Sasori was being sneaky this morning. He had this all planned out two weeks ago, even before the little scamps birthday, and it was finally time to take action. Honestly, he was worried out of his brains that this could end up being the worst day of his life. Sure he had had plenty of bad days that could be considered the worst, but Deidara liked to prove that what he considered "worst" wasn't even the worst of it all!

"School school school! I love school!"

Sasori eyed up the shirtless boy sitting at the table happily eating his breakfast being completely unaware of what was to come. Sneaky. Oh yes, he had to be sneaky...

"Oop! I better hurry up or I'll be late for school, un!"

Sneaky...

Deidara gulped down the leftover sugary milk from his cereal and nearly fell off the chair as he ran into his room to finish getting dressed. "Finish" because he considered taking his pajama shirt and socks off as "starting". At least the child had been calm enough to let the older go at brushing his ever growing hair while he ate - even though that proved to be a deadly chore of its own.

Ouchie hair brushing aside, Deidara was ready to have a wonderful day! The birdies were singing and the sun was shining! The weather was just beginning to warm up so that meant it would be getting more and more wonderful. It was just great to be alive.

My what a lovely day in May.

"Hey Dei, I got your bag ready." Sasori said slowly popping his head into the door to inspect the child's outfit. If it were up to Deidara, he'd wear something ridiculous like his Halloween costume, dirty clothes or even the same bird shirt he'd been wearing for the past week.

"Oki Danna, un." Deidara chirped back putting the now , thanks to yesterdays dinner, dirty bird shirt on.

"How about something else?" Sasori suggested walking to the blonds closet and having a quick look through it. "Ohhh, blue! You like blue!"

Deidara threw his hands in the air exasperated. "No!"

"Red? I KNOW you like red."

Deidara threw himself onto the floor this time. "Nooo!"

Sasori rolled his eyes as he quickly gave up. They still had plans this morning that needed to be taken care of. Sneaky plans.

"This is what you're wearing." He grumbled ripping the dirty shirt off the boy and taking it to the laundry room. When he came back he saw Deidara looking sadly at the long sleeve tee his Danna had picked out for him.

That wouldn't work on him though.

Sasori just grunted and put it on him. Today was going to be tough and he'd be damned if it became "The day Deidara wanted to wear a bird shirt". He had already made plans and they were going to happen!

"Alright let's get in the car." Sasori sighed with a whistle, opening the front door. The easy part was done; getting Deidara to leave the house.

Now for the real hard part.

As they drove in the car and they pulled up the school. Sasori twisted the steering wheel cover nervously making squeaking noises. Turning back, he asked they wait in the car a moment. Deidara, excited to go to school, reluctantly agreed but did so without any complaint.

It was when they pulled away that he got vocal. "Where we goin!? School is back there, back there! Ahh!"

"I... forgot your lunch on the table."

Deidara blinked, reaching to his right he struggled to look in his bag and by golly it wasn't there! Thanks to Danna he was going to be late! Wait... Danna hates late. Danna likes to make sure every little thing is perfect. Why is he so calm? How did he even know it was forgotten at home? Why is the car not going in the direction of home!?

"Danna! Where are we going, un?"

"Somewhere fun."

Deidara squinted his eyes now. Danna never had fun. He was like, the most unfun guy on the planet - maybe the universe! He still managed to be great in Deidara's eyes, don't get me wrong, however he knew about the guy well enough to know when something was up.

"Am I dyin?"

"No."

"Are you dyin?"

Sasori sighed and grumbled quietly, "A more little everyday."

"Huh!?" Deidara looked at the building and paled a little. He knew this place and was already far from happy. Danna pulled him out of amazing-fun-school and took him to the doctors! They were probably going to give him a shot!

"Nooo!" Deidara cried raising his arms and bending his body to push himself out of his carseat. "Not this place, un!"

Sasori was quick to get out of the car and drag Deidara out of it. This was happening if he liked it or not! What was scary about the doctors anyway? They check you out and give you a sticker at the end! Well, Sasori knew for a fact Deidara was getting a shot today, so yes there was that too. Really though, this was no biggie! Deidara just had to stop being a big baby.

"Waaah!" Deidara sobbed in Sasori's arms (and ears) all the way from the car to inside the building. Every step closer to the front door a new body part would move. Kicking, scratching, head thrashing and so on and so forth; Deidara took part in it all.

"Deidara for gods sake! You're six now and no longer a baby." He hissed before he opened the office door with his hip, hoping that would encourage the lad to quiet down.

Perhaps an audience would quiet his riot.

Entering the pediatric office, Sasori looked to the corner of the room to see a play table and a shelf with children's books and drawing table. He made sure to point it out to the blond that he could play there after they checked in with the receptionist.

"Katsuya Deidara is here." He muttered shifting the boy to his other hip. Deidara may be small for his age, but that didn't mean he wasn't getting bigger. That and Sasori doesn't have muscles.

The receptionist looked at her screen, pressed a few keys and smiled. "You'll be called shortly! Please take a seat."

Now just whimpering, Deidara was placed down and he ran immediately to the toys and the other children. Sasori followed sighing. He didn't pick up a magazine or take out his phone, he instead just watched Deidara play as he mentally prepared himself for what was to come next.

Looking as his wrist he could see the darkening pink scratches Deidara had marred on his pasty white flesh during the struggle to get here.

"Deidara?" A nurse called from the door leading to the doctors room. Sasori swallowed harshly. Finally, it was beginning.

The two of them sat quietly in the doctors office for only a couple minutes before the doctor walked in. She was a tall, curvy as hell, and pretty. Maybe in her mid-late thirties? Sasori didn't mind though, she was fiiine. Perhaps she was single?

"Hello my name Dr. Tsunade, I was told by Mr. Katsuya prior that Deidara here was getting a caretaker while he was away." She looked at her clip board and then at the boy that had quickly curled up on Sasori's lap in an attempt to hide. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

Quick and to the point eh? Sasori liked that in a woman. He also had a hunch she had dealt with enough kids to become to immune to Deidara's charms or weird antics. Hot.

She looked in his mouth and eyes, checked his blood pressure and reflexes. Nothing out of the ordinary was detected. Still Sasori had a question though.

"Why is he so small? I've seen his classmates and they're all so much taller... and bigger than he is."

Dr. Tsunade nodded at his words and got to checking his height and weight. "Without a doubt he's smaller than average, but that's nothing to be too concerned about." She sighed out noting some things on her chart. As she looked up though, she frowned.

Sasori caught the frown and looked down to where it was aimed. Yes, Deidara who was playing with a model of a brain instead of putting his rain boots back on. "R-really? He's six and not much bigger than a three year old!"

Rolling her eyes at him, she carried on her doctor duties. "The charts say he's more the size of a four year old. I'd say you're not far off but in the early years, age comes in milestones." She marked some things down on the chart and looked back at Deidara who had found peace with cramming the brain in his mouth.

Tsunade cringed at the thought of the bacteria from other kids touching it and it now being in his mouth but only sighed. "It might look weird when he's in school since his classmates are also older than him. Deidara is a very clever boy so he did start earlier than usual."

He gawked at her and shook his head at the smart comment. Sasori had yet to witness Deidara do anything intelligent. Did she not see the germ ridden brain crammed into his big mouth?

"So nothing is wrong? No concerns about his diet or anything?"

Tsunade blinked at the man slowly and reached foreword to yank the brain out of Deidara's mouth since the man obviously wasn't going to do it himself. She held the drool covered replica in front of Sasori. "You're not starving him are you?"

Sasori watched a stream of the drool ooze down the brain. "No! He just likes... to chew..."

"Then there is no problem." She then held up a chart showing his progressing growth. "I know Deidara is a good eater from past visits, and most of the time that has nothing to do with height. Some kids are big, some medium and some small. Deidara is small."

"So, he's not in any danger?"

She glanced at the chart and smirked at him "As long as he doesn't eat toys like, playdough and such, he'll be just fine. Food is the best thing for his diet."

Sasori's eyebrows shot upwards. "Oh. You know about that? He's fine now you know. Uh, no worries." Now he was really getting anxious.

"Of course." She leaned back in her chair and chuckled. "Now I know you love Deidara very much, but don't worry. It just shows us that he will be a short man just like you."

Short? That sounded harsh and Sasori was offended. Now he realized why Deidara wasn't too pleased to go to the doctor. This woman was ruuude.

"Or he will be short like his mother, but who knows for sure at this point. He could very well hit a growth spurt."

Getting onto the next point she got out a small plastic bag and put it to the side. "I need you to swaddle him while I give the the s-h-o-t. As you said, he's small so you should be able to handle him quite well, yes?"

Sasori glared. This woman's attitude was getting on his nerves. First calling him out on being short, now suggesting he is skilled at dealing with small things! She had better not be referring to what he thinks she's referring!

Grabbing Deidara, Sasori put him on his lap and got Bard as well as Birb out from the travel bag and placed them onto the boys lap. Deidara cooed at the toys and inhaled them before calming down. Not even the Doctor questioned the action.

In his coat pocket Sasori came prepared with candies and stickers to top off what the Doctor would give him. It would be best if the child could view injections as a good experience rather than a painful and scary one.

"Deidara, can I have a hug?"

Deidara looked up at the man as he stuffed Bard's leg into his mouth to chew on. He wiggled side to side and hummed as if he really needed to think about hugging his Danna. "You hafta say puh-lease, un!"

"Pleaaase!"

"Okay!" He threw his arms around his big friend and gave him a hug. Deidara didn't get many hugs from the redhead. Only when said guy would screw up or when Deidara did really really good would he get sweet delicious hugs. Any other time was a complete treat. This was a treat.

Getting the hug, Sasori hugged back tightly. The hug was tight, sweet and quick, but when Deidara let go Sasori grabbed back on. Like a snake. A sneaky snake. Deidara struggled in the grip. He couldn't move, he couldn't see what was going one but he could definitely feel something wet rubbing at his arm.

This made him panic.

As Deidara gasped to yell, Sasori started talking to him in a cheery voice. "Oh Deidara, your hugs are sooo nice! Hug, hug..." He sighed taking a breath of the cutesy talk. "Huuug!"

"B-but Danna! Ah-Ahun! Ouchieee!" He burst into tears as Sasori slowly let go and as Tsunade quickly applied a circle bandaid to the affected area. "Nooo! Don't let me gooo!" Deidara cried to Sasori not wanting him to stop hugging him is such a peril filled time.

Hugs make everything better, right? Sasori screwed up by taking him here, he needs restitution!

Sasori rolled his eyes and pushed Deidara's bum from his lap to the of his elbow and held on all the while having him face Tsunade so he could receive a treat.

"Here is your healing lollipop!" She said happily handing him an orange candy. "And since you did so good, you can pick two stickers of any kind you like." Now bringing out a large sheet of them.

"Can I have that one and that one?" He asked pointing out a swan and a shiny butterfly.

"Of course you can!" She cheered clapping her hands excitedly, continuing to act very differently than she had when talking with Sasori. Sticking one of them on the back of the boys hand and the other on his shirt he was more than pleased. That is until he remembers the pain in his arm.

"That ouchied! You tricked me Danna into coming here for prickles, un."

"Oh but Deidara he had too!" Tsunade spoke patting his head. "If Sasori here didn't bring you, you'd get sick!"

"Nuh-huh, I never get sick."

"What about that one time you got that stomach virus and wouldn't stop throwing up?"

Deidara looked away. "That wasn't fun.."

"Exactly! Your Daddy was so worried about you too!" She said in a overly sad voice. "Besides, we had to see how you're growing!"

"Am I growin, un?" He asked, sitting up and moving away from Sasori in an attempt to look for a chart or paper she might have.

She didn't though.

"...A little bit, but hey! Your hair sure has gotten long since I last saw you." She spoke dodging the question about growing since in reality he really wasn't as much as he should be.

Deidara giggled as he toyed with his hair proudly. "Un, it has gotten longer huh! Ain't it pretty?"

"So so sooo pretty. Right Sasori?"

"Oh yeah right!" Sasori jolted upwards when he realized he was being spoken to. "Yeah, so pretty." He repeated dreamily, toying with the blond locks which were indeed a sight to behold.

Deidara blinked and threw himself at the doctor, burying his face into her lap. "I think Tsunude is a pretty too, un."

"It's Tsunade. And thank you Deidara."

-x-

Hopping back into the car, Sasori helped Deidara buckle up in his carseat since he claimed he was in too much pain to do so. Which is ridiculous and sounded more like he just wanted the older male to dote of him. Yes, that sounds far more logical.

"Hey Deidara." Sasori asked, opening a little packet of fruit snacks.

Looking up from his birdies, the boy smiled. "Yes Danna" He replied, taking the little packet and stuffing a gummy into his mouth.

"Good job today."

"Thank you!"

As the drove along in perfect silence, it of course didn't last long. Sooner or later, Deidara belted out his personal songs about guts, needles and brains. That is until -

"What do you think this brain is made out of, un?"

"Huh?"

Glancing back in the rear view mirror, Sasori scowled as in Deidara's hands was the brain he had been chewing on in the doctors office. He must have snatched it back when he hugged the woman.

"Did you... Steal that from Dr. Tsunade?"

"No? I just took it back with us to the car, silly!"

Sasori sighed heavily and pulled into a upcoming parking lot, getting ready to do a u-turn. Guess it was back to the doctors office to return the stupid brain. He couldn't blame Deidara for taking it. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like if the kid actually had one.

sneaky..