From that moment on, everything was different.
Gone were the tensions brought on by her confession of ending her engagement with Donny, replaced with a trust between each other unlike any she'd ever known. But the guilt sliced through her anyway, for she had yet to be fully honest with him. Last night as she cried in his arms, it provided the perfect opportunity to tell him everything; to apologize for lying about her break up with Donny. It was true that she hadn't actually lied, but allowing Niles to assume that it was Donny who had ended the relationship and not saying anything was just as bad, if not worse. He was placing blame on a man who was completely innocent.
However, none of that seemed to matter now. An invisible barrier had broken between them, leaving a space in which to deepen their friendship. If she could not be his soul mate in the romantic sense, then she was willing (albeit painfully so) to accept their relationship as it always was; one of friendship.
He was her best friend. She'd known that for years. But now it was even truer. There was no one on earth she cared for more than Niles; no one at all.
Last night as she slept in his arms, she had awoken fully but briefly, to find him sleeping soundly. The poor man had been exhausted was exhausted and what had she done? Not only had she spilled his secret, but she'd managed to cause him undue stress and anxiety which lead to a near fatal attack. Perhaps she was over-reacting at the memory of the severity of his attack, but when she noticed the change in him, she treated her response as though saving him was the only thing that mattered. And of course, it was.
But when he was breathing normally again, she had broken down in sobs, allowing him to think, once again that she was still mourning the loss of the man who had placed a diamond ring on her finger and promised her the stars. Her heart however, knew the truth. It wasn't Donny she'd been mourning. It was Niles and the fact that although she loved him deeply, she could not have him.
She had stared at Niles for a moment, wondering how it was possible for a man to be so beautiful. He was sleeping so soundly that if she had dared, she could have leaned into him, softly kissing his lips and he might not have known. Instead she did what her conscious instructed her to do. Slowly she removed his sweater and shoes and unbuttoned his shirt collar and cuffs, in the hopes of making him feel more relaxed.
He was out cold; having no idea that she was touching him, allowing her to lift his stocking feet onto the sofa and cover him with a blanket. Taking care of people; it was what she did. It didn't take long, however for her to realize just how tired she was. And so she settled in the plush arm chair that sat adjacent to the sofa. But when she heard him gasp audibly, she was awake and out of her chair, flying to his side within seconds.
She sat beside him, one hand on his chest, the other carding through his soft hair. They no longer used paper bags to control his breathing when they realized that she was able to calm him on her own.
"It's all right, Dr. Crane. Just breathe slowly." She encouraged, stroking his hair and forehead. His eyes were wide with fear, but she continued to whisper softly. "It's all right. I'm here."
He tried; he really did. But this time it wasn't working. He turned pale and then blue, frightening her even more than the last attack. She couldn't lose him. Not now, not here, not ever. Tears filled her eyes and panic filled her chest. "Dr. Crane, please… Please, stay with me! I love you!"
Her whispered words somehow found their way to his ears and like an answered prayer, he began breathing normally. Overcome with relief, she could not stop the tears that spilled onto her cheeks. But it was when he pulled her into his arms that the tears increased, dampening his shirt. She loved him so much more than she ever did before now.
God how she loved him.