Good news: I figured out what I wanted to do with this chapter! Bad news: I wasn't able to finish this arc in a single chapter, joy.

This chapter is kind of all over the place because I didn't know what to do with it, but it has its moments, hopefully you guys enjoy the interactions.

Thank you guys so much for all the faves, follows and reviews!

cloth slayer: I don't think I will have Gai and Kisame become rivals, Kakashi already has that role for Gai lol. There is also the fact that Kisame is a swordsman, so if anyone is going to be his rival, it would be Zabuza.

Pr1nc3ss K3nny: I never really understood the purpose of having Sai in the series when he was first introduced, besides being there to make Naruto uncomfortable. I think Kishimoto kinda bit off more than he could chew by creating so many characters, but then shelving them later on for the main characters. Hopefully I can do Sai some justice for the next couple chapters.

put-it-in-your-butt: Thanks for the compliment!

setokayba2n: Most likely after the kids are born. Got a lot on his plate to do first! :D

duchessliz:I have to agree with you. Lot's of characters are underdeveloped and underappreciated, but I also just don't have much care for Sai because of that. But he will appear from time to time just like everyone else. :D

AmirreaTheArtist: Deidara would not throw around memes or vines, cause I personally don't like either besides the sarcastic ones, so if he does say any, they are unintentional. He prefers references to other forms of pop cultures.

wyattharto8: Yamato will still be the captain and no Deidara will not be involved in the mission at all. This chapter will be for him to catch up on a couple of characters and give Sai some screen time. I'm glad you are excited, this chapter was pretty fun to write out! :)

CassieInTheDark: You got some more interactions in this chapter, hun!

Tawnypelt37: Thanks for letting this be your favorite! I really did never expect this fanfiction to get so much hype and I really do appreciate all of the support that you all give. :3

VenaHope: Just Team Seven will be facing Orochimaru and Sasuke is excluded in the mission because of the reason of keeping snakey-man away from him. He will awaken his mangekyou sharingan later in the fic and yes, he did invent Kirin. Deidara has yet to encounter Zetsu, so until he runs into Zetsu it will be hard to take care of him, and that guy will be avoiding Deidara like the bloody plague. Also… spoilers! But Deidara will DEFINITELY want to kill him, without a doubt. I can guarantee you that Zetsu will not have a beating heart (if he has one) by the end of this fic. Deidara will not be the one to bring back Minato and Hiruzen, he wants Naruto to converse with Minato when he is having Kyuubi problems and Hiruzen… poor guy is still recovering. Now on the subject of how much Deidara knows: If it happened in the manga, or is a filler that existed before Orochimaru's first death, then he knows. He knows about the manga/anime special where Sarada is having daddy problems and awakens her sharingan, he knows Boruto is a little shit head, and he knows about Mizuki. He knows who married who, what kids they had and what happened to the majority of characters during the beginning of the Boruto arc (like Anko getting really fat and Orochimaru looking really young). He does not know about the Otsutsuki, or Kawaki, or any of that stuff. Frankly, once the main series is over he is just going to be done with all that noise and most likely spam C4 on anyone that seems like a pain in the ass.

crazby: It is Naruto crossed over with another anime… I won't say what, the only hint I'm giving is that it is one of the animes listed on my profile. :P Also, I would not make a crossover series with Si!Dei and Itachi purely because I see it as an inconvenience for both myself and any new readers. The inside jokes would basically be me going "Don't understand? Too bad! Go read the original fanfic!" which is not my style. Also those two would fall into depression really fast, because it means that they would never see their loved ones again and who knows if they would find each other (I mean... they would, but it would take some time). I also would not be able to produce a reasonable explanation for any of the rebirths, like this one was purely because the Sage Of Six Paths was annoyed with the original timeline and also bored. It's a cool idea, but would not work with my style.

Apperatus: Welcome to the fic! Please buckle in your seatbelt because you entered a rollercoaster that has not had maintenance and has no regards for your safety and well-being. :D

Bunnyguest: Naruto was bound to find out anyway, and now Tobi is high on Naruto's ass kicking list.

Ghost: Definitely subs with some exceptions here and there like Hinata's voice and Kabuto sounds more smug in the dub. I'm not a fan of Madara's voice… it doesn't give the impression of power and ego, not deep enough tbh. I like Orochimaru too, so don't worry. And Itachi and Sebastian? Hm… Nah, can't hear it.

Yurei Hanatsuki: The ex-ROOT members do get an explanation in this chapter! I didn't see much reason to turn it into a side story when it fits the narrative. (Side-stories are usually the comical stuff anyway) Also I will be doing the Mito, Madara and Hashirama side story pretty soon, I have a side-story that I will be posting during the Sora arc that needs to appear first. (Plus I need something to keep me sane during that arc… God I hate Sora)

Dkskc: Not even close hun… not even close, I have never even had Ino interact with Gaara and I never will. I don't even have any plans for Gaara to get with anyone, maybe Matsuri. Maybe.

Ringo1327: Oh trust me, that little asshole so much as put a scratch on Naruto and he's dust, literally.

Triazatriborinane: Never seen that video, now I'm curious.

ladybug002: Thanks! :3

Momoshinju:Thanks for the compliment! I don't have much intention on reainmating any of those three. I have explained on multiple occasions that I will not be reanimated Minato, but Mito and Kushina are some other reasons. Deidara is not going to be messing with the Shinigami anymore, so Kushina will not be reanimated by him. And Mito is someone that I'm gonna be honest, I forget she exists half the time and I have no idea what they did with her body after she died. So Deidara would be unable to find DNA of her. Interesting idea though. ^^

"Blah" - Kurama talking (I know, been a while huh?)

Warning: Mentions of suicides, this is an important one to keep in mind because I am aware that this is a very serious topic and I do not want anyone taking light on the subject. Besides that it has the usual, swearing, violence, Anko, perverted talk (thanks Anko), yaoi, references.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any other franchises that I mention in this chapter like Yugioh.

I pour the boy in front of me a cup of tea as he calmly observes my home. He would occasionally stare at the family photo of me, Naruto, and Kimimaro that I had us take several years ago. It's easier to speak with him privately than risk someone listening in on our conversation, I still have the majority of the village banned from the compound.

Lacing my fingers together, I rest my chin on them, "So Sai, tell me how life has been the past 3 years. You seem to know about me and how I killed Danzo, un." I watch the pale boy drink some of his tea before sighing. I know that sound anywhere.

"Well…"

Flashback-no-jutsu

3rd person POV

(AN: Because Sai's name was given to him he will be referred to as "The Boy" until he is given his name.)

"Danzo-sama is dead!" Was the first thing The Boy heard that fated day. Everyone in ROOT handled it calmly, as due to their training. Some of the more loyal ones swore that they would avenge Danzo, while the rest were mute on the subject.

Before actions could be made, Hiruzen stepped into the room with several of his personal ANBU guards, "Danzo is indeed dead... executed to be precise, for the order of the unauthorized genocide of an entire clan… along with various other reasons. At the request of Deidara, the one that executed him, we will be removing the seals on your tongues and reintroducing you all as proper shinobi of Konoha, or not. You are now free from him."

Everyone stood there in shock. Free? They were actually free? The Boy stood there in the mess of ROOT members, barely able to see in front of him because of his small frame. Suddenly, there was yelling. The Boy crawled through several pairs of legs to see a few ROOT members fighting some ANBU. Within seconds all of the ROOT members laid dead, another seal on these specific members had triggered a reaction of rage even if they were trained to be emotionless.

Hiruzen sighs, "We will discuss everything to each of you. Please follow these men and we will work on the seals. I request an audience with a boy in your rank, he is pale with black hair and uses ink to fight." At first, no one moved, then slowly The Boy was pushed to the front to Hiruzen. The members of ROOT were trained to obey not only Danzo, but also whoever was the Hokage at the time as that was their leader's goal.

The Hokage smiled, "Come with me please." The Boy wordlessly obeyed the request as his comrades were taken away, "Deidara specifically mentioned you."

That caught The Boy's attention, "May I ask why that is the case?" Every ROOT member is a blank slate, no one knows about them except for Danzo. So the idea that this Deidara person knew about him was almost impossible, unless outside information leaked out.

The old man enters the Hokage longue area and serves The Boy some tea, "We can talk here. Deidara, to be blunt at his request, knows about a future that he is changing. Apparently you had a role in it, and he developed emotional attachment to your existence… you are the one he specifically wanted to make sure was alive."

If The Boy could feel emotions, he would be shocked, no one besides Shin ever cared about his existence. But… there is a stranger that somehow knows not only the future, but also his role in it. It peaked his interest that's for sure.

"We will have your seal removed and you will be moved into the same apartment complex as Deidara. Whatever you do after that is your choice. Do you have any requests in the matter, Sai?" Hiruzen didn't even realize the slip of the tongue.

"Sai?" The Boy thought for a moment, he liked that name. It seem to fit him and he doesn't know why. Looking at the ceiling, he began to think. He didn't want to meet Deidara yet… but he did come up with an idea, "Yes…"

Flashback ends

Deidara's POV

"You want to be on the same squad as me when I become a captain, un…" I cross my arms at the idea, having Sai would be useful considering his abilities are only limited to the amount of ink he carries, not to mention he has been an ANBU longer. But something caught my attention, "I haven't encountered many former ROOT members, what happened to them?"

Sai pauses, then lowers his head to look at his tea, "When the seals were being removed… at least a third of the members… Danzo-sama's most loyal men… killed themselves fearing interrogation after the seals were removed."

The weight of the situation crashed into me like a bullet train. By killing Danzo early on I may have influenced dozens to commit suicide out of loyalty towards him. I understand that it may have happened off-screen in the anime after Sasuke kills him, but the idea that I caused this… it's horrible…

I guess I'm no better than the people I'm trying to kill.

"I'm so sorry… I'm so… so sorry…" After all these years, I came to the acceptance that I would have to kill in order to survive, I am aware of the fact that I am taking lives. But now it's laid out to me that people ended their lives because of my actions.

Sai smiles softly, understanding my inner turmoil at the sound of my voice breaking, "You did it to protect those you loved, correct?" When I nod he continues, "Then it was not your fault, you did not hand them the blades and they would have killed themselves even if someone else had killed Danzo-sama. The rest have either retired the shinobi life or changed their identity and moved on. I believe there is a certain tea shop you eat at with Anko, whose owner got married a few months after Danzo-sama's death… please believe me when I say that you did more good than harm, Deidara-san." He walks over to me to pat my shoulder, most likely in hopes of calming down my worry.

I nod while my brain slowly began to pull my subconscious back into the present world. It's too late to undo anything, and like Sai said, they would have reacted the same no matter when I decided to kill Danzo. That bastard needed to die anyway in order for Itachi to come home.

"To change subjects, what is the point of having only a chunk of your hair in a ponytail?" As if to prove his point, he holds the hair I have tied up and proceeds to bounce it in his hand like a water balloon.

I whack his hand away, "Oi oi oi, hands off the merchandise! The shinobi life controls literally everything about me physically besides my hair, so I take enjoyment in keeping my hair long and partially up, un." I wanted to punch that amused expression on his face, "Go talk to your new teammates."

Sai laughs and heads out, I have to admit, it's nice seeing him more lively and full of emotions. Once I was certain he was gone, I slip on a dark blue yukata and grabbed my wallet. If I'm gonna talk to Sasori, I need to make sure he can't kill me on contact.

With team 7

3rd person POV

"Man, with Kakashi-sensei in the hospital, how are we going to go to the Land of Grass, dattebayo?" Naruto rests his arms against the back his head as he walked with Shikamaru and Choji. The duo had just gotten back from a mission and were heading the same direction as Naruto.

"Honestly, I don't see the point in going. It's obvious Deidara knows about it and it'll be troublesome if that turns out to be a trap." Shikamaru tries to be the voice of reason… but then remembered who he was talking to and quickly gave up. Too much effort anyway.

Choji talked through a mouthful of chips, "Shikamaru's right. Sasuke is safe in the village, going out there with him near that snake guy is like giving me a plate of barbecue meat."

Both spiky haired individuals halt their walking to stare at the Akimichi with sweat drops. As odd as the simile was… it fits the situation at hand.

Naruto shakes his head to break his daze, "Gaaahhhh, don't say weird stuff like that... WHAT THE?!" Naruto was promptly thrown to the ground as Choji pushed him to avoid a black and white 2D Chinese lion charging headfirst at them.

"Wow, good reflex! But these are faster." Sai smirked as he draws multiple birds while also dodging Shika's shadows.

Naruto, losing his temper, summons a clone to help him make a rasengan, "Take this!" But Sai merely ducks.

"You… are really weak. We'll meet soon, Naruto." The boy poofs away in a cloud of smoke.

Naruto groans, "Great… Deidara-nii is involved."

Choji looks at Naruto in confusion, "What do you mean?"

The blond slumps, "Everytime I meet someone that's new, weird, and in Konoha, they know my brother, dattebayo."

'You're one to talk Naruto…' The duo thought in unison as they parted ways with Naruto, seeing Sakura and Sasuke in the distance.

"Hey guys, I met this really weird guy on the way here that attacked me. He looked like if Sasuke got his hair flattened and never went outside- THERE HE IS!" Naruto points at Sai, who was blocked by Sasuke's figure. The blond was then promptly smacked on the head by Sakura.

"Don't be rude, Naruto. This is Sai. He's temporarily replacing Sasuke-kun while we go to the Land of Grass." Sakura turns on her heel, hands behind her back and smiles at Sai, "Let's all get along, don't attack your teammates, okay?" She chose to ignore Sasuke's amused snort as he poked Naruto with his foot. Took a few seconds for the blond to get up.

Sai ponders this for a moment, and decides to test Sakura's temper, "I'll keep that advice in mind… ugly." The world seemed to have stopped for a moment as Naruto stares at Sai in fear… while Sasuke was slowly creating chidori in his hand, only to stop when the girl snaps.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?! Who are you calling ugly?!" Sakura tries to punch Sai in the face when Sasuke hooks his arm around her waist and throws her over his shoulder, "Wha? Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke sat Sakura down a few feet away, "Ignore him Sakura, he's just trying to get a reaction out of you. You're a beautiful young woman, anyone with eyes can see that." Realizing what he said, Sasuke looks away somewhat blushing while Sakura's face glows with a lovely shade of red that complimented her hair.

"Alright you four, settle down. Sasuke, your brother wants to talk to you." Everyone turns to see Yamato walking towards them.

Naruto's face brightens up, "Ah! Tenzo-san!" He waves frantically as Yamato sighs at his old name.

"I'm Captain Yamato now, Naruto. But it is good to see you too." Of course, everyone was lost as to how Naruto knew who Yamato was.

"You know him, Naruto?" Sakura observes Yamato like a kid does an animal at the zoo. When she heard someone was replacing Kakashi, she didn't expect someone that Naruto already knew.

Naruto nods, "Yeah! He's the one that made the apartments Kimi-nii and I live in! He can use the Shodai Hokage's jutsu, wood style, dattebayo!" Now everyone was staring at Yamato as the poor man became shy at the sudden attention and the incoming praises that soon left their lips. He wasn't use to this kind of attention... at all.

"Now now, it's no big deal. Come on, we need to speak with Tsunade-sama and get our mission." Yamato shoos away the miffed Uchiha and leads the other three to the Hokage's office. Sasuke turned his nose into the air and went to go find Itachi… But not before walking into a pole that was literal feets away from him.

Back with Deidara

Deidara's POV

'Who would have thought walking around Konoha with a giant teddy bear would gather so much attention?' My annoyance level kept increasing as people continued to stare at me. Granted, I am carrying a stuffed animal the size of my own body, but I'm married and expecting kids, you'd think people would mind their own business.

Reaching the compound, I enter my house and kick off my shoes. Itachi was there talking to Sasuke, he took one look at me and the bear, then grabbed Sasuke to leave the house for a while.

"Smart man." I smirk in amusement as I sat the bear down and pulled out the scroll containing Sasori. Unsealing it, I toss the puppet body aside, rip open the bear's chest and shove the heart inside it, "Please work, un."

The bear stayed motionless for a long time, until it shifted and finally spoke, "Deidara… you have 3 seconds to explain why I am a stuffed animal." The bear attempted to cross its arms… but the stubs for arms made that a little difficult.

I swallow a laugh that I know is about to escape me, "I didn't want to risk you attacking me, so I put you in the body of the second biggest stuffed animal I could find, un." Yes, I said second biggest. There should be a law against how big you are allowed to make stuffed rabbits when it's not Easter… and this world doesn't even celebrate Easter!

I let a snort escape me as Sasori began tapping his foot impatiently, which in all honesty just looks like he's stomping the ground. Sasori was… obviously not amused, "Do you plan on explaining to me why you stopped Chiyo-baasan from killing me?" Right down to business it seems. I cautiously make sure he cannot go near his real body as I motion to a couch… okay, having a stuffed sentiant bear is both amusing and horrifying, he can't even blink with those button eye- crap I got button eyes. The creep factor just increased dramatically.

"Well Sasori-no-Danna… you see…"

One rambling session later

"Seriously, what the fuck is with you Akatsuki members and either commiting suicide or sacrificing yourself for every damn fight?! You, Kisame, Itachi, me, Pein, Tobi, Konan. I swear, the only ones that truly die for selfish reasons were Hidan and Kakuzu! Which, by the way I plan on killing those two myself, un." I pant trying to catch my breath after spending a good hour talking non-stop. How Daiki is able to keep this up I will never know, the boy must have lungs of steel.

Because Sasori is controlling a bear, I can't tell if he's shocked or not. The only physical indication I'm getting is the bear's head is tilted, "Are you this open with people about who you are, or should I be concerned for your mental state?" Cheeky bastard.

I run a hand through my hair to regain my composure, "Only to those whose fates I'm changing, un." I let out a nervous laugh as Sasori began to think.

"Hm… It's either I remain alive… or become the pawn of that traitor Kabuto… Perhaps this will be the better option. What are your plans for me?" Thank Kamis Sasori is willing to listen. I would rather not kill one of my favorite Akatsuki members.

"Gaara's willing to work with you back in Suna. You can keep your puppet body and continue making your human puppets, provided the person was suppose to die in the first place, un. What do you say?"

Sasori slowly got up and threw his heart towards his real body. As if on autopilot, it lands perfectly into the hole on his chest and the redheads stands, checking his joints. My ego perks at the realization that there is someone actually shorter than me for once.

"It would be more beneficial for me to follow that idea. I don't have a reason to go back to the Akatsuki if I have to deal with that idiot Tobi. You brats are quick to forgive though." Sasori muses the idea as he checked his weapons, pleased that I haven't taken the time to clean his weapons of the poison, much to my nervousness.

"Everyone deserves a chance at redemption… with some exceptions, un." That last bit ended with a grumble of annoyance.

"You mean Hidan and Kakuzu?" Sasori blinks as I had him a coat, similar to the Akatsuki but it was just plain black.

I chirp out a "Nope!" then create a bird, "Gaara-kun knows you are on your way. Please don't make me regret this, un." It's pathetic of me to plea my case, but it was worth a shot.

"No promises brat." Sasori hops on the bird, "... This is rather good craftsmanship. Pity it's not eternal."

I snort, "Eternal? Fuck no! Art is a fleeting moment gone at the blink of an eye! An explosion, un!" I give him a smug grin, I haven't had to give the whole "art is an explosion" spiel in a long time.

Much to my amusement, Sasori gives me a blank look, "Next time we meet, you and I need to sit down and reteach you real art." I have the bird take off and fly towards Suna.

"Good luck with that Danna!" I return inside, "Crap… what am I going to do with a giant bear? Ugh… it's creepy… Maybe Duck-kun can make something out of it, un."

A few days later

"Now are you all sure you have everything, un?" Itachi, Kimimaro and I were all at the gate to see the new team 7 off, I of course was becoming a mother hen. Sasuke was… he was somewhere sulking, a quick brush of the ground allows me to find Sasuke hiding on the roof of a nearby shop.

"Gah! Don't worry about us Deidara-nii, we have everything and we're gonna kick Orochimaru's ass, dattebayo!" Naruto flashes me his iconic thumbs up, as if that would reassure me. Considering the fact that Orochimaru will become more desperate to get Sasuke as time goes does not help with my blood pressure.

I flash a glare at Yamato, "Anything happens to my chibis, it's on YOUR head Yamato. Got it?" The poor ANBU captain began shrinking into his jonin jacket as I allowed all of my kill intent to focus solely onto him like a tsunami wave.

Sensing my desire for blood, Itachi diverted my attention by planting a gentle kiss on my lips, "Please do not antagonize Yamato-san, Dei… they will be fine." Keeping my eye on him, he keeps a hold of my chin until I relax long enough for the team to leave, not without hearing Sai make a comment on my protectiveness which causes Naruto to chase him, "Don't you plan on meeting Ino and Karin for lunch? You don't want to be late. I'll be on a mission so sleep at Anko's." He pokes my forehead before leaving.

"I have a mission too Nii-sama. I'll see you when I get back." My brother hugs me before also leaving.

At the restaurant, the girls wave me over, which I happily plop into my chair, "Ladies~" I try to appear flirtatious by flipping my hair… but all that got me was hair in my mouth and the girls dying of laughter as I began blowing raspberries in an attempt to remove it.

"Deidara-san, you're married, no flirting with girls allowed." Karin wiggles her finger in a mocking tsk tsk motion, it's all fun and games with these two.

Ino hasn't changed much in her shippuden looks and I am not going to influence her at all, not my kid, not my problem. Karin has allowed her hair to be tied into a ponytail that spikes outward and instead of lavender, her shirt was mint green to compliment her hair. A plus to her new look is that her booty short covered more than just her damn booty, thank Kami.

I stick out my tongue in amusement, "Gotta practice for the husband, you understand how it is girls, un." If someone in my past life had told me I would one day find myself having lunch and joking with Ino and Karin, I would have called an insane asylum. But here I am, joking with two girls that I grew up hating with an passion and now absolutely adore.

Ino quickly grab my chopsticks and using it to grab my tongue, "Come on, we have news for you."

I tilt my head, my tongue still being held captive by the Yamanaka girl. I'm half tempted to use my palm mouths to drool and get her to release the organ, but I didn't want to make a mess, "Whaf?" Ino thankfully releases my tongue.

Karin grins, "I'm shadowing team Asuma and working as a substitute jounin instructor for genin teams." Oh yeah, did I mention that Karin is a jounin now?

"Asuma-sensei says that within a year she'll be running her own genin team at the rate she's going." Ino claps in delight at the thought of her friend jumping the ranks, "Her medical ninjutsu, sensing abilities and overall sense of strategy is helping her go through the process faster than anticipated."

I smirk, "Nice work Karin. Not the news I was expecting, but I'm proud for you nonetheless."

Now the girls were confused, Karin spoke, "What news were you expecting?" She had every right to feel suspicious, after witnessing me reanimating the Hokages would definitely make her cautious of my life plans.

"Oh, nothing~" We then order our food and proceed with lunch with light conversations.

That evening

"If you used your planning abilities for evil, you would have had the world at the palm of your hands by now." Anko says through her… peanut butter covered dango sprinkled with chopped apples… don't ask me. She's pregnant. At least peanut butter and apples are good for her.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, un." I cross my legs on her couch so when she lays down, her feet land on my thigh. Once she wiggled her toes, I began to massage her feet expertly.

Anko groans happily, "Itachi is a lucky man." I guess her feet have really been killing her. And she's only… what? 3 months along? 4 months?

"Actually Itachi won't even let me touch his feet. Something about him not wanting me to kiss his feet, un." To remind Anko of my extra features I give her foot a playful nip from my hand mouth.

Anko wiggles her finger in a circular motion in the air, "Right, it would almost seem like the ultimate submission. Which is weird, I have never seen a single bruise on Itachi." And here comes the perverted conversation.

"That's because I leave my mark in places he can hide easily, makes it more of a shock value when others find out, un."

Anko hums to herself as I continued to massage her feet, "I wonder if anyone noticed how thorough you are in marking Itachi."

With Itachi

3rd person POV

"Neh… Itachi-san? I don't mean to pry into your personal life… but what do you and Deidara do that would result in bitemarks THERE?" Kisame watches in amazement as Itachi looks down at himself. The two had stopped at a hotspring for the night and decided to enjoy the waters. It was kinda hard for the swordsman to not notice the marks when Itachi is so pale and they are EVERYWHERE. (AN:Feel free to make this as perverted as you want guys. It can be as innocent as love bites trailing down his spine, or bite marks in… peculiar areas. :P)

"Huh… I would have thought they would be gone by now." Itachi only noted the marks with mild interest before sinking back into the waters, "Deidara allows his hands to remind me that I married a man with 4 mouths. One that loves my lips, one that is sewn shut and the other two act like they have minds of their own."

Kisame scoots away, "You know a simple 'hn' would have sufficed, right?"

"Hn."

This lead to the sharkman sighing, "I should have kept my mouth shut."

Every other guy at the hot springs is either creeped out by the idea of someone with 4 mouths, or really jealous of the Uchiha's sex life.

Back at the sleepover

Deidara's POV

"It'll happen eventually. I made them extra dark this time around, un."

"Ooh la la, Dei-chan getting possessive?" I chuck a pillow at Anko's head as she laughed, "Definitely possessive."

"Oh hush." I roll my eye as I move to give her a shoulder massage. Thankfully, that did the trick in shutting her up. For a moment.

"Hey Dei-chan, I'm getting an ultrasound scan soon, do you want me to tell you the genders of the twins afterwards?" Anko would look at me, but her body was too relaxed.

I pause for a moment, "Nah, I want it to be a surprise. We already have names picked out. If the twins are the same gender then Itachi will name the first born. If the twins are different gender then he will name the son, un." He had a better name idea for a son anyway, so I don't mind as long as I get to name the daughter.

"Plan on telling me what the names ar- ahhh…. Right there…" I hit a spot that had a nasty knot on it.

"Nope!"

Several days later at Tenchi Bridge

3rd person POV

"I hope this works…" Sakura watches with anxiety as Yamato disguised as Sasori spoke with Kabuto, so far it seemed to be working, "We should have had Deidara-sensei come with us…"

Naruto shakes his head, "No way. If Deidara-nii came with us then if it is a trap then he would be in danger." The same could be said for Sasuke, no matter how strong he was. Until he was trained by Itachi on how to properly work his sharingan, Orochimaru could overpower him at this time.

Sai gave the duo a knowing smile, "Oh trust me, if Deidara-san was here he would be just fine. After all, he was able to kill Da-" He was cut short when Orochimaru appeared on the bridge besides Kabuto, "Oh? So it was a trap."

Naruto glares at Sai, "No kidding it was a trap, come on, dattebayo!" The trio leap onto the bridge as Yamato's disguise was destroyed.

Orochimaru couldn't contain his disappointment, "So, Sasuke-kun is not here. Such a pity." Of course this struck a nerve in Sakura and Naruto.

"Sasuke doesn't want anything to do with you freaks!" Naruto's back went rigid as Kuruma began poking at weaknesses in the seal.

Orochimaru chuckles, "He does not know any better, had I had successfully given him the curse mark all those years ago, he would be my student. My next vessel." His smirk grew as Naruto's eyes became red, "Had things been different… you would be here trying to get him back, and Deidara would be dead long before you even brought Sasuke-kun home… In fact, I'd even say he would be your enemy."

Inside Naruto, Kurama let out a throaty chuckle, "Well... the snake knows how to hit the kid's anger… and mine as well." Finding a weak point in Minato's seal, he seeps out chakra onto Naruto, "Make this entertaining. I want to know how much of the truth he knows."

While Naruto was hearing only Kurama's voice, everyone else was watching as his body became cloaked in red chakra.

Side story # 10 Neji and Kimimaro (About a month after Anko became pregnant)

Deidara's POV

"Nii-sama… can I talk with you about something private?" Kimimaro was fidgeting where he stood as I look up at him from washing dishes. Odd, he usually is really open and honest with me without asking for my permission.

"Sure honey, what's up?" I dry off my hands with a towel then motion for him to sit on the couch. Flopping in a chair, I relax myself as Kimimaro remained as stiff as ever, "Sweetie, you're going to give yourself back problems if you keep being that stiff, un."

That didn't stop Kimimaro from being tense, instead he gulped, "You and… Itachi are married right? And it's working out?" I nod, which makes him fidget even more, "So… two guys… can be together… and it would be okay?"

I roll my eye, "Yes. No one is having any issues with our relationship, why do you ask, un?" He really was acting weird, I hope he's not sick.

My brother began shrinking in his seat, obviously giving himself a mental pep talk, "I… well to be forward… um… Neji and I are dating!" Awww honey… the boy is shaking where he's sitting. I need to handle this situation with grace and all the gentle natures that comes with being an older brother.

"Wait… you two were not dating up until now?" I did say as a big brother, not as a mother. But it got Kimimaro to relax in his seat, "Neji's liked you since your guys first chunin exams, un."

Kimi sighs, "Yes… he told me, but I was the one that suggested we tried dating… and we are going to have our first date tomorrow." He quickly noticed me straightening up, "We are going outside the village to a tea house I saw on a mission one time. Please Nii-sama… do not interfere with it."

I salute him with a grin, "Don't worry. I won't be anywhere near you two, un."

The next day

"Um… Deidara-san… why are we spying on Neji-niisan and Kimimaro-san?" Yep, I dragged Hinata into this.

"Because they are in Kumogakure territory so we are acting as guards… also don't you want to see your cousin enjoy his first date, un?" Her silence confirmed that she was also interested in how the date would go.

So far it's just been the two talking. I could tell that they were just talking about random stuff plus rules about marrying into the Hyuga clan… Oh right… I need to talk with the clan sometime when Naruto is ready to ask for Hinata's hand.

"Deidara-san, there are some Kumo shinobi heading their way…" I shift my focus onto an 4 man squad of Kumo ANBU heading for the tea house, "They mentioned something about the byakugan and the Kaguya clan…"

I straighten my back and shove my hands into my clay pouch, "Oh hell no. They are not interrupting my baby's first date. Come on Hinata, un." We meet the shinobi before they got within hearing range of the tea house, "Hinata, you take one I got the other three."

They must have thought this was a funny sight, until they noticed Hinata's byakugan and were instantly interested in her, and her exposed forehead.

"What's a Hyuga from the main house doing out here all alone?" The leader jeers with amusement as they began to ignore me.

While they were distracted, I dropped blood onto the three creatures I created… and holy shit were they cute.

I made Obelisk the Tormentor, The Sky Dragon of Osiris*, and The Winged Dragon of Ra… in chibi form… they reached my knees except for Osiris, he was as long as my body. Obelisk and Osiris stayed still as Ra began to waddle to one of the shinobi.

I clear my throat, "Ahem… Excuse me gentlemen, but the young lady is being escorted by me, un." Of course my speech impediment coupled with the trio of chibi monsters only made then laugh.

Ra settled down in front of one of them, his little chest kept puffing out like he has the hiccups. I was trying to appear manly and not have a squee fest… vocally, but I can already feel my eye increase in size by at least double.

"What the hell is this chicken-" The shinobi never got to finish his sentence when Ra opened its mouth and shot a stream of golden flames that instantly turned the man into ashes. Everyone froze where they stood as the tiny creature let out a small burp of smoke then smacked his beak a few times.

"That's Mega Ultra Chicken* for you. Time to play kiddies!" At an instant, Osiris launches at another shinobi and was more or less going burmese python on the guy while Obelisk used God Hand Crusher- pfffffff he says it and sounds like a chipmunk. This was the most adorable and the most terrifying thing I have ever witnessed, "Need help Hinata? I'm kinda enjoying the show right here."

"I have my opponent handled Deidara-san, please relax and enjoy yourself!" Hinata proceeds to use 64 palm on the leader of the team, blocking his chakra points. Ra decided to help in the matter and burn the guy once Hinata was safely out of the way. All four Kumo shinobi were dead within seconds, and I simply turned the figures into sculptures, squish them, and returned the clay into my pouch.

We resume our hiding spot to watch the boys continue their date. They didn't seem aware of what just happened, and we had to contain our squeals when Kimimaro leaned in and kissed Neji on the cheek. Turns out they both liked the feeling, so Neji returned the gesture, and then they shared a quick peck on the lips.

My voice was little more than a squealing mumble, "Oh Kami these two are adorable, I cannot wait for when you and Naruto have your first date Hinata, un."

Hinata looks at me, obviously only half hearing me, "Wha… what?"

I chuckle, "Nothing, nothing."

That evening

I met Kimimaro at his and Naruto's apartment as he returned to Konoha, "How was your date?" He remained quiet for a moment, and for a second I thought he would be mad. But color me surprised when he hugged me.

"Thank you for keeping those shinobi away… Neji watched the fight… Thank you… for being there for us."

I return the hug, holding my brother close, "That's what big brothers are for. Don't worry, I spoke with Hiashi ahead of time, he approves, un." Not like he had any reason to argue, Neji was under his custody, but he was a branch member and so it was not vital for him to marry a woman.

Meanwhile at the Hyuga estate, Hinata is receiving just as much love from her favorite cousin.

I wanted to finish the arc in one chapter… but things never go my way, also I really did not want to make a 10k+ chapter again, no thank you. So next chapter will contain the actual fighting, and oooooooh anyone paying attention to the stuff Orochimaru was saying? I wonder just how much he knows and how he knows everything.

The side-story was a combination of me wanting to make sure Neji and Kimimaro's relationship was permanently set in stone, and Ringo1327 mentioning Yugioh, so the show makes a nice little cameo in this one.

* Slifer the Sky Dragon is not his original name. Osiris is the original name of the card and since I prefer the Japanese version of the anime, I'm going with that. Apparently Slifer is the name of an employee during the anime's dubbing and they chose to give the red dragon that name. which is honestly a really stupid thing on 4Kids part. They gave a dragon that is suppose to represent a culture that existed 3000 years ago, the name of a dude born in the 1950s. If you can't tell, I am not a happy camper.

* Any Yugioh abridged series fans out there? :)

Next chapter will have everyone fighting Orochimaru and the rest… I dunno. Like I said, I'm kinda lost on what to do with this arc since it's short and I had it split into two chapters. I'll talk with my beta on the subject.

As always, reviews are loved and I will see you guys next week!

Bye!