Ok here is the next chapter only two to go...I think. Thanks as always to littlegreeneyes. this is a romance chapter, sorry if I suck at it.(I don't think its my area!)The next chapter will be a lot of fighting! I do have a lot of readers it would be really nice if some could give me a reveiw. Especially as I'm so close to the end...it's been a long long story!
Snape was surprised to find he had fallen asleep again, despite the disturbing visit from the Kitsune. His arm, or at least he thought it was his arm, was still cradling Hermione, her head rested against his chest with one arm casually draped across his waist. Snape had no wish for Hermione to wake up in this intimate pose, it compromised his position entirely.
Problem was, the Professor couldn't see how to extricate himself without waking the girl up. Gently he pulled her more towards him in an effort to release his other arm trapped beneath her. He groaned at the lack of sensation in his dead arm, and struggled to move it as Hermione stirred and snuggled closer. Snape held his breath slightly, as he prayed she wouldn't wake up just yet. Little puffs of hot air tickled his neck in a very unfamiliar way as Hermione breathed peacefully in her sleep.
Snape was alarmed by the realization that he didn't really want to move. Hermione was impossibly close to him. The last time he was this close to anyone was in his early teens, when he lay in the summer grass with Lily. Even then it wasn't like this; this was different.
He could feel every movement in Hermione's body from her pulse, to the heartbeat that hammered against his chest. Even though she knew about his shameful past, after all she knew what he was capable of, and he knew what she was capable of. She lay sleeping peacefully against him. The complete trust she had in him, to be so vulnerable, it astounded him. Finally he shifted his arm from under her, rolling her from his chest and back to his side. Then he remembered his wand, how had he forgotten? It would have been easy to move her with it. Maybe his subconscious just needed an excuse to lie there a little longer.
Snape levitated her up and removed himself from the sofa, to then place her back down. She stirred and muttered something in her sleep that he couldn't quite catch. Snape stood staring at her for a few seconds. When he realized that the blanket had fallen, he knelt down beside the sofa, picked the cover up and placed it over her, pausing again to look at her sleeping features. Automatically he lifted his hand, and with his thumb traced the contours of her cheek down towards her chin. Hermione moved down towards the sensation and kissed the palm of his hand gently. Snape froze, after all the effort he had taken to not wake her up and to then stupidly succumb to a sentimental urge.
"Good morning Severus." Hermione whispered against his hand.
Snape removed his hand to cover his own mouth with it as he silently regarded her.
"Why were you touching my face?"
He stood and turned his back on her as he replied,
"Checking you were breathing."
Hermione sat up and pushed her hair back from her forehead. Smiling at his pitiful excuse, she watched the retreating professor.
"Oh...ok, that sounds plausible, I didn't tell you about my sleep apnoea." She said skeptically.
"Why did you kiss my hand?" Snape asked as he began putting his books away.
"Because it was there." She answered without hesitation.
Snape did hesitate before he spoke, when he did, it was barely an audible whisper "I liked it." He winced the moment the words left his mouth. 'What a ridiculous thing to say when I'm about to tell her not to do it again! Maybe she didn't hear, dear God I hope she didn't hear.' He thought while pretending to straighten the books on the shelves.
Hermione decided not to push him any further; she brushed off his whispered admittance and said,
"I'm going to go back to the others, they're going to wonder where I am."
He was slightly relieved by her comment thinking; 'Thank Merlin she didn't hear me, she would never have let that go.'
"What will you tell them?" he asked trying to sound disinterested.
Hermione stood up and folded the blanket and straightened her clothes, then walked over to the professor who was still fiddling with the books on the shelves. Standing behind him for a few moments she watched his nervous twitches, amazed that such a powerful man could be so insecure.
Hermione reached out and held his arm, bringing it down from the shelves turning him to face her enquiringly. She slid her hand down his arm and grasped his hand, his fingers trembled but he made no attempt to close them around hers, but he didn't resist either. Hermione sighed and raised his hand to her mouth, and kissed each finger while closing them over her own with her other hand.
Snape shuddered and closed his eyes in an effort not to look at the woman caressing his hand. 'Oh god she heard me! Of course she did, when does she miss anything?' he thought.
"I will tell them what ever you want, I could tell them I couldn't sleep so I came to research with you, and you let me and looked after me. But maybe you would be happier and more comfortable if I told my friends I was stressed out. In my confused state I banged on your door, until you had no option but to let me in. Then I will tell them how, with all your usual sarcasm and charm, on the moment I stopped being a danger to myself you unceremoniously threw me out! Is that more you?"
Snape opened his eyes; he had made his decision he was going to ignore the feelings he'd struggled to repress. Pushing all thought of what life could be out of his mind, he slipped into teacher mode.
"Once again you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time Miss Granger, you could have just as easily ran to the Headmistress's office and sort solace there. Disturbance of the mind and poor judgment sent you here."
"That can be the official line Professor Snape. Off the record, I need you to know that no one makes me feel as safe as you. You astound me...in every way."
"You have no idea do you? You haven't got the slightest bloody clue as to what you're doing to me! You're breaking me, destroying everything I am. I didn't ask for this... I didn't want it! But now I've felt it... No… No" he exclaimed shaking his head
"I'm sorry but I just have to ask…?" Snape was struggling to articulate, this was new to him, and he never had difficulty with words.
"Ask what? Just ask me what ever you want." Hermione prompted gently.
His face was blanched, his eyes filled with confusion, his breath was ragged and heavy. Finally his strangled voice asked, "Why me?"
"Honestly? I have no idea. When I saved your life I felt connected to you... It freaked me out. You invaded my dreams I don't know why, but now your there ...I'm used to it, I like it."
Snape grimaced, speaking through clenched teeth he said "I know why...it's a bond, it's not real... It's not a real emotion. You need to ignore it, you need to ignore me."
"I don't want to, I don't care if it is magic or a bond, love should be magic, love should bond."
Snape spluttered slightly and tightened his fingers around her slim hand. His dark eyes finally aligned with her bright ones.
"Love! Hermione...I'm old enough to be your father. I'm ugly, embittered, scarred and emotionally repressed. There is nothing to love about me. The bond will break and you will be horrified by all this."
"Please Severus. You excite me in ways you can not imagine. Your power, drama and intelligence make you the most attractive man of my acquaintance. Are you handsome? No, but your striking, arresting and very unforgettable. Bond or not I've always been impressed by you. Give me a chance to prove I'm serious." She pleaded desperately.
Snape was shaking his head as she spoke.
"No it's wrong, people will think its wrong. It will ruin your future. Please don't ask me again."
"I won't ask you again, but you will ask me."
"No Hermione, I won't. You need to go now."
"Alright, will I see you later sir?" Hermione asked sadly her eyes just a little to bright.
"Yes I need to see Potter and the rest of his friends."
"When?"
"As soon as possible, we need to take action."
"I will get them together as soon as I can. Sir? Your still holding my hand it's hard to leave when you're detaining me."
Snape let go of her hand quickly and waved her away. As the door closed he fell forward against his bookcase and randomly pulled books out hurling them to the floor and swearing loudly in frustration.
Hermione made her way to the medical wing, hoping against hope that Madame Pomfrey had not checked in on her during the night. The sight of the matron's scowl and pursed lips dashed her hopes.
"Where have you been? I was just about to send for Mr Potter... I assume you have been with him? Very irresponsible to not tell me you wanted to leave, especially after shock, you may feel well, but shock can have real physical side effects."
"I know. I am sorry I worried you. I had a nightmare I couldn't sleep, so I left to do some research for a bit."
"You are a strange young woman, what research could have been important enough to do on your own in the wee small hours?
"Hopefully research that will keep us alive and free from oppression." Hermione answered sharply.
"Well yes indeed, of course that's very important. We are all very grateful for all your efforts to protect our world, but you need to let people protect you. A heroine is no good to the world if she's dead or suffering from post traumatic stress. Learn to lean on others… you should not have gone alone."
"I wasn't alone, I do appreciate your concern I really do, but I am not a child any longer." She said firmly but kindly.
"You are to me my dear, in any case I'm glad Mr Potter was with you."
Hermione smiled sadly and left her with that comfortable delusion. "May I leave the Medi bay now? I am perfectly fine and I really need to be with my friends."
"Yes, Yes that's fine, I have no right to keep you here, I'm just concerned about you. Will you take some dreamless sleep potion with you."
"I think that might be a very good idea, thank you so much Madame Pomfrey."
Hermione then began to gather her things and made her way to the room of requirement.
When she entered their safe room she felt a rush of affection for her friends as they all smiled with genuine pleasure at the sight of her.
"Hermione, how are you? Have you come to join us?" Neville gushed.
"Yes Neville, hello Luna… its good to be out of the medical wing."
"Ahh well give it a day or two and unfortunately I'm fairly sure you will be back in there." Laughed Harry.
Hermione shuddered comically. "Don't say that, I really can't cope with another stint, I refuse to get hurt again."
Harry approached Hermione and as he took her few things from her hands he hissed, "What? Not even to get your knight in shining armour to rescue you again?"
"Shut up Harry! But thanks for omitting the greasy, that's a step up for you!"
"Don't read anything into it, I still don't like the old bat."
"I said shut up! Before you ruin a beautiful friendship."
Harry smirked and walked over to another single bed that had magically appeared in the room then dumped her things at the foot of the bed unceremoniously.
Draco sat on his own bed clutching the box the Kitsune had given him, he felt faint out of fear at the thought that Hermione was indeed very likely to find herself back in the medical wing if he didn't trust the Kitsune's advise. What made it worse was he had sworn not to repeat his conversation with anyone and the burden felt too heavy.
"Hi Draco, are you ok?" Hermione asked noting his pale features and far away expression."
'He's been like that all morning, what the hells the matter with you Malfoy? You've been like a wet rag all morning." Ron enquired sensitively.
Draco looked up and scowled at Ron then turned to Hermione with a truly disarming smile.
"Sorry, I'm just tired and hungry I guess, happy to see you out of the medical wing."
"Thanks Draco, lets ask the house elves if they mind getting us something to eat. Then I'm afraid we need to meet Se-Professor Snape. I think the time for action has arrived."
The others shifted and squirmed, uncomfortably aware that the next twenty-four hours promised to be very dangerous.
They all freshened up, changed clothes and ate, feeling refreshed and ready for battle they made their way to Snape's office, Hermione told Harry to bring his cloak. The School felt very quiet despite it being a Monday and the time being closer to lunch than breakfast. Apparently all lessons had been suspended and the teachers had returned many of the children home. It was a disaster for the school, as proper explanations had not been given due to the ministry calling for secrecy at the present time. Widespread panic must be avoided at all cost the minister had said. Proof of Voldermort's return was not evident enough to issue a warning to the Wizarding population.
Ron had taken great delight in showing everyone his morning delivery of the Daily prophet over their breakfast. Reporters at the prophet were having a field day with many theory's ranging from shoddy repair work at Hogwarts causing the school to close, to poor class management by the headmistress. One reporter even suggested that Severus Snape had lost his mind after his illness and had attacked several children, It seemed that a few children had backed this theory up.
"He just went completely mental, all I did was mention that Hermione Granger looked sweet with Draco Malfoy at the hero's ball, when he hit me from behind with a stunning spell in the corridor! He then snarled at us all for time wasting and gossiping, told us we were the biggest bunch of dunderheads he had ever had the misfortune to teach, then disappeared of to the dungeon. I mean since when was talking in the corridors banned. My parents intend to make a formal complaint." Stated a Miss Greengrass of Hogwarts School of Witch Craft And Wizardry.
Draco snorted out the tea he was drinking as that particular paragraph was read.
"Do you agree Hermione?" He had asked.
"God no." Hermione had responded cheerfully only to scowl moments later when Draco smirked "looks like we made two people jealous then sweetheart."
Neville and Ron looked at them with confusion unable to follow the direction of the conversation. Harry had looked away muttering something that sounded threatening. Luna had just smiled in her angelic way and said, "The professor is frustrated, and I sense he fears loneliness. He has suffered for too long, he's been offered something he thinks he shouldn't want and cannot have and yet his heart is treacherous and love covers a multitude of sins."
Then Hermione had choked on her tea. "Why do you say that Luna? Who would offer him anything?" Harry stared at Hermione incredulously while Ron laughed outright at the thought of Snape even having a heart. Meanwhile Neville continued to look on thoughtfully. Draco waited with a full-blown smirk on his face for Luna to respond. He had been disappointed when she just smiled wistfully and shook her head.
Draco leaned over Hermione and had bated her by saying "What have you offered him?"
Hermione had dug him in the ribs effectively ending the conversation somewhat unsatisfactorily for all but Luna.
Now they all stood at Snape's door Hermione and Harry had a small argument over who would knock, Harry lost and as he raised his fist he whispered to Hermione,
"I hope he's not asleep again or playing dead."
'"I doubt it, he's had a sleep and he was awake when I left him." Hermione whispered back.
Harry faltered exclaiming "What? … Why were you?... Oh my god I don't want to know."
Hermione blushed as she realised how that sounded "Its not like it sounds." She said quickly.
"Merlin's Beard what are you two whispering about? Just knock on the bloody door already." Ron cut in impatiently.
The door flew open before Harry could reply, and a deep baritone voice said "Stop loitering at my door like a bunch of idiot carol singers and get inside."
They all trooped in and waited to learn what the next twenty-four hours had in store.
Snape explained the significance that the veil possibly held and suggested they visited the department of mysteries. His explanation of the last few days left a lot out, he barely mentioned the Kitsune, and he avoided any speech or eye contact with Hermione.
Hermione stood mutely listening to the professor's rough unsatisfactory explanations.
Ron finally interrupted him saying
" I'm sorry sir, but just how do you expect to get into the department? I work there, I'm not allowed to let you in to that particular chamber, I'm not even supposed to discuss it."
"We will get in the way the Death Eaters did, by force. Admittedly it would be a lot easier if you just let us in Mr Weasley."
"What and lose my Job? Are you mental?"
"The daily prophet would like to think so, certainly. However what is more important Mr Weasley, liberty and life or employment?"
"Well when you put it like that, fine…fine I will let you in, Cho could blow our secret though."
"I doubt even Miss Chang would be diligent enough to be at work at that hour." Replied the Professor.
"Sorry Sir I'm still confused, why do we care if the cloak came from the veil? We don't want to make these items work, Dumbledore said it's not safe." Harry interrupted.
"No we don't Potter, but Voldermort does! We need to disable it somehow, that is if it is connected to the Hallows. If we all go, we should be more than a match for any Death Eater that may have stumbled on this same theory."
"I suppose that makes sense, get there before they do." Harry said still unsure but glancing at Hermione for her reaction.
Hermione just nodded slightly at him, it was enough to convince him to go along with whatever Snape suggested."
"Mr Potter I'm afraid I need to borrow your cloak."
Harry looked at the professor suspiciously.
"Why?"
"I need to examine some of its properties and structural make up."
Snape explained with a forced politeness.
"Alright but I want the wand in exchange."
"Harry!" Exclaimed Hermione crossly.
"What?" he snapped swinging round to face her.
"What does the Professor have to do to gain your respect and trust?" She asked furiously.
"I don't know! Trust no one that's the motto to live by."
"I trust you, don't you trust me?" Hermione asked sadly.
There was a hush in the room as everyone expected Harry to agree.
"I did, but now your slightly deluded in another's character and favour. Yes you and Ron are like my family but you are bias and I'm not sure that your judgement is not impaired."
Tears Sprung up in Hermione's eyes and she gasped slightly as she struggled to stop them falling.
"Harry how could you? Take it back!" Ron punched Harry in the back as he admonished him.
Ron walked over to Hermione and held her hand "I trust you." He said.
Hermione smiled through her threatening tears gratefully.
"Alright, Alright here, have the damn cloak, keep the wand. Its just hard to break a ten year habit of dislike and distrust, no offence."
Harry threw the cloak to Snape, who was still not looking at Hermione. Snape caught it deftly and said. "Non taken Mr Potter, I feel you may have offended Miss Granger, but that's your concern."
Hermione had unfortunately begun to cry in earnest at this point. Harry walked over to her mortified.
"Sorry." He said stroking her arm gently; while Ron and Draco glared at him.
Hermione covered her eyes and composed herself.
"It's ok Harry, we all say things we don't mean. It hurt, but its not really you hurting me. I'm still tired and overwhelmed, Sorry for the tears."
"You have every right to them, I do trust you." Harry said gentley.
"I know." She said softly.
At this Snape drew himself up to full height, and with his deep unconcerned voice he ordered them to leave his office." All right, I think I've taken as much melodramatics as I can stand, I suggest you leave, rest up and prepare for tonight. I will meet you all after I have briefed the Minister and Headmistress. Eleven o'clock in the entrance hall. Don't make me wait…Go on get out!" he said waving his arms towards the door.
They all quickly left following Neville who was first to bolt; Hermione was last still holding hands with Ron. As she stepped over the threshold Snape spoke again.
"Miss Granger, A moment please." Ron looked at Hermione in sympathetic apprehension. Hermione nodded at Ron and let go of his hand giving him a little push and a muttered
"Go ahead, see you in a moment."
She stepped back in the room and waited.
Snape sighed and to her surprise passed her a black handkerchief. "For a girl who appears to have endless crisis's in life why do you never have a handkerchief?"
"Hermione wiped her eyes and held the handkerchief against her face for a moment.
"Because Sir they are an old fashioned item, and a lady always hopes someone will wipe her tears for her."
"Don't let Potter make you cry again, its not good for his ego. He's still an immature arrogant fool."
"As are you sir." Hermione retorted. Then she audibly gasped at her audacious comment.
Snape's dark eyes narrowed, he drew back slightly.
"No one, and I mean no one speaks to me like that. Yet I can't find it in me to do anything about it, I don't think I can even chastise you. I can only repeat, don't cry over Potter's pointless words."
"It wasn't Harry making me cry." Hermione turned to the door to leave.
"If that Is all Professor I will go now, fun though it's been."
In a flash Snape was at the door blocking her departure. He lowed his head, his hair obscuring much of his features. "Please tell me they weren't for me?"
Hermione stood straight and firm and said clearly, "They weren't for you."
Snape leaned against the door and looked up to the ceiling letting out a long breath. It was with a sinking heart he realised he wished they were for him.
"They were for me. They were completely selfish tears. I want to hate you, and to laugh at you, but I can't. Then you said I was Harry's concern, I knew in that moment how silly I was to think you could ever be concerned about me. So now I think I just hate myself. Please get out of the way I wish to leave."
Snape motioned to leave the door but then stopped. "I have carried your unconscious body three times in as many months, I have held you twice in my arms as you slept. I've cried on your shoulder…" He shuddered in abhorrence of that memory, continuing "I've fought for you, killed for you, Danced with you and read poetry with you. I've sent you gifts, I pleaded for your life and cried when I thought you were dead, I've kissed your face while you were sleeping … please tell me at which point I failed to show concern for you?"
Hermione faltered in her movements to sweep past him for the door.
"The point now, when all I want is for you to hold me and say you want me, not just through duty or because our lives are in danger or because you've been pushed into a situation, but because you want to!"
Snape stood aside from the door; she miserably walked past him to leave. His strong hands reached out for her and grabbed her to him. Hermione, after a second's hesitation wrapped her arms around his neck as he held her against him firmly, one hand found its way in to her hair. He stroked the thick curls soothingly. Hermione's head fell lightly in the crook of his neck and he could feel the moisture of her tears.
He rubbed his cheek gently against the side of her half hidden face. Caressing her gently, he whispered, "You're killing me."
He brought the hand down from her hair, his fingertips pressed lightly under her chin and lifted her face up.
Hermione's eyes were tightly closed; she was trembling slightly in his arms. She felt the wisps of his hair against her face and she felt his cold lips touch her warm cheek. "Don't ask for anything more…not yet." He breathed into her skin.
Letting go of her back and reaching up he brought her hands down opened the door and said "I will see you with the others at Eleven o'clock in the entrance hall do not be late."
Hermione smiled, nodded and left.