The steady hum of the tires on the road attests to the recent resurfacing of Hwy 16 toward Cumberland County.
"So Walt, how are you?"
"Fine."
The hum is more soothing to listen to than the static on the radio.
"Right." Henry looks out his window.
Walt glances over at at Henry in the passenger seat, "If you weren't going to believe my answer then why'd you ask the question."
Either can sometimes be preferable to conversation.
"I wanted to give you the opportunity to tell me the truth. It is what friends do before they call someone on their bullshit answer...Tell me, what have you been doing since I left your office this morning?"
"I actually spent most of the time talking to Branch."
"Branch? That is not what I expected."
"Not what I expected either. He apologized for Martha's death. I decided to tell him about my history with Barlow. Vic thought it might be good for him to know. I figured she was probably right."
"I have not thought about what happened between the two of you for many years."
"Yeah, well, I've thought about it a lot since it happened. It's the only reason I've been so patient with him all this time. The last 12 hours it's been almost all I can think about."
"Walt," Henry's voice holds a warning, "I know you. You do not need to blame yourself for what Barlow has done. It is not your fault."
"I reserve the right to have a difference of opinion."
"Barlow is a selfish, bitter and angry man who happened to become a murderer. You are not responsible for making him that way."
"I certainly didn't help and my wife paid the ultimate price."
Henry decides to try a different approach.
"How are things with Vic?"
"What's she have to do with what's going on with Barlow?"
"More than you may think. Ferg told me that Branch attacked Vic in the office after realizing she had told you he kidnapped Sam Poteet. I have wondered how much that may have brought back memories of what Barlow did to Martha all those years ago. In all the time I have known you there are only two women you have allowed to break through your rough exterior and touch your heart. They both have been subjected to aggressive acts by Connally men. Though the incidents occurred over 30 years apart, it seems like a strange coincidence. It would not be unusual for the attack on Vic to dredge up similar emotions to those you experienced the first time.
"I thought I asked you to stop analyzing me using your psych 101 lecture notes sometime around 1985."
"When you came into the Red Pony after Vic's abduction and admitted to your feelings for her you said you did not know what to do about them. Have you given any more thought to that?"
"I've been a little busy trying to exonerate my best friend. You see, he was falsely accused of murdering the loser meth head who killed my wife."
Henry ignores Walt's sarcastic retort and continues to press him, "What about last night?"
"What about it?"
"I was convinced there was little any of us could do to keep you from tracking Barlow down and shooting him in the head. I know how cheated you felt at not being the one to kill Miller Beck. You would not let the right to exact justice pass you by a second time. Then you talked to Vic and everything changed. What happened in my office to bring about such a drastic shift in focus?"
"I..uh...we talked."
"I had assumed you talked. What about."
Walt rubs his tongue over his teeth, "I'm not sure what to say."
"You could try the truth."
"Vic and Shaun, uh, they're getting a divorce."
"I see...Interesting tactic on her part."
"Well, she didn't lead with it. I could tell she didn't even want to say anything about it. I kind of pushed her into it."
"And after you pushed her into it, what did you say?"
"Nothing." He doesn't tell Henry it's less about what he said and more about what he did.
"Nothing?"
Walt shakes his head, "Not at first."
The two men ride in silence for a while.
"She caught me off guard. I wasn't sure what to think at the time."
"And now?"
"I feel guilty because I'm glad."
"Feelings are neither good nor bad, Walt, they just are. There is no need to assign a value to them and you certainly should not experience guilt about how you feel. You already have enough guilt about things over which you actually have some control. Do not place more on yourself than you should...However, since you brought it up, is the guilt from being glad about a marriage ending or is it because you think you are betraying Martha by caring about another woman?"
"A few days ago I would have said it was a little of both, but...today I don't know."
"What has changed?" Henry waits patiently for Walt to answer.
"I scattered Martha's ashes yesterday, Henry, after Fales and Sloan left for Denver."
"I see."
"When I realized it was Ridges who had killed Miller Beck I knew Jacob Nighthorse had been the one behind Martha's murder. I meant to kill him. I decided I wanted to let Martha go so she wouldn't know what I had done when I returned home afterwards...but now...I wonder if maybe I wanted to be more free to embrace the feelings I have for Vic...Maybe I was lying to myself. Neither is a very noble reason I'm afraid."
"It was time to let her go, Walt."
"I know...past time really."
"As for the reason, you do not have to pick just one. Perhaps in this case it was both reasons, in conjunction with others you may not have even realized. I do not think you were as selfish in your decision as you suspect you were."
"Vic was married yesterday. I shouldn't have thought about her that way."
"Vic is married today. She will remain married until the divorce has been finalized by a judge, but we both know that is just a technicality. What changed from yesterday when you scattered Martha's ashes to today is that now you know Vic will soon be single and that is something you will have to face at some point."
"Well, that'll have to wait until after I've dealt with Barlow."