass, but she knew that it wouldn't have affected her.

"Probably not… but she will" Maggie said as she sipped the scotch.

"Aren't you going to lecture me too?" Kara asked as she played with her drink.

Maggie let out a soft scoff, "I am in no position to lecture you"

"No… but you agree with what Alex said"

Maggie shrugged her shoulders, she agreed with Alex on most things, including this, but she has no right to comment on Kara's life, especially since she barely knew her.

"I think… that you supress all the negative emotions that you feel, because you are afraid of who you will become if you let those emotions out" Maggie commented, she wasn't sure if she was in the position to say this.

Kara nibbled on her lips, not commenting on what Maggie said.

"And I get that… but by hiding it… you're only closing yourself off and pushing away the people you love"

"That's not what I'm doing" Kara wasn't trying to push people away from her, at least not intentionally.

"No?" Maggie raised an eyebrow at her, "Than what is it you are doing? Because it looks like to me, that you are so afraid of telling Lena and Alex how you feel because you think that they will hate you for it. You think that they are going to look at you differently"

Kara hated how Maggie was right, she was afraid that Alex and Lena would become scared of her because of those negative emotions that she feels.

Kara avoided saying anything and tried to drink the liquid in her hand, she completely forgot that it was scotch and instantly spat it back out, "Rao, how the hell did Alex drink 3 cups of this?" she shouted as she wiped her mouth with disgust.

"Well…. Lena drank 5 cups and it's because your sister has weird taste"

"Well that explains why she's dating you" Kara joked, her lips curled into a smile as Maggie gasped in offence.

"Excuse me? I am not weird" Maggie argued

"Yeah, because every normal person eats vegan ice-cream and vegetarian meals" Kara replied

"There is nothing wrong with vegan ice cream, and I will have you know that there are over 375 million people who are vegetarian" Maggie stated her facts proudly.

Kara gasped in shock, she put her hand over her chest, "Oh my rao, those poor humans" she couldn't imagine a life where she would only have to eat vegetables and no meat. It sounds to cruel to be true.

"You ate my vegetarian meals a couple weeks ago, you were practically breathing it" Maggie shot back.

"In my defence, I was hungry. And just because I ate 5 bowls of your weird stew, it doesn't mean I liked it"

"You ate 10 bowels, and I think that is the exact definition of liking it"

"I was hungry!" Kara shouted back, her stomach started growling, which reminded her of the cronuts. She stood back up to get a cronut, "Want one?"

"No thanks, you wouldn't want my vegetarian diet to affect your cronuts" Maggie replied sarcastically, she stood up, "Plus, I think I should go check on Alex"

Kara nodded her head, "I will speak to her tomorrow when she is sober"

Maggie thought that was a good option, "I'd be careful if I were you, Lena is drunk as well… which probably means she extra agitated and angry"

"Thanks for the warning" Kara replied as she gulped down a cronut.

Maggie started walking up the stairs, "Kara?" she turned around to look at the girl who was cramming cronuts in her mouth, "I want to get to know you… could we hang out sometime?"

Kara nodded her head excitedly, "iwouldlovetoo" she spoke with her mouth filled with cronuts.

"Night Little Danvers"

-00—

After a few minutes of pacing up and down the hallways, Kara finally opened the door to Lena's bed room, and yes, she was very hesitant to do so. She walked in to see Lena lying in bed with her glasses on, reading a book.

"Lena?" Kara spoke in a soft and gentle tone, she heard Lena's heart beat spike, but she watched as Lena chose to ignore her, "Lena… can we please talk" she didn't like fighting with Lena.

"Are you sure you don't prefer to fly away?" Lena muttered as she squinted her eyes, trying to concentrate on the words on the page of her book, "Plus, can't you see that I'm busy?"

"Lena, I know that you're not reading" Kara said as she closed the door behind her and started to make her way to Lena.

"And how would you know that?" Lena shot back as she tried to adjust the glasses on her face.

"Because those are my glasses and they don't actually work" Kara pointed to the glasses on Lena's face. Lena angrily ripped of Kara's glasses before chucking it at Kara, who quickly caught it, "Why do drunk people like throwing things at me?" she mumbled as she put her glasses onto the table bed next to Lena.

Lena slammed her book shut and swung her legs over the bed to stand up, "I'm pissed at you"

Kara nodded her head, "Yeah… I kind of got that from the way you threw my glasses at me"

"Jesus Kara, you keep doing this" Lena shouted angrily. Kara felt like this wasn't just about today, "I understand why you left… trust me, I'm pissed that you decided to fly away without giving anyone an explanation, but I understand"

Kara wasn't sure where this was going, but she continued to stare at Lena with an apologetic feature across her face.

"What I don't get, is what you said to me" She stated as she started to march up to Kara.

Kara didn't remember what she had said to Lena, what had she said that hurt Lena this much?

"Lena… What did I say?" Kara asked softly, trying to not poke the angry beast with a simple yet oblivious question.

"God Kara, you told me to fucking stop" Lena screamed at her, tears were evidently filling her eyes as she recalled what Kara had said, "You told me to stop trying to fucking save you"

Kara opened her mouth, ready to deny it… but she did tell Lena to stop. She closed her mouth and looked down at her feet.

"I—"

"No" Lena cut Kara off, "You don't get to fucking justify your actions. You do not have any right to tell me to stop trying to save you"

Kara couldn't argue with Lena, she couldn't tell Lena that she was so sick of fighting all the damn time.

"Why?" Lena asked, Kara didn't mean to make Lena cry like this, "Why did you ask me to stop?"

Kara wasn't going to tell Lena why… she couldn't confront that part of her that she spent so long supressing.

"I don't know" Kara mumbled softly.

"I feel like… I don't even know you sometimes" Lena cried, she saw Kara flinch, but she didn't say a word.

Lena was becoming increasingly frustrated that Kara never confided in her, it sounds petty and stupid. But it was hard watching Kara go through a range of emotion, and not confiding in anyone about it.

She didn't care if Kara confided in her or Alex… God, she just wanted Kara to talk to someone. It was hard watching someone walking down a destructive path, especially when that person had a heart of a hero.

Lena kept replaying the events of Kara's anger that she spent so long trying to supress, it was hard to watch Kara snap all of a sudden, especially since she knew that she couldn't do anything to help her.

"God Kara, how the fuck am I supposed be in relationship with you, when you don't even trust me to tell me how you feel?" Lena screamed angrily.

Silence filled the air.

Kara clenched her jaw, trying not to cry at Lena's words. Lena wasn't wrong, Kara never confided in her, unless she was at her absolute breaking point. But she thought that she was protecting Lena… she thought she was protecting everyone by hiding how she was really feeling.

"Fuck" Lena wiped away a tear angrily, "I didn't mean that" she whispered softly.

Kara knew that Lena did mean that, and she was right to some extent, "No… you did"

Lena rubbed her eyes, she really shouldn't be having this conversation when she was drunk and angry, "I'm just…"

"Tired" Kara answered for her, "I know… I should let you rest" Kara made a move to leave but Lena reached out to grab Kara's arm.

Despite anything, Lena couldn't lose Kara. She didn't want to take any chances that resulted in Kara running away.

Believe it not, when Kara was forced to confront her feelings and guilt, she tended to run away from the situation at hand.

And Lena didn't want Kara to run.

"Please… please don't leave" Lena begged quietly, "Sleep with me tonight"

Kara was slightly taken back, Lena just spend a solid 10 minutes screaming at her angrily.

Kara couldn't say no to her, and it wasn't like she was going to anyway. She walked over to turn off the lights before climbing into bed with Lena.

Kara wasn't sure how Lena wanted her to be. But Lena immediately pulled Kara close to her and snuggled into her chest. Kara didn't hesitate to put her arms around Lena, bring her girlfriend warmth.

-00-

Kara stirred in her sleep, she could hear a high-pitch sound coming from outside. She looked at Lena who was sleeping peacefully. She wasn't sure if Lena could hear it too, but she assumed that she couldn't considering how she didn't even stir.

She didn't blame Lena for sleeping as if she was dead, Lena was absolutely exhausted.

Kara quietly climbed out of bed, making sure to not wake Lena up. She was good at that, sneaking out of bed without waking anyone up. Using her powers did help, she knew that the wooden floor beneath her feet would creak under her weight, which would most likely than not, wake everyone up.

So, she practically hovered out of bed, and flew downstairs to go outside.

The wind instantly hit her body when she opened the door, causing her to shiver. She wasn't sure where the sound was coming from, but she was pretty sure it was coming from the forest behind Lena's house.

Maybe she should wake Lena up… at least to let her know where she was going, but she desperately wanted Lena to rest.

So, instead, she closed the door behind her as she entered the forest, coming closer and closer to the source of the noise until she saw a figure standing in there with something in their hand… it looked like a small communicating device.

The figure instantly turned around.

"Astra" Kara breathed out at the sight of her aunt.