Chapter Thirty-Five:

"Do you consider me a good person Jane?" Edward jested. Even though he was talking in his usual serious tone, I could tell he was kidding around as he had his sly smirk on his face. This humour filled banter between us was starting to feel so natural.

"I thought we just agreed that putting people on a pedestal was a bad thing?" I joked back. I then tried to remember exactly what my point was in our discussion before Edward had side-tracked me. But I couldn't recall. "I think we are just going round and round with our conversation here. Did we end up agreeing on this topic?" I asked.

I watched as my companion shrugged and then leant a little closer on the couch we were both sitting on. He had a glint in his eye that told me he was going to try some more of his terrible wisecracks on me. I wasn't wrong. "How about that Jane's sense of logic and ethics are always impeccable?" he crooned at me.

I playfully nudged him, impressed at the new level of crudeness he could reach with his witty remarks. It did remind me of what he had said that morning. "…I know Jane well enough to think that her morals are one of her main qualities… She quietly changes the world around her to become a better version of itself…" Those remarks now felt a little nonsensical and almost …sanctimonious after we watched an episode explaining how beloved humanitarians were human as well with faults and weaknesses. Resolving this idealistic perception that Edward seemed to have of me wouldn't be helpful in our new… friendship. I took a deep breath and decided to address it now.

"You know how you said earlier that I made the world better? I think you believe in me a little too highly. I don't want Penn and Teller to make a show about me now!" I said laughing. I think I then made a comment that I couldn't see me working in some far off place, helping orphans and the poor or something. (I know. Ironic that I said that eh?)

Somehow this topic surged Edward's fiery disposition. I observed that his eyebrows were knitted together and his jaw was clenched. 'Why would this matter anger him? We discussed far more emotional topics tonight and nothing had fazed him… Until now,' I questioned to myself. Somehow I had hit a nerve, but I couldn't figure out why.

"Let me tell you something Jane; I have seen enough of the world to know that it is unfair… and it is painful. You... You are… When I give you a compliment, I am not exaggerating or trying to cajole you." His whole being was screaming for me to believe him and his sincerity.

This response confused me; words and tone in equal parts. I decided to try to placate him and bring a bit of positivity to the subject. "I get that Edward. But aren't a lot of people working towards making the world a better place?" I asked smiling.

I watched as my companion leant back into the couch, stretching out to his full height. He brought his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. Even though he appeared calmer, I could sense the intensity of his feelings about our discussion. "In my experience, no. I'm certainly not. I'm out to get as many rewards and comforts out of it as possible. If that makes the world around me worse, I won't care."

I let his words hang in the air between us. I knew he was a little selfish, but this was almost… malicious. Sure, I had met people who were vicious – but I figured they had a good reason for their behaviour. And to be honest, they weren't the most intelligent of people. But Edward wasn't like that. He was an intellectual. So why was he talking as if he was… nasty all of a sudden? I thought of a way to word an inquiry that couldn't be seen as hostile. "Aren't you worried about what others will think about you?" was the question I settled on.

Even though Edward didn't appear to be affected, I knew the question had an impact on him. His muscles had become tighter and he had a notably stressed infliction in his voice. "Jane, I was told I had to put my family reputation before anything else while I was still in elementary school. I have put my father's expectations before my own wishes for God know how long. I finally have the estate making money and have Alex to take care of the stupid Hollywood requests that come my way. I intend to reap back what I am owed for many years of injustice, with interest." If that wasn't alarming, his last statement was. "I plan on taking whatever satisfaction I can find, and damn whoever tries to stop me."

I couldn't sit there and say nothing. If I was his friend, I had a duty to let him know that I thought he was wrong. I took a minute or two before replying though, knowing that I could easily cause a huge fight if I didn't word it appropriately. "…I don't think that will make you happy. Chasing one thing after another… sounds like an obsession. Or an addiction. People who do that just end up emptier than before. Needy. Like you have a hunger you won't ever be able to fill." I checked to see if my ponderings had any effect but Edward hadn't moved. I took that as a good sign and continued. "I believe that we have to find our own happiness inside of us. Finding it any other way is only a brief distraction and could make us even more depressed than when we started."

That got a reaction. Edward moved as if he was a large cat, surprising me how quickly he sat up and ended up almost surrounding me as he had moved right next to me, bending forward so that our faces were almost touching. The speed of his movements frightened me a little, as well as the tension that I picked up in his voice when he next spoke. "But what if I found love Jane?" he said in an almost whisper. "What if it was the most genuine love that two people could have?" I couldn't help but stare into his brown eyes and feel a little lost in them. I sensed longing in them and I felt like I should attempt to sooth the pain I saw there. I knew the truth would be a more sharp, but worthwhile balm.

"You are still depending on another person to make you happy," I offered as a solution. "It would be doomed to fail. There's a saying that, 'You have to love yourself before you can love another person'. I think that's true. Nobody wants to have a passionate romance without a sturdy foundation, do they? That's what Romeo and Juliet had – and they both die in the end."

Thankfully, Edward found this answer satisfactory. And even funny. He laughed and the air of electricity around us quietened. He leant back into the sofa, grinning stupidly at me. "You are truly angelic at times. It is the only explanation for you being so wise, when you are so inexperienced and unknowing of the world around you." It was idiotic that I was giving relationship advice when I had never even had a courtship last longer than a fortnight, but couldn't help but offer what logic I knew worked. In fact, advice just bursts out of my mouth whether I wanted it to or not at times. I am well aware of the fact that TAKING advice, my own or others, is nothing fact entirely diary.

At any case, I couldn't help smiling back. "I thought we just talked about putting people on pedestals! Stop flattering me!" I said while throwing cushions at him. He dodged him, and then quickly reached forward until he was holding my arms so I couldn't throw anymore. With the way he was holding them, I couldn't help but look at him. He wasn't smiling so much as musing so much now. He didn't let go and I didn't know what to say to break the silence between us.

Edward did though. "I don't think I'm exaggerating any of your natural goodness Jane," he said in a breathless tone, breaking the quiet between us. "I knew you would be my guardian angel the moment I saw you flustered in the middle of that storm. I knew I had to keep you by my side." I didn't want to look into his face, his eyes again. To see the longing. To see… whatever was there. I decided to pull away and cover my awkwardness with a friendly jest.

"I think that's called 'holding someone against their will' Edward," I said while pulling my arms away from him. "Maybe even false imprisonment. And I'm pretty sure both are illegal," I quipped at him.

I thought I had won that point, but of course my employer had a better reply. "It's only illegal if you don't like the person keeping you," he said in a different tone... A sultry tone, implying something else entirely. I knew if I went down that road, he would likely make completely vulgar and improper comments. That would embarrass me, and I would soon turn into a blushing, stuttering mess. And I didn't want to do that in front of Edward. I'm sure he would mock and tease me and my naivety… Or make even more implications that would make me feeling something other than… humiliation…

I decided to stay to a winning formula of sticking to the moral high ground. "No, I'm pretty sure it's still illegal," I stated.

"Would you not like it then?" I was a little shocked how I had shivered then under Edward's intense gaze. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing how he was affecting me.

"No. Sorry."

He moved a little closer, trying to frazzle my resolve. He had his smirk on again, ready to create all sorts of mischief. "Looks like I have to make you more dependent on me, needing to be in my presence all the time," he almost purred.

He really wasn't going to give up his attempt at being lewd, but I wasn't going to take the bait. I pushed him backwards so that he was out of my personal space. "Good luck with that." I looked over at the clock on the wall and saw that it was nearly midnight, so I decided now was a good time to call it a night. "Well, I'm going off to bed then." I got up from the couch and started to head to the door.

"Night angel," he said as a final tease. Rolled my eyes at him and left him alone in the dark room.

Hi readers!

Just wanted to give notice that I'm going away on a holiday - so the story won't be updated for a while. Don't worry - I have HEAPS of ideas and plan to do heaps of updates once I get back! Lots of love to you all! Xoxo