Chapter 36: Shattered

Author's note!

Sorry for the late posting. I've been so caught up with studying and doing homework, it's retarded. My exams are in eleven days. I only had inspiration for the start of this chapter, so forgive me if it wavers. Enjoy this one, please review.

My world was falling apart at its seams, darkening exponentially.

My angel, my only love, was now in the same apartment as my crazy ex girlfriend. I squeezed my eyes shut and raked a shaking hand through my hair. The fear from the last time did little to come the nerves, the thought of losing Ana was crippling. Her leaving me was one thing, but her leaving... Permanently. I swallowed and stilled.

"HOW THE F*** DID SHE GET IN?!" I hollered, Taylor jumping in his seat at such high speed could not even distract me.

"Sir, I'm sorry." His tone was resigned and defeated. I knew how much both my security details were attached to Ana. Especially Sawyer. But even if guilt was eating him away, I still wanted an explanation.

"JUST GIVE ME AN EXCUSE, ANY FU**ING EXCUSE WILL DO." I snapped, exasperated. The idea of Ana lying breathless in my apartment was looming over my head and I needed a distraction. Any.

"Sir, Welch said she has been in the apartment since yesterday."

My mouth hung. "WHAT THE FU** AM I PAYING ANY OF YOU FOR?!" How on earth could my expensive security team make such a huge mistake?!

"Sir, I'm sorry." Was all the man could say, his eyes fixed on the road to avoid my gaze.

"Luke, if she..." My voice trials off, the pain cutting me off early.

"Sir, I will resign." Taylor stated, firm in his decision. It then donned on me that if he left me because he failed to keep Ana alive, I would be losing another one of my best men... My good friend.

"No, don't." I muttered as he pulled the car to a halt outside Escala. Once the ignition was cut, we both leapt out of our respective sides and sprinted towards the building.

Taylor had made good time with the car ride. I was suddenly hopeful that it was not too late, I could still save my damsel in distress. My fair maiden. We would leave unscathed and I would have my happily ever after with her.

As we stepped into the building, a loud sound exploded and we jerked in our strides. Panicked eyes met mine. "ANASTASIA!" I heard myself holler, my world dimming.

APOV:

An ear-piercing scream filled the room.

I was not breathing. My breath caught somewhere in my throat. Confusion spread through my system. But that would mean that I was not the one screaming. A shot had ran out but I had not been hit, my skin devoid of any invasion from metal foreigners. My eyes fluttered open immediately.

Leila was against the wall, her eyes wide with panic as her mouth sourced the irritant noise. I followed her gaze to find Luke, his gun trained on her like he was taught to. His gaze was so fierce and penetrative that I could not help but catch a sight of Christian within them.

"Luke?" I whispered. "What happened?"

Suddenly, the paleness of Leila caught up to her and her knees knocked together. She crumpled to the ground, her head slamming against the floor hard by her pistol as she fainted.

With his gun and eyes still fixed on her immobilized stance, Luke side stepped until he was a few inches away from me. His voice was like steel. "Are you alright?"

I blinked, my conscious still floating above my body. I flicked my focus back and forth. "What... Happened?" There had been a bullet shot. Someone must have been hit. I was sure of it.

"Ana," Luke called, his gaze falling upon me frantically. "You're okay..." He stretched his hand out to me, intruding into the defense I had just built in the past minute. When I did not take it, he laced his words with reassurance. "You're alright, take my hand."

Mechanically, I brought my palm up slowly, inching it towards him. Luke did not wait for me to meet him halfway, he bent to take it and held me snugly. Luke lowered his gun and I came to realize that he was wrapped in only a towel. He really had been going to bathe.

Suddenly, the moment caught up with me and tears began to bud in my eyes. I returned back to my childhood days, craving the protection of my father. "Luke..." I cried, defeated and weakened.

"You're okay, sweetheart." He urged me, taking me into his bare chest as my tears brimmed over. I was so certain that I was about to die, I was so sure of it.

The metal was pressed against my side as Luke returned the embrace, his free hand coming to cradled the side of my neck as he cooed into my ear. Just like Leila, my knees began to shake and I crumbled. But unlike Leila, I had someone to catch me. Luke's firm arms held me in place as I lay like a puppet doll with no strings.

I cried harder, partially in disbelief. "You came back."

When Leila had had me at gunpoint, I was so confident that nobody was coming to my rescue. I definitely did not deserve it. I was the damsel that pissed off all my knights and finding herself abandoned during times of distress.

"Of course I did." Luke stated, as if apologetic that he had evoked such manifestation of my insecurity.

My hands sandwiched between his chest and mine. God had given me a second chance to make this all right. "Thank you, Luke. I'm so sorry."

He chuckled, I shook along with him, the moment so twisted. "It's okay, Ana. I was just angry with you, it wasn't going to last."

"I'm sorry. " I repeated, the whine clear in my voice.

"I forgive you." He whispered soothingly, knowing this would ease my guilt significantly.

Never again will I run from anything. I had roughed up my relationship and almost lost this precious jewel of a friend. Never again. In this moment, I felt thankful for Luke, finally seeing the quality of the friend I had in him. If I were in his shoes, I would have just walked away.

"ANASTASIA!" That familiar holler burst our little bubble, still distant.

Luke laughed softly as he increased the distance between us. "Here comes the love of your life." I looked up at him through a glassy vision, the tears slipping down my cheeks as I stared at him. He gave me a soft smile as he swiped away my tears quickly.

"ANA!" Christian exploded into the room, his hair in a wretched sexy crazy mess. His eyes were maddened in more ways than one, panicked as he scanned the room for me.

"Here she is!" Luke sang, his hands finding my shoulders as he spun me around like a peace offering to the beast.

Christian's eyes widened and with balled up fists, he stalked towards me like a bullet train. Just as he grabbed me, Luke surrendered my body and took a calculated step back. Christian's arms clutched me tightly towards him, a little too tight for comfort but I was relishing in his embrace.

"Ana." His voice was graced with relief. We stood there enjoying the other's embrace, my tears beginning to choke me as I had so recently imagined to never be able to see him again. To feel him again. I snuggled closer against his padded chest and breathed in his soothing scent.

"Leila?" I heard Taylor ask, hushed.

"She's not dead." Luke replied, "I shot the gun out of her hand and she fainted." I was momentarily stunned by Luke's precise aim.

There was a moment of silent contemplation. "Looks like her shrink was right about one thing... Her sugar level is low as hell."

I locked my arms around Christian as he pressed his lips against the side of my forehead.

"More importantly, he was wrong about her stability." Luke scolded the absent doctor.

"Why are you not dressed?" Came the slight curiosity in Taylor's inquisition.

"I was going to bathe when I caught sight of Leila on the cameras." He explained. Luke must have been checking up on my physical and mental state from a distance, even when he prepared not to care. That made my heart melt.

"Ambulance?" Taylor questioned.

"Not yet. Mr Grey might want to keep this private."

"Private." Christian choked out, brushing his lips against my cheek bone.

"Private?" I whispered audibly.

Hearing the insecurity in my voice, Christian pursed his lips. The last time he had handled Leila privately, it did not to very well with us. "Get Flynn and the doctor over."

Trying not to hurt his feelings, I pushed gently against his chest to try and get a better look at him. He could not possibly think I would let him... Take care of her again, did he?

Christian's arms fastened around me. "Taylor, I need to chat with Ms Steele." Oh, now I was a Ms Steele. "Get Leila out of here. "

What would there be to talk about?

Hold your horses, Ana. My inner goddess preached. Don't you dare start a war you can't win.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down, soaking in her logic. The door clicked shut and I knew we were now alone. I heard Christian take a breath as well to steady himself, then he began to release me, taking my hand in his.

"Something you want to say, Mr Grey?"

His grey eyes were blazing with a myriad of emotions. "Yes, Ms Steele. For one," he lifted my hand, "Your engagement ring."

Oh, he was still harping on that. "It's not in my possession." He smirked, leading me towards the the bed. "Christian..." I warned, not in the mood for any blanket rustling quite yet.

"We're not having sex now, Ana." He stated, which made the colour rush to my cheeks. I observed as he lifted the beautiful ring from its position on the bed side table, then inserted my finger into it. He was literally glowing with joy and pride.

"That makes me so happy." He rasped, bringing it up to kiss.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He was stalling.

"Anastasia, you've seen how broken Leila is, I can't exactly hand her to the cops even though I almost lost..." His voice cut off as the memory crossed his mind, leaving him stunned and breathless.

Reflexively, my hand cradled his cheek, my heart beating the same tune his was. I had almost lost him too. "But I'm here now and so are you."

Recognition painted itself on his face and he nodded at me slowly, "What should we do with Leila? Why was she here?"

"She loves you." I told him, concluding the entire drama into three words.

"Fu** no, Ana." He scoffed, rolling his eyes at my words.

"Christian." I scolded. "She was going to kill me because I was making you unhappy."

"That's not love, that's called in need of psychiatric help!" He snapped.

I felt a bubble of laughter come to my lips. "The same way you stalk me and over-protect me?" Before he could rebut my point I smiled at him assuringly. "It's a twisted form of love, but it's still love."

Christian sighed, conceding as he leaned in to press his lips against mine. "I really do love you."

"I love you..." I stroked my lips against his. "and Leila loves you."

"That's quite enough, Ana." He was irritated, antagonized.

I knew there would be no other way to resolve this. If he did not solve this now, I was going to have to take a course on " How to deal with being held at gunpoints daily". "I think the best way to handle this is for you to talk to her."

" What? Just a minute ago you were pissed about me keeping this private." Christian looked confused.

" Just keep your pants on, Grey." I glared at him playfully.

It was his turn to narrow his eyes. " It's not remotely funny."

"You're right, it's not." I caught his pout with my fingers and smoothed it out. "Mr Grey, I'm sorry."

There was a sparkle in his eyes, "I cannot wait to call you Mrs Grey."

"I already feel like a Mrs Grey." I winked at him, fluttering my eyelashes.

A low growl escaped his lips, "I'd like you to FEEL like a Mrs Grey." He said, brushing his fingertips across the crook of my buttock. It must be the fact that we had both come so close to losing each other that manifested this extreme sexual tension in the room. I could literally lock us both up in this room for a decade, his smoldering eyes tempting me further.

There was a knock on the door. "Mr Grey." Taylor said through the door. "Leila's awake."

"Duty calls." I told him softly.

Without warning, Christian's arm around my waist jerked my torso into the curve of his arm. As I fell, my legs lifting off the floor, he bent in to press his lips against mine. Forcing them open, he ate me like a man that had gone without food for too long. I returned the kiss, gripping onto his hair tightly and pulled, inducing a feral growl from him.

Christian lifted me off the floor, swinging me about like one of those scenes in the movies before another knock invaded our personal moment. Gently, he placed me back down on the ground. I giggled and he bit on my bottom lip, "Later."

"Later." I repeated the promise, as his fingers laced through mine and he led me out of the bedroom.

When we entered the living room, my eyes fell first upon Luke who was now fully clothed. He had his arms crossed against his chest, towering over Leila and leaving her squeamish under his penetrative gaze.

Christian sighed audibly, "Leila."

The poor girl, curled up into a defensive ball, snapped her head towards our arrival. Her eyes softened the moment she saw Christian, but confusion stirred within her fragile soul as she saw our entwined hands. Christian and I were presenting us as a united front.

"I love Anastasia, I can only love Anastasia!" He pretty much blasted at the poor girl.

"Christian!" I hissed.

"Leila, this is the last straw!" Christian proceeded with his anger management issues. Did he not see how close she was to snapping?!

I snatched my hand out from his. Ignoring his furious stare, I walked towards Leila and gently placed a palm on Luke's chest as he stepped forward to keep the distance safe between us. "She's unarmed." I told him. Reluctantly, Luke stood down.

Regardless of what Leila had done to me today and before, her words had really reached into the pits of my heart and found some sympathy for her. I understood her, I understood how her love for Christian drove her crazy. We were in the same boat and to think that he had cast her aside… I could barely even survive leaving him. My mind would not even try to imagine being rejected by Christian.

Slowly, I lowered myself to rest upon my knees in front of her crumpled body resting on the couch.

"Leila, are you okay?" I kept my voice measured and my tone soft. Panic was in her beautiful eyes as she barely could comprehend my kindness towards her. "Leila, I will make Christian happy." But the lack of trust she had in me reflected in her pupils, as if I had an ulterior motive.

I could not blame her. She had seen with her own eyes how I could torture Christian, how large an impact my irresponsible actions would have on the love of her life and mine. If I were Leila, I would have shot me a long time ago. Even if she had almost killed me, I could find it within me to forgive her because her intentions were purer than mine.

An idea crossed my mind and I lifted my banded hand for her to inspect. "I'm going to marry him, Leila." I observed as her eyes glowed the same magnitude the diamonds shimmered in this light. "I will vow to love him, protect him, cherish him and make him happy."

Disbelief coloured her face and she turned to Christian for confirmation. Christian, who had his jaws clenched and his hands balled at his sides, gave her a firm and stern nod.

"I know why now." Leila voice was timid and shy, abashed on so many different levels. With much slowness, she refocused on me. "I know why master picked you."

I found myself smirking at her, "You do? I'm still figuring that one out myself."

"I'm sorry for… everything." She said, ignoring my errant and insecure comment. "I just want him happy."

"And he will be." I reassured her, reflexively reaching to take her hands into mine. All four sets of eyes flicked to me, emotions all pretty much shocked and uncertain of what they should do. They lacked warmth but were very soft. "I promise you, Leila."

"I think that's enough." Christian said, stalking up to us and taking my hands out from hers. "The doctor and Flynn is here, we'll give them some space." He jerked me up to my feet and tucked me behind him, playing the role of a wall between the harmless girl and myself.

I could see myself in her. I could imagine myself being her if Christian had chosen to say no to my request for 'more'. I would have been broken, shattered even. I would have become someone like Leila, purposeless. No matter where I went from here, it was decided that I would be with him every step of the way. Never again will I let him go.

"Christian, Ana!" Flynn cheered, trying to brighten up the mood in the room. It was as if someone had died in here… or almost died at least.

Christian swiveled to face me and there was newfound warmth in his expression, he nudged at me to turn with him. "Ana, you've met John, this is one of my family doctors."

Conceding, I began to turn.

"Anastasia Rose Steele?"

My eyes widened as I realized who it was.

93 Million Miles; Jason Mraz

Wherever you will go; The Calling

Shattered; OAR